A/N: I wish you all a Merry Christmas, and hope you'll like today's chapter. Feel free to let me know what you think. And if not, I wish you all a happy new year, and will see you in January with the next chapter. Also, as a note, I altered the introduction of Leanna a bit in chapter 1 to be more in line with the introduction of the other characters. You can check it out if you want to.

After another dreamless night, I awaken. Zack is once again propped up against his tree. It's impossible to tell whether he is awake without me checking using the Force. But Leanna is nowhere to be seen.
For just a moment, panic seizes my heart.
Where is she?
I jump up, quickly falling back down due to my entanglement in the bedroll. Luckily my reflexes kick in before I make a loud mess. I quickly move out of the bedroll and jump up again, looking around. There are no signs of a struggle, and in the distance, I can hear the sounds of combat without conflict.

I relax somewhat and then head over there. While I walk I smooth out my robe and run a hand through my hair. I also breathe against my hand to check if it smells.
There is a deep, suffering sigh within my mind, which I ignore and continue onward. On the way, I also disintegrate the organic matter that needs to leave my body.

Soon, I am over a hill and see Leanna.

"Hya!"

She is training, practising her fighting style. It is most similar to Lightsaber Form IV, also known as Ataru, but includes a fair bit more Force effects than traditional lightsaber styles. I speculate that this may be because - besides enchantments - Terran mages do not have access to passive Force effects like precognition or longsight.
I lean on a nearby tree and observe her.
She moves with an incredible sense of fluid grace, seeming to both naturally flow between positions and instantly snap to any stance as required by her invisible enemies.

Needless to say, I am enraptured by her performance - both by her grace and her proficiency.
It is easy to guess why she is speculating about which weapon to commit herself to next - her craft seems marked by almost a decade of intensive study.

I am content to watch her until she either notices me or takes a break. I don't want to break her focus. The Force knows how much I dislike that.

Soon enough, though, she notices me and waves me over.
I smile at her and walk over to her.
"Good morning, Leanna."

"Good morning. Sleep well? And I haven't woken you, have I?"

"I think so."
I roll my shoulders. How considerate can one person be?
"I wouldn't know of anything indicating otherwise. And no, you didn't, don't worry."

I then gaze at her warmly.
"And you?"

She breathes a sigh of relief.
"Ah, good. As for me, I slept nicely. Watch was uneventful."

"So these bandits behaved themselves, yes?"

"They did."

I smirk.
"Good. It's not like they had an option to get away, anyways."

She looks at me with smiling suspicion.
"Oh? You wouldn't know anything about their cuffs being impossible to break open, would you?"

I whistle innocently.
"Who, me?"

"Yes, you, mister god."

"Hmm, you got me, misses knight."
I smile at her.
"What'cha gonna do now?"

She thinks a moment.
"Well, I am interested in your skill with a blade. Why don't we spar a bit?"

"Alright. What handicap do you want?"

"Just equipment and skill. No magic."

"Alright, can do."
I step away from her, drawing my sword.
"But don't expect me to go easy on you. I know you wouldn't want that."

"Of course not."

"Though given what I've seen just now, I can't really afford to go easy on you in the first place."
I look back over my shoulder, smiling at her.
"Consider me impressed so far."

She smirks.
"Alright, where do you want to duel to? First touch, third touch, or concessions only?"

"Hmm. Since I don't want to hurt you, I'd say first touch? To start with, anyways."
I roll my shoulders again and let my blade twirl around me.
"I just had a spar recently, but not a swords spar like this. That has been quite a while indeed."

"Alright."
She walks away from me, setting herself across the field from me.
"Actually, I should remind you that pericognition is considered magic!"

I tilt my head.
"It is one of my senses."

"If you get that, I get to mess with it!"

I shrug. It would only be fair.
"Go for it. I can't really turn it off."

"Alright. Ready?"

I twirl the sword again and let it come to rest in a ready stance.
"Yes."

She nods and stands at the ready.
We begin to circle closer to each other.

I wait for her to give a signal, uncoiling my fingers around the handle.

Then she dashed forward. She is slower than she normally is in a fight, like yesterday, but still very fast.

I keep a close focus on her movements, on how her gorgeous golden hair flows in the- no! I snap back to reality just before Leanna can land a hit, and I move to block. Her blow hammers into my defence as she glides past me. Not having expected that power, I stagger slightly, but quickly regain my footings and further anticipate her strength. I stay on the defensive for now, though.

Immediately, there is an assault from almost every direction as she moves rapidly around me, striking all over. One of the enchantments on her armour involves her inertia, and she is using it to great effect.

"Ohh, so that's how you're going to play with your equipment, is that it?"

I can always see the next attack coming, but she's so fast that moving to block each is a task.

"Yup!"

I stay on the defence for just a while longer, analysing her movement patterns.
"Alright, then."

She notices the change approaching and jumps backwards.

I smirk.
"Huh. You noticed. Well, you had your turn. Now it's mine."

The words barely leave my mouth, I spring into action. I rush up to her, easily showcasing the same speed she had, and come into range with a vertical slash.

She spins spellcraft to life and a siren's cloud forms around me. She defends for a moment, then suddenly shifts her fighting style. Then again. Then again. My precognition doesn't see it coming until an instant before each shift. However, it matters little, I try to tune it out anyways, instead relying on observation and prediction.

We exchange a flurry of strikes and parries as Leanna turns the heat up higher before my senses scream at me and a bolt of lightning barely misses, thanks to me tilting my head.
"Hey!"

"Part of the field. Sorry!"

The lightning strikes her.

My eyes were about to narrow but now widen.
"By the Force, are you alright?"

It is absorbed completely, and electricity crackles over her weapon and armour.
"Oh, I like this part."

The sparks die down, and her assault begins anew, ever faster and harder.

My eyes narrow now.
"Alright, then."

"You're really strong for some reason, though."

"You're not the only one who knows more than one form of bladework."
I take a swing which gets deflected, but as the blade's back comes around, I activate the hidden lever and the weapon splits, quickly folding into the double-bladed form. The second blade then arcs towards her.
She is only mildly surprised, bouncing it as well.

Well, I did give her a warning. But from there on out, having switched combat forms, my blades move like a blur, twirling around me in a dance of death.

She raises her eyebrows before smiling.
Once again, she increases her speed and precision, not yet dipping into magic and yet still possessing enough skill and ability to press the attack against my new strategy.

I continue to observe her as we weave back and forth, locked in our blade's dance. All of her gracious, captivating movements are getting burned into my memory, and I eventually sweep out with my leg when her footing is a bit precarious.
She flips up, and I don't notice that her determined expression is unchanged until it is too late. There is a tap on my right shoulder.

I close my eyes and sigh. My sword shifts back. I then look over to see her sword against my arm, frozen in place as she twists around it and back onto her feet. She lands with a light pat.

Despite having lost, I can't help but smile. I hold out my hand.
"You fought very well. Great, even."

She shakes it.
"Thank you. You were an interesting opponent."

I laugh lightly.
"That's one way to put it."

"You were inhumanly strong, though. Where did that come from?"

I grimace.
"Kriff, that came through? I thought I held back..."

I sheathe my sword and run a hand through my hair. My bang does not move out of my face, though, and I'm sure she notices that.

"Not stumbling before a wind knight at maximum speed is a bit weird."

"That wasn't maximum speed, and we both know it."

She smirks.
"Right on. But those blows at the end were sufficient to bust steel. People don't resist that without magic, usually."

I sigh deeply and run my hand through my hair once more.
"However, since you managed to catch on so fast, there's no point in hiding it any further."

I plop down, and gesture for Leanna to sit with me. She does so.
I take a deep breath and look at her. Here goes nothing.
"You... you're right. My strength... is inhuman. Most of me is, really."

"Oh?"

I keep a calm expression, but I think fear may shine in my eyes.
"I may... look human... but I'm anything but. I am... a mutant."

I look down.
"A monster."

"I'll be the judge of that. Tell me what you are exactly. Monsters aren't monsters because they look icky."

I nod slowly, looking back up again.
"Many years ago, I was- I mutated myself with the DNA of a different species. By now, my biology has evolved and completely encompassed that new genome. I carry many biological traits from the Colicoids - an insectoid species of omnivores."

"Okay. So what exactly changed about you?"

"Where do I start? Well, for one, my strength, which you already noticed. My muscles are several times denser than those of a normal human, allowing me incredible strength with relatively less muscle mass. The same thing goes for my bones, though they aren't the only thing keeping my body in shape anymore. My entire skin has changed as well, having a layer of chitin directly underneath. They're like... like scales I can harden at command."

She nods.

"Then, my blood. It's green and acidic. My entire anatomy has changed as well. The position of organs, the organs themselves, my heart..."
I take a breath.
"My digestive system along with it, as well as my metabolism. I can literally eat anything, and my body can digest it. By now, I've learned to control my metabolism by will, so I don't have to eat entire banthas for breakfast. It also made my brain more efficient - even more efficient. It can now be considered a biological supercomputer in regards to the raw computing power."

I point to my throat.
"Changed my vocal cords, too. Deep down, I have something like mandibles, allowing me to use the language of insectoids. I've got pheromones as well, like insects. But I've learned to suppress them."

"Pheromones? What are those?"

"Uhh... you know, kind of like certain scents insects use to communicate and influence each other."

"Okay, that seems like a weird thing to have if there's only one of you, but okay."

"Works on other insects, too. And further, I have an immunity to toxins, poisons, and acids, and biological diseases as well. And last, but not least, I also think that it has increased my aggression. Like, when I get angry, it gets harder to stay calm, instead, I want to rush to violence..."
I look at her, uncertain - insecure.
"That's... that about sums it up..."

"Okay, here's what I got out of that: you are stronger, more durable, hungrier, and have an insect aesthetic. Do you need to hunt people to survive?"

"No, I am an omnivore. Though, unlike humans, who get ill by eating human flesh, I could."
I shudder.
"The thought makes me sick, though."

The memory of having done that even more so, but I dare not say that.

She frowns, but not at me.

I blink.
"Huh? What's wrong?"

"Well... I'm sorry, Xerath, but I don't see what about that makes you a monster."

I sigh and slump in relief.
"I... I should have expected that response from you. You wouldn't care about how my organs look, you only care about how I am as a person. It's just... others had looked at me like I'm some kind of freak once they learned, before. That's why I mostly try to hide it. And I was..."

I take another breath.
"I was just afraid that you'd turn away from me because of it. You still don't know me so well, after all."
My hands tremble in my lap.

She smiles at me.
"It's alright, Xerath. Right now, you don't need to worry about them. You need to worry about me, and I say that none of those things sound so bad."

"They..."
I blink at her.
"They don't?"

"Nope."

All my current tension leaves my body as I sigh in relief.
"Thank the Force... Though, I hope you won't change that opinion when you see some of the more alien aspects of my body. Hearing me tell you about them is one thing, but seeing them yourself might be another..."

"You can show them to me if you like. But not sooner than that."
She stands and offers me her hand.
I accept her hand, and for a moment consider just pulling her into my arms, but then decide against it, allowing her to help me up. I do most of the heavy lifting, of course.

"I would prefer to test you against someone else, but I doubt Zack could go head to head with you in a swordfight."

"I doubt Zack would go head to head with me in a swordfight."

"Oh?"

"He's actually reminding me of a close friend of mine - A'den - you know, the warrior I told you about that went solo against an entire army?"

She arcs a brow in confused amusement.
"Really? What does your erudite mind deduce from this association?"

"Well, his behaviour shows great similarities to A'den so far, as well as another Mandalorian warrior I know, and both of them can mess with people when they want to. Even though they mostly appear stoic and deadpan, they have their own sense of humour. And said sense of humour consists of them using people's words against them. So, if you were to ask Zack to duel me and hand him your sword, but don't explicitly state that it's a sword duel, he'd just shoot me. From what I've seen in our small skirmish yesterday, his fighting style is centred around efficiency, so I'd assume that his combat mentality boils down to 'do whatever it takes to win'."

"I see."

"Of course, this is only a guess. I haven't read Zack's mind, so I don't know for sure."

She frowns slightly.
"That isn't my favourite type of fighting, but it comes up distressingly often."

I nod.
"Indeed. Which is why I was... let's call it hesitant yesterday, when you wanted to capture the bandits alive."

"I had to try."

"I know. It's who you are. And I'd agree with you, if I wouldn't have seen that mentality go wrong so often before."
I gaze up at the sky.
"You see, when I was part of the Sith Empire, I tried to change it from within, along with A'den. We both had a... unique take on the Force, and we believed that the Empire could be so much better if they'd change a few things. So, after a lot of time and digging, we eventually found other Sith like us - that used dark powers but had kind hearts."

I frown.
"Initially, it didn't go well. Many distrusted us, accused us of being spies, to turn them in to Intelligence. But we managed to gather some eventually. We found one in a skirmish, and he was making his way through an enemy position - some Hutt goons or something. But like you, he wanted to preserve life whenever possible, so he only knocked his enemies out. However, one woke up sooner than he expected, and shot him in the back while he was fighting a group of other thugs."

I look at her with a soft gaze.
"I want to spare you from that danger."

"Xerath, I wouldn't have attempted that unless I knew it could be done."
She looks down.
"I do my best to help people. Sometimes the best I can do is a clean death. Sometimes that's the best thing for someone, regardless of what I can do. Sometimes I don't have a choice. But I need to do my best. Always."

I hesitatingly put a hand on her shoulder.
"I know, and that's one of the things I love about you. But still, I worry for you. All it takes is one stray shot for tragedy to strike. I've seen it so, so often before..."

"I know. But how could I do less than my best?"

I smile.
"I guess you couldn't. So, then I suppose that I'll just have to protect you when you continue to do your best."

She smiles at me.
"I appreciate it."

I continue to smile as I gaze into her eyes.
"Well, this is in my interest, too. After all, I already hate the mere thought of seeing you hurt."

"I'd say the same, but the only time I saw you afraid of death was when you were running from Ceru."

I sheepishly scratch my hair.
"Well, I thought he could eat my Force energy. And if he were able to do that, he might have been able to eat all of it, cutting me off the Force. Only then would I really die."

"But from an outside perspective, it was quite funny."

"Well, I assume..."
I smile at her with such warmth I didn't even know I possess.
"But even so, he led me straight to you, so all's well that ends well."

She blushes somewhat under my attention.

"I'm really grateful that I got to meet you, Leanna."
Then I notice.
"Oh, is that too much again? I'm sorry. Uhm... should... should we go back and get some breakfast?"

"We should get moving soon. Let's pack up."

I blink at her, having spoken simultaneously once more. Then, I laugh lightly.

She quickly switches gears, flustered. She doesn't object to my words, however.
"Camp?"

I nod.
"Camp."
I make the gentlemanly gesture of letting her go in front of me.

She nods sagely and we walk to the camp. As I fall in step beside her, I can't help the small smile on my face. All in all, a great start to the day.

Zack seems to have already made breakfast. I smile at him as we come back.
"Good morning, Zack."

"Morning. You two look happy."

"Why shouldn't we be? It's a great day so far, isn't it?"
Then, I pause. Zack meant both of us. I glance at Leanna.

She is smiling.
"We are, Zack. Do you mean to imply that there is a reason for this?"

He blinks.
"I suppose."

"Well, to satisfy your curiosity, Xerath proved to be a most interesting sparring partner."
She steps forward and grabs some of Zack's creations.

I smile at her sort of praise, despite myself. I follow her lead and take some of the food as well.
"I'm glad you think so. Coming from you, that's pretty high praise."

She smiles at me, further confusing Zack.

I somehow manage to tear my attention away from this blonde angel and look back at Zack.
"So, how was your rest? Were you able to catch some good sleep?"

"Yeah. Ground here is fairly soft."

"Yeah, it really is. Made for a rather comfortable sleeping spot. And your watch was eventless, too, I take it?"

"Yeah."

I nod.
"Good. Oh, and thanks for the food."

He nods in acknowledgement, but doesn't say anything else.

"Well, then, you still seem somewhat busy, so we won't bother you anymore. Feel free to join us when you eat your portion, if you want to."

"Alright."

I then walk away with Leanna towards our sleeping spot. Where she will see the disorder my earlier bout of panic has caused. Oh no, I haven't thought about that!
She is naturally startled by the mess.
"What?"

I scratch my cheek.
"Uuhmm... yeah, that's on me. I'm sorry."

"Why exactly?"

I look away, cheeks flushing hotly.
"I, uhm, kind of... panicked, when I woke up. But... you want to know the reason to that, too, don't you?"

"Yes."

I sigh and take a deep breath.
"You weren't around."

"And you were afraid that after I revealed to you my greatest gift - hope - I would disappear?"

"Something like that. Or that something happened to you, like, the prisoners coming free and doing the Force knows what with you... So, yeah, I woke up, noticed you weren't there, and I panicked. I jumped up to try and find you, but forgot I was still bound by the sleeping roll, so I fell back down. Then I fought myself out of it and went out to find you. As soon as I noticed that you were still around and not in danger, I calmed down. Instead, I got captivated by the grace and precision with which you moved."

"That's sweet, Xerath, but I hope you won't feel the need to damage my bedrolls again."

"Oh no, did I damage it?"
I look down at the bedroll and notice a small tear on one side.

"I'm sorry. Let me just..."
The tear closes itself. As well as any other damage it may have suffered in my onslaught. I restore it to pristine condition.

She blinks.
"Well, that's handy."

"Yeah, I think so, too."
I smile.
"The ability to affect everything down to atoms like this is one of the few things I actually fully like about my new powers."

She blinks again, this time also tilting her head slightly in confusion.
"Atoms?"

"I mentioned them yesterday. They're the molecules that make up everything around us. Kind of like building blocks of matter."

"Okay."

"But that means you haven't developed microscopes yet, then."

"We know some things about very small things, but we can't see them yet."

"Hmm... what do you know, then?"

"Well, beneath the scale of life there are tiny building blocks described by weird math I don't understand. But apparently, these small small things are very chaotic for their size. Knowledge about them allowed us to create siren's clouds, for example."

"Hmm... that could be the atoms you're describing. But I'd need to take a look at the 'weird math' to check for myself."

"You'll have to ask at the Academy for that. I have no idea."

I nod.
"Alright. Good thing that we're going there, then, right?"

"Yes."

I smile at her, still in quite a good mood.
"So, should we start packing up?"

She returns my smile.
"You seem happy. I'm glad. Let's."

"Well, how could I not?"

We begin to pack up, and soon after, today's walk begins.
I stay at Leanna's side in the front again, my smile not faltering, even if it is a more subdued one by now, and Zack stays at the back, behind the bandits. Ceru returns to his usual spot on my head. It is only slightly cloudy, as the sun shines towards us.
I let my gaze travel across the marvellous landscape. Rolling hills with green grass on one side, and a forest with tall trees on the other, I can't help but be in awe of the natural beauty. While I visited many beautiful planets before, like Alderaan and Rishi, this is still something special.

Leanna's melodic voice calls me out of my musings.
"You know, I wanted to ask. What can your magic do?"

I blink.
"Huh? My magic in particular, or that of the general Force user?"

"That sort of thing, yes. The character of your power is... not the same as mine, even though I can detect it."

I tilt my head.
"Yes, but that doesn't answer my question. Are you interested in learning about my abilities, or those of the general Force user? Because mine run far deeper."

"Yours interest me more, but I'd like you to tell me which of yours are common and which are mostly or only yours."

I nod with a smile.
"Alright, getcha."

I then draw a hand to my chin, cupping it between thumb and index finger, like I always do.
"Hmm, well, what can I do? I think the better question would be what I cannot do. You see, the Force is this energy all around, that can be manipulated and shaped by our minds. As such, the most determining factor is the caster's will. Of course, techniques and the like play a large role as well, but the most important factor is that you believe you can do it. As well as a person's connection to the Force, of course. As such, there are a broad variety of skills I can use the Force for. You've seen the Force Lightning - often called Sith Lightning, and you've seen me use my unique mend of vision, understanding, and control to warp reality to my will. Aside from that, I can do theoretically almost anything. The only hard limits I currently know of is that I cannot create new life, that I cannot reverse or forward time, and that I cannot revive people when they have already joined the Force."

