"He actually asked you to join up?"

"Yep."

"The guy's nuts!"

"Ugh, tell me about it."

They sat in a circle around the campfire, its flickering light mesmerising. Lloyd's legs itched a little, still healing from Genis' spell earlier. The half-elf in question stirred the pot. Lloyd's stomach griped at the wait, but he was thankful that his senses were responding as usual.

"And then?" Raine prodded, her lips thin.

"And then, when I said no, Kratos tried to change my mind."

"Kratos!" spluttered Sheena, and most of the group's eyes darkened. But not Lloyd's. And, unbeknownst to him, neither did Colette's; she simply looked at him in worry.

Lloyd could not stop thinking of the guy. The way Kratos had stared at him just before his key crest had been taken off shook him to his core. It was… How could he put it? It was a thousand emotions in one terrifying moment. It was as if Kratos had regretted everything that had put them into that situation.

Initially, he had thought it wishful thinking. But as time went on, indistinct memories of Lloyd's tenure as a soulless angel began to return.

It was enough to convince him that Kratos wasn't wholly on Yggdrasill's side. Someone who spoke like that, whose expression was that of a man grieving every time he glanced at Lloyd and livid whenever he laid eyes upon Yggdrasill… There had to be something more to it. Something that Lloyd didn't know.

He had not brought it up to the others, though. They wouldn't understand. Not yet.

The first time his eyes had met Kratos', he had thought, I know this guy.

It was such a strong, yet somehow vague feeling. Those burgundy eyes had burned into him. It staggered him. He'd almost blurted it out right then and there, despite the surrounding events not exactly being conducive to having a conversation about such a topic.

He tried to shove it to the back of his mind. He gaped at the pockmarked stones, at the twisting vines indicating the temple's age. He played with the Sorcerer's Ring until Kratos snapped at him, to which he responded with a sullen grunt. Colette and Genis had gawked at the startlingly subdued manner with which he'd reacted.

Yet, no matter how hard he strained his brain, he could not figure out where from. Iselia was a small village: everyone knew everyone. It was seldom that devout travellers came; fear of the Desians kept many away in spite of the treaty. However, Kratos was a mercenary, bought by money, and he didn't seem all that interested in religion. Dad's superb workmanship attracted some foreigners to their humble abode, but Lloyd's interactions with customers were limited to only a few exchanges—certainly not enough to strike him with this strange, profound impression of familiarity.

"Do you recognise him from anywhere?" he whispered to Genis. Colette and the mercenary walked ahead of them. As they watched, the blonde tripped, saved only by Kratos' impressive reflexes. Lloyd twitched, restraining the compulsion to leap to her side. "In Iselia? Or somewhere on your travels before you came here?"

Genis threw him a sidelong glance. "No. Why?"

"I just think I know him, is all," Lloyd said, scratching his cheek. He swung a wooden sword back and forth in his free hand, bonking slimes here and there. "I can't shake the feeling. And you're smart, so you've got a better memory than me."

"Weird," declared Genis, half-laughing at the last remark, then paused. He tapped a finger on his kendama handle. "Maybe from before Dirk picked you up?"

"I don't really remember much from before that." His expression was pained.

"Sometimes memories linger in our subconscious, even when we can't recall those events explicitly."

"Ex-pliss… Huh?" Lloyd scrunched his nose up, mystified, and shook his head. "Never mind. You could be right. Usually are, over stuff I don't get."

Genis blushed at the unexpected compliment. "Heh, yeah." He chewed at his lip, thinking. "Thing is, memories that remain for that long are often associated with intense emotions—for instance, a traumatic incident—or someone you were frequently in contact with."

"I don't really get it, but you're saying that this guy knows something about my past?" Lloyd's face was unreadable now.

Genis wanted to backpedal. That look never failed to incite his panic. Nothing good ever came of it. "Uh, maybe? Or maybe not? Could be that he just happens to look like someone you used to know?" he stammered, not wanting to give his friend false hope. He began to laugh, awkward. "I mean, what are the chances?"

A moment later, Lloyd joined in, a little embarrassment crossing his features. "Yeah."

Genis didn't realise it then but, in retrospect, Lloyd's eyes had not crinkled the way they did when he was truly smiling.

After the giggles had died down, Genis suggested tentatively, "You could still ask him, though? Wouldn't hurt…"

"Nah," Lloyd dismissed. "What are the chances?"

