CHAPTER FIFTEEN

A GOD BUYS US CHEESEBURGERS

I don't own Percy Jackson.

When their train rolled into Denver the afternoon after Percy's brush with death, Percy couldn't help but cheer silently. They hadn't eaten since the night before, and they hadn't showered since camp, which she was sure was obvious. Even Will's usually sunny attitude had taken a hit.

"I want to contact Chiron," Will announced as soon as they had gotten off. "I want to tell him about your conversation with the river spirit."

"But we can't use phones, right?"

"Right." When he saw her confused expression, he explained, "I'm going to use I-M."

He didn't bother explaining what I-M was. Maybe he thought she already knew, or didn't think it was important, or just had too much on his mind. He had never ignored Percy before just for the sake of ignoring her, and she didn't think he'd start now.

They wandered through the city for almost half an hour, the air dry and hot, the sun beating down relentlessly on them; being in the middle of the country when she was so used to the sea breeze was a strange feeling. The Rocky Mountains loomed in the distance, like a tidal wave about to crash, though it wasn't a tidal wave that Percy actually enjoyed.

"Where are we going?" she finally asked.

"Someplace for a rainbow." He suddenly pointed. "Like that."

It was an empty do-it-yourself carwash. Will went for the stall furthest from the street while Grover and Percy kept an eye out for patrol cars; not only were they three adolescents hanging out at a carwash with no car, but Percy's face was currently being broadcasted to every national news as the newest and youngest criminal mastermind.

"Seventy-five cents," Grover said as he took out the spray gun. "I've only got two quarters. Will?"

Will shook his head. "I spent everything on the dining car."

Percy managed to dig out a quarter, leaving her just two nickels and a drachma. "Is anybody going to tell me what we're doing?"

"I told you. I-M'ing."

"Instant messaging?"

"Iris messaging," Will corrected. "She carries messages for the gods, and if you know how to ask, she does the same for half-bloods."

"And you summon her with a spray gun."

"We summon her with a rainbow. And right now, the spray gun is our easiest way."

Grover pointed the nozzle in the air and water hissed out in a thick white mist. Sure enough, the light broke into colors; a pretty sight that almost made Percy feel better for some, strange reason. Being so close to water and feeling the mist... it made her feel a little less miserable.

"Drachma, please," Will said. Percy handed it over, and he raised it over his head. "O goddess, accept our offering. Half-Blood Hill."

He threw the drachma into the rainbow, and it disappeared in a golden shimmer.

For a moment, nothing happened.

And then suddenly Percy was staring at the strawberry fields she found herself missing so much, with Long Island Sound in the back. Their message seemed to have opened on the porch of the Big House, and standing with his back to them was a familiar sandy-haired guy in shoes and an orange tank top, holding a bronze sword and staring intently down at something in the meadow.

"Luke?"

He turned at the sound of her voice, eyes wide with surprise. He could've been standing right in front of her, though she could only see the partn of him that appeared in the rainbow.

"Percy!" His scarred face broke into a grin. "Is that Will, too? Thank the gods! Are you guys okay?"

"We're fine," Will said stiffly. Clearly, despite everything, his dislike of Luke was still as raging as ever. "We thought Chiron was going to answer."

"He's down at the cabins." Luke's smile faded. "We're having some issues with the campers. Listen, is everything cool with you? Is Grover all right?"

"I'm right here," Grover called. He held the nozzle out to one side and stepped into Luke's line of vision. "What kind of issues?"

Just as Luke went to answer, a giant car pulled into the car wash beside them, stereo turned up all the way; the bass was so loud that the pavement was vibrating beneath their feet and Percy was sure she would never be able to hear anything again.

"What's that noise?" Luke yelled.

"I'll take care of it!" Will yelled back. "Grover, come on!"

"What?" Grover said. "But—"

"Give Percy the nozzle and come on!" he ordered.

Percy didn't miss the worried look he gave her, though, or the warning in his eyes; she remembered everything Will had told her, and he was trying to remind her to be careful. She didn't doubt that, under better circumstances, he wouldn't have left her alone with Luke at all.

Grover missed their entire exchange, though. He just muttered something and handed Percy the spray gun before following Will.

Percy had to readjust the hose so she could keep the rainbow going and still see Luke.

