"-oro? Zoro, can you- can you hear me? ZORO!"
Blinking groggily, Zoro forces his eyelids open with extreme reluctance to find his captain peering down at him, face pale with concern. It takes several seconds for him to realize he's sprawled naked on the wet tiles of the Going Merry's bathroom floor with his head and shoulders nestled in Luffy's lap and shaky fingers moving through his hair, unsteadily stroking his scalp.
He's also soaking wet, and there's warm water drumming against his rib cage from the detachable showerhead wand Luffy's clutching with his opposite hand as though someone might attempt to wrest it from his grip at any moment. "Sen-" His voice catches and he lifts a shaking hand to his throat, which feels as though he's been gargling with sand. "S-Sencho?"
"Yeah… you're awake…"
"Shit, did I pass ou-?" His query dissolves into an unbidden noise of distress as he tries to lever himself upright on one elbow and his vision nearly greys out when his spine protests. And not just his spine; his entire body's complaining at top volume. Especially everything below his waist. It feels as though he's been fucked raw, his ass pounded for so long that it's left his rim stretched wide and gaping even now that he's empty.
Well- maybe not completely empty. As he lets his abused pelvis sink back to the floor, he's made abruptly aware of the slippery mess between his buttocks when his movement sends a little more of the fluid left inside trickling free.
Luffy sees him shifting and looks embarrassed. "I didn't know if I should- … I mean-" His gaze slides away momentarily, studying the floor before hesitantly returning. "I wasn't sure if it was okay to spray the hose right on your butt 'cause-" His eyes are slightly too wide and brimming with distress. "I- I think you might be, uhm, bleeding a little bit…"
"Oh. Yeah. That can happen sometimes, even with lube, if the sex gets really rough." Zoro tells him, feeling a strong pang of regret. There's no longer room in him for anger, except at himself, and that's mostly chagrin and disgust for causing the fear in Luffy's anxious gaze. God, what the hell was I THINKING? "It's alright- it's not your fault."
"S-Sorry… I- … I should've asked Zoro if-"
"Oi. Oi oi." He raises a hand to brush his lover's cheek with his knuckles. "No. No, you DID ask. I was the idiot who kept pushing you, kept telling you to fuck me harder." Cupping Luffy's jaw with his palm. "I should've never even THOUGHT about asking you to do me like that when I was so angry." He sighs. "Johnny 'n Yosaku never wanted to mess with the really rough shit. They tried to warn me off it when I got interested- 'n I'm guessing this is why. I- I should've taken what they said a lot more seriously, Sencho. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. I mean, some of it was alright. A lot of it- maybe even most of it?" the rubber man admits hesitantly. "… honestly, there was only ONE thing that was just kinda ehhh…" He's resumed using the detached showerhead to rinse the remaining traces of sweat and suds and cum and urine from Zoro's prone body. "I mean, I dunno how much you liked it, but- well, if you really did 'n you really, really, REALLY want me to do it- the, umm, the pee thing- again sometime, I guess that'd be alright, but…"
The swordsman can feel heat suffusing his face and burning at the tips of his ears. "Oh. Uh… well, it was sort of interesting, but… it's nothing I'm gonna desperately miss if it never happens again. I'm pretty sure once was enough." He barks laughter at the immediate, guilty relief that steals across Luffy's face at this declaration- and tries not to wince as his body protests the sudden jerky movement. "It- it was one of those things I've always been sorta curious about, okay… 'n, well, it SEEMED like a good idea at the time. But I gotta say, I DEFINITELY like being covered in your CUM a hell of a lot more than I like being covered in your PISS."
"Me too. Ah- I'd rather cover Zoro in my cum, I mean." Continuing to carefully sluice him clean. With a hand that's shaking badly enough to make the streams of water jitter as they move into the crease between his groin and thigh.
"Sencho…" Zoro gently pries the handle from his fingers. "Oi, it's okay- or at least I'M okay. I fucked up big-time 'n that part's obviously NOT okay. You must've been worried as hell when I passed out 'n then you realized I was bleeding down there… I should've warned you about what could happen, but I didn't 'cause I was too pissed off to take the time to explain. That was wrong. I'm really sorry I scared you 'n I'm gonna make sure nothing like this ever happens again."