Yet the suspicion never left him.

That evening, Lloyd's voice floated to Kratos' ears, carried by the breeze.

He had not meant to eavesdrop. However, his senses were more sensitive than other non-angelic beings, excluding possibly the protozoans and most people did not know that. For obvious reasons.

"Regardless of who your real father is, you're still you. Nothing's changed."

Kratos stared at the gravestone before him. At each letter, engraved with care upon the cold stone. Anna would have been pleased with the setup. (She would have been happier to survive, though.) White flowers stemmed from lumpy pots. Lloyd's handiwork, no doubt.

His son's.

"You just have two fathers. Just think of yourself as being lucky for having more than most people do."

Lloyd did not deserve him as a father. No one did. Dirk was his only father, as far as the teenager was concerned. And Kratos should allow it to stay that way.

He closed his eyes. No tears fell. The last time he had begged them to was fourteen years ago. Yet they were dry as the Triet desert. He had never cursed his angelic state more.

On one hand, it was useful that he did not betray his emotions when he was around people who would sooner take advantage than leave him be. Or around a certain boy whom he had believed dead. On the other, tears were cathartic, and the lack of them meant he bottled everything up.

Indeed, that was nothing new. Kratos had been suppressing things since long before he had put on that Cruxis Crystal.

"Anna, forgive me," he said, knowing he would not receive it. For he could not forgive himself.

"I'm so glad you're with us again." Genis beamed. They'd retreated to the outskirts of the camp to talk, just the two of them.

Lloyd grinned down at him. "Me too."

"Of course, I definitely didn't miss the stupid comments."

His grin fell flat instantly. "Shut up, Genis."

The boy giggled. And then sobered.

"I'm serious, though. We lost Colette for a while, did our best to keep her away from Cruxis—and then the same thing happens to you." Genis' hand tightened around Marble's exsphere. "Do you know how it feels to have both my best friends go through that?"

Lloyd swallowed. "Sorry."

The boy slapped his own face and glared up at Lloyd. "Don't you go acting like Colette, now! I don't need your apologies."

Lloyd opened his mouth. Closed it against the automatic sorry that almost slipped out.

"When we found out what happened to you, I really hated Yggdrasill at that moment." Genis gave a hollow laugh. "I don't think I've hated any Desians up till now. I just… was sad that they were doing such horrid things to people, sad that they felt like they were being pushed to reject humans because they'd been rejected themselves.

"But when I saw your eyes, that you didn't have a key crest anymore—I really, really wanted to—" He choked.

Lloyd couldn't breathe.

Genis' eyes were bright with unshed tears. "Can you imagine? Me, hating my own kind. I've always hated humans, but when the one human I don't gets put in danger, I flip on my race." He rasped as he inhaled. "When, when does the cycle end? I don't… want to hate the world."

As Genis stared down at his feet, emptied of passion, Lloyd did not know what to think. So, he didn't.

He knelt beside his friend and grasped his shoulder firmly. "I don't think you hate everyone, Genis."

"Wha…?"

He smiled. "You've been travelling with us all this time, right? You don't hate Zelos or Presea or Regal, do you?"

"Well, Zelos is debatable, but—"

Lloyd couldn't prevent the snort.

"—Regal's nice and cooks really well." Pink coloured his cheeks. "And Presea's… really nice, too."

Playful, Lloyd tapped him on the forehead. "Dork."

Genis' hands came up to shield his skin from further torture. "H-hey! That word's for Colette!"

"I call it how it is!"

"I'm not a dork!"

"If you act like that around Presea, what else are you?" The paling moonlight caught Lloyd's mischievous grin.

Genis stuttered incoherently.

"I… You…! H-How about Colette, then?!" he managed at last.

Lloyd tilted his head, blank. "Whaddya mean?"

Genis could only gawp at him. "What do you mean, whaddya mean? Don't you… isn't there anything you feel for her?"

His friend blinked rapidly. "Uh… She's our best friend!" Lloyd began to smile again. Ever since they'd met, Colette had always been there for the both of them. Even with all her Chosen-y duties, she had always made time for them. He couldn't imagine life without her by his side. That's why… "Seriously, Genis, what else would she be?"

Genis slammed a palm against his forehead. "I give up!" he yelled, and tramped back to camp.

