Chapter 5

(This is a flashback chapter)

Once contracts were signed and Black Osiris was an official band ready to prosper in the promising world of the musical industry, Pegasus soon realized that, despite that the band's singer was very talented, he by no means had any sorts of social capability. Yami didn't know how to interact with people, didn't know what to say in an interview and, which became painfully clear on their first live concert as a supporting programme, could not handle stress. He acted awkwardly on stage, could not interact with his fans, and to top it off he sang off key. Fortunately, Pegasus had a quick solution to that: alcohol. And then everything just went downwards.

Yami was expected to drink at least two glasses of liquor before hitting the stage, and although he was quite reluctant since, according to his religion, he couldn't drink at all, he decided to bite the bullet and gulp it down every time, the admission only a small effort to guarantee their success as a band. And it actually helped. Yami got more relaxed on stage, but Pegasus wasn't entirely pleased yet. So he decided that Yami would take lessons from an expert on body language and speech therapy. That's when everything went completely wrong.

Yami could remember it like it happened yesterday. He sat in a chair in the middle of a dancing room, waiting for his tutor to show up, whom was exceptionally late but Yami had been in the businesses a few months now to know that wasn't out of the ordinary. He was waiting for a man named Duke Devlin, apparently a world-famous model known for his sex-appeal and one year even nominated as most handsome man of the year. He had rather an abundance of confidence that, in all honesty made his appearance perhaps more attractive, that is if you were into bad boys. Duke was definitely an example of a bad boy.

His crimson eyes looked up once the door opened, finally lifting a sound in the incredibly silent room where Yami had been waiting for more than half an hour. Inside walked a man with slender, long legs, gorgeous black hair that waved over his shoulders and tied together in a pony-tail. He appeared slender but still muscled enough and once he turned around, Yami fell head over heels for his beautiful emerald eyes with incredulously long eyelashes. He practically drowned in them, unaware that he had been staring for a full five minutes at this man whom had so casually walked into his life, a define smirk resting on his face as he paraded forth. Only by the way he walked, Yami could tell he was a fashion model of great experience, owning that trot like he was on the catwalk this very instant, grasping Yami in his power by the simple wiggling of his hips, one hand resting on them while the other brushed through his hair. Obviously, Duke was enjoying how the singer was checking him out, and it made him proud for all he was worth.

"Yo," Duke spoke, almost sang, startling the nineteen year old singer whom had been staring, so caught up that he had missed the approach on the model's behalf. A grin reappeared on his face while he lowered himself to come to eye-height with the singer, fluttering his eyes while checking him out and, what Yami could only describe as, approve of him, as if he ought him worthy enough to teach. Or fuck.

"Duke Devlin, nice to meet you." He said and held out his hand to shake it, but Yami knew all too well by the look of his winking eye that he'd much rather shake something else. He was baffled, dumbstruck and had fallen so hard he could not bring himself to speak. His face turned as red as his eyes, embarrassed by his timid personality but unable to overcome it. Their eyes connected in an all too apparent stare, tension suffocating in the room.

Yami didn't know he was about to screw this man that very same day, after Duke decided that he needed a drink to loosen up, and eventually getting too drunk to get back home himself, only to end up in bed with the man, ultimately losing his virginity in the process. He never told Duke that it had been his first time, he thought it wasn't necessary. Besides, he hadn't know what had overcome him. Duke had an odd effect on him that he could not describe, or perhaps it was just the fact that for once, people looked past his timid and awkward personality, deciding then and there that he and Yami were now a thing. And Yami didn't mind, he was okay with being labelled as now a boyfriend, because he liked Duke. Hell, after only two weeks he openly admitted that he loved him.

Yami was a big sucker for love.

However, after only a month of dating he soon realized Duke's alluring sex-appeal came at a cost, and that cost was drugs. Black Osiris had been well up the business, having scored their first concert as main act in a sold-out concert hall, in the middle of recording an album and asked by many tabloids and talk-shows. Their fame had grown so rapidly it was suffocating and afflicting for the band, constantly testing their relationship as friends with the necessary fighting and arguing. To top it off, Akefia absolutely despised Duke, and since he was pretty much Yami's big brother, became very protective over him. He knew Duke meant bad news, and he also knew Yami was very easily influenced and naive. It was only a matter of time before Duke'd pull him under with him.

