Aizen Sosuke stood atop a hill overlooking Soul Society. Behind him were arrayed three vasto lorde, the Espada Grimmjow Jaguerjaques, an army of arrancar and other Hollows, and… wasn't there someone else?
Oh, right. Tosen. Wouldn't want to forget him. Real important to the war effort, that one.
Just about to give the order to attack, he was suddenly interrupted by a polite cough. Turning his head, Aizen was surprised to see Lord Byakuya Kuchiki accompanied by an aged manservant.
"What's this, Captain Kuchiki?" the revolutionary called out merrily. "Have you come to offer terms for your surrender?"
Byakuya didn't even deign to look at him. Instead the old man stepped forward and bowed humbly. "Forgive this intrusion," he said. "His Eminence is here to enlist the aid of your hired Hollow enforcers during the coming conflict. For their services, you shall be amply compensated."
Aizen frowned. "Excuse me?"
"Yes." The old man produced a checkbook and bent over so Byakuya could use his back as a writing desk. Lord Kuchiki began to scribble out a sum while the old manservant continued. "To wit, we wish for you to eliminate a… person of low character who has transgressed against the good name of our family. This should be done without any indication that His Lordship was involved, for the sake of the family's good name."
This made Sosuke grin. "Aiming to bump off Ichigo Kurosaki before he can do the deed with your sister, eh, Byakuya?"
The Kuchiki Lord frowned more severely but did not respond. He merely tore off the check and handed it to his underling, who slipped over and held it out for Aizen's inspection. The Lord of Hollows took it without interest. "Captain Kuchiki, I don't know what this farce portends, but do you seriously believe…" He glanced over the check. "That you… I mean, I…"
Sosuke fell silent. He stared at the slip of paper for several seconds. Curious, the Espada clustered at his back to get a better view. Upon seeing the amount made out, Tia Halibel gave a low, appreciative whistle. "That's a lot o' cheddar." She then turned to Byakuya. "Okay, I'm in."
Aizen snapped out of his trance. "WHAT?!"
Before he could react, she slithered over to stand behind Byakuya. Aizen felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked over to see Grimmjow smirking at him. "Just so you know," the Sexta Espada sneered, "I'm not in it for the money. I'm just doing it to piss you off!" He then went to join the Tercera. Stunned, Sosuke could only stare.
"Hmph!" Barragan declared. "Finally, someone appreciative of Our worth!" And he too defected.
When Coyote Stark went shambling by with hands in his pockets, Aizen reached out and grabbed him by the arm. "What the hell, Stark?!" he roared. "You don't care about money, you're batshit insane!"
The Primera threw him a scornful look. "Dude, nobody's that insane."
Moments later his most powerful fighters had all gone over to the other side. Disbelieving, the King of Hueco Mundo gaped at his rebellious followers. "This can't be!" he protested. "I worked for centuries to earn their fearful respect, bending the armies of Hueco Mundo to my will through masterful planning and demonstrations of strength in order to become their ruler!" He swung up a trembling finger and leveled it at Byakuya. "You can't just… BUY evil!"
The Kuchiki Lord spared him the briefest disdainful flick of his eyes. "I believe I just did."
And with that, they all strolled off.
Watching them go, Aizen caught sight of Kaname Tosen slinking shame-facedly after the group. "Et tu, Tosen?" he asked, aggrieved.
The blind swordsman shrank in on himself. "Sorry, but… I'm into the sex hotlines for a seriously huge amount, they're threatening to break my legs, I just can't help myself, so… bye."
Thus Aizen stood alone.
Moments later, Ichigo Kurosaki looked up from his meal as a shadow fell over him. "Oh, hey guys, what's OH MY GOD!"
The Hollows fell on him. Meanwhile, Byakuya distracted his sister Rukia with several fluffy rabbits so she needn't witness the ensuing slaughter.
"Don't worry, ex-Commander-General Yamamoto," Isane Kotetsu declared warmly. "Though you may have lost your shinigami powers in the Autumn War, we here at the Fourth Division will take the best possible care of you!"
She smiled at the shriveled invalid where he lay on a hospital bed hooked up to tubes and health monitors. Yamamoto managed a faint gurgle, but nothing more. He was too weak to even speak.
"Well, then." Isane turned away. "Your first assigned caregivers are two people you should be thrilled to see again." A small, angry frown tugged at her lips. "Assuming they can manage to look at a clock anytime soon!" Muttering about schedules and whatnot, she left the room.
