A/N: Sickness bug has cleared, here's the next chapter. Enjoy.
October 1922
Mary entered the day nursery, she leaned against the doorway and smiled at the sight she saw. Charlie was lying on his front on the soft rug, trying to hold his little head up by himself as George lay in the same position in front of the baby; holding out a teddy bear that had been gifted to Charlie by her and Matthew on the day of his christening. Sybbie sat under the window, playing with some wooden blocks building a tower.
"Char-Char…bear!" George babbled.
The baby cooed as little Charlie lifted his head again to look at the bear his big brother held. Mary entered the room, smiling at Nanny as she saw on the floor and lifted George into her lap. She smoothed out her son's blond hair and kissed his cheek. At thirteen months old, George was already showing how intelligent he was, having mastered walking and now expanding his speech.
"Mama!" George said happily.
"Hello Georgie. Are you showing Charlie his bear?" Mary said lovingly.
"Bear." George cheered with a smile.
Mary smiled as she placed George on her right knee and used her hands to gently lift Charlie off the floor and hold him carefully over her left shoulder. The newborn smell of her baby filled her nostrils as she closed her eyes to savour the scent. The past two months had flown by for Mary. She had once again been cleared by Dr. Clarkson to resume marital acts and she felt a lot more herself than she had done the same time lapse after George's birth. But there was still a conversation that she and Matthew needed to have.
As she patted Charlie's back, Sybbie got up from her spot on the floor and shuffled to the small table between her bed and George's crib and picked up a book. The little girl walked over to Mary and placed the book in her lap.
"Would you like me to read to you, darling?" Mary asked softly.
Sybbie nodded, sitting opposite Mary and crossed her little legs. Mary smiled, looking into those blue eyes that her niece had inherited from her late sister. She asked Nanny to take the baby so she could the story and lifted Sybbie on to her left knee, circling her arms around the two children and opened the book in her hands.
"The Tale of Peter Rabbit." Mary said in a whisper.
"Rabbit!" Sybbie cheered, holding up her stuffed rabbit.
"That's right, Sybbie darling." Mary praised, kissing her niece on the forehead.
The little girl nestled in closer to Mary as she turned the page in the book and cleared her throat.
"Once upon a time there were four little rabbits, and their names were – Flopsy, Mopsy, Cottontail and Peter…" Mary began.
She read through the tale, enjoying the feel of her niece and her son in her arms as she read the story to them. She winced as George and Sybbie shuffled on her lap, as if unable to sit still as she read the book. Mary remembered the words with ease, recalling that this book had been one of Sybil's favourites as a young child and Mary was delighted to see that Sybbie followed in her mother's footsteps when it came to the story. When she finished reading, Mary closed the book and gave both children a kiss as she shuffled them off her lap and stood, turning to the now sleeping baby in his crib. Little Charlie lay on his back, his little mouth twitching in his sleep which only made Mary smile adoringly down at him. A warm feeling rushed through her, the one she usually got before she saw her husband's presence in the room. Turning her head, her eyes caught the blue eyes of her husband who stood in the doorway wearing an adoring smile on his beautiful face.
"Did you enjoy story time?" Matthew asked.
"I think the children did. I have dead legs from sitting like that for so long." Mary replied amusingly.
"Would you like to accompany me on a walk? I'd like to show you the latest developments with the farms." Matthew asked.
Mary nodded, giving the children one last kiss before hurrying out of the house with Matthew, dressed in her coat and boots to protect her from the wind and light rain that had come with October. She looped her arm through her husband's as they headed in the direction of the latest farmland to be developed with the new equipment investments that Matthew had made.
"I was hoping that we could discuss your wish to prevent more children." Matthew said quietly.
"I suppose now is a good time as any. At least to start discussing it. If we discussed it back at the house there would always be a chance we could be overheard." Mary agreed.
"Can you imagine Cousin Violet overhearing that conversation? It would be almost scandalous." Matthew chuckled.
"Knowing Granny, she would need her smelling salts." Mary smiled.
Matthew nodded and took a few moments of silence before continuing the topic of conversation.