Which was precisely the case. After a few months, a now steady music career and all the fame in the world, Yami snorted pretty much every gram of cocaine Duke offered him, so far that he even skipped concerts once in a while. It was Duke who had first acquainted him with the narcotics, he pretty much relied on them day in and day out because it made him feel less hungry, and models couldn't eat that much. But it was bad enough that he shoved it in Yami's face and practically convinced him to try it to an extent that he too got addicted to it. Yami also excessively began drinking, too much before a concert and too much before an interview. One time he showed up completely hammered on a live interview and the broadcast had to be shut down. It spread like wildfire in the media and reporters were hooked on the gossip, soon after entangling everything else about the most popular couple in America that was not meant for children's ears. Word got out how they went to clubs together, got waisted and took home girls to have three- or foursomes. Word got out how Yami sometimes drank so much until he passed out in the gutter. Word got out how Yami once threw up on stage due to an overdose of coke. After only a year of their success, the extravagant lifestyle of a rock-star was spit right back in their faces.

What they didn't know was how Yami had gotten dragged into it. How Duke practically forced him to do all of it, how Duke left him on the streets when passed out because he didn't care enough, how he fucked him in his sleep while Yami was on a high and too far away to even realize what was happening to him. He had fallen so hard for the man that he didn't even realize that Duke was abusing him, controlling him, toying with him. He knew how to play Yami, and Yami always lost because he was too blinded by love. Even when Duke started throwing glass bottles at him or punched him in the face, threw him over the kitchen table and then afterwards whispered in Yami's ear how sorry he was, how much he loved him and how it would never ever happen again, Yami was too blind. After all, he had known from the very first day that Duke would be the end of him.

It was during one particular night, when the band's recording had been put on hold due to 'personal circumstances', although everyone pretty much knew it was because of Yami's mental condition, that things had gotten out of hand. Akefia and Malik tried calling him but he never picked up because Yami thought he perfectly knew what he was doing, and he loved Duke and Duke loved him and everything was lovely dovely. They went clubbing again, waisted, again, influenced by drugs as well. Yami's head was spinning but he paid it no mind, instead he focused on the task at hand and searched for Duke in the flock of people. He tended to get anxious when he was left alone in the club, which Duke did an awful lot even though he knew Yami didn't like it. Nervously, he evaded himself through the crowd to find his boyfriend who was leaning over a girl and offering her a drink while giving her the same seductive treatment he used on Yami when he wanted to fuck again. Duke had an impressive stamina and even more impressive libido. It was apparent that he was diagnosed with hyper-sexuality which made it sometimes really difficult for Yami to please him during their love-making, especially because he always wanted to top and was particularly rough during sex, going at it for hours, demanding it almost every day. It was for that sole reason that Yami had agreed on their open relationship, because he couldn't keep up with it anymore.

"Found you," Yami giggled and wrapped his arms around his love, almost tripping over in the process, hugging Duke tightly who responded to the affection with a lingering kiss. The girl watched nervously as the couple began making out, not really understanding how he had been so openly flirting with her while his boyfriend was here as well.

"Is he your... boyfriend?" she asked hesitantly, pointing at the drunk mess laying over Duke's shoulder and swinging right and left to try and match with the rhythm of the music in an awful attempt. "Wait a minute, isn't that –"

"If he were, would it bother you?"

Cut short in her question, the girl pulled her eyes from the singer she now most definitely recognized as the main singer from Black Osiris, to look at the model in front of her, a poisonous grin on his face. There was little left to the imagination with the stare she received from the man in front of her, he made it pretty obvious that he would still take her home even if he had a boyfriend. Duke noticed the sudden doubt on the girl's face and shifted to a different tactic, deciding to act more kindly in order to get in her pants. Yami was way too drunk to properly fuck tonight anyway.

"We have an open relationship, so, if you're still up for it, I'd still love to spend the night with you."

As the girl pondered over the offer, Duke grinned. He knew he had won, it was just a matter of time now. Too busy with winning the girl over, he was blind to Yami having hit the floor and was now passed out leaning against the wall, almost falling asleep. While she looked down to gaze at the singer, Duke cupped her chin and drew her attention back to him, false eyes glazing at her to lure her in.

"Come on gorgeous, you can bring a friend if that makes you feel any more comfortable."

