Author's note: Since chapter 8 was rather short, I decided to do a double-update :)
Panic made her ears ring.
Antonia wondered if it had been a terrible mistake to allow herself to sway away from her abundantly learned pessimism and hopelessness. Maybe, the situation would have been less unbearable if she had never thought that they stood a chance.
She was not sure if the universe was simply testing or mocking everything the scouts had accomplished during the last couple of months.
On the other hand, she did not really have the time to dwell on that question. While her mind still felt sharp, her body felt weird.
Her hands that were holding on to Liam's reins felt weirdly numb. So did her tongue and her face. Her teeth which she was grinding together for some reason felt like they were tingling and as if they were about to fall out.
In front of her, she saw Hange's tall back. To her right, Ben was riding on his bright brown horse whose name she had forgotten. Fear was evident on his pale freckled face as he clung to his horse as if his life depended on it.
Antonia thought that it probably did. If they weren't fast enough, they were dead. She hoped that Emma was still right behind her, but somehow, she could not command her head to turn around so she could glance over her shoulder.
Commander Shadis had commanded all of the remaining squads to make their way to the forest so they could make use of their ODM gear.
Apparently, the forward scouts on the other side of the formation had been surprised and overrun by several titans that had managed to draw a deep gash into the formation and crashed two of the supply carts.
It was like every threat that they had managed to evade so far was coming at them at once.
Antonia wasn't even sure if the formation was still even remotely intact. What she could say for sure was that the distance between the squads had been drastically reduced. Shadis and Erwin were now within sight.
"Squad Hange, guard the carts!" Antonia mused that for the first time, Hange probably was not happy about being addressed by the commander, but she saw her salute with proud, straight shoulders, nonetheless.
When Hange turned around to take in whatever was happening behind him, her face showed no fear. Yet, Antonia did not feel encouraged in any way when she told them to slow down.
"We have to let these three carts pass!"
Finally, Antonia forced herself to turn around. In the corner of her eye, she saw Emma's dark curls and the lump in her throat became less prominent and almost swallowable.
She tried to focus on the task at hand and tried to not look at the giant figures that were far too close behind the wagons. The three carts were close-by – it would roughly take thirty seconds for them to pass by if her squad kept going at this speed. Much less, if they slowed down a bit more. But she sincerely hoped that Hange would not tell them to do so.
Antonia started counting.
After eight seconds, one cart had run past them.
After fourteen seconds, she could see the horses that were pulling the second one next to her.
After seventeen seconds, she heard harrowing screaming.
This time, she instinctively threw a glance back and only came to regret it later.
A titan had plucked the soldier from the third cart like a child would pluck a flower from a field and slowly moved his body towards its mouth. Antonia noticed that her hands were trembling excessively now. She gripped the reigns tighter.
There isn't enough time. We can't save him.
She closed her eyes until she could no longer hear him and felt ashamed.
Her heart sank even further as she contemplated their options. Without anyone guiding it, it would be impossible to save that wagon. The startled horses pulling it were already straying from the intended course.
She looked towards Hange questioningly. The brunette hesitated for two quick heartbeats before announcing her decision.
"We leave that one be-"
"Retrieve the supply cart!" Antonia wondered if Shadis' yell had just sealed their fate.
She exchanged a look with the rest of her squad and saw the fear on their shocked faces transform into bitter determination.
"Ben and Emma, you take care of that 10-metre beauty over there. Toni and I will have a go at this one here." Hange's eyes seemed to burn with resolve as she looked at the 16-metre titan who had just devoured one of their comrades.
For a second, Antonia's eyes rested on the backs of her comrades as they approached the smaller titan and she somehow felt glad that it was closer to the rest of the formation and the forest.
They had a chance of making it. If they played it smart, they might be able to lead it into the woods and finish it with their ODM gear.
"Let's go, Toni! I'll get to him from the right, you'll take the left."