"Chiron had to break up a fight," Luke shouted over the music. "Things are pretty tense here, Percy. Word leaked out about the Zeus–Poseidon stand-off. We're still not sure how—probably the same scumbag who summoned the hellhound. Now the campers are starting to take sides. It's shaping up like the Trojan War all over again. Aphrodite, Ares and Apollo are backing Poseidon, more or less. Athena is backing Zeus."

Percy almost missed that he wisely didn't comment on Hermes' stance. If what Luke said was true, that this was like the Trojan War... hadn't Aphrodite, Ares, and Apollo backed Troy, and Athena backed the Achaeans? Percy suddenly very much hoped that Poseidon wasn't Troy.

The thought of Clarisse's cabin being on her father's side for anything made her shudder, but the realization that Annabeth's cabin was against her made a shiver go up her spine. Having the cleverest, wisest, and most skilled at combat cabin at camp wanting you dead was not exactly reassuring.

Then again, Luke had said that the Apollo cabin was on her side, and knowing that Will's cabin was backing her made her feel better. Speaking of Will, she could hear him arguing with some guy in the next stall, and then the music's volume decreased drastically.

"So what's your status?" Luke asked. "Chiron will be sorry he missed you."

Percy remembered Will's warning. Her first instinct was to tell Luke everything, even her dreams, but she hesitated. She trusted Will. In any case, she didn't have to lie, but she didn't have to tell him the whole truth either.

So she stuck with the major details instead, careful to not give too much away but enough to satisfy his curiosity. Luke just nodded occasionally but he didn't give much input, though he had looked worried when she recounted all of her fights. She had just finished her story when the beeper went off, and she realized that she only half one more minute before the water shut off.

"Wish I could be there," Luke said, though Percy thought dryly that Will would've either murdered himself or Luke before he let that happen. "We can't help from here, I'm afraid, but listen... it had to be Hades who took the master bolt. He was there at Olympus at the winter solstice. I was chaperoning a field trip and we saw him."

"But Chiron said the gods can't take each other's magic items directly."

"True." Yet Luke still looked troubled. "But Hades has the helm of darkness, and who else could steal the master bolt? You'd have to be invisible."

They were both silent, until Luke seemed to realize what he'd said.

"Oh, hey," he protested. "I didn't mean Annabeth. She and I have known each other forever. She would never... I mean, she's like a little sister to me."

If Annabeth had been there, Percy had no doubt she would've hated that description. Yet just as quickly as the young blonde came to mind, Percy banished the thought. Annabeth had yet to apologize to her for her attitude and treatment of Percy, if she ever did, and while Percy wasn't one to hold a grudge for long, she didn't see the point in trying to be friends with someone who didn't want to be friends back.

From the stall next to them, the music suddenly screeched to a halt. A man screamed in terror, car doors slammed and the Lincoln peeled out of the car wash.

"You'd better go see what that was," Luke said. "Listen, are you wearing the flying shoes? I'll feel better if I know they've done you some good."

"Oh... yeah!" she said, trying to feign as much enthusiasm as she could. "Of course. They helped, a lot. Thanks for them."

Why did the words taste so bitter?

Luke didn't seem to notice, though. He was grinning as he asked, "Really? They fit and everything?"

Percy didn't trust herself to speak, so she simply nodded mutely. Thankfully, the machine beeped again, and the water began to drizzle instead of spray, the mist slowly evaporating.

"Well, take care of yourself out there in Denver," Luke called, his voice getting fainter. "And tell Grover it'll be better this time! Nobody will get turned into a pine tree if he just—"

He never got to finish his sentence. Iris cut the connection, and Luke's image faded into nothing alongside the mist, leaving Percy alone in a wet, empty car-wash stall. She wished the divide between her heart and her head would stop trying to tear her apart. She wished she knew who to trust—Luke or Will.

Before she could dwell on those thoughts any longer, Will and Grover came around the corner, laughing, but they stopped when they saw her expression.

Will's smile had faded. "What happened? Did Luke say something?"

His eyes had turned stormy, but Percy just shook her head. She didn't want to talk about it then.

"Later," she said, and thankfully, Will seemed to understand. "Let's find some dinner first."

