Soon, far too soon, things went back to normal.

The first couple of days after, everything had been more quiet than usual. Conversations were held in lower voices and died down whenever someone who had experienced loss this time got close. It was rare that Antonia had heard someone laugh, and if she did, the laughter seemed to get stuck in their throat once the sound had made it to the ears of the person who had let it lose – as if they deemed it inappropriate for the occasion that was their life.

But, being in the military comprised a routine.

Sometimes, it could be considered a curse, for instance, when it came to getting up early and falling asleep with every inch of one's body hurting after endless hours of straining exercise.

Sometimes, it could be considered a blessing. Training like there was no tomorrow steeled their bodies and ensured that they felt strong and capable.

With all the afters she had gone through in her time at the scouts, Antonia felt that the routine was what kept her going. As long as her days was structured and she knew what was coming next, she would not succumb to grief.

It was a grey morning and the earth below their feet was a muddy mess that seemed to be willing to devour them. Their boots sank deeply into the moist ground and felt heavier than usual.

Ben, Emma and Hange walked next to her, the latter's white pants were already soiled by the mud towards the training fields. Their tired silence was only disturbed by the squelching sounds of their steps.

With her eyes fixated on the ground and her mind focused on ignoring the undignified sound that accompanied them, Antonia noticed quite late that her squad leader was accompanied by a much smaller person.

Next to Erwin's broad and tall frame stood Levi.

She tried to find traces of grief on the soldier's face, but, as usual, his expression gave nothing away. Moreover, the tension she had once sensed between the two men apparently had dispersed. While Levi looked nowhere near to happy about being where he was, he did not seem to mind the blonde man's company.

This time, she was quick enough to look away shortly before she felt his eyes on her and focused her attention on her squad leader instead.

As always, Erwin did not take much time to come straight to the point.

"Due to our late casualties, we will have to reorganize our squads in the next couple of weeks. I will let you know once I know more about that. For now, Levi will join our training because of his performance in the last excursion."

Next to her, Hange squealed in excitement shamelessly. Emma's and Ben's eyes had lit up and even Antonia had to admit that she felt slightly excited.

They all had heard rumours about his performance in the last excursion. Apparently, he had gone completely berserk and slaughtered an ungodly number of titans. There had been rather heated discussions about the exact number, but Antonia was sure that while he surely had not killed a hundred, like Ben had been told, he might have killed at least ten, like Emma said.

If he was even remotely pleased by their reaction to the announcement, Levi did not show it.

What he did show them though was that he had ridiculously high demands.

After no more than two hours, they were on the brink of collapsing with exhaustion.

Yet, he continued to shoo them through the forest for round after round, asking them to fulfil a variety of complex somersaults and sharp curves. He made them dodge several objects he threw at them tirelessly and later had them tackle and dodge each other in a rather twisted version of hide and seek.

Their breaths created little clouds in front of their faces and, despite the cold air, there were endless streams of sweat running down their temples and necks.

Soon enough, Antonia was sure that Levi did not know the concept of mercy. And from what she could tell from their facial expressions, her comrades also doubted that the man had an ounce of empathy in his heart.

If Erwin had been in his place, Antonia was sure that they would have dared to oppose the strict training regime and told him to cut them some slack. But somehow, they were far more intimidated by the small soldier than by their squad leader.

Erwin had the type of charisma that might have enabled him to sell sawdust to a lumber mill in another life. His presence signalled a well-balanced combination of professionalism and incorruptible trustworthiness.

Antonia could not really pinpoint what it was about Levi that kept them in check. Maybe it was simply the fact that he had performed outstandingly, to put it in Erwin's words. Maybe it was the indifference on his face and in his voice that made it seem crystal clear that he would not care if they complained.

When she felt on the brink of throwing up due to the exhaustion, they were finally allowed to stop.

"You can take a break." Despite the bored tone in which they were expressed, Antonia had rarely been happier to hear these words.

She and the rest of her squad dropped to the ground unceremoniously.

As she turned her head to the side, she saw Hange, Emma and Ben grin happily while they were still trying to catch their breath.

She looked up to Levi and briefly met his eyes. They seemed a bit less cold than usual.

He seems more comfortable when he can tell people what to do. Charming, she thought dryly and supressed a smile.

Yet, her amusement did not last for long and was quickly replaced by what she would describe as inappropriate curiosity.

She wondered how well he was coping with the death of his friends.

A second later, he broke eye contact and walked towards Erwin who had been watching the spectacle from a distance.