"What are you even on about?!" Lloyd scrambled after him.

"I feel sorry for her!"

They continued their bickering all the way back, so loud that everyone was stuck in place staring at them, mouths open. Lloyd stopped.

"Um… You okay, guys?" He laughed, now self-conscious.

"I'd forgotten how noisy it gets with Lloyd around," Sheena said in awe. Beside her, Regal nodded.

"Oh, absolutely," agreed Zelos.

Raine's lips were pursed. "Regardless of how relieved we are to have Lloyd back to normal, it was highly imprudent for the two of you to produce so much volume. We are still on the road and vulnerable to another attack, whether by Cruxis, monsters, or other. Lloyd's assault today already took us by surprise and we cannot afford another; we are still recuperating from that."

The two boys had already been cringing in shame during Raine's upbraiding, but everyone flinched hard when she mentioned the events from earlier. Lloyd hung his head.

"Yes, Professor…"

Silence reigned for a moment. And then Lloyd's stomach growled.

"You're still hungry?!" Genis rolled his eyes.

"Can't I make up for when I wasn't?"

"It doesn't work that way!"

"Why not?"

Colette's pleasant laughter filled the air. She smiled as Lloyd's eyes met hers. "I'm glad."

He matched her expression. "So am I."

"O-kay, sleep time!" hollered Zelos, clapping. He'd had enough, apparently.

"Retiring now will effect ninety per-cent efficiency compared to eighty-two in an hour's time."

"That's my rosebud!"

Lloyd went over to his pack and pulled out his sleeping roll to set it up. They had not pitched the tents; the sky was unusually clear and the air lacked the humidity characteristic of approaching precipitation. Nevertheless, that would not have changed his decision.

He didn't want to sleep under a roof tonight.

Lloyd lay himself down and fixed his gaze above. He wasn't tired yet, but he had done this numerous times over their journey. He knew his eyes would droop closed when it was time.

"It's a magnificent night, is it not?" Regal's voice sounded next to him.

Assuming that 'mag-something' meant 'nice', Lloyd answered, "Yeah. It's… been a while." He hesitated.

"Is something wrong?" Heh. He always knew what to say. Still, Lloyd juggled the thought for a while.

"How long's it been, exactly?"

Regal said nothing.

"I didn't… want to ask earlier. Everyone already looked—I dunno, like it's already been ages?" He bit the inside of his cheek. "And I was kinda out of it for most of it… but that's the feeling I get, too."

"Just over a week."

His eyes burned suddenly. Only a week. A week too long.

It was quiet, then. It reminded him of the suffocating quiet within his exsphere. Cruxis Crystal. But, in the distance a cricket chirped, mouse claws squeaked against tree bark, and a wolf pack howled to the moon.

That was enough.

Regal's sleeping bag rustled as he adjusted his position to lie more comfortably. "Instead of regretting the time you lost, you should remember how much everyone missed you."

"Huh." Lloyd blinked, then smiled. "Yeah, I guess… I'm glad we're all friends."

He frowned, later. He could hear Regal's quick, shallow breathing, knowing he was not yet too close to slumber to chat to. "Hey, Regal."

"Yes?"

The key crest had lain on his hand for many a year—a heartening weight. Now, the skin exposed by its absence was hyper-sensitive. And the careful way Regal moved, the way his breath hitched when a rib expanded too near the bandaged wound in his side, was all too loud in Lloyd's ears.

"I don't want you guys to get hurt because you're worrying about me. So… if this happens again—if I lose myself again — I want you to forget about holding back."

Regal was silent a moment. Then he said, "You won't. And you wouldn't."

Lloyd gave a small chuckle. "Yeah, maybe. And I know we'll get a key crest and we'll all find a way to stop Yggdrasill and get the Eternal Sword. But in the meantime… Promise?"

He sighed. "All right. I promise."

Lloyd could feel the heaviness in his comrade's heart, but his own felt lighter now.

Regal turned on his side, back facing Lloyd. "Good night, Lloyd."

"Yep. You, too."

The stars filled his vision. They were the same as in Tethe'alla, Lloyd had noticed. The constellations sometimes had different names and stories attached to them, yet they were otherwise identical. He had thought it a bit odd but had kept it to himself after everyone else had set aside the parallels between the Holy Ground of Kharlan and the Tower of Salvation. They had had other things to worry about back then. Still did. Well, now it made sense.