A few minutes later, they were sitting at a booth in a gleaming chrome diner, Will tapping his fingers on the table anxiously, perhaps trying to think up a sob story for them, while families all around them were eating burgers and drinking milkshakes and sodas.

If only they hadn't lost the backpack...

The waitress finally came over, perhaps delaying as long as she could, and raised her eyebrow skeptically. "Well?"

"We, um, want to order dinner," Will said.

"You have money for it?"

Will just sighed and muttered something under his breath in Ancient Greek. Percy was still trying to figure out the language, but she caught something about his father, and free food.

Just as he raised his hand, perhaps to do that finger-snap thing he had done to the passengers on the train, a rumble shook the whole building. Percy swivelled in her seat to see a motorcycle the size of a baby elephant pull up to the curb.

Everybody had stopped talking to stare at possibly the most bizarre and violent looking motorcycle Percy had ever seen. Its headlights glared red, flames painted on its gas tank, a shotgun holster riveted to both sides, with shotguns in them, and the seat looked like it was leather made from... human skin.

Surely that was illegal, and given that Percy was a wanted criminal in half the states, she wasn't sure she wanted to be seen with another criminal. She had just turned to Will and Grover and suggested that they leave when she saw Will's narrowed eyes and clenched fist.

"Great," he grumbled. "He's here."

He said the word he like he would say Cerberus' gym socks.

"Don't make him angry," Grover pleaded as the man dismounted.

He turned out to be a man that could've made pro wrestlers flee in terror, dressed in a dark red shirt, black jeans, wraparound shades, a black leather duster, and a hunting knife strapped to his thigh. Though Percy couldn't see his eyes, his wicked smirk and scarred cheeks from many, many fights told her enough about him.

A hot, dry wind blasted through the diner when he walked in, all the people rising as if hypnotized, but he waved his hand dismissively and they all sat down again. Everybody went back to their conversations. The waitress blinked, as if somebody had just pressed the rewind button on her brain.

"You kids have money to pay for it?" she asked again.

"It's on me."

The biker had reached them. Will was determinedly staring down at the table, but the man slid into their booth, forcing Will to move aside and give him room. For someone who hated the other, Will was being strangely nice to the biker. A horrible feeling settled in Percy's stomach when she realized what it might've meant, and why his face was beginning to look so familiar...

"You're still here?"

His remark to the waitress had Percy glancing up. He waved his hand again and the waitress stiffened, turning as if she had been spun around, and marched back toward the kitchen. Percy's hands were itching for Riptide, still tucked behind her ear, but the warning flashing in Will's eyes made her desist.

There was something off about him; he was making her angry. Irrationally angry. She wanted to pick a fight, she wanted to punch something, she wanted to shout at someone. She managed to resist the urge, though it was far more difficult than it should've been.

"So you're old Seaweed's kid, huh?"

His wicked grin made Percy's heart drop.

"Oh," she said bleakly, because that's who he reminded her of. "You're Ares. Clarisse's dad."

Indeed, Ares had the same vicious sneer as the campers from Cabin Five. Yet wasn't Ares war, not irrational anger? Why did he make her as furious as when she saw Gabe? Why did she want to fight an actual god? That was why Will was determinedly staring at the table despite his obvious anger. Even he knew better than to pick a fight with Ares.

"That's right, punk," Ares said, grinning, taking off his shades. His eyes were unnervingly pure fire. "I heard you broke Clarisse's spear."

"She was asking for it."

Will's eyes flashed in warning, but Ares didn't looked offended. "Probably. That's cool. I don't fight my kids' fights, you know? What I'm here for—I heard you were in town. I got a little proposition for you."

The waitress chose to return in that moment, carrying trays of cheeseburgers, fries, and shakes. While Grover dug into his meal, Percy and Will just stared at it before glancing at each other, already knowing what the other was thinking of: Medusa. The last time they had cheeseburgers, they had immediately gotten attacked. Now it was Ares asking them for something. It seemed as though Percy could never get a cheeseburger without something happening to them.

But hunger took over and soon they were eating; slowly, and carefully, but eating, at least. Ares, on the other hand, just pulled out a few gold drachmas; he almost handed them over before he paused, as if just realizing something, and the drachmas flickered before turning into a hundred dollars in cash. The waitress didn't seem to notice anything weird. She just took the money and left.

