CHAPTER 4
I'm not really the praying type.
I sit on a wooden pew, staring up at a statue of Jesus on the cross. It seems kind of morbid to me; memorialising such a brutal death.
Candlelight flickers around the room, scattering fractured shadows along the beautiful stained glass windows. The soft sound of footsteps has my head turning and I see Dick making his way down the middle aisle toward me.
"Am I interrupting?" He asks.
"No."
I push myself further down the pew so he can sit next to me. At first, he's quiet, staring up at the alter like he sees something there.
"Do you believe in God?" I question, before I can really think through why I would even want to know. His eyebrows go up, gaze resting on me in surprise. I'm pretty sure he can't believe that I'm actually voluntarily speaking to him.
"No. I mean, I don't think so. Sometimes I wish I did. I think it'd be easier, to have unwavering faith in some higher power."
"I think faith makes people stupid."
He huffs out a smile and shakes his head. "Of course you do."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means you're a pessimist."
"No, I'm not." I look back up at the crucified Jesus. "I'm a realist. And the truth is that shit sucks and most of the time there's nothing we can do about it."
The weight of his gaze makes me want to squirm. "Right…not pessimistic at all," he says sarcastically.
"Did you want something, Grayson? Or did you just come in here for some idle chit-chat?" I demand.
He sighs, a long breath blowing out of his broad chest as he sits back. "I want to talk about Rachel."
"I'm listening."
"She feels safe here, protected," he begins and my hands curl into fists.
"If this is you planning your next escape, you don't need to tell me. You can just leave."
But he surprises me by shaking his head in vehement opposition. "It's not that at all. I'm not leaving. I was wrong the first time."
"You were wrong several subsequent times as well," I mutter, leaning my arms on the pew in front of me and looking over at him. A smile ticks up the side of his mouth, a breath of amusement coming out his nose. It's the most I've seen him smile in a single conversation and there is a small part of me - minuscule, really - that likes it.
"Yeah, probably. Look, I just think we should consider the idea that maybe this is the best place for her. She seems calmer here."
"Are you asking for my input?"
He nods. "I am. You know her best, maybe even better than she knows herself."
There is something warm about him coming to me like this, asking for my input, like he sees me as an equal instead of a charge. "I think…She does feel safe here. Because she grew up believing that God could keep the thing inside of her at bay. Her mom used to make her pray like a hundred times a day, had all these crosses hanging in her room. Melissa believed that Jesus could help so that's what Rachel believes too. But the truth is, she isn't possessed, this isn't the work of the devil." He tilts his head, like he's considering this. "And those people aren't going to stop coming after her. You really think the nuns are going to be able to protect her? With what, the power of Christ?"
Another small smile and a shake of his head. "So what do you think we should do then?"
Contemplating what I should tell him, I gently touch the bandage on my arm, covering the deep cut from last night. I remember how that family moved, how they fought. They were dangerous; whoever is coming after Rachel is powerful. "I think we need to get her off the grid, somewhere far away from…everything. It's the only way she'll be safe."
"She can't live in isolation forever."
"I know. But for now…" I trail off. He nods.
"For now, it's the best we got."
"You got a place in mind?"
"Yeah, a cabin Bruce owns in the forest. It's got sensors around the whole property; we'll be safe there."
That's convenient, I think. Then again, billionaire Bruce Wayne probably has hundreds of properties all over the world, one for every scenario imaginable. "We should give her the night here, at least. She deserves to feel safe for awhile."
"You both do," he says. The last place I felt safe was Dawn and Hank's and that didn't turn out so well. I've now come to the conclusion that safety is an illusion and one that is very easily shattered.
"There's a difference between feeling safe and actually being safe. Until the people who are coming after her are stopped - for good - she'll always be in danger," I point out.
"So…what? We should go on the offensive? Take the fight to them?"
I shrug, shake my head. "Fucked if I know. First step is to get Rachel off the grid, then we can worry about all that."
Finally in agreement with one another, I head off to tell Rachel the plan. Only she isn't in her room or in the kitchen with the sisters. Down the long, empty corridors, I call out her name and re-check the chapel. Dick is gone and Rachel is nowhere to be found.
"Excuse me, have you seen my friend, Rachel?" I ask one of the Sisters, who stops and studies me with a measured gaze.
"I haven't, I'm afraid," she replies and I'm no mind-reader like Rachel but I know a liar when I see one.
"Really?" My voice takes on a hard edge and I step closer, my fingers curling into a fist. "I hope you're telling me the truth Sister, because I won't hesitate to slap a bitch no matter how close to God you are."
Her lips purse together in righteous indignation. "Perhaps you can try the garden outside. I think I saw her head that way," she bites out and I turn on my heel, jogging down the hall and toward the double doors leading outside.
The garden is a maze of hedges and tall trellises covered in vines and flowers.
"Rachel!" I call. "Rach, are you out here?" A feeling of dread builds in my stomach. I get lost out there, searching for her. The sun has begun to set, melting down into the horizon, by the time I head back to the convent. I push on the wooden doors but they're locked shut. "You've got to be kidding me." They freaking locked me out! "Petty bitches," I mutter as I walk around the building. Hopefully the front entrance will be unlocked.
