Strength of the Realm Found in Bonds: Lyanna and Steffon (297 AC)

Lyanna and Steffon snickered and chortled respectively as they hung in wait for their target from an alcove above the entrance to a very particular set of chambers. The mischievous twins had been planning this particular prank for quite a long time, the scope and complexity of which quickly began to outgrow their combined abilities to pull it off. Fortunately for them, with a few wise words from their Uncles Tyrion and Renly, they had exercised sufficient forethought to solicit favors from numerous select individuals in order to execute their carefully-laid plans.

Which is precisely why the guards and servants gave Robert no warning at all when he stepped into their trap.

"HAAAARRRR!" Steffon and Lyanna roared their fury as they dropped upon their father, a fishing net in the hands of the first and a bucket filled with days-worth of pasted fruit and vegetables in the hands of the second.

"RAH!" Robert thrashed too late, as he became quickly entangled by the more-than-man-sized net, the bucket's dripping, sticky, sickly-sweet and chunky contents spilled all over him from the head down, and the combined weight of his black-haired children brought him crashing to the ground.

"Hahaha!" "Catch us if you can!" Steffon and Lyanna leaped off and burst away from their now-raging father like the stag that adorned their House's banner.

"I'LL GET YOU BRATS!" Robert bellowed furiously after them. "JUST YOU WAIT!"

And with that, the first phase of their plan was complete, and now they could move on to the second phase, one which required a combination of both great daring and great care. Namely, they had to keep out of their very powerful and very enraged father's grasp while leading him to their next intended target – this meant they had to run fast enough to keep ahead, but slow enough that they didn't lose him.

Fortunately, their father had shed enough fat in recent years that they didn't pretend to be speedy to keep ahead.

"WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU YOUR CHILDREN'S CHILDREN WILL FEEL MY HANDS ON THEIR BEHINDS THE SECOND THEY GET SQUIRTED INTO THEIR MOTHERS!"

Unfortunately, their father had shed enough fat in recent years that they didn't pretend to be speedy to keep ahead.

"I'm starting to think this was a bad idea, Lya!" Steffon remarked as the two turned a corner around a guard and sped down a hallway.

"Of course it was a bad idea! But it was too fun not to try!" Lyanna responded.

"OUT OF THE WAY YOU DAMN IDIOT!" *Crash* went the guard that Robert barreled over.

"No, I mean that we might have overthought this bad idea into a stupid one!" Steffon opined. "I think he's gaining!"

The two, in lieu of keeping a limit on fast they could go so that they could lead their father by the nose, had been hoping they could rely upon superior stamina to ensure their lead. But they had forgotten that their father was once used to fighting for hours on end in heavy armor that had made him heavier than he was now, complete with a massive warhammer in hand. And right now, Robert had neither armor nor hammer to weigh him down.

But it appeared that their plan would proceed as plotted when they finally reached the hallway before their destination, and they put in an extra burst of speed to outstrip their father as they made a straight shot for the doors.

"GET BACK HERE YOU!" Robert bellowed as they made it to the doors and threw them open to thrust themselves inside, breathing heavily as they staggered away from the doors.

Strength looked back at them from where she was sitting with Jon Arryn and Joffrey as the two were breaking their morning fast. "So, what did you do this time?"

The twins gave each other a quick look right before they implemented the third phase of their plan – and suffice it to say that it could only be called genius if it worked. Otherwise, it was just the height of stupidity.

"Why not take a look for yourself?" Lyanna offered with a casual shrug.

Strength scrunched her face a little at that with a suspicious disposition, but got out of her seat anyway and approached the door. "This better not be another one of your pranks, you two."

She opened the door, whose thickness was quite good at muffling outside sound-

"WHOA!"

"AHHH!"

CRASH*

And allowed a surprised-again Robert to trip forward and fall flat upon a startled Strength, leaving a very wet and sticky and gunky mess upon the stone floor and all over both King and Doll.

And with their prank a success, the twins threw back their heads and laughed.

"Oh, gods, you two should see how absolutely ridiculous you look!" Steffon clutched his belly as he doubled over in his laughter (no one knew if this was something he did reactively or purposefully).

"Oh yeah, this is SO worth all the trouble we went through to make this work," Lyanna cackled, throwing Joffrey a wink in silent acknowledgement of his role in ensuring Strength's presence for pulling off their comic stunt.

"Trouble is right, you spoiled brats."

Their laughter very swiftly ceased as Robert returned to his feet and full stature, looming over the two while Strength growled and manifested her gauntlets. The predominantly red and green paste that the two had been slathered with might have looked comical while they were sprawled in a pile, but now they appeared as like predators from a fresh kill looking for their next meal.

It was enough to make the twins begin to regret even considering going through with this prank to begin with.

But then, a third voice chuckled. In confusion, the twins realized that it wasn't Joffrey, but Jon, who was leaning his head in his hand while he shook with quietly fond laughter.

"Oh Robert," Jon wistfully sighed (in relief?). "They really are your children. They really are…"