She felt less optimistic for Hange and herself. Especially, since Hange's plan sounded as if she was barely hoping that one of them would make it.
Antonia wondered if there was anything that caused her more dread than the thought of fighting titans out in the open. There were no trees or houses for them to use their omni-directional gear on. In this case, they were equally reliant on luck and skill.
The titan was visibly confused that two people were drawing closer at it at once and kept looking from one side to the other, undecided which human it would like to devour first. She prayed that it was not an abnormal.
Antonia removed her feet from the stirrups and carefully climbed on top of Liam's saddle once she was in line with the titan. After making sure that Hange was in position on the opposite side, she drew her blades and breathed out a shuddering breath before aiming at the giant's shoulder and shooting herself into the air.
Everything around her seemed to move so much slower than it usually did and suddenly, she felt strangely calm. When she saw the titan's hand reach for her torso, she cut its fingertips off before it could touch her and felt almost elegant as she landed on its shoulder.
Quickly, she shot a grapple hook into the back of its head and reeled herself into a position that would enable her to cut its neck.
When she heard Hange's muffled scream, she forced herself to not look towards the source. Instead, she hurried to finish the task at hand and soon felt herself spattered by the unnaturally hot blood emitting from the wound she had inflicted on the titan's neck.
As the titan slowly slumped down, Antonia hurried to stand on its head.
What happened to Hange?
When her frantic eyes could not see her comrade, she felt nausea rising up in her stomach.
She has to be here. There was no time for the titan to-
Antonia was painfully aware of the other titans drawing closer. Plus, a side glance showed her that Emma and Ben still hadn't finished their target. She was running out of time. She had to find Hange now.
Her vision got obstructed by the steam coming out of the titan's body. She whistled for Liam, praying that he was still near - and had not suddenly decided that he would rather live his life as a free horse.
Suddenly, she heard a cough and immediately turned her head towards its source. One of the titan's hands was encircled around green fabric. Hange.
She's alive.
Antonia sprinted towards her and tried to help her out of its skeletal grip.
"Are you okay, Hange?"
"Yes, I think it only broke my arm", the brunette sounded almost light-hearted, "good work, Toni!"
Under different circumstances, she would have shaken her head at the woman's demeanour. But there were other things to worry about.
"I'll get you on that wagon. Then you can rest a bit" She knew that the latter was probably a big fat lie, but she felt like she had to say something reassuring.
As she turned around to look how far the supply cart had gotten away, she heard the sound of hooves trampling on the ground.
We can make it, she thought as she watched Liam galop closer to them.
With two grown women on him, Liam was slightly slower than usual, and Antonia could not help feeling a pang of guilt for putting him through this mess. If she made it out of this alive, she would try to buy some juicy red apples for him.
Their goal wasn't too far away. The horses which had fled from the titans in panic seemed to have calmed down enough to go at a slower pace. Once they had reached the cart, Hange should be able to reach the formation without encountering further threats.
But while Antonia could stop worrying about Hange, she had no idea where Emma and Ben were which increasingly unsettled her.
"I got this from here. Will you get the others and catch up?"
Antonia nodded and watched the tall woman jump onto the coachman's box and once again turned around.
She could see three more titans closer than she would have liked, but none of them was the 10-metre class one Emma and Ben had taken on. The only logical explanation for that would be that her comrades had succeeded to lead said titan into the woods within the last few minutes.
If she went for the area they had most likely gone to, she would have to keep a close eye on the titans behind her who were most likely to follow her instead of the rest of the formation. She snorted. Leading the titans away from the important remains of the survey corps would have seemed heroic to her - if only she was not headed for the rest of her squad.
But not looking for her squad was out of the question for more than one reason. The one that mattered most to her was that she could not abandon them. Because no matter how much she wanted to deny it, they meant something to her.
And their excessive training must have meant something, too.
Antonia took a deep breath before encouraging Liam to gallop as fast as he could.
No more dead friends.