"Hi, Eleanore," Elliot let go of Olivia's hand and crouched down in front of his daughter with a smile on his face. He felt tears well up in his eyes, but he pushed them back. "I - uh- I got this for you." He croaked out. Olivia watched as their daughter slowly grabbed the gift from her father. It was wrapped up with a nice bow on top.
Olivia stared at them for a moment. She was trying to guage what their daughter was going to do next. Eleanore remained quiet with the present on her lap. Elliot looked up at Olivia and she gave him a reassuring smile. He turned back to their daughter and gave her his full attention. Her eyes were staring at the present not making a move to open it.
"Eleanore, do you want to open it to see what he got you?" Olivia asked. Eleanore looked up with a single tear streaming down her olive toned cheek. The four year old shook her head, tossed the box to the side, and then threw herself in her fathers arms. It broke Olivia's heart to hear her daughter sob into her fathers chest. Elliot wrapped her in his arms as tightly as he could without hurting her and stood up.
"Sshhh, it's okay baby girl. I'm here now," he whispered. His right hand moved to hold the back of her head as his left moved down to support her weight fully. Olivia felt her own tears begin to fall at the picture in front of her. Having her father with her was something Ellie had wanted since the day she understood what a father was. She heard stories about him from her four oldest siblings and her mom, but it wasn't the same as getting to experience memories of your own.
Elliot then removed the hand supporting his daughters head and held it out to Olivia to join the moment. She didn't fight it. She walked freely into his arm. Eleanore kept her grip on Elliot while Olivia wrapped her arms around the two most important people in her life. Olivia wasn't sure how long they had stayed like that.
Once Eleanore loosened her grip on Elliot the group hug ended. Olivia pulled away from the father daughter pair so she could witness them. It was there time to get to know each other. She was just the sense of familiarity Eleanore needed when things seemed to be to much for her. Olivia sat down on the couch and Elliot followed suit. He kept Eleanore on his lap though.
"Do you want to open your gift now?" Eleanore didn't say anything, just nodded her head up and down. Elliot wrapped his right arm around her while his left reached out for the gift she tossed. Once his left hand handed the gift to his right hand he let his left arm drop back around her so she wouldn't fall off his lap. Eleanore warily took the gift and peeled the paper off slowly.
"A box?" she questioned. He chuckled at the distaste in her voice.
"There is something in the box," Elliot stated softly. He was being so gentle with her. Olivia knew he was already ready to let her take over his world. Eleanore looked at her mother for reassurance in which she nodded. She didn't want Eleanore to be afraid of her dad. He truly was an amazing man. It was never his choice to stay away. Olivia knew that.
Eleanore slowly opened the box and gasped. "Mommy, I get to dress like Dora." The four year old began pulling out the costume piece by piece. She made sure her mom saw each part of the outfit.
"Oh wow, that is so cool Ellie Bug."
"Ellie Bug. Is that your nickname?" Elliot asked the four year old brunette.
"Only from Mommy," The four year old said with such viction that it took Elliot by surprise.
"So I can't call you Ellie Bug too?"
"No, only Mommy." Eleanore then began to wiggle in her fathers grasp. He loosened his hold on her and watched as she leaned her body towards her mom. Olivia took the little girl in her arms and held her close. Eleanore leaned into her mothers chest. Olivia was certain if the four year old was able to get any closer she would have.
"How about I just call you Eleanore for now?" Elliot questioned. Her blue eyes met his for a split second. He could see the debate running through those familiar eyes. She finally conceded by giving him a nod. Elliot watched as she leaned up towards her mother and whispered something in her ear. Olivia's look alike kept looking at him as if she were making sure he couldn't hear what she was saying. He watched as Olivia nodded and let their daughter climb off of her lap and disappear behind a door that he suspected led to her bedroom.
"How are you feeling?" Olivia asked him after they were alone. She let her hand fall easily on his thigh. If it wasn't for the excitement on meeting the daughter he didn't know he had he would have reacted a bit more to her touch.
"Do you think she likes me?" Elliot asked. He hated feeling so insecure, but she seemed so distant towards him. He didn't blame her. He was a stranger after all, but he felt so connected to her. He hated that he had missed so much of her life.
"Elliot, she is four and you got her a Dora costume. She loves you." Olivia could see the tension radiating off of his body so she scooted a bit closer. "Everything is going to be okay between the two of you. She just needs to get to know you." Elliot nodded but the distance was still there.
"I just feel so bad. I should have been there for her." Olivia grabbed both of his hands in hers and made sure she had his attention.
"By not being here you were there for her. You were there for me too. You protected us the only way you knew how. Eleanore is four years old. If you hadn't of left she might now have been born. She may not understand that now, but once she gets older she will and she will be so thankful for that sacrifice," She paushed. "Five years without you was a lot to bear, but I get it." She raised her eyes to meet his, "I love you, Elliot. So much. I know Eleanore will too. She just takes a little longer to warm up to somebody. She is a lot like you." Olivia laughed, "I am going to feel bad for the boy that ends up marrying her."
"She isn't getting married until she is at least 40." He smiled at her and she knew that she had broke through his fears. It wasn't a forever fix. She was sure he would be unsure about the relationship he and Eleanore shared until the little girl let him in fully. "What about you? How are you feeling?"