They were more than glad to hear that they had the rest of the day off and would continue their training with Levi tomorrow. Apparently, Erwin wanted to use the rest of the day to pick the man's brain for some strategic ideas and later have him torture Miche's squad.

On the way back to the headquarters, their feet seemed to sink less deeply into the sodden soil and the sounds the soles of their boots made whenever they lost their contact with the mud were drowned out by her comrade's loud, cheerful voices.

"I am never gonna be able to move again" Hange proclaimed with a content grin.

"I thought he'd let us roll around in the mud forever" Ben complained happily.

"I really hate him" Emma said exaltedly and then rolled her eyes and Antonia.

"Come on, I was kidding. Stop being so sensitive"

"I didn't say anythi-"

And when Emma gave her a shoulder nudge, Antonia found herself smiling.

"You actually are right, he's terrible."

Over the course of the next weeks, their training seemed to get more challenging every day. Levi was the most merciless drill sergeant she ever encountered, but she still appreciated him.

Her performance with the ODM gear had improved drastically and for that, she gladly endured feeling sore all over her body and having to listen to the orders of the most robotic person she had ever met.

They had rather quickly discovered that Levi was not one to mince matters. His analytical gaze did not miss any of their short comings and he exposed them with a sharp tongue.

"You're useless in combat if you hold the hilt in such a vice-grip. Apply less pressure and your movements will become less shitty."

Antonia watched Ben bite his lower lip, apparently unhappy with the attribute that Levi had assigned to his combat skills. She dared to spare her team mate a comforting smile and watched him work up a half-hearted grin.

If Levi had sensed Ben's unhappiness, he didn't seem fazed by it. Instead, he continued to walk pass Hange and Emma who both seemed rather relieved that that, today, he had nothing to comment on their performance.

Antonia felt the urge to sigh when he stopped in front of her. While she knew she needed every feedback she could get and that she was in dire need of improvement, she still did not enjoy listening to her deficiencies. On the other hand, no one really did.

She could not remember the last time she had trained so hard – and so efficiently. It was not like she and the others needed to hear any compliments to be swayed into keeping their efforts up, but any form of acknowledgement would have been thrilling, nonetheless.

Probably not the best place to look for praise. She thought dryly as she looked at Levi's indifferent face.

Antonia noticed that the circles under his eyes had become slightly darker since the last time she had really looked at him and suddenly, she wondered how old he was.

He can't be much older than I am.

She pushed the thought aside. It really didn't matter.

"You are cautious, but you lack initiative. When you fought Hange, you were able to anticipate and evade most of her attacks, but you let most opportunities to get at her pass."

Antonia nodded. He was right. She was quick to react, but reluctant to, well, act. During their hand to hand combat session, Hange had offered her plenty of openings due to her rather impulsive style, yet Antonia had only tried to take advantage of them twice.

"Were you trying to tire her out?"

She wasn't really sure what held her back, and she definitely did not want to try and verbalise it in an incoherent stutter that would make her look foolish in front of him and her comrades.

"Yes." She lied without blinking.

She could feel him looking at her face and decided to meet his eyes with the most honest expression she could muster up.

"I see."

When he turned around and started to take off his omni-directional mobility gear, Antonia felt her heart sink for the slightest bit.

Once he faced her again, her suspicions were confirmed.

"Fight me."

Oh shit.

Antonia was not so self-conscious about her combat skills. During her time in the training corps, she had performed decently, despite not being particularly strong. Instead, she had relied on being fast and knowing how to throw someone twice her size over her shoulder. Plus, in theory, she knew where it hurt the most. But she had never applied this knowledge practically.

It just wasn't necessary to be good in hand to hand combat. It had not been taken into account when it came to picking the crème de la crème of the trainees and it actually was quite useless when it came to killing titans. And killing titans what was she had signed up for, not for beating people up.

She had focused on learning how to use the gear, how to hold a blade, and how to get close enough to a titan to slice its neck because these were the practical skills that mattered.

Antonia avoided fights, both verbal and physical, and fared rather well with her evasion tactics in both cases.

She doubted that her technique would do her any good with this opponent, though. No matter how fast she was, he would be faster. And somehow, she was sure that he'd know where it hurt much better than she did. But there was no way to get out of this.

When Levi took one step towards her, she simultaneously took one back. This seemed hardly like the time to work on her initiative.

She studied his face. He did not look at her menacingly. But despite his blank expression, or perhaps because of his blank expression, she felt very much threatened. She fondly remembered the times when it had simply annoyed her.