"Having watched you give birth to Charlie…I've been given more understanding just how much you have to bear growing a child inside you and bringing it into the world. You were incredible, Mary, even if I hated seeing you in so much pain." Matthew said breathlessly.
"I'm not sure if I'm incredible, or even a wonderful mother as you've testified. But I love our boys. I don't know what's coming, what the future holds for us all but what I am sure of is that I want to wait until the boys are a little more independent before we think about expanding our family again." Mary said quietly.
"Of course. I think you've earned a well-deserved rest for a while." Matthew agreed.
"Have you had any thoughts about how many children we'll have?" Mary asked curiously.
"In my head, I have pictured a few more after George and Charlie. Maybe a daughter or two." Matthew said happily.
Four. Matthew wanted four children. She took a deep breath. In truth, Mary had never considered the total amount of children she and Matthew would have. Four seemed like a lot. Was it a lot? Of course, her parents would have had four if her mother hadn't lost her brother all those years ago. She felt fortunate to have two healthy sons in the nursery already, if she had four children, they might need to expand the nurseries.
"Mary? Are you alright?" Matthew asked, looking down at her.
"I don't know. I suppose hearing you say you've imagined us having four children…" Mary trailed off.
"Haven't you thought about how many more children you might want?" Matthew asked curiously.
"I haven't before now," Mary answered honestly, "I suppose not too many more I should imagine."
"How many is too many more?"
"I don't know, Matthew."
"I'm just curious, darling." Matthew said softly.
"Why do we have to debate how many more children we're having when we already have two children aged one and under?" Mary snapped.
The couple stopped walking and looked at each other. She hadn't meant to snap at him, but she felt annoyed with her husband. His curiosity about how many children she wanted to have in total…Did he want an army of children in the nursery? Did he want them to renovate an entire wing of the house just so their growing number of children had their own section to live in?
"Mary, I don't expect you to agree to anything you aren't comfortable with…" Matthew began hesitantly, "If you are content to only have George and Charlie, then I will be happy with that choice."
"Would you though?" Mary asked sceptically.
"In time. Two children are a blessing. It's not as if George will grow up as an only child." Matthew replied quietly.
"So, you would give up your dream of four children? Just so I'm not treated like some brood mare expected to birth child after child after child until Dr. Clarkson deems it too dangerous to fulfil my obligation?"
"I have not once said that I expect anything that society expects wives to do, Mary. Would I like a larger family? Of course. I never had any siblings to paly with, it was quite lonely at times. I just want us to have a realistic time frame where we prevent any more children." Matthew snapped.
"I feel like you're compromising quite a lot for me, Matthew." Mary muttered.
Matthew placed his hands on her cheeks, gently lifting her face so he could look her in the eyes. Mary wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling an urge to be close to him.
"I'm not compromising, Mary. We've done our duty, there is an heir and a spare in the nursery, so your father has a secure line to his title. If you want to wait five years or ten before we talk about another baby, then that's fine with me." He assured her in a soft whisper.
"I'm not saying we're never going to have another child, or even two. I just don't want them to be so soon. I want to rest; I have had two children in less than a year. I'm exhausted." Mary sighed.
Matthew nodded his understanding.
"Darling, I think if we added to our family in the next year or two you would be permanently exhausted. Besides, maybe I'm being selfish, I have a very beautiful wife who I want to make beautiful babies with. I would love a daughter or two to look like their mother, just maybe without her stubborn nature." He smiled.
Mary smiled as she playfully hit him on the shoulder.
"We have all the time in the world, darling. Let's review the topic in the future when we're settled with George and Charlie."
"I hope they can build an amazing bond." Matthew sighed happily.
"You know the sibling bond can be overrated, darling?" Mary teased.
"I don't know. You and Sybil always seemed close." Matthew commented.
"We were. Sybil was a darling. But Edith and I never had a close bond. We're always sniping at each other." Mary sighed.
"You should give Edith a break. She's had a tough time of late."
"Why is why she accompanied Rosamund to Geneva. Apparently, she's enjoying her time over there."