It was not until the Professor went to tap Sheena on the shoulder for her shift that Lloyd realised he was still wide awake despite lying down for three hours.

Chills ran down his entire body. He waited a while longer, and the welcome feeling of leaden eyelids did not come. Finally, he sat up, trying to look somewhat groggy.

Sheena glanced at him from across the dwindling campfire. "Had a bad dream?"

"Yeah, sort of… Mind if I sit next to you?"

Her ears went slightly red, for some reason. "Feel free!"

They looked out into the night in comfortable silence. Then Sheena asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Lloyd thought it over. "Nah, it's all right."

She leaned back a little, tracking the moon's course across the heavens. "I won't ever forget what you guys did for me."

He tilted his head towards her. "Huh? What did we do?"

She chortled. "You helped me make my peace with Volt and Corrine, and with Mizuho. At least, with the people who matter to me. I can hold my head up high now because I know everyone's got my back."

He scratched the side of his face, not having expected the overflow of praise. "It's not like I… We're friends now, so obviously we're gonna do whatever we can."

"Even before, you let me join up, even though I'd been trying to kill Colette for half her pilgrimage," Sheena said, on the verge of incredulity. "We weren't friends then."

"Well. You seemed like a nice person, once I decided to try. And Colette was the one who insisted in the first place."

Sheena smiled. "Colette, huh?"

His forehead furrowed in annoyance. "Why does everyone keep saying that?"

"Nothing." He sulked at her but soon gave up.

Her smile was dim. "Whatever Colette said, you were definitely on board. I can't believe you kept approaching me all the time."

"You were playing with the kids in Luin! Some random assassin wouldn't do that."

"You literally came up to me in Palmacosta."

"Um," he defended. "You weren't trying to kill anyone?"

Sheena shook her head in defeat. "Sometimes… You're so soft-hearted."

"What?"

"No," she amended, and her forehead creased. "I don't think you can afford to be anything other than trusting."

Lloyd examined his hands, full of blood. Iselia. Kratos. The Renegades and Palmacosta. "It's hard."

She smiled a little, eyes lidded. "It is. But if you hadn't given me a second chance, I wouldn't be here."

He blinked slowly. "None of us would."

Sheena didn't know what to say to that.

"I might take a walk," he said out of the blue, standing.

She watched as he buckled on his swords and shrugged on his jacket. "Come back before midnight, okay?"

He gave her a lopsided grin. "Sure."

She turned away hurriedly, but Lloyd knew she wasn't upset. He raised an eyebrow and went to explore under the cover of darkness.

He made his way back about an hour before the moon reached its zenith, mind perhaps a touch calmer now that he'd had a bit of time to process what had taken place that evening. Sheena nodded at him as he unbelted his blades and wiggled back into his bedroll. He closed his eyes.

He was still nowhere close to falling asleep.

Should he tell them? He probably should. He had gotten angry when Colette had kept it from him. It wouldn't be fair to keep mum about it. But it was just sleeping—he could still eat, still taste and feel touch. He could still talk. It was such a little thing in comparison to what she went through.

He would be able to keep watch until dawn, though, if he came out with it. Everyone else could have a full night's sleep. And he would be so bored pretending to be asleep and doing nothing—he already was! This way, he could even get a little more sword practice in and stuff. Carve a few bits and pieces for his friends, make Colette a few dogs.

He could avoid the nightmares.

That sounded good.

He kept himself buried under his covers as Sheena went to wake Colette. There was a murmur of voices—Lloyd tried his best not to eavesdrop, but it was difficult—and the swishing of fabric accompanied by light footsteps. He wasn't good at feigning being asleep, so the ninja could likely tell he was awake; still, she did not say a thing. She probably did not want to disturb his 'attempts' to slip under. After some time, Sheena's breathing evened out and her heart rate slowed. It was a bizarre feeling, being able to identify the exact moment when someone entered the throes of deep sleep.

Something to get used to. There were a lot of things to get used to, now.

Lloyd inched the blanket off his torso, careful not to make any abrupt movements so that he didn't awaken Presea and the Professor, who were sleeping lightly at this stage.

"Lloyd? What are you doing up?"

Colette's voice held an undercurrent of unease.

He smiled faintly. "You could tell, huh."

