Thank you, Game Freak, for bringing this stupid joke back from the dead.
They met with Hop at Bob's Your Uncle restaurant, which was a ridiculous name in Victor's opinion. This was not anything he cared to say out loud, as Gloria squinted at the menu as if she had once again forgotten that she had something to correct her vision.
Or, and the boys knew this to happen occasionally, she had forgotten where she'd put them.
"Please tell me you didn't leave your glasses somewhere again," Victor complained, and Gloria flinched.
"I have a few ideas where they might be," she said sheepishly. "They might be in my bag. Or where I last made dirt curry. Or lost in the underground of the Gym."
The boys both groaned. Sonia stared at her for a moment, putting the pieces together.
"You...lost your glasses?"
"She does that often," Hop explained, as Gloria gave an embarrassed smile. "That's why she needs the seeing-eye lizard."
"Ace hasn't led me anywhere recently," Gloria objected, "and I can see you and Victor just fine."
This was where Hattie escaped her ball, smelling the delicious human food and wondering, briefly, if it was a new kind of dirt curry. Coming face-to-face with a Centiskorch, she immediately turned around and hid in the human huddle.
Sonia and Hop glanced down at the shiny, and they both decided to pay it no mind. "I don't suppose you've heard more about the Darkest Day and the heroes of Galar?" Sonia asked, and the teenagers all shook their heads in unison. Hattie sat down on Gloria's shoe. "I didn't think so, but it was worth asking. What about the sword and shield Pokémon?"
"The ones behind the mural in Stow-on-Side?" Hop asked. "What do they have to do with anything?"
"They have the sword and the shield," Sonia explained. "But that's as far as I can find. I've hit a dead end in my research, but Gran won't let me give up and go home to shove crisps in my face."
"Well, she doesn't want you to be a mooch," Hop pointed out. "But if we're on the subject, I think one of those statues -"
"Isn't that the tapestry from Hammerlocke's vault?" Victor interrupted, pointing behind her. Hop gave him a confused look, but Victor quickly shook his head before the words 'forest gods' could be spoken. Luckily, his distraction worked, and Sonia turned to look.
"Why didn't I notice that?" she mumbled to herself, and then turned to the man behind the counter. "Where did you find that tapestry?"
"At an antique shop," he answered immediately. "Why do you ask?"
Sonia turned back to the tapestry. "The heroes look sad," she observed, "and the sword and shield...they're gone."
Victor squinted at the tapestry. "Is that the end of the legend, then?"
"It could be." Sonia studied the edge of the tapestry, where it looked like something had been torn off. "The sword and shield could have been sealed away, or gone into a deep sleep..."
"You don't think they died?" Hop sounded worried about Pokémon he'd never met and had possibly died long before his grandparents were ever born. "The sword and shield were Pokémon, weren't they?"
"It's a possibility," Sonia admitted. "But it's equally possible that they're still out there, merely sealed away – you've heard of legendary Pokémon from other regions, haven't you? The ones worshiped as gods in ancient times?"
Hop stared at the tapestry. Then he made the connection that Victor had made when he studied the statues - that the sword and shield Pokémon might in fact be forest gods.
"Victor," he said slowly, "do you think that…the Pokémon we met that day…"
"Don't say it," Victor hissed. "Don't even think it!"
Hop didn't say it. Gloria, on the other hand, did.
"You mean that 'mad Pokémon' you were on about when Leon and I dragged you out of the Slumbering Weald?"
Victor facepalmed. Hop nodded enthusiastically. Sonia turned to the kids, eyes wide.
"Gran told me all sorts of legends," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "She talked about the history of Galar, the mad king of Kalos, the forest gods. If you think you met the sword or shield Pokémon…" She jumped up and clapped her hands in glee. "Then the Pokémon must be the forest gods!"
Victor groaned and banged his head on the wall. Unfortunately, it was just hard enough to hurt as much as possible without knocking him out. Hattie remained unconcerned, and attempted to shoplift a berry from behind the counter.
After they ate, the group made it to the Hero's Bath hot spring, where they immediately let out Ace and Drednaw to play in the water. Ace took a moment to dig Gloria's glasses out of her bag and hand them to her, but she refused to put them on, using the steam of the hot spring as an excuse. She did keep them in her hand, however, and he kept glancing over to make sure she didn't put them down.
Sonia told the story as they were watching the Water-types. "They say that this is the place where the heroes of the legend came to heal their wounds after the battle long ago."
"That settles it, then," said Victor, taking his eyes off his tortoise for a moment. "The sword and shield Pokémon aren't forest gods. There's no forest around here, and if they were staying with the heroes…"
"It's a bit hard to say when they were sealed away," Sonia replied, half-teasing. "But who knows if they'll return. In the meantime, you can be heroes yourselves."
"Like in the legends? With the sword and the shield? Pull the other one," said Hop, and Sonia laughed out loud.
"Well, it's a fact that you need to be the best you can be," she said simply. "There needs to be good people in every generation, to keep the world from imploding. It's going down the loo anyway, but it's best to try to slow it down."
Hop thought it over, then grinned. "That sounds nice, actually," he said, looking over at his best friends. "The undefeatable Champion Hop, with his sword and shield, and his greatest allies Victor and Gloria!"
"Try Champion Victor," Victor shot back playfully, "and his greatest allies Hop and Gloria."
"Whichever," Hop said with a chuckle. "But if you want to try to beat me again..."
"I've already beaten you several times, it'll just be sad at this point."
"Or maybe I'll turn things around."
Victor looked over at Gloria. Gloria looked just as unimpressed as he was. "Are you sure?" Hop picked a Pokeball as his only response. Victor shrugged. "Fine. Drednaw, get over here and help me fight!"
It didn't take long before Victor had defeated Hop yet again. Hop seemed to have accepted this.
"I hope I don't go up against you in the finals, Victor," he said with a forced smile. "Might be best if I battle the one who beats you. I might actually win that one."
"You might," Victor agreed, keeping his silent doubts to himself.
"Either way," said Sonia, "even the unbeatable Leon will have trouble dealing with you two."
Hop was a bit too quiet. "I'll go and challenge Gordie again," he decided. "What about you lot?"
"I'm going to check things out in the Slumbering Weald," Sonia announced.
"Probably head to the next Gym," Victor said.
"Keep Victor alive," Gloria finished.
"Then it's settled!" Sonia bounced in excitement again. "We all have goals! Let's go and meet them!"
"The problem is that I don't know where the next Gym is," Victor protested, and Gloria cackled maniacally.
"It's on your map," she pointed out. "It's just getting there that's the problem. Heard the route's covered in water."
"You might have to pay for a boat ticket, then," Victor cackled, and bolted when Gloria put her glasses away to make a snowball to toss at his face.
Victor: Dash (Cinderace) Corviknight, Drednaw, Excadrill, Axew
Gloria: Ace (Inteleon) Dishwasher (Galarian Linoone) Rogue (Thievul) Hattie (Hatenna) Harry (Morgrem) Stabitha (Pawniard)