That seemed to peek her interest. She hopped away, wrestling through the crowd in her mini-skirt, off to find her friend. While he waited, Duke ducked down and shook Yami's arm to wake him up, the singer begrudgingly opening his eyes. He groaned, his head throbbing erratically before he saw Duke crouched down next to him. "Come on handsome, we're leaving," he grinned and picked him up from the floor. Yami silently complied as he scurried his way to his feet, taking advantage of the support Duke gave him as they strolled to the exit, not noticing the two girls that had by then joined them. He was feeling nauseous and just wanted to go home, or maybe have another drink. He wasn't sure yet.

"There you go," Duke smiled and tugged Yami in the limo. Sprawled on the leather cushions, Yami crawled his way in with all the concentration he could muster. When he finally reached his seat, he flung himself on the spot and immediately opened the mini-fridge below the small table, digging out a bottle of champagne.

At the front his chauffeur, Ahmed, a Moroccan man of age and somewhat a father-figure to Yami, nudged his mirror to look at the afflicted damage of his entourage, sighing deeply when he witnessed the state the singer was in again.

"Mr. Sennen, maybe you shouldn't –"

"To the mansion, Ahmed." Duke immediately intervened before the man could make any remark, earning a vicious glare from the driver but pointedly ignoring him. He was rather occupied with the two girls whom had seated themselves next to him and were openly flirting with the model.

What happened after that was easy enough to guess. In haphazardly drunken states, the foursome popped open another bottle of champagne and turned the living room into an all-out open party. There was flirting, stripping and making out. Soon after, things advanced to the bedroom. Still half-drunk, Yami was rather reluctant when he was sobering up slightly and started noticing that Duke became overbearing, almost aggressive. What Duke hadn't anticipated however, was Yami's awareness returning to its original state. Over the following hours, Yami had decided that he didn't really agree with Duke's boorish attitude as he came to realize one of the girls was close to tears due to his excessive pushing. He meddled into the act, calling Duke out for the way he acted and getting him off the girl who ran away as soon as she was able to, followed by her friend. Whatever it was that he had demanded from her, Yami had earned it double fold that night.

Of course he was happy when the police barged into the room, even if he was as naked as the day he was born. Not having noticed how the girls had left the room when Duke started taking everything out on Yami for starting an argument, the model had been too distracted to consider any of them going to such extremes as to call the police. It seemed Yami's screaming was loud enough to even make sluts worry.

They pushed Duke off of Yami, blood dripping from his scratched wrists, easily enough connecting the dots. Yami's body was blue and battered, shrunk together and trembling, not hearing any voices, no concerned ones and not the one shouting which he recognized as the man that he loved. He was ignorant to the policemen struggling to get Duke out of their room and escort him to the combo, imminent on letting him spend a night at the station. He sobbed silently, face dug in the rug on the floor, hiding his tears from the other policemen, understanding that they would help, wishing they would just look away. He was embarrassed and yet needed help now more than ever. Everything ached and yet what hurt most was his heart.

After a good hour of calming him down, diagnosing him with a state of shock, a policewoman convinced him to take him to the hospital for a check-up. He did ever so hesitantly, taking slow steps while his head was still filled with doubts, ignoring the concerned looks from the girls he had practically saved from their enigma. He wanted to be alone more than ever now. He secretly hoped he would die in the hospital.

Apart from two broken ribs, some serious bruises and an easily fixed internal bleeding, the doctors informed them that Yami had come off better than expected. Akefia scoffed eerily when hearing this remark, thinking otherwise. His mind was fixed solely on crushing every bone in Duke's perfect body. Malik was mostly the one who would listen when they explained which medicines to take at what time and for how long. Yami usually remained motionless staring into his own lap, worrying Malik more with each passing minute. It looked as if life had been sucked right out of him.

The months after the ordeal were hard, to say it lightly. For Yami, they were draining what little value of life he had left. He had lost a lover that night, one that, despite everything he had done to him, he still deemed as the love of his life. He would often retreat himself in his room, thinking that he had deserved the bad treatment, that maybe he had been the problem in the relationship. Days were good when he woke up not feeling like killing himself. Then he would sometimes consider, after much prying on Akefia's behalf, that perhaps it had been Duke's improper treatment after all.

After much pushing and convincing, Yami was ready to file a complaint, even if it was more Akefia doing all the enthusiastic filing than Yami. The Egyptian was beaming on destroying the model's career, accepting that Yami would never aspire the thought. He realized this was a huge step from where Yami had come from, and he wanted to be there for him when his foot would finally land. The three brothers reunited again as a band, putting their career on hold to support Yami as much as they could.