"Now, before I was interrupted, I need you to do me a favor."

"A favor," Percy repeated. "Why?"

"Because I don't want to do it myself. It's not much. I left my shield here in town. I want you to fetch it for me."

"But why can't you get it?"

It had been a completely innocent question in Percy's mind, and she hadn't delivered it with any malice, but with the way Ares was glaring at her, one would've thought she just spit in his hotdog.

"Why don't I turn you into a prairie dog and run you over with my Harley? Because I don't feel like it. A god is giving you an opportunity to prove yourself, Percy Jackson. Will you prove yourself a coward?"

Percy's fists clenched under the table. "Sorry, but we've already got a quest. Maybe next time."

"I know all about your quest, punk," Ares said. "When that item was first stolen, Zeus sent his best out looking for it: Apollo, Athena, Artemis and me, naturally. If I couldn't sniff out a weapon that powerful..." He paused. "Well... if I couldn't find it, you got no hope. Nevertheless, I'm trying to give you the benefit of a doubt. Your dad and I go way back. After all, I'm the one who told him my suspicions about old Corpse Breath."

"You told him Hades stole the bolt?"

"Sure. Framing somebody to start a war. Oldest trick in the book. I recognized it immediately. In a way, you got me to thank for your little quest."

"Thanks," Percy muttered.

"I'm generous," Ares said, and Percy could've snorted. "Just help me out, and I'll help you. I'll arrange you a ride west. I'll even tell you something you need to know. Something about your mom."

Percy's retort came screeching to a halt. "My mom?"

Ares grinned, like he knew she would fall for that. "It's in a water park a mile west on Delancy. You can't miss it. Look for the Tunnel of Love ride. It's where my date ended."

Percy, wanting the last word, snapped back, "Your date? Something scare you off?"

Will looked like he was ready to yell at her, but Ares didn't blast her on the spot. He must've needed her, badly. She wondered why. There was something off about his snarl, too; like it was almost... false. Almost threatened. Almost nervous.

"You're lucky you met me, punk, and not one of the other Olympians. They're not as forgiving of rudeness as I am. I'll meet you back here when you're done. Don't disappoint me."

And then she blinked and Ares was gone, leaving her to wonder briefly if it had all been a dream, though Will and Grover's expressions told her otherwise.

"Great," Will said unhappily. "Ares. Of all the gods... great. I was hoping Dad would come, even though they're not allowed to help their kids... great."

"Look, we can just forget Ares. It's probably just some trick."

"We can't," Will said glumly. "He wasn't kidding about turning you into a rodent. You can't just ignore the gods like that."

"But why would he need me? And this water park... he acted almost scared. What would make a war god run away like that?"

Will and Grover glanced nervously at each other.

Will said, "I'm afraid we'll have to find out."

By the time they had managed to find the waterpark, it was sunset. Percy had been muttering angrily the entire time, though she didn't miss the worried looks Will and Grover threw each other. She didn't know if they were worried about her, or what was to come. She found she didn't care.

The waterpark, once called WATERLAND, as Will informed her through his incredible deductive skills, now had a few of its letters smashed out, reading instead WAT R A D. It was clearly abandoned, or at least in the process; the pools and slides were all dry, trash fluttering around behind the padlocked gates. It looked sad, and creepy. If Percy had been a movie director, she would've chosen this place for a horror scene.

"If Ares brings his girlfriend here for a date," she said bitterly, glancing up at the barbed wire that topped the main gates, "I'd hate to see what she looks like."

"Percy," Will warned. "Be more respectful."

"Why? I thought you hated Ares."

"He's still a god. And his girlfriend is very temperamental."

"You don't want to insult her looks," Grover added.

"Who? Echidna?"

"No, Aphrodite," Grover said, a little dreamily. "Goddess of love."

"Isn't she married?"

"So?"

"Oh," Percy said, suddenly remembering the strangeness of godly romantic relationships. "Right. So, um, how do we get in?"

Will opened his mouth, but Grover beat him to it.

"Maia!"

In an instant, his shoes sprouted wings, and he launched himself over the fence, doing an unintended somersault in midair, before stumbling to a landing on the opposite side. He dusted off his jeans, as if he'd planned the whole thing. "You guys coming?"

