Chapter 8
There was a knock on the carriage door.
Harry opened it. Two redheads stood there.
"Lord Potter..."
"We wanted to apologise..."
"We wrote already to Lord Black to..."
"Tender our apologies for..."
"Disparaging his efforts in the war..."
"We did not mean it like that..."
"And we are sorry for being thoughtless."
Harry considered.
"I'm happy to resume our former relations with you two," he said. "You don't always know when to stop ragging someone, you know? And it's not nice."
"We'll do better in future," said Fred... or George.
"We talked about it, and we managed to set up a temporary pensieve by drawing runes on Mum's soup tureen," said George... or Fred.
"And we were ashamed," they said in unison.
"Really, you made a temporary pensieve?" said Hermione.
"Yes, it worked as a one-use..."
"But getting our memories back was hairy..."
"And Gred's memory of leaving via floo involves being drowned in soup whilst going."
"I shouldn't laugh," said Harry, sniggering. "You could have seriously damaged your memories."
"Yes, but we had to find out," said Fred, seriously. "Because we want to spread joy with our pranks, not cause misery, and it was out of line."
Harry nodded, knowing it was Fred, the more serious brother.
"Forgiven and forgotten," he said.
.
Ginny barged in without knocking.
"What do you mean by crippling my brother?" she demanded. "And what does he mean about you being betrothed to the hairy horror? She's potioned you, Harry, you're my true love and always have been, you rescued me from Tom!"
"News for you, Weasley," said Harry. "I hunted down the basilisk for my petrified girlfriend, and to support Ron, who loves you for some reason. But I did save your life, so you owe me a life debt."
Ginny moved to try to sit on Harry's lap. Her brothers grabbed an arm each.
"I don't think Lord Potter wants you on his lap, Ginny," said George, gently. "And you don't really want to annoy him."
"And it was I who hurt Ron, because he was being obnoxious," said Neville. "Harry, be very careful in wording a demand from her, to fulfil the life debt; breaking that geas can cost someone their magic or even life. And it's intent-based, so if she tries to go round it by getting someone else to do something, it will still rebound on her."
"And we would like to not have our sister die or lose her magic," said Fred.
Harry blinked a few times, scribbled down a few sentences, and showed them to Neville, who nodded.
"That ought to work," he said.
Harry cleared his throat.
"Do you, Ginevra Molly Weasley, acknowledge the life-debt you owe me?" he asked.
"Oh, yes! And it's stronger as you nearly died to save me... it's why we are destined...URK!" as George's hand went over her mouth.
"Don't piss him off any more," said Fred.
"I, Hamilcar Regulus Leo James Potter-Black, do hereby accept the life-debt owed to me by Ginevra Molly Weasley, and for restitution of that debt do hereby demand and require that the said Ginevra Weasley will seek help from a mind healer at her earliest convenience to help her overcome the false concept of the Boy-who-lived as a romantic partner, and to advise her how to move on from a teenage crush engendered by the lies in the books written about the so-called boy-who-lived. I demand and require that the said Ginevra Weasley will keep her thoughts about me and any of my family, including my betrothed wife, Hermione Denebola Black Dagworth-Granger and my godbrother, Neville Francis Longbottom to herself."
Whisps of starry black substance whipped round Ginny and Harry.
Fred and George hustled her out of the carriage.
"We'll make sure she..."
"Understands and complies," they said.
.
.
The twins also sorted out Ron's ankle and told him not to be a baby. Ron was sulking.
"Sucking up to Lord bloody Potter, are you?" he grumbled. "He has bloody everything and he flaunts it."
"Yes, we envy him all his siblings who were never born, and we envy him being an orphan, of course," said Fred, with heavy irony.
"Wot?" said Ron.
Fred cuffed the back of his head.
"You are an arse, Ronniekins," he said. "Don't you think Harry would have traded all his titles and money to have his parents back? That's why he helped get Neville's parents cured, to be able to appreciate his godbrother's happiness."
"He doesn't need siblings, he's supposed to have me," grumbled Ron. "Who wants siblings, anyway?"
"Don't you think the poor bloke..."
"Has enough problems..."
"With Voldemort after him..."
"To want to be lumbered with you as well?"
"You're both rotten to me," said Ron. "And if he's shacked up with the bushy beaver, who's going to do my homework for me?"
"If you haven't been..."
"Doing your own homework..."
"You'll fail your OWLs anyway."
"We'll help..."
"But you'll have to do your own work."
The twins exchanged a look; it was a way they could repay Harry for his forgiveness, in keeping Ron off his back. They knew their own NEWTs were in the bag, having played down their ability for years.
And more important, their joke shop was assured. Thanks to Harry.
.
.
Severus Snape was scowling at Harry Potter as he entered the great hall with his betrothed on his arm. This was not an unusual occurrence, but the scowl was more puzzled than hateful, for once.