Yamamoto lay in the otherwise empty hospital ward. Time passed. A clock on the wall ticked. A bird sang outside the window. And then…
The doors swung open wide, and in strode Jushiro Ukitake and Kyoraku Shunsui. They were both laughing uproariously, patting each other on the back and swilling from huge saké jugs.
"I say, Shunsui!" Jushiro laughed. "It's good to be alive, isn't it? HA-HA-HAH!"
"It certainly is!" his old comrade concurred, taking a hearty chug. "In fact, now that we're no longer captains and you're no longer sick, us two eligible bachelors can do pretty much anything we want! HA-HA-HAH!"
"You said it!" They crossed to the bed, where Yamamoto observed their approach with a touch of trepidation. There was something just a little disconcerting about how animated they seemed. "In fact, we can even do… this!"
So saying, he grabbed Yamamoto by the beard, yanked him upright and punched him right in the face.
The former warlord flopped back onto his pillow agog, only to be dragged out of bed by Shunsui and held upright by the arms. "That's right!" the pink-clad god of wine declared merrily. "And considering how often a certain someone forced you to watch him brutally abuse a helpless woman for eons, I'd say you've got a few more things to get off your chest! HA-HA-HAH!"
"You said it, old chum!" Ukitake crossed over to stand in front of them, still wearing that cherubic, red-cheeked grin. "Something like… this!" And he delivered a sock to Yamamoto's gut, causing the old man to double over wheezing.
"And this!" A right cross snapped his bald scarred head to one side.
"An-n-n-n-nd… this!" A matching left followed.
"And this! And this! And THIS! Boy, howdy, Shunsui!" the white-haired ex-captain declared as he proceeded to pummel the ever-loving shit out of his former drill-sergeant overlord. "It certainly is good to be alive, isn't it?! HA-HA-HAH!"
"It certainly is! HA-HA-HAH!"
"HA-HA-HAH!"
Rukia drifted blearily awake. It took her only a second to realize she was gagged and tied to a chair. Not only that, she seemed to be wearing only white silk lingerie. Which hadn't been the case before. What the hell…?
As if in answer, Gin Ichimaru crossed to stand in front of her, wearing an orange and green sweater, jeans, and a creepy smirk. He still didn't bother opening his eyes. "Welcome to my… secluded hunting cabin, Rukia-chan!"
Unable to speak, she settled for glaring at him in a way that would have caused the 8th level of Hell to freeze over.
"There's no point screamin' for help," he assured her with a hiss, even though the gag meant that was practically impossible. "We're all alone here in my… secluded hunting cabin!" He swept out an arm. "D'ya like the décor?"
She spared a brief glance around. Stone fireplace, zebra-skin rug, furniture made out of antlers and animal bones… yup, this is pretty much what I expected Gin's house would look like. There were even stuffed heads mounted on the wall. Deer, antelope, gazelle, panda, Aizen, koala bear, orangut–
Her eyes snapped over to the head two spaces back, and Rukia let out a muffled scream.
Gin looked up from where he was pouring two brandies from a decanter. "Somethin' wrong, Rukia-chan?" he grinned, then seemed to notice what she was looking at. "Oh, that! I see ya spotted the most eye-catching feature of my… secluded hunting cabin!"
The deranged misfit then strolled over swirling his drink until he stood below the severed head of Aizen Sosuke. His former master's mouth was open in a scream, eyes bulging out and body conspicuously absent. The fearsome Lord of Hueco Mundo had been reduced to a fixture hanging on a wall. Gin eyed the grisly decoration keenly.
"Yep, it was quite a bother bringin' that one down, but ultimately… worth the wait! Tosen raised some objections, 'course, but I… got my point across, you might say." A bloodthirsty smile lit up his whole face. "You'll see him if ya gotta use the facilities. He's my new toilet paper holder!"
Rukia began hopping up and down in the chair screaming bloody murder, the wooden legs beating out a staccato tattoo on the floor. In response Gin laid a hand to his cheek. "Goodness, Rukia-chan! Are ya feelin' alright? Is my… secluded hunting cabin too much to bear?! Aizen certainly don't think so! Here, ask him yourself!"
He reached up and yanked the loathsome ornament off the wall, proceeding to work the dead jaws up and down like a puppet. "Looka me! I'm Aizen Shoshuke! I'm sho shmart and powerful, nobody'sh better'n me! I could beat you all with both dicksh tied behind m'back!"