Her expression shattered.

He went to offer his warmth, squash close as they had as kids. She hugged him, tears threatening to fall. His heart clenched at the sight. Only a few months before, they had changed positions.

"I can still feel everything, y'know," he said, as if it would make her feel better. "Ate just fine at dinner."

She clutched him more forcefully. "Stop it."

"Colette."

"Why did you have to do this?"

Lloyd didn't say anything, and she kept rambling. "Why did you have to keep trying to bring me back? If you hadn't, you could be living happily in Iselia, mana back to normal, even if… Even if Cruxis was all a lie, you could have still—"

He took her shoulder, stilling her. "Colette." She tipped her chin up to meet his eyes, dark brown in the night. "Did you think I would let you go anywhere without me? 'Cause I wouldn't."

"It would have been better if you did!"

"No, Colette." His mouth was a line. "There are things I wish I hadn't done. Things I wish I'd known."

Salty tears pricked her eyes. She knew precisely what he was talking about.

"I wished you wouldn't keep these things from me," he said. "Am I that untrustworthy? Do you not trust me?"

"It's not that," she whispered. "I can't trust myself."

His Adam's apple bobbed up and down. "I want you to trust me. I don't know if I can forgive myself for not knowing."

Her eyes widened, dread pooling in her gut. "There's nothing to forgive. I didn't tell you."

"I should have noticed!" He balled a fist, nails sinking into calluses. Genis groaned, hand flapping out to slap the Professor's forearm. She didn't react, unconsciously accustomed to her brother's touch. Lloyd and Colette hushed their voices, not wanting to wake anyone up.

"I didn't want you to worry about me."

"Dammit, Colette, what if I want to?"

She didn't understand.

He sighed then. "Aren't we friends? Because if we are, then I want you to share everything with me. I'll do the same."

Her heartbeat boomed in her chest. Did he realise what he saying?

"Listen. It's too late to do anything about what we did in the past." Lloyd fixated on her with determined eyes. "But I'd never regret coming with you."

"I…"

"Can you let me take on just a bit of your problems?"

She didn't reply.

He exhaled again, shoulders dropping. "Okay. I get it." He pressed a hand against his eyelids. "All right. I won't push. I'm sorry."

Lloyd stepped away and vanished into the dark.

Colette stared after him, wanting to run to him, to grab his hand and beg him to stay. His eyes were so despondent. It was in the contraction of his jaw, in the way he stood and distributed his weight more evenly: she knew he would have cried if his body had allowed it. She didn't know if she could stand losing him again. Yet something immobilised her.

"I'm so sorry, Lloyd," she breathed, knowing he could no longer hear her. "I can't. I need time."

That was something they did not have.

Pronyma knelt before her leader, her head bowed.

"My lord, I regret to inform you that I failed to collect Martel's vessel, and neither was I successful in retrieving Lloyd Irving. I accept whatever punishment you choose to render upon me."

"Details, Pronyma."

"Lloyd Irving was able to stave off his former companions well enough and managed to subjugate the Chosen. He did not react to any of their pleas. However, before he could remove himself from their group, it seems he regained his self under circumstances similar to the Chosen's. I made to intervene, but several of Lord Yuan's detestable Renegades intercepted me. I was forced to withdraw and report to you."

"Hm."

"Lord… Yggdrasill?"

"No, nothing. So, we have a process for recovering from Angel Toxicosis without a satisfactory key crest. How very intriguing. I would be quite fascinated to know its repeatability. Were you able to ascertain whether any symptoms remained?"

"Negative, my lord; I could not get close enough to him to observe him well, and neither did the Chosen of Tethe'alla contact me. I shall be sure to reprimand him for his laxity."

"Don't worry about him. He's grown fond of Lloyd and his friends. Nevertheless, he will abide by Cruxis when all is said and done. In any case, return to monitoring Kratos' movements and keep your ears to the ground for any hint of Yuan's, for now."

"As you wish, Lord Yggdrasill."

"But do remind the Chosen of what is at stake."

A/N: It doesn't make sense to me why Lloyd didn't recognise Kratos at all in the source material, because I have personally recognised family friends I had last seen when I was less than two years old. So I changed it a little. Maybe I just have way too good a memory.

I show this stuff to barely any of my fellow real-life writers. How else am I going to get better without constructive criticism from you guys?