Crystalline Entity - Alternate Record

by Cpt. Lynx

This is the story of how Darth Imperius, the Emperor of the Eternal Alliance, found himself on Terra. Burdened by the ghosts of his past, will he be able to fulfil his purpose and find happiness, or will the darkness consume him? As a fair warning, this contains dark and mature themes in much greater detail than the other version, so discretion is advised.

9. Day 8: Leaving Embermyst

The vision has interrupted my rest somewhat, though not as much as A'den's intrusion, so I sleep until Leanna stirs awake. Eventually, she shifts slightly in my grasp, groaning as the first light of dawn hits her face. And me, being a very light sleeper, stir when she moves as well.
"Mmm..."

It is then that I realize again that she is in my arms, asleep. I blink fully awake at that realisation. For a moment, panic flashes through me. Have I done anything to her? Was it that time of the month again? No, there's no blood...
Ooh, right. My panic subsides and is replaced by a warm and loving expression as I remember the past evening. I gently brush a hand through her glorious hair and continue to hold her softly. I lie back down, trying my best to let her continue to rest comfortably, all the while I stare lovingly at her.

After what feels like way too short a moment, she opens her eyes and stretches in my grasp, speaking with an insanely cute, sleepy voice.
"Good morning, Xerath. Did you sleep well?"

I smile brightly at her, the smile warmer than the sun's rays.
"Good morning, Leanna. For the most part, I slept quite well. And you?"

She smiles as well, adorably rubbing some sleep out of her eyes.
"Just fine. You seem comfortable enough."

I smile amusedly, trying to ignore the warmth in my cheeks.
"Why thank you. It's funny how we were comfortable to sleep like this together, even while still wearing our armour."

"That is nice, isn't it?"

I gaze directly into her eyes.
"It is better than anything I could have imagined."

She smiles at me, mostly awake now, brighter than the sun.

I once more reach out a hand to brush her hair.
"Falling asleep with you like this... waking up like this... I don't know about you... but to me... it feels natural. Perfect. Like this is meant to be."

She inclines her head into my motion ever so slightly.
"I think it's rather nice. You're a pleasant person when you sleep."

I arc a brow, only half-serious.
"Are you implying I'm not a pleasant person when awake?"

"You also have trauma to deal with."

My face falls.
"Ah. Right. Fair enough."

"I'm happy to help, but seeing you without it... it's beautiful."

My smile picks up, being bashful.
"I... see..."

She moves to stand.
"We should be getting back, so we don't hold the others in limbo for too long."

I hold her back down.
"It's just the beginning of dawn. The others are still asleep."

I look at her... sort of pleadingly?
"Can't we stay for a bit longer?"

She glances at me, uncertainty shimmering in her sapphire blue eyes.
"Are you sure? Normally, starting as early as possible is a good idea..."

I nuzzle her.
"But you're soo comfortable..."

She slowly starts to smile, before her arms loop around my head.
"Alright."

I nestle back into her arms.
"Mmm... I love you, Leanna..."

She rubs my hair, humming lightly, beautifully.
"You were in a different position this morning. Did you dream about anything?"

"I do not dream. However, yes, I received a vision."

She arcs a delicate brow.
"Oh?"

I nod.
"It was an event in the past, I think. The vision showed me a civilisation incredibly powerful in the Force. As in, a normal citizen could easily overpower me."

"Oh. That's interesting..."
Her voice sounds more... concerned, however.

"I was shown some halls... of either a spaceship or a space station, I'm not sure on that, that seemed to be made out of pure Force energy made manifest. And inside those halls was a young boy, still a child. He was called Janus, and he had a headache seemingly coming from some form of vision himself or something similar. He met with a woman called Schala, who appeared to be his... mother, or guardian. Someone very close, at the very least."

Then, I notice something behind me. A soft glow of power.
I blink.
"Huh?"

I reach back behind me, finding a note atop the amulet I saw in the vision.

I blink again.
"That... that can't be... How?!"

I look between Leanna and the amulet.
"...impossible..."

The amulet, as it was in my vision, shines with beautiful and intricate Sorcery, and bears a simple symbol - two nested shapes. It also looks eerily similar to the rune of my power I gave A'den. I wonder why that is... However, it is yet inert - but I can guess that it carries defences both strange and mighty.

Leanna glances over at it.
"What is it?"

I shake my head and focus back on Leanna.
"Uhm... where... where was I? Right. So, this boy and this woman... they talked about something... a calamity... the boy called it the black winds... then the woman sang a beautiful song... and gave the boy an amulet with defences strong enough to ward away Valkorion with ease..."

I point to the amulet.
"She gave him that amulet."

Her eyes widen a bit.
"Oh. Why is it here?"

"I... have no idea. Though there's a note, so let's see..."
I finally pick up both the amulet and the note, reading it.

To whoever finds this,

I assume that if you are reading this... you've already been shown what it is and how important it is to me, at least in part - and that the Night has truly been pushed back by our efforts. I only regret that she was not there to see second twilight.
I would prefer to keep this until the end - she promised to be by my side always, and through this, she always was - even in the darkest of nights, the knowledge that she wanted me to succeed, not just because it would help save our world but because it would help me... it brought me through many things. But her kindness... has left a mark on me, and I can't let her end just because the galaxy is collapsing around me now that the battle is won. As dawn consumes us all... I cast her kindness into the future, for you - one who no doubt needs it as much as I always have.
Stay strong. If she believed in a child darkened so by nightmares that he couldn't manifest the simplest spells, she'd believe in you too.
Janus

My eyes glitter as I am moved by the trust placed in me by this ancient child. But that's not all. On the other side, something else is written - much more recent than the faded imprinting of Janus' message. I wipe at my eyes as I turn the page around.
"Huh?"

Son of my sons,
You have been moved far of late, and into a strange land. As I made my way back to you, I saw this - an artefact traversing the space nearby me. I shall send it to you as my herald - these things do not present themselves for no reason, after all.
I shall be with you soon,
Your distant kin

That lights my face up.
"Aww..."

I sniff.
"He really cares about me..."
I hug Leanna happily, burying my face in her shoulder.

Leanna returns the hug, smile broad with joy.

"Well, at least now I know why that amulet is here."
I take a moment to calm myself, but eventually, I can pull away enough to look at her.

She is smiling radiantly.
"Why don't you try it on?"

"Well... I do like the design..."
I do as she asked and put the amulet around myself, allowing it the peculiar space around my neck.
It gleams slightly, and then I am encased - the subtle touch of wards spinning into existence around me. Some I recognize the nature of - shields, telekinetics, Static Barriers are a few, but others are more esoteric.
I blink, but already feel the caring nature of the person that cultivated those defences. A soft smile forms on my lips.
"Thank you... Schala, Janus, and Aloysius..."

The object seems to remember those names, a soft ping resonating in the Force.

"But still... as moved as I am by this token... and the immense power within it, even if it is currently mostly inert... I am worried for the implications..."

"Hmm?"

I draw a hand to my chin.
"There once was a calamity... Janus called it the Night in the note... that destroyed their entire civilisation, even their galaxy, and quite possibly even more... so if the Force has sent me visions about them, and now even this amulet... then there is some meaning to it."

"Oh, yeah... that makes sense."

"And if it means what I think it means, we're in trouble. Big trouble..."

She frowns.
"Maybe it's relevant to something else?"

My eyes move rapidly, as I calculate the possibilities.
"Maybe... it could potentially have to do with the sword."

After a moment, I shake my head.
"Well, whatever. There's not much use to agonize over this now."

Then, I smile.
"But I do very much look forward to seeing Aloysius again."

She is happy with that.
"Have you had enough lying down, or do you need more cuddle time, Xerath?"

"I would always love more cuddle time, as I cannot get enough of you."
As if to prove my point, I cuddle up to her again.

She simply moves a hand to begin scratching my head, in this divine way only she could do.

"Krrrrrr..."
I lean into her touch.
"I love you..."

She smiles softly.
"You're very cute when you're happy, Xerath."

I blush a bit.
"Well... it's good that you think so, because you make me happy... And... well... I also feel very lucky to have you in my life. I mean, who else would be comfortable doing... this with me?"

"I'm sure you would've found someone eventually."

"I doubt it. I had the person I had such a connection with in my galaxy already. Chances of finding another one there... are not available."

She tilts her head most adorably.
"Where's the rule that there can be only one per galaxy?"

"So, yeah, I found someone eventually, and that was you. Many people go their entire lives without finding a soulmate, too. I was so lucky that I found two."

"Well... soulmate is kind of a weird idea to me, but I get the sentiment."

I tilt my head to gaze at her.
"Hm? How so?"

"Well, what does it mean?"

"I did tell you, that as soon as I met you, I had this feeling of deep-rooted trust. That after just some time, I just knew you'd never betray me. In your presence, I felt very similar to how I felt around Kory... However, in the general sense, it means that two people that are essentially meant to be with one another."

Her face sours in distaste.
"Well... that sounds a bit... arranged to me."

I shrug.
"It might to you. And perhaps it even is... as a lot of things are with the Force. After all, there are no such things as coincidences when the Force is involved."

"I believe I told you I didn't really like that idea."

"You did, yes."
I sigh and nuzzle into her.
"And... I don't quite know what to think about it, either."

She continues to pat my head.
"But we'll make the best of what we have."

I hum softly.
"Hmm... And these feelings... my love for you... they are my own. That I know."

She says nothing, only continuing to hold me.

I close my eyes and nestle into her embrace.
"I think... I have found my home now..."

She simply smiles warmly.

And so, we continue to lie there for a bit longer, as I feel completely at ease in her arms. My face seems even more peaceful than when I was asleep. When I sleep, it is simply neutral... but now, it is happy, content even.

"Is this good?"

Does she even have to ask?
"This is perfect. Just peacefully laying down in the arms of the love of my life? This comes quite close to paradise..."

"I do think we should get going soon, though."

I nuzzle her.
"Eventually. Or... do you want to get up?"

I look at her slightly worried.
"Am I tying you down?"

She shakes her head softly, dispelling my worries.
"No, no... I just think we should be getting to the others soon."

"I'm aware of their status. When they get up and prepare for breakfast, I'll let you know."

She nods.
"Alright."

"Are you just worried that we'd keep them waiting? Or would you wish to do something else until then?"

Her cheeks tinge slightly.
"I just want to make sure we aren't holding them up..."

"Well, given that I'll have to spend several hours later locked in meditation..."

She blinks.
"Ah, right. You should probably start that soon, though."

"Yes. After breakfast. But for now... I'm perfectly fine right here, right now."

She smiles.
"I think I got that."
There is a little squeeze.

"Good."
I smile up at her.
"Leanna, I love you."

I continue to relax in her embrace, idly reaching up to brush a hand through her smooth hair and caress her soft cheek. Eventually, however, even the best times have to come to an end, and I notice the stirring of our friends in the inn.
I sigh.
"Aww..."

Leanna looks up.
"They're waking up?"

"Yeah... So, we should probably begin to head over to the inn... to have breakfast together."

She smiles slightly.
"It's alright. Come on, Xerath."

I squeeze her.
"Aww... do we have to?"

I sigh again.
"Alright..."

She smiles, almost playfully.
"Don't worry. You'll get other chances."

Very reluctantly, I part from her and stand up. I smile at her, however.
"I really hope so."

As I stand, I reach a hand for her.
"Well, then, shall we go greet the others?"

"Yes."
She stands as well, seeming to bounce to the position. Then, before I can begin to feel disappointed she didn't take my hand, she scoops up my arm, pulling herself close.
"Let's go."

I smile at her.
"Alright."

And so, we set back off to the inn. Due to my timing, we should arrive around at the same time when the last of the others arrive at their table as well.
As we stroll along, I speak up again.
"Should I cloak us in the town again?"

She nods.
"Probably not a bad idea."

"Okay. Just tell me when and to where. Like, should I start cloaking us when we enter the town and drop it only at the inn?"
I smirk.
"I think we could surprise the others a bit like that."

"That's possible. Why not?"

"Or what did you have in mind?"

She slightly shakes her head.
"This is fine."

I nod.
"Alright. But I still love to hear your thoughts, you know."

"Well, my thoughts were boring. I just didn't think of anything."

I smile lovingly at her.
"Nothing about you is boring. At least not to me."

She arcs a brow as if to challenge my claim.
"How about the fact that I breathe air?"

I smirk.
"Not everyone does that."

She blinks.
"Really?"

I nod.
"Sure. There are alien species that do not breathe oxygen. Some breathe methane or ammonium, for example. And others live in the vacuum of space."

She cutely tilts her head.
"But those are air?"

"In the broadest sense of the word."
I pause as an idea comes.
"Actually, could you define air for me?"

"Matter which is not solid or liquid or solar."

"Ah. Well, we have that definition for gas. And in that context, you are correct. Under your definition, methane and ammonium would both be air. I have a different definition for air, however. Or rather, my galaxy at a large. Air is the specific gas mixture in an atmosphere. Be that on a planet, ship, or space station. And for the most part, that air is nitrogen centric, with oxygen as a second."

Her expression turns contemplating.
"Interesting. Well, I guess we're different there - Venestris is a planet filled with air to Esarian astronomy."

"Ah, the gas giant. Huh. Interesting indeed. But, yeah, as a planet it has an atmosphere, so you could also describe it as air under my definition. Even though you couldn't breathe there."

She nods.
"It is assumed that Venestris is not pleasant to be on."

"Heh. Yeah, that's one way to word it. Another way would be 'uninhabitable'."