"Interesting. I don't think I've ever heard of someone who could do all that."

I shrug.
"I thought not. I wouldn't call myself a god if that were the case."

I then gaze down, somewhat troubled.
"The depth of my powers... is highly unusual and unheard of, even for my galaxy's standards. I don't think of myself as a god because I was hit on the head one too many times or because I'm otherwise delusional, but because I actually have the powers necessary for that claim."

"I don't think you quite understand. I've never heard of anyone that could do those things, be they bound to myths or not."

That makes me look back up.
"Oh?"

"You are the first person, real or fictional, to set foot on Terra and claim divinity for themselves."

I blink.
"Huh."

"At least, among those that Esaria remembers."

"Don't you... have religions or something? Although, I suppose that faith-based religion doesn't necessarily go that well with your scientific view of the Force..."

"Somewhere, probably. I haven't heard of any in a long time. But we might be talking about different things anyways."

I shrug.
"Who knows. It is possible. But even then, I always love to hear what you have to say."

I smile at her warmly.
"Tell me: to you, what does the word 'religion' mean?"

"Well, that people believe in something - usually something that is not founded by science. More like a myth, usually centred around some kind of deity."

"Hm. Interesting. Well, those with all-powerful beings are rare, even in my galaxy. But I was never that much of a religious person myself, either, so I'm not too in-depth with all the different faiths there are. Anyways... how, uhm... how does that make you feel?"
I look at her, and my gaze is most likely filled with uncertainty. Or is it something similar, but different?

"How does that make me feel?"
She ponders a minute.
"I'm not sure. The question at the heart of power is its use. I wield many powers that can break or destroy, and it is my job to use them responsibly. The same with those that build and heal. Many tiny powers, all of which clamour to be used, day in, day out."
She looks at me.
"To be able to do almost anything... a more neutral power you could not find. I have hope you will be responsible with them, and trust that you have."

I nod slightly.
"Yes. With great power comes great responsibility. I do not use it lightly."

Then, I look down.
"But still... it is incredibly burdening to know that I can destroy entire planets with not much more than a thought. And the only thing hindering me from that... is myself."

I shiver.
"Normally, you know that there will be consequences if you step out of line, like law enforcement when you do a crime. But that doesn't exist for me..."

"'But a single stone holds up the archway, and yet it is not alone'."

I blink.
"Huh?"

"You might be the only one holding yourself back from such things, Xerath, but while a standing arch is held together by a single keystone, that stone does not need to hold the arch up alone."

My eyes widen in realisation.
"I... I suppose not..."

Then, my expression softens again.
"Thank you."

"I'm happy to wedge on in beside you on the bridge, if you need help holding it up."
She smiles my way.

I smile very warmly at her, my affection as plain as the day.
"Thank you, Leanna. I think I'd like that."

I then clear my throat.
"Ahem. But, well, my powers aside, the typical Force user can also do all sorts of things. Like precognition, which is something that every Force user should have access to, in some margin. And telekinesis is one other thing many do - using the energy within and around us to affect objects with our mind. Other techniques are the improvement of physical capabilities. There are the Force Jump and Force Speed, for example. And a rather rare ability, only used by true masters of the Force, is the Phase Walk. Or the ability to heal, as we discussed, using the energies of the Force. Some can also cure the mind... or hurt it, depending on your alignment. As I said, the Force... is something supernatural. At least to us. As such, the possibilities are near endless."

"I see. Why would something natural necessarily be limited, though?"

"Hm? What do you mean?"

"You said that as the Force is viewed as supernatural, its potential is limitless."

"Yes?"
I tilt my head.

"Why would something natural not have that potential?"

I blink.
"I... I fail to see your point, I'm sorry."

"Magic, as we know it, is connected to the stuff of reality, forming half of each thing. A type of magic can be wielded to alter anything connected to it. The types of magic we have access to describe all known phenomena. So if one were to wield the elements to a great degree, likely using a highly complex manipulator as a conduit for such energies, your powers could be approximated in theory."

"Perhaps... I... I have much too limited knowledge about your type of magic to draw any conclusions yet. However, to come close to the range of abilities a traditional Force user wields, you'd need to combine all the elements. If I were to hazard a guess, that's why you struggle with understanding shadow magic so much. Your other elements are logical and affect things on the visible scale. Shadow magic, however, focuses on the mind, and other things, correct? So, I hypothesise that this type of magic contains the aspects you would consider supernatural - aspects that go against your principles of magic. Thus you'd have a hard time understanding it."

"I'm not sure. Ephemera are thought to be strange to us now, but that they won't remain that way forever. Perhaps Shadow magic will only remain outlawed until we can understand it?"

"I'd hope so. Because, if my hypothesis is correct, your elements draw from the Light side of the Force, while shadow magic is your embodiment of the Dark side. And by shunning one aspect completely, you turn away from the whole thing that makes up the Force."

"But for now, I am not comfortable with people who can warp minds running free."

"So... you're not comfortable with me running free, either?"

She slightly shifts her weight.
"Not as much as I'd like. Do you do it?"

"No. I hate that power. But I am capable of it."

"Well, I can't really regulate you away. I guess a good example is how I treat Shadow mages. I try to make sure they don't exist, but if I find one that hasn't hurt anyone, I'll do my best to make them feel welcome - and to guide them down a gentler path."

"I stand by my opinion that shadow magic - and their mages - are not necessarily evil. As such, I wouldn't be too surprised to find some that practice it in harmless ways, that use it as an opportunity to learn and help. Thus your stance on this is rather level-headed and admirable."

"And I stand by my belief that in the cases of ephemera harmless tends to take practice."

I nod.
"Fair enough. There rarely ever has been a master that just succeeded at everything they tried, after all."

"And that practice tends to hurt people."

"Not if you do it correctly. Though it is unfortunate. Which brings me back to my earlier point."
I then shrug.
"Well, who knows, maybe I can help your world in their understanding of shadow magic?"

I chuckle somewhat.
"Of course, that would require me understanding your magic as well beforehand."

Then, I smile as I look forward.
"Seems like I've still got my work cut out for me. How fortunate."

"Indeed. I think this is once again a problem of the differences between our powers."
She looks at me.
"When someone in your galaxy does something to the mind of another, what happens?"

"Depends on what the someone doing something wants to happen. And the mental defences of the someone that has something being done to them. For example, I once witnessed how the Sith Emperor took control of just about an entire planet - as in, controlling their minds. Only a few individuals that have willpower strong enough could resist him. On the other hand, there are powers that have the goal to embolden people, to help them think more clearly in battle, or to cure damage that has been done to the mind."

"All of which are possible with Shadow magic, but the problem is the mechanism. In order for a prospective mage to be able to do this magic, they must learn how minds feel. From what we know, each mind is different, though there is a commonality between certain ones - and we do not possess even the vocabulary to describe these sensations between Shadow mages. As far as we have found, the workings of the mind must be learned through random bumbling within a variety of minds, using powers that fry wills at the slightest misstep."

I nod.
"You mentioned something along those lines before. And I think, that process goes down to the fundamental weakness I see in your usage of magic."

She nods.
"Until we can properly describe the mind, it is impossible to train someone to hold dominion over it. Except through trial and error."

"Well... Now, again, this is only a hypothesis - I sorely lack more data to work with - but I assume that this problem boils down to how you view magic."

"But Shadow magic is a potent force against ephemera. I have not heard of any shaking its grip through willpower alone. Magic is required to resist - elemental energy forged into a deliberate shield around your mind."

I blink.
"I assume this 'ephemera' is a word you use for shadow magic, so I am a bit confused right now. Do you describe the mind with it, or what?"

"We describe the element of Shadow as the element of the fleeting, the pieces of the world that yet hide from our light. It seems rather arbitrary, but the distinction fits enough. One of these is the mind."

"I see..."
I shake my head.
"Anyways, I think your problem with shadow magic boils down to your view of magic in general."

She arcs a delicate brow.
"Hmm?"

"To you, magic is part of the natural world, right? It's something observable, something you can analyse to learn. It's a very natural part of the visible world around you, right?"

"Yes. Shadow magic being of ephemera is... temporary, until we find the pattern underlying its nature."

"And that's the problem."

"Until we have the words to describe what the magi see."

"You view magic as something you learn by observing the natural workings of magic around you. Why the Force here acts in this way, I do not know. And following that belief, of only being able to do magic once you know everything inside out, of course you wouldn't be able to affect the mind without exactly knowing how it works. And for you, learning how it works means tearing it apart."

She nods.
"And so our efforts have slowed to a crawl as we wait for other fields to catch up."

"Indeed. And so, your fear of it continues to fester. That aside, though, this problem hints at an underlying issue. As if a part of your magic is incompatible with your very definition of magic. I mean, the fact that you are all but blind to the energy within yourself is somewhat concerning. At the very least, it's something worth to look into."

"I don't see the problem. We don't understand this part of magic. Our definition of magic accounts for things which we do not yet understand."
She smiles.
"We're still learning, Xerath. Definitions change, new things are made, the bounds of knowledge tighten, and civilization moves forward. We don't understand Shadow magic because we haven't got there yet, just like we once didn't understand why fire burned and how it related to the magic of Fire."

I blush slightly and scratch my cheek, offering a small smile of my own.
"I... suppose that is true. Yeah. One never finishes learning, after all."

"And from the looks of things, our patience may bear fruit one day. I've been party to long discussions about the ways the brain, the mind, and lightning may be linked. Other elements connect to this puzzle, just as with many other things."

I nod.
"They are, by the way."

"And so with the elements we do understand, we intend to brush against these ephemera. It may take many centuries, but the end of the war was the dawning of a golden age of science, and our patience will pay dividends in the lives we do not reap on the way to the heart of the mind. Death was only ever a good teacher for the single student anyways. It didn't work for building institutional knowledge."

I look into the distance, my expression forlorn.
"The end of the last war, you mean."

"Yes, I do."

I continue to gaze into the distance.
"They say that we fight for peace, but what is that? Isn't peace nothing else but the time between wars?"

"Sort of. Peace is defined by the possibility of war. Like the relationship between pain and the lack of pain. In a world where pain cannot be, to be painless has no meaning - but in the real world one does not need to experience pain to understand the abstract benefits of painlessness."

"Quite true. But still. I wonder if true peace even exists..."

"What do you mean 'True' peace?"

"A peace that isn't just the preparation for the next war."

"I see. I suppose your answer will change depending on how you view the question."

"Hm?"
I finally turn back to her, a glint of curiosity shining through barely hidden hopelessness.

"Look at the current peace of Esaria. No one is looking for war, though we remain ready for external threats. War may come for us, but no one is actively pushing for another."

I laugh bitterly.
"And that's better than anything we have accomplished so far."

I turn to gaze at the sky again.
"Whenever there was a period of peace... it wasn't long. And it was just so that the great powers could lick their wounds and prepare for war yet again. I... I really hope that things will change now that Valkorion isn't around anymore to pull the strings behind the scenes... I'm just so done with war..."

"I can't offer anything in that but my hopes, Xerath. There are some things in your galaxy worth fighting for - a place that could even produce people that want to protect it must have redeeming qualities somewhere. I only hope that is enough."

I look at her again with a sad smile.
"The hope you offer me is more than I had in almost a decade."

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. When I open them, the sadness is out of my expression, replaced with warmth. One reserved for her.
"You believing in me like you do is more important to me than you probably even realise. So, for that, I thank you. From the bottom of my heart."

Her expression doesn't change, but I can see how her soul lifts in how her eyes shine.

I feel my cheeks heating up, so I glance away and scratch them.
"Also, you know, I've been thinking."

"About what?"

"You. Me. Us. In a way, at least."
I sigh to calm my rapidly beating heart.

"Yes, Xerath?"

I smile slightly.
"You see, what you said yesterday, that you're willing to even consider me in a romantic light... it has made me really, really happy."

My smile then drops somewhat.
"However, perhaps it's just me fretting over nothing, but... I wouldn't want you to feel like it's your... I don't know, your job or responsibility to take care of me, in whatever way. I'd hate it if you'd end up with me because you feel bad for me or something. And, I know you, the more you'll learn about me, about my life, the worse you'll feel."

"A problem doesn't go away because I choose to ignore it, Xerath. Regardless of whether I hear it, what happened to you happened."

"That is true."

"To answer your question, though... I think you might have it both backwards and far too simplified."

I blink.
"Huh?"

"I've told you before that I've never seen someone more deserving of love than you. That you picked me so readily despite being of such importance where you came from that political marriage was irrelevant and you could've selected anyone... said something to me. I don't feel like I have to do this, but I feel like I should give you a chance."

I blush once more, and this time, I don't face away. I just scratch my cheek.
"I... thank you..."

My voice is small.
"Though, uhm, fun fact, I did play with the thought of a political marriage anyways..."

"Oh?"
Her tone lacks judgement.

"Well, the Sith Empire... After the initial attack of Zakuul, most of the Dark Council was either dead or incapacitated. Afterwards, one of the remaining members - Darth Acina - crowned herself as the new Sith Empress. I've known her for a while, occasionally also worked with her, and as far as Sith go, she's not bad, one of the good ones. So, I played with the thought of asking her for marriage. With her as the Sith Empress and me as the Eternal Emperor, it could serve as a powerful sign of cooperation, I think."
I sigh and then smile at her.
"But that option's from the table now, anyways."

"Why did you eventually avoid it?"

"Because I met you now."

She blinks.
"You were considering it until I appeared?"

I shrug.
"Pretty much. It was a rather recent thought. The idea came to me... about half a year ago, or something? When I was stranded in the wilderness of Dromund Kaas with her due to some assassination plot."

"As in, an effective political manoeuvre which would grant you access to a large portion of the galaxy and... how would Darth Acina compare to you at this point?"

"In terms of Force powers or political power?"

"Yes. How effective an aid would she be in governing the Eternal Alliance?"

"Well, in terms of Force powers, she's vastly inferior. But anyone is, really, since I... received the powers of Valkorion. However, even before that happened, I was stronger than her. I wasn't considered the Elite of the Council for nothing. But still, she grew considerably in the last years. And politically, well, she holds very considerable influence in the Empire, which still holds much territory. But their navy is crippled. The Eternal Alliance may not have that much territory, but our navy is unrivalled. So, all in all, she'd be a very effective aid."

"And what about her skill in statecraft?"

I laugh lightly.
"It's about what you can expect from a Sith. Though she's a bit more... subdued is the wrong word... level-headed than many others. She does a very good job in governing the Empire, from what I gathered, and is also not above herself to listen to other opinions and suggestions. For one she has pushed new doctrines and is well on the way to reform the Empire. Alien species are now allowed into the military, for example, in an effort to work against the chronic xenophobia that plagued the Empire for so long."

"That sounds like she's doing good work. So, you gave up that person for the possibility of me?"

"Well, I like her, but I don't love her. Besides, I never brought the idea up to her, so I don't know if she'd even agree."

"She seems like an agile and capable co-ruler, and while I'm not the most inept... I don't know if I'd make the best empress."

I smile at her with unprecedented warmth. I wonder where all of these emotions are even coming from.
"So, yes, I gave the possibility of her up without a second thought for the possibility of you. I love you, Leanna."

I then put a hand on her shoulder.
"Also, I think you would make the best empress. Someone so caring and emotional might just be what my galaxy needs."

She smiles softly.
"Maybe. But that sounds a bit like a justification after the fact."

"Besides. I don't think I'm the best suited for the job either. Everyone else seems to think so, though, so I stick with it."
My smile falters a bit.
"I can't say it's something I really want to do, though."

"I've found that those that want power because they enjoy it tend to be worse at using it than people who take power because it's the only way to help someone."

I nod slowly.
"That's true. However, I took power to survive. I never wanted it, but it was necessary."

"Exactly. You want power to survive, but if you hate power that much... why are you still alive?"

I drop my gaze sadly to the ground.
"Two reasons."

She turns a bit white.
"I'm sorry, there just didn't seem like a polite way to ask..."

I shake my head.
"Don't worry. You didn't offend me or anything. It's a valid question. It seems contradicting, doesn't it?"

I take a breath.
"Well, as I said, there are two reasons for this, mainly. One goes back to me not going back on my word, and the other is the Force itself."

I grow silent again.

"So... do you want to elaborate?"

I sigh deeply.
"Not necessarily, but I'll do it anyway."

I'm silent for a moment longer, organising my thoughts.
"I... I grew up with someone very close to me. She was my bestest friend, and we were pretty much inseparable. When my Force sensitivity awakened, so did hers. But for some reason, hers was weaker than mine. We were curious children, so we tried to learn and train in secret, but eventually, we got found out by the Sith. They shipped us off to Korriban for Sith training... And it... it's not exactly... uhm... Sith training is pretty brutal. But she was the kindest soul I've ever known, she was completely unfit for the life of a Sith... and the Overseers noticed that, too..."

I take a deep, shaky breath. I'm completely trembling by now.
"She... When she eventually..."

I shake my head.
"She died, and made me promise her that I'd survive, that I'd continue to live for the both of us."

I'm not looking at her, trying to hide the wetness on my face.

A tear hits the ground. It isn't mine.

"Ever since then, that promise was the only thing that kept me going. I dedicated myself to this goal, to survive, so that I can look her in the eyes when I'll join her in the Force. But even then, my efforts... were not always enough..."
I have to pause for a breath.
"There have been... some incidents throughout the years, where I should have died, but didn't. The first one was the worst, though, because I actually really died. My heart stopped beating, and I felt the end coming. I was... glad, because I thought the suffering was over, that I'd finally get to see her again... I was wrong. I woke up again. The Force had rejected me, pulled me back to life in a way. Well, technically not the Force, but the ghosts I housed at that time, but well..."

I take another shaky breath and finally glance at Leanna again.
Her eyes are ringed with red, puffy and wet. She has very clearly heard my story. She doesn't say anything. Instead, she steps inside my guard and pulls my head onto her shoulder.

I freeze.
"Huh? Uhh... Leanna?"

"Shh."
She wraps me in a gentle hug, hands slowly moving in their quest to comfort me.

I have been trembling the entire time as I told the story, though only now is Leanna close enough to notice it. The trembling now eases somewhat, but I remain frigid.
After a moment, I come to a decision. An illusion envelops us both so that the prisoners and Zack don't see what's really happening between us. Only then can I allow myself to fully accept her embrace.

She smiles more as I lean in.
"You don't need to say anything else, Xerath. I can-"

She sniffles slightly.
"-can tell you've said a lot for today."

I nod mutely, and a few moments pass where I just stay like this, accepting of her embrace. But eventually, I speak up again.
"Thank you... for this."

"If I may ask... what was her name?"

"Kory."
I smile slightly as I remember her.

Her eyes glisten with tears.
"Then let us remember Kory, a little glimmer of light in your galaxy.

"Thank you, Leanna. So far, I was the only one to remember her. And... may I... can I... hug you, too?"

She nods.
"Of course."

Instantly, my arms wrap around her as well.
I hold on to her as if she is the only thing that is grounding me. She most likely gets the thought that it is most likely the case as well.
Through our contact, I feel and hear her slow, loving heartbeat. As much as there are barriers between us, I can tell that she is comfortable here, and I am extremely comfortable as well.
Feeling how her fingers slip through my hair to calm my thoughts, how even through many layers of armour I can feel her almost celestial warmth, how centering watching the mesmerizing golden heartbeat at the core of her being is...
Even as she reserves so many things behind modesty or worry or patience, she still has so much to offer me. Even more than that, I can feel how her care for all that is reaches across a history no one remembers in an effort to connect with someone that only I had ever cared about for decades.