Duke understood that no matter what weak-hearted bullshit he would spout at court, he would never win this case. So he did something drastic, intent on sinking Yami deeper.

About a week after the complaint was filed, Yami woke up on a Wednesday afternoon, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. When looking at the clock he noticed it was again past 4 in the afternoon. This had been his sleeping pattern for the last two months, failing to fall asleep properly, finally doing so at six in the morning, and then waking up in the afternoon, preferably after dark. He slept many hours of which most never felt enough, withdrawing himself in bed on most occasions to simply survive another day. If it weren't for Akefia or Malik passing by with some take-in he'd probably skip many meals too. His friends often force-fed him because he was turning unhealthily skinny, and it would only be a matter of time before he would collapse again due to overexertion. The desire to get up was little again today, but he forced himself out of bed nonetheless, bothered by how ugly he looked and felt due to staying in bed for three days at a row, thinking he might need a shower this once. Groggily, he sauntered to the living room, hoping he still had some tea stored somewhere deep in his storage cabin. The sleep left him rather quickly however, when he saw a full team of his band, consisting of Akefia, Malik and their manager, Pegasus, joined by his lawyer with a handful of papers unusually disorganized in front of them. They all turned at him, the room eerily silent as if he had interrupted a conversation, only feeling less sought-after in his own home.

"We let ourselves in, didn't want to wake you." Akefia announced, his voice so soft that it made Yami look up. Everything in this picture was out of character. Why was everyone looking at him as if his grandmother had just died?

"What's wrong?" He managed to say, uncomfortable by the sad staring directed at him. He curved his neck downwards, avoiding any eye contact, feeling even uglier than he had anticipated earlier, wishing he would just get a heart attack.

"Something happened," Pegasus announced solemnly. Akefia turned at him with a scowl as if they had gone over this before, but Pegasus didn't play by the rules after all. He grumbled, looking away as Pegasus continued. "Do you have any knowledge of filming during… lovemaking?"

That last word rolled out with so much disdain Yami shrunk visibly at the spot. Digging his nails in his own skin while hugging himself in such a forlorn matter, then Akefia cracked in only a second by the look of terror on Yami's face. If he had been looking like shit the last few days, then this had to be even worse.

The entire room fell silent, looking apologetically at Yami, whom had resorted to gluing his eyes to the ground by the inability of looking anyone in the eyes. No, he had never done that, he lacked enough confidence as it is, why would he ever agree to filming something so… private, if he hadn't even ever liked the way his own body looked? Only now he remembered how dry his throat was from all the sleeping, swallowing down a lump as if it were scraping paper. Were they going to keep looking at him? What did they even take him for?

"No." Yami answered solemnly, hesitation evident in his voice, then again he hadn't really sounded any confident at all lately. Akefia looked away in disdain, Malik uncomfortably biting his lip, and Pegasus simply sighing while he reached for his forehead, waiting for the lawyer to write this down. Yami shivered. This was bad, right? How bad was it?

"What did he do?" Yami managed to ask, voice cracking, tears by now slowly starting to shed and dripping on the fuzzy carpet of his penthouse. He didn't want to hear any of it, and yet he did. He would be strong. He would endure.

After taking a deep breath, eying the other band member suspiciously but noticing that neither would reciprocate, Pegasus decided to take matters into his own hands. "There is… a video that appeared on social media, but we don't know where it came from. If it is any condolence, we managed to already take down – "

"What is it?" Yami looked up, blurting out the sentence through his tears, ignoring how his voice was spilling with irrational emotions that he couldn't supress any longer. "What's the video?! Show me!"

Akefia closed his eyes, wishing the despair in Yami's voice away. This was hard for him to witness, even if Yami was the victim of this matter. He hadn't been able to protect him after all, he had done a miserable job keeping his promise to Akili.

"I don't think you should see it, Yami," Malik continued, but Yami's patience grew weary, turning into aggression. "I don't care! Show me, now!"

Sighing heavily, Malik pretended not to hear any of it as Yami stormed to the laptop resting on the coffee table. It seemed no one was going to stop him, but perhaps it was also Yami's fullest right to see the video himself. They could only be so afraid of the consequences.