"O-Okay…"
He beckons for Luffy to join him, and the younger man eases free to stretch out alongside him in the narrow gap between his body and the ofuro beside them. Slipping an arm around his middle, Zoro draws him closer, pulling him on top so they're laying together belly-to-belly, and redirects the spray, moving it up and down his back so the warm water's cascading over them both.
Luffy's tense at first, sprawled stiffly against him, but gradually he begins to relax. Body slowly shedding tension until he's snuggled atop Zoro with his nose and cheek nuzzling his collarbone, fingertips toying with the long scar dividing his chest.
"See, there's a right way 'n wrong way to do this shit - the really rough stuff, I mean - 'n I- well, I definitely didn't do it the right way when I skipped the explanation." Zoro kneads his captain's lower back with the hand not holding the showerhead wand, massaging away any remaining rigidity in the muscle on either side of his spine just above his buttocks. "You're supposed to talk about what you wanna do- decide what's okay 'n what's not. You're NOT supposed to just start fucking without figuring that out- OR without a safeword you can use if something starts getting too intense 'n you wanna- or need to- stop."
He pauses, in case Luffy decides to ask for clarification, but his lover remains silent save for a small, soft noise as his fingers tease out a particularly stubborn knot.
"You gotta take care of each other too, after," he continues. Nosing into Luffy's hair, rubbing his back, his side and hip, the upper curves of his ass. Aiming the sprayer at the backs of his thighs, hand following, moving in slow circles, sliding between his buttocks and stroking there too. "Especially if shit gets really wild 'n somebody gets roughed up a lil' too much before they realize they should've used the safeword to call it quits, or maybe they just don't wanna use it 'n they end up passing out like I did… or you get some blood, whether you meant to or not…"
Forehead pressed against his chest, his partner groans, hips shifting languidly as his legs part to grant better access to his perineum. "Zoro- Zoro, that feels really good but- I- I don't think I can-"
"Shhh… don't worry about it. All you gotta do's relax 'n keep feeling good." He guides the showerhead lower, aiming the jets between Luffy's thighs. Kissing his hair, his temple, the whorls of delicate tissue in the shell of his ear.
The water's running off his captain's pelvis and down his own inner thighs, and while he's not sure he could stand the spray hitting him directly in the ass, not yet anyway, at least he can tolerate this. He'll need to rinse off better and soak in the ofuro later if he wants to walk without limping- not to mention sit without leaping into orbit- but for now, this is alright.
He tries not to tease Luffy, knowing he's likely sore as well from going at it so enthusiastically, and switches to rubbing his shoulders when he starts getting a little too excited about the hand caressing his rear. Only to make him hiss when kneading fingers squeeze a bit too firmly on the ring of tooth marks close to his neck. "Damn. Sorry, Sencho- I got you pretty good, didn't I…"
"Mmn, 's'okay. Not like I didn't get Zoro back twice as hard." Luffy touches the love bites in question on his neck and collarbone, tracing the edge of one darkening bruise. "Though I'm NOT sorry." There's an edge of wary challenge in his voice. "… Zoro said I could do whatever I wanted…"
"Yeah, I did say that, didn't I," the swordsman agrees, amused. He tucks a damp lock of dark hair behind his lover's ear, smiling when Luffy leans into his palm with an expression of distinct relief. "Just don't get too used to marking me up, okay? I mean, I've got a rep to uphold." Making it clear that he's joking by pressing a soft kiss to Luffy's mouth, hand cupping his cheek.
The rubber man responds with a content sigh and kisses back, curling both arms around his neck.
"You smell like oranges," Zoro tells him between breaths. "EVERYTHING smells-" Another kiss, slow, lazy. "-like oranges." He exhales laughter. "My ass- mmm- my ass probably smells like oranges."