It doesn't take long for me like this to relax and calm down. Or rather, for her to calm me down. I don't show any sign of wanting to let go, however.
"You are a wonderful person, Leanna. Thank you... I'm sure that Kory would have liked you instantly as well."

I can hear the smile in her voice.
"I don't think I could think of praise much higher than that."

Even in her acceptance of the compliment, her words turn it back towards me, implying that I too am deserving of the mark of Kory's acceptance. Her care was not an accident, she knew me and chose me. I can only shudder positively at that.

After she finishes speaking, she seems in no rush. Her breath on my ear is slow and soft, tender touch ever-present, and both her tears and her joy flow freely. She is there for me, as she promised, and her shoulder will be removed only when my head rises from it.

Surrounded by the shield of my illusion and wrapped in her embrace, I feel content to stay like this for a while. She may notice that her shoulder eventually becomes a bit damp, but I doubt she will care much right now.

"I wanted to say, though. I understand the desire for death. A lot of people don't, they talk about how death is no solution. I... don't think that's the case. Death is a solution to pain you can't see the end of, so that you sought it... that tells me I am very right to keep you close."

My arms wrap a bit tighter around her in response.

She squeezes me closer as well, ever so slightly.
"That not even the most terrible peace would accept you when you begged for it..."

She can't finish her sentence.

I smile sadly.
"Seems like I was still needed..."

She contemplates things for a second.
"'Kriff' that. If anything, the world has abused you Xerath. You. Deserve. Better."

I shut my eyes close.
"It's just... it hurts so much. Not a single day has passed where I didn't think of her. Not a day has passed where I didn't debate with myself if I should just... end it myself. And not a single day has passed where I came to the same conclusion."

"...Which was?"

"To keep going as far as I can. I promised her, after all, so if I were to end it myself, she'll most likely be very disappointed in me."

She shakes her head.
"No. She wouldn't be disappointed Xerath. She'd be overjoyed to see you again."

I shake my head too.
"Perhaps. But at the same time, she'd also be disappointed that I had to take that way out."

Then, I add weakly.
"...please don't convince me otherwise..."

She stops.
"...I'm sorry... ashes I'm so sorry... ...so stupid..."
Her tears renew.

"Shh..."
Now I'm the one who circles my hands over her back, trying to calm her down as much as she calms me.
"Besides... now... I think that now, I found something else that makes me want to go forward, aside from my promise to her."

She hears my words, realises something, and proceeds to fly off to a different conclusion.
"You were talking about her... as if she could greet you one day... after you died?"

"Yes."

"You think you can find a way to see her without dying, don't you?"

"Not likely, no."

"But if she's not dead, she has to be somewhere, right? You said you have so few limits, do you think you could go to her?"
I can hear the heart return to her voice.
"I think she'd really like that, even if you couldn't stay long."

"But she is dead. It's just that... Force, where do I begin? Okay, so, do you believe in an afterlife?"

"No. Dead is dead, and the dead are gone, never to be seen again. Some disagree - some of those that disagree are interesting - but I didn't have any reason to believe in an afterlife until quite recently. Even then... I guess to me the fact that it's still possible to reach Kory means she isn't dead. As I said, dead is dead, and the dead don't talk."

"That is where you're wrong."

"She might be more dead than you or I am, but she's still alive, even if she's missing her body or whatever."

"'There is no death, there is the Force.'"

"And that means she isn't dead, doesn't it? At least, not to me."

"When we die, our spirit usually returns to the Force. Some exceptional Force users can retain their form in this realm as a ghost. But when you join the Force... you most likely lose the sense of yourself. I just..."
I take a shaky breath again.
"I just hope beyond hope that her consciousness remained in the Force. Because, when she died, she wasn't particularly strong in the Force..."

"If she has... do you think she could see you?"

"Probably."

"What would she think? Be honest."

I ponder her question for a moment where I remain quiet.
"I think... she would be very heartbroken by what happened to me, by what I had to do to survive for this long. And I hope that she'd be proud of what I achieved despite all of this. That she'd be happy I honoured our promise from all those years ago..."

"She would. I still don't think she would blame you if you gave up along the way, but I think she'd be very happy to see you had kept your promise, that you gave your all to find the good the world had in store for you - no matter how little was found. And she would do her best to try to make you happy again."
She slowly breathes out.
"And in her place, I'll do my best. I can do nothing less."

Hope swells in my chest.
"What, exactly, do you mean? Or rather, how do you intend to do that?"

"I... I don't really know yet. I can stick close for now, be there when you need me... but what else, I don't know yet. But I do know that you aren't going to leave this planet without hope to carry with you, given by any means necessary."

I squeeze her.
"Thank you, Leanna."

"If all I can be is someone to fill in the blanks for Kory for a little while, that's what I'll be. If what you need is a permanent friend, a million worlds seem like quite the place to explore. If I..."
She blushes.
"...find I can shine for you in ways I can't for anyone else, that's what you'll get. But one way or another, your luck is going to change, Xerath. I promised you that."

I blush as well.
"Thank you so much, Leanna."

Then, I glance up at her.
"But just one thing. Don't try to fill the blanks for Kory, or don't even think that I see you as a replacement or anything. I love you for who you are. When I look at you, I see you, and not a substitute for Kory. Alright?"

She smiles brightly at me.
"I didn't think so. I only observed that you had a type."

I shyly scratch my cheek. Or, well, I would, if I had a hand free.
"Yeah... seems like it. I also noticed a trend: Women that care about me as a person. Were somehow very rare."

My expression sobers a bit as I think back.
"Or, perhaps... perhaps I was just too blind to see it over the years. Too closed off that I didn't open my heart to anyone, automatically assuming that no one could even think about me in such a way..."

"So... what made it so easy for me, then? I didn't really have a chance to do much, I don't think."

I shrug, uncertain myself.
"To be honest, I'm not sure. Well, the way you immediately cared about me was a strong first step. And then, how we talked the entire time. Like, I feel completely at ease with you, when we talk about whatever. And, as I said, I somehow have a feeling like I've known you for years. I immediately felt a deep, fundamental trust in you, as I know that you won't betray it."

I look down.
"For more than a decade now, I've built walls around my heart and wore a mask - figuratively. I acted like the person everyone thought I would be, everyone needed me to be. But with you... for the first time since then, I feel comfortable in letting you look behind it. I feel comfortable with casting the mask aside for you. But why these emotions are so strong, or why they slapped me in the face like that, I do not know."

I then smile up at her.
"But I do know that I don't mind it. It's... kind of chaotic and whimsical, but at the same time, it's a really warm feeling. And as I said, it's really nice to think about the future and see something nice for a change."

"And what do you imagine might be in the future?"

I blush brightly as the thoughts from yesterday rush back.
"Well... us."

I'd scratch my cheek again if my arms weren't slung around her.
"And remember yesterday, when I needed some time away from you? I was... hit with a very peculiar thought out of the blue. About you. About us."

"Oh?"

"And... uhm... well... I'd think... You see, seeing you dote on Ceru got me thinking... and I'd think... you'll make a wonderful mother one day..."

"I see. Well, I'm glad you think I would. Others haven't, citing my involvement in the knighthood as making me a bad fit for motherhood."

I blink.
"Huh? What does one thing have to do with the other?"

"Well, noble ladies typically... don't follow my career path."

"Sounds familiar."
I frown.
"My interactions with nobles from my galaxy are a bit in the past, but from what I've seen, is that they're expected to basically stay at home and be a nice trophy wife. There are exceptions, but for the most part, that's what they've got. It's sickening me. Which is why I helped a friend out to... cancel her arranged marriage."

Thinking about her, I do wonder how Elaina Thul is doing. I haven't spoken to her in ages.

"As far as I can tell, this is residue from the days before civilization, where children and those carrying them were vulnerable. The logic is there, and has become more and more frayed the more the world changes."
She pauses.
"And yes, arranged, political marriages are common here, and they tend to run along patriarchal lines."

I exhale audibly.
"I don't have anything against political marriages in general - I've considered one myself, after all. However, arranged marriages, on the other hand, are absolutely disgusting. Often that goes against the wishes of the lady."

I tense and ball my fists tightly.
"That's eerily similar to slavery."

I spit the last word out with quite much venom.

I feel her relax slightly.
"Thank you..."

I blink.
"Huh? For what?"

"For your words. It's time for me to give you one of my secrets - though I don't think it's as important as the ones you've shared with me."
She sighs.
"My family doesn't know I'm a Mage-Knight. I followed this path to run from their plans for me, to live my life before it could be taken away."

I squeeze her tightly.

"I haven't been able to tell anyone this. They think I'm a researcher, not a knight. If they didn't, I would have to face them."

"That you saw yourself forced to do this is detestable. As in, how could your family push you so far that you saw this as your only option?"

"It wasn't my only option... I love doing this, it's just that the way I got here was... turbulent."

"I... may not have that much experience with the whole 'family' thing, but as far as I understand it, parents are supposed to provide a loving environment and support their child in whatever path it may take."
My eyes narrow.
"You are decidedly not some sort of political bargaining chip, to be married off when they deem fit. Your life is your own, they have no right to dictate it for you. No right whatsoever."

She nods.
"I fight because I have a right to raise my arms for what I believe in, same as anyone else."

She laughs slightly at another memory.
"And if I'm a better knight than you are, the solution is not for me to stop being a knight, Seward."

I raise a brow as I relax a bit as well.
"Hmm?"

"Oh, just some entitled brat that I beat out for a slot in the program. He was preeeeetty angry I was getting in and not him, so he challenged me to a duel, claiming that 'such a motherly and gentle lady does not belong in the knighthood'. He failed."
She smiles.
"He failed miserably."

I laugh lightly.
"I can imagine. Even though you are a gentle and motherly lady, you are also a fierce and highly competent warrior."

"And unlike how some people seem to think, the two aren't opposites that should be in different people. They help each other."

"Indeed. One thing doesn't rule out the other. On the contrary. Your caring nature makes you an excellent knight, I'd say."

I can feel her warmth in response to that, wrapping around me like a blanket. I close my eyes at the sensation, sighing happily.
Eventually, I open them again.
"Still, though. That you have a family but felt forced to run away from them... that doesn't bode well with me. Isn't there something we can do about that?"

She continues to gently hold me, rubbing my head and back with careful, beautiful attention.
"Not... right now. I don't think I'm ready to face them about this... I'll tell you when I am, okay?"

"Of course. It's just... don't they love you? I can't understand why they'd force you to do something like this against your will..."

"They do. It's just a matter of perspective. You know how a family will band together to prevent someone they love from killing themselves?"

"I... heard of it?"

"Right... well, if I were to reveal what I was doing, that's how they would react - as though my choices were physically and mentally harmful to my well-being."

"Ahh, I see. Well, your path certainly is not an easy one. Your injury is- was a testament to that. However, you are certainly capable of handling that, as far as I can judge that."

"Not quite. Yes, the dangers are a problem, but they see the activity itself as harmful to me - or at least more harmful than calming down and settling into the bed of the one they choose."

I blink.
"But don't they see how strong, intelligent, and independent you are?"

"They do. Those traits are negative."

My eye twitches.
"They most certainly are not."

"They don't think so. That's why I haven't talked to them about this yet."

"You are who you are. You have the wants and needs that you do. And your parent's job is to kriffing support you on the path you want to take."

"Xerath, I already agree with you - thank you for agreeing with me. But arguing with me about what parenting means won't change how my parents view it."

I exhale, letting my anger flow out.
"You're right. I'm sorry."

I feel her hand once again comb through my hair.
"It's alright. You're passionate. That's okay."

I close my eyes and sigh happily again. Though I idly wonder if she'll notice that despite her movement, the bang that covers half my face doesn't move all too much.
"It's just... I don't understand it. How could they do that? How can they think that forcing you down the path they want for you is the right thing to do?"

"Hmmm..."
She raises an eyebrow, but focuses on other things, guessing there's a reason.
"It's what they were taught. They learned that the men fought and the women cooked, and that disrupting this natural order led only to bad things. And I can't blame them for believing the lies they learned when they were young."

"Hmm... Well, however, whenever you want to face them, I'll be at your side and help you out however you want me to."

"Thank you."
The words drip with emotion, kindness and love and thanks that washes over my starved heart like an oasis over the lips of a parched man.

I can only lean a bit more into her.
"You're most welcome. It's sad to know you have a family, but you don't get along that well. So I'd like to help, in whatever capacity I may be able to. I want you to be happy, after all."

"Family is what you make of it, Xerath. I've found several families to call my own for a time."

I blink.
"Huh?"

"My parents may not truly accept me, but that doesn't mean I can't find people who do for a time. Sometimes they come and go, but I cherish the time they were there for."

I blink up at her, quite lost. Just what does she mean?
Her eyes shine mine, glistening brightly in the sun.
"My family is whoever happens to join me around the campfire, Xerath, not just the people who I happen to share blood with - in more ways than one."

I blush a bit.
"I... see."

Then, my brow furrows in thought.
"But still... the bond between a parent and a child is a special one, I think. So, if possible, I'd like to help you restore yours. Even if you found happiness despite it, I'm sure you'd be even happier if- no, when they'll finally accept you for who you are."

"I think I would be, so thank you. But don't forget that for now, you are family too."

I blink.
"I... I am?"

"If only for a little while, you have joined me on an adventure, to share life and its experiences with each other. To me, that makes you family, and I already see in you the potential to be a permanent fixture of the space around my little fire."

My blush becomes more prominent and my eyes glitter hopefully.
"Uhm... that... that means...?"

"It can mean whatever you want it to for now."
She says it with a smirk.
"But for me, it means that you are enjoyable to be around, and I wouldn't mind you staying a little longer."

"... I'm glad..."
I squeeze her a bit.

"And being like this is nice."

My blush is becoming rather fierce now.
"It certainly is. That you think so, too, makes me happy."

I look up at her with a dreamy look, as a certain picture comes back to my thoughts.
"... family..."

Only a short distance away is her smiling, radiant face, dusted by a light blush and - while clearly not yet in love - bearing a tremendous amount of love that seems to draw me in.
A moment later, some focus returns to my eyes and I smile up at her.
"You are a wonderful person, Leanna."

"So are you, Xerath."
Seeing how her light seems to thrum, she very much believes those words.

My heart skips a beat and my eyes widen.
"You... you really think so."

I then close my eyes and sigh happily.
"And you wonder why I fell in love with you so quickly."

She laughs slightly.
"I think I can see that."

Her eyes gleam.
"And I know you deserve to have someone to finally tell you that you are worth caring for."

I lean into her, completely at ease.
"It certainly is a welcome change. I think I could get used to it."

"You'll have plenty of time to."

It feels... it feels like my heart is held in her hands, and she is gently rubbing it with her thumb.
I can only sigh happily.
"That sounds nice."

Once again, there is silence, broken only by the almost hypnotic sound of her breath in my ears. I find myself almost getting lost in that sound when a particular thought crosses my mind.
"So... uhm... am I right to assume that you don't have someone special waiting for you, then? With what you told me about your family and all..."

"You mean like a husband?"

"Yes. Or, what's the term when you're in a relationship but not married? Boyfriend?"

"Yes, that. No, I'm not seeing anyone in that way."

"As relieving as that is, may I ask how that comes? A woman as stunning as you are must have suitors lining up already..."

Her cheeks warm.
"A little, but not as much as you seem to think. I've considered it at times, and some of them have been good people I've cared for, but for a long time I just... haven't been ready, I guess. Besides, doing something like that would be another big thing to argue with my parents about if I ever get around to it. It will be bad enough that I'm 'wasting the best years of my life', but if they then learn I've been acting like some 'harlot' and 'giving my affections so freely out of wedlock', I'm not sure what will happen."

"Oh dear..."
I squeeze her again.

"They already found that I was too liberal with my affection while I was with them - the stuff I do when they aren't looking would be court gossip for months. I mean, hugging someone who isn't an Esarian noble?"
She looks mock shocked.
"HOW SCANDALOUS!"

I chuckle.
"Oh no! Whatever shall we do?"

"Point is, I've been far from the neat little showpiece they think I'm supposed to be. I don't really want to give them more ammunition."
She smiles at me.
"But don't fret. I could be tempted under the right circumstances."

I blush again. She seems to have a talent for that.
"I see... And what... would be 'the right circumstances'?"

"You'll have to figure those out yourself."

I sigh.
"I thought you'd say that."

I then smile up at her.
"Still though, I wonder what your parents would think when you come back as a decorated Mage-Knight courting the emperor of another world."

"I'd love the looks of surprise on their faces."

I furrow my brows.
"I mean, from their point of view, you couldn't possibly score higher than me, right?"

"Probably not. But I'd rather not cheat."

"Hm? Cheat? How?"

"If we do get to do that, I'd want to try and get them to be okay with you before we tell them who you are."

I nod.
"Yeah, makes sense. I also thought that it might be best not to tell everyone who I really am. I mean, it doesn't matter much here anyway."

Then, I blink as I realise something, before smiling widely.
"But that you think so far ahead..."

"I am willing to consider hypotheticals. In the time before I was free to explore, all I had to explore were dreams. Exploring that dream with you was fun."

My face falls.
"Yeah, I know that feeling..."

Then, I blush again.
"I... I see..."

She smiles brightly at me.

"I concur... and I hope, that this dream may become reality..."

"Maybe it will, Xerath."

I smile up at her warmly, my eyes brimming with affection I didn't even know I was still capable of. And as she smiles, I see how her lips appear as they move, so full, bearing a slight natural pink colour. They, like every other part of her that I have seen, are lovely, and I idly wonder what it will be like to kiss them. As that thought crosses my mind, my cheeks feel ablaze and I force myself to tear my gaze away.
But she continues to smile at me, tending to my inner turmoil without care for what it is - she cares only that it exists, and therefore it deserves her attention.

I clear my throat.
"Ahem. So, uhm, I've been wondering... when did you begin with sword training?"

"With my older brother. He knew I really wanted to try it out, and started training with me without my parents knowing."

"Oh? You have a brother, too?"
I smile.
"That sounds like you get along with him, at least."

"Leon was always quite good to me. We did grow up together, after all."

"I'm glad to hear that. But still, you haven't exactly answered my original question."

"I started when I was eight."

"Woah. That is really early. Or, at least I think it is. Is that early for your world?"

"Not really."

"Huh. Well, that certainly decks out with my observations, then."

"Which observations?"

"That you have dedicated at least a decade to your swordsmanship. And that, coupled with how young you still are, led me to assume that you must've started when you were still a child."

"I see. Do swordsmen typically start their training later in your galaxy?"

"Usually yes. The reason is that most swordsmen are Force users, and most Force users are only found at a later age. But for families of known Force users, their training begins much sooner, of course."

"Interesting. Does that mean that Force abilities are at least partially inherited?"

"It can be, but it isn't necessary. For example, you could come from some simple family on some backwater planet and be Force-sensitive, or you can be born to a Force user and be not Force-sensitive."

"But then why train the children as though they are more likely to be?"

"Oh. No, I meant that when they are confirmed. Also, of course, there are other societies that handle things completely different, most notably the Mandalorians. With them, everyone's a warrior, so Force sensitivity is not a requirement at all for martial training."

"Ah."

"But personally, I believe that children should be allowed to be children. Playing around and enjoying their days while they're being taught how the world works. To give them martial training... I don't know. In your case it's alright, since it's something you wanted to do... but still."

"Back then, I suppose it was just playing for me. Playing at heroism."

"Well, and now you've become a real one."

"Well, I do what I love."

"I can tell."

She smiles at me, which I return.

"You seem a lot more cheery now. Feel better?"

"Lots. You are quite comfortable."

She giggles.
"I'm glad you think so. I hope you know I'm always there for you, so if you need this again, just ask."

I smile up at her with pure affection.
"Thank you, Leanna."

"No problem."

She makes no move to leave, waiting for me to decide whether I am done.

"Do you... want me to stop hugging you now?"

"Only if you don't need any more."