A scream pierces the air and I freeze, my blood running cold. That's Rachel. I break into a sprint, trying desperately to get to her, when an explosion shakes the very ground beneath my feet and I am violently thrown back, into darkness.
~O~
"Her vitals are stable, but she's sustained serious head trauma. We need to get her to the hospital now," the paramedic says, inserting a needle into Will's arm.
Dick stares down at her, unable to move. A trail of blood stretches from her temple down to her jaw, soot and ash making her blonde hair dark. She looks dead. Her chest barely rises and falls and there's no flicker of her eyelids or slight twitches of her body. She's completely and utterly still.
"Dick. Dick!" Kory shakes him and he blinks, turning to her. "They'll look after Will. We have to find Rachel, quickly."
He nods, knowing she's right. But as they turn away to head back to his car, he hesitates.
She's hurt because of you, a voice in his head says, sounding eerily similar to Bruce's. You failed her. You left her here. You're going to fail Rachel too.
"Dick, we gotta go," Kory insists and he finally manages to tear his gaze away from Will. There's nothing he can do to help her now except find Rachel and make sure she's safe.
~O~
I wake up slowly and at first the only thing I can think is that it's fucking cold. I shiver, pulling the thin blanket up over my shoulders and feeling the prick of a needle in my arm. A drip.
The hospital room is small and blindingly white. My head pounds like a jackhammer. I struggle to sit up, arms weak and shaking.
A nurse jogs in, worried frown set in place. "Miss you need to lie down, please. Lie down."
"I'm fine, I'm—…I have to find my friend… I have to…" I try to get up but I can't, everything blurring together into a confused mess.
"That's it, lie back," the nurse coaxes me down, her face distorting as I go and my eyes sliding closed.
The next time I wake, Dick Grayson is sitting by my bedside. I blink at him, studying his disheveled hair and rumpled jacket. He's staring blankly across the room, lost in thought.
"Where's Rachel?" I croak out and he sits forward when he realises I'm awake.
"She's here, she's safe. Kory took her and Gar to get something to eat."
"Gar? What the fuck is a Gar?"
The slightest uptick of his mouth. "I'll explain it to you later. Important thing is she's alright."
I groan as I push myself up; everything aches, but I feel better than I did the last time I was conscious.
"I'm sorry, Will," he says, the sincerity in his voice making me pause. He's always so earnest, those grave eyes unwavering. "I left to go find Kory and…I should've been there."
"Not everything is your fault, as much as I'd like to blame you." I rub my neck, trying to ease the tension in it. "I'm fine, Rachel's fine, so everything's fine."
He smiles again and I can't tell if the feeling in my stomach is butterflies or nausea. Best to go with the latter. "I think that's the most optimistic I've ever heard you."
"Yeah well, don't get used to it."
The door to my hospital room opens and Kory and Rachel enter. Outside, the boy I saw Rachel with at the skating rink hovers awkwardly.
"You have no idea how happy I am to see you," I grin at Rachel.
"Hey," she replies, very quietly. "You're ok." She leans back against the far wall, not coming near me. The smile slips from my face.
"Yeah 'course I am. I'm totally fine."
Her eyes fixate on the ground, unable to meet mine, as she nods. I'm not going to lie; I thought she'd be happier to see me. I expected a hug, at least.
I look over at Grayson and he stands up right on cue. "We'll give you two some space, but I spoke to the doctor earlier and he said when you woke up you could be discharged. We should get moving as soon as possible."
With a quiet agreement from Rachel and I, he and Kory leave us alone.
"That guy out there, the one with the green hair…He's with us now?" I ask and she nods. "He's cute, right?" I'm trying to make her smile, but it doesn't work. She says nothing and still won't look at me. "Rach, I'm ok. Everything's fine. What happened wasn't your fault."
"Wasn't my fault?" She repeats, her voice so low I barely hear it. "I blew you up, Will."
"That makes it sound worse than it is. And you didn't mean to, I know that. No harm, no foul."
She finally looks up at me and there are tears brimming in her eyes. "You're lying in a hospital bed. Dawn is lying in a hospital bed. My mom is dead. All I do is hurt the people I care about."
I wish so badly that I could get up and hug her tightly, but I don't trust my legs to hold my body weight just yet. Plus, I think I'm naked under this hospital gown.
"Listen, none of that is your fault, alright? It was out of your control."
She shakes her head, tears slipping down her cheeks. "Let's just get out of here," she whispers hoarsely and walks out of the room.
~O~
"We not actually staying here, are we?"
We all stare up at the rundown motel before us, the white paint peeling and the 'MOTEL' sign half-knocked down. Kory in particular looks unimpressed.
I don't really care; I've slept worse places. Besides, my head is killing and I just want to lie down on something reasonably soft, no matter how fancy the room is.
"You know there's probably a nicer place down the road," Kory points out.
