Those who have an eye for nuance might have an inkling where this is going. The next chapter is already in progress and will be up very soon - Bry
Alive
A fan fiction in progress
by Bryan Harrison
Part 22
1
She was standing before him. Watching. Waiting. Her face seemed to undulate, shifting out of focus then to sharp clarity and back. He wanted to touch her, to hold her. But he could not reach out. An immobilizing lethargy seemed to have seized his entire body. He tried to call out, but found he could not speak. Then everything was suddenly fading away; falling into the swirling deep of an endless abyss….
No!
…dark nothingness
Don't leave me!
… timeless void.
"Mommy!"
David was forced awake by the sound of his own fearful cry. He bolted up in the bed, disoriented, blinking until the world came into focus. Where was this place? He was dressed in soft white robes, sitting in a large, oval bed with silky sheets and plush pillows. The walls were of finely polished wood and decorated with colorful paintings; and lined with shelves that were stacked with aged, hardbound books. Everything smelled of ocean morning and freshly washed linen. He heard music; soft and lilting, flowing through the room like a gentle breeze.
Teddy was sitting at the foot of the bed, watching him.
"Hello," the bear said.
"Teddy?" David said, groggily. "Where are-"
Then he saw the man standing in the doorway, gazing on him with smiling eyes.
"Good morning," Alan Hobby said, laughing gently. "That must have been some dream."
He remembered now.
"Professor Hobby," David said, relieved. He rubbed his eyes and fell back into the bedding with a sigh.
"It's Dad now, remember?"
David sat up and smiled. "Yeah," he said. "Dad. Almost forgot about that."
They stared at one another until they were both sure it was really still happening. Hobby sighed.
"I half expected to find the room empty," he said. "Then I would've called my shrink to tell him I was having hallucinations…. Wonderful hallucinations."
David screwed up his face. "What's a shrink?" Hobby laughed at that. David didn't get the joke but decided he liked the sound of his Father's laughter.
"What is that music," he said suddenly, before Hobby could answer his first question.
"Ah, yes. That is a 'lute', David," Hobby said. He pinched his chin, thinking "Now I don't choose these streams but if I am not mistaken this most likely an Italian piece. Has that romantic flare."
"It's strange," David said, ear cocked. "It's like … happy and lonely at the same time."
"I think 'wistful' is the word you're looking for," Hobby said. "I like it because it's interesting enough for listening, but not so obtrusive it distracts me from my work."
David nodded, listening to the gentle notes waft through the room. "It's beautiful," he said.
"Well, c'mon, sleepyhead" Hobby said. "You have a busy schedule today."
David instantly forgot the strange, beautiful sound. "Mommy?" he said, throwing off his covers and jumping to his feet.
Hobby winked a confirmation. "But how about some breakfast first?" he said.
David didn't have to be asked twice.
2
David stared at Hobby; eyes wide, brows raised and lips pursed. After a moment he swallowed.
"What is this?" he said, amazed.
"That is Eggs Benedict in Hollandaise Sauce," Hobby replied. He took a bite off his own plate and rolled it in his mouth. "Mmm… Cooked lightly in olive oil with a touch of basil, I believe."
David forked another mouthful and downed it quickly. "This must be the first time I've ever ate real food!" he said.
"Eaten, David. First time you've ever eaten real food," Hobby corrected, slipping easily back into parental mode after so many years. "And not so fast. Savor your meal."
David hesitated, wondering when the new chain of command had been established. But after a moment he accepted the shift of authority. There was something 'normal' about it. He tried to slow down, but it wasn't easy. The food was delicious. Since his stay in the hospital, he had come to take the eating process for granted. It was how the body functioned. He enjoyed eating primarily because he was usually hungry when he did so. But now he realized it could be an experience, something to really look forward to.
Hobby watched the boy thoughtfully. "So, apart from your trip with Chiyoko and Hiro, where have you been all this time?" he said.
David chewed slower, trying to avoid answering the question. He did not feel like talking about Lord Johnson Johnson, or Sy's gang. And he definitely couldn't tell anyone about the hospital; the morphing bots and the man named Greig, or Jeff, or Frank. Anyway, he had much more important things on his mind. He had Mommy on his mind.
When he finally swallowed an inadvertent belch followed. He grinned apologetically when his Father frowned.
"See what happens when you eat too fast?" Hobby said. "So, anyway, where ya been?"
David shrugged, toying with his food. "I've been…around" he said. Then he forked up another mouthful to avoid answering whatever question was coming next.
"Around?" Hobby said. "And where is-"
But the man was interrupted by something that whistled like a bird. David looked about the room, puzzled. Hobby pulled a small oblong disc from his shirt pocket and placed it on the table. He put a finger to his lips, signaling David to be quiet. Then he pressed 'receive'.