"Even so, when they return be mindful that she may still be heartbroken." Matthew encouraged.
"Over the editor? Surely, he can't be that hard to move on from." Mary tutted.
"Would you move on from me so easily?" Matthew queried.
That took her by surprise. She couldn't imagine a life without Matthew. Raising her children alone and running Downton with her father without Matthew…that was something that caused her to feel fearful.
"I…I don't want to think of a life without you…" Mary admitted quietly.
"It's painful darling. We're fortunate that we're living a wonderful life together. Edith has lost a man she loved-"
"Yes. She has terrible luck in the love department." Mary sighed.
"You can be cruel at times." Matthew commented.
"As you've said before. But you love me anyway?" Mary asked.
"Always my darling." Matthew assured her.
She accepted the brief kiss he placed to her lips as they continued their stroll. The topic of conversation moved on to a book that Mary had acquired which she requested they read in bed that night. When they reached the farmland, Matthew pointed out the new machinery the new farmhands were using and what their purposes were for before telling her of his plans for livestock and the buildings on the farm.
"We're consulting about getting some pigs and sheep as well as restoring the farm buildings in the spring." Matthew informed her.
"It sounds promising. What buildings need to be restored?" Mary asked.
"Living accommodations. Storage sheds, a barn, some food stores." Matthew replied.
"What work needs to be done on the living accommodations?" Mary asked.
"Roof, interiors, that sort of thing. Perhaps you could help with the interiors?" Matthew suggested.
Mary nodded her agreement as Matthew continued to show her the fields where the farmers were already harvesting and then moved on to the buildings that needed to be restored. All the storage sheds for equipment and machinery, the food stores and the barn were weathered and rotted. They were no longer efficient for their purposes and could see why Matthew was eager to restore them. She couldn't help but feel proud that her husband wanted to pour more life back into the land that had remained unproperly used and left to rot for so long.
Once they had finished their walk, they headed back to the house for afternoon tea. The conversations varied, nothing that held Mary's interest really. There was talk about Christmas, talk about Rose's coming out next summer and Cora announcing her intentions for it. Once tea was finished, Nanny brought the children into the library. Mary smiled as Nanny placed Charlie in her arms and Matthew sat with George and Sybbie went straight to Tom.
"How has Charlie been, Nanny?" Mary asked.
"He's a joy, milady," Nanny smiled, "A little fussy but he's been fed and wide awake now."
"He's a darling." Cora smiled from her seat.
Charlie cooed as Mary looked down at him, bouncing him slowly in her arms as George came over to her and held out his arms.
"Mama!" George said insistently.
"In a moment, Georgie. Mama has Charlie." Mary said delicately, trying to adjust Charlie in her arms.
"Mama!" George insisted angrily, holding out his arms higher and shuffling on his feet impatiently.
"In a moment." Mary said firmly.
George threw his bear at the baby and let out a howling scream. Charlie cried at the contact the stuffed bear made against his tiny body. Mary lifted the baby upright, resting him against her shoulder as she made soothing sounds in his ear as Charlie nestled his head in the crook of her neck.
"Master George!" Nanny scolded.
"It's fine, Nanny. He's just having a tantrum." Mary said firmly.
"I'll take him outside." Matthew stated.
She watched as Matthew held out his arms to George. Her son stubbornly refused to go willingly, shuffling away from his father and went limp as Matthew lifted the boy into his arms. George continued to scream, his little face turning blotchy and red.
"Come on my little chap, let's go and find some birds." Matthew whispered enthusiastically.
"Mama! Mama!" George cried hysterically.
Mary felt as if her heart would crumble as Matthew carried a wailing George securely out of the room. George's cries echoed in the great hall and eventually faded until they filled the grounds.
"Poor little chap!" Rose said sympathetically.
"He's still adjusting to Charlie and sharing our attention." Mary sighed.
"You were the same with Edith. You couldn't accept a new baby in the nursery so soon." Cora smiled.
"Well, I certainly hope that George learns to accept Charlie. I'd like my children to get along." Mary stated.