"It's weird. I still have to pinch myself because I can't believe that you are here," Olivia sighed and then tightened her grip on his hands. "I'm so happy though. All i've ever wanted is you." Elliot's heart broke for her. "A part of me doesn't want to believe that you are you and that you are back because that means I could risk losing you all over again. Elliot, I don't think I could handle that." He could see the fear in her eyes and all he wanted to do was melt it away. Tell her that she didn't have to worry about losing him again. He couldn't do that though. They both worked dangerous jobs. It put them in harms way everyday. He knew that once he was cleared he was going to go back to the job.
"I'm so sorry, Liv. I am so so sorry." He dropped her hands so that he could pull her into a tight embrace. He let her cry into his chest the same way he had let their daughter. He felt her body trembling and the guilt began to take over as he let his own tear fall. He had never meant to hurt her, but he had.
Once Olivia had collected herself she pulled back from his embrace. She used the back of her hands to wipe away the few stray tears she had left. The tears Elliot's shirt hadn't managed to absorb. "I'm going to go clean up really fast," she stated quickly. He wanted to stop her, but she was to fast. She removed her body away from his and disappeared behind a door different than the one their daughter had. A part of him knew he shouldn't have expected things to go back to the way they were before, but he would have been lying if he said that wasn't what he wanted.
It used to be so easy between the two of them. Something just clicked and it worked. Now it was confusing as hell. He knew she wanted him. She wanted their relationship back, but she was putting blockers up. He knew a part of it was for Eleanore, but he knew another part of it was fear.
"Hey, Liv," Elliot started. He stood up and he went to find his wife, but the door was shut. If it were five years ago he would've just opened it up without any reservations, but now he hesitated. This wasn't their apartment. It was hers and Eleanore's. He felt as if he didn't have a place here. This realization made him suck in a deep breath. It all felt like to much. He couldn't even imagine how much it was for Olivia. The guilt began weighing on him more and a part of him wanted to leave. Give them their space let them figure out what they wanted.
Olivia had said that he was it for her. She hadn't moved on since the day she found out he was 'gone'. But what if having him back was different. What if to much time had passed and their relationship was to far gone. All he wanted was her. Coming back home to her was the only thing that got him through his time away. But she never had that hope. She thought he was gone forever. Thought she buried him all that time ago. Now there he was in her apartment. The one she had only ever shared with their daughter.
Elliot had sat back down on the couch. He didn't want to impeach on Olivia's time. She seemed like she was in distress and when she was like that space was the key to calming her. He knew he owed her that and much much more.
"Here," a small voice said. He looked up to see Eleanore staring at him. She had a piece of paper in the hand she had stretched out towards him. He took the piece of paper and stared at it for a moment.
"Is that me?" Elliot asked. In his hand was a paper covered in scribbles. He was trying his hardest to decipher the picture but he wasn't sure if he was doing a good job.
"You, me, and mommy," she stated as she pointed to a different blob for each identification.
"Wow, you did such a good job, Eleanore." His heart melted when she beamed up at him proud of her picture. "Eleanore, I just want you to know I'm not going anywhere. I am here for you and your mommy. I love you both." Elliot knew she was young but he made it a point to stare directly in her blue orbs. He wanted her to hear her words.
"Where's mommy?" She asked as if she suddenly realized she wasn't with them. He watched as she began to scan the room for her mother.
"She went into that room over there," Eleanore seemed to be okay with that answer and turned her attention back on him.
"Where your hair?" Eleanore asked without hesitation. Elliot couldn't help but laugh at the random question. He let her run her fingers over his bald scalp. Elliot could tell that she was in deep thought because her tongue stuck out ever so slightly between her rosy lips.
"I cut it all off."
"Why?" The four year old dropped her hands back to her side and then stared at her father with so much concern on her features.
"Because I needed to change up my look for a little while."
"I kind of like it. You can't tell you have a receding hairline anymore." Elliot turned his attention to her with a look of surprise.
"I'm going to get you for that," he managed to laugh out. Olivia let an 'oh' slip out before she began to run. It wasn't long before he jumped up off of the couch and followed her. She managed to make it to the kitchen where the island separated them. "Why are you running, Liv. Are you scared?"
"I'm not scared of anything," Olivia stated playfully. Olivia didn't know how she was expecting it to end, but she wasn't expecting Elliot to climb over the center island in her kitchen. Elliot easily threw her over his shoulder.
"Ah, Elliot put me down," she squealed.
"Mommy, I'll save you." Eleanore ran over to her parents and tried to help rescue her mother. She threw little punches to Elliot's stomach and he did his best to pretend like they hurt him. All to please the little girl in-front of him. Elliot made sure Eleanore was out of the way before he tossed Olivia onto the couch. He turned to their child and picked her up. He tossed her down beside her mother and began tickling them both.
"Take it back."
"Never," Olivia forced out in between laughs. Her stomach was beginning to ache from the unfamiliar action.
"Take it back," he stated once more."
"Mommy, take back."
"Okay, okay. I take it back." Olivia forced out. As soon as the words were spoken he stopped. Each of the three members were out of breath as they tried to recover from their bit of fun.
"Again, again," Eleanore cheered only a few seconds later. Elliot collapsed on the floor beside the couch with a light chuckle. Olivia just laid in the same spot he threw her and took in deep breaths as she tried to calm her body. She smiled in amusement as Eleanore started jumping on the couch begging for another round.