"I didn't wanna wait." One arm staying hooked around him, the other slipping loose so its owner's hand can find his chest and begin caressing his pectoral. "Zoro didn't wanna wait either!" Squeezing lightly, thumb grazing his nipple then returning to roll it gently, tracing the inner areola surrounding the stiffening bud. "He wanted- he NEEDED me, really bad."
"I did… I needed my captain- 'n he made damn sure I got him." He sighs. "Nami's gonna fuckin' murder us." Then snorts. "Me first, probably. I can't believe I nearly jizzed on her FOOT."
Luffy, leaning in to kiss him again, breaks off laughing. Face thumping down against his collarbone briefly to muffle bright "shishishi"s of amusement. "You MUST'VE been worked up pretty good, though, Zoro- you don't usually squirt like that."
"Like you, you mean," Zoro teases, drawing him back into the kiss that'd been postponed. He shifts the showerhead wand, spraying his captain's back again so the water streams down between their torsos, renewing the slickness of his skin beneath Luffy's kneading hand. "Mmm… getting fucked hard felt so good- and then you started-" A light nip at Luffy's lower lip. "-biting me while fucking me-" Another nip, accompanied by a gentle tug. "… 'n then Nami was there- watching us-"
His flaccid cock gives a halfhearted stir against his partner's groin, and Luffy pushes up on his chest to peer down between their bodies, laughing. "Zoro!"
"Don't worry, I doubt I'm getting it up much more than that, at least not right now anyway," Zoro assures him, the corner of his mouth quirking. "But yeah, when I looked up 'n saw her watching us- watching you fuck me on the floor-" His breath catches. "… shoving your dick all the way inside me, with her right there-"
"I couldn't stop… I didn't WANNA stop," Luffy admits sheepishly, although he's grinning through the flush rising on his cheeks. "You felt too good- all tight 'n hot 'n wet… 'n really, REALLY slippery…"
"Heh, well what'd you expect, after pouring half a bottle of shampoo in my ass." He grimaces. "EXPENSIVE shampoo, knowing Nami."
"… really bubbly expensive shampoo…" Luffy blanches at the look he receives upon mumbling this observation. "Uh…"
"… bubbly? Sencho, were there BUBBLES comin' out my ass while you were fucking me?" Zoro demands, eyes narrowing.
"N-Not, like, FLOATING BUBBLES or anything, but there was some- umm- some suds, yeah. I think most of it's gone now though?"
"… I think I better hose myself out before that shit tries to dry 'n starts itching like I got a nest of ants in there."
"Probably, 'cause it got up my dick a little bit while I was inside you 'n THAT part didn't feel good AT ALL," Luffy complains good-naturedly while squirming backwards to squat on all fours between the swordsman's feet, giving him just enough floor space to sit up without banging his head on the sink. "It kinda burned more than it itched, but it went away when I- uh-" He stalls, face reddening again.
"Pissed a lake in my ass?" Zoro teases. He raises the spraying showerhead to aim it at his captain's face, laughing aloud at the resulting screech of protest and flailing limbs.
His grin stutters into a grimace when he turns the stream on himself, knees pulled up to give his fingers room to work, and Luffy's by his side immediately, dripping face radiating concern. "Does it hurt?"
Zoro flashes him a strained smile but doesn't answer. He's breathing through his nose, his teeth clamped shut.
"Here, lemme-" Luffy wriggles in closer, one arm sliding around his back to support him and the opposite hand stealing up his inner thigh to where it meets his body. "Hold the shower thingy 'n I'll try'n help. My fingers are skinnier."
Relieved, the older pirate props his newly freed hand behind him so he can lean back farther, willing himself to relax. "Just go really slow, okay? I'm pretty sore."
"Uh-huh." A pair of slim fingers probe gingerly at his rear, scissoring his rim open to accept the warm water drumming against it. "That feel okay? Or too much?"
"No, that's- that's good," Zoro sighs, eyelids drifting momentarily shut. He pulls the sprayer closer, resting it between his thighs and letting his weight settle into the arm around him.
Giving his middle a reassuring squeeze, his captain nuzzles his shoulder, his ear, his cheek, offering a welcome distraction. Pressing a kiss to his mouth when he turns his head before drawing back to eye him suspiciously. "You'll tell me if I gotta stop, right?"
