Siph: Howdy, folks! We're back in action, and it's time to see what's going on with Ludwig von Kooky. J still isn't back, by the way. But before we begin, let's see what the results were for Kraig's poll!
Cyan got 1 vote, Green got 1 vote, Blue got 1 vote, Black got 1 vote, Brown got 1 vote, Yellow got 1 vote, AND Red, White, Grey, Orange, Purple, Tan, Pink, and all unlisted colors got zilch.
And the winner… of the poll for Kraig's shell color… with a whopping 2 votes iiiiiiss… Teal!
Seriously? Only 8 people voted? Out of 51 watchers? That's it, no cookies for 43 of you! For you special 8 people, have at it! I have chocolate chip, peanut butter, Oreos, oatmeal raisin, thin mints, gingersnaps, and snickerdoodles. They're all homemade! Except for the Oreos.
Disclaimer: Allergy Information: The chocolate chip cookies, thin mints, and Oreos all contain chocolate. Dairy went into all the homemade cookies, and eggs went into a few of them, too. The peanut butter cookies are made with real peanuts. I'm pretty sure all of them have gluten. And don't tell J about the mess in the kitchen.
Chapter 30: Nothing Lost
"So what do you think that gas was?" Pauline asked as she and Kraig made their way up the stairwell.
The Koopa hummed, "I can't say. We don't seem to be suffering any adverse effects, so it couldn't have been toxic. Not to us, at least."
"So if it doesn't do anything to you, then I'll bet it didn't do anything to your patients upstairs, since they're Koopas, too." Pauline once again found the Dragon-Koopas' names slipping from her mind. I really need to get them memorized for when they wake up.
Kraig nodded as they reached their desired level. "Well, we're going to find out in a minute." He fluidly opened the door and let Pauline enter first.
The hallway was a mess. Debris from the broken doors was strewn about the floor. In addition to the bits on metal and plaster, papers and files were also scattered on the ground. Several employees were working together to gather the important papers, including the Dayzee from earlier. She spotted the duo and strode over to them.
"Dayna, is everyone all right?" Kraig asked her.
Dayna waved her hand. "Don't worry. We're fine. Except for the doors, of course." She poked him in the plastron playfully. "Nothing can keep you away from work, can it?"
Kraig shook his head. "I'm just worried about the patients."
"The Koopas," Pauline specified.
Dayna nodded and led them to room 6D-4. "Those Bullet Bills didn't do anything to them, if that's what you want to know."
"Thank the Stars," Pauline sighed.
"In fact, we had finished all our medical procedures before they showed up, so they didn't affect our work on the Koopas at all. We put Wendy's legs in casts. Ludwig's elbow has been relocated and put in a splint, and we've put ointment on his skin to treat his burns."
"Excellent." Kraig stopped outside the door, and, regaining a professional air about him, he inquired further, "Do you know if anything else has come up as a result of that yellow gas?"
"I don't know," the Dayzee replied. "But I do know that Lewin was able to use an empty pill bottle he had in his pocket to capture some of it, in spite of the chaos."
"That's using his head. I take it he's already gone to get it properly stored?"
"Right. Once it gets stored and tested, we'll have a better idea of what exactly it was for."
As the two continued their discussion, Pauline decided to enter the room on her own.
Another Dayzee walked up to her. "Do you need something?"
"I just wanted to see to the Koopas." Upon the Dayzee's questioning look, she added, "I'm the one who found them."
"Ah," she answered. "Well, they're both still right here. We've finished treating Ludwig's burns, and we've already set Wendy's leg braces. Those ridiculous Bullet Bills couldn't have arrived at a later time. We were all completely finished when they showed."
Pauline looked around. There really didn't seem to be anything wrong in the room, aside from the draft from the empty doorframe. She saw both Koopas were still unconscious.
Who should I check on first? she wondered. Wendy was the first to catch her vision, so she went to her first.
Pauline was very surprised to see Wendy up close in her current condition. "She has no hair…" Pauline couldn't believe the bald Koopa in front of her was the same dolled-up princess from the photo Mario sent her. I focused so much on the ribbon in that photo that I didn't even process the fact that she has no hair.
Wendy's tattered ribbon was still on her head, however barely. Any makeup she may have had before was clearly gone. If Kraig hadn't told me this was her, I would have sworn she was a boy.
Both of Wendy's legs were bound in casts.
"Poor girl." Pauline thought for a minute. She looked at her purse. Maybe I can help give her a makeover after she wakes up. I'll bet she'll like that. I know I'd feel a little better if I were in her shoes.
"She at least appears to be sleeping peacefully," Kraig said, startling Pauline.