Her eyes widen slightly.
"Ah, that's a neat word."

I tilt my head curiously.
"You don't have that yet?"

"No, there are only places that are difficult to live on Terra."

"Ah. Yeah, that's true."
I smile softly.
"You truly live on a beautiful garden world."

The light rises around us, sparkling off of the lake and across Leanna's features. I glance at her, get entranced, and begin to stare again.
"You know... a world as diverse and as magnificent as Terra... has only ever been subject to speculation... But it is no wonder that such a wonderful world gave birth to such a wonderful person."
I smile lovingly.

Her soul seems to sway within her. She has so much... it's no wonder some wants to spill over into the rest of the world.

I lean into her a bit - as much as I can while still walking.
"You are... just such an incredible and unique person, Leanna. I think you're not even aware of just how special you are..."

She brushes a lock of hair uncertainly.
"Maybe. What makes you say that?"

"Your light... your very presence. You and your people cannot see it... but it is there. I'm still not quite sure what it is... but... remember that mural in the temple? Where there was a bit of gold in the picture of the wind element? I have the suspicion that it could relate to you."

She sounds... sceptical.
"Oh. Maybe the mural was faded, and most things contained gold trim?"

"Perhaps. Though there was nothing indicating that."
I look at her a bit worried.
"Is that thought... concerning you?"

She slightly shakes her head.
"I'm... perplexed. Why me?"

I shrug.
"Now isn't that the question? I also asked myself the same thing countless times as well. I haven't found a suitable answer beyond 'because the Force' yet. But... if I were to hazard a guess... I'd say that you were given hidden powers of light because you're such an emphatic and loving person."

She blinks.

"Even without that light inside you... you're still very much a gift to the world."
I squeeze her hand a bit.
"And even more so a gift to me and my life."

She smiles slightly at me.

I return the smile and fall silent. I have said everything I wanted for now.

But Leanna seems to have more questions.
"So... what is it? If there's something there, doesn't it mean something?"

And I am always happy to answer, even if I don't have a concise one yet.
"It could. But your light is rather... elusive, as of right now, only bubbling up every now and then. So, I'd think that its presence means that you are meant to achieve great things, and bring much happiness and joy into the world. Which you already do, I might add."

"Huh..."
She mulls over the information, appearing uncertain.
"What do you think of it? Generally, people who have a magic 'trust me' vibe aren't to be trusted..."

"I think that you are the single most trustworthy person on this entire planet. But of course, I might be biased."

She smiles slightly, shakily.

I regard her with obvious concern.
"Are... you alright?"

"...I'm uncertain, but you... you helped, I think."

"Do... you want a hug?"

"I don't know..."
Her voice sounds downtrodden, her expression riddled with uncertainty.

"Hm..."
As adorable as she is, it pulls at my heartstrings and I'm obviously distraught to see her like this.
"Is there... anything else I could do for you?"

She contemplates my offer, trailing off.
"Hmm..."

"You know I would do anything for you..."

She blushes slightly in response.

I gaze intently at her, devoted to help her, but also patient to hear what she has to say.

"Maybe just some space for now..."
She takes a step away from me, dropping the arm she still held.
"I don't want to be... affecting you too deeply."

I already miss the feeling of her comfortable warmth.
"Okay... so, should I go ahead to the others then, and wait for your return? And... is this because of me? Have I done something wrong to upset you?"

She shakes her head.
"No, it's okay... I just don't think you can do much to help..."

She then takes a breath, her gaze drooping down.
"I'm worried... since you trust me because you just knew... what if you don't, but you do anyway? What if your sudden love was... manufactured?"

My expression softens.
"Leanna... even without the Force, I'm a very good judge of character. I can tell a lot about a person just moments after we met. So, I knew that you are an incredible person from the start. You are... very similar to Kory in your near-endless kindness, and I think that's what drew me in so fast. Among other things, of course."

"How can you be sure I'm not... corruptive?"
She is still worried.
"You could just think all that."

"How do I put this..?"
I draw a hand to my chin.
"I'm a god. Like... I'm a god. I could know you better than you do yourself. But I respect people's privacy and as such don't read your mind without permission. But even so, I don't need that to know you are the most pure person I have ever met since Kory."

I then sigh.
"You know... emotions are at their core made by chemical reactions in our bodies. So if those reactions are caused by normal means or if the Force had a helping hand... does it matter? So technically, our emotions are always 'manufactured' in a sense."

I glance away.
"Which is why I don't like to ponder on the deeper nature of those things... Anyways, I came to the conclusion that my emotions are my own. That was the case before, and that is the case now."

I look back at her in earnest.
"I love you because you are perfect in my eyes, Leanna. I love you because you are the loveliest, purest and most adorable lady I ever had the luck to meet. Not because someone or something told me to love you."

She takes in a breath.
"...Okay. I... think I believe you. Thank you."

I smile at her.
"Was I able to assure you a bit? I'm glad..."

I then arc a brow.
"Still, though. What makes you think that you could be corruptive? You of all people?"

"Well... are Force powers always... good for the person with them? Or are they always a way that the person thinks is good?"

I scratch my cheek.
"Generally, yes. People are always thrilled when they find out they have them. Well, either thrilled or scared, depending on where exactly they live. By that, I mean that many are scared at the prospect of having to go to Korriban. Which is understandable, really."

She nods along.
"That makes sense..."

I smile slightly as I think back.
"I know I was both. Both me and Kory actually. I mean, we were just two unimportant little slave children. And the Force gave us powers? We were like those heroes of legends? The prospect was... exhilarating, to say the least. But at the same time, we also heard the stories about the Empire, about Korriban. We didn't want to go there..."

My smile falls.
"But eventually, we had to."

"Yeah..."

I put a hand to my forehead and rub my temple.
"Anyways, does that answer your question? Or were you looking for something else?"

She nods slowly.
"I think so... so they're always at least in line with the personality of the person?"

I nod.
"Indeed. More adventurous people are thrilled at the prospect to join the ranks of the Jedi, or some also look forward to the Sith. More... reclusive people go out of the way of recruiters and just live their life untrained but with potential."

I smile at her.
"For example, if you were born in my galaxy, I'm sure you would have made an exceptional Jedi Knight- no, Master by now. I'm sure you'd be on the council and would have been able to help with some of the Order's ingrained problems... probably even brought on a reform."

I stare into the sky, gazing at the dawn.
"Who knows... maybe our meeting would even have enabled new signals of reconciliation..."

"I... don't think I could do all of that..."

I train my gaze back at her.

"I'd try, but... I don't think I'd end up that powerful. I'm just... me."

"You are. And I have absolute faith in you. As a matter of fact, with your swordplay alone, I'd consider you among the top ten duellists in my galaxy."
I gaze at her intently, holding a hand to my chin.
"Hmm... Yes... I think you could tie with Destra, actually."

She cutely tilts her head, arching a delicate brow.
"Destra?"

"One of the two battlemasters of the Jedi Order and a master on the council. A terrific duellist, if a bit hot-headed."
Then, my gaze softens as I smile lovingly.
"It is almost criminal that you cannot see it yourself... your presence in the Force is unique. And your personality already makes you a picture-perfect Jedi. Aside from the fact that you embrace your emotions instead of rejecting them, of course. But I think they are currently in some sort of renaissance."

"Rediscovery? What are they rediscovering?"

"Themselves. Themselves and their values, their tenets."

"Interesting."

"The war with Zakuul has... uhm... dealt them quite a blow and showed them the inadequacies of their thinking."

"Well, that's alright, then."

"Yeah. If you ask me, they had it coming. However, as I've never had the... best relationship with their order, I'm not too sure about their current situation. I let Oberon - my second in command - keep the contact with Tython. Anyways, yeah... when we first met, I thought you were a picture book Jedi Knight. That's why I have no doubt that you would have done incredibly well in my galaxy."

"Alright."
She smiles at me, her light shining once more.
"Maybe I would've."

I return the smile.
"Now that's the spirit. But you still haven't really answered my question from earlier, though."

She blinks.
"Which was? Sorry, I forgot."

I shake my head.
"No problem. I just wonder what made you think you could be corruptive."

"Well, it's an ability that affects your mind and influences you to love me, isn't it?"

"Well, yes, but actually, no."
I scratch my cheek.
"Sorry, that is unhelpful. Uhm... Well, yes, having Force powers inevitably affects your mind in one way or another. Just like having any form of power does to you. But it not really influences me to love you more, aside from the fact that I can see even more from you. There wasn't this large sign that read 'love me' around you or anything, if that's what you're worried about you."

She breathes a sigh of relief.

I smile slightly.
"I take it you are relieved by my answer?"

"Yes."
She steps closer again, grabbing my hand again and giving it a squeeze.

I squeeze back.
"Then I'm glad. So you feel better now?"

She nods.
"Yes. Thank you."

"Reassured that I love you because you're wonderful, and not because some Force told me to?"

She rubs a thumb over my hand, and it trails fire there.

I shiver pleasantly.
"I... I take that as a yes..."

I then fall silent, just enjoying her - luckily happy again - company as we walk stealthed towards the village.
Nox uses the silence to speak to me in our mindscape.
'Hey Xerath.'

'Hm? What is it, Nox?'

'That amulet... aren't you curious what it is capable of?'

'Only mildly. It's not very high on my list of priorities.'

The Dark Lord grunts.
'Hm. I see. Busy being lovey-dovey with sweet Leanna, huh?'

'Wh-'

Nox just shakes his helmeted head.
'No matter. When you get the chance, do you think you can poke it a bit? I can't exactly spare the resources right now.'

That makes me perk up.
'Oh? Is something wrong?'

Nox shifts.
'I'm... not quite certain as of now. All I know is that A'den's stunt has done some damage. We should be in the clear though... for now.'

I smile.
'Thank you for your work.'

He crosses his arms.
'Hmph. Just don't forget it.'

And with that, the dark presence disperses into shadows once more and I return my focus back to the outside world.

Leanna is smiling quite broadly, gazing out towards the rising sun.

I smile at her softly... and then lean over and peck her on the cheek.

She jumps slightly, but smiles at me.
"Feeling nice, are we?"

I smile shyly.
"Sorry... I'm just happy that you're back to smiling so broadly again."

She smiles brightly at me, rivalling the rising sun. She truly is a Dawn.
"And you can't be blamed for that."

I blink.
"I can't be blamed for... what, exactly?"

"Being happy someone is smiling."

"Ah. Well, I'm happy because you are smiling again. I noticed that as soon as you show the slightest hints of discomfort, I feel compelled to cheer you up again. To know that it worked... feels nice."

"Well, as your reward for your compassion:"
She gives me a kiss on the cheek, warmth blooming outwards from the point of impact as though my lack of self-worth was hit by a volley of proton torpedoes.

I actually stumble and have to pause, numbly reaching a hand up to my cheek.
"Uhh..."

I look blankly at Leanna, trying to process this overwhelming feeling assaulting me.

She grows worried.
"Did I do something wrong?"

Then, as I assess the emotions swirling through me, a blush is steadily growing on my face. I shake my head.
"No! No, not at all... Just... unexpected... and... overwhelming..."

"Well, you deserved it."

I smile softly.
"I'm... glad... and moved... that you think so."

I turn forward again, trying to mask my embarrassment.
"So, uhm... sorry that I kept us up. Let's go."

"It's alright."
She smiles at me, and warmth once more spreads across my face.

"..."
I am left speechless as we continue on our way.

One thing I do notice is that interacting with me seems to have brought this light closer to the surface of her psyche. Socially, she is no more warm than she'd normally be to someone as close to her as I am now, but... her mind seems to be reaching out to me at times, trying to hold me in a way I thought was impossible. I suspect that as I see her now is the mere bud of the flower she will become if her mind ever fully opens.
I smile softly to myself. I just hope I can be around when that happens...
But how would such a blooming occur? Force abilities awaken for a reason... what would her's be? Hmm... perhaps my hunch with the prophecy was right, and this rising darkness will be her reason. One wonders...
I ponder over this for a bit more, and so we make it soon to the perimeter of the village. And as I'm lost in thought, I remain silent as we walk through the light of the rising sun.

"You know, Xerath? You don't give yourself enough credit. You can be a ray of sunshine too, when you try."

I blink, then glance at her.
"Come again? Sorry, I was a bit lost in thought. What did you just say?"

She repeats herself, smiling blindingly at me.
"You can be a ray of sunshine too when you try. You don't give yourself enough credit."

I tilt my head.
"Well... I do have to, really. I'm the hope for my galaxy, so I have to shine like a star."

"But you're also just fine as a person."

I blink.
"I... am? Am I really?"
My expression is... sceptical, to say the least.

She smiles softly.
"You're just fine."

I still am doubtful.
"You say that to everyone, don't you?"

"I always believe it when I do."

"Of course you do."
I drop my gaze down.
"But I'm not such a good person..."

"What makes you think that?"

"You know, things... Things I've done... things I've said and thought. Things that I'm not quite ready yet to share."

"And even so, you seem intent on making the world a better place."

I shrug.
"Someone has to."

"Why not leave it to someone else?"

I shrug once more, helplessly.
"There is no one else. I am... destined for this role. This is my purpose."

"Why is it your purpose? Who chose you, and why?"

"The Force did. The people did. Basically anyone but me chose me for that. I do not know why, however."

"You didn't want it. Why is that?"

I still don't meet her gaze.
"I told you what my dream is, didn't I?"

