Hey, guess what everyone! This month marks one year since I first discovered FanFiction dot net! I think this calls for some celebration — and a new chapter. Fire that party cannon!
Disclaimer: Nothing. Zilch. Noodle.
Chapter 17: The Letters
It was a rather familiar scene. The elevator's passenger tapped her foot impatiently as it traveled to the desired floor.
"Next time I think I'll take the stairs," Pauline complained, as if it would help.
The elevator finally slowed and stopped at Pauline's floor. She stepped out, thankful that the elevator didn't stop at a lower floor. Then she quickly made her way to her door.
Pauline rushed into her apartment and tore open any cabinets, closets, and drawers she could find, trying desperately to remember where she kept Mario's letters.
Eventually, her path of destruction found her bedroom. She looked around her room. She spotted her closet. The door was flung open, red dresses and shoes flew out.
Nothing.
"That doesn't make any sense!" Pauline groaned, sitting down. "I've looked everywhere else."
Then she looked at what she was sitting on. Her bed. Pauline face-palmed. The letters were in boxes under her bed.
Pauline didn't waste a second in getting down and pulling box after box out from under the bed. She tore the lid off one and pulled several letters out. Realization suddenly hit her when she saw the almost randomized dates.
"Uh-oh," she said. "Where are the ones I'm looking for?"
She looked around and groaned. She realized she was going have to go through each letter until she found one that had information on the Koopalings.
"Might as well get started," she murmured, and she started reading the first one she had. She raised an eyebrow upon discovering it was the first letter Mario had sent her.
DEAR PAULINE,
IT'S-A ME, MARIO! HA-HA. LUIGI SUGGESTED I WRITE TO SOMEONE BACK HOME AND TELL THEM THAT THE MOVE WENT SMOOTHLY. AND I THOUGHT OF YOU. THAT'S NOT WEIRD, IS IT? IT STILL SEEMS LIKE WE ONLY JUST BROKE UP, SO FEEL FREE TO TRASH THIS LETTER.
ANYWAY, HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM? WELL, THAT'S WHERE WE ARE. WE'RE ACTUALLY RIGHT OUTSIDE THE CAPITAL! CRAZY, HUH? LUIGI WANTS TO MEET THE PRINCESS, BUT I DON'T THINK WE'D EVEN HAVE A CHANCE AT GETTING INTO THE CASTLE. I DON'T DARE TELL HIM THAT, THOUGH. LET THE GUY DREAM, RIGHT?
I SHOULD PROBABLY WRAP THIS UP; LUIGI STILL NEEDS HELP WITH UNPACKING.
SINCERELY, MARIO MARIO
Pauline smiled as she remembered how she had decided to surprise Mario and write back. Since then they had been dedicated pen pals.
She read the next letter. She hummed with interest at what it was.
PAULINE,
CRAZY. THERE'S NO OTHER WORD TO DESCRIBE TODAY. IT HAS BEEN COMPLETELY CRAZY.
REMEMBER HOW CRANKY KONG KIDNAPPED YOU ALL THOSE YEARS AGO? WELL WE HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN HERE A WEEK, AND THE PRINCESS OF THIS PLACE GOT KIDNAPPED BY SOME "KING BOWSER KOOPA" FROM DARK LAND. AND YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHO THE PRINCESS IS! IT'S MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND, PEACH TOADSTOOL! NATURALLY, LUIGI AND I WENT TO RESCUE HER, JUST BECAUSE WE THOUGHT IT'D BE AS EASY AS YOU AND CRANKY KONG. UH… NO OFFENSE.
ANYWAY, BY THE STARS, WERE WE WRONG! FIRST OF ALL, WE HAD TO—
Pauline tossed the letter aside when she realized it wouldn't give her what she needed and grabbed another.
HEY PAULINE!
THE GANG IS FINALLY GOING ON TOADSWORTH'S VACATION ON THE MSS SEASTAR. YOU REALLY SHOULD HAVE RECONSIDERED GOING. I CAN JUST TELL IT'S GOING TO BE A BLAST!