"Well, I don't need any more, but I'd certainly enjoy it."

"Alright, then have what you like. I don't mind."

I sigh happily as I continue to hug her.
"As a side note, since I'm not sure if you're aware, but nobody else sees us like this."

"I figured, actually. You didn't seem like the person who wanted to show this to everyone. Didn't know how, but you wouldn't do this in public, so something is going on."

I nod.
"Indeed. I feel comfortable with letting my guard down around you, but only you. As for the how, a simple optical illusion."

"You honour me with your trust, Xerath."

"And you honour me with your care, Leanna."
I smile up at her again.

"I am glad."

"I love you."

She jumps slightly at the affirmation, but continues to hold me. I look up at her from her shoulder with tinted cheeks, and adoration as plain as the day is on my face. She blushes back, but holds my gaze with a tender, nurturing care in her eyes.
My gaze turns dreamily as I begin to get lost in her wonderfully radiant eyes.
She beams gently at me, blindingly beautiful and dim enough to sink into - a pure and perfect mix of light and dark. She is like a shining star of discerning judgement, lighting up the world around and yet also not so bright as to burn like the suns of Tatooine. No, within her heart is both warming light and cooling shade - an all-encompassing, nourishing love that promises nothing less than absolute peace and burning passion, blessed stability and pleasant surprise. She is like a fire that burns all around me now, licking at my fingertips and mind yet damaging nothing, merely bathing me in omnipresent warmth.
I can merely sigh happily as I enjoy this experience. Never before was I as grateful for my heightened senses as I am in this moment. And so I nuzzle into her, perfectly at ease in her embrace.
My voice still has something distant, dreamily to it.
"You're wonderful..."

She rubs a thumb along my spine.
"If the universe intends to pay you back for everything it's done to you, I dearly hope it has more than me. But I'll do my best. You deserve to hope again."

Both her action and her words snap me back into reality, focus returning to my eyes.
"But you seem like everything I ever wished for. Like everything I ever wanted."

"Surely... no matter how good I am, I cannot make up for what happened to you?"

I shrug.
"I never wished for much. You know, ever since I was little, I had but one dream. I wanted to settle down on some idyllic, remote planet, living a self-sustaining life with a cute girl, maybe start a family. Back then, I thought it'd be Kory, but..."

I take a breath, then smile sadly.
"A simple dream, but impossible for me all the same."

"That's a beautiful wish, Xerath."

I smile, this time without sadness.
"Thank you."

Then once more I blush.
"And now, you're part of this dream."

She smiles softly, continuing to hold me, and I sigh again, happily relaxing in her embrace. We continue to float along, and I'm glad Leanna trusts me enough to let me do that. Makes it much easier and much more comfortable to level us out, given how I'm a head taller than her.
Leanna jiggles her feet happily. It appears that she's enjoying the idea of floating.
I smile at her just as happy.
"You seem to enjoy yourself."

"When else will I get the chance to really fly?"

"Whenever you want?"

"Oh?"

I shrug. Has she already forgotten I'm a god?
"All you need to do is ask."

She smiles at me with absurd adorability, and I am instantly rewarded for my offer.

I return her smile whilst blushing brightly. What else am I supposed to do in the face of such cuteness?
"I may haven't done that personally, yet, but that goes for most my powers. So, whenever you want to, we could fly a bit."

"That sounds awesome. I can kind of do it with Wind magic, but it's really exhausting. Mostly I just jump really well."

"Yeah. You'd need a lot of energy to create enough lift to really let you fly for a substantial amount of time, I presume."

"Yes. I can do single pushes a lot easier, which is why my battle magic mostly consists of throwing things and myself around. And occasionally lightning."

"I see. Yeah, makes sense. Actually, while we're on that topic, I thought about something. Or rather two somethings."

"Yes, Xerath?"

"Given how well our spar this morning went, and given your expression, you enjoyed it as much as I did, I wondered if you'd be interested in doing that again, but with magic included? Of course, I'd limit myself to only things an Acolyte or apprentice could do."

"I think we could do that. I just wanted a quick way to limit your abilities down to something I could fight."

I nod.
"That's understandable. However, I'm not much of a fighter already, and my most trained style of sword fighting focuses on the interweaving of Force techniques. Which, thus, was largely ineffective during our spar."

"Interesting. Sounds like the big problem for me will be approaching you then."

I smirk lightly.
"Probably. Though it would be boring to just throw stones and lightning at you, so I would go more with my assassin training than with my sorcerer training."

"I suppose, though dodging attacks like that could be interesting. I wonder what kind of pull Wind magic will have on your lightning if it's infused with a different kind of magic?"

"Good question, actually. Would be interesting to look into that. So, yeah, if you want to, we could do something like that, too. Me just throwing ranged attacks at you for you to dodge."

"It could be fun if I had something to throw back. Maybe I will pick up a ranged weapon when we get back to the Academy?"

I frown in mild disdain.
"Do what you think suits you best."

She notices easily.
"Do you think there is a problem with the weapon?"

"Not necessarily. It's just... I'm not that much of a fan of blasters. I don't want to sound like a snob, but I think that something like a sword is much more elegant."

"Elegance doesn't save lives, Xerath. Besides, I don't have the luxury of a light sword that cuts through anything. As lovely as this weapon is-"
She lifts her blade.
"It is a duelling weapon, and against the scales of - say - a war wyrm, it can do little."

I tilt my head.
"Do you want a lightsaber, then?"

I would be thrilled to craft her one. My greatest masterpiece to come, nothing else would be becoming for her.
But she shakes her head.
"I don't... think so. At least, not as long as we're keeping a low profile."

"Yeah, fair enough."

"And even then, I would prefer something metal, though having a better metal would be nice."

"Your metal is actually pretty good. The way it's forged with the help of magic makes it quite decent, even to my galaxy's standards. Still though... I'm not a fan of blasters. When two swordsmen clash, it's a test of strength, wits, will, and skill. But when two people using blasters face each other, the one with the better gear usually wins. Using a blaster just takes considerably much less training and skill than a melee weapon."

"I think the corps of Volley Knights and the Royal Rangers would disagree with you on that."

"Oh, you can train to use them to high efficiency, for sure, but generally, not so much."

"Both blasters and swords can be used by the incompetent - for many millennia, the core of Esarian armies has been comprised of blades and spears. Both are simple to use, but the feats of marksmanship and combat I've seen from trained Mage-Knights wielding both are awe-inspiring."

"Perhaps I'd have to witness such a Knight myself, then, before I can change my mind. It's just... I used to use a blaster as well, when I was a child. It's just... so easy to use. You point the business end in the direction of your enemy and pull the trigger. Of course, to witness highly trained marksmen in action is nice to watch, but a trained Force user has no use for them."

"Remind me, Xerath. What does a Force user use to keep up with blasters?"

"Come again? You mean as ranged attacks?"

"Yes. And as their ability to fight in a war that contains mostly them."

"Well, Sith mainly use lightning, and Jedi mainly focus on telekinesis and telekinetics. Warriors, however, seek the melee, and often throw their saber before jumping towards their enemies."

"And to prevent themselves from dying to a preemptive shot?"

"They have the reflexes to either dodge them or block them."

"We don't. If I don't see a discharger shot coming - or worse, a handcannon round - all that can stop it are the wards on my armour."

"Right... You can't access the energy within you, for some reason... But that's really weird. Like, Force-sensitives naturally have increased reflexes... I wonder..."
I then shake my head.
"Eh, no matter. We'll get there eventually."

"What was it you were thinking about?"

"Checking if you really don't have the instincts you should have as a Force user. But since that would require me to part from your embrace, I filed that for a bit later."

She laughs.
"I suppose so."

I smile. Her laugh is as pure and beautiful as the rest of her.
"And, well, as for your next weapon to master, go with what you feel is right. I may not like blasters that much, but that's just my own opinion. It is neither my place nor my intention to talk you off of using a gun."

"I still need to think about it a bit. In order for this to work, the new weapon should cover some blind spot in my capabilities. Currently, as you saw, I am good on the duelling front and am quite effective at moving through a large number of lightly-armoured combatants. My main weaknesses are heavy armour or the hides of monsters, and range. The former is my weapon choice, the latter a combination of that and the fact that I chose Wind as my element."

I blink.
"But... wind should be exceptional at range."

"Why? I can throw things, yes, but not well enough for it to really count for that sort of thing. And that depends on me having something to throw."

"True. But have you considered condensed air?"

"I do use that. It has its uses, but isn't as good as throwing something generally."

"Hmm. Then perhaps you're not pressurising it enough? But true, a pressurised water jet or throwing flames would be more effective as ranged options..."

"And not half as good as a handcannon."

"Now that's wrong."

"Are you sure?"

"In regards to fireballs, perhaps. But pressurised water jets can easily pack much more of a punch than a gun. Same thing for telekinetics and condensed air."

"Flashammers are by far some of the most powerful close-range weapons on Terra."

I just arc a brow up at her.

"The ones wielded by Mage Knights outstrip all but the mightiest displays of magic. Remember how I said I could use lightning occasionally?"

"Yeah?"

"Handcannon - or the small ones typically carried by dual-weapon Mage-Knights called Flashammers - typically hit harder than a thunderbolt."

My brows furrow in thought.
"That... should be impos- actually, do you know what lightning is, exactly? How it is generated?"

"Well... in nature, there is something like a fluid that fills up clouds. It builds up as a result of the winds and the water in them, and if there is enough of it, it can spill over as lightning."

"Hmm..."

"To generate a bolt of lightning by magic, you do something similar - use your spellcraft to create a difference in the amount of this fluid which fills two areas - one of which is typically by your manipulator for convenience, but with extra energy investment it can be somewhere else. Once the difference is enough, the fluid will naturally spill between the locations, and lightning occurs."

I sigh.
"That is correct enough to work but vague enough to be weakened. I assume that, since your magic is based on observing and imitating the world around you, your limited understanding of lightning and electricity causes your spells in that field to be much weaker than they should be."

"Alright, but I didn't say Flashammers are weaker than my lightning."

"Oh?"

"As lightning naturally gathers in a way we understand, we can direct where it goes when it forms naturally as well, which is useful in some situations. This form of directed natural lightning has been observed to have less of an effect on several monstrous creatures than Flashammer rounds, which tend to be able to punch through any armour or hide we have yet discovered - though it hasn't yet been tested against a few."

"Ah. Well, I'd assume that it could go down to the inherent properties of electricity, and lightning in particular. Depending on the hide of the monstrous creatures."

"Perhaps. Some of those monsters had metallic hides, but perhaps."

"Especially then. Electricity always seeks the way of lowest resistance towards the ground. If the monster has a metallic hide, the electricity would pass through the conductive metal and surge into the ground, leaving the monster relatively unharmed."

"Ah, that makes sense, but only some monsters had such a defence."

"Well, it could also be that other hides actually act isolating. In that case, they'd only have to worry about the heat of the lightning strike. Electricity is a complex topic, and a lot of things influence it."

"We have learned that much at least."

"However, I concede that for the hunt on monsters, ranged weapons are very much preferable."

"And against heavily-armoured people."

"Eh."

"Against Mage-Knight armour, handcannon deliver the most concussive force of any mundane weapon."

"Ah, right, you wouldn't have dampeners... Only your gambeson can absorb kinetic force, right?"

"Yes, and the armour's magical properties. Even if the round doesn't penetrate, it's likely to do serious damage."

"Yeah... Well, if you want to learn it, then go for it."
Even if I may dislike blasters and slugthrowers, I smile encouragingly at her. This is not about my preferences, but hers, after all.

"Of course. I'm just wondering about other options. The other two I'm considering are warhammers and bows."

"Warhammers were these weird hammers that have a much too small head to actually be called hammers, right?"

"Weird description, but sure. Why would their heads be bigger?"

"Well, usually, hammers have a large head to make aiming easier. But at the same time, they're just tools for us, not weapons."

"I see. Warhammers are a bit of a different concept than that. They are puncturing weapons, designed to punch through armour by maximizing pressure over a small area."

"I see... that concept makes sense, yeah."

"In a sense, handcannon work on the same principle, but instead of using your arms, an explosive does the work. But I'm getting off track. As for bows, you seem to recognize them."

I nod.
"Well, yeah. I mentioned before that I've read about a planetary society of Force users that use energy bows to terrifying efficiency. Based on the description and the pictures, it's an elegant weapon, requiring finesse to use properly."

I smile.
"I could actually picture you really well using such a weapon."

She laughs.
"What on Terra do you mean? Bows requiring elegance?"

"No, Bows are elegant, and require finesse to use."

She shakes her head and becomes more serious.
"No. To use a bow with skill requires finesse. To use a bow requires only strength of arm and shoulder. You... aren't aware of how bows are used in Esarian war, are you?"

"Yes. But when you use a weapon, I assume that you'll use it with skill. And no, I'm not aware how they are used in your war."

"I want you to imagine a block of bowmen, many of them in neat rows on a battlefield."

I frown.
"And all of them fire simultaneously?"

"Each of them, in drilled unison, draw their weapons and fire in an arc, sending a storm of arrows flying towards an enemy position. And hundreds are cut down at once."

"Then I assume you don't have heavy artillery. Or ballistic shields. I mean, one wind mage should be able to effectively block all incoming arrows."

"Shields we have, and if you're lucky the arrows won't reach you through it. Wind mages are an effective defence, but what do you do when the enemy Wind mage is supporting their archers?"

I arc a brow.
"I'd suppose it is more difficult for the mage to boost the arrows individually than it is to create a swirling mass of air."

"You don't need to boost the arrows individually. Just counter the mass of air. Or create a gust that affects them all at once."

"Well, then it's down to the better mage."

"Exactly, but even the better mage will not win every time. Or against many staggered volleys."

I just sigh. Our methods of warfare can't quite be compared, it seems.
"I suppose I should be glad that you're still so far behind in technology, that killing each other is still so inefficient..."

"So no, I would not say there is an elegance to bows, or to any weapon really."

I look down, holding her tighter just a bit.

"In my opinion, there is murder, and there are many ways of achieving it. My hope is to select a weapon that - should I be required to kill - will allow me to minimize the pain of my victims."
She sighs.

I run a hand over her back.
She smiles slightly in response.
"Don't worry. I understand my calling."

"Still, though, I do worry."

"Yes?"

"Taking a life is never easy... unless you do it often enough. At some point, it becomes scarily easy. And I think that you're still far from that point away. So, if possible, I'd like to help ease your burden."

"And how do you intend to do that?"

"I don't know. By making sure that you won't be forced to take a life in the future?"

"I... I would appreciate that, but how would you do that?"

"Either knocking the enemies out myself... or taking the burden upon myself."

"Xerath, dead is dead. I'll feel bad either way."

"I know. Even so, though, I rather kill an enemy that has made the choice to stand before me than to mess with their head."

"Huh?"

I scowl.
"The so-called 'Jedi Mind-Trick'. The Jedi often use it to spare the lives of others. It works by clouding the thoughts of a weaker-minded person, effectively overriding their decisions."

"That sounds awful."

I clench my fists.
"How they can call that a Light sided technique is beyond me. Of course, they think themselves on the moral high ground, so their decisions to have enemies stand down or do whatever are obviously the right ones and never wrong. So, when I face an enemy, the least I can do is to acknowledge their determination and grant them a swift death. Because I will not invade their minds just so I don't have to fight them."

"Why not just knock them out?"

"And, well, just knocking them out with enough concussive force would work, but as I told you, I've seen way too often how mercy on the battlefield backfires catastrophically."

"Is it possible to hold a person in unconsciousness for a time?"

"By focusing on them somewhat, kind of. So, that's pretty much useless on a chaotic battlefield."

"Perhaps..."

I mumble something under my breath.
"And even then, keeping captives wasn't always a good choice, either..."

My eyes glaze over as I stare into the distance.
"It sounds like your world's type of warfare is vastly different from mine... Just the core remains the same: people killing each other over stupid reasons..."

She nods, and I hug her tighter.
"I don't want to be a part of it anymore... never wanted to be in the first place..."

"You just want to help people, and to survive."

I nod.
"I am a pacifist. I abhor violence. Always had... I'm a peaceful man, but I do what I must..."

"War makes monsters out of many. Never the ones that still regret. The ones that can never make peace with what they've done... are the ones that can't stop themselves from caring, I think."

"Or just have a completely different mentality."

"Well, we have the same mentality, then."

I smile weakly.
"I think so."

That smile quickly fades, though.
"So you, too, regret every life you had to take, hm?"

"I write them down. Whatever I know about them - hopefully a name, but if not then whatever I can. And when I get a moment, I try to remember them all."

I squeeze her.
"That is admirable."

"The monsters too - the ones that have the spark in them that tells me they feel fear, and pain. I hope that if I do this... I won't add to the list if I don't have to."

I run a hand comfortingly over her back.
"You truly are a wonderful, kindhearted person."

"...thank you..."
She smiles at me.
"I'm glad you think so. Most of the conversations I've had about the little book have been when someone read it without my permission thinking it was a diary or something silly like that."

"Now, I wouldn't call a diary a silly thing, but I get your point."

She laughs lightly.
"Then they found this extremely long list of names and while reprimanding them for going through someone else's things I had to explain what they had found."

I smile at her curiously.

"And why it wasn't a hit list or something."

"I see... And... what were their reactions, if I may ask?"

"I don't know why they're so worried. After all, I am such an unreasonably caring being - how could I ever hide something so terrible behind such a veneer?"
Her eyes glint with a spark of mischief.
"Their worries would usually go away after a few days, but I'll admit it was fun to mess with them in retaliation for snooping around in my things. And then I'd buy them ice cream as an apology."

I arc a brow.
"Why would you apologise to them when they breached your privacy, though?"

"For messing with them. I thought that it was a good idea to show them an example of good behaviour."

I just shake my head bemusedly.
"Yeah, that sounds quite like you."

"But in order to apologize, I needed something to apologize for."
She smirks.
"And that's where the fun begins. So I do something silly that worries them at the time, and then apologize for it by paying someone for making good ice cream. And now we can laugh about the time when he looked at my 'diary' instead of feeling awkward about it."

I sigh happily.
"I don't know how this world deserved you, but you are undoubtedly a very, very incredible person. That there is so much thought behind your kindness as well is impressive, to say the least. But you keep mentioning this 'ice cream'. What is it?"

"Oh!"
She smiles.
"It's a cold, sugary dessert that's soft and melts in your mouth. It's very good for hot days. It comes in a bunch of flavours, too."

"I see..."
Sounds somewhat familiar. I think I had a dream about something like that once.

"Doesn't sound interesting to you?"

I shrug.
"Food generally doesn't."

"Oh? Why is that?"

I shift a bit.
"I... never was really able to choose my diet, I guess. After years of... uhm... living together with other species, I got used to filling but bland food. After that, I just lost most sense of taste and ate whatever I could get."

"Oh... that's unfortunate."

"Hmm... maybe I could word that better. It's not that I lost my sense of taste, not really. I can still taste just fine. It's more that I don't really care about taste anymore. Perhaps that also has something to do with my mutations, which turned me into an omnivore."

She raises an eyebrow.
"Omnivore means that you can eat either plants or animals. Humans are already omnivores..."

"I mean it in the sense that I can literally eat anything."

"Oh."
She seems surprised.

"I don't really know a better word to describe it, aside from that. For example, I could eat your sword. Or mine. Or that tree over there. I just prefer not to. Draws too much attention."

"I can see that. I wonder what would happen if you ate a crystal..."

"You see, food is just a necessity for me. Something my body requires to function. As such, I'm content as long as it's filling and providing me with energy."
I wince as I think about her question.
"Usually problems with my digestive system."

She seems deep in thought.

"I was curious about that, too, and tried it out with one of our crystals. I could absorb some energy, but my digestive system was not happy, I tell you."

"Hmmm... Did you ever have a meal you enjoyed?"