"To just live away from all the carnage. A good life, with a nice person, away from anyone who might hurt you. That isn't the normal profile of a leader, Xerath. The reason you were picked is because a normal leader was not what they wanted. They didn't want someone to rule them, they were looking for someone who would do everything to get that life with minimal possible damage to his heart."

I nod.
"Indeed."

I glance at her with a hollow expression.
"And yet not once did anyone ever bother to ask what I want. Not once. As such, I have become the person I need to be, not necessarily the one I am at heart."

Her gaze holds no accusation, only soft concern.
"They didn't. So why didn't you abandon them?"

"I didn't exactly have the opportunity so far. I do have it now, though."

She only frowns sadly, and gives my hand another squeeze.

I look at her gratefully, but can't quite bring myself to smile.

"Still... I believe in you. You are a good person, and your circumstances haven't destroyed that."

"Of course you would say that. You see the good in everyone, after all."

Her expression slowly sets with determination.
"And one day, I will make you see the good in yourself."

Now I can smile slightly.
"Well, then I look forward to that day."

"You will see how beautiful you are."
There is a powerful determination in her voice as she says this.
"I won't let you keep hurting yourself."

I am abashed by her expression.
"I'm not... I'm just realistic..."

"I've seen 'realism' go hand in hand with pessimism all over, Xerath. You deserve hope, love, and to know that you mean something."
She leans in and gazes deep into my eyes.
"Remember when I said that people can value their lives and themselves highly despite lacking any traits that would cause the world to call attention to them?"

"Of course I do."

Her eyes shine like glorious sapphires into mine, affection apparent in them as her breath tickles my lips.
"That's a good thing. Without all your deeds, without all your powers, without anything that makes you special in the way that causes the Force and your galaxy to care who you are, you are valuable, Xerath. You deserve to have each of your needs met, and to have the life you dream of. And if no one else believes that, I WILL. While I stand, you should never have to feel alone again."

My eyes tear up a bit.
"Leanna..."

I can't help but throw my arms around her.
"... thank you..."

She pulls me into a deep, luxurious hug.
"You don't need to thank me."

Her hands slowly massage my back, gentle motions caressing tense muscles.
"I enjoyed saying every word of it."

I practically melt into her.
"... ...I... I don't know what to say to that..."

"That's alright. Like I said, you're precious, just by being yourself."

I lean into her and rest my head on her shoulder. A quiet sob escapes my lips and reaches her ear.
"... I love you... so much... Leanna..."

Headscratches, backrubs, the soft feeling of her body against me, radiating warmth, love, and everything else I could want. I can sense the soft pulse of her soul against mine, its approval and love for me readily apparent. I can hear her heartbeat, slow and soothing next to my rushing hum, encouraging me to slow down and enjoy. I can feel the weight of her love in the way she touches me, how even now she devotes effort into finding better ways and better places to comfort me with.
I am about to chit again, but my breath hitches. I become fully overwhelmed by the sensations and find myself pressing into her shoulder as I can't hold back tears anymore. I sob silently and tremble violently. So much is going through me in one moment that I just don't know how to handle it, that I can't handle it.

But she just continues to hold me, unperturbed, giving comfort as easily as she breathes.

It takes some time before the trembling stops, and even more before my tears stop flowing.
Eventually, I rest my head upon her shoulder. I whisper, my voice weak and hoarse.
"... thank you..."

Her voice is as soft and soothing as her smile.
"You're always welcome."

I hold onto her closely.
"...Thank you... Love you..."

Even now, her work does not relent, waiting for me to say that I have had enough. Waiting for me to state that I feel better now. No assumptions are acceptable.
I wonder if she feels how... parched I am for this kind of affection.

"I'm..."
I clear my throat to get my voice back under control.
"Ahem. I'm... so glad... to have you. I... never have felt so... validated before..."

Her voice is both soft and firm.
"That is a crime on the Force's part."

"Perhaps... Maybe I'm just a bad god..."

"If you tell me what you've done I can lay your fears to rest, but until then, my arms and heart will be open."
She smiles welcomingly at me.
"And you are always welcome."

I tear up again and smile shakily.
"And you continue to wonder why I love you so much?"

"Kinda seems like it loops back upon itself, doesn't it?"

I chuckle weakly.
"It would appear so."

"Well, don't you worry about it."
She nestles my head into her neck, and I can't help but breathe in her gorgeous scent...
She smells so alive, so loving, so...
relaxing...

I close my eyes and just focus on her. My breathing calms down back to normal, and so does my heart rate.
"Mmm... do we really have to go back, though? My timing is now ruined, anyways..."

"Eventually we should. But we can take our time."

I take a deep breath... of her.
"I just... want to stay like this... forever..."

"I can't give forever, but a little while every day works out fine."

I nuzzle into her neck.

"You'll have the love that you've been missing. Just... relax."

Her left hand moves back and forth, playing across the sensitive areas hidden by my hair. Even as it is sublime in sensation, it is calming too. Like... after a long day in a mine, having a bath that is only pleasantly warm to soak away all the sand. A luxury I never experienced, yet here it is - but the sand isn't sand, it is my pain. Which is about ten percent worse.
"Krrrr..."

The soap and the jets stroke softly over my skin, softening the callouses of the years and washing the sand away. I feel so dirty, yet cleaning is taking place. I can even believe that one day my skin will be as untainted as the day I was born.
No more sand.
No more pain.
Only love.
Only Leanna.

"Leanna..."
I hug her tightly.
"You're everything I need... And everything I want... I love you."

I feel the weight of her soul shift ever so slightly when I speak, striving for just that little bit more contact area. I see how her smile brightens. I can believe she does love me, and that she could be in love with me.
And that thought makes me squeeze her just a bit tighter, my emotions flare just a bit brighter for her. But even as I begin to hope again, I temper myself with the limited patience I have. Leanna wanted time to figure it out for herself. And I will do my best to give her that time. And so, I can only continue to hold on to her silently.
And so do I float, perfectly buoyant in the water and foam, only my face sticking out of the bath.

Eventually, I speak up again.
"We... probably should get back, huh? The others... might grow suspicious..."

She nods.
"Yeah... you feel better?"

"I... can confidentially say that I do. However... this... wasn't enough..."

"What do you need, Xerath?"

"More of it. Much more..."

I then notice another part of her scent I ignored before. Leanna smells... fertile, motherly. She smells of enough potential life to grow crops for an entire sector...
And she is centimetres away...
NO! Not yet!
I have to physically push myself away from her to ban those thoughts before they can take root.

Leanna blinks.
"Are you alright, Xerath?"

I blush.
"I... uhm... err... I noticed something... I was- am not quite ready for..."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"To be honest, I don't even want to think about it."

"Alright."

"This... uhm... will be a thought for a later time... perhaps... hopefully... maybe..."

"Alright. Well, let's get going, okay?"

I nod, still flushed.
"Yeah..."

She smiles at me.
"Come on, Xerath."

I just blush harder again.
"...yeah."
I walk on ahead, unable to look at her properly right now.

She frowns, but doesn't press me.

This time, I luckily have enough topics I can focus my thoughts on, so that the new realisation can be pushed back to the farthest back-shelf.

And soon, we arrive in the town, as the people there have begun to go out for their days.
Still cloaked, the people do not notice us at all. By now, I have ordered my thoughts enough to fall back in step with Leanna.
"So... ready to surprise our friends?"

"I think so."

I arc a brow.
"You think so?"

She nods.
"I do."

"Alright. Then let's go into the inn."

We do this. Keeping tabs on their locations, I know where my group is seated immediately. I still look at them first before strolling over to them and make sure that Leanna has found them as well.

"They'll be here soon."
Kara smiles.
"There's only so much morning canoodling two people denying they're in a relationship will do before they arrive."

I choose this moment to drop out of stealth and calmly take a seat beside them.
"You interpreted the reason for our stay outdoors completely wrong, Kara. But that was to be expected."

Everyone except her is surprised.
"Oh, and I'm sure that's why you walk like you've been hugging for the past thirty minutes."

Zack jumps.
"What?"

Amelia blinks.
"Interesting."

I blush slightly and smile sheepishly at the others.
"Morning guys."

Then, I look back at Kara.
"While, yes, Leanna and I did hug... plenty this morning, it was for different reasons than you assume."

"Oh, I'm sure."

"Kara, we're not like that!"
Leanna now appears as well.

Kara smirks at us, then invites Leanna to sit.
"Well, since you all were such good sports in the temple, breakfast is on me today. I made sure to order for you two as well, so it should be out soon."

Leanna smiles at Kara.

I smile at her as well.
"Thank you, Kara. That's quite thoughtful of you."

"No problem."

As she promised, breakfast soon arrives. And being quite hungry again, I methodically decimate my food.
Soon enough, it is over. Evidently from the others' silence, the Vestans know how to make food.
I smile lightly.
"It seems you liked breakfast."

Leanna nods.
"Yes. It was good."

"Alright, then. I'll remember it."
I turn to Kara and the other two.
"And you?"

Amelia nods.
"It was an acceptable meal."

There is agreement.

I'm not quite satisfied with that answer.
"Hmmm... Would it be something you'd like to eat again, though?"

Kara nods.
"Yeah, sounds fun."

I smile again, slightly.
"Alright. Then I'll book it under food you liked. Got it."

"Okay?"
Amelia looks over to Kara.
"Meaning he means to make it again, I believe."

Then, I stretch my arms over my head, and turn to Kara.
"Yeah. Something like that. You weren't around when that was a topic last time, but I wanted to find out what the favourite foods of everyone is. And I was just curious if this one should be added to the list. Anyways... I can sense that you're still not exactly convinced by us, Kara. I do not want you to have a wrong image of us, so what would you require to know until you believe us?"

"I'm just not used to it, sorry. I'll be fine."

"Hmm... if you say so."
I sigh.
"Still though, your guys' curiosity on why we did spend the night outside of the inn is as clear as a crystal."

"I would like to know that."

"Well, alright. To put it simply, I found that room..."
I glance away.
"... to be not up to my standards."

That replaces Kara's teasing expression with a confused one.
"You didn't like it? Why not?"

"It..."
I scratch my cheek.
"I'm not a fan of such large shared rooms."

I then sigh.
"To be precise, it brought up some unpleasant memories from my childhood."

Leanna squeezes my hand under the table.

Kara shrugs.
"Alright. That's alright."

I smile slightly.
"Okay... It's just... I don't want want to dodge those topics all the time. I do want to be forward and honest with you guys. Just some things... will take a bit of time until I'll be able to tell them freely."

Kara smiles at me.
"Don't worry. It's not like no one else has secrets. Isn't that right, Zack?"

Zack blinks.
"What are you talking about?"

I blink as well.
"Yeah, I'd like to know as well."

Kara moves cleanly onto the next thing.
"So, does anyone have anything to do before we leave?"

I sigh.
"I do not appreciate being ignored, but whatever. Do you mean leaving the inn or the village?"

"The village."

"I see. In that case, yes, I actually have some trapped souls to free. We wanted to meet back with Issim, right?"

Amelia nods, her small smile belying her excitement.

I rise to a stand.
"Alright then, let's get to it then. This will take long enough already. Are we ready to head over?"

With meals done, everyone stands up.
"Let's go."
"Excellent."

And so, we head over to Professor Issim's hut.

The professor is out tending to a frontal garden. He smiles at us as we approach.
"Hello again. How are you feeling this fine morning?"

I smile.
"Good morning. Personally, I have... mixed feelings. But I'm well-rested, at least."

"Well, that's alright."

The others mention their own feelings, and minor back and forth ensues before he invites us inside. All in all, everyone is feeling good. I'm glad.

Amelia sits and instantly gets to the point.
"Your notes."
She hands him a large amount of papers.

"Ah, thank you very much."

The amount is much more than the notes she had on the way to Embermyst.
I arc a brow.
"Those... aren't the ones from the Academy, are they?"

She nods.
"Those are the ones he lent me to copy."

I blink.
"...When did you do that? No, actually, scratch that. When did you sleep?"

She regards me with her blank expression, but her intelligent eyes seem duller than usual.
"I did not. I intend to rest on the crystalrail we will be taking later today."

"We still have half a day's march through the forests until we get there, though."
My expression shows my concern.

"That will be alright."

"And besides, I will take a while... but I suppose you don't want to rest now and pass up the chance to talk more with the esteemed professor, do you?"

She shakes her head.
"No, I do not."

I sigh.
"Alright. Just... I could have copied those notes for you too, you know? Though I suppose that you also have memorized them through the process, which I assume also was your goal... correct?"

"That is correct. The action of copying helps me study."

"Indeed. Just... make sure to get enough sleep. That is incredibly important."

She nods.
"I am aware."

I smile slightly.
"Good. Now then, I best get started."

I turn to Issim.
"But I believe that you wanted to hear my course of action first, right?"

He nods with a smile.
"Indeed."

"Alright. So, my first thought was to rewrite the spell itself. But since it is my goal to let it appear unchanged, and I don't know how local mages see the spell, I decided against that."
I smirk slightly and lean forward.
"Instead, I'll focus on weaving spells underneath the curse that work on preventing it from functioning, as well as imitating its function."

He arcs a brow.
"I see. Interesting."

I nod.
"And I also thought about adding a mechanism to bring the entire thing down once the people in this village are ready to do so."

He rubs his chin and slowly nods along.
"That seems like it wouldn't be the worst idea."

I arc a brow.
"But you also don't sound too thrilled, either."

"I don't think it matters. When the people want to tear down the forest, they will do so. It has always been a project decades away if they started today, but it is doable."