"Morning Grace," he said,
"Alan! Hi! I checked into the matter you called me about last night. Henry Swinton will be at the New Jersey facility today at about noon. Looks like Cyber-child is cleaning our clock with their 'Sim Suzy' knock off, and he's leading a divisional get-together, some sales pep-talk thing. Did you want me to book you?"
"No, Grace. Thank you. That's all I wanted to know. I'll be out today. Forward anything big, but you handle the usual suspects for me. Ok?"
"Sure, sure. So, what's going on with you, mister? Had a copter logged out for forty-five minutes last night? Ariel is being all hush-hush about it. You go out partying with the scavengers or something?"
Hobby winked at David "Well, aren't you just the busy body," he said to Grace.
"That's my job."
"That's odd. I would swear I hired you for R&D. Gossip seems such a waste of a post doctorate."
"Well, somebody's got to do it."
"I'd challenge that assertion if I didn't have anything else to do this morning."
"You'd lose," Grace laughed. "Oh, and out of curiosity, I checked with security… you know, after you asked me if anything strange had been reported?"
"Go on…"
"Well, apparently one of the Davids took a little stroll yesterday, out by the old dock. Nobody knows how it got down there, but Security caught it. Said there was something strange about it. 'Creepy' was the word he used, actually. Said it had a toy bear with it."
"Well, you know those Davids," Hobby said. "They can be quite willful."
David snickered into his hand. Hobby shushed him with a playful glare.
"I guess. Anyway, Marcus sent an Alfred down to pick the thing up. But it never showed. And now the Alfred is missing. Can't bring up its link either. It's almost like somebody blocked it, hmmm?"
"Hmm, indeed" Hobby said, smiling mischievously and gesturing at the Alfred, which was standing at silent attention in a corner. David covered his mouth to keep from laughing.
"Sounds pretty mysterious, alright," Hobby said. "Keep me posted on that, ok?"
"Alan!"
"Grace?"
"Don't play games with me, you scandal. The elevators last stop was your floor, where it was locked up for hours. What is going on up there?"
"Come on now, Grace. You know how temperamental elevators can be. They get tired. Up and down and up and down, all day. Everybody pushing their buttons."
"Well, aren't we in a clever mood this morning? Spill it, old man. A new David? An upgrade? I've heard rumors of a functional tertiary processing base! What gives?"
"Grace," Hobby said, "Have I ever kept anything from you… that you know of?"
"Alan!"
"You keep saying that."
"You are a pest!" Grace laughed. "Look, I know you're up to something. Just don't leave me out of the loop for too long. Ok? It's getting boring around here."
"You'll be the first to know," Hobby said, and slipped the phone back in his pocket. David let his laughter come and Hobby joined in.
"Won't be able to fool her for long," Hobby said. "She's sharp. One of the best." He became thoughtful, pensive. "Been with me from the beginning" he said, almost to himself. David took a sip of his orange juice, hoping the man wasn't going to start asking questions again. But it turned out he had something else on his mind.
"When I first embarked on the David… on you," Hobby said, "She asked me a question, one that I now see I did not give enough consideration." The man shifted uncomfortably, as if he were embarrassed by the memory. "She asked if a Mecha could truly love a human, did the human have any responsibility in return."
David put his glass down and leaned back. He could tell this was going to be an important discussion.
"And?" David said. Hobby picked up a fork and pushed his half eaten meal around on the plate.
"And I said something which was very arrogant, David, although I didn't see it that way at the time. I said that God had created Adam to love him."
David knew the story of Adam and Eve. It was part of an ancient religious text. There was a time when he would have been able to summon it from his memory banks. But now he only remembered the gist of it. Hobby continued.
"But we aren't Gods, David. We are Orga. The path of our history is riddled with good ideas gone wrong. Our pursuits are typically no better than our intents."
David chewed on this idea. He had been so busy trying to survive, that he hadn't had much time for this type of thinking. But here, with no one to run from, stomach full on the best meal he'd ever had, his mind began to ponder.
"What was your intent?" he said. Hobby seemed surprised by the question. He stumbled for a response.
"Well… I guess we were trying to push the boundaries. Simulating life has always been a dream of science. I wanted to create a robot that would learn to see the world through it's own internalized logic. Reason. Dreams. I admit that is a rather deific aspiration."
David wasn't sure that that meant, but he didn't want to interrupt.
"And of course there were monetary issues. We're a business, after all. We wanted to profit from a market ripe for exploitation. Maybe I moved too fast, didn't consider all the ramifications."
David placed his palms flat on the table, unconsciously announcing that he had something to say. Hobby noticed and grew quiet.