Gin then slowly advanced on Rukia, holding the severed head out before him. "Kneel before my power, lowly worm! Kish me, Rukia! KISH MEEEEE!"
Suddenly there came a terrific banging on the front door. "RUKIA!" Ichigo's voice yelled. "ARE YOU IN THERE?! SAY SOMETHING! ME, RENJI, HANATARO, KON, YUMICHIKA, AND YOUR BROTHER BYAKUYA ARE HERE TO RESCUE YOU!"
Rukia looked down at her state of undress, then blew out an exasperated sigh through her nose that made her little lock of hair shake. Fuck my life, she thought morosely…
"Shoot!" Ichimaru whipped around. "Seems they've found my… secluded hunting cabin!" He looked back at Rukia with a smile. "Guess that's all for now, Rukia-chan! Nin-nin!" With that, Gin flung a smoke bomb at the floor, and when the cloud cover cleared, he had disappeared.
The door burst open, and her rescuers came pouring through, only to freeze upon catching sight of her bound situation. Their faces turned bright red, all except for Byakuya, who resolutely averted his gaze to inspect the secluded hunting cabin's fixtures, in doing so catching sight of the avant-garde bust of Aizen Sosuke lying on the floor.
"I have three myself," he declared, and went to free his sister.
"I cannot believe you two!" Isane Kotetsu declared, stamping her foot angrily. "Beating up on a helpless old man! You ought to be ashamed!"
"HA-HA-HAH!" Before her Kyoraku and Ukitake emitted identical lusty bellows, still swigging down liquor with arms draped around each other's shoulders and making passes at passing nurses.
"Since you clearly can't be relied upon to provide a suitable level of care," she huffed, grabbing both men by the collar and marching them from the room, "I am leaving this matter in the hands of someone truly dependable!" Shoving them through, she hesitated on the doorframe and looked back. "I've administered a sedative so the patient can get some rest. Please take good care of him!" And she swept out, flicking off the lights and slamming the screen shut behind her.
Left in the darkened room, Yamamoto stared after her. Then slowly, fearfully, he rotated his eyes around.
There, sitting in a chair against the back wall, was Nemu Kurotsuchi.
She stared back.
A minute passed. In that time, Nemu did not move a muscle, and the old man began to feel drowsy. He didn't want to sleep, not with that impassive ghoul watching him. But he just felt so… tired…
His eyelids drifted shut.
Sc-r-r-rape!
He came awake with a start. What was that?! Yamamoto peered frantically all around. There was no one else in the room besides Nemu, who remained in the same spot as before sitting in her chair. After a while, he felt the drug forcing him to fall asleep once more.
As consciousness faded, a thought occurred to him. Wait a minute… wasn't her chair up against the wall…?
He slept.
Sc-r-r-rape!
Yamamoto's eyes flew open. Once more Nemu sat unmoving. But now, judging by the moonlight pouring through the open veranda, he could tell she had moved her seat closer to him. She was halfway across the room! Her deadpan face with its cold, expressionless features sent a chill through his wracked and weary frame. Desperately Yamamoto strove to find the emergency button to call for help, but before he… could…
Sc-r-r-rape!
Sucking in a gasp, Yamamoto heard the heart monitor beside him sending out a frantic beeping. Nemu remained in the exact same pose as before, but now only a few yards separated them. Panicked, he patted feebly along the covers until he found the button and pressed it. No, wait, that one's for raising the bed! And I'm so… sleepy…
Sc-r-r-rape!
Heaving, terrified breaths. Sweat sticking the hospital gown to his skin. He fought to remain awake in time… for…
Sc-r-r-rape!
Blank, lifeless eyes now watched him from just a few feet away. But at last he found the emergency call button! Sobbing with gratitude, he sought… to… prrrress…
Sc-r-r-rape!
When Yamamoto awoke, it was to find Nemu Kurotsuchi leaning over him. An ice cream scoop gleamed in her hand.
"Research," she breathed softly, and bent towards his face.
He was too weak to even scream.
"Waitress!" Yumichika Ayasegawa called. "Another round for our dear, good friend Ichigo Kurosaki!"
The person in question glanced nervously around the bar. Despite insisting he wasn't old enough to drink, he somehow found himself stuffed in a corner booth of this adult-age establishment in the outskirts of the Rukongai. With him were Hanataro Yamada, Renji Abarai, and Yumichika Ayasegawa. The shinigami had all been drinking since they got in. Renji and Yamada hadn't said a word in half an hour. But what really unnerved him was the way they all kept… looking at him.