"Yes. And I'm talking about the option to tear the curse down at the push of a button."

"So it doesn't really matter. Please, don't inconvenience yourself."

I tilt my head.
"When I'm going to do this, I'll do it correctly. Besides, my spells would be much harder to clear than the old curse. I wonder... if I could add a decaying factor in case the curse gets broken?"

I draw my hand to my chin.
"Hmm... I'm beginning to see why you view spells like formulas."

"It is a generally useful framework, if nothing else."

I nod.
"Indeed. And an interesting point of view. Well, that is about my planned course of action. Do you have any questions or insights you'd like to add?"

I glance around.
"Or anyone else, for that matter?"

He shakes his head.
"I do not have any questions you could answer."

That raises an eyebrow from me.
"Oh? Well, now I'm curious."

"How is your spell constructed?"

"Hmm... you mean how I cast?"

He nods.
"I am asking about the construction of the spells, yes."

"Hm, let's see... I... visualise the results I want to happen... and channel the power to make it so."
I droop my head slightly.
"Yeah, I can see why you said I couldn't answer that."

"Do you want to get started, then?"

"I'd better, I suppose."
I smile at Issim and the others.
"Have fun."

I then fold my arms, lower my head and close my eyes, sinking into a deep meditation.
Once again, Kairos' atrocity presents itself to me, gleeful and crude as a politician thumbing his nose at the suffering.
First, I analyse the curse's structure again, to make sure I can exploit every weakness and hook to weave my spells. And luckily, here on Terra ancient usually means less effective, in contrast to our ancient superweapons. Working against this curse won't be a problem. Thus, I work to set my plan into motion. I begin with the illusion that nothing is changing - spectres that haunt the people in the forest. Simple illusions, easy. Then, the prevention of new souls getting trapped in the forest. And lastly, I free the ghosts themselves.
Once everything is in place, I also add the mechanism I told Issim about. A dormant spell that would cause the dissipation of both the curse and my other spells, once it receives a very specific signal.

This entire process takes hours upon hours, yet to me feels like a matter of minutes. I am focused and determined to free these people. They have suffered and endured for far too long, so may they find respite in the Force.
And as I work, I hear Leanna's words:
'You can be a ray of sunshine too.'

That thought, as well as the imagination of her smile when I succeed...
I smile slightly as I continue to focus.
Being extra careful to operate undetected, it takes quite some time. But eventually, I get it done. The trapped souls are free and the world will be none the wiser.
I retract from my meditation and exhale proudly. Another job well done. I lift my head and open my eyes.

"-and it is for that reason I propose we ban crabs!"
Kara appears to be finishing a speech.

I completely unfold and blink at Kara.
"...what did I miss?"

She snickers. Amelia turns to me.
"Kara noticing you were emerging from your torpor and deciding to mess with you."

"Ah, I see. Thank you for clearing that up."

Kara frowns slightly, but also smiles.
"Well, welcome back to the land of the living."

Leanna nods.
"You did take a while. We had lunch an hour ago."

I smile as well.
"Thanks."

I then blink at Leanna.
"How long was I away, exactly?"

"Just a few hours. Welcome back - you were missed."

I blink again.
"I was?"

Amelia nods.
"Your insight could've been valuable for several topics. I would've appreciated hearing from you."

Leanna smiles.
"But it's done, right? They're free from suffering?"

I smile as well.
"Indeed. My plan went off without a hitch. Those souls are free at last. That reminds me..."

I turn to Issim.
"In what manner would you like the trigger to bring down the curse?"

"I would think that the most logical choice would be a great show of fire magic... a kilometer above the village. Something that requires the consent of most everyone to achieve."

"Hmm... so a large signature of fire magic above the village, yes? Alright, I think I could incorporate that. Just a moment..."
I close my eyes again and edit the trigger for the mechanism to what Issim requested.
After a moment, I open my eyes again.
"There. A large signature of fire magic in that height will bring down the curse and my spells."

He smiles widely.
"Excellent. When we are done here, I will inform the elders of the change."

I nod with a smile of my own.
"Yes, please do."

I then stretch.
"Soo... I missed lunch?"

Leanna produces a bowl of soup.
"You want some? We'll need to warm it up, but it is good."

I look at it hungrily.
"Yes please. I held back at breakfast already, and since I just spent a considerable amount of energy, I could use a bowl or three."

She places it in my lap.

I smile at her.
"Thank you."

I then dig in. I still eat quite refined, but a bit faster than usual. I really am hungry, after all.
Leanna smiles at me the whole while, her attention making me feel both calm and nervous at the same time.

It doesn't take long for me to empty the bowl, even somewhat distracted by this radiant smile.
"Do you happen to have some more?"

She picks up some fruit.
"No more bowls, but we do have more."

"Hm..."
I glance at the fruit calculatingly.
"Based on my estimations... that won't replenish enough energy to last until dinner."

I contemplate just refilling the bowl myself, but ultimately decide against it.
"But it's better than nothing, I suppose."

She sounds guilty.
"I'm sorry if it's not enough."

I shake my head.
"It's alright. This one's on me that I didn't take seconds at breakfast, anyways."

Leanna stands up.
"Come on, let's get you some more."

I stand up with her.
"Alright. Thank you."

I turn to the others.
"I doubt this will take long. We'll be back shortly."

They nod. Amelia returns to quizzing Issim about temporal rifts.

I then leave with Leanna.
"So, what did you have in mind?"

"Well, there's a small market in Embermyst. Want to go there?"

I shrug.
"We could do that. Now that we're outside, I also simply could replicate the soup you gave me."

She blinks.
"Oh, do you want to do that?"

I shrug again.
"It would be the fastest way. I didn't want to just pull out soup out of thin air in front of the others, but it is doable for me. But of course, if you'd rather 'support the local economy', we can do that instead."
I smile teasingly at her.

She smiles at me.
"We'll do what you prefer at the moment."

I just sigh. It is as unhelpful as it is beautiful.
"Alright, more soup it is. I did say that it shouldn't take long. And I'm quite curious to what topics Amelia wanted my insight on."

She nods, still smiling.
"Sounds good."

I then promptly replicate the soup I ate earlier, filling the bowl again.
"Want to sit down somewhere?"

She nods again.
"Sure."

I look around, then sit down at a suitable place a bit away from the paths.
"Say, Leanna..."

She glances at me, brushing a strand of glorious hair behind her cute ear.
"Hmm?"

I gaze intently at my bowl, then up at her.
"How are you feeling right now?"

She smiles at me, then gives me a hug.
"Thank you for helping those people."

I smile and lean into her.
"No problem. It's what I do. Or, well, at least try to do. But that was only part of what I meant to refer to."

She adorably tilts her head.
"Oh?"

A slight blush dusts my cheeks.
"Well, with our sleeping arrangement last night... I... don't think you're the type of woman who'd just sleep in anyone's arms like that..."

I scratch my cheek.
"So I wondered... how you feel in that regard."

"I... thought it would help you. It wasn't a problem, I trusted you, so why not?"

I shift my gaze back into my soup, as if it holds the answer to my hopes.
"Hm... I see."

"You also weren't the least comfortable place to sleep."

My blush becomes more prominent.
"I... see... Well... uhm... but you still remember the meditation technique I showed you a bit ago, right?"

"Yep."

"Because it's important to do that every now and then. Emotions can shift faster than you'd think, and it's imperative to always be aware of them. Of course, that is only my opinion on that, though."

"Don't worry."
She smiles softly.
"I don't need to be reminded to check whether I like someone I want to help."

I smile shyly.
"Good... Just... making sure."

I pick up my spoon and begin to eat again. I systematically decimate the soup once more, still rather hungry.

She speaks up again, her wonderful voice carrying some of the worry that is reflected in her expression.
"How are you feeling, though? I get the feeling you wouldn't ask if you were in a particularly patient mood."

I poke the soup with my spoon, taking a moment before replying.
"It's... complicated. I won't lie, part of me asking was just for you to hug me because I cleansed the forest."
I smile guiltily.

She softly shakes her head and smiles.
"That's alright. You need hugs."

"Still, to receive your gratitude... feels even better and more special than receiving anyone else's gratitude."

Her smile widens.
"Well, that's nice to hear."

I smile at her and return to my food. My smile drops when I gaze intently into the bowl.

She grows worried again.
"What is it?"

"Well, that was only part of how I feel. The rest is... complicated."
I fall silent again and eat, contemplating my words.
Just when I know Leanna thinks I won't respond, I speak up again.
"I... feel restless, I suppose. Worried and restless."

"How so?"

"Terra... is just so incredibly peaceful. The calm is getting to me, I suppose."

She arcs a brow.
"That's a bad thing for you?"

I nod slowly.
"My mind... I've been operating under danger and pressure for so long... that it's rather difficult for me to adapt to this. I mean, I've gone by almost a week without killing anything without being scooped up in my ship. That's a new record. So, the longer this goes on, the more it feels like something will go awfully wrong, because it always has. That's why I feel restless. And worried? Well... it's tied... I think I did mention that my mind was operating near its limits, yes? And, well... A'den's visit... did not help matters. Nox is currently investigating this, so sometime today he should have an estimation on how bad it is."

She puts a hand on my shoulder, warmth and comfort radiating from the touch.
"Well, you tell me if I can help."

Unfortunately, it is not enough. I arc a brow.
"Do you have a target to liquefy? Or know someone who can repair my mind?"

She frowns.
"If I can help."

"Alright."
I go back to staring at the steadily emptying bowl. And once the bowl is empty, it is refilled again, and the process begins anew.

It takes a few minutes of silence before she speaks again.
"I hope it isn't too bad... living under pressure for the rest of your life would be horrible..."

I shrug.
"You get used to it."

"People can get used to a lot of things. That doesn't mean there isn't a better way."

"True."
I finally glance up at her.
"However, it takes a conscious effort of both me and Nox combined to keep my mind operational. And we noticed that it is getting more difficult since coming here."

My head droops again.
"It seems I'm not fit for peace anymore..."

I chuckle weakly, darkly.
"I mean, since coming here... I fought against the entirety of one small bandit group. I haven't even been jumped by any predators - not counting Ceru. That's... so unusual..."

I glance back up at her.
"You know, in the past thirteen years..."

My expression turns contemplating as I calculate something.
"I was in about five fights per day on average."

She puts an arm around me, seeming sad.
"We'll get you peace."

I frown.
"But what if that kills me?"

I blink, can't help the dark chuckle.
"That would be quite ironic, huh?"

She blinks.
"What?"

"I meant it literally when I said it takes a conscious effort of Nox and myself to keep my mind together."

"Oh."
She is now very worried.

"...Yeah. Let me tell you, toppling a god is not easy. Especially one as vile and cunning as Valkorion was. And, well... you always argued against me when I told you I was broken..."

She looks alarmed, ringing with words.
"That... wasn't what I meant... I've never seen psychological damage like that."

I smile slightly.
"I know. I would be quite worried if you had."

Then, my smile drops and I hang my head.
"But even so... the fact I feel so restless due to a lack of combat..."
I chuckle darkly, mirthlessly.

She wants to speak, it's obvious, but she can't find the right words.
"..."

"For someone who claims to be a peaceful man to experience withdrawal symptoms from fighting..."
I chuckle some more.
"It's quite ironic, isn't it?"

"I suppose..."
She pauses, pondering over what to say.
"...but I don't believe your scars are insurmountable. Going back to war... I don't want you to have to do that."

As she speaks, she takes the momentum out of my rising despair and I fall silent for a moment.
My head droops and I speak eventually.
"I... am rather conflicted on this. Like, I fundamentally hate war still... but have come to find enjoyment in it, too... as macabre as that is."

"You'll find a way to heal. The first thing you need is to cry."

I shake my head slowly.
"This damage... I fear it is beyond healing."

I glance at her.
"I am no stranger to a decaying mind. I have been in a similar situation before... but even the ritual I used back then would not be enough to repair the damage now. Not even Nox and I combined are powerful enough to fix my mind."

"I don't know how to heal souls, but I do know a bit about healing minds. And I know that minds only retain damage when the thing that is hurting them continues to do so."

I look away again, staring into the bowl that is empty by now.
"... I am at my limit, Leanna. Either I can learn to live with it, and keep my mind in its current state... or I will cease to be."

She puts an arm around my shoulder and pulls me in for a hug.
"What caused this to happen to you?"

I hesitate for a moment, resisting her, but allow her to pull me in eventually.
"...Valkorion. He... shattered... my mind in an effort to take over my body. But luckily... he did not account for Nox..."

"Alright. Can you explain how it felt?"

"It didn't. At least, not at first..."
I stare ahead with empty eyes.
"I remember... blackness- nothingness... and then I came to be again in some strange lands... I couldn't remember anything... nothing at all. I only heard some disembodied voice and felt power in my veins."

She patiently listens, stroking the back of my head.

"This voice... guided me onwards... and I faced some monsters with this power I felt. Each enemy I struck down, it felt like I was regaining a part of myself. Eventually, the voice revealed himself to be Nox, who told me that with my mental strength, I had taken on the mantle of Valkorion himself to shield at least a part of my mind."
I smile slightly.
"From then on out, I remembered. Nox and I worked together, he returned to my side, and we approached Valkorion. As we faced him, we were also joined by his family, and together, we defeated him. His mind... was bested. And not going to take any chances, I used a specific ritual I know to bind his ghost to me, basically absorbing his power and erasing his being."

Her face scrunches in concentration, racking her brain.
"Okay. I think... we should start by trying to remember what happened in the black. I don't know if there will be anything there, but if there is... knowing that would help us."