"Promise," he mumbles- and gasps as the digits inside him rotate slightly, one fingertip skating across a spot that makes his abdominal muscles jerking and his hole clench.
"Oi, is Zoro-?"
"F-Fine."
"Are you sure, 'cause-"
"Yeah, I'm-" He inhales, inner thighs jumping. "F-Fuck! Sencho- Sencho, you're- ah, y-yeah, right th-there."
"Do I stop or-"
"Keep- keep going." His cock's still mostly limp but there's no mistaking the little spasms of pleasure that jolt through him each time Luffy touches him in the right place. "Oh shit, yeah, yeah, keep doing that- right there." The second fingertip's joined the first, not thrusting or pumping - he doubts he could take that right now, with his rectum aching so badly - but flexing slowly against his prostate. Pressing and moving in little circles right there, until he's tilting his head back and panting.
Luffy's kissing every bit of him within reach, his shoulder, his neck and the underside of his jaw, the corner of his parted lips, crooning nonsense he's getting too overwhelmed to register, although a lot of it sounds like praise. And his name. His name's the only part he understands consistently- his lover murmuring "Zoro, ZORO, Zoro" against his throat, along his jaw, into his ear beside his lightly swaying earrings.
"Oh fuck- oh fuck, Luffy, I'm-" His hand's shaking on the showerhead wand, pulling it tighter to his body and mashing Luffy's hand against his pelvis as the jets squirt water past his rim and they've probably used up most if not all the hot water by now and that'll give Nami something else to get mad about, but oh god oh shit oh shit he doesn't even care, so long as Luffy's fingertips keep kneading like that inside his gaping, flooded hole. "Luffy, I'm gonna- I'm gonna c-cum!"
"But Zoro's not even hard!"
"I don't- oh god- I don't think it MA-!"
This- THIS is what he'd wanted and what'd prompted him to suggest his partner piss inside him. That sensation of being pumped full of so much liquid, it's trickling back out, escaping in small gushes or- under pressure- quick spurts.
He loves having his captain's cum pooled inside him, leaking wet and warm down his thighs, and with his eyes closed and with Luffy holding him so close, mouth now latched onto and sucking the side of his neck just below his ear, it's easy to imagine that it's not shower water running back out of him but cum. So many loads fired inside- so much hot jizz shot into his ass that he's full to the brim and overflowing.
I don't think it MATTERS whether or not I'm hard, he's trying to say, but the moment he reaches "matters" his voice breaks and all that emerges is a helpless cry of "AAAHHH!" because he was right. It doesn't matter.
His body tenses, hugging the digits stroking his prostate and squeezing out a sizable gush of water, while a thin stream of ejaculate squirts from the slit at the tip of his flaccid cock, briefly forming a puddle on his rigid lower belly before dribbling away down his side.
"Oh!" Luffy exclaims in his ear, sounding incredulous and bemused. "You really did cum!" He laughs and kisses Zoro's open, gasping mouth, fingers continuing to massage his shuddering flesh.
Adam's apple bobbing, the swordsman groans as his internal muscles contract again- and again- and again- and then again, his balls drawing up tight against his body and his dick twitching sluggishly. Each spasm clenching his hole as he drips a little more fluid onto his own stomach.
Nuzzling his pierced earlobe and happily sighing encouragement while rubbing his lower back, Luffy's able to coax a few last milky droplets out of him and then he's sagging, shaking all over and breathing hard as he allows the showerhead wand to be plucked from his limp hand and turned off before having his tingling, throbbing body eased to the floor.
"That's A LOT better," his captain declares triumphantly, slumping down on top of him to pet his heaving chest and cum-smeared abdomen. "THAT was what I wanted."
"D-Dunno- what- you're talkin' 'bout, but- you're gonna get- all messy again."
"Doesn't matter 'n besides- it's MY turn to do the care thing for Zoro."
Gazing up at Luffy through heavy-lidded eyes, Zoro debates reminding him that the need for aftercare TECHNICALLY only applies following the kind of rough, role-driven fucking they'd engaged in earlier, NOT following a spontaneous round of relatively gentle fingering, and that right now he's really just initiating some post-sex cuddling- and then decides it's not worth the trouble.