"As far as I can remember, not really. In my childhood, there were some things I preferred over the other, but I think that wouldn't classify as 'enjoying' them."

"Aww..."
I can see her steel herself.
"I'm going to try to find you something you like, okay?"

I smile warmly.
"You are welcome to try."

She returns the smile.

"To return to our previous topic, though, you didn't really tell me what the others thought about your sentiment with the book. Or is that something you aren't comfortable with?"
I look a bit worried at her.

"Some thought it was weird, some forgot, only a few really got it on the level where they could understand how much it meant to me. And for at least one person, the combination of me catching him going through my things and acting in a bit too sweet a fashion resulted in him asking for reassignment..."
She looks sheepish.
"I still feel bad about that one, but he didn't return my apology letter..."

I furrow my brow.
"But why are there seemingly so many people that go through your stuff? Is that normal in your world?"

"It's not... I'm not sure why."

"Do you think they searched for something certain in particular?"

"Maybe, but what they were searching for I'm not sure. Maybe they thought I was hiding something?"

"Hmm... Say... how was your relationship with the people that blatantly breached your privacy like that?"
I speak with a certain disdain.

"They tended to be fairly awkward around me, but other than that nothing really stuck out."

I raise a brow.
"Awkward? But you are so comfortable to be around..."

Then, my eyes narrow slightly as I get a suspicion.
"Say, how old were they?"

"About my age. Why?"

"And how old were you at that time?"

"About my age."

"Okay, so it happened until recently, got it."
I hum in thought, and I would be cupping my chin in the manner I always do, if my arms weren't firmly snaked around her.
"And you said it were always men?"

"Almost always."

I arc a brow.
"So a few girls, too?"

"Yes."

I look her up and down, then shrug.
"Yeah, can't blame them... And, you said they mostly assumed that they found your diary, right?"

"Yes, that's what they said they were looking for."

I arc a brow again, a bit surprised.
"Then why didn't you say so in the beginning? I explicitly asked you if you knew what they were looking for."

She sighs.
"I guess I didn't."

I blink.
"You didn't what?"

"Think of that bit when you asked."

"Ah. I see."
Then, I look back up at her with a small smile.
"That's okay. Now, I think I have enough information to draw a conclusion. Do you, too?"

"Not really."

"Well, I think the list of your suitors is longer than you think, after all."

She blinks.
"Huh? How does that follow?"

"Well, why would - mostly guys - be awkward around you when you are that approachable? And why would they feel the need to search for your diary where they could read what you think - preferably what you think about them? The answer is easy: They were smitten with you."

She blushes and looks away.
"Uhhh..."

So adorable.
"You are an incredibly kind and caring woman, and really gorgeous to boot. I was certain that I wasn't the only one that could see that."

Her cheeks heat further, seeming to warm the air around the two of us. I grow silent, allowing her the time to absorb this new realisation, while I continue to hug her comfortingly, mirroring the movements she had done with me. At least those on the back.

After a moment, she speaks up again.
"I feel terrible..."

I blink.
"Huh? Why?"

"To inspire... that in so many people, only to never reciprocate..."
Her cheeks are still red, but she looks down.
"They must've tried so hard to get me to notice them, and I never did..."

"Hey, it's not your fault. How people feel about you is not your responsibility. You are an amazing person, an amazing woman. That there are people who fall for you is to be expected, to be honest. However, you can't be expected to reciprocate the feelings of everyone who thinks of you in that way. And if they didn't get you to notice them, then they didn't do a good job, to be frank. I mean, if they were really serious about you, if they really would have treasured you, they would have told you instead of disregarding your privacy like that and snoop around your things to search for your diary."

"But they still deserve something, don't they? Some acknowledgement?"

"Possibly. But if you didn't notice their advances, it can't be helped, can it?"

She still seems disappointed.
"Then... I should've been better at noticing them, shouldn't I?"

"That's not on you. If they want you to notice, to know, then they've got to tell you. How else are you supposed to convey your feelings, if you don't converse them properly?"

"Yeah..."

"For example, I love you. I was certain of this, and because I thought it was too soon, I tried to keep it to myself. But since you asked in that direction, I told you anyways. Though these feelings are my own. You are not required to return them."

"I know, but... I don't feel the need to reciprocate, just to let them know they're heard."

"If they want to be heard, they've got to speak up first."

"I didn't hear you before asking you."

"Precisely. I had to speak up for you to hear me. I wanted to do that a bit later, when you'd have gotten to know me better, but it was my plan all along to tell you how I feel about you."

"But to hear you I had to notice... which I did... for all of them... and I asked them about why..."
Her eyes widen.
"It's just... most of them just got really embarrassed and told me it was nothing, and they were just curious."

"Would they really breach a person's privacy like that if 'it was nothing' and if 'they were just curious'?"

"I don't know... other than them, I haven't had much of a chance to be around people outside the nobility."

I sigh and squeeze her.
"Leanna, you can't be expected to pick up on every person's feelings. You're just... so caring, almost too caring. It seems to go to the point where you blame yourself for things that really are not your fault."

She frowns slightly.
"I'm sorry..."

"See what I mean?"

"Whu?"

I chuckle softly at her adorable expression.
"You do it again. You blame yourself for something that isn't your fault and apologise for it."

I smile warmly up at her.
"You are who you are, Leanna, and you are wonderful."

She smiles slightly.
"But in the end, this happens to them because I'm so kind... and, in your words, 'gorgeous'."

"Yes. You are a very desirable woman."

She blushes again.
"Suuuuure..."

I just smile up at her, earnestly and lovingly.

"But this happens because of that, right?"

"I suppose."

"So... that makes it my fault."

I can only sigh at that.
"Leanna. It is not your fault if someone likes the way you look, or the manner in which you behave. You are who you are, some people will like you for it, some people will not like you for it, and some people will love you for it - me included. But that holds true for whatever type of person you are. That is the thing with emotions: we are not responsible for how others feel about us."

"But... I feel like I should be. What if the way they feel as a result of me not even acknowledging them hurts them?"
She looks over at me.
"If I hadn't prodded you, how long would you have stewed in your head? How terrible would it be?"

"Until I felt the right time to tell you. A week, perhaps? A month? I'd have picked a time where we know each other better and I feel like my chances are good that you'd accept and return my feelings."

"But in the meantime, how would you have felt?"

"Uncertain, probably. Because these feelings are rather new to me, and especially strong. I would have made small gestures along the way that show that I care about you, probably feel slightly disheartened when they end up being too subtle, and then continue on. The bottom line is, that if you want your feelings to be heard, then you've gotta tell them. These others may have hoped that you'd notice their feelings, but they didn't tell you about them, either. Not even when you gave them the chance to explain themselves. I repeat myself by now, but you cannot be expected to notice everything."

She smiles and hugs me close.
"I'm glad you told me."

I blink, then smile as I happily accept her affectionate embrace.
"Me too. And besides, I'd tell you everything. As I mentioned before, I never lie. And I also want to provide answers when asked. So, I'd either tell you that I don't want to talk about a certain topic or provide the answer to your question. But given how at ease I feel with you, the first option will probably be rather rare."

"Oh?"

I just nod.
"Mhm."

She merely closes her eyes and smiles at me. Such radiant beauty. I snuggle into her a bit more, moving my hand over her back.

She opens her eyes eventually, and there is a curiosity in them.
"Actually, since you say that, I can learn some things."

"Of course."

"I was wondering about what people who are together do. So, if I were to say yes to you right now, what would you want to do?"

I look away shyly.
"To be honest, my knowledge on this topic is rather limited. I had thought of things like hugging you, and... holding your hand..."

By now my cheeks are alight brightly.
"... and perhaps... even... kiss you..."

"Oh..."
She blushes back.
"I was thinkingmorelikeotherthings- uhhh... more like more general spending time together?"

I nod slightly.
"That too... I think... that the most important part in a romantic relationship is to be comfortable spending time around each other - with each other."

I glance up at her shyly.
"And honestly? I think I'd have fun with everything as long as it's with you..."

"... that doesn't really help at all..."

I look down.
"I'm sorry... I... I really don't know much about romance. All I know is what I've heard or seen from people around me. And how applicable that is to our situation, I don't know."

"But that's okay. If it comes down to it, we'll both have fun learning."

I perk up a bit again.
"Oh. Yeah, that's for certain."

She smiles.
"Good."

"So, for now, I'm mainly running on feelings regarding this topic. So, for me, it's not really the thought about certain activities I'd like to do with you like a checklist, but the general desire to spend time together with you. Preferably just the two of us, without me having to cast an illusion around us."

She nods.
"I think that would be fun."

I close my eyes and relax against her.
"I'm glad you think so."

"I just hope I can make you happy in the end. You deserve it. You deserve so much."

I open my eyes again to look up at her.
"Leanna. You already make me happier than I've ever been. Just having you in my life is an unimaginable boon."

"I just... I can't believe you went so long without someone in your life who cared about you."

"Well, I do believe that there are some people that care about me... but not in the same way you do, and certainly not to that extent."

"People need many kinds of care. That you went without the ones I provide is... heartbreaking."

"Well, it's understandable, given my situation. I mean... y'know... with me being basically the superior to everyone around me... I'm their boss. And even if they like me, and I like them, that fact always hovers in the room, unspoken, and keeps us at a distance..."

She looks at me with a passion in her eyes.
"I know it's understandable, but it still sucks! You deserve it as much as anyone else, and that you went without it for so long means I need to make up for lost time somehow. Happier than you've ever been in your life isn't good enough."

I get drawn into her eyes again. They shine brighter than the purest sapphire.
"Well, technically, you don't need to. However, that's undeniably you. And you're right in the assessment that 'happier than I've ever been' isn't that much of a bar..."

"What I need from you are new records in happiness if I want a chance at making up for all the suffering you've endured."

That her love for everything is so deep that she'd see the weight of my pain... as a challenge - as a chance to do even more good... it makes me feel. It makes me feel a lot, knowing that Leanna intends to dive headfirst into my soul and heal me, without regard for how long it will take.
I blush, abashed by her care.
"Just... just how far are you willing to go for me?"

"A long way, Xerath. A long way. You deserve nothing less."
A hand moves through my hair. I close my eyes and lean into her touch. A strange- alien kind of rumble resounds from my throat. It almost sounds like some sort of purring.
In response, I feel her smile, the sensation of pure, incandescent warmth all over my body as her light tries its hardest to reach out from the cage inside her, trying to touch me.

"Huh..."
I look up at her through half-lidded eyes, my cheeks flushed.
"I think that if anyone can heal the damages I suffered, it will be you."

She narrows her eyes slightly, before scratching my head gently. I lean into it again, fully closing my eyes, and sigh contently. She might not be the best at this, but she learns quickly - and her care seeps through her touch thanks to my ability to sense her emotional state. It is readily apparent that even a professional couldn't make me feel this good. But I knew that much before. It has to be her.
She seems very pleased when the purring noise returns. And as she hits a spot that feels particularly good, that purring hitches into something more akin to insectoid chittering.

"Aww..."
She continues to scritch, doing everything in her power to comfort me.
Doing this, it doesn't take long for her to have a Xerath shaped puddle molten to her side. I am perfectly at ease with her, comfortable to accept her caring touch.

"You look so cute like that..."
More scritching, more love, more of her. She is so close, only a few layers of cloth and metal away, doting on me.

I can't muster up more than a weak voice of mild protest.
"I'm not cute, I'm deadly..."

Then, I blink as I realise something.
"Wait a moment. Did you just call me cute? You? Calling me cute?"

"The two aren't opposites, Xerath. You can be deadly, but you're also cute. Especially like this."
She blinks.
"Uhh, yes?"

I smile widely as I blush.
"You think I'm cute..."

"Of course, Xerath. You looked so happy. You sounded and felt happy, too."

"Well, I suppose that is because I am happy. Because you make me happy."

"Exactly. And it was fun, and you were cute."

"Soo, now I'm no longer cute?"

"You are, just not as much."

"Huh."

"I'd like to see you like that more often."

"Well, then I guess that you'll have to spoil me like that more often."
She almost seems to glow with happiness. If this is her when she's holding back... what happens if she says 'I love you'? I shudder pleasantly at the thought.

She seems to have noticed that.
"What is it?"

"Just had a thought. A very pleasant one."

"Oh?"

I glance up at her, my eyes glinting lovingly.
"If being with you right now feels this good already - if you do so much already, I wonder how it will be if you return my feelings."

She turns very red. Now she's the cute one. Maddeningly cute, at that.
"So cute..."

"Uhhh..."

I gaze up at her with adoring eyes.
"May I brush a hand through your hair as well?"

"Sure?"

I tentatively reach one of my arms from her back up to her head and run it through her hair. I mirror her movements through my own hair, combing through her gloriously golden strands.
She smiles all the way, which I return.
"But why was your answer so... uncertain?"

"It was an 'if you want' sort of deal."

"Ah, I see. But, well, I wouldn't ask if I don't want to do it, would I?"

"I suppose."

Her locks flow through my hands like... there's nothing like them. What could they be made from to be so lovely?

I mutter quietly, but due to our proximity, she hears me clearly.
"I think I'm biased..."

"Hmm?"

I repeat myself, this time louder.
"I think I might be biased. It seems that even your hair is absolutely lovely."

I shyly glance up at her.
"You are absolutely lovely."

"Aww..."
She remains red, but even so, she gives my head another scratch.

I lean into her touch, while I try to let her feel some of my affections for her as well, as I continue to gently comb her hair. I want to say something, but hesitate at the last moment.

She seems to notice it.
"What is it?"

I squirm a bit.
"It's just... I love you, Leanna. I love you very much. And I feel the need to tell you so often, that I fear it will eventually lose its meaning to you if I say it too much..."

"Xerath, love is never meaningless."

"Well, that's something I heard people say, at least. That telling someone 'I love you' is something special, and that if you say it too often, that it will lose its specialness..."

"I don't think it's right, though - or, not always. Why do you keep saying it?"

"Because that is how I feel. I... I'm not sure if I can put it aptly into words, but... my feelings for you... are rather overwhelming for me. I'm not used to feeling like this, like at all. And I feel like if I don't express my emotions for you every now and then, that I'm just going to burst... or something..."

"And there's the difference. When words lose meaning, it's because people use them at the wrong times enough that their meaning changes. If 'I love you' is just something you say, that's what it will become. I don't get the feeling that you're just saying that, and as long as you don't, it will remain powerful in your hands."

I relax again in her embrace, looking up at her relieved and reassured. A warm smile graces my lips.
"I... see. That makes sense. Thank you."

"Think of it like this: we say 'and' a lot. What would it take for 'and' to lose meaning?"

I blink, suddenly confused.
"Uhh... I... don't know?"

"Someone saying it over and over in inappropriate places."

"But... how can 'and' be inappropriately used?"

"And And And And And And And."

I just blink at her, rather unimpressed.

"If you start saying the word where it doesn't mean anything, its meaning will decay."

"Well, yeah."

"Likewise, if you say I love you-"
Even hearing those words come from her mouth makes me tingle.
"-when you don't mean it as much, the same thing will happen. People will recognize that from you, I love you-"
There it is again.
"Means 'you are tolerable'. So the question is: do you mean it?"

I shiver positively.
"You are a tease... But yes, I mean it with every fibre of my being."

"Huh?"
She seems confused.

I look up at her earnestly, my eyes radiating pure affection.
"I love you, Leanna Dawn."

She shrinks slightly, bathing the world in scarlet.
I begin to worry.
"Oh no, I'm sorry, was that too much?"

She blushes furiously, and says nothing, looking away.

"Oh, okay. I'll... uhm... I'll give you a moment. Should I... erm... should I stop hugging you, then?"

Again, no response. Too much embarrassment for today, it seems.

"Just... just give me a sign. Should I leave you be for a moment, then nod. If you're still comfortable being like this, shake your head."

She slowly moves her head... from side to side. I smile slightly and continue to hold her gently, running comforting circles over her back.
With time, she smiles shyly at me. Every now and then, I steal glances at her, wanting to watch her but not getting caught staring again. So when she turns back to smile at me, I return the smile just as shyly.

Soon, however, the town approaches, and it is time to part. Even if I clearly don't want to, I release her.
"Take care, I'll set you down now. Okay?"

"... if you ever need that again, remember: I'm there for you."

I smile warmly.
"Thank you, but I don't want to overtax your kindness. Because I wouldn't mind travelling like that the entire time."

Then, I crack my neck, my voice bemused.
"Though a shift in position from time to time would be nice."

She chuckles.
"Perhaps. But I'm still there if you need me, Xerath."

"Alright. Thank you. Now, watch your step."
I carefully set her down.

She lands smoothly and begins walking. I do as well, and the illusion takes our position before fading.
She casts one last smile my way before we walk up to the gates. Leanna walks over to one of the guards to discuss the bandits.
Curious about the local law system, I listen in to their conversation without seeming like I do.

"This man was ambushed by this armed force, we were there to assist. I'll be turning them over to you."

The guard nods.
"We'll do our best."

He looks them over.
"Seem dangerous. Reward?"

She nods.
"I promised the merc one for his troubles, and my friend could use some coin."

He nods and produces a small handful of coins.

She looks at the amount.
"This seems small. Are your coffers strapped?"

"Mayor's working on some big project."

"I see. So long as it's for a reason."

She smiles and heads back to me and Zack, handing us each a number of coins. I notice that she keeps only one for herself.
I try to refuse those she wants to give me.
"I'm still in your debt. Keep them."

"You wanted to pay for a few things yourself. This is how you do it."

I grind my teeth.
"... Alright. You do have a point."

Somewhat begrudgingly, I accept the coins.

"If it does make you feel better, I can take them, I just think that the act itself was worth more against any perceived debt than these coins."

I blink.
"Hm? What act?"

"Helping me get them here alive."

"Ah. I see."
Then, I smile at her.
"It made you happy, so it was no problem. And yeah, you did say that you don't have that much use for coins yourself... but still, I don't like being indebted to someone."

She smiles at me.
"That's admirable. I just don't want you to be silly about it."

I scratch my cheek.
"... fair enough."

Zack, meanwhile, has no qualms about accepting money for his work. As was expected.
Leanna smiles at Zack.
"You've earned it. Thank you."

He only nods in response.

She turns back to me.
"As for what you said about owing me, there are a number of methods of payment I'd appreciate more."

I tilt my head, smiling slightly.
"Yes? You have my undivided attention."

"Like the help itself you've done. I don't need the money, what I want from you is something you did regarding this money already."

I blink.

"Don't pay my kindness back. Pay it forward. Use what I have given to give to others."

Zack shrugs.

I nod and smile in understanding.
"I see. I think I can do that."

"Good. Thank you Xerath."

I shake my head.
"If it is your wish, it is my command. And if you consider this as your payment, then I'll do my best to settle my debt to you."

She blushes slightly, and we enter the village. It seems smaller than Meadowhill, though more developed. The buildings seem newer in design, taller.

Zack turns to us.
"I'm going to a smith. My dischargers need to be checked."

Leanna nods.
"Right, I'll get supplies, and for you as well if you still feel like travelling with us to Illumia."

Zack nods.
"Groups make sense."

She turns to me.
"Xerath, is there anywhere you want to be?"

I answer without missing a beat, smiling softly at her.
"Wherever you are."

Then, I draw a hand to my chin.
"Though I could use a backpack, perhaps?"

"Back... pack? Like a pack on your back?"

"Yes? Are they not something common here?"

"I think we can get a large pack fitted for your back."
She ponders a minute.
"Not if we want to leave here with speed, though."

I shake my head.
"Then not, it's not really important."

"Okay."

Zack looks at me strangely.
"I take my leave."

I turn to him.
"See you later then, Zack. We'll come by the smith when we're done, okay?"

"Okay."

I nod at the parting man and we travel to a general store.
While we walk, I speak to Leanna, making sure I'm not heard by others.
"I just thought it would be nice to have a large bag, so I could hide me creating things."