Yumichika, of course, made up for his comrades' distressing silence by talking a mile a minute. "Yes, indeed, Master Kurosaki!" he pronounced gaily. "We certainly are glad to have you on our side, fighting the good fight!" The eerily attractive fighter from the Eleventh Division refilled his partner's glasses, which they drank, never taking their eyes off Ichigo as they did. He was starting to sweat from this much undivided attention.
"Look," he stood up. "I appreciate you inviting me out, but it's a school night, so maybe–"
"Nonsense!" Yumichika declared, seizing his shoulder in a surprisingly strong grip and forcing the teen back down. Ichigo sat in the middle of the booth, with the other three men arrayed around him. "There's much merriment to be had! And who better to share it with than our good friend Ichigo Kurosaki!"
"Actually, I hardly know any of you," he protested. Come to think of it, why am I with these guys?
"Die, pig…"
Ichigo gave a start. He looked over at Yamada. "Wha… what did you just say?"
"I said drink up!" Yumichika trilled gaily. Meanwhile, the little bug-eyed medic sat with head hunched down, eyes narrowed in unblinking focus on Ichigo. Hanataro lifted his drink and sipped quietly, the ice cubes clinking together faintly in his glass. "All is well with the world, after all! Good wine, good friends, life is truly beautiful!"
"Killyou," Renji slurred on Ichigo's left, his breath hot and stinking with booze. "Killyou, take yer woman for my own!"
Ichigo was sweating and shaking so hard he was afraid he might pass out, but the feathered dandy continued to insist nothing was wrong. "Oh, Renji-kun! Never could handle his liquor! Pay him no mind, Kurosaki-bozu. Why, you're safer with us than anywhere in Soul Society! After all…" And here a fey green light flickered in his pupils. "… we have you to thank for saving dear Rukia-chan."
"Ru-u-u-kia-a-a," Yamada groaned, twitching and glowering at Ichigo with a sullen murderous fury.
"Yes, indeed." Yumichika continued to pour out more drinks, his voice slipping into a musing, introspective tone. "My stars, what a shock! It turns out the most important man in Rukia's life is not, as we all thought, her brother Byakuya, but you, Kurosaki Ichigo. Yes…"
"Overdose," Hanataro mumbled into his glass as he drank deep. "Misdiagnosis, tragic accident, unforeseen complications, prognosis… not good…"
While Ichigo's blood ran cold, Yumichika Ayasegawa picked up a glass of rum, examining the amber beverage from every angle. "And in such a short time, too. Here some of us have spent years, practically decades, trying to catch her eye, and you just come waltzing in…" His purple eyes drifted over to linger on the teen's sweating face, "… with your sallow complexion, puffy un-moisturized beady eyes, and dry bristly hair that looks like it belongs on the end of a broom, and just… sweep her off her feet!"
Renji's fist banged against the table, causing Ichigo to jump two feet in the air. "Made lieutenant… got bankai… fought her handsome brother… ran all the way'ta ex'cution grounds… should'a been me…" His bleary red eyes swung to fasten on Kurosaki's face, and he breathed in a chilling rumble, "It should'a been ME-E-E-E!"
"Now, no sense crying over spilled blood, am I right, Renji-kun?" Yumichika's grin now reminded him of Gin Ichimaru. "We couldn't all be the one to save dear Rukia-chan, am I right? And so we must muster our resolve, gather our courage…" He sucked in a deep breath and exhaled on a happy sigh, "… and do what needs to be done!"
His hand was still clamped securely on Ichigo's shoulder. The sounds of the bar seemed to rachet up a notch, those three drunken losers were all sporting the same creepy serial-killer smile, and the substitute shinigami was just saying his prayers when…
"Ichigo!"
To his heartfelt relief, Rukia Kuchiki came trotting over to their table on her little legs. She leveled a disapproving frown at the trio of drunks. "What are you sots doing, bringing him in here?" she spoke angrily. "He is still underage in the human world!"
"Hi-i-i, Rukia-chan!" her fighting instructor smiled and blew her a kiss. The other two continued sending cold steel death threats at Ichigo with their eyes.
"And on a school night too!" Looking at Ichigo, her face softened, and with a disparaging smile she affectionately said, "Idiot!"