AND I THINK MY PAL YOSHI SCORED A GIRLFRIEND WITH THAT BOWED DINOSAUR FROM THE TENNIS MATCH. HER NAME IS—
Next letter.
HI PAULINE,
YET ANOTHER KIDNAPPING. THIS TIME IT WAS A FRIEND OF PEACH'S, THOUGH. PRINCESS DAISY OF SARASALAND. FOR SOME REASON, I THOUGHT OF LUIGI WHEN I SAW HER. ANY IDEAS WHY?
ANYWAY, APPARANTLY MY OLD RIVAL WARIO HIRED—
Next.
DEAR PAULINE,
LUIGI SAVED MY HIDE TODAY. THAT SHOULD SHUT EVERYONE UP ABOUT HIM BEING A COWARD! EVEN SO, I REALLY WISH I'D SHOW MY APPRECIATION FOR HIM MORE OFTEN. I THINK HE'S STARTING TO—
Next.
HI PAULINE,
SO.
APPARENTLY, THE BIG SCARY KING OF THE KOOPAS IS A DAD.
"Bingo!" Pauline said out loud.
DON'T ASK WHO THE MOTHER IS, I DON'T KNOW, AND BOWSER NEARLY BRAINED LUIGI FOR ASKING. THANK THE STARS I GOT TO HIM IN TIME.
ANYWAY, EIGHT KIDS IN ALL, THOUGH WE ONLY FOUGHT THE SEVEN OLDEST ONES.
FIRST. WE HAD TO FIGHT THE YOUNGEST. WELL, SECOND YOUNGEST. THE YOUNGEST ISN'T EVEN A YEAR OLD YET, ACCORDING TO THE KOOPALINGS. THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
WHERE WAS I? OH RIGHT. SECOND YOUNGEST. HE SAID HIS NAME IS LARRY KOOPA. AT FIRST GLANCE, THE KID LOOKS LIKE A CUTE TODDLER WITH A STYLISH BLUE MOHAWK. BUT THAT LITTLE SCAMP WAS TRICKY. HE TOOK ALL OUR MONEY! THAT WAS ANNOYING.
AFTER THAT LITTLE RASCAL, WE ENDED UP FIGHTING A BIG RASCAL. MORTON KOOPA JR. HE'S THE THIRD YOUNGEST, BUT THE SECOND BIGGEST! NOT TO MENTION HE LOOKS PRETTY WEIRD. HE'S BLACK AND WHITE! ALSO, HE NEVER SHUTS UP. WE HAD TO RESORT TO USING EARPLUGS TO FIGHT. I'M NOT KIDDING. HE'S ALSO A LITTLE TOO EDUCATED. UGH… I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO UN-HEAR SOME OF THE STUFF HE SAID.
AFTER THAT CHATTERBOX, WE CAME ACROSS BOWSER'S BRAT OF A DAUGHTER. FIGURES. SHE INTRODUCED HERSELF AS WENDY O. KOOPA, BUT SHE WOULDN'T TELL US WHAT THE O STANDS FOR. SHE WAS PRETTY MUCH YOUR AVERAGE GIRLY GIRL; SERIOUSLY, ALMOST EVERYTHING SHE HAD WAS PINK. BUT THE STARS KNOW SHE KNOWS HOW TO FIGHT.
THEN WE CAME TO THE MIDDLE CHILD. HE ALSO HAS A MOHAWK, BUT IT'S RAINBOW! HE ALSO HAS THICK GLASSES. SAID HIS NAME IS IGGY KOOPA. THE GUY IS A DANG GENIUS, SO WE HAD A HARD TIME WITH HIM. BUT SINCE HE'S STILL A KID, HIS MIND ISN'T FULLY DEVELOPED. WE USED THAT AGAINST HIM.
THE THIRD OLDEST. ROY KOOPA. THE GUY IS HUGE! HE ALSO HAS SOME PRETTY KILLER SHADES. BUT HE ALSO HAS A PURPLE SHELL AND PINK HEAD! HE BACKED HIMSELF UP BY SAYING TOUGH GUYS WEAR PINK. I GUESS THAT'S HIS PHILOSOPHY. WHATEVER. HE'S ALSO A PRETTY BIG BULLY. AND HE'S STRONG ENOUGH TO BACK UP HIS THREATS. WE EVENTUALLY HAD TO BRING A WALL DOWN ON HIM. NOT FUN.