"We're being hunted by sociopaths. Nicer places draw attention," Dick says. "This place has one road in, same road out. Only one point of access—"
"God, I hate listening to you talk." I push open the door to our new minivan and jump out, breathing in some fresh air. Being cramped in there with the talkative Gar and the increasingly distant Rachel is hellish. Rachel's whole attitude has me on edge. I feel like she's about to explode again at any moment.
That's why I'm glad when Dick comes out of the motel reception and gives us all separate rooms. Under normal circumstances, I'd much rather have Rachel in sight, but space right now sounds like a good idea. Which is why I'm monumentally ticked off when Dick herds us all into his room before we can even settle down.
"We, as of right now, are a group of people who share a common enemy," he says.
"Which makes us what?" Kory questions.
Dick hesitates. "Let's call it an alliance. One born of mutual need. And if we're going to beat the people coming after Rachel, then we need to be able to fight in unison."
"If this is your attempt at a rousing speech, I think it's failing," I mutter.
"Can you cut it out for five minutes?" He says and I pinch the bridge of my nose. I'm not trying to be a bitch, but Rachel icing me out is really getting to me. She sits as far away from me as possible, across the room, astutely ignoring my existence. "In order to properly fight together, we need to learn each other's moves."
And that's how we end up in a barn a few miles from the motel. I sit on a stack of hay bales, my legs crossed and my chin in my hand.
Kory steps up first. She glows red like the sun and fire erupts from her hands, smashing into the tractor across the barn and burning a hole clean through it. It's beyond impressive and I won't deny my relief at having her on our side. She'll definitely be able to protect Rachel when it comes down to it.
Gar comes forward next and begins…undressing.
"What the fuck?" I question as he ducks behind some hay bales at the back of the barn.
"Just trust me - it'll be worth it!" He calls out.
What a strange kid—
There is a loud roar and we all flinch as a green-tinged tiger stalks out from behind the hay bales. "No way," I breathe.
"That's him?!" Dick exclaims.
Tiger-Gar lets out another deep growl. From my perch up on the hay bales, I lean down and hold my hand out. He pads forward and sniffs my hand. There is a terrifying moment where I think he's going to chomp down on my whole arm, but he doesn't and happily lets me smooth my palm over his head.
"He's soft," I look over at the others.
"Patting him is kind of weird," Rachel points out and I quickly pull my hand to my chest.
When he turns back, bones cracking and fur receding, he apparently forgets he's naked and we all look away, groaning.
"Gar!" Rachel calls out and he quickly slips back into his clothes.
"Alright, Rachel you're up," Gar nods to Rachel who looks down.
"No, no I can't. I could hurt someone." Her eyes dart up to me and away again.
"It's ok, Rach. You've got this," I nod to her but she backs away, shaking her head.
"No. I won't, not while you're here." She retracts into herself, her arms wrapping around her body and her shoulders hunching over.
I shake my head and look away in an attempt to hide how much I hate this.
"Ok…uh, what do you do, Will?" Gar asks me.
"Me?" I shrug. "I'm purely ornamental apparently. I sit here and look pretty." The snark in my voice must piss Rachel off because she turns on her heel and marches out of the barn.
I curse under my breath and rub my eyes hard with the heels of my palm.
"Um…what-what do you do, Dick?" Gar tries to lighten the mood, sounding monumentally awkward.
"Yeah, what do you do, Grayson?" I question as I jump down from the hay bale to follow Rachel outside.
"I can keep you all alive," he replies and I roll my eyes.
"That doesn't mean anything!" I call back, slipping out the slightly ajar doors. Rachel stands in the stretching field alone, a solitary figure dressed in black, her long robes swaying in the breeze. I make my way up to her, coming to a stop at her shoulder. "Can you talk to me, please? What is going on?"
She stares out across the tall grass, unresponsive.
"Rachel?" I push.
Nothing.
Frustrated and exhausted, I have no choice but to leave her be.
~O~
A gentle knock on my motel room door jolts me out of my swirling thoughts. "Come in," I call, sitting up from the bed.
The door opens and Dick walks through, making me slump in disappointment. I thought maybe Rachel was coming to finally talk.
"You should lock your door," he tells me.
"Then I'd have to get up to answer it." I slide back into bed, pulling the blanket up to my chin.
"You're not feeling well," he states.
"I'm fine…just a little run down."
He sits on the corner of the bed, lacing his fingers together and resting his forearms on his knees. "Rach'll come around. She's just upset that you got hurt."
I pick at a loose thread on the sheets so I don't have to meet his eyes. "What if she doesn't? We don't fight, me and her. We argue sometimes but…It's never been like this between us before."
"You've both gone through a lot in the past few weeks. You can't expect that to not change your dynamic."
"I guess," I murmur. "I don't know how to get through to her."
"She just needs time. When she's ready, she'll come to you." He sounds so sure that I really start to believe him.
"Alright…if that's all you can get out of my room now. I need about twenty hours of sleep." I kick his thigh until he gets up.
At my door, he turns back to look at me. "Lock the door behind me," he instructs and I nod, but when the door clicks shut, my eyes slide closed and I quickly fall asleep.