For the rest of their ride, everyone had been wary that there would be more titan encounters. But fortunately, there were none. When the sun had begun to set, she had caught herself on the verge of being optimistic.
And once they reached the old ruin that would serve as their accommodation for the night, everyone finally dared to relax.
She dropped her bag down on the dusty floor and sat down next to Hange to eat her ration.
"What do you think, Toni?" Hange asked her with shining eyes.
"About what?" she asked, although she knew exactly what the brunette was referring to.
"Them!", she gestured dramatically towards the trio who was, once again, sitting isolated in one corner of the room.
"I guess they are pretty good" Antonia replied.
"Pretty good? You have to be kidding me, they are incredible" Hange looked at her as if she was crazy.
"But that won't help us." Emma slid down next to her and leaned against the wall. "I doubt they will help us with improving our training."
Antonia wondered when Emma whose brown eyes had once sparkled with mischief and hope had become as resigned as she felt.
"What are you talking about? Of course they'll help us! You'll see!"
They both watched Hange get up and approach the trio.
"Up for a bet? I say they'll off her." Emma muttered dryly.
Antonia felt the side of her mouth twitch upwards. Maybe, a strong sense of humour never fully vanished and simply adapted itself to any given situation, no matter how horrendous.
"They wouldn't dare."
"Let's see about that…"
Neither of them looked amused when Hange sat down between Isabel and Furlan, not obeying any unwritten law about respecting personal space and obviously making them uncomfortable.
The conversation seemed to be extremely one-sided and Hange looked as if she did not notice. But Antonia knew better.
Hange had seated herself opposite to Levi who was obviously the leader of the other two and chose to sit in close proximity to his friends, making it almost impossible to physically exclude her without being overly rude.
The approving smile on her face never swayed and was aimed to gain their trust.
Antonia was sure that she was heaping praise on them.
Everything about her screamed harmless.
Her comrade was the most cunning person she had ever met.
At one point, something Hange said caused the trio to look around the room. Antonia flinched inwardly. Everyone had been staring shamelessly at them once her comrade had walked towards them. Moreover, all the conversation in the room had died minutes ago.
Antonia wasn't quick enough to lower her gaze and her eyes briefly met the cold orbs of Levi before she inspected her boots.
It wasn't long until Hange had unpacked a bag of sweets and started sharing them with Isabel.
That's low, Antonia thought.
And efficient. She tried to supress her amusement when she saw Isabelle devour the cookies.
But apparently, it was not enough to get through to Levi and Furlan. She snorted. Would have surprised me if Levi had a sweet tooth.
When Hange returned to them, she seemed rather happy with herself.
"So, will they help us?" Emma asked.
"Not yet, but they will eventually."
"And what makes you so sure of that?"
"Well, I've just become friends with Isabel and Furlan. Levi will come around." Hange grinned.
Emma sighed in disappointment.
"I'll go and see what Ben's up to. See you guys later."
Antonia watched her get up and leave the room. She wondered how Emma had managed to preserve her capability for empathy.
She did not know how to comfort people anymore. After all, every single one of them was inconsolable and reliant on their coping mechanisms. The mere idea of telling Ben that she was sorry for his loss made her feel ridiculous.
"It's good that you took a step towards them, Hange."
Antonia regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. She liked to avoid conversations that could get personal. And usually, she made sure to think before speaking. Her fingers nervously moved upwards in order to fiddle with her necklace.
"Huh? What do you mean, Toni?" The brunette looked clueless.
"Well, no one else did and… that was not fair. We excluded them right from the start." She sincerely wanted to bite off her tongue and avoided her comrade's eyes.
"Ooouh, Toni! You are not so cold after all, I knew you had a good heart!" Once again, Hange's eyes were shiny again.
"I mean, we need to make use of their skills if we want to kill titans more efficiently. It's important to be on good terms with them." She tried to rectify her mistake.
Her comrade grinned at her in a way that was unnerving her.
"I'll try to get some rest. Good night, Hange." Antonia got up and turned around to start unpacking her bag.
"Sure! Good night, Toni."
When Antonia woke up the next morning, she noticed that she had actually rested well. In addition, she realised that she hadn't had any nightmares which was a rare thing, especially when she had to spend a night outside of the walls.
Yet, she hadn't slept long and it would still take some time until sunrise. She envied people like Hange who could sleep for ten hours or more. The last time she had gotten a full eight hours of sleep must have been when she was still a child.
She slowly peeled herself out of the blanket, trying to not wake anyone that was sleeping close-by, and tiptoed out of the room to wash herself.
Once she felt refreshed, she decided to stroll around the former castle.
It was funny how peaceful the world beyond the wall could be as long as the sun wasn't up. She decided to climb up the stairs to the old tower which, while it definitely must have seen better days, still looked reasonably stable.
This was the part she loved about her disturbed relationship with sleep. When she got up so early, the titans were inactive and she could get an impression of an endless width and a taste of the freedom she and her comrades were longing for. To her, it was a precious illusion she very much enjoyed indulging in.
When she had reached the top of the stairs, she froze.
Apparently, she was not the only early bird.
It was the first time she was alone with any of them and she cursed every entity she could think of that it had to be Levi.
She was almost sure that she could have handled Isabel. And maybe she would have even enjoyed talking to Furlan. But Levi simply seemed to possess an utterly insufferable personality.
He had turned around and watched her with his usual expressionless face.
Much to her delight, Antonia noticed that she was taller than him. Not excessively, but still to a satisfactory extent.
Hard for you to make me feel small.
She also stood close enough to notice that his eyes were a cold grey. It seemed rather fitting.
It didn't appear like he would make any attempt to converse with her and she honestly did not really feel like trying, either.
On the other hand, she did not want things to get awkward.
"I wanted to have a look at the landscape without having to watch my back." She refrained from greeting him or introducing herself. While he wasn't looking at her like she was a waste of space right now, she still did not see herself exchanging pleasantries with him anytime soon.
"I see." He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms.
Well, having someone watch her while she tried to enjoy the view would definitely spoil the experience, but he showed no sign of leaving anytime soon.
She decided that she would choose awkward over the embarrassment of leaving herself after having announced her intention.
So she moved to the other side of the tower and tried to forget that she wasn't alone while she looked at the endless dark blue in front of her. But it was no use, she felt him watching her and, with a sigh, she turned around.
He spoke before she could open her mouth.
"You're friends with Hange." It didn't sound like a question.
She hesitated briefly. "No, not really."
I really try not to be, she thought.
His facial expression did not give much away, but she caught his eyes narrowing ever so slightly for a split-second.
"But she is a good person. You don't have to be so wary of her."
She was starting to feel annoyed by his poker face. It seemed about time to leave.
She turned around and walked back towards the staircase. Before she made her way down, she decided to pull herself together once more and forced herself to say something nice.
"The three of you did well yesterday."
She did not wait for a reply
Author's Note: Thank you guys for your supportive reviews! SilverThornz: That's not stalkerish at all, I am very happy that you enjoy the story so far! I'd love to write longer chapters, but it's actually rather hard for me - although I am not really sure why - it might be a lack of descriptive vocabulary. It also might be sheer laziness. Either way, it's something I'd like to improve. :)