I shake my head.
"There isn't. That was the end of my mind. And, well, even if there was something, it's nothing I could perceive, as I ceased to exist in that moment."

"No, that's not how that works. If your mind is gone, there is nothing to damage, and nothing to repair. Nox could not restore something that is gone."

"In that moment, my mind was shattered, Leanna. Even if the pieces were still there, the thing they made up ceased to exist in that moment."

Her eyes widen slightly, before she returns to a thoughtful expression,
"Oh... then wouldn't some of the pieces have memories?"

I shake my head again.
"They are back in place. But all of them suffered the same thing I did. Or the peace that held the last fraction of my consciousnesses."

"Still, I think you should try. Unless the damage is metaphysical only and has nothing to do with your psychology, there should be something there."

My growing exasperation is audible.
"Do you think I did not try already? Why do you think I can tell you with such certainty that there is nothing?"

She remains unbothered by my attidute, if still worried.
"So then it has nothing to do with your mental state?"

I just sigh.
"Either I fail to explain it properly, or you fail to understand."

"Or is it to do with the thing the mind runs on?"

I blink.
"What do you mean?"

"The way Terra understands damage to the mind is this: in order for trauma to exist, there must be a memory of it somewhere. Perhaps it is hidden, but it is present, it must be to affect the mind."

"Ah. Right."

"So either this is more like damaging the physical brain than that, or you should have some form of memory about the event that continues to hurt you?"

I shake my head once more.
"Neither. My biological brain has remained undamaged. What has been shattered is my mindframe. The mindspace, so to speak. My thoughts, my very being."

"But which is it more akin to? Either damage occurs and remains, or must continue to be done to it in order to be felt. Or is there another option?"

"The damage occurred and remains. But of the event that caused this damage are no memories that remain."

"Then it is more like a brain, and requires dedicated repairs."

"Which are impossible. Take it from a god."

She blinks.
"Haven't you already told me that a major dictating force in what someone can do with the Force is belief that something can be done?"

"Yes. But even so, there are limits to that."
I shake my head yet again.
"Nox and I are trying. But even with all our knowledge, all our power, and all our skill and control... it's not enough. My mind is in a state that should not exist. By all accounts, it should not be possible for me to be alive right now. And the only thing we can do is to keep this fragile status quo."

"Maybe your use of the Force is incomplete?"

I narrow my eyes at her. Is she really questioning my mastery over the Force?
"If you find a way to heal my mind, please be my guest."

She nods with dedication.
"I will try."

I exhale and drop my head, resting my forehead on my hand.
"Sorry, it's just... my case is absolutely unprecedented. Even the wisest healers and most arcane rituals anyone has ever heard of... are not enough."

"Perhaps that's one of the reasons you're visiting a world as statistically improbable as this one, then?"

"...possible. But I won't count on it."
She might be on to something, but... can I allow myself to hope? No, I can't.

"After all, there is that sword that uses the Force in ways you not only have never seen but cannot currently comprehend."

"Yes. That ancient power of the Force... would have no problem of restoring my mind, I'm sure. However, I also think that there is a reason the current Force is so much weaker by comparison. Besides, I really do not want to draw the attention of that sword."

"Why might that be?"

I shrug.
"I assume it has to do with this calamity my vision mentioned."

She hums as she gets lost in thought.
"Hmm..."

I hand over the empty - and clean - bowl to Leanna.
"Be that as it may, I think we should return to the others, seeing as I'm done with eating."

She sighs.
"But we will make you better. We just need a chance."

I gaze into the distance.
"Your desire to help is appreciated. But as I said, don't count on it. I'll have to make do with what I can do."

I stand up.
"On that note, let's go."

She smiles shakily at me.
"Yes. Let's."

I smile slightly at her.
"Don't worry too much. I'll manage somehow. I always do."
I hold out my hand for her to help her up.

She takes it, seeming to glide to her feet.
"One day, I hope you won't need to suffer so."

I just shrug helplessly.
"I've got used to it."

I then move back towards Issim's hut, hoping that Leanna won't pull away her hand from mine.

She squeezes it only tighter, a demand to the world to not take my joy away.

I smile at her that loving smile only she is ever the recipient of.

She blushes ever so slightly, but the loving smile is returned, bright and cheery like a sunrise bursting through a cloudy night.

That, in turn, lets my face flush as well, if only a little. I remain silent, however, not feeling the need to speak during the few steps we have to take. And all too soon, we reach the hut again, where I hesitate to let go of her hand, which fits so perfectly into mine.

Even as it leaves, the fingers trail along my palm before leaving an emptiness where they were.
We re-enter the hut and sit down, receiving silent but welcoming nods while Kara asks Issim about what can be expected of the temples.
"Well, I don't know too much. I do know that each of these locations was very important, and would be defended, but each of the tribes had their own customs when it came to defence. It's entirely possible one or more depended upon living soldiers, and as such is defunct - but as with many things, you should not count on trends unless you lack other options. As for what you might find... I would expect texts and relics of low material value, and interesting magics. Coinage played less of a role in the societies of the Elemental Tribes than you might expect."

I chime in, eager to focus my mind on a different topic.
"Interesting... Why's that?"

"Oh, they didn't much need a currency for most things."

I tilt my head slightly in curiosity.

"Aside from luxuries and such, they had no need for it. They mostly bartered: everyone was needed, and so their needs were provided for."

"Interesting. But going back, it sounded like you were talking about the other temples, yes? So you know where we should head next?"

Amelia nods.
"The Earth Temple should be closest: it is in a forest not far from the rail lines."

"I see."
I then sigh.
"Well, as much as I'd love to stay, I'm afraid we have to move. The trek through the forest won't be pleasant."

I smile at Issim.
"However, it was very delightful to meet you, and I thank you for your hospitality. If there is anything I can do for you, just let me know."

"Of course. Your visit has been most interesting."

I ponder for a moment, then perk up.
"Ah, right, before I forget..."

I put a hand into my pocket and act like I search for something, while I actually materialise something. I craft a rune, infused with my power, in typical Sith design.
I pull it out and hold it out to Issim.
"I want to offer you this rune of my power. With it, you can contact me wherever I am, in case you wish to. It should even work once I am back to my world, theoretically."

His eyes widen a bit.
"Interesting. I suppose this solves the problem of distance in your promise."

I blink.
"My promise?"

I tilt my head.
"Which one do you refer to?"

He smiles a bit.
"'If there is anything I can do for you, let me know'. I don't know about you, but I can't send messages across great distances."

"Ah. Right. Yeah, I can do that. And with this, you can too. At least to me."
I smile, still holding the rune out for him to take.

He accepts it, inspecting it.
"Regardless, I will take great pleasure in finding whatever secrets this might give me."

I chuckle.
"Good. Just don't break it."

I then turn to the rest of my group.
"So, are you about ready to depart? Or is something left to discuss?"

"I think we are ready."

Leanna smiles at them.
"Well, let's get going, then. We have a fair bit to travel before we return to Bazada."

I stand up in a smooth motion.
"Indeed."

I wait for the others to say their farewells, too, and they do so.

As we head out of the room, I throw a last glance back.
"Farewell, Professor."

He sends us off with a smile.
"Good luck on your journey."

I nod once, and then I am gone.

We leave the village, heading into the forest. I step up to our youngest member.
"So, how are you feeling Amelia?"

She glances at me.
"Acceptable. Why?"

"Well, if you want, I can lift your tiredness. Because, just as a fair warning, the change to the Forest of Sorrow will not really be noticeable."

She tilts her head.
"I am not sure how the two are related."

"Tiredness negatively impacts a person's mental abilities, including fortitude. You might be more susceptible to the effects there."

"I will be alright."
She seems resistant to the idea of someone changing how tired she is.

"Alright. I can't do more than offer it."
I then address the whole group.
"Also, this might come a bit sudden, but I'd like to take a break either before or after the Forest of Sorrows."

Leanna closes the distance.
"Alright. What kind of break?"

I scratch my cheek.
"I'm kind of pent up and need to fight something."

Leanna blinks, her long lashes fluttering.

I avert my gaze.
"It's... been too long since I've been in a serious fight, and I feel restless."

She nods.
"Alright. I hope you can unwind a bit."

I smile at her charmingly.
"I plan on it. And maybe I even manage to impress you."

She just arcs a brow, however.
"How do you intend to do that?"

"Intend to do what? Fight something, or impress you?"

"Impress me."

"Hmm... maybe by taking on an army?"

She seems surprised.
"Which army? And why would an extreme amount of death impress me - especially since I have some idea of what you are capable of?"

"You remember the droid I created some days ago? Just like that, but a few dozen of them. Maybe a hundred or so. Thus, no death involved. And, well, I don't know about you, but when I see someone skilfully doing something, I can't help but be impressed."

She hums in thought.
"Perhaps. But would an army like that actually be a test of your abilities?"

"At this point, no army would be. So, no."

"Well, what would truly impress me would be challenging yourself."

I arc a brow.
"Oh? And how should I do that? Because, as far as I'm aware, there is nothing on my current level that I could fight. Either I am way beyond things, or that specific thing is way beyond me."

She shrugs, smiling at me.
"Well then, I suppose I'm difficult to impress with simple prowess."

I shrug.
"I mean, I theoretically could clone myself... but if the planet survives that is a different question. But I have the feeling that is not quite what you meant. So what did you have in mind?"

"Well, obviously if your plan is just to kill something to let off steam, go ahead and fight some droids. But there are things in Esaria that might challenge aspects of your capabilities."

I arc a brow.
"Besides that sword, I somehow doubt that. But I'll bite. What are you thinking of concretely?"

"Well, I am a good match for you if you focus on swordplay, for one. I'm also not the best swordsman - or even swordswoman - around. Given that I don't think you intend to bring the droids into existence only to instantly snap them out of existence, I imagine a good sparring partner doesn't need to have a good counter to your more destructive abilities."

"No, but the thing with sparring is that I have to hold back considerably. Which I won't have to with those droids. I mean, I think I told you that I held back in our last spar, right?"

"True. But I was holding some back as well, since I was testing your capabilities with only a blade."

I nod.
"Yes. And, while your capabilities are very remarkable, I am rather confident I could take you on in a real fight without having to use my Force abilities. Although... no. I rectify that. I most likely wouldn't be able without using them at least a little, not when you don't hold back anything."

She smiles.
"Perhaps we'll both be surprised."

"Perhaps. However, the thing is, that I don't think I could fight you seriously."

She blinks.
"Why is that?"

"Because I'd worry that I'd hurt you. And since my goal is the exact opposite of that... well..."

She smiles.
"Don't worry. I trust you."

I frown slightly.
"Well, I don't. The chance that I'd lose control is there, and that is something I cannot risk."

She smiles softly.
"Well, aside from that... there are a number of creatures out there you don't need to hold back on. I'm sure there's at least one more War Wyrm out there, waiting to cause trouble."

"Hm, I see... We'll hold that thought for another day. Today, I just feel like tearing something apart."

She nods.
"Alright."

I smile slightly at her, then turn to the others.
"Thinking of it, that'd be the first time any of you would really see me in action."

Amelia nods.
"Alright. Go ahead."

I blink.
"Huh? You mean right now?"

Zack shrugs.
"Whenever."

I just tilt my head in confusion.
"Okay...?"

Then, I shake it.
"Anyways. I think you probably kind of heard it already through bits here and there... but there's two things I'd still like to tell you clearly..."

He arcs a brow, which disappears behind his bangs.
"Which are?"

I take a deep breath.
"Well, first of all... I am a god."

No one says anything. There are shrugs all around.
Eventually, Amelia coughs.
"Interesting. Go on."

"Uhm... well, I mean... I am immortal. My powers know almost no limits. There is nearly nothing I cannot do. At all."
I feel a bit helpless, but absolutely serious. And nervous. They... don't care at all?

Kara shrugs.
"Alright. If you want to call that being a god, why not?"

I tilt my head.
"I mean, what would you call a god?"

"I don't tend to use it - so you can define it. It's your word right now."

Zack nods.
"Most of the time, a god is a powerful weirdo who sits on top for no reason except extraordinary cosmic powers they didn't earn and think they're entitled to."

"That... sounds fairly accurate, to be honest."

Leanna chimes in.
"Seems a bit like this 'Vitiate' guy you've been telling me about, Xerath."

I nod.
"Yeah. Had to think about him immediately as well. Makes me wonder if I can call my powers and my claim 'earned' then, though..."

"You don't need to."
Kara smirks.
"Just don't be a dingus."

I blink.
"What's a dingus?"

"Idiot, bad person who sucks."

"Ah. I see. Yes, I try to not be such a person."

She smiles.
"Good."

I then tilt my head.
"But still... you take this news remarkably calm."

"Why shouldn't we?"

I still don't feel fully convinced.
"Well, I mean... I'm a god..."

"Why should that change anything about you? You're a god - the difference is power."

I draw my hand to my chin.
"Or is the suppression of my presence just that effective, that you don't realise the sheer magnitude of my statement?"

Leanna smiles, effectively both ignoring and answering my interlude.
"And power doesn't define you."

I blink again.
"Uuhh... Right..."

"Who you are does. And who you are, is Xerath."

I smile at her.
"Right. For better or worse."

I then turn to the others again.
"But I also am an emperor. That... is the second thing I wanted to tell you..."
I shift my weight nervously.

That draws more of a reaction. Kara speaks first.
"And what do you do with that?"