"I hope so too. But George is already showing a stubborn streak. I wonder where he gets that from?" Cora laughed.
Mary rolled her eyes. But there was truth in her mother's words.
She knew that having a baby so close in age to George would be difficult. Sometimes it felt that George was being pushed aside because Charlie needed nursing or soothing. Charlie was only two months old and whilst George did share some lovely moments with his baby brother, George was also showing jealousy and a need for attention. Both Mary and Matthew both tried to find equal alone time to spend with George. They had praised him happily when he had managed to start walking confidently and his words were a lot better than other children his age. But she prayed that in a year's time, the relationship between her two sons would be solid, unbreakable. Much unlike the relationship she had with Edith where they merely tolerated each other's presence.
After a little time with Charlie and Sybbie in the library, Mary was happy when Matthew returned with George, his little blond head resting on Matthew's shoulder as the boy snored lightly.
"Oh, the little darling." Mary gushed standing from her seat.
"He's tired himself out." Matthew sighed, carefully handing George to Nanny.
Nanny left the room with George, still fast asleep and took the boy back to the nursery. Mary handed Charlie to his father, smiling as Matthew started talking in whispers to his son. The baby gurgled before Matthew let out a surprised gasp.
"Mary…Mary…he's smiling." Matthew said hurriedly.
Rushing to Matthew's side, Mary looked over her husband's arm and down into her baby's face and felt her heart soar as she saw Charlie's mouth widen into a toothless smile.
"Oh darling!" Mary cried happily.
The other adults rushed around, determined not to miss out on seeing Charlie make his first smile. Everyone happily praised Charlie in a high-pitched voice until the baby started fussing from all the attention. Nanny had returned from the nursery, smiling in the doorway.
"I'll take the children back to the nursery, milady," Nanny said, carefully lifting Charlie out of Matthew's arms, "Come along Miss Sybbie."
The rest of the day went by in a blur. Isobel and Violet came for dinner and when the time came for them to retire, Matthew and Mary said goodnight and headed upstairs, stopping by the nursery to check on the children. Watching George, Charlie and Sybbie sleep was something Mary liked to do for a minute or two each night. She envied how they slept so peacefully, showing her just how pure they were. After placing a light kiss on the children's foreheads, she and Matthew departed the night nursery and headed to their bedroom and dressing room. Anna prepped Mary for bed, and Molesley dressed Matthew for the night before departing and leaving the coupe to climb into bed, cuddled up together in the centre.
"So…this book you wanted to tell me about?" Matthew asked.
Mary sat up, reaching into her bedside drawer, and pulled it out, handing it to her husband and blushed nervously.
"Marie Stopes?" Matthew asked.
"Yes, it's quite informative." Mary replied.
Matthew opened the book and read quietly about the methods of preventing pregnancy and his eyebrows raised. After he had read enough, Mary looked at him nervously as he closed the book and handed it back to her.
"So there's a thing-"
"Yes."
"And where would one get this…thing…" Matthew questioned curiously.
"Well, there's a shop…and then I would come away with it…and we would use it…when we make love…" Mary answered sheepishly.
"And what can I do? Surely you don't want sole responsibility in preventing a pregnancy?" Matthew asked.
"Well…if you want to, darling…but…"
"I think it should be both our responsibility." Matthew stated.
Mary felt surprised that Matthew was willing to take responsibility in preventing pregnancy. He hadn't exactly been happy when she had first mentioned all that time ago, she wanted to leave a gap between children after her pregnancy with Charlie.
"You would do that too? Even though it was my idea?" Mary asked sleepily.
Matthew nodded.
"Being present at Charlie's birth, seeing how much pain you were in…darling I decided that I would support you. If you want to wait a few years before we have another child, then I'll wait. As long as I can make love to you, hold you in my arms, I'll be content. You have given me the greatest blessing of all." Matthew stated softly.
Pulling him towards her, Mary kissed him thoroughly until she broke the kiss and let out a yawn.
"Let's get some sleep. We can talk more tomorrow." Mary yawned.
Matthew kissed the top of her head as Mary placed the book back in her drawer and cuddled up to her husband.