Jennie's POV
After I finally stop sobbing, Jisoo quietly asks, "Did I hear her say that she loves you?"
"Yeah . . . I don't know . . . She was just trying to cause a scene or something," I say, and almost start crying again.
"Do you think . . . don't get mad at me . . . but do you think that maybe she does? You know, love you?"
"What? Of course not. I am not even sure if she even likes me. I mean, when we're alone she is so different, and I think maybe she does care about me. But I know she doesn't love me. She isn't capable of loving anyone other than herself," I explain.
"I'm on your side, Jennie, I am," Jisoo replies. "But the look on her face as we drove away, she looked heartbroken. And you can't be heartbroken if you aren't in love."
That can't be true. I felt my heart shatter when she kissed Nancy, but I don't love her.
"Do you love her?" she asks simply.
My voice comes out strained and my words too quick. "No. I don't love her . . . she is . . . well . . . she's a jerk. I have known her less than two months, and half of that . . . actually all of that time we have spent fighting. You can't love someone you only met two months ago. Besides, she's a jerk."
"You already said that," Jisoo says and I notice the hint of a smile on her lips as she tries to keep her expression neutral.
I don't like the pressure that I feel in my chest as we talk about me loving Lisa. It makes me feel nauseous and the space in the car feels much smaller. I roll down the window a crack and lean my head against it, feeling the little stream of air slip across me.
"Do you want to come back to our house, or go to your dorm?" she asks.
I want to go to my dorm and curl into a ball on my bed, but I am afraid that Wendy or Lisa will show up. The chance of Lisa coming to her father's house is so slim, that seems to be the better option.
"Your house, but can we go by my room so I can grab some clothes? I'm sorry for asking you to drive me all over."
"Jennie, the drive is short and you're my friend; stop thanking and apologizing to me," she says sternly, but her sweet smile makes me laugh.
She is the best person I have met here and I am so lucky to have her. "Well, let me thank you one last time for being such a great friend to me," I say, and she frowns playfully. "You're welcome. Now let's move on."
I RUSH AROUND MY ROOM gathering my clothes and books. I feel like I never stay in my room anymore. This will be the first night in days that I will be sleeping without Lisa. I was beginning to get used to it, how foolish of me. I grab my phone out of my drawer and walk back to Jisoo's car.
When we get to her house it's after eleven. I'm exhausted, and thankful that Marco and Karen are asleep when we arrive. Jisoo puts a pizza in the oven for us and I eat another one of my cupcakes from earlier. Baking with Karen seems like weeks ago, not hours. I have had such a long day, and it started so well with my morning with Lisa and the internship, and then she ruined it, just like she always does. After we eat the pizza, Jisoo and I walk upstairs and she shows me to the guest room that I stayed in last time. Well, I didn't quite stay in there, since I was woken up by a screaming Lisa. Time hasn't made sense since I met her; everything has happened so quickly, and it makes me dizzy to think about the better times we've had and how they're spaced out between a lot of arguing. I thank Jisoo again and she rolls her eyes at me before leaving me and going into her room. I turn on my phone to find many texts from Lisa, Wendy, and my mother. I delete all but my mother's message without reading them. I already know what they will say and I have had enough of it today. I turn my ringtone and text notifications off, put my pajamas on, and climb into the bed.
It's one in the morning, and I have to wake up in a few hours. Tomorrow is going to be a long day. If I hadn't missed my morning classes today, I would just stay home, well, here. Or go back to my dorm. Why did I convince Lisa to come back to Literature? After tossing and turning, I roll over to check the time: almost three. Despite the fact that today has been one of the best, and then worst, days of my life, I am too exhausted to even sleep.
Before I realize what I'm doing, I'm standing in front of Lisa's bedroom door. And then I enter it. With no one around but myself to judge me, I open the second drawer and grab a white T-shirt. I can tell that it has never been worn but I don't care. I pull my own shirt off and replace it. I lie down on the bed and bury my head in the pillow. Lisa's minty scent fills my nostrils and I finally fall asleep.