It doesn't matter, and besides, he's enjoying this. His lover's hands on him, moving lazily over the curves of his pectorals, traveling slowly up and down his sides. Fingers caressing the line of his jaw and the thick cord of muscle in his neck and tracing the ridge of his collarbone.
He supposes they'll eventually need to vacate the bathroom and face their crew mates' ire. Nami's already pissed off for various reasons and the cook will be pissed off because she's pissed off, but he's got a feeling Chopper's going to be angry as well, if not downright furious. Not only because they've neglected having their wounds treated for so long in favor of vigorous sex in the most unsanitary spot on the ship, but also because he hadn't stopped Luffy from using what the doctor will almost certainly refer to as something like "an unapproved lubricant."
Not that he'd been paying enough attention to give the label on the bottle more than a cursory glance anyway, but Zoro hadn't exactly been in the right frame of mind to CARE. He'd just wanted his captain inside him and battering him against the nearest flat surface, and while he knows better and he'd known better then too, if Luffy hadn't actually thought to grab the damn stuff in the first place-
Shit, I probably would've let him fuck me DRY- or at least let him try. 'N I thought I was sore NOW-
"Mnn?" Luffy draws back from his mouth to study his face. "You okay?"
"I'm good," Zoro assures him, arms closing around his waist to pull him close again. "Get back here- I didn't say you could stop."
"Oi, I'M the captain. I'M in charge, so I'M the one who says when we're done, shishi…"
"Oho, okay then- well in THAT case- I guess that means you're ready to get dressed 'n go tell Nami you commandeered her shampoo 'cause you're the captain," he teases, lacing his fingers behind Luffy's back. "… 'n since she's been so generous about handing it over, you won't throw her in the brig for interrupting you."
"Oi oi oi, yeah right, Zoro- I'd DIE." Then, frowning slightly. "Do we even HAVE a brig?"
"Not really. 'Though we should," Zoro mutters. "There oughta be somewhere we can throw that woman if she starts causing trouble."
Luffy blinks, evidently taking a moment to catch up with the change in subject, but then he laughs as it dawns on him that his partner doesn't mean Nami but rather their newest crew mate, and settles down with his arms folded on Zoro's chest and his chin resting on them. "Aww, nah- Robin's okay!"
"She wasn't just Baroque Works' second-in-command and Crocodile's lieutenant and OUR ENEMY," the swordsman complains for what feels like the hundredth time. "She was an ASSASSIN. She actually ADMITTED she was an assassin too, like who the fuck even does that?"
"Uh-huh. 'N Zoro was a bounty hunter. The PIRATE HUNTER." Luffy's suddenly got that alarming mischievous look in his eyes, his mouth curving into a smirk as he wiggles demonstratively in the muscular arms clasping him. "Did you have sex with the other pirates you caught too?" Smirk widening into a leering grin. "Maybe Zoro just hasn't turned ME in yet 'cause he likes my dick too mu-" He yelps laughter, body arching, as Zoro gives him a good hard smack across the buttocks.
"Oi, that's a crock of shit 'n you know it. Besides, you know I DON'T LIKE your dick," Zoro growls, aiming a playful bite at his nose. "I LOVE your dick- AND your ass-" Giving both cheeks of the latter a firm squeeze just for the satisfaction of hearing his captain's breathless squeak of surprise. "-AND the rest of you too, you idiot. They couldn't raise your bounty high enough to make me wanna turn you in."
Luffy's continuing to laugh, which is good, but he's also gone spectacularly red in the face, which- while it's undeniably entertaining- is making Zoro's heart go absolutely berserk in his chest. He's not sure if the dramatic color's a response to their risquè banter or to getting swatted and groped OR if his nonchalant quip about loving ALL of his partner hasn't come off quite as casually as he intended.
