Richie was terrified. No, petrified. Of the possibility something would go wrong, of the possibility it would strain their marriage. He was so riddled with anxiety, it wasn't uncommon for him to just sob.
But this pregnancy was lasting longer than the last one, so he had some form of hope. Still, Richie didn't know how to feel about it all. It was hard to keep his hopes up, but he tried. He genuinely, actually tried. But all of this was taking its toll.
He was really worried, almost 25/8. Richie had even taken a break from his shows. He had to focus on keeping their baby healthy. Keeping it at that. The thought made him nauseous.
Richie, as of that day, was 12 weeks. And with how the months played through, it was close to Christmas now. Richie was actually starting to get excited. Their little one was bigger, and he was actually showing!
It made his lips twitch in a smile. Their baby was healthy, and was growing. There was a heartbeat and everything. It made him cry some days for so many different reasons. He was just so relieved.
Richie had a doctor's appointment that day, just to check up on the both of them. Both Eddie and him were hoping for the best, and Richie did his best to keep a positive state of mind.
So when the ultrasound wand went on his belly, he couldn't help but smile a little. Was it an anxious smile? Probably. But it was also a little exciting. Their baby was in there.
This was the first time they'd see an ultrasound. Last time it was too early to even see anything. But by the time the doctor's face morphed into a worried expression, his heart sank to his feet.
"I'm so very sorry..." The doctor frowns, watching as Richie sobbed brokenly into Eddie's chest. She was with them for the first one too. The baby didn't have a heartbeat... .
Eddie simply gave a sad nod in response, rocking back and forth as he held Richie close. He was crying with him. Richie had been so excited too... .
"I love you," Eddie murmurs. All he got in response were cries and Richie hugging onto him for dear life. And the next words made him shatter. This was going to break his husband.
"I hate to bring this up, I really do, but we have to act fast. The baby isn't breathing... and decaying in his uterus. We have to get it out, or he can get an infection," It was clear on her face just how awful she felt for the two. And delivering that piece of information is what truly broke Richie.
Richie sobbed as he buried his face into the junction of his neck, a hand resting against his barely swollen abdomen. Their little angel... .
"W-Why us..?" His voice was broken and strained. It made Eddie's eyes water all over again.
"I don't know, hun," Eddie murmurs back, "sometimes bad things happen to good people... no matter how unfair it gets.." But his heart still shattered. They lost another one. There were so many emotions going through his head and his heart. His heart hurt.
They were at the hospital for hours. Richie had a procedure to get the baby out, and he cried the entire time they waited.
Medically, it was called a D & C. They put Richie under, and took care out everything baby. It terrified him, but he wasn't allowed in. When Richie was out and in a recovery bed, Eddie held his hand through it all, but he was silent as his husband cried.
Their baby was gone... . His stomach felt weird, and it made him sick. By the time they got home, Richie felt numb in so many way. Baby number two... .
He swallows the lump from his throat before getting out of the car. Eddie was quick to join his side, helping his husband into the house. He was going to be in a lot of pain for a while.
"I-I don't wanna try for a while.." Richie mumbles, sitting down on the bed. Eddie nodded quickly.
"Alright," Eddie soothes, brushing his hair away to kiss Richie's forehead, "We don't have to," he only got a nod, and a plea for snuggles. How could he say no?
The day after, and Richie didn't leave the bed. Which Eddie expected. He didn't shower, which he too expected. His husband was spiraling into grief and heartbreak. Which he expected. Not to mention the physical pain.
Richie was experiencing a lot right now, and it was a lot to handle. The heavy bleeding, the cramping, the raging hormones in his system. He was a complete mess.
But Eddie was right there. He would hold him together. And he was beyond grateful. Richie needed him. And they needed each other to heal.
Eddie comes up to bed one night, rubbing Richie's side after he finally finished crying. He kisses his head and gets under the covers with him. "You're so strong... we can do this," He murmurs.
It got Richie crying all over again. But Eddie expected it. And he held Richie close, kissing his head and rubbing his back.
And all they wanted was a family... .