"Well, I try to stabilise the galaxy and rebuild what has been lost during the last wars, for starters. Ultimately, I want to unite the galaxy and create a lasting peace, creating a place where every single person can be free to live a happy life."

They look at each other. Zack shrugs.
"Sounds good."

I blink again, looking between them disbelievingly.
"Just like that? That... that's all?"

"Yeah."

Leanna walks up to me and grasps my shoulders.
"Yeah, that's it."

I grow stiff at her touch, as I still can't quite believe it.
"I... I just told you I am a god and emperor. I have the power to destroy this entire galaxy in the blink of an eye... and also am the head of state of my galaxy's most powerful faction... and you just... accept it? Just like that?"

"Are any of those things going to affect us?"

I blink and tilt my head.
"Uhm, well, I mean, potentially? Like... they could affect you... but I won't try to lord over you or anything, if that's what you mean..."

She smiles at me.
"That's all we ask for."

I gaze at them. I really have a hard time believing this. It can't be that easy, can it? After all, it never was.
"So... that's that? Just... just like this?"

My voice grows thick and my eyes tear up, though I quickly wipe them.
"You... still accept me? Really?"

She shakes her head.
"I have one request."

I tilt my head and gaze at her questioningly.
"Yes?"

She smiles softly.
"Don't wipe your tears away. It's safe to cry here."

"Maybe... but... I'm not comfortable with that yet... I'm sorry..."

Her thumbs rub my shoulders.
"I understand. Take your time - just know that I'm there for you. You don't have to hide when you're struggling, okay? Not to me."

I nod.
"I know... thank you."
'And you know that I'm just comfortable enough for that around you.'

She beams at me.
"That's enough for now, then."
She gives my shoulders another squeeze, the little pokes of light rippling from the points of contact.

I smile shakily. Then, my gaze sweeps over the others. They seem perfectly accepting, if not interested in having me cry on their shoulders specifically. I sniffle.
"Thank you guys... your acceptance... really means a lot to me."

Leanna, however, would be extremely happy with me crying around her, it seems. She believes in the healing power of emotional release.

Kara shrugs.
"It's no big deal."

Amelia smiles faintly.
"Your performance can be affected by many things - if you need time to let go, take it."

Zack nods in agreement.
"These things need to happen sometime."

I close my eyes and smile.
"No big deal you say... but it really is. To me, at least."

I then open my eyes again.
"Thank you. Truly. You know... for all my life... I was treated differently by most people. For various reasons. But as soon as I got into a position of power... as I had power... I noticed that even those close to me, even those I'd consider my best friends... that there always was some kind of distance between us. And the higher I climbed the ranks, the worse it got."

I glance down.
"I suppose it is difficult to be friends with your emperor or king, huh?"

Leanna smiles.
"Maybe. But I think we can make it work with someone else's Emperor."

I smile at them warmly and gratefully, if still a bit shaky.
"I'm... glad. And very relieved."

Her lips brush across my forehead in their soft, familiar warmth. Even within this merely friendly gesture, there is so much affection, so much love, and warmth enough for a frozen heart to live on for years.

I freeze at the contact, then look at Leanna. I blink, and then shake my head, pulling myself out of the stupor.
"So, I think that were enough secrets for now. We... we should get a move on."

She lets go of my shoulders, but the warmth lingers on. She smiles.
"Yes, let's."

I march on, flustered, and don't look back. But the relief I feel... it's palpable in the air. We walk together through the forest. Leanna's warmth never seems to leave my side - perhaps because she is perfectly happy holding my hand.

It takes a bit for me to calm down again, but with her reassuring presence, I do so. That lets my bloodlust recede... for now. Meanwhile, my thoughts begin to circle about different topics. Like the amulet. Nox did ask me to probe it. I might as well do so. I slowly circle towards it, looking for any reaction from it. It doesn't seem to do anything, but my probes slide off of it like water sloughing off of polymers.
Eventually, I realize that there is a pattern to this phenomenon - power that is guiding and deflecting mine.
Now I am intrigued. What is it?
I try every angle, but nothing gets through. None of my efforts reveal any of its active defences - I can tell there are many, but none are triggered, and I don't know their nature. It would be as if I were a surgeon trying to perform an autopsy, but every scalpel bends away from the cadaver.
That is peculiar. And I don't want to throw a hammer at it, either. So, slightly frustrated, I settle on the fact that the amulet is incredibly powerful an artefact for now.
I sigh.
"Haaaahh... well, whatever."

Leanna glimpses over at me. After I have been silent for quite some time, the sudden exclamation must come as quite a surprise.
I bring my focus to her.
"I spent the time from earlier until now to probe the amulet. Without much success."

"I see. You're feeling better after earlier?"

"I did feel rather well earlier, actually. Just... overwhelmed. I'm more stable now."

She beams at me, lighting up the forest.
"That's about what I wanted."

I smile as well.
"Then yes, I'm better. Even if somewhat frustrated."

She tilts her head most adorably.
"Frustrated?"

"Because my probing was unsuccessful. Imagine trying to make an autopsy - or surgery - but the scalpel bends away every time you approach the patient."

"Oh. Weird."

I nod.
"As such, I know not much more than before. Except that it is really powerful. With defences like that on my person... I do feel a lot safer. Even from that blasted sword."

She smiles, her thumb rubbing my hand.

I softly smile back at her. Then, looking down at our hands. And back up again. I arc a brow.
"Is it just me, or are you... a lot more affectionate with me?"

Her smile doesn't dim.
"You are receptive to it."

Neither does mine.
"Well, obviously I am. I love you."

"And that tells you all you need, doesn't it? You need someone to be close to, and I want to be close to people. You will accept me. You're a nice person that wants support. Does a friend need another reason?"

"Not necessarily, but... it begins to feel like more than friendship from your side, too. At least more than the friendship I'm used to."

"Perhaps my version of friendship is closer than yours is?"

"Perhaps..."
I still am unconvinced.
"However... I don't think someone feeling just friendship would readily sleep in another's arms like that... and do all the other small gestures you spoil me with... But maybe it really is just me..."

Her smile remains dazzling.
"Or maybe I'm buttering you up for when I say yes so you'll do whatever I want."

She smirks.
"You get to believe whatever makes you happy."

I look at her flatly.
"Leanna, I would already do whatever you want. I assure you there is no need to 'butter me up'."

"I might not agree with you, but it will definitely be a funny story to tell later on."

I blink.
"What will be?"

"How differently we thought about things in ages past."

I smile slightly.
"Yeah... I suppose. Though it is rather exhausting for me."

Her smile drops a tiny bit.
"I suppose it would be."

"Every time you do something that goes beyond what I would perceive as you being my friend, I get my hopes up, only for you to confirm that you are, in fact, just my friend."
I sigh.
"That's a pattern I do not like. And yet, the funny thing is, that despite me being able to identify those instances, I can't do anything about them."

"Aww..."
She frowns.
"These things do take time, Xerath."

I sigh again.
"I suppose they do... But then, why have I fallen in love with you as soon as I ran into you? I mean, you are an amazing woman, but still... thirteen years I felt nothing, and then..."

"A criminal deficiency of love."

"Yes, perhaps..."
I sigh once more.
"And even worse is that I put all this pressure on you."

Her thumb rubs my hand again.
"It's alright. I can take a little pressure."

"Still... I placed high expectations on you that feel unfair of me to do so."

We approach the Forest of Sorrows. Leanna draws slightly closer.

I frown slightly and look apologetic.
"I'm sorry Leanna. Even though I freed the spirits, you will most likely not notice any difference to the way it was before... And I couldn't run the risk integrating loopholes for us specifically..."

"It's alright. Now it's only me that's suffering here..."

I have a slightly pained expression, as I want nothing more than to reassure her.
"Then... is there anything I can do to help?"

"Be here."
She quiets, looking around nervously, leaning into me a bit.

I wrap my presence around her protectively, feeling like a stalwart shelter and a cosy blanket at the same time to her. I hesitate to do the same with my arm, though. The movements are there, the intention clear, but the execution... is awkwardly hesitating.

With a simple shrug, she shifts the position of my arm, so I'd either have to move it back, or around her.

I take a breath and put it around her. I glance insecurely at her and smile weakly.

She smiles back at me, clearly still unnerved by the wasted landscape we traverse, but wanting me to know I am appreciated and loved.

My smile is becoming more steady at her reassurance. I then proceed to hold her gaze affectionately. She may notice my effort to hold her attention, so that she may focus on me more than our surroundings. Once again, I see her soul bend ever so slightly, edging towards the periphery of her body.
I look at her in wonder, my eyes brimming with affection and amazement. My expression has fully relaxed into a soft, loving smile by now.
It is not long before I am caught in daydreams...

I see the image of Leanna doting over a caramel-skinned child, but... the image expands. I see her sitting on a porch, rocking the child back and forth under blue skies and a wooden roof. He is so small-seeming, and shows a few strange, nonhuman characteristics - like a laugh that has a clicking sound to it. And Leanna is singing to him, a soft little lullaby as the noon climbs skyward.

I am about to push them away, when I remember Leanna's words about me being free to think about whatever I want to think. So... I do. Even if somewhat embarrassed, I allow that daydream to play along.
Leanna's angelic voice makes me sleepy too, and while I stumble a little more blearily onwards in the real world, no one there would notice except Leanna, and the dream continues.

I see myself step out of the house, holding another child - a little girl of the same age. Twins...
I sit down beside Leanna. We exchange no words I can hear - not wanting to wake their charges. So we merely lean into each other, and together, the little family rests.
I have no idea how much time has passed between now and this dream, but Leanna doesn't seem to have aged a day - not by time or stress. If anything, she felt warmer, more comfortable.

It is at this moment that a shadow creeps into the dream from the edges, until I am pulled out of the daydream and into my mindspace.
'Wha- Nox? What are you doing? Why did you do that?'

Across from me, the Dark Lord floats around, his arms crossed.
'I wanted to give you a report. I finished calculations.'

I blink, still half longing after the daydream.
'Huh? Calculations about what?'

'About your mind's decay, you oaf.'

'Hey!'

'While you were happily dozing off, the damage has begun to get harder to control again. I had to pull you out of it.'

'Wait, what? Those daydreams are really dangerous?'

Nox sighs.
'I'm afraid so. You did well warding them away.'

I look down.
'But...'

'One year.'

I blink.
'What?'

Kallig's Countenance vanishes in thin strings of black smoke, revealing a very rare expression on Nox's black face... concern and compassion, his crimson eyes shimmering.
'Based on my estimations, with given parameters... you have about one year until your mind fails.'

My eyes widen.
'No... that can't be. How could this happen? We're better than this.'

Nox looks down.
'Unfortunately not. I hate to admit it, but my powers are not suited enough to maintain your mind. At least not like this. As it turns out, all your newfound emotions... they interfere with my work.'

'What? How could this- no, of course... Yeah, I can see that...'
I begin to pace up and down.
'This is bad. Really bad...'

I pause to glance at Nox.
'Do you have any idea on how to proceed?'

'I have two, actually. But I can only recommend one.'

I stand still.
'Well, then tell me.'

'You won't like it.'

'I don't like this situation, either.'

'Fair enough. But don't complain afterwards...'
Nox frowns.
'One is, to hope Leanna's powers somehow can cure your mind when they awake.'

I tilt my head.
'Yeah. But why did you say I wouldn't like that?'

Nox shakes his head.
'I meant the other one. This one, though, is highly speculative. I cannot recommend this course of action.'

I nod.
'Noted. Then what was your other idea?'

'You going back to the way you were before.'

'What?'

'These emotions are damaging your mind - or rather our work to keep it together. As such, it would be best if we conclude our business here on Terra as soon as possible and get back to the things we're used to. And to distance ourselves from your group, too. Especially Leanna.'

My expression turns appalled.
'Distancing myself from Leanna? I love her! How could you even suggest that?!'

My tone mellows down.
'Especially now that the others accepted me, too...'

'It will be hard, no doubt. But what do you think will hurt them more? You distancing yourself from them, or them watching you descend into misery and madness without any way to help?'

I hesitate.
'I...'

Nox sighs.
'This is why I said you won't like it. But it is necessary. You cannot exist otherwise, Xerath...'

I slump, pacing around listlessly.
'...I... understand... I... I'll have to think about it...'

Nox nods.
'Alright. Just... don't take too long. This one year... is the most optimistic best-case scenario I could calculate...'

I gulp.
'And... what was the worst?'

Nox's crimson gaze is intense.
'One month.'

My head droops.
'I... see...'

Nox appears to be distraught seeing me like this, but doesn't know what to do, so he just shifts his weight awkwardly.
'Uhm, well, I think... I'll leave you to your thoughts for now. If you... uhm... want to, like, talk or something, you know where to find me..'

I just nod absentmindedly.
'Yes, thank you.'

Nox fades away, and I return my focus to the outside world again. Meanwhile, Leanna has undoubtedly noticed the change from my dreamy expression to a neutral one down to a frown. My eyes blink into focus on her.

"What is it, Xerath? Are you alright?"

I take a breath, and smooth my face to a carefully crafted neutral expression. But even so, hesitation shines through.
"I..."

I gaze away, debating with myself if I should even tell her.
"I'll... I'll be fine..."
My voice is weak, and it sounds completely unconvincing. Blast it! It... I don't want to distance myself from her. But... I have to. It will be better for everyone. I can't risk the collapse of my mind.

Leanna's warm and caring thoughts ring out to me.
'...can talk later, if you're uncomfortable now...'