"Exploding arrow," Will grumbled. "That's what I was going to suggest. But now that I think about it, it's not a good idea. Someone might call the cops, and when there's already a nationwide manhunt for you..." He frowned. "Wait, manhunt or womanhunt?"

"Guys! Come on!"

Grover's impatient call had Percy and Will glance at each other glumly before tentatively climbing the old-fashioned way. Will went first, holding down the barbed wire for Percy when she crawled over the top, and when the two of them finally made it down, Percy wished she had just asked Will to blow up the gates.

"So what now?" Percy asked.

"Split up?" Grover suggested.

Percy shook her head immediately. "That's how people die in horror movies. Don't you remember movie nights?"

"I hid under the blankets for most of the scary scenes," he admitted, and Will and Percy snorted.

"Grover, you're a satyr in a world full of gods, titans, and every monster imaginable... and you're scared of a train full of zombies? And when you know that they're not real?"

"Train to Busan was scary!" Grover insisted. "Especially when I couldn't understand it!"

"Most people would argue that makes it less scary."

"Then they have no idea what they were talking about!"

Back at Yancy, Percy had often snuck into Grover's dorm to watch movies occasionally. His roommate, a guy named Daniel, was nice enough, but he was also an avid rule-keeper; they always had to wait until he was sleeping before they could begin their marathon.

When Grover was out of earshot, however, Percy whispered to Will, "Don't you dare tell Grover this, but I was pretty terrified during the movie too."

"You're scared of horror movies?"

"Yeah," she admitted. "It's kind of stupid. I mean, I love watching them, but they scare the bejeebers out of me. I can't really watch them on my own."

When Will didn't reply immediately, Percy realized it was probably because he hadn't watched a real movie in years—he had said he hadn't left camp since he was eight, after all.

"We should have a movie night," she offered. "The three of us. In my cabin. We can even watch horror movies and laugh at Grover when he hides under the sheets."

A smile tugged at his lips. "You mean I can laugh when you follow."

"Hey!"

"Guys. Look."

Grover's voice cut off the rest of Percy's retort. He was pointing at a souvenir shop that had been left open. Merchandise still lined the shelves: snow globes, pencils, postcards and racks of—

"Clothes," Will said. "Fresh clothes."

"Yeah," Percy said. "But you can't just—"

"Watch me."

He snatched an entire row of stuff off the racks and disappeared into the changing room. A few minutes later he came out in Waterland flower-print shorts, a big red Waterland T-shirt and commemorative Waterland surf shoes. A Waterlandbackpack was slung over his shoulder, obviously stuffed with more goodies.

He raised an eyebrow at their flabbergasted expression. Percy and Grover glanced at each other, the latter shrugging, and then soon, all three of them were decked out like walking advertisements for the defunct theme park.

"I should get something for my siblings," Will mused as he snatched an entire row of stuff. "Keychain? Sunglasses?"

"Camera?" Percy suggested.

He blinked, and then nodded. "Yes. That's a good one."

A whole armful of those small, cheap, disposable cameras found their way into Percy's bad before the three of them went back to their original mission.

"Okay, maybe we should split up," Percy said. "It's getting dark."

"Which is why we can't," Will argued. "Monsters are more bold at night. We need to stick together."

"But—"

"Doesn't matter," Grover said loudly, pointing. "I think I found it."

It was an empty pool that would've been now great for skateboarding—fifty meters across and bowl-shaped. Around the rim, a dozen bronze statues of Cupid stood guard with wings spread and bows ready to fire. On the opposite side from them, a tunnel opened up, probably where the water flowed into when the pool was full. The sign above it read: THRILL RIDE O' LOVE: THIS IS NOT YOUR PARENTS' TUNNEL OF LOVE!

Will pointed. "Guys, look."

Marooned at the bottom of the pool was a pink-and-white two-seater boat with a canopy over the top and little hearts painted all over it. In the left seat, glinting in the fading light, was Ares's shield, a polished circle of bronze.

"Something's wrong," Will said, frowning. "This is too easy. Ares wouldn't ask us for help if it was this easy. Why...?" He ran his fingers along the base of the nearest Cupid statue. "There's a Greek letter carved here. Eta. I wonder..."