Goddamn it… why'd I even say that- why didn't I just leave it alone, let it stay a dick joke? If he starts asking me questions- if he wants to know how I feel about him or he straight-up asks me if I love him, like LOVE-him-love-him, I don't know what the hell I'm gonna say. Nami was right; it's definitely about more than sex, but- is this serious? REALLY serious? Or just some stupid crush 'cause I never had anybody I could call my boyfriend before?
Johnny and Yosaku have taught him a great deal about his own anatomy and how his body- and his partner's body or, in their case, partners' BODIES- function during various kinds of sex, but neither of them have ever been anything more than fuck buddies to him- or he to them. They've always enjoyed making each other feel good when they've got the opportunity, sure, but it's never really been about anything beyond pure, uncomplicated sex. No strings, no commitments. Friends with benefits.
THIS is different. LUFFY is different.
There's still sex of course, loads of sex, and it's GREAT sex, but there's also a lot of post-sex cuddling, and that's something he never experienced before climbing- okay okay, TUMBLING- into bed with his captain. Because whenever he'd screwed around with Johnny and Yosaku, although there'd been plenty of casual contact while the three of them lay sprawled together in a sweaty, cum-smeared heap for a few minutes after exhausting themselves, they'd generally treated each other's bodies as pieces of comfortable furniture once they were finished fucking. It'd never been long before they'd been on their feet, tossing one another the articles of clothing they'd scattered when the urge struck them.
But after sex with Luffy, there's spooning and lingering caresses and lazy, affectionate kisses, and even though it'd secretly unnerved Zoro a bit in the beginning, now he looks forward to it. Now he's disappointed when they DON'T have an hour to lounge around curled in one another's arms while they talk or doze or just lay there in content silence with their fingers lightly exploring each other's warm skin, making a game of finding the faintest, nearly invisible scars that can be discerned by touch alone unless under direct sunlight.
Shit, I'd fight an entire Marine fleet with one arm tied behind my back for twenty-four hours- for ONE DAY- of doing nothing but laying around in a real bed with him. Like that couple of hours in Arabasta, only with no interruptions, nobody walking in, no last minute dashes out the back door 'cause somebody's after the crew. Just me 'n him 'n a huge thing of lube 'n maybe some of those toys Johnny used to talk about getting his hands on. Spend the whole damn day fucking 'til we get too tired to keep going 'n fall asleep cuddling, then wake up 'n do it all over again… 'n again… 'n again…
Zoro supposes there's also other things they could do together given the opportunity- things that don't involve ripping off each other's clothing- but-
Sex is easy. Sex is familiar and relatively straightforward and doesn't confuse or frighten the hell out of him like the prospect of shit like, oh, asking Luffy out to dinner. Because asking his partner to dinner would be actively COURTING him, the sort of thing the cook THINKS he's doing when he gets all stupid and noodly making eyes at every woman in sight. That's not courting, it's flirting.
Courting is- is the kind of shit you do when you don't just wanna fuck somebody or get fucked by 'em, courting's what you do when you wanna MARRY-
He can't do this. He can't let his mind keep wandering in this direction with his captain's flushed, laughing face inches away or he's going to end up doing more than accidentally being a little too transparent about his feelings. He's going to end up blurting "I THINK I LOVE YOU!" in Luffy's face, probably scare him half to death, and almost certainly fuck up whatever good thing he's found here.
Change the subject, NOW.
"ANYWAY," he mock-growls, "-this isn't about me, it's about HER, 'n the point is: I don't trust her."
Luffy's laughter dies away, although there's still the hint of a smile hanging around his lips when he counters with, "But Zoro trusts me, right."
Zoro bites back the impulse to return fire with a snort and "… the fuck do YOU THINK" because despite the inflection that implies this is a rhetorical question, there's the tiniest hint of trepidation in his lover's eyes, and he understands immediately what's being asked.
Does Zoro STILL trust me? After I hurt him, not just during sex but before that- when I made him choose between disobeying my orders or standing aside watching while I got hurt…
"Yeah," he says softly, bringing his right hand out from behind Luffy's back to cup his cheek and slowly run his thumb along the small scar beneath his eye. "Yeah, I do. I trust you."