LEMMY KOOPA, THE SECOND OLDEST, WAS NOTHING WE EXPECTED. WHILE ROY IS THE BIGGEST, LEMMY IS THE SMALLEST. LIKE IGGY, HE ALSO HAS A RAINBOW MOHAWK. ALTHOUGH INSTEAD OF AURORA-ISH, LIKE IGGY'S, HIS HAS SOLID, VERTICAL STRIPES. AND THERE'S ONLY PRIMARY COLORS. HIS EYES ARE MISALIGNED. AND HE CAN'T RUN. INSTEAD OF THAT, HE GETS EVERYWHERE BY RIDING ON TOP OF A BIG CIRCUS BALL. THE LITTLE GUY IS REALLY HAPPY. ALL THE TIME. 24/7. I'M TRYING TO CONVINCE LUIGI. FOR SOME ODD REASON, LUIGI SAYS LEMMY HAD SADNESS IN HIS EYES. HOW WOULD LUIGI EVEN KNOW SOMETHING LIKE THAT? OR UNDERSTAND IT?
ANYWAY, AFTER WE BEAT LEMMY, WE CAME TO THE OLDEST. HE HAS PRETTY STYLISH HAIR. HIS NAME IS — GET THIS — LUDWIG VON KOOPA. YOU THINK THAT'S GOOD? HE ALSO WRITES HIS OWN "KOOPA SYMPHONIES". PRICELESS! HE MADE A PRETTY BIG RANT ABOUT THE PRONUNCIATION AND SPELLING OF HIS NAME. JUST FOR FUN I SAID IT LIKE "WIG" INSTEAD OF "VIG". THAT TICKED HIM OFF. IT WAS FUNNY AT FIRST. BIG MISTAKE ON MY PART. APPARENTLY LUDWIG HAS A REPUTATION AS BEING THE SMARTEST AND CRUELEST OF THE KOOPALINGS. AND HE'S TRAINING IN MAGIC. HE'S PRETTY SKILLED. I STILL HURT IN PLACES I'D RATHER NOT TALK ABOUT.
ANYWAY, THAT'S THE KOOPALINGS, MINUS THE BABY BROTHER. THEY'RE ALL PRETTY PROTECTIVE OF HIM. NOBODY WOULD REVEAL ANYTHING ABOUT HIM EXCEPT THAT HE WAS TOO YOUNG TO FIGHT. I GUESS IT'S NICE THAT THEY WANT TO PROTECT HIM, BUT IT SEEMS KIND OF EXCESSIVE. ALMOST POSSESSIVE. LUIGI THREATENED TO FORCE-FEED ME BAD SPAGHETTI SAUCE IF I EVER GOT LIKE THAT. I WONDER WHY THEY'RE LIKE THAT?
ANYWAY, PEACH MANAGED TO FIND SOME PHOTOS OF THE KOOPALINGS, AND I PAPERCLIPPED THAM TO THIS LETTER.
TILL NEXT TIME! – MARIO
Pauline found the photos still clipped to the letter. She flipped through them, memorizing their faces, especially the two at Big Ape Hospital now.
Wendy O. Koopa and Ludwig von Koopa, she reminded herself. She repeated that in her head and headed for the door, not even bothering to tidy up. She had a hospital to get to.
She kept her earlier promise and forewent the elevator in favor of the stairs. She went down them several steps at a time. When she reached the bottom, she quickly exited the building.
As she hurried down the streets, she calculated the quickest on-foot route to the hospital. She didn't even think twice as she slipped in and out of alleyways and other shortcuts. In about half the time it took for her to take the trip home, she found herself at the hospital, her dress even more torn at the hem now than it was earlier. Pauline didn't care about that at the moment though.
Just as she entered the hospital, her cell phone rang.
Brownie points to anyone who can guess which games are referenced in each of the letters in this chapter, aside from the first letter.
Brownie points also to anyone who warns me if they see you-know-who.