I just nod at her, not replying otherwise.

She may notice that even the warmth of my presence that is draped around her dims a bit. It still feels like a stalwart shelter against everything bad... but less like a warm blanket anymore.

Her arm draws around me, trying to pick up the slack. I hesitate for a moment, but let it happen. I don't much react to it, neither positively nor negatively.

And so we continue through the desolate forest.
For the entire time, I keep silent, my expression a thinly veiled frown. I also completely ignore every illusion coming close to us, stoically marching on. That goes until we reach the end of the Forest of Sorrow.

The dark forest fades out, but Leanna's worry does not, and the others quickly seem to pick up on it.

I glance around, then turn to the others.
"How are you feeling? Would you be alright with a short break?"

Kara begins to speak.
"Sure-"

"YES."
Leanna energetically interjects, pointedly looking at me.
"I think we all need a break right now."

My expression is carefully kept neutral and my voice is even as I nod at her.
"Alright. Then I'll go ahead and decimate an army."

I turn around and begin to walk away a few meters.
"You are welcome to watch, if you're interested."

They set themselves up, and Leanna positions herself.

I close my eyes, and one after another, Sky Troopers appear around me, standing at attention with rifles in hands. To every dozen or so white troopers a slightly larger, grey Sky Trooper appears.
It doesn't take long until there are a hundred troopers standing in formation. I open my eyes, glance around, and shake my head. Not enough. Then I close my eyes again and continue.
Only when a whole army of two hundred troopers stands at the ready, do I stop creating them.
I open my eyes.
"Preparations complete."

I glance over to the others, curious as to what they do.

They watch, seemingly interested in these metal soldiers.

I sweep out my arms, and the droids get ready themselves, spreading out. Some take cover behind trees and stones, while others stand in the open, and more hang back.
I smirk slightly as I turn my attention to the troopers.
"Now let's begin."

With a motion of my arms in front of me, a very visible Static Barrier cackles to life around me, and that also acts as the sign for the droids to open fire. And so they do.
A large part of the droids open fire on me, blue baster bolts flying towards me and pebbling my barrier each impact like a needle against my shield.
I, however, am unbothered by this, and just hold out my arms slightly forward and to the side, channelling energy and emotions through my arms into a large Thundering Blast. Just a second later, I release a large ball of purple translucent kinetic energy, flying towards a row of troopers. The first in line has a somewhat green glow to it as I quickly gave it an Affliction.
The kinetic blast strikes true, completely exploding the first trooper hit, and then continuing through, pushing the entire line of droids along, scrapping them. Still feeling energized from the cast, I use the residue of channelling, which crackles around my hands as purple lightning, to instantly fire a Chain Lightning into one of the commander droids. The droid explodes into sparks, and the lightning continues its path, snaking through an entire column of troopers in cover until the energy finally dissipates.
A thin smile spreads on my face as I am pleased with the results.
I then grab my lightsaber and ignite the black blade with the blue light. Its iconic sound is overshadowed by the constant blaster fire hitting the barrier. Though since a Static Barrier is only a limited shield, it can only take a certain amount of punishment. That amount has been reached now. But in the moment the barrier breaks, I am already on the move. I jump up high into the air, the shots trailing after me but never quite hitting me.
At the top of my crescent, my face splits into a sadistic smirk of confidence bordering arrogance and of cruel enjoyment of the fight. There also may be a golden glint glowing in my visible eye as I tap into my dark powers.
The lightsaber shifts, and the second blade ignites as well as I descend back down to the ground. I cock my free hand back in a fist, charging more energy throughout my body into it, and as I land amidst a group of droids, slam that fist into the ground. Electricity discharges in a circular area around me, damaging and paralysing the troopers. Still crouched, I finish the movement by twirling my lightsaber over my back, cutting the shocked droids down.
As soon as the droids drop, the others close in, firing at me from all angles. My smirk just spreads into a grin as my lightsaber moves in a blur, reflecting each and every shot with uncanny precision either back into the droids that send them, or into others.

For a moment I just stand there on the defensive, but then I lift my leg a little, getting annoyed. Just staying on the defence is boring, so let's finish this. I channel a Force speed and kick myself off. Time seems to slow down as I speed up. I sprint through barely moving blaster fire and cut almost unmoving mechanical soldiers, the burning glow of the lightsaber strikes not even appearing yet. From the outside, however, it seems like one moment I am standing in the middle of blasterfire, and in the next I stand a bit away from the troops. And another moment later, all the droid troopers fall to the ground, red glowing strike marks on various parts of their bodies. All but one single trooper falls, who remains crouched behind a stone in cover.
Even the instant loss of all other units does not phase this droid, as it quickly double-taps its trigger. I stand with my back to the droid, appearing to be blindsided. However, I am not blindsided. Never again.
I just slightly tilt my head as the first shot flies past my ear, then tilting my head a bit more for the second shot. In the same, smooth motion, I throw my lightsaber to the side. The droid gets two more shots off that I dodge effortlessly, before the spinning lightsaber flies in from the side and decapitates the trooper, then continues on its path back to me. As the flying saber approaches me, I catch it out of the air and deactivate it with a flourish, just in the moment that the droid collapses. I put the weapon back on my belt.
I then turn, looking around the carnage I produced. I didn't even bother setting the blasters to a lower intensity, so I instead opted to cast protective barriers around all the trees and stones, so that any stray round won't do any harm to the nature around us.

I smooth out my robes and take a breath to wipe that grin off my face, replacing it with a neutral expression. I also close my eyes, and when I open them, the golden glint is gone. But aside from that, I am not out of breath, not even having broken a sweat.
I calmly walk back over to the others, looking at them with a curious expression.
"I'm done."

They look at me, stunned to various degrees.
"Huh..."

I smile slightly. As in really slightly. Only the corners of my mouth curl upwards a bit.
"So, what do you think?"

Leanna purses her lips.
"It's the fastest I've ever seen someone remove several hundred soldiers from existence."

"Then you haven't seen a Force Storm yet."

"Alright. Well, I imagine you spent a lot of time working on being able to do this."

I nod, somewhat proudly, even if I keep a mostly neutral expression.
"That I did."

I snap, and the occasionally still smoking remains of the Sky Troopers cease to be. If they hadn't seen me just doing what I did, there would be no evidence that a fight took place here. I look between my group, expecting... something. Any reaction?

They appear slightly impressed, but Kara and Amelia, the two that haven't already been given a demonstration of what I can do, aren't terribly interested.
Zack knows that what I know is not applicable to his fighting style, and Leanna is more concerned about the person at the centre of the carnage.

The small, proud smile I had falls completely, I shrug and begin to walk again.
"Alright then, shall we move on? Or would some of you like to compete against some of those Sky Troopers as well?"

Zack shrugs.
"Why not?"

I pause again and turn to him.
"Oh, you want to have a go? Alright. How many?"

"Let's say five."

"Alright. With a command unit? They are significantly tougher."

He nods.
"Sure."

I nod and close my eyes once more. Across from Zack, a grey tall Sky Trooper emerges flanked by four white ones.
I open my eyes.
"Don't worry, their blasters are set to stun. Shall they also start your match in cover?"

"Yes."
He ducks behind a tree.

I give a signal, and the troopers swarm out. The command unit ducks behind a tree along with another white one, two cover behind stones, and one hangs back behind a tree farther behind.

"Ready?"

Zack nods.

"Go!"
I swing my arm down to give the signal, and the droids immediately begin to open fire. I watch with interest, curious to see how he plans to take them on.

Zack opens with a barrage from some safety, testing the abilities of his opponents relative to his weapons. The pulses of shadow shatter against their cover, doing no physical damage - but I sense that Shadow magic notices and singles out the circuitry in the Sky Troopers. It does no damage - the machines do have systems to counteract attacks on their processors - but a direct hit will likely produce a much larger effect.
The command unit and the other three troopers in cover continue to suppress Zack, while the one who hung back leaves Zack's area of vision, darting between trees and brushes.

Zack appears to notice that his weapons are effective, and targets the command unit. The magic begins to build up from near misses in his opponent. He continues to keep track of the other machines, but seems to note their link.

The command unit, however, especially has fail-safe systems and automated repair systems that can repair the small damage done through the cover. They cannot protect against the damage, but they can fix it, at least somewhat. The command unit notes that it gets affected by its enemy's weapons fire despite not getting hit directly, and as such issues new orders.
The two units behind stones ignite their jump packs and quickly close the distance, moving to flank Zack from both sides simultaneously. Meanwhile, the command unit and the other one behind a tree keep him pinned with cover fire.

Zack notes the change in behaviour, and produces a hand crossbow I haven't seen before. He fires, and the bolt sticks into the tree. Then, he shoots at the bolt. One, two three, and there is a shock of magical energy through the cover and into the target. Magic responds to the will of the user - it is the simplest form of magic to let the power feel what it is that you want. Zack wants this group's organization compromised, and the direct hit on his enemy obliges. Corrupted code screeches through the secure network they communicate on. So loudly in the electromagnetic spectra, I can't help but wince.

However, the command unit's ECM suite detects the intrusion and shuts down the unit to reboot. And unfortunately for Zack, as he has focused the command unit so far, the other units have been unharmed by the magic so far. They register the corrupted code, pause for a moment, and then register the shut-down protocol of the command unit. Fall-backs dictate to disregard the last order, and so they continue their assault undeterred. The two troops close in from both of his sides, while the one behind a tree keeps him pinned, and he knows there is still one he has lost sight of.

"Interesting."
Zack smiles, then vaults over the cover, sweeping his weapons about. His weapons pulse once, then twice, each landing well on the flanking troopers that had previously been shielded by trees as they advanced. Only one suppressing trooper gave him a good opening.
One hit, the troopers could have taken, but as the second hits, they go down as their programming shuts down.

Zack quickly takes new cover, sending a few more blasts into the bolt to keep the commander down. He isn't yet sure how long his blows will keep them for, so he's playing it safe.

However, in the moment he comes out of cover, the cover fire is immediately upon him. With uncanny precision, the stun shots sail towards him. The blasts sizzle against his cloak, as undoubtedly expensive wards spark to life in response to the hits. The automatic weapon has time for four shots before he is in cover again. Significantly more force will be required for bodyshots to be effective, and the unprotected head moves quickly - Zack is far faster than a human is able to be.
Zack is behind new cover, while the one trooper behind a tree is keeping his attention. That is when he gets the feeling of something behind him, but it is almost too late to react to the charged shot coming towards him from his blind spot.

Yet he only smirks, diving out of the way.

The trooper who disappeared circled around, now kneeling in a bush behind him. As soon as he leaves the cover, the one behind the tree fires upon him, its mechanical precision predicting his movements to an extend, while the one behind him unleashes a salvo in full auto. The fire rate is more like a heavy repeating discharger that he is familiar with, rather than such an assault rifle.

But Zack's hands are never idle, and as he rolls violet fire pours from the barrels of his weapons, nearly as accurate as if he were standing still. If the enemy does not wish to be hit, it must take cover. Yet the droid in the bush does something unexpected. While Zack gets shot in the back from the one behind the tree, that one fires up his jump pack and quickly speeds up to Zack in an arc over his fire. The droid fires in rapid-fire until just a moment before it is upon him, then it cocks back the rifle, preparing to land with a pommel strike.
With strength that borders on the inhuman, he catches the butt of the rifle in one hand, redirecting it into the tree, and shoots the droid in the chest point blank with a wound-up shot. There is a violent violet flash, and the machine collapses before the automated systems learn anything is wrong.

While that droid kept his attention, the last one charged his jump pack, and now unleashes it. It zooms towards Zack in a second.

Without even looking at it, he ducks underneath it and levels his other discharger at it, the other firing bolts into the two that were originally flanking. Once again, a surge of violet burst forth into the droid.
As it flies by past Zack, it shuts down and tumbles to the floor, the momentum carrying it forward until it crumbles in a heap.

I clap, quite impressed actually.
"Well done! Very well done, Zack."

He gets up and dusts himself off.
"Interesting things. Sparky too."

I nod.
"Indeed. They are the best automated soldiers my galaxy has to offer. And you made it look so easy to dispatch a whole squad of them. Fascinating to watch."

"I imagine if they were allowed to use lethal force it would be more taxing on my cloak, but otherwise they were manageable."

I step forward as the droids vanish. My eyes narrow as I lean towards Zack.
"But I am quite curious how you managed to evade the last two blows. They were something a human should not be able to evade."

"Well, they weren't too bad - not even as fast as arrows. Why are your blaster bolts so... visible?"

"They are plasma bolts. Their visibility is in their nature."

"Well, you might want to work on that. Dodging these things might be a learnable skill for a regular human."

I arc a brow at that.
"I doubt it."

"How fast are they?"

"You might have noticed that the low powered stun bolts you faced were several times slower than the ones shot at me?"

He nods.
"Yep. Might want to work on that."

"Well, they are slower by principle, as they are severely powered down."

He blinks.
"I don't know about you, but here discharger power has nothing to do with speed. So blasts travel quickly as a rule."

I shrug.
"I noticed. But I'm no blaster engineer. I can only copy the mechanism I know. Never mind that I don't like them, either."

"Well, it seems weird to me. But to answer your question: reaction speed. I have a higher training ceiling than most of the people here."

I arc a brow.
"So I noticed. You several times dodged attacks with reaction speeds that go beyond human."

My voice is calm and quiet, and Zack notices that. The others don't hear what I say.
"Does it have to do with your necklace, perhaps?"