For several seconds, they appeared to do some sort of ridiculous dance in which she tried her best to keep the initial distance while equally trying to embrace the ridiculousness of acting like a pantomime.

She wondered how long it would take for him to grow tired of her evasive approach.

In what seemed to be the nothing more than the split of a second, Antonia got her answer. It took all of her self-restrain to not cry out in pain when she felt his boot meeting her left side. While he had kicked her at the level of her kidneys, it somehow knocked the air out of her lungs.

Instead of making a sound, she bit her lip and tried to take advantage of the opening that he had just offered to her. Almost immediately, she reached for his ankle in order to give it a strong pull. She would have loved to simply flip him over, to feel the satisfaction upon proving that she did not need to beat anyone up to win a fight.

But her attempt proved futile. Before she could even reach his ankle, he was already building up the momentum for another kick.

How can anyone be this fast?

This time, she jumped aside and avoided receiving another kick.

He did not grant her any time to celebrate her small triumph but came right at her again. This time, she had no chance of dodging the attack and could only place her arms in front of her torso to protect it from his blow.

It was a fiasco, it was painful, and it was definitely not going to get better anytime soon. Antonia felt powerless and weak. She rarely evaded a kick or punch and her lower arms were two pieces of throbbing pain. She considered curling up into a ball, but she was sure that while her body would recover from today's beating, her pride would not if she gave in now.

It did not take long for Antonia to realise that Levi was probably holding back more than just a bit. The realization left a bitter taste inside of her mouth.

Unlike her, he did not seem to tire out and soon, she was so exhausted that she gave up on trying to evade his attacks and instead settled for doing her best to block most of them.

"I'd say it's about time you attack me."

He either sounded bored or annoyed. With her blood ringing in her ears, Antonia could not really tell. Nor did she care much. What she did care about was that she was panting like she had just spent the whole day running laps whereas he did not seem fazed by the physical exercise of beating her up in any way.

She took a deep breath in. She really did not want to. But she also really wanted this little happening to end.

With the air leaving her lungs, she dashed forward, aiming straight for his throat. Although he had refrained from hitting either her face or anything vital, she decided that she did not need to be this honourable.

Her chances of success were as low as she had calculated. But when he slapped her arm away, Antonia managed to grab his wrist once it collided with her lower arm, and, in a swift motion, turned around to finally flip him over her shoulder.

She grinned in triumph.

But before she could bend over to send him flying, she felt his free arm pressed against her neck, obstructing the air flow, and froze immediately. She quickly let go of his wrist.

"Finally." Antonia could hear him mutter lowly behind her, surprisingly close to her ear. Suddenly, she became uncomfortably aware that she had maneuvered herself into a position where her back was pushed against his body.

One second later, she felt the pressure of his lower arm disappear from her throat and, shortly after, he took a step back.

Relief flooded her once she realized that it was over. She was not sure how much more of a beating she could have endured in dignity. She decided that she would find a place where she could cry in peace later.

Antonia turned around to look at his face, expecting to be criticized.

His grey eyes rested on hers shortly. "Not bad."

She blinked in surprise.

Apparently, he did not expect a reply from her. Unceremoniously, he turned around to Ben, Emma, and Hange.

"Good work, everyone."

When Antonia saw their faces light up, she felt the corner of her mouth curl upwards. All of them knew that this was the best they would get from him.

"We are finished here."

Without further ado, he left. Once he was out of earshot, Hange grinned at her proudly.

"That was awesome, Toni!"

She looked at her comrade in disbelief. "You mean the way I got my ass kicked?"

"She means the way you managed throw him off-balance" Ben chimed in.

"Well, it wasn't very successful…" she tried to put a damper on their enthusiasm. He underestimated me and I got lucky. That's it.

"You don't have to be so modest about it, we've all heard how many titans he slaughtered on the last mission. Lasting a minute against that is something to be proud of and you managed to stand your ground even longer." Emma offered.

She sighed. Antonia knew that it was well-meant, and she was far too tired for a discussion that would only make her appear petty.

Lately, she had noticed a shift in their group's attitude. While the training brought all of them to their limits, it also gave them the feeling that maybe next time, they would be better equipped to fighting titans. As a result, everyone seemed less on edge and less cynical to her.

While she wasn't sure if it was wise to welcome this change, she still could not stop herself from loosening up ever so slightly.

She smiled at the three of them warmly.

"Thank you, guys. I'm heading off to shower. See you later!"

Author's note: Thank you for the comments and follows! :)