Ichigo slid under the table quick as a shot and sprang up to wrap his arms around her. "Rukia!" he declared joyously. "I'm so… so very happy to see you!"
"Did they make you drink?" she inquired earnestly, then rounded on her fellows with renewed vehemence. "I will settle up with you three later!" the tiny death god barked. "For now, let me take you home."
Ichigo heaved a grateful sob. "Yes… home!"
"See you later, Kurosaki-bozu!" Ayasegawa sang out as she led him away. "Then again… maybe you wo-o-o-n't!"
That night Ichigo slept with the light on for the first time since kindergarten.
"I am very disappointed in you, Nemu-chan!"
"Nemu sad…"
A nurse in a white uniform was running a diagnostic on his life support equipment. Unable to move, Yamamoto could only glare at the sight of the tall silver-haired healer excoriating her smaller purple-haired pupil. This was somewhat diminished by the large patch now covering his right eye.
"I trusted you to look after our patient's care, and you go and do this! For shame!"
"Nemu contrite…"
Nemu stood with head bowed and hands behind her back. For all her declarations of regret, her face had not changed one wit since casually dissecting him.
"And after everything I taught you!" Isane fumed, crossing her arms in consternation. "Oh, I am just so furious with you, I don't know what to think!"
"Nemu despondent…"
Lieutenant Kotetsu stared at that dour little doll for a while. Then suddenly, her face broke into a smile. "Oh, how can I stay mad at you when you make that cute face! I'm sorry for speaking so harshly, Nemu-chan!"
WHAT?!
Yamamoto could not believe his ears… the one he had left, anyway. As he watched aghast, the tall medic bent down and wrapped her impassive counterpart in an affectionate hug. Lieutenant Kurotsuchi made no attempt to return this sisterly embrace. However, her head did slowly rotate around until she was looking straight at Yamamoto.
And Nemu smiled.
By the time Isane let her go, the green-eyed girl's face had lapsed back into its traditional façade of calm indifference. "Come, Nemu-chan!" the healer pronounced gaily. "Let Big Sister get you some ice cream and you can tell me all about your day!"
"Yes, Nee-san." And the two girls went traipsing out.
Yamamoto watched them go, fury burning in his heart. Unthinkable! To overlook such reprehensible treatment of a longstanding superior officer! Such a thing would never have been countenanced when he was in charge! Why, if he could only rise out of this bed, he would teach those slatterns a thing or two!
"All done…"
A chuckle came off from to the side, and Yamamoto's bowels clenched. Next to his bed, the nurse had risen from checking his vitals. Her back was to him, long blonde hair spilling down her tight-fitting uniform, complete with fishnet stockings and white high-heeled shoes.
"You're looking tired, Commander-General Yamamoto," the nurse said in a disturbingly familiar voice. "Why don't I…" and she spun around, "… fluff your pillow!"
The old man uttered a long, throat-tearing scream, as he stared into the glittering mad eyes of Kisuke Urahara.
With a demented laugh, the cross-dressing genius snatched the pillow from behind Yamamoto's head and shoved it over his face. "Fluffy-fluffy!" Kisuke cackled. "FLUFFY-FLUFFY!"
"Okay," Rangiku Matsumoto threw a crafty look at the other girls seated around the table. "Kiyone-chan…" Singling out the inebriated Third Seat, who sat up straight, eager to participate despite the room spinning around her, the tall beauty stated, "Tetsuzaemon Iba, Renji Abarai, and… Chojiro Sasakibe! Marry, boink, or kill?"
"Hmmm." The short-haired imp put a gloved hand to her chin in thought. "Marry Sasakibe, that's obvious… boink Iba, and kill Abarai!"
"What?!" Lisa Yadomaru laughed. "You'd seriously rather kill Renji than sleep with him?"
"It's nothing personal, it's the shoulders!" Kiyone protested. "Have you seen Iba without his jacket on? Those shoulders are just so yummy! I want him in my hospital ward so I can rub my hands over them all day!"
"Okay, my turn," Yoruichi Shihoin set down her drink and flashed a feral grin. "Nanao-san!" She licked her lips on seeing the bespectacled woman flush and go stiff. "Saijin Komamura, Byakuya Kuchiki… and Kyoraku Shunsui!"
The other girls all screamed in excitement at this bewildering Gordian Knot of appealing men. For her part, Nanao seemed to take her time thinking before looking up and responding in a clear voice, "Marry Byakuya Kuchiki, boink Saijin Komamura, and kill Kyoraku Shunsui."