"That might help. We could get you a sack. The problem really is that most bags like that are for horses."

"I see... so you don't have backpacks like that? How do you usually transport your supplies, then?"

"Horse and wagon, more recently rail."

"Rail? Interesting. But I meant when you're travelling on a journey. Like you were. You neither have horse nor wagon with you, right? How do you keep the needed supplies on you, along with two bedrolls?"

"Well, you might've noticed that I have a pack - issued by the Academy for just this sort of situation."

"Yeah, and I was looking for something like that."

"It's custom-made."

The pack itself is hung from her side, to be easily dropped should battle arrive.

"Bummer."

"We could get one made for you, but it would take time."

"Yeah..."
I blink.
"Or not..."

"You're thinking of something?"

"Although, it would be suspicious if I'd go to the Academy with gear specially made by them without them knowing me, wouldn't it?"

"Yes, it would."

"Okay, so no copying that, either. Eh, whatever. It's not too important, anyways. If we come into a situation where I'd need to create something for others, I could always say that you have something like that in your pack."

"Yes. That would work."
Leanna begins the work of selecting provisions for the journey.
"You... were being kind of weird in front of Zack. I'm sure he thinks we're together."

"Well, while we aren't - yet - my intent with you is clear. Or would you want me to hide it?"

"Ummm... yes-er, no, maybe? To people we trust only?"

"Hmm... So, it bothers you when I show that level of care for you in public?"

She is flustered and worried.
"Yes- uhh, I mean, the attention bothers me..."

I furrow my brows worriedly.
"The attention from me?"

"From others..."

"Ah, I see..."
I glance down.
"I'm sorry... I'll... I'll keep that in mind."

She smiles softly.
"Xerath, I just want you to know that the problem isn't you. I'm just... not comfortable with people I don't know paying attention to me..."

I look back up, arching a brow.
"Kind of contradicting to your profession, don't you think?"

"Not really? Their thanks is both personal and general. Like this, I'm... just someone being abnormally affectionate in public."

I blink.
"That... that was 'abnormally affectionate' in public?"

"Tell me, Xerath... did you see anyone holding hands in our travels together?"

"Not really? I didn't really pay much attention to others, though. You kept it, after all."
I smile warmly at her.

She blushes.
"That sort of thing is... rare in public. I'm fine with it normally - it says you're happy - but..."

I arch my brow again.
"'But'? Is the general populace as prude as the nobility?"

"'Prude'?"

"Yeah. How it's against social norms to show affection publically. Possibly even showing some more skin would be frowned upon?"

"It... depends on where you are, and who you are. And I am a knight..."

"And because you're a knight, you're not allowed to show affection or what?"

"Not 'not allowed', but it's expected for me to maintain a level of decorum."

I shrug.
"I'd say 'screw the expectations placed on you and live how you want to.'"

"And if I'm too noticeable, it'll reach my parents..."

I blink.
"Ah..."

Then I nod in understanding.
"Alright. I'll... try to tone it down when others are around."

She smiles brighter.
"Thank you."

I smile warmly.
"Anything for you."

Her blush returns, and I smirk, happy that I can have such an effect on her.
"Now, I believe you were looking for supplies. Is there something I can help you with?"

"Not really, we just need provisions. Stew fixings, bread, everything for a few days of light travel. We might not have much time in Illumia, so it's best to be prepared."

"Hmm? What makes you think that?"

"We have time to shop now, so shop we shall."

I shrug.
"Eh, fair enough."

She returns to the task in slightly flustered silence.

"But if you need something heavier, I don't mind carrying it, you know? Like a cooking pot or something..."

"We have a cooking pot, Xerath."

"I know. And I'm offering to carry heavy things like that on our travels."

"Thank you for offering."

I smile.
"That sounds like a 'but no need for that' to me. Still, you're welcome."

She nods.
"If spreading out our provisions becomes a good idea, I will be sure to take you up on your offer."

"Alright."
My cheeks feel slightly warm as I scratch them.
"I just... want to be helpful to you. And since I have this strength and endurance, this seemed like a logical offer..."

"It makes sense."

"It does. W-well... we should finish this up, shouldn't we?"

"We aren't finished, though. I still need a few more things."

"Yes, hence my usage of 'finishing this up'. We're not done, but should work on getting done."

"Alright."
She collects the last few things, moving over to the register.

"Will that be all for today?"

Leanna nods with a friendly smile gracing her lips.

"Your total comes to twenty-four crowns."

She blinks.
"I'm sorry? It was barely eight last I was here. Is something wrong?"

The shopkeeper frowns.
"You're right, the cost of these goods is only eight crowns. The rest is a two-hundred percent tax."

I turn to Leanna.
"It wasn't long ago when you passed through here, right?"

"Only a week ago. What happened?"

The cashier frowns.
"The tax was instituted recently. There were some protests, but the guards have recently been supplemented by a group of enforcers."

"That... doesn't sound too promising."
I raise a brow.
"Did something like that happen before?"

"Not at all."
He sighs.
"Like I said, I'm really sorry."

She pays him the coins.
"It's okay, it's not your fault. Have a good day."

As she steps out of the shop, she is uncharacteristically distant.

"Something seems off here."

"It does..."
She ponders things.

"First this 'project' of the mayor the guard mentioned, and now a two-hundred percent tax hike? Something weird is going on - I can tell, half my life fits that description."
I pull my hand to my chin in thought, scanning the village for anything off. But what do I look for? Since I have no idea what to look for exactly, just a rudimentary scan with the Force. Unfortunately, concentrations of this world's alien power clog my sight, but no one I can see is behaving abnormally.

So I just shrug.
"Well, we should probably meet up with Zack now, then."

"Right... yes, we should."
She begins to look for a forge.

I stay on the lookout as well but am still put off by the fact I can't read the signs.
"Say, Leanna?"

"Yes?"

"Uhm, kind of a different topic, but... uhm... could you perhaps... teach me your alphabet? Perhaps when we're in Illumia or something? Because, to be honest, it's rather off-putting for me to be unable to read."

"Yes, I can do that."
She still seems focused on other things.

"That would be lovely. But you still seem to be focused on something else, hm?"

She's lost in thought and appears to haven't heard me. Well, whatever.
Soon after, we arrive at a smithy. Shouting can be heard from within.

"Oh dear."
Leanna moves inside.

"This can't be good..."
I am right at her side.

"Look, I just cannot understand why you're busy nosing about in something that isn't your problem."

Zack responds to the guard with a frown.
"It became my problem when you casually threatened someone in front of me."

The guard scoffs, seemingly offended.
"As if refusing to fairly compensate the mayor for his labours isn't crime enough for threats of prison."

"What I heard didn't make it sound very fair, or the blacksmith very criminal."

I casually lean against a wall, wanting to get a better read on the situation first before making any judgement call.

"Look, if he isn't charging his customers enough to pay the tax that isn't my problem. It says to me that he doesn't value his goods. The mayor has placed a tax on business, such that two-thirds of a person's earnings go to the local and royal treasury. If he sets his prices too low to buy food under the tax, starving is his fault. It isn't my job to give this freeloader special treatment."

Zack appears angry.
"Leave. Now."

"Or what? I can if you like, but it won't solve anything, will it? All it says to me is that you'd like some extra time to accrue his debt. Unless you feel like paying him off, you don't have any power here, mercenary."

My temper bristles, but I only raise a hand cooly, deciding to get involved.
"So, what is your job, then, 'guard'? Collecting money like a syndicate?"

He turns to me.
"Thank you for asking, my job is making sure me and the rest of the guard get paid while satisfying the Royal Tax and preparing funds for the planned expansion of Raven Pass."

"You could do that with less than a twenty percent cut if you had any patience for this so-called expansion of yours, since towns don't need to grow at the drop of a hat."

I just arc a brow.
"A two-hundred percent tax is rather steep, to be issued so suddenly."

Zack scowls.
"You could also save money then by having fewer guards. Not strongarming businesses tends to reduce the number of places they need to be at."

The guard facepalms.
"Fine. I'm wasting my shadows-damned time anyway. Have a good day, you all. I'll tell the treasurer his balance still hasn't been paid."
He leaves.

"Must've been one of the recently hired 'enforcers' the shopkeeper mentioned..."

Zack looks over to the smith.
"So, that tax you were talking about. Still insisting that things are survivable?"

I continue to hang back and lean against the wall while Zack talks with the smith. Leanna also has been rather quiet so far.

"No... thank you. I'll get back to work - I would've been done by now, but-"

Zack shakes his head.
"Take your time."

He then turns back to the two of us.
"When we're done here, I won't be meeting you at the inn immediately. Don't wait for me."

I arc a brow.
"You got plans?"

"Yes."

Then, I smirk slightly.
"May I hazard a guess and say that they involve the mayor?"

"I need to talk to him about this tax hike."

"Then we're with you."
I glance over to Leanna.
"Right?"

She nods resolutely.
"Absolutely. The people are clearly suffering over this."

I nod as well.
"Indeed. And something's clearly off about this whole situation."

Then, I smirk.
"Besides, sticking my nose where it doesn't belong is kind of a hobby for me."

Zack shrugs.
"You can come along if you like."

"And we would like."
I glance at Leanna again.
"Wouldn't we?"

She looks at me like I'm being silly.

I smile apologetically.
"Sorry. Just making sure..."

"No worries."
She settles in to wait for Zack's weapon repair to finish.

I go to stand a bit closer to her - but still a respectable distance away - and speak, so that Zack can't hear.
"It's just... I don't want to presume to speak for you. Neither am I your superior or something..."

She blinks, startled at my meaning.
"I see. Thank you, I appreciate that."

I smile at her.
"Really? I'm glad. Because it didn't look like that at first."

"I didn't really get why you were asking me the same thing again..."

I blink.
"Oh. Right. I guess I did ask you the same question twice, in a way. How odd."

I draw a hand to my chin as I lean my back against the wall. Then I mumble under my breath.
"Must've been distracted or something..."

I shake my head slightly.
"Regardless... even if I have a rather good read on your personality, I think, you are still your own person, and I don't want to speak for you or put words in your mouth. Thus I wanted to give you the option to chime in to tell me if I'm correct or not."

"I appreciate that, Xerath."
She nods.
"I'm fine if you ask me questions. I just thought it was odd that you asked me to repeat myself."

I scratch my cheek.
"Yeah... that was off, wasn't it?"
I sigh.

"A bit. But it's alright."

I smile again. Well, if she says it's alright, then it must be right.
"Okay."

With time, Zack's discharger, loaded with a purple sphere is returned to him. Zack places coins on the table, but the shopkeeper shakes his head.
"Please, I overheard what you were planning to do. That's service enough for me."

Zack pushes them his way.
"Please, take it. This is good craftsmanship."

"No."

Zack scowls good-naturedly.
"Yes, or I'll be forced to take drastic measures."

"Alright, you win."
He accepts the coins.
"Be safe out there."

"Yeah, as can be."

I nod at the smith before I step out of the forge with Zack and Leanna.
We walk to the mayoral house, and I note a change from Zack's normal, measured paces. His strides are longer, filled with purpose, and his expression set in forced neutrality.
Leanna, too, is taken in by a sensation of righteous aggression, and her light appears sharper to my sense, angered by the idea of someone hurting another.
If they'd watch me, they wouldn't notice much difference, as I always walk with some kind of determination. But I do wear a small, proud smile.

After a short walk, we reach the gate to what seems like a small administrative complex and look it over. Two guards stand in front, looking bored.
I speak up.
"So, we're here. What's the plan now?"

Zack looks at us.
"Seems simple enough. We take out those two, preserve the element of surprise. From there, we have access."

Leanna frowns at that.
"We don't know if those two are implicated. Talking to them could be useful."

I hesitate, then sigh.
"Well, usually, I'd be on Zack's side. Quickly knocking them out and then going inside would be an effective way. However, you're right. It won't hurt to try talking first."

Zack looks between the two of us, then shrugs.
"Alright, we'll see if we can talk our way in. But if you two mess this up, plan b is mine."

I nod.
"Fair enough."

He cracks his knuckles.

Leanna just sighs.
"That's... good enough, I guess. Let's go."

We approach the guards, who stiffen to attention.
"What business do you have here?"

Zack responds.
"We're here to see the mayor."

The guard to the left looks him over.
"Do you have an appointment?"

"No, but we wanted to talk to him about the latest tax hike."

They relax slightly.
"Yeah, I can see that."

I chime in sympathetically.
"You guys don't seem to like the tax hike that much either, huh?"

"Not really. My sister owns a bakery over there, and it's pretty obvious that this whole town is suffering. I don't even know what the mayor wants with all this money - it's accumulating faster than this town is hurting, but what could it be for?"

The other guard chimes in.
"If you ask me, it's the treasurer."

"Oh, for the... the treasurer only just got here. He's been doing his duties as required by village and royal law. We have no reason to be suspicious of him."

"Yeah, but-"

"...here we go..."

"-he arrived just a day before the tax increase, been really reclusive, and gotten really close to the mayor. It's weird, I tell you!"

"It does sound like a weird coincidence, doesn't it?"

Leanna quirks her head at the mention of this.
"This treasurer, how does being close to him make you feel?"

"Now, I'm new to this town, but would the mayor usually pass such taxes?"

The one on the left answers me.
"Sometimes, usually with a stated goal in mind. We'll survive, I suppose - as long as it doesn't last too long."

Then, the one on the right answers Leanna.
"I had to bring the mayor tea once, and being near the treasurer's room made me feel uneasy."

"Because you're afraid of him."

"No, I'm serious! It isn't like when I walked past my brother's door when I was a kid, this felt really weird."

Leanna nods slowly.
"We're going to investigate, okay? Could you let us pass?"

I draw a hand to my chin.
"A subconscious feeling of ill omen? Curious."

I then look up, scanning the building. This time, I have a hunch and check for magic.

They nod.
"You're a Mage-Knight, empowered by the Guild. No matter what they say to you, it is your right."

She smiles.
"Thank you. We hope to have this resolved soon."

I nod absentmindedly.
"Yes, we'll do our best."

The miasma of magic that surrounds every settlement is present, but it occurs to me that instead of trying to peer through the miasma, I should look for something about it. Indeed. If my hunch is correct, then there should be a dark spot in the miasma. Somewhere within the manor.
And sure enough, some of the haze of magic is out of place. Among the four established flavours of magic, there is a fifth one. A recent one, and it tastes of distortion, the way those affected by a Jedi Mind Trick feel but somewhat different.
I click my tongue in irritation.
"Tch. We have to go."

Oh, how the Jedi would squeal about how their precious social cheat tool is considered to be among the darkest of magics on this world. On a similar tier to necromancy. I smile inwardly at the thought, but the direness of the situation prevents me from chuckling.

The guards let us pass, and Leanna begins scanning the area, recording her results as she did the day she met me - by imprinting them on a crystal, I realise.
I lean over to her.
"There's shadow magic."

"Not now, I need to confirm it with a method other than 'just trust me'. But yes, I think so too."

I nod, then point in the direction where I felt it.
"Scan over there."

We slowly make our way across the yard, drawing suspicious glances from guards, but there is an assumption that if we are here we have been let in - which in our case is even true enough.
Leanna produces a bluish crystal and sends a jolt of energy through it - locking its matrix in place.
"Yes, it's Shadow magic. We need to move - I doubt we can-"

"It's them!"

Zack looks over at the voice and scowls. It's the guard from the smith.

"You're not supposed to be here! Guards, intruders!"

A horn sounds.

My expression turns annoyed and I sigh.
"As a matter of fact, we are supposed to be here."

I let my voice boom throughout the yard in a commanding tone - but only the yard. My voice does not carry beyond the walls, I make sure of that.
"We are here on official Mage Guild business. I suggest you stand down."

I nod at Leanna to show her sigil.

The guards completely ignore my request and prepare to mount a defence. Leanna shakes her head.
"We need to move."

I am quite annoyed, but I don't want to give my power away just yet. Thus we rush to the lobby, towards a door to the halls. Zack kicks over a table.
"Shadow blasters aren't too good against a shadow mage. Go, once you get that bastard this will be much easier."

Arrows and blasts hammer into the table and walls, and Zack urges us on.
I nod and deploy an invisible Static Barrier around Zack.
"Got it. Take care."

"Go on."
He leans up from behind the cover and purple energy swirls to life, sending blasts of immobilizing energy at the guards. Unlike them, his shots are unerring.

Leanna and I go through the door.
"Ten paces east, four up, eight north, two west, epicentre. Okay, follow me."

She darts forward, and I am directly by her side.
She counts her steps, manipulator already aglow with the task of preparing magic - magic of a kind I haven't seen from her yet. I allow myself a small smile at the prospect of seeing her in action.

Every step is one it seems she has rehearsed a thousand times, as she rounds corners with the kind of precision needed to make an AI nod slightly in appreciation. In less than a minute, we navigate the manor and reach the door, which she kicks down, caring not for the ornate carvings upon it - or perhaps they are a symbol of the corruption in this place.
The hardwood shatters under her boot with a rush of wind magic, bowling over the two guards. Two people are at the desk in the centre of the room: one sitting at a desk in dishevelled robes and a blank look in his eyes, and the other standing nearby who responds quite promptly, almost as if he'd already seen us approach.
"Who are you? I explicitly said NO VISITORS!"

I smirk.
"We are your worst nightmare, shadow mage."

"You."
Leanna's voice drips with disdain, seeing the glazed eyes of the mayor and the guards.

"I suggest you stand down and surrender."

She sends forth another gust of wind, billowing his robes open and revealing a hand holding what seems like a large pearl of compressed darkness.
"You carry a tainted sphere and bear the branding of VOID. Drop it. Now."

"Y-you have seen too much!"

He sends two blasts of shadow magic our way. Leanna responds with a slash of compressed air, but to her surprise, it is absorbed by the warbling bolt of chaos. I see a moment of fear pass through her eyes.
Following that, I see a vision of her getting impaled by the blast, which in turn wakes memories of Kory's death.
Panic grips my heart.
"Leanna, NO!"

In incredibly fast paces, I surge over to her, tackling her out of the way and then cushioning her fall with the Force. Though due to my panic, my cushioning isn't the best.
I take the blasts in full, as in my haste I disabled the Static Barrier around me to hit Leanna. Searing agony runs over my body as I am thrown into another wall by the impact. Leanna, once she shakes the surprise and worry, stands.
I groan silently as I lie on the floor.

She takes a breath, and her magic comes to life. A halo of sky blue energy surrounds her, in the carefully calculated cadences of Terra magic - and I realise that instead of the normal physical improvements of the Force moving through their veins, this is what Terra's mages have. The winds surge in her motions, and her internal light goes from sharp to spiny. This person has hurt someone. Someone special to her, who she is special to. She cannot let that stand.
The treasurer blanches and looses a volley of blasts. Her eyes narrow dangerously as sparks of magic surround her to my Force sense, and as she rushes forward, the blasts are cut apart. I realise that this is the magic that her sword and armour are supposed to link to.

"What?"

"Hyaa!"

As she almost flies towards him, her sword comes down, and the treasurer throws his sphere at the floor. A shadowy mist consumes the room, biting against me like angry flies.

I stare at her, completely transfixed. The pain in my body is nothing but an afterthought - an opportunity to study this new energy.

Winds surge through the room, clearing out the fog, and she looks around, eyes hardened as she searches for her foe. Once she confirms he is gone, she rushes to me, everything about her returning to the near-infinite care I know her for.
"Xerath! Are you okay?"

I look up at her, slightly dazed. If by pain or her beauty, she cannot be certain. Kriff, neither am I.
"I'll live. More importantly, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, thanks to you. You're sure you're alright?"
Kindness and worry shine in her eyes, and to my bewitched senses, she seems to shine like an angel.
"You seem distant..."

"Well... it is said that you'll see an angel when you die... so I'm not sure anymore..."
My head tilts to the side.
"Did I, by chance, die?"