Severus Snape had received a letter the day before from Lords Black and Potter. The formal language offered to aid him to claim his birthright as Lord Prince, and to remove the dark mark.
The scrawl on the bottom read, 'and I'm sorry I forgot that a werewolf is dangerous and that it could mean more than giving you a nasty fright. I hope you think I've paid with my time in Azkaban.'
Snape did not want to let go of his hatred, but he had to admit that he really could believe that bloody Black had forgotten that a class five-X dark creature was dangerous when the said creature was a friend of his. Feckless, irresponsible... and more.
If the offer was genuine...
So his frown was puzzled.
And Potter caught his eye, smiled, and nodded.
The boy had grown; not just physically, but now he carried an air of dignity ahead of him, like a house lord.
Snape inclined his own head in reply.
He accepted.
.
.
Breakfast next morning saw the twins making sure that Ron was nowhere near Hermione and Harry; but as the owls convened with mail, Errol, the elderly Weasley owl struggled to reach Harry, dropping off a red envelope.
"What, a howler for making sure she wasn't out of pocket, really?" said Harry, amused.
He opened it, to see what Molly would say.
"HARRY JAMES POTTER! YOU UNGRATEFUL WHELP, SPURNING MY AID AFTER ALL THAT I'VE DONE FOR YOU! DO YOU THINK YOU CAN BUY ME OFF AND KEEP ME FROM MAKING SURE THAT YOU MARRY GINNY AS YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO? NOW YOU JUST TELL THAT MUDBLOOD TROLLOP TO STAY IN HER PLACE AND WHAT SHE GIVES YOU LYING ON HER BACK DOESN'T MEAN SHE GETS TO MARRY YOU!"
"I'll get Ted Tonks to send her a solicitor's letter," said Hermione. "You?"
"Oh, more direct tactics," said Harry, summoning his patronus.
To his surprise, it was no longer Prongs, but a huge, golden lion.
"Well, hello... Aslan," said Harry. "Tell Mrs. Weasley that if she thinks she can get away with publicly slandering the houses of Black, Potter, and Dagworth-Granger, she is sincerely mistaken. Make sure the message sinks in."
The golden lion roared, and the great hall shook. Then it took off.
"Harry, what had you in mind?" asked Hermione.
"To knock her over, pick her up by the scruff and drop her in the pond," said Harry. "The patronus is protective magic and I want her to know I will protect you."
"I'll expect a written retraction of her slanders in the 'Prophet' for myself," said Hermione, coldly. "And while we are at it, the wards need updating."
"So they do," said Harry, standing and going to touch the wall. Hermione came to hold his hand.
Harry was hissing his desires in parseltongue, and Dumbledore was jolted suddenly as the wards updated themselves. Not only would no howlers be allowed inside, they would return to the sender.
"Harry! What have you done?" cried Dumbledore in lively horror.
"Your job for you, as usual," said Harry.
"Mr. Potter! Fifty points from Gryffindor for disrespect!" said McGonagall.
"But I don't respect him at all, why should I pretend to do so?" said Harry. "He should have reinstated the ward against howlers long since. He should have wards against seriously nasty wandwork in the corridors, and against sexual harassment, but he doesn't. I'll be rectifying this, now I'm confirmed Lord Slytherin, because like my predecessor, I believe in the safety of the castle and the pupils, even if Salazar went about things in a bit of a cock-eyed way at times. Basilisks are a bit less easy to control than wards, you know."
"Another fifty points from Gryffindor!" spat McGonagall.
"Tell you what, why don't we start at minus one thousand and see if we can get lower?" said Harry, waving towards the Gryffindor hourglass so that it emptied by one thousand rubies into the lower half.
"Harry!" said Seamus. "What are you up to?"
"Dispensing with hypocrisy," said Harry. "What do you care? What do house-points actually do for you? Do you get preferment in getting a job for your part in gaining them? No. Does the house that wins get some tangible prize like a book each, like in muggle schools? No. Do we gain privileges for house points, like the use of private sitting rooms, decent bathrooms, or proper cupboards to hang up our clothes instead of having to live out of trunks? No. We get... nothing. And so, house-points are worth... nothing."
"Detention!" said McGonagall.
"No," said Harry. "I've done nothing which the Hogwarts Charter says is worth a detention. You can't make me, and I don't intend to attend any detentions this year because I think your detention in the middle of the night in which you forced me to face Voldemort when he was drinking unicorn blood when I was eleven years old is such an example of stupid that I don't trust you to set fair detentions. What sort of idiot punishes kids for being out after curfew by sending them out after curfew and into the Forbidden Forest which is forbidden because it's dangerous? I'm only here to take my OWLs and then I'm done with you."
McGonagall could only splutter wordlessly.
It had been the headmaster's idea to send Harry out with Hagrid to see what was killing unicorns, and she had, for some reason, gone along with it.
And she was lucky not to have dead children.
Maybe Harry was right. Maybe it was time to update wards and dispense with hypocrisy.