"I met a gang of kids in the forest," David said. "They were thieves and…" he paused a moment, but then decided to bare all. "And I helped them steal from people. Maybe I could say that I was trapped and had no choice, but they became my friends and I admit it was fun sometimes. Well most of the time, actually."
Hobby leaned back and crossed his arms. But there was no judgment in his eyes. David continued.
"Their leader was called Sy. He was a big man, and could get pretty mean sometimes. But, other times it was like he really cared about us. He never wanted anyone to get hurt and the rules he made seemed strict, but they were there to protect the group. He taught me a lot of bad stuff, illegal stuff. Tricks and scams. But he also taught me things I needed to know. Like, how to think fast, to be tough and defend myself. How to go after what I want."
David laughed. "No time for dallying, Pork Chop' he used to tell me."
"Pork Chop?" Hobby said.
David shrugged. "It's what they used to call me." Wizzy's teasing smirk came into his mind and an unexpected pang of nostalgia washed over him. "I might not have made it here without them."
"Yes, there are some precepts that are universal," Hobby said. "Good can come from bad, and both are often subjective."
David hummed as he digested the words. "A flower falls, even though we love it. A weed grows, even though we do not love it," he said.
Hobby nodded, impressed. "That has an eastern flavor. Something you learned from Hiro?"
"Chiyoko told me," David said. "It's the words of a man named Dogen. He lived a long time ago. But what I mean is that… maybe you were being selfish when you made me. But I am glad you did. I was happy when I was with Mommy. And she was happy too." Thinking of Her brought on a flood of emotion, and he fought it back. "It wasn't your fault Martin came home and…" He trailed off, not sure how to continue.
"Are you trying to say that you forgive me?" Hobby said.
"I am trying to say … I accept what happened now. And I just want to see what's next."
Hobby was visibly moved. He sat up straight and cleared his throat, dabbed at his eyes with his napkin.
"Well once again you surprise me," he said. "And I think I can predict what's in store for you." He pulled his phone from his pocket and thumbed out a code.
"Mr. Hobby?" said a male voice.
"Ariel, clear a passenger copter. No logo. I'll be traveling under the name Graham Holt," he looked warmly at David "... and son. Please keep everything off the log again, like last night. Meet us at my dock in … say about thirty minutes."
"10-4, sir."
Hobby rose and smiled down on his boy.
"Well, I am certainly happy we had a chance to talk things through," he said. "Now let's see what Alfred can dig up for you to wear to visit your Mother."
David's face lit up like a new days dawn.
3
The stone torch of the great sunken lady towered above the waters beneath them, then receded as they passed. Manhattan shrunk quickly behind. Then there was only the deep shifting blue, broken occasionally by the tip of a sunken building or the massive struts of a submerged suspension bridge. They passed a small strip of island, cluttered with abandoned ruins and surrounded by the anchored boats of drifters and scavengers. David thought he saw Hiro's boat among them, but Arial flew past so quickly he couldn't be sure.
He sat back and adjusted his jacket again. The dark suit wasn't very comfortable, and seemed a bit formal to him. It was designed for one of his Mecha brothers. He had grown a bit since his rebirth, so it was a little tight around the shoulders. But it was the best they could do for now.
"Dad… what's a breakdown?" he said. "I mean, I know what the word means, but what is it really? How does it happen?"
Hobby didn't answer at first. He pressed a button on his armrest.
"Ariel, you're going to have to loop around. We'll be coming in from the south so we won't attract any unwanted attention."
The Mecha in the cockpit beyond the glass partition raised a hand to signal ok. Hobby closed the connection and faced David.
"The mind is a complex thing," Hobby said, after a thoughtful pause. "Many of its core functions are still beyond our grasp. We can simulate what we understand and that creates a convincing facsimile of life. But, unlike many in my field, and even though I have accomplished much more than most, I have no illusion that I have stumbled onto the secret schematic of life."
"For all its complexity, the mind is also delicate. It even seems to be aware of that vulnerability and has built-in methods of self-defense. One of those defenses is called 'shock'. When something horrible happens, something too painful for the mind to accommodate, it simply quits interpreting reality. It still perceives light, sounds, physical stimuli, but only as simple data. There is no cognitive response. Just try talking to a person in shock and you will see what I mean.
"The same thing happens with extreme fellings, David." He shifted in his seat. "Monica feels a great sense of guilt and shame. It became too much for her mind and so she has withdrawn from the thoughts that bring her pain. She is still conscious. She can talk and relate to others. But she's wounded. Her wounds are mental, so they are not visible. But they hurt just the same."