She rolls her eyes.
"No, I'm pretty sure you're still alive. I'm not an angel, whatever that is."

I chuckle weakly before I wince in pain.
"Yeah. I also heard that you're supposed to feel no pain anymore when you're dead, so I'll live."

"Can you walk?"

I blink, then check my systems. It hurts, but nothing is really damaged. Thus, I nod.
She offers her hand, and I readily take it. But due to my weakened state, Leanna has to put in more strength than the last time. My movements also are still somewhat sluggish.
She seems mostly unfazed, letting me lean on her. Even standing somewhat at attention, in armour, she is... so confy...
I lean into her and sigh happily. Then, my eyes get some focus back as I look her over in earnest, checking for possible injuries.
"Are you really alright, though? Nothing hurts?"

"Nothing. You took care of that part, remember?"

I sigh with relief.
"I'm glad..."

I wrap my arms around her and squeeze her tightly. Although, not that tightly, really, as I can't muster much strength.
She smiles lightly at me, offering a hug of her own.

Eventually, the mayor begins to stir, and she returns to a somewhat more formal posture - though I still get to lean on her.
"Ugh..."

He tries to stand, but Leanna shakes her head.
"Take it easy, sir. You were under the influence of a Shadow mage."

He sits back down and sighs.
"... it was the treasurer, wasn't it?"

She nods.
"Yes."

"I-"

"You don't need to explain anything, sir. Not to me. I know all too well what that can be like."

"But-"

She shakes her head.
"No buts. That wasn't you, and according to both me and the law, you are not to blame for anything 'you' just did."

My voice has something strained to it still, but I push on regardless.
"That's right, sir. That mage controlled you, your actions, and your thoughts. There is nothing to blame yourself for."

I then smile weakly.
"We're just glad we were able to help you out."

Zack rushes through the open door, which startles Leanna.
"Zack!"

Guards are close behind him.
"Get him!"

The mayor sits up.
"Leave them be."

They pause.
"But-"

"I said leave them be! I'm... sorry. To all of you, and the people of Raven Pass. I could not be the mayor you deserved."

I continue to lean into Leanna, content to hang back for now. There is still absorbed shadow magic to analyse.

"If you ask me, I will begin proceedings to appoint a new mayor and new mage. We clearly need someone else in office after that."

One of the guards on the floor stands.
"No we don't, my lord. It's like she said: that wasn't you."

"But I did those things."

"No, you didn't. The treasurer did, through you. When he was inside my head, everything felt foggy, and all I could focus on was how much better my life would be if I could show how good of a guard I was."

The other formally controlled guard speaks up.
"I have no doubt that if it was truly you there, you wouldn't have done those things. It wasn't you. And little Garrett still plays with the toy sword you gave him for his birthday. Says he's practising for when he joins the guard too."

The other guards in the room murmur their assent.
"There's nobody who can run this town better than you."

The mayor glances at the hopeful faces of his guard. In this small town, I believe that he knows each of them by name.
He sighs.
"Well, alright. I suppose someone needs to clean up this mess. I'll still put it to the people to decide my guilt."

The guard smiles.
"We'll stand by you, my lord."

"I am grateful for your faith. Please, pay the new guards and make them leave. We have no need of them anymore."

He turns to the three of us.
"And to you, thank you. You will always be welcome in Raven Pass."

Zack nods, and Leanna smiles.
"It was our pleasure."

I nod along as well with a small smile.

"We will take it from here. Byz, find some reward for them. Our coffers seem to be full for some reason, and it would be best to empty them."

One of the guards rushes off, and the rest file out.

I sigh.
"I'm just glad we were able to sort this out."

Then, I glance over to the mayor.
"But truly, from my experience, it takes a great leader to offer to step down for his mistakes. I'm sure you'll do fine in the future."

He smiles slightly.
"I am happy you believe in me."

He then waves us off.
"Now, please. I have a lot of paperwork to do if I want to fix this with any haste."

I nod in understanding.
"Of course."

Leanna smiles again and leads me out. Zack walks beside us.
"So, what happened in there?"

"Well, as we thought the treasurer was manipulating the mayor and the two guards in the room. We threatened, he attacked, and Xerath took a Shadow blast meant for me."

She gives me a slight squeeze at the end.
Zack raises an eyebrow.
"Really? Interesting."

I nod.
"That mage packed quite the punch."

I then look over to Zack.
"And you? You alright?"

"Lots of fire, none of it hit me. I'm clear, like usual."

I notice a little flicker of some kind of presence around his neck, but nothing substantial. Probably residual Shadow magic from his dischargers. I glance over there for a moment, then shrug slightly.
"Glad to hear it."

We make our way out of the manor and to the inn. The village seems happier, as the air of oppression is leaving.
I close my eyes and enjoy the feelings around me. These are the moments that I enjoy most. Or, at least, that I did enjoy most before meeting Leanna.

"You seem in a good mood."
Leanna notes my smile, also looking quite cheerful.

"Well, yeah. The people of the village are happier - because of our actions."

She smiles brightly at my response. Even Zack seems a little bit happier.

"This is what I'd call a 'successful day'."
I can only smile as well.

"It is."

We enter the inn, and after she sits me down, Leanna goes up to get food and rooms. I sigh as I sit down, rubbing my sore muscles. It's been a while since I last got injured.

With an opening, Zack speaks.
"Normally, people don't survive those. What's your secret?"

I shrug.
"To be honest, I don't know. I panicked and rushed in front of Leanna. My magical defences were down due to that, and the bolt hit me squarely. Perhaps Leanna's attack before weakened the magic? Perhaps I'm more resistant? I cannot be certain."

"Huh."

He shrugs, and Leanna returns. She seems more neutral.
"Apparently, the mayor is paying for our stay here."

She places two keys on the table.
"I tried to pay for them, but he says we're not allowed to."

She sits.
"Our dinner will be here soon."

I chuckle, then wince.
"To be honest, that was to be expected. The mayor is a good man."

She immediately notices and gets back up. She soon returns with a cold compress.

I blink, surprised, then scratch my warming cheek.
"Ah. Thank you."

"No problem."

I take the compress and put it on my aching spots. The pain slowly melts into a dull ache, but only partially due to the compress. Looking at her reminds me she did offer massages. I blush brightly at the thought and shake my head violently. Then, I speak up.
"So, you said this shadow mage had the brandings of VOID? The same band of mages that was responsible for the Great War of Esaria?"

"Yeah... it's known that pieces of that organization are still around. Practitioners pop up from time to time."

"One of the most important tasks of the current Mage Guild is hunting them down."

"Yeah, I can see why."

"Their appearance tends to have... consequences."

"But that they act so brazenly, so openly... is that common for the remnants?"

"Depends on the situation. In that case, I think it's likely that he planned to destroy Raven Pass after he was done. Rapid monster attacks do happen."

"Huh? How so? Does their magic lure them in, or do they just summon them themselves?"

"A mage like that would likely have the power to level Raven Pass over a night. We'd likely hear about it the following day, and teams would be out hunting, but we probably wouldn't have found him."

I ball my fists.
"Then it is good we found him when we did."

"Yes, it is. Still... that he has that power is unsettling. Tainted magic is deadly, to the caster as well as the recipients. It would've taken years of practice. Where could he have gotten that?"

I blink and draw my hand to my chin. I mutter softly under my breath.
"...could it... no... too soon... no conclusion..."

I slowly look up.
"Years of practice, you say? That's... not good... Not good at all..."

"Yes, and with Shadow magic's tempestuous nature, that kind of practice would take effort."

"And further... what was his goal here? Bleeding the town dry of money before destroying it? Why would he need that much money? It makes no sense. If we assume he operated alone, that is."

"He might be trying to live a life of luxury at the expense of others or rebuild his organization. Those are really the only two options for a stray VOID mage."

"Hmm..."
My hand remains at my chin, the elbow propped up on the table. Deep in thought, I go over the data I have so far.
But after a few moments, I sigh eventually.
"Well, it won't do us any good to rack our brains over it now. We don't have enough information on this as of now."

"Yeah..."

Soon, dinner arrives. Zack digs in, seemingly low on energy after today. Leanna easily matches him. And so do I. I still eat with the dignity of a noble but am rather fast in doing so.
In time, seconds arrive for me and Leanna. Zack is full. Leanna tries to pay again, and is once again prevented from doing so. She is on the verge of the most adorable pout I would've seen, but stops and eats.
I just smile and enjoy the companionable silence.

"How do you two eat this much?"
Zack is only slightly incredulous.

I just shrug.
"Being a mage requires a lot of energy, I guess."

"Evidently."
He looks at Leanna, who somehow maintains lithe curves visible despite her armour and diet.

I am somewhat vaguely displeased by Zack's wandering eyes, even if they're just a confused glance. But I don't say anything about it. Instead, I speak up about something else.
"So, Zack, are you... comfortable with sharing a room with me now? Given how yesterday, you didn't want me to keep watch..."

"Not really."

Leanna sighs deeply.
"I'll ask if we can pay for another room."

She stands, and I cast her an apologetic smile.

She later returns, holding no key.

"They said they could bump someone if I wanted, but there's no way we're doing that. Alright, we'll need to come up with an arrangement."

"I could camp in the wilderness."

She shakes her head.
"That's unacceptable to me."

"Well, then what do you suggest? Zack doesn't want to room with me, and I wouldn't want to intrude upon you, either. So, me going outside is the most logical conclusion."

"Zack, the key I gave you is for a room with two beds. We could swap places."

I blink, then blush.
"Are you... are you... suggesting... that we... room together?"

"I suggest that no one is sleeping outside if I can help it, and you are the one I trust more."

Zack shrugs.
"Do what you want."

They trade keys.

"Besides, you might need tending to later. I imagine that blast still hurts."

I can only nod shyly.

"This isn't permanent, of course. I just don't want you out in the cold."

I shift a bit nervously, but the small, shy smile hopefully tells her that I am happy with this turn of events.

Zack goes upstairs without us, perfectly willing to let our drama play out where he isn't.

I call after him.
"Good night, Zack."

Leanna does, too.
"Goodnight."

Zack turns.
"'Night."

Leanna returns her attention to me.
"If that's too uncomfortable, I'm fine with-"

I blink.
"You're fine with what? Sleeping outside in my stead? Do you think I'd let you do that if I can help it?"

"Well, another arrangement you are comfortable with, whatever it might be."

I can think of several arrangements I'd find more comfortable than sleeping in a different bed than Leanna. I smile at her softly and warmly. A soft blush dusts my cheeks as I dispel some of the thoughts that just came in.
"Leanna, I may be nervous about sleeping in the same room with you, but I wouldn't exactly say that I'm uncomfortable. Far from it, in fact. That you trust me that much means a lot to me. And you said it's nothing permanent, but I wouldn't mind if it were..."

"Alright then. Come on."
She smiles at me, attempting to disguise her own embarrassment at the choice.

I nod at her and then stand up along with her.
"And, uhm... does your offer with the massage still stand?"

"Yes, Xerath, it does. Will it help you feel better?"

I blush some more. Force, this woman...
"Most certainly... I was... already thinking about it before... but now that we share a room, the logistics became a lot easier..."

We walk upstairs.
"That is true."

I still lean into her, but not as much as directly after the fight. It... might not be so bad to depend on her, if she really lets me...

She opens the door and lets me in. The room doesn't look different than any other I've stayed at here, but it has a quality that Leanna has imparted to it despite never entering it. I smile softly, feeling already at ease.
We enter, and the door is closed and locked. My finely-tuned sense of smell notes how quickly her presence fills the room, an experience unlike being outside with her. That there is no ventilation in these rooms is not something that had yet occurred to me, but it is now very noticeable. My cheeks continue to heat up very visibly.

She sighs in relaxation, and once again casts off the outer layers of her armour. Quilted cloth in flowery patterns, and an adorable skirt with heavy stockings are the name of the game. Her figure seems to spring out of its imprisonment into comfort, yet still being obviously restrained to a modest appearance.
"Ahhh..."

I quickly turn away with a burning face.

She stretches.
"Well, you said you wanted a massage, right?"

My voice comes out quietly, almost sounding meek.
"...mhm..."

She blinks, looking over at me.
"Huh?"

She notices my fiery blush and smiles gently.
"We don't have to do this if you aren't comfortable, Xerath. This is for you, not me."

"...there is nothing I want more right now... It's just..."
I sigh deeply.
"These emotions are quite overwhelming. You are incredibly beautiful, and it makes my thoughts go into weird directions, and I don't know what to do with that..."

She laughs.
"That's alright, Xerath. I'm sure you'll get more of a handle on the places they lead in time."

"You sure? Because, as it is, I feel as if these thoughts are inappropriate..."

"It will be alright. Now, so I can help you, I need you to undress to your level of comfort. More skin access is better for massages, but it won't help you relax at all if you're showing me things you don't want me to see."

I nod. She is so considerate...

"I'll at least need you to get rid of the armour. Is that the level you want to be at?"

"... I can do that much, at least..."
I remove the pieces of armour.

"The mage's garb is fairly thick and has multiple layers. You're sure you don't want to go a layer down?"

"I think I could do that... as long as my skin is still covered..."

She nods in understanding - or, as far as I am concerned, a lack of it. She'd probably accept me, but I'm still not ready...
And neither is she, I think. We're nowhere near close enough to show that much skin to each other.
So, continuing to blush madly, I basically strip down under her gaze.
Seeing how nervous I am, she turns around, allowing me to reorganize my wardrobe as I see fit.
I can only whisper softly.
"Thank you."

Soon enough, I have shed as much clothing as I feel comfortable in. That is to say, I got rid of the skirt and some layers off my upper body.
When I say I'm ready, she turns around.
"Okay, lie down on the bed, facefirst."

"Alright."
I do as I am instructed.

I lie down, despite my combat sense screaming about how vulnerable that position is. It then gets worse, as Leanna places herself on top of me and begins to work.
The only possible conclusion I can reach is that she has been lying this whole time and actually is some kind of love goddess. It is criminal that a massage can feel this good - her combination of skill, the feeling of her body against mine despite layers of clothing, and the simple herness envelops me in a bubble of Leanna-induced comfort and joy.
Thus it is almost instantly that she has a Xerath-shaped puddle beneath her. The strange, alienlike purring sound from earlier resurfaces, escaping my throat once more. If other people are a fraction of this good, and I knew, I would've made a sign that said 'Will destroy planets for backrubs' years ago.

She 'aww's at the noises I make and does her best to relieve my tension, working through my shoulders, arms, back, and legs, maintaining a distance from certain areas but still prioritizing her work. Though when she massages my shoulders and the base of my neck, I begin to feel... somewhat uncomfortable? Why is that? Is it just because my combat instincts scream at me how vulnerable I am, or is it something else? This... might be worth pondering.
But before I can fully analyse it, Leanna's melodic voice calls me out of my musings.
"I decided to learn this because massages seemed like an obvious and simple way to help people I'm travelling with. When you work hard all day, or get put in life or death situations, you get really tense. Removing that tension is both pleasant and increases your abilities."

She smiles up at me as she works my ankle.
"Of course, I soon found that doing it well required work, but after a few months it became one of my support niches. How would you say I am doing?"

Does she really have to ask?
"...purr-fect..."

She beams at me, and once again my ankle begins to radiate light. Like, seriously. This lady cannot be anything other than a love goddess, surely. Every part of me that she touches just radiates joy, probably for hours.
My voice is a bit slurred, given how good I feel right now, but my emotions carry across well enough, I think.
"I love you..."

She blushes while continuing to work.

I tilt my head, glancing back at her with my one visible eye.
"Are you sure you're not some kind of love goddess?"

Her cheeks redden considerably.
"What? What makes you say that?"

Before I can speak again, another purr-like sound comes from me.
"...because no matter what you do, or where you go... you make everything better..."

I lift my head, and I'm sure she can see absolute adoration and conviction in my eyes.
"Especially my life."

There is a pause. I see Leanna's light pulse once.
She returns to the massage.

"I mean... right now, you're just being my friend... and I already am happier than ever before. I wonder how it will feel for the lucky person who will be special to you..."

She is turning extremely red.
"I-uhhh I... I uhhhhhhh..."

Even so, she continues to devote herself to the task.
I grow silent as well, enjoying the massage thoroughly, and not wanting to fluster her even further.

Eventually, as she returns to my shoulders a second time, she speaks again.
"You know, it was really reckless of you to jump in front of the blast like that..."

I flinch.
"Yeah... Zack already told me that people usually don't survive those..."

I sigh.
"It's just... I panicked. I couldn't think of anything else but to save you from harm."

"You had me so worried... and until he was dealt with, I couldn't go to you."

"I'm sorry... my defences were down due to my panic..."
I sigh again.
"It's just... when your wind blast was scattered, I noticed that brief flash of panic in your eyes - I'm familiar with that sight, after all. And then, I thought, that it must have been a large threat to you if it could bring forth that reaction. And... that's when I received a vision... although I cannot be certain if it was a vision through the Force or just the workings of my mind..."

Her motions soften, becoming more emotionally comforting than physically relieving.

A tight lump is forming in my throat, but I press on anyway. Though my voice is audibly loaded with emotions.
"I saw you... getting pierced by that bolt..."

I take a deep breath.
"And that... woke a... to be honest, a terrible memory..."

I ball my fists and I tense all over again.
"Kory... she died all too similar to that, and I was unable to help her. I couldn't lose someone else I love again... not like that... I couldn't..."

Tears roll down my face, dampening the pillow.
"I just can't lose you, Leanna... I'm not strong enough to endure that pain all over again..."

Her motions stop, and her arms wrap around me. She doesn't say anything, only holding me close.

I silently sob in her embrace, not quite able to wrap my arms around her as well.
"I love you, Leanna, more than anything, and I'd rather die a thousand times than to see you hurt! I couldn't take that... I couldn't... And so... I sprinted towards you as fast as I could... to push you out of harm's way..."

She pulls me deeper into her embrace, having me cry on her gambeson rather than the pillow. When she turns me around, I wrap my arms around her, clinging closely to her as if she were my lifeline. Which, she probably noticed by now, she actually is.

"Oh Xerath... I'm so sorry... I won't be fragile. If I am to be a crucial support in your life, I need to be strong. I'll get stronger."

I manage to force something out between sobs.
"...don't... force yourself... You... don't have to be... if you don't want to..."

"I do want to. You need someone, and right now, you need me. I can't be unstable. I can't be a space of uncertainty. You need to know that I won't disappear. Do you think you could try to train me to use my internal magic?"

I blink against the tears.
"Huh?"

"The Force, you call it. Can you teach me to use it? If I can, perhaps I won't be in that kind of danger as often."

"Uhm... I could... I could try... but..."

I still seem to struggle to talk normally, so I take a few deep breaths.
"But I don't know how to go at this, given your people can't even feel it. In my world, the people that are Force-sensitive can already subconsciously feel the Force around them, to an extend... Besides... are you really sure you'd want me to teach you? I don't... I don't exactly have the best track record with apprentices..."

She blinks.
"What do you mean?"

"I had four apprentices so far... two were killed, and two are the-Force-knows-where..."

"Xerath, I would trust no one more than you in teaching me about the Force."

"Well, you don't exactly know anyone else with knowledge about it..."

"Even if I did, I think I'd pick you."

I blink.
"Really?"

She runs a hand through my hair.
"Absolutely."

I lean into her touch.
"Alright, then... it won't hurt to try, I think... At least not when I ignore the training methods of the Sith..."

"I would prefer a kinder strategy, yes."

"Well, then it's good for you that I abhorred the Sith teachings from the very beginning... Though their code seemingly has some truth in it, just like the Jedi code."

"Oh?"

"You want to hear them?"

"Sure."

I nod. My voice is still a bit shaky, and I cling still tightly to her, but I think I have calmed down a bit.
"Okay, so I'll give you the two codes, and you'll guess which one is which. Sounds good?"

"Okay."

I smile ever so slightly.
"Peace is a lie. There is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me."