Smile broadening, genuine now, the rubber man nuzzles against his palm while continuing to hold his gaze. "And I trust Robin. She's a good person."
"You know she's killed people."
"Uh-huh. 'N so's Zoro."
"… point taken." The swordsman studies him silently for a second or two before sighing in resignation. "Okay, Sencho. I'll trust your judgment on this 'n try to play nice. But-" he cautions as Luffy's eyes light up. "That doesn't mean I won't keep a damn close eye on her."
"I know you're gonna. You always watch out for the crew 'n make sure everybody stays safe." Leaning forward to briefly brush lips with him. "Just don't forget Robin's part of the crew now too, okay?"
Zoro starts to make a noncommittal noise deep in his chest, only to segue into a throaty "mmn" when his lover kisses him again, mouthing insistently at his lips until he parts them to admit the tongue seeking entrance between them. Feeling Luffy's hands wriggle out from where they're trapped between their bodies to reach up and slide through his hair, toying with the green spikes as they move back to cup his skull and draw him forward, deepening the kiss.
He's allowing his own tongue to be coaxed into a sinuous, impassioned tangle of moist flesh, his thumb stroking back and forth over the small line of raised scar tissue below his captain's eye, when there's a hesitant, stuttering knock high on the bathroom door beside them.
Luffy gives a short groan of frustration against his mouth and increases his efforts, determined to ignore the interruption as long as possible, and Zoro's inclined to do the same in hopes whoever's out there will go away, but then Usopp speaks up from the storage room beyond, voice tremulous.
"O-Oi, Luffy? Z-Zoro? Listen, I'm really, REALLY sorry but Chopper keeps asking for you guys 'n Nami's gotta use the bathroom 'n Sanji says he's gonna kick down the door if you don't let her in soon 'n everybody's just getting really mad 'n I DON'T WANNA DIE."
The fingers rubbing the short bristles at the nap of Zoro's neck TWITCH, and Luffy makes another grumbling, fretful noise before pulling back to aim a petulant scowl at the closed door with its dangling curtain rod.
Trying not to chuckle at his partner's expression, Zoro clears his throat. "Tell 'em we'll be out in a minute or two, alright? We just gotta finish washing up 'n throw some clothes on."
"O-Okay…" A pause. "Just… try'n make it quick… please?" There's the faintest sound of footsteps retreating, then silence.
"I can't believe he was more afraid of them being pissed off than he was interrupting us," the swordsman snorts. "Think we should be offended?"
"It's your ass he wants to oogle," Luffy mutters, sounding uncharacteristically bitter. "Maybe he thought he could get a peek if the window wasn't too steamed up…"
Zoro blinks. That's certainly new. Is he JEALOUS?
If so, it's something they probably ought to discuss. Not now, because they've run out of time, but he'll keep it in mind for later, when they get a better opportunity to speak without interruptions.
"Well, he can oogle it all he wants, but my ass is officially done for the day," he tells his captain, sealing the statement with a kiss. "-'cause SOME rubbery bastard fucked me senseless 'n made me cum my damn brains out." He gently bumps their foreheads together, dropping his voice to a conspiratorial stage whisper. "Don't tell my boyfriend, though. He's the guy who's gonna be the Pirate King 'n he doesn't like to share, so he'll kick your ass if he finds out you've been slipping it to me without asking him first…"
As he hoped, Luffy's irritation fades into exasperated amusement as he squirms upright. "Zorrro, you dumbass. That's ME. I'M the one who's gonna be the Pirate King, 'n I'M your boyfriend!"
"Huh. Guess that means you gotta kick your own ass, the-" He breaks off laughing and trying to dodge the hands slapping at his chest and shoulders, a futile effort since Luffy's perched on his midsection. "Oi oi!" Capturing one flailing appendage, he brings it to his mouth and brushes his lips lightly along the knuckles. Grinning and feeling his heart give a hopping, lurching skip when a little pink begins creeping back into Luffy's cheeks at the gesture. "C'mon, Sencho, let's finish up here, go apologize to Nami 'n let Chopper wrap us head-to-toe in bandages before either one of them or the cook decides to throw our sniper overboard."