David knew about the pain of lost love. He looked out of his window, so his Father wouldn't see his tears. They were passing over land now. Car filled streets criss-crossed between grids of shining buildings. Other aircraft zoomed back and forth at lower altitudes.
The new world, built upon the remains of the old.
"Tell me, David. What is love?"
The question took David off guard. But he knew the answer. His tears began to flow as he responded.
"Love is when you want to be with someone more than anything, ever… when her face is like sunlight in your brain and her voice is like beautiful music, and the only thing that matters is that you can be with her. For always."
"That's very poetic son, but…" Hobby paused a moment. "As a Mecha you were trapped in childhood. Through some miracle you have become flesh, and now you will grow into a man. I am going to ask you to start that growing now." His voice was gentle, but the words scared David. He wiped his face and turned to see an equally disturbing look in his Father's eyes.
"What do you mean," David said, softly, knowing that this was not going to be good.
"Do you truly love Monica?" Hobby said.
David couldn't keep his voice from cracking.
"More than anything!"
"More than yourself?" Hobby said. "More than your wants and desires?"
"Yes," David said quickly. "More than anything, ever!"
Hobby let out a satisfied sigh. "Good" he said and patted his son on the knee. "Don't worry, I am taking you to see her. And you will be allowed to be alone with her and talk to her." The man put his head down and spoke in slow measured tones. "But she will not see you, or hear you, David."
"Why?" David hadn't meant to yell, but the sound erupted from someplace deep inside, where he had no control of his emotions. "What's is wrong with her!"
"Nothing, nothing," Hobby said, reassuringly. "It's just that … she will be sleeping, son. She will not be aware of you."
David's eyes grew wide and imploring. It was Hobby's turn to look away. He gazed out his window as he explained.
"The Swintons signed an arbitration agreement when they accepted the prototype test. So Cybertronics cannot be held legally responsible for anything that happened as a result of your presence in their home. But when Monica broke down, we took on the expenses of her treatments anyway. It was the right thing to do.
"Her depressions are seasonal, David. They come on the anniversary of your disappearance and tend to last for months. During that time she can be erratic, manic, even suicidal. Since we're providing for her medical needs, we have logs on all her visits. That's how I knew about the most recent episode.
"Last week she snuck out of the house and went looking for you. Again. They found her two days later, sleeping in an abandoned building. She was dehydrated and suffering from exposure. Henry checked her into a psychological facility and that's where we're headed. I checked her roster and it shows she will be undergoing an experimental emotional trauma treatment today. Afterwards she will be sedated for a matter of hours."
He turned again to face David.
"And that's where you will meet her."
David closed his eyes and fell back into his seat. He was angry and didn't want his Father to see it. But Hobby understood what the boy was feeling. Betrayal. He would have felt the same way.
"David, you told me she meant more to you than anything, more than your own desire. And if that is true you must understand that she cannot see you. It would destroy her."
"It would heal her!" David screamed, bolting up in his seat. "She hates herself because she left me in the woods! But she had no choice! Henry made her do it! Martin made her do it!"
"No, David! No!" Hobby yelled back. "She hurts because she feels emotions that are not recognized. When a person loses a loved one, everybody allows for their mourning. But when the loved one is a Mecha, we don't recognize it as mourning. We see it as a psychosis. She's never been allowed to mourn, and the people around her don't help in their denial. For you to return now... like this?" He shook his head, sadly.
"Maybe someday, when she is stronger… and you understand the complex web of human emotions, then perhaps you can find a safe way to tell her who you are, and share your whole amazing story. But do you think she would even believe you?"
David wanted to yell, to scream, to kick at walls. But he could only sit back and cover his face.
Hobby waited for the boy to calm a little. "I am taking a great risk in setting this up for you," he said. " A great risk. Henry Swinton must never find out. You must be careful not to wake her, for she would not be able to understand."
Hobby leaned close to David then, and his voice was gentle and understanding.
"If you truly love her, David, then you know what you have to do."
4
David's eyes were dry by the time the copter descended to alight atop a large white structure. The doors slid open and he saw a smiling man waiting, hands thrust into the pockets of his lab coat. He knew that face. But he also knew it wasn't really his old friend.
"Welcome, Mr. Holt," the Angelo said, "Your arrangements have been seen to, sir," It then reached up to assist David out of the craft.
David unbuckled himself from his seat, and then turned to cast an apologetic look on his Father.
"I'm sorry for yelling at you," he said.
Hobby accepted the apology with a smile.
"I'll be waiting right here, son," he said.
Then he gestured to the passageway at the edge of the landing strip; the one that would lead David through the halls to the silent room where his mother was resting.
"Go now, David," he said. "Go to her. She's just now fallen asleep."
(cont…)