I take a moment, then continue.
"There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, only the Force."

"Hmm... Odd. One poem that tries to make freedom sound as menacing as possible, and another that tries to make accepting the world as it presents itself sound as nice as possible. If I had to guess, the first one was for the Sith because it sounds evil. It's also the one that's probably closer to what I'd want to do, just... without the menacing undertones."

I nod.
"Yeah... I found it to be both true and false at the same time. But that goes for the Jedi code as well, actually."

"I figured that out pretty easily. It seems obvious. Are you sure the Jedi are supposed to be the ones that protect freedom? Because it sounds like they want everyone to do exactly what they're told."

"It seems contradicting, doesn't it? The Jedi... are afraid of the Dark side - to the point that they shun emotions, especially attachments. But yeah, given how their most favourite social cheat tool is their Mind Trick, which they use to not having to fight, so they can uphold the 'peace'... there are reasons why I'm not exactly their fan. But even so, the Jedi are usually the lesser of the two evil. Because, on its own, the Sith code isn't that bad... but the interpretation of the Sith absolutely is."

"No amount of elegance or cool factor can excuse the fact that they're terrible."

I chuckle.
"Given how you are everything they ever strived to be, your opinion would be devastating for them, I'm sure."

"How so?"

"Well, a selfless protector of the innocent, with unrivalled compassion for every living thing? Yeah, you are without a doubt the beacon of hope and light that the Jedi wish they were."

"Well, I was kind of talking about both of them, but whatever. What kind of code do you follow then - with your personality, you almost definitely have one."

I smile up at her.
"You seem to get to know me by now. Yes, I do have code for myself. As I said, there's truth in both the Sith and the Jedi code, but also plenty is wrong."

I clear my throat.
"Ahem. Flowing through all, there is balance.
There is no peace without a passion to create.
There is no passion without peace to guide.
Knowledge stagnates without the strength to act.
Power blinds without the serenity to see.
There is freedom in life.
There is purpose in death.
Because there is no death, only the Force.
The Force is all things and I am the Force."

"'I am the Force'? That seems like a large claim."

I chuckle lightly.
"In the hypothetical sense. It's an expression that I, as well as everyone else, am a part of the Force. I am as much in the Force as the Force is within me."

"I see. But it still seems off to me. I don't say I am Terra because I am on it."

My face falls a bit.
"I... found this code for me when I thought that I was nothing but a vessel for the Force..."

"But you aren't."

"Especially the last sentence..."

"You never were."

I gaze up at her.
"Yes. Now I know that."

"You are so much more than that."

"Now I know that I still am capable of having my own goals, my own feelings... But until not too long ago, that was not the case. I accepted the fact that I was destined to lead the galaxy to greatness - even if it came at the expense of my own happiness."

She sighs, displeased at that knowledge.

Leanna pulls me closer, and I nuzzle into her.
"But that point of view shifted. Thanks to the most wonderful woman I've ever had the fortune to meet."

I see it in her face. The little shift where her heart melts a little.
"I'm so glad I could help you like this, Xerath."

I smile up at her warmly.
"I said it before, didn't I? For the first time in a long time, I can picture a future I can look forward to - a future I can be happy in. But, you know... most of my code is based on the teachings of Revan. Man, I'm really glad I met that cult as soon as I did..."

"Hmm?"

"Revan... was a legendary individual. He started as a Jedi, fell to the Dark side and became a Sith, only to turn back to the Light again. He fought the Sith Emperor Vitiate - you know, the evil god I told you about - for centuries. He was such a legend, in fact, that his unique teachings of balance created a cult based around him - the Revanites. And, when A'den and I were on Dromund Kaas, while we were tasked to infiltrate Lord Grathan's mansion for various reasons, we were asked to also infiltrate a camp of the Revanites. The Sith viewed their teachings as heretical, after all. Preaching harmony? Searching for the Light, for balance? Hah, not on their watch.
So, being mere apprentices as we were, we really had no option but to accept. And thus, we worked to infiltrate their camp, earn their trust, and so on..."

I smile slightly at the memory.
"But the longer we stayed, the more we learned... the more we agreed with them. We found reason and solace in Revan's teachings. So, when we finally had an audience with their leader, who we were supposed to rat out, we went back to the person who hired us and told him that it was that man's master - the one who instigated the investigation in the first place - who was the leader of the cult."

Then, my smile falls.
"I wonder how much tragedy we could have prevented if we had done our job properly."

"Huh?"

"Years later... the Revanites returned. They were a cult that had key places in both the Republic and the Empire. And, well, Revan himself returned... a few years after I, unfortunately, had to kill him... in the mad effort to wake the Emperor up. He wanted to sacrifice thousands in a massive space battle he instigated, and when that mostly failed, he wanted to sacrifice millions by wiping a planet clean..."
I sigh.
"It was quite the crazy time."

"Sounds like it."

"But still... Revan's code stuck with me. Supposedly, it was as follows. Peace and Passion give me Strength, Strength and Knowledge give me Power, Power and Serenity give me Harmony, Through Harmony I gain Victory, Through the Balance the Force sets me free."

"That seems like someone who didn't think for too long mashed the codes together."

I shrug.
"Well, who knows how long he thought over it? Point is, that he preached about the balance between both the Light and the Dark side. As someone who despised the Dark side and the Sith, but still used their powers, this seemed ideal."

"It is better. I just thought it didn't sound like the most... philosophical thing I've ever heard."

"Well, as far as I know, Revan was a warrior first and foremost. And who really knows if those were his exact words? I never got around to ask him."

"Perhaps not."
She smiles.
"Even so, it's a good thing you found them."

My smile returns as well.
"Yeah, I think so, too."

"Since we're trading beliefs, would you like to hear one of mine, coalesced into neat rhyming couplets for public consumption?"

I look up at her with wide eyes.
"Of course! Learning something more about you? How could I say no to that?"

She smiles, and then takes a deep breath.
"Somewhere on our Terra a coin flip lands on its side.
Somewhere beneath the skies, a drop of water saves a life.
Somewhere in the mountains, a pebble stops a landslide.
Maybe it is because someone believed hard enough.
Maybe it is because everything is secretly fair.
Maybe it is because the world is a vast place.
Yesterday, I was very cold.
Yesterday, I was very hungry.
Yesterday, I wanted to run away.
Today, I am going to believe hard enough.
Today, a pebble will stop a landslide.
Today, I am not going anywhere."

I squeeze her, smiling up at her.
"It's beautiful."

"I'm glad you think so."

"Well, as I understand it, it tells that just because we don't see things, doesn't mean that they don't happen. And that just because we think things are inconsequential, they are not."
I smile warmly at her.
"Like just reaching out a helping hand may seem inconsequential, but can change someone's entire life."

"Exactly. I know that a lot of people wouldn't think twice about abandoning you in that forest for being weird. And I know from experience how much travelling with you has done for you."

"Indeed. As a matter of fact, you're the only one I know who would have acted the way you did. Aside from one, perhaps..."
I nuzzle into her, then smile up lovingly at her.
"But hey, I think it went really well for you. After all, you got a god undyingly in love with you."

Then, I falter.
"Unless, of course, that is actually something that bothers you... In that case, wouldn't have gone well at all..."

"Xerath, I think it will be alright."
Then she blinks.
"Undying in which sense?"

"In the sense of eternal?"
I raise a brow at her.
"I am immortal... haven't I noted that before?"

"I guess I never noticed it... oh, that might not be good... You're young now, but what happens later?"

"No, I'm sure I did. I did tell you how I died but then came back..."
I then tilt my head at her question.
"What should happen later?"

"I... don't know, but as it stands I'm going to die one day. And you just said that's not what's going to happen to you."

"Indeed."
I look at her as if I can't see the problem. Because I can't. What is she getting at?

"So, if I die... won't that break your heart?"

I blink.
"Oh. Right. Yes, it would. But see, if you die. Because if you don't want to, you don't have to."

She blinks owlishly.
"Whu?"

I chuckle softly at her utterly adorable expression.
"Immortality is something incredibly hard to obtain for yourself... but scarily easy to give to others."

"That seems like poor design."

"Is it not the same with power in general?"

"I suppose..."

"A king can easily elevate a servant to a noble, but a servant cannot easily become king."

"So then... I could just ask, and be immortal? Along with currently the only other immortal around?"

"If that would be your wish, I'd be thrilled to grant it, yes."

"Huh..."
She seems shocked by this.
"I..."

Looks of panic and uncertainty flash over my expression.
"Leanna, I- ...did I... did I say something wrong...?"

"No! No, no no no."
She blushes.
"I guess... well, there are a few things I noticed about that."

I blink.
"Huh?"

"First and foremost... you're effectively asking me to spend literally an eternity with you, right? There's only one other thing I know of that does that."

"Well, you are the happy future I can picture, so, yes. I'm not asking for that yet, but I know that my feelings for you will never fade until I die. Which I won't, for as long as the Force exists. So, if it were your wish to spend eternity with me, I'd be most grateful and able to fulfil that wish."
I then tilt my head.
"And what is the other thing you know of you mentioned?"

"Well... immortality, it creates a divide between the people that have it and people who don't. Being mortal is... basically the only experience we all share, regardless of situation. What happens to people that... don't?"

"I... don't know. The only other immortal being I knew of was Valkorion. And he saw himself well above and beyond anyone else anyways... As for me, I haven't been truly immortal for that long, yet. All I know is that death rejected me all the time, so that I was bound to life, no matter what I do..."

"But... if you never wanted it, why go looking for immortality?"

"I didn't. Just like the power, it is something I never wanted, but got regardless."
Then, I pause.
"Although, that is not true in its entirety, I suppose... I did look for immortality, when the opportunity presented itself, but didn't get very far. Only when I reached this power I never wanted, I truly became ageless."

"I see. Then... where did you get it?"

"From Valkorion."

"Oh."

"Or Vitiate... or Tenebrae... whatever. From the evil god. I defeated him and absorbed his powers, and along with that his immortality."

"It's still weird to me that you absorbed his powers like a vampire or something."

I arc a brow.
"What's a 'vampire'?"

"Oh, uhhh..."
She thinks a minute.
"An immortal-ish monster that used to be human but is now driven by dark magic and drinking the life force of its victims. They're one of the folkloric products of Shadow magic necromancy - we're pretty sure they're not real."

"Huh."
I'd draw a hand to my chin if they weren't firmly wrapped around her.
"Well, I suppose that is somewhat similar..."

I look up at her.
"You see, I know an ancient and long-forgotten ritual called the Force Walk. It allows me to bind ghosts to me, either through a blood pact or through overpowering their mind."

She blinks, and I notice her moving away slightly.
"...ghosts?"

I nod, slightly disheartened by her reaction. I hide it pretty well, but there's a flinch in my expression regardless.
"Force ghosts. You see, from how I understand it, a person is made up of three things: The body, which is the vessel in this world, the mind, which is our cognitive thoughts and our consciousness, and the subconsciousness and conscience, which makes up our personality for the most part. As you can see, only one-third of our being is bound to the material world, while the other two parts can exist without it - if you are strong enough in the Force.
So, when a powerful Force user dies, and they don't want to join the Cosmic Force, they can linger in the form of ghosts. Many who reject death lose a great part of their personality and their mind, and/or fall asleep, but some manage to hold themselves together completely."

"That sounds terrible..."

I blink.
"Huh?"

"To endure forever with a broken mind..."

"Well, they don't exactly know that their mind is broken, or that something is wrong."

"But still..."

"Although, I have to say that it could also be that it was just the specific effect Dromund Kaas had on those ghosts, given it was the favourite playground of Vitiate... Because most ghosts I met outside of there were rather clear of mind."

"What might he have done to them?"

"Nothing in person, I think. But remember, that is the planet covered in an endless thunderstorm, because the effects of his presence there were so strong. I think that just may have been a side effect on the ghosts there as well."
Then, I release a breath with a warm smile.
"But you truly are a wonderful person, Leanna. And I love you for it."

She seems confused.
"Huh? What has that got to do with ghosts?"

"When I mentioned ghosts, you became uneasy... uncomfortable. But then, when I mentioned their state, you hurt for them, didn't you? Your... your universal love wants to help them, even if their topic made you uncomfortable. Thus, I can say that you are a wonderful person."

She blinks.
"Other people wouldn't feel something for those in pain?"

"Well, as I said, they're not really in pain. In fact, I think that they don't even feel pain anymore, because they're dead. That's at least what the ghosts told me."

"There are many kinds of pain, Xerath. You know yourself that lacking a body would only excise some varieties."

"I suppose that's true."
I nuzzle into her.
"But still, you are special. Your care is special. And I love you."

She smiles slightly.
"Thank you."

I smile at her.
"I don't think that's something that requires thanks, but you're welcome, I suppose."

"I prefer to thank people for things which they've done than not thank them."

"But what have I done, exactly?"

"The same kind of thing you say I do, Xerath. Make someone feel better."

I blush.
"Ah. I see..."

Then, she frowns.
"Or... if what I do really is as rare as you suggest, maybe that's a bad thing?"

"Well, usually, people have enough problems themselves to do that much for others. So, I believe that people like you are exceptional individuals. Individuals that can achieve great things."
I squeeze her. I do not wish to see her in discomfort like that.
"You may be a rare gem, but you make the world so much better for it."

Her smile returns. I'm glad.
"Do you want me to finish the massage tonight or not?

I can only blush again.
"...yes, please..."

She turns me back over, settling back into the placement of being seated on top of me, and returns to the task of turning me into relaxed goo.
Which happens almost immediately again. I sigh happily before that alien purring sound returns she somehow finds so cute.

"Oh, this does feel good for you, doesn't it?"
She can't resist cooing as though I'm a pet of some kind.

"...I've never before felt so relaxed... ...though I'd prefer it if... you didn't coo like I'm some kind of pet..."

"Oh! I'm sorry, you just sound like a cat. The little purring noise you make..."

"That's actually more of an insectoid sound, though..."

"It's close enough for me, at least."

"Just... on one hand, I'm happy that you find that cute - and by extension me, but I don't like it to be treated as a pet..."

"Yeah, I'm sorry... we don't really have a lot of aliens around here... So I didn't have a good example of something that made that noise other than 'lap cat'..."

"I suppose that's true..."

"It'll take a few days for me to really get used to the idea that a person can make that noise. Then it will just be a really cute Xerath noise instead of a cat noise."

I press my face into the pillow as I blush deeply. Despite that, my muffled voice is still heard clearly by her.
"...alright."

"...Does that make you feel better? Is it not good enough?"

"...it makes me feel better."

"Do I need to do more?"
She is dissatisfied with my answer.

"...then you'll see it as me being cute, not as me being a pet... That'll make me happy. In fact, the thought alone already makes me happier..."

"I don't see you as a pet, Xerath, just the noise as being of a pet."

"...but it feels as if you view me as a pet when you coo at me like that..."

"Like if someone made an... I don't know, the ding your holocomm does when you open it, what would you think of?"

I blink.
"Uhh... ... that is... I don't know..."

"It would be really hard not to open it, right? And it would take time to unlearn the association between the holocomm and that noise."

"... I suppose..."

"That the noise means 'friend' and not 'message'. It's kind of the same problem for me. I've spent a large part of my life learning that purring means a happy cat, and now it means a happy Xerath as well. So I guess some of the things I do with cats migrated over - and some of them worked. Why do you think I tried scratching your head earlier today?"

"I don't know. Because it's a calming gesture? I mean, I'm positive that I'd absolutely lean into any sort of caring touch you spoil me with."

I can hear the blush in her voice at that.
"Well-um, yes, I suppose that makes sense. Is scratching someone's head normal in your galaxy?"

I just shrug.
"I wouldn't know. ..."

"Oh, right..."

"...though Kory did like to comb my hair with her fingers, when we had the time..."

She immediately does the same.
"Well, I can absolutely understand. This is gorgeous stuff - we'll have to try and braid it sometimes."

I blush brightly into the pillow.
"...please don't..."

"Why not? I won't do it if you don't give me a reason to, but I want to know the specific reason."

"... I like this unruly mob of hair. Every strand is where it's supposed to be."

She laughs lightly.
"Okay, Xerath. I just thought you'd look nice."

"...so I don't...?"
I mutter into the pillow.
"...yeah... thought so..."

She blinks as she realizes what happened.
"Xerath! Tell me, if I had messy hair, what would happen to your opinion of me?"

I blink up at her sudden outburst.
"You'd... still be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen?"

"But with my hair neat and brushed as it is, what changes? There are several correct answers, so don't think too hard."

"You are even more the most beautiful woman I ever met?"
I sigh.
"I... I don't quite get where you're going with this. The difference is that I love you - my opinion is quite biased. You could wear rags and would still be the most radiant beauty I've ever seen..."

"Xerath, what I'm getting at is this - affecting your appearance isn't a binary pretty/not pretty setting, and saying you'd look nice with braids isn't the same as saying that without them you're human garbage. I said that you'd look nice with braids. I might even prefer them over this. This does not mean I think you don't already look nice. At least, to me."

I look up at her, a blush dusting my cheeks again.
"You... you think I look nice?"

"I do. You look quite attractive."

Then, some suspicion enters my gaze, bitterness creeping into my voice, even as my blush increases.
"...but how can you judge if I look nice or not when you haven't even seen much of me yet...?"

"Uhh... what kind of question is that?"
She looks strangely at me.

I look down again.
"You've only seen half my face, my hair, and the rough outline of my body so far..."

"Most people decide that without seeing someone naked. I can safely say that you look nice. If you really don't trust me on that assessment, we can do one of two things."

"I do trust you that it is your current opinion. But I'm afraid that it will change... Even if I never considered myself to be 'attractive', not even the parts I am comfortable showing... Anyways, what were the two things you mentioned?"

"Well then, I can either append 'based on what I see' to that sentence, or you could show me the things you're worried about and I could tell you either that you shouldn't have been worried because they look nice or that you shouldn't have been worried because just looking a bit nasty isn't enough to scare me away."
She smiles at me.
"It's your modesty, so it's your choice. Or you can just accept that it is possible for me to find you appealing to look at."

I fidget underneath her. I'm not nervous, but afraid. And I think she realises that too. This is not about me being modest, but about something else.
"I... I do trust you... but I don't think... that I'm ready to show you yet..."

"Then you don't need to."
She continues massaging me.
"I will accept responsibility for any secret you share with me. That is not me ordering you to share every secret - even if I feel that you'll be happier if you share this one with me."

"...I'll probably be... and you also probably won't react poorly to it... but still... I'm afraid..."

"And it's alright to be afraid."
Not for me, though. But I won't voice that.

"There already have been some that... said 'it's going to be alright'. That they wouldn't be disgusted by me..."
I tense all over again.
"Only seeing an arm proved that wrong."

She takes an arm in her hands, working them over my dense muscles.
"Well, from doing this I can already tell that scarring is part of it."

I flinch, eyes widening in horror as I didn't even consider that.

"But I won't pry. I know that feeling and seeing are very different. If you're this worried about it, what I might see will be very different from what I imagine."

My breathing, which was just about to increase, evens out immediately again. I close my eyes and relaxes a bit again.

"Mages get injured in the line of duty. That sort of thing just happens to heroes. Happened to me more than once - but I made sure to get it healed."
She sighs.
"Maybe I wouldn't feel the need to rid myself of such superficial damage if I didn't have to worry about looking like a happy little research mage for family visits every now and then. But I shouldn't make this about me."

She silences and continues her work. I would like to answer her, tell her that it's alright, but I can't find the strength to raise my voice. This just feels so good, and so relaxing, that I have trouble keeping myself awake.
Thus some time passes in silence, in which my breathing evens out. I am completely relaxed and am just about to fall asleep in her tender care, though I am still somewhat aware of the things happening to my body.
As she notices that I'm on the verge of falling asleep, she tucks me in, and then herself.
The last thought I have before drifting off into a dreamless sleep is of this blond angel in the room.