He lifts a bit of hair, revealing an ear tapered to a point, and also practically ignoring my remark.
"Half-elf."

"Ah, right. So I noticed. But even that does not fully explain your incredible reflexes. They are almost on par with a Force user, after all."

"Elves who practice can dodge or deflect arrows without magical aid beyond what each of them just have. You just need skill. A lot of it. Which is why your blasters having such bright projectiles was helpful - much easier to spot among the trees."

I nod.
"That is true. And I have to admit that my study of elves was rather limited so far, the samples I have seen indicate both a higher base as well as ceiling for reaction times... but not to that degree... Perhaps it is because they are a magical race?"

"Generally? Yes. Not everyone utilizes it for external powers, and I can't, but magic does augment them."

I nod.
"It does indeed."

Then, I tilt my head.
"You can't utilize magic? But you do have a..."

I trail off and shake my head.
"No, I won't push it. You have your reasons to keep it hidden. If you want to tell me about it, you will do so on your own accord, because you trust me. I will not force you to reveal your secret."

He nods.

I step back, having said anything I wanted. Then I face the others.
"Alright. As I assume that none of you would like the same exercise, shall we move on again, then?"

There are the shakings of heads.
"Yeah, let's go."

I nod and begin to move again. I stride with a blank and stoic expression, walk upright, dignified and determined. Royal and regal, like the emperor I am.

Nothing of note happens for quite some time, and we pass through the woods. When we leave the thick canopy, it is mid-evening, the golden sun in the sky beginning its descent. I glance at the sky.
"Huh. Right on schedule."

I turn to Amelia.
"So, we head towards the crystalrail immediately?"

She nods.
"Yes. We will need to make the last one of the day."

"Alright. Then let's make it there."
I continue to lead the way, moving towards the city. And once inside, I take the shortest route, calculating travel traffic as well. To the others, it might seem like I take an erratic route.

Leanna notes the change.
"Is this a better route?"

I nod.
"Based on my calculations, yes. I can sense a lot of people on the main streets."

"I see."

I glance at her, noting her odd tone.
"Is it a problem?"

She shakes her head, but her voice seems still off.
"I just understand."

I nod again. If she doesn't want to go into it, that works for me.
"Good."

I continue to lead them through a seemingly erratic route, but we don't bump into anyone and quickly reach the station. It really was the fastest route, gaining us several minutes.
Leanna pays for tickets, and the rail is boarded when it arrives, Ceru once again stowing away.

As we settle in our cabin, which is larger this time to accommodate Kara, I pet the pango. A small, but warm smile graces my face.
"Hey Ceru. How have you been? Haven't seen you in a while."

Ceru looks at me, seemingly noticing my change in demeanour.
"Poi. Poi?"

I shake my head, my smile straining.
"Ah, it's nothing. Don't worry about it, little one."

He frowns.
"Poi."

Now my smile drops as well.
"It's nothing. I'll live."

I continue to pet Ceru, but begin to look out of the window, staring into the distance.

There is a stifling silence as the crystalrail pulls out of the station, the atmosphere heavy. Especially to my senses.
I continue to stare out of the window, but eventually sigh as ignoring this is obviously not working.
"Alright. Shoot."

I turn to look at the others.
They look back, worry hidden but evident on their faces. Except Leanna, she doesn't care to hide her concern from anyone.

"The tension is palpable. You want to ask me something. Shoot."

Leanna gazes me deep in the eyes.
"Xerath, since this morning you've been acting weird. What's wrong?"

I swallow.
"Nox... came back with results. His estimations are completed."

I take a deep breath, but keep silent until probed again.

Unfortunately, Leanna does.
"Which are...?"

I take another very deep breath and sigh out.
"At the current rate... I have somewhere between a month and a year left."

Blinks of surprise all around. Leanna... wears an expression of a cross between determination and fear.
"What... can we do?"

I look at her with a blank expression, masking my emotions like I'm used to.
"Nothing, I'm afraid. My emotional state going absolutely haywire works completely against Nox's - and my - powers stabilizing my mind. The only solution we have found is to return to my previous impassive and detached emotional state and leave as soon as I'm done here."

"No... that can't be it."
Leanna is, suffice to say, not happy.

"Well, I'm open to suggestions."
I lean forward to the table, propping up my elbows, folding my hands and resting my chin on the folded hands.
"We both have gone through all methods we know and can think of. We came up empty."

I glance at her.
"I don't really like this, either, but I'd rather banish my emotions again than cease to be."

Her eyes begin to tear up.
"Then... you're going back to suffering through life... without end?"

I nod stoically.
"I'm afraid so. But don't worry, it's nothing I'm not used to already, anyways."

"Being used to something doesn't make it okay..."
She pulls me into a hug.
"I'm going to find you a way out, okay?"

I allow it to happen, but am rather stiff, and don't return it.
"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"I don't intend to."

"I know."
I close my eyes.
"I'm sorry... but I'll have to go with what I know works rather than to put my faith in uncertainties."

She nods sadly.
"I understand... but sometimes, things we don't expect do happen. I suppose I shouldn't ask for hope, but time should be alright... right?"

I laugh sadly.
"As much as I can give you."

"Thank you."
She leans back. I feel it - the pressure against her, she's taking it all. What will it do to her?

I frown.
"But don't burden yourself that much. It's enough when one of us breaks under the pressure. I wouldn't want you to share my fate."

She shakes her head with determination.
"No, it's alright. I became a Mage-Knight because I wanted to shoulder the burdens of others, Xerath. Don't try to shield this from me - I'd rather do this than despair."

I close my eyes, take a breath, and open them again.
"Alright. Still... I worry about you. I'm afraid you'll bite off more than you can chew. I will manage, one way or another. I always do."

"I haven't ever died in my life either. The first time it happens will be sudden. But I believe in you. You can do better than you think."

I arc a brow.
"Having your mind broken is vastly different than dying. And worse, too. But if I have anything to say in the matter, you won't. Unless you want to."

I then blink as I register her second sentence.
"Yes. As I just said, I will manage. This is just another setback. Nothing I haven't faced before."

She sinks back into her seat.

I glance at the others.
"So, yes. That has been what caused me to shift my behaviour. My mind is broken, and only Nox's and my combined powers keep it together, but me experiencing so many emotions all the time causes more damage than we can repair."

This doesn't make any of them less worried.
I sigh, but patiently wait for them to gather their thoughts so that they can ask the questions I know they want to ask, or otherwise say what they want to say.

Kara is first.
"That's... really disappointing, Xerath. You seemed like such a cheery person... locking that away can't be good."

"It's actually how I was before coming here, too. This state of... heightened emotional stimulation was... is rather anomalous for me."

"That doesn't make me any happier."

"Which produced even more stress, I assume. Unfortunately, that goes directly against the powers we use to hold my mind together, doing almost more damage than we can repair. We can hold it as it is, but all it takes are a few strong blows to my emotions for it all to crumble. And if my mind fails... it's over. I won't- wouldn't simply die... I would cease to be. Though I assume that would be the same for you, given you do not believe in an afterlife."

"Yeah, it seems kind of weird for you to say something like 'not just die, but die'."
She shakes her head.
"But that's not relevant."

"It isn't? Because to me personally, it is very much relevant."

"The fact that I find it weird isn't relevant."

"Ah. Yes, of course."

Zack doesn't say anything, respecting a desire for emotional distance.

I nod at him, and glance at Amelia.

She looks down, her head drooping.
"I... wish you well in the future you court."

I smile slightly.
"Thank you, Amelia."

I look around again. This... hits them. I want them to stop worrying.
"But know that I care about you all the same. Even if I... can't really express it. Or rather mustn't allow myself to express it."

Her voice sounds... sad.
"I hope you will find a way to escape the damage you have suffered."

"I hope so, too. Despite all the chaos and confusion these emotions have brought, it was... quite enjoyable. I'd prefer to stay like that, but alas, I cannot. I must not."
My eyes shimmer wetly, but I quickly close them and lean back in my seat.
"This situation does not please me, either. But I simply cannot risk it."

Following that, there is no discussion. There is the soft rocking of the rail as it moves across Esaria.

A few minutes later, I open my eyes.
"How long until we reach our next destination?"

Leanna answers.
"Two and a half days."

I pull out my deck of cards and place it on the table.
"Well, I thought about using this time to rest and cater to my mind. If something comes up, feel free to wake me. And in the meantime, I can offer you to utilize my cards."

Amelia nods.

I lean back and close my eyes again.
"This might also actually be an opportunity to give Nox some more interactions. Would you like to have him around in my stead?"

"If he wants to be."

"He does. Wouldn't admit that he wants to be around you, but he thought that he wanted to talk to you about something."

My shadow stirs.
"Oi. Could you not go around telling them my thoughts?"

"My apologies."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever..."
My shadow returns to normal, the dark presence receding.

Even though I have kept my eyes closed, I smile slightly at the short exchange.
"So, if you want, I'll trade places with him then."

Amelia nods.
"That is alright."

I nod as well.
"Alright. See you later, then. And... please don't worry too much."

I fall silent for a moment, my breathing evening out as I fall asleep. There is much I need to do. But I'm also curious what Nox and the others will do, so I keep track of that as well.
Nox takes control over my body, wakes back up and opens my eyes, though this time they are a crimson red.
Nox scratches his cheek.
"Uhm... hello there..."

"Greetings."

Leanna smiles.
"Hello..."

Kara nods at him.

"I know this isn't the most... merry of times..."
He sighs.
"To be honest, I hate that solution as much as any of you. It was very refreshing to see Xerath actually happy."

He then looks at Leanna.
"Also, you do have the chance to find a solution. But the chances to that are unknown, which is why I recommended Xerath the other option."

She blinks.
"Huh?"

Nox arcs a brow.
"Xerath has mentioned your light several times by now, hasn't he?"

"He has..."

"Well, he means it literally. You have a large, untapped power within you, unlike anything we have ever seen. And based on my observations, your powers - once awoken - would be several times more effective at repairing his mind than ours is. He didn't want to tell you that outright, instead observing how your powers react over time... but time is exactly the one factor we do not have. And since I know you'll beat yourself up over his situation, I figured I'd tell you about this."

She nods slowly.
"Alright. So, what do I need to do to unleash this light?"

He shrugs.
"I have no idea. As I said, it is unlike anything we have ever seen. However... we have observed that it reacts to your stronger emotions. Whenever you were exceptionally happy, or sad, or upset, or whatever, it stirred."

"Huh..."

"Personally, I would recommend meditation. Now that you know of this power, you might be able to reach it. But mainly, I told you about it to give you a direction. I know you well enough to be certain you would frantically search for a method to help Xerath, only to despair more and more as you cannot come up with anything. All the while, Xerath would grow increasingly worried about you. I'd rather not watch that."

Her voice trails off as she thinks.
"I see..."

He tilts his head.
"So, this should give you... that thing you pride yourself in giving others... hope, right? You now know of a possible way to find a solution. That is better than before, yes?"

She nods.
"Yes."

He nods as well.
"Good."

He leans back in the chair, fidgeting around a bit.
"Huh, so this is how this feels? Kind of nice..."

Leanna arcs a brow.
"What does?"

"This seat. It is quite comfortable."
He glances at her with some sort of curiosity.
"Or what do you think I meant?"

"I was curious what you meant."

"Ah. Of course."
He glances at the others impassively. From his usual deprecatingly gaze, that is a whole step up.
"So, what now?"

There is silence for a minute. Then, Leanna speaks up.
"I'm... not sure."

He nods to himself.
"Hm hm. I understand that our revelation weighs heavy. Is there... anything I can do to help?"

Her gaze drops.
"I don't know."

He smirks.
"Well, I always could tamper with your emotions, but I have the feeling you wouldn't like that very much."

"I suppose not."

His smirk fades, and he looks at Amelia.
"Hmm. It appears that you are not the only one who needs to practice their humour."

"Yes, perhaps."

He sighs, but falls silent. This is not the correct mood to lead a discussion. Even he can see that much.
"I see that my presence is not necessarily helpful here. I... may help Xerath with his mind... or something."

"Stay if you like, but you don't need to. We... don't really feel like talking right now, okay?"
Leanna smiles slightly.
"It's not you."

He scratches his neck.
"Well, talking was the thing I mainly wanted to come out for. But don't worry, I understand. If you change your mind, just call out for me. I remain observant."

"Thank you, Nox. Good hunting."

He blinks.
"What?"

"I was going to say good luck, but for what you're doing luck might not be helpful, so I chose a more... knightly blessing."

"Ah. I see."
He nods in acknowledgement, then rests against the chair, closing his eyes as well. Like before, his breath evens out again, and he falls asleep just like I did.

And so, the body of me remains asleep, while the others are left to their own thoughts.
The only sensation I can feel from the outside world is the breath of the Force. Two characters stand out: the winds of Terra and the blade stuck in the planet, and the pulsing and flexing of an unknowing golden soul sitting adjacent to me. Everything else is silent.
And so, Nox and I work together to repair the damage to my mind to the best of our abilities. It takes a long while, and the day passes.

---

A/N: I hope you're all well and that you like this chapter. It ends on a kind of sad note, doesn't it? Well, you'll be able to see how it continues in the next chapter. Unfortunately, I do not know if that will be next month, as I am currently away, basically on vacation. My weeks are filled with activities, so I don't know how much time I'll be able to allocate to writing and editing. I did want to get at least this chapter out this month, though, and let you know.
As always, feel free to share your thoughts, and until next time. Hope you all have a great time, and thank you for taking interest and time to read my story.