"Grover," Percy said, "you smell any monsters?"

He sniffed the wind. "Nothing."

"Nothing—like, in-the-park-and-you-didn't-smell-Echidna nothing, or really nothing?"

Grover looked hurt. "I told you, that was in the forest."

"Okay, I'm sorry." Percy took a deep breath. "I'm going down there."

"I'll go with you." Grover didn't sound too enthusiastic, but Percy was sure he was trying to make up for what happened in the park.

"No," she told him. "I want you to stay up top with the flying shoes. You're the Red Baron, remember? I'll be counting on you for backup, in case something goes wrong."

Grover puffed up his chest a little. "Sure. But what could go wrong?"

"I don't know. Just a feeling."

Percy went to slowly inch her way down the side of the pool, but she had only made it five steps before she heard someone following her and turned around in surprise.

"Oh. Hi."

Will laughed at how awkward she sounded. "Didn't think it was a good idea to let you do this by yourself. Last time we left you alone, you were attacked by a Chimera."

"Don't forget Echidna," I said jokingly.

"Ah, yes, how could I forget that you were attacked by two of the worst monsters that the Greek world has to offer?" He shook his head. "Honestly, Percy, only you would have luck like that."

"Hey, don't ask me." She raised her hands and nearly fell on her face when her foot hit a slippery patch of plastic. "I've been asking myself the same question."

"By the time this quest is over, I'm going to have gained a whole head of white hairs—that's the kind of stress you give me."

"Oh, shut up."

They had reached the boat. The shield was propped on one seat, and next to it was a lady's silk scarf. Percy tried to imagine Ares and Aphrodite here, a couple of gods meeting in a junked-out amusement-park ride. Why? Then she noticed something she hadn't seen from up top: mirrors all the way around the rim of the pool, facing this spot. They could see themselves no matter which direction they looked. That must be it. While Ares and Aphrodite were smooching with each other they could look at their favorite people: themselves.

Will picked up the scarf. It shimmered pink, and the perfume seemed to switch scents in an instant—rose, mountain laurel, and other plants Percy didn't know. His expression turned dreamy, and Percy didn't need to be an expert in Greek mythology to know what was happening. Just as he was about to rub the scarf against his cheek, she decided to put him out of his misery and snatched it away from him, stuffing it in her pocket.

"Yeah, let's avoid the love magic," she said.

Will blinked, like someone had just woken him up. "Huh?"

"Nothing."

She went to grab the shield when Will suddenly grabbed her and pulled her back.

"Ow! Will, what the—"

"There's another Eta here." He pointed. "But it doesn't make any sense. Why? These are Cupid statues—Roman statues. Why would they have Greek letters carved into their park?"

"We've already established that there was something funky going on with this entire stupid trip, right? Let's just grab the shield and get out of here as soon as we can."

Will tried to protest, but Percy was tired and irritated. All she really wanted in that moment (other than her mom back) was a nap. So, admittedly, she didn't make the best choice. She grabbed the shield.

She knew she made a mistake immediately.

Her hand had broken through something connecting the shield to the dashboard. A cobweb, she had thought, but upon closer inspection, she realized that it was some kind of metal filament, so fine it was almost invisible. A tripwire.

"Oh no."

"Oh no?" Will suddenly sounded very nervous. "What do you mean, oh no?"

"Oh no, as in oh no, I may have just triggered a trap."

"You what?"

Noise erupted all around them, of a million gears grinding, as if the whole pool were turning into one giant machine.

Grover yelled, "Guys!"

Up on the rim, the Cupid statues were drawing their bows into firing position. Before Percy could suggest taking cover, they shot, but not at them. The statues fired at each other, across the rim of the pool. Silky cables trailed from the arrows, arcing over the pool and anchoring where they landed to form a huge golden asterisk. Then smaller metallic threads started weaving together magically between the main strands, making a net.

"We have to get out," Percy said.

"Duh!"

Percy grabbed the shield and they ran, but going up the slope of the pool was not as easy as going down.

"Come on!" Grover shouted.

He was trying to hold open a section of the net for them, but wherever he touched it, the golden threads started to wrap around his hands.