"If it was anybody else!" Hiyori Sarugaki laughed. "ANYBODY else, they would have taken Shunsui over Byakuya!"
"I have my tastes," Nanao replied, sipping her drink with a critical air.
"Me next, me next!" Yachiru Kusajishi jumped up excitedly, though they all doubted she had any idea what this game really meant. Pink candy hair flying and spinning around in a circle, she suddenly stopped to thrust a finger at Kukaku Shiba and imperiously declare, "Cinnamon Bun, Happy, and Constipated!"
Kukaku snorted, easily recognizing the weird nicknames and whom they belonged to. "That's easy. Marry Aizen, boink that creepy smile right off Gin's face, and kill Tosen."
"You sure?" Rangiku smiled cryptically. "You'd get naked with Gin?"
"Who'd want to boink Aizen?" the one-armed woman fired back.
"So it's a given that you'd kill Kaname, then." Mashiro Kuna sat up straight and nodded sagely.
"Who wouldn't?!"
They all had a good laugh at that before quieting down. "Alright, one more," Yoruichi announced. "There's only two of us left, so… Soifon! You're up!"
The master assassin uncoiled beside her mistress with a frown. She glanced at the other ladies watching her expectantly. Taking a deep breath with gimlet eyes narrowing in thought, she stated slowly, "Grimmjow Jaguerjaques…" The rest gasped in excitement at her boldness, then quickly hushed themselves to see where this was going next. "… Ulquiorra Schiffer and… Coyote Stark!"
A hush fell over the crowd. Silently, they turned to see how the last player would respond.
With a gentle, playful smile, Unohana Retsu picked up her teacup and stated, "Marry Ulquiorra, boink Grimmjow… and kill Tosen." She took a sip.
"No fair!" Yachiru bounced up and ran to Unohana's side. "No fair, he wasn't on the list."
In response, the ancient goddess reached out and caressed her youngest ally's soft cheek with loving fondness. "But I really, really want to kill him, Yachiru-chan." And Unohana smiled.
For some reason, every other person sitting at that table other than the Eleventh Division lieutenant shivered.
"Errr…" Machiro grinned nervously. "Why marry Ulquiorra, Unohana-sama?"
"Isn't it obvious?" the beauteous healer stroked her braid with easy grace. "He's so very dependable!"
They thought about this for a while, and concluded she was right. Absolutely no one had the courage to ask why Unohana chose Grimmjow. Perhaps it went without saying…
Isane stared at the resumés on her desk with a frown, then looked up at the two people in black robes sitting across from her. "Hisana Strawberry and… Nig Maruichi?"
Sitting next to one another, wearing the exact same fake handlebar mustaches and Russian fur hats, were Rukia Kuchiki and Gin Ichimaru.
"And you're from… where, exactly?" the lieutenant asked, almost dreading to hear the answer.
"Yah, very güd," Gin smiled through his fake facial hair. "Ve are being foreign exchange shinigami from Schveden, don'tcha know!"
"Und I am hailing from Pottsdam in de mortal world!" Rukia interjected strenuously. She thumped her chest and hollered, "Mucho gusto en conocerlo!"
'That's Spanish, you IDIOT!' Isane thought to herself.
She stared at the two bumbling, unconvincingly dressed clowns for a few seconds longer.
Then, looking back to her desk, she stamped their forms and handed them over. "Your shift ends at 2:30 on the dot," she advised them. "The ex-Commander-General will be in your care until then."
"Yah, very güd." 'Nig' accepted his papers. He and 'Hisana' stood and bowed to her before quickly hustling out of the lieutenant's office.
After taking a deep cleansing breath, Isane returned her attention to official paperwork. Outside her door, however, she clearly heard two voices speaking somewhat louder than a very bad stage whisper.
"See, Rukia-chan? I told ya these disguises were foolproof!"
"Shut up, Gin! Did you bring the sack of doorknobs?"
"You bet! Oh, Rukia-chan, I love it when ya treat me rough!"
"Alright. Let's go kick some withered, doddering ass!"
"Right behind'ja, Rukia-chan!"
She heard the two morons go traipsing off. While dutifully attending to the business of her division, Isane allowed herself a small, pleased smile.
Beat up my captain for two millennia, will you? See how you like it!
So resolved, she got back to work.
FIN.