Regaining her bearings, she hummed in agreement. "She must have had a rough night." She looked down at Kraig. "I was thinking maybe I could help touch up her makeup when she's awake. If that's not going to mess with any doctor's orders."
Kraig shook his head, smiling. "I don't think there is any problem with that."
Pauline smiled back. "Good."
The two were interrupted by a groan from the other side of the room. They turned towards the source of the deep voice.
The blue-haired Koopa's face was contorted and he stirred slightly.
Pauline and the doctor hurried to his side.
"Careful, your highness," Kraig ordered softly. "Your arm is still recovering from being dislocated. I wouldn't recommend exacerbating your splint."
"Hm?" his eyes fluttered open. He glanced around the room, taking note of every detail — the floor, the medical equipment, the doorway, and — Wendy! — before settling his eyes on Kraig and Pauline. "You…" he said in a low voice, focusing on the Koopa Troopa.
Pauline looked at Kraig, then back at the Koopaling.
"You look familiar," the prince continued, face unreadable. "Yes. Yes, you look very similar to one of our Koopatrols." Kraig couldn't even get a word in before the genius smiled ever so slightly. "You must be Spiky John's brother."
"Wow, Prince Ludwig!" Kraig beamed. "Yes, I am!"
Pauline was in awe. "Mario wasn't kidding when he said you were smart."
At the mention of that name, Ludwig's cold, sapphire eyes met hers, and she froze. Pauline swore his eyes could pierce the heavens all the way to Star Haven and beyond.
"You know Mario?" he asked resentfully.
"Well," she began timidly. I should have guessed that he wouldn't react kindly when I mentioned his dad's archrival. She cursed herself silently and continued, "Mario and I used to date, back when he and Luigi still lived here. We broke up a while before they moved to the Mushroom Kingdom."
"Interesting," Ludwig replied, eyes narrowing slightly. "And where exactly is here?"
"You're at Big Ape Hospital, in Big Ape City," Kraig replied. "I'm one of the doctors here. Pauline here was the one who found you." He gestured to the human. "She even took off work to see you and your sister through."
"Is that so?" the Koopaling sounded almost… amused? Pauline wasn't sure.
She nodded. "It's what Mario would have done."
Ludwig's nostrils flared at the plumber's name, but he conceded, "I suppose so." He looked down at his arm. "Why is my arm in a splint and why do my burns still sting? And why are Wendy's legs in casts? Haven't we been treated yet?"
"You have," Kraig replied.
Ludwig's singed brow furrowed. "Then why is my arm in a splint and Wendy's legs in casts?!"
The doctor sighed, "I understand your frustration. I was confused also when I first came here. You are used to Darklandian medical practice, which relies on healing spells and Items. But clinics in Big Ape City do not use those. We use medicine and physical therapy here. The only healing Items you will find are in the meals served here."
Ludwig scoffed at the notion. "That's inimitably inefficient. You realize how exponentially the input effort and outcome rate increase?"
Kraig didn't even blink. He must have had this conversation before, Pauline guessed.
"If a shortage were ever to happen in the Item business," the doctor countered, "our practices would become invaluable."
The prince scoffed again and rolled his eyes. "How paranoid. The probability of such a crippling shortage in a world where healing Items are so overabundant as they are would be impossibly minute."
Suddenly Dayna came back in.
"Kraig?" she called.
"Yes, Dayna?"
"We've discovered what that yellow gas did."
*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*
The Koopa thanked Billy Banzai has he dropped her off outside Big Ape Hospital and flew off to see to his flight team.
She looked up at the building with a hard gaze.
"They're in there," she said. "I know it."
Siph: Uhhhhhh… Ludwig, Kraig, stop using big words. My head hurts. Making me get out the thesaurus.
But hey, at least Ludwig and Wendy don't have to worry about lost items. Heeyyyyy wait a minute! That must be why J titled this chapter "Nothing Lost"! Ha, I'm smart. And Dayna makes an unexpected return! I wonder if she'll keep coming back. Hey! Maybe she'll be a love interest for Kraig!
…Hold it. I just got an update from J. That's a no. Dayna's married. Bummer. Sorry if I got your hopes up. Oh who am I kidding? Some of you will probably still ship them to kingdom come.
But who's this mystery girl at the end after the page break? Come on, J! Tell us! At least tell me! I'm awesome at keeping secrets!
Okay that never works. J isn't telling me squat, which means he ain't telling anyone squat.
He did tell me that he'll be back in the author's notes next chapter, though.
Yay! Daddy's coming back to me! Uh, I mean… I didn't miss him. Nope. Not at all. Stop looking at me like that. If I give you a cookie, will you stop? Oh, and please leave a cool review. That'll make J super happy when he comes back.