The Cupids' heads popped open. Out came video cameras. Spotlights rose up all around the pool, blinding them for a few seconds with illumination, and a loudspeaker voice boomed: "Live to Olympus in one minute... Fifty-nine seconds, fifty-eight...'

"Hephaestus!" Will screamed. "I'm so stupid! Eta is 'H.' He made this trap to catch his wife with Ares. Now we're going to be broadcast live to Olympus and look like absolute fools!"

Really, by that point, Will shouldn't even have been surprised anymore, but Percy thought it wise to not say anything.

They'd almost made it to the rim when the row of mirrors opened like hatches and thousands of tiny metallic... things poured out.

It was an army of wind-up creepy-crawlies: bronze-gear bodies, spindly legs, little pincer mouths, all scuttling towards them in a wave of clacking, whirring metal.

"Spiders!" Will said.

Percy, embarrassingly, didn't act as calmly.

She shrieked and fell backwards, flailing like an idiot and trying to whack spiders away from her, hardly aware of Will unsheathing his sword and stabbing at the creepy crawlies with one hand while dragging her back to the boat with the other.

"You're scared of spiders?" he shouted, almost accusingly.

"When there's like a million of them, yes!"

Percy didn't want to admit that she had always been terrified of bugs in general—it was laughable, really, considering she lived in a world of monsters and gods, but she had always hated them. She had always especially hated spiders, though. She would've rather faced the Minotaur again.

Somehow, she got her nerve back, drawing Riptide and hacking away at the sea of spiders, reminding herself that they were just automation to keep herself going, but everything they did was useless. Every spider they cut down was replaced by three. They were tiring too. They couldn't keep this up.

The spiders were now a flood, millions of them scuttling around, completely surrounding them. Percy half-wanted to cry—was her fear of spiders stupid? Yes. But she was just so tired and she couldn't handle everything anymore. Strange that it was spiders that was her limit, but she almost wished she could just hide her face and all of the spiders would disappear.

Will must've seen her expression because he said, "They're not programmed to kill, just make us look stupid."

But this was a trap meant for gods. And they weren't gods.

"Thirty, twenty-nine," called the loudspeaker.

"Think," Will muttered; Percy was sure he was only half-aware he was speaking out loud. "Think."

Percy tried, but her brain was fried. Maybe they could use the entrance, but they were blocked by a million robot spiders.

"Fifteen, fourteen," the loudspeaker called.

"Grover!" Will yelled. "Get into that booth! Find the "on" switch!"

"But—"

"Do it!" And then he had suddenly grabbed her shoulders, his eyes almost as wild as hers. "Percy, listen to me. Water. Understand? We're going to use water to flush out these spiders." There was something strange about his expression; pale, gaunt, and almost terrified, but determined too. "Grover will turn on the water and you'll use it. Percy, tell me you heard me."

"Water," she said. "Use the water."

It was only after Will had said his plan that she noticed the huge water pipes from behind the mirrors that Will had clearly seen. Unfortunately, not even a second had passed when Grover looked up hopelessly from where he was in the controller's booth, raising his hands. He was telling them he had slammed every button but nothing worked.

"Five, four—"

Will made a noise of frustration, but Percy closed her eyes, forcing her racing mind to calm. She tried to think of waves, of the ocean, of rushing water, of the Mississippi River. She felt a familiar tug in her gut, but she didn't open her eyes. She tried to imagine dragging the entire ocean to Denver.

"One, zero!"

Water exploded out of the pipes, and Will screamed. It roared into the pool, sweeping away the spiders. Percy pulled Will into the seat next to her and fastened his seatbelt just as the tidal wave slammed into their boat, over the top, whisking the spiders away and dousing them completely, but not capsizing them. The boat turned, lifted in the flood, and spun in circles around the whirlpool.

The water was full of short-circuiting spiders, some of them smashing against the pool's concrete wall with such force they burst.

Spotlights glared down at them. The Cupid-cams were rolling, live to Olympus, but that was the least of their worries.

Will was deathly pale. He was clinging onto Percy's arm, looking like he was about to throw up, or die. Maybe both at the same time. Now that the spiders were gone, Percy's head cleared. Her panic faded. She was running on pure adrenaline now, though, judging from Will's expression, that wasn't a bad thing. He looked like how she did when the spiders appeared.