Yami watched with tight lips, finally finding the video himself in one of his lawyer's evidence files, not waiting on anyone to accompany him. He didn't even want to start thinking about them having seen it too. While pushing the play-button, his face turned appalled by whatever view he was presented with. This wasn't a sex video, this was fucking humiliating! This was him being filmed by Duke while he was fucking him, his face conveniently left out and his voice changed as well. The arms on his hair stood up as he witnessed the state he was in: he looked horrible, drunk, perhaps even overdosed, unaware of everything. Duke had been filming him in his weakest moment, when he hadn't even been aware of it… He couldn't remember any of this!

Clicking the video shut after a full 30 seconds, Yami closed the laptop with a loud snap. The sound of his moaning voice in the video stopped filling the icy cold room, everyone intentionally avoiding eye contact of any kind. How was he supposed to react to this? Duke had broken him in any way possible, and now he had even taken the liberty of humiliating him in front of his own fans. That was it, he wanted to drop dead, he wanted to slit his own throat, jump off a cliff, shoot his own head, drown himself in the bathtub, anything… anything.

Lunging out of the sofa, Yami made a hasty attempt to run to his own room and lock himself up for good, but found himself pushed back.

Akefia stood before him with eyes ready to murder, his hands scraping at Yami's shoulders as he held him steady. "We're going to fix this!" He growled, ignoring Yami's struck face and even Malik's discerned one. "We're going to destroy him, got it?! We're not giving up Yami, you deserve better! We're going to drag him to prison and pay extra to get his ass raped over there, got it?! We're going to suck dry all of his precious money until he's living under a bridge, got it?! I'll skin him alive, hell, I'll make a jacket out of it for you, but we're NOT giving up, got it?!"

Frozen in his seat, Yami stared intently at the hate-bearing eyes in front of him, Akefia slightly panting and trembling with rage. The room went silent again, and then suddenly… Yami broke down in tears, falling forward and caught by his best friend who held him steadily, practically crushing him to death. He wouldn't let go of him, he'd remain by his side, even if he had to spend every second with Yami to ensure he wouldn't give up this fight, he'd be there.

The months after the video had been leaked to the media had been agonizing, but slowly Yami managed to drag himself out of his bed due to his friends. Akefia had implied on multiple occasions that it would do him good to call his mother, but the singer would always flat out refuse, overbearing that he had left behind his miserable life in Egypt and that, even if he would, his mother probably wouldn't want to have anything to do with him. Rolling his eyes excessively at the repetitive remark, Akefia pretended not to know that Atem was in truth afraid of calling her due to a fear of being rejected, something that he hadn't done ever since coming to America. Perhaps it was his biggest regret up till now, but he knew better than to remind his mother of the failed son she had raised. It was better if they didn't talk at all for that matter, he'd only hurt her even more.

They began an all-out public fight in court where Yami would testify, along with a few other people whom Duke had slept with and were willing to, against the model in the hopes of winning the case. Yami combined rehab with a depleting amount of time spend with lawyers. The only thing that kept him going were the considerable amounts of fan mail he received every day, countless of people supporting him in his case and situation. He would spend hours just reading over them on the floor with happy tears in his eyes while he in truth hired people to do that for him. After about six months, he was greeted back fairly on a talk show where he openly spoke about his relationship to the media for the first time. It had taken a great deal of courage, but he figured he would have to come out with this story in order for his credibility to remain and to set an example for those who might find themselves in the same ordeal. So he had spent an entire afternoon with Akefia by his side, planning out every last word he wanted to say about it. The interview had gotten so big that more and more people started coming out with their own respective stories of abusive relationships and how it was so easily shied away. Eventually, Yami decided to support a campaign that had been manifested after the interview where people could tell their story out in the open for others to hear. More and more, he would go out again, trying to take things easy, but it truth, that was hard. A year after the incident, Duke had been spoken out as free, having come off with a large amount of bail to pay which in his eyes was pocket change. Despite the many protests, Duke had won the case. There was too little evidence of his active interference in any of it, no proof captured on camera or written form, only witnesses and their stories.

Yami had lost the case. He continued performing though, but he didn't enjoy it that much anymore. Thinking that he was terrible on stage, you could noticeably see the insecurity and fail that came with it, constantly forgetting lines, not reaching high notes, barely moving on stage… He was losing not only this case but also himself, and he realized that Duke had broken him in more than one way.

It took only two months for him to return to his previous solution: alcohol. And he would drink the whole bottle if it meant forgetting about his own identity.