"You okay?" she asked him, though clearly he wasn't.

"I don't like water," was his whimpered reply.

She stared at him. "And you made a plan that involved water?"

He just squeezed his eyes shut and tightened his grip. It was perhaps a good thing he didn't respond, because Percy found her attention focused on ensuring the boat didn't smash into pieces. Maybe it was her imagination, but the boat seemed to respond to her commands. They spun around one last time, the water level now almost high enough to shred them against the metal net. Then the boat's nose turned towards the tunnel and they rocketed through into the darkness.

Will was practically plastered to her as the boat shot curls and hugged corners and took forty-five degree plunges past pictures of Romeo and Juliet and a bunch of other Valentine's Day stuff, though it would've been a lie to say she wasn't screaming with him.

When they reached the end of the tunnel, though, Percy saw something that made her say again, "Oh no."

Will's usual cool was completely gone. "Oh no? Oh no? Percy, I can't take an 'oh no' right now!"

His voice was impossibly high, every word trembling with pure terror, but Percy didn't know what to tell him.

If the ride had been in working order, they would've sailed off a ramp between the golden Gates of Love and splashed down safely in the exit pool. But there was a problem. The Gates of Love were chained. Two boats that had been washed out of the tunnel before them were now piled against the barricade—one submerged, the other cracked in half.

"Will, you have to get up!"

"Are you crazy?"

Deciding he was a lost cause, Percy reached over and unbuckled his seatbelt for him. He flailed in terror, almost smacking her in the face, but she forced him to stand up, strapping Ares' shield to her arm. Will hesitantly opened his eyes, glancing down the tunnel, and then he paled at the sight.

"I think that deserves more than an 'oh no,' Percy!" he squeaked.

"We don't have time for this!" Percy grabbed his hand. "Jump!"

Will's head whipped toward her. "What?"

"Jump!"

Will tried to protest, but she had already leapt.

Her idea was simple and insane. As the boat struck, they would use its force like a springboard to jump the gate. Percy had heard of people surviving car crashes that way, getting thrown ten or fifteen meters away from an accident. With luck, they would land in the pool.

Unfortunately, she should've known she never had any sort of luck.

Their boat smashed into the pileup and they were thrown into the air, straight over the gates, over the pool, and down towards solid tarmac. Will was screaming next to her, but really, there was nothing she could do this time to keep them from becoming demigod pancakes.

Just as she decided that death was inevitable, something grabbed them from behind.

Will yelled, "Ouch!"

Grover!

In midair, he had grabbed them both by the arm and was trying to pull them out of a crash landing, but Will and Percy had all the momentum.

"You're too heavy!" Grover said. "We're going down!"

They spiraled towards the ground, Grover doing his best to slow the fall.

They smashed into a photo-board, Grover's head going straight into the hole where tourists would put their faces, pretending to be Noo-Noo the Friendly Whale. Will and Percy tumbled to the ground, banged up but alive.

Once they caught their breath, Will and Percy got Grover out of the photo-board and thanked him for saving their lives. Percy looked back at the Thrill Ride of Love. The water was subsiding. Their boat had been smashed to pieces against the gates.

"You okay?" Grover asked.

"Yes," Percy said, just as Will said, "Debatable."

A hundred meters away, at the entrance pool, the Cupids were still filming. The statues had swiveled so that their cameras were trained straight on the trio, the spotlights in their faces.

"Show's over!" Percy yelled. "Thank you! Goodnight!"

The Cupids turned back to their original positions. The lights shut off. The park went quiet and dark again, except for the gentle trickle of water into the Thrill Ride of Love's exit pool. Percy wondered if Olympus had gone to a commercial break, or if their ratings had been any good.

She hated being teased. She hated being tricked. And she had plenty of experience handling bullies who liked to do that stuff to her. She hefted the shield on her arm and turned to her friends.

"We need to have a little talk with Ares."

I have no words to excuse how late this chapter is, so I'm not even going to bother trying. Unfortunately, the next chapter, based on memory, is even longer than this one, so... I can't really say anything. I've also used a lot of Rick Riordan's writing in this chapter to just get it out, so unfortunately, you'll see more similarities than you probably would've liked.

Lastly, thank you to readers, and reviews are appreciated!