Disclaimer: Still don't own any of Grey's. Still not a native speaker.

We are often not aware of things that are happening around us because we are so busy. When we then get pulled into awareness it can either be a beautiful thing or the worst we have ever experienced. We might suddenly notice the beautiful tree we pass by every day or maybe the little boy playing on the street with a big smile on his face greeting us every morning. But sometimes we might also become aware of all the bad things around us. All the poverty and pain people are experiencing and all the injustice around us.

-Meredith Grey

"Okay Meredith," Dr. Härtl said, "judging by your scans and the physical exam we performed, I think we are good to take you into surgery tomorrow. I am just going to stop the sedation of your legs so that we'll be able to know how much sensation you have regained yet. However, I still don't want you to move and I must warn you that it might be very uncomfortable and even painful. If you need any more pain medication be sure to page a nurse. I'll check in on you in a few hours and see how you're doing."

"Thanks Dr. Härtl" Meredith said.

"You're welcome," he replied leaving the room.

"I'll finally be able to stand again," Meredith gave Derek a look full of joy.

"What is the first thing you want to do, when this is over?" Derek asked.

"I want to walk around our land and stand in surgery all day," Meredith replied, "then I want to spent the night with you in our bed doing what we always do."

"Well maybe I can give you a little teaser for the later one," Derek told her with a smirk on his face.

"Oh no, not in the hospital," she chuckled pushing him back into the chair.

The next time Dr. Härtl checked in on Meredith it was about 6pm and she was fully high on morphine.

"Huhu Dr. Harpy," she said waving at him.

"I see they gave her the good stuff," he laughed at Derek.

"They most certainly did," Derek replied.

"Judging by the amount of morphine they gave her, she must have been in a lot of pain?" Dr. Härtl asked Derek.

"Yes, she was. She almost started to cramp again," he told him stroking Mer's hair as she looked at him like a little child.

"Okay, but that's good, that probably means she has regained most of her sensation," Dr. Härtl scribbled something into her chart. "As soon as my intern arrives we'll do some further examination."

Just in that moment Dr. Williams came running into the room breathlessly saying: "I'm sorry Dr. Härtl, there were some problems."

"If you could just place the electrodes along her legs and spine," The spinal surgeon instructed ignoring the apology. The intern did as he was told and Dr. Härtl asked him what else needed to be done.

"Since we are going to send little electronic shocks through her body, that could lead to her moving, we must make sure that she doesn't do so too much, so I suggest that we strap her down for this procedure as specially since she is only semi-aware of what is going on around her," the intern said. He had also noticed that Meredith was a bit high.

"That's right, go ahead," Dr. Härtl told him.

As they proceeded Meredith flinched once in a while but other than that she seemed totally fine.

When they were finished Dr. Härtl asked the intern: "Dr. Williams can you tell us what our results mean?"

"It seems as if Dr. Grey has regained almost all of the sensation in her legs, I think…" he was interrupted by Meredith stating: "I'm Dr. Grey, my mother was also Dr. Grey, but she is dead now." She chuckled.

"That's right, I think that we can take you to surgery tomorrow morning, so it is good that you have stopped nutrition already." The intern continued a bit mixed up by Meredith comment.

"Good, tomorrow morning we'll take a last set of scans and then I don't see why we can't operate. So I'll book an OR. Any questions Derek?" Dr. Härtl asked him purposefully ignoring Meredith.

"I don't think so, see you tomorrow," Derek replied.

"See you tomorrow," He took his things. When he was half way through the door he heard Meredith yelling after him: "Good Night Härtly!"

"Good Night Meredith," he chuckled and closed the door.

The next morning Meredith was still a bit high. When she was in the CT scanner she asked all kinds of weird questions like: "Is this a space ship?", "What planet are we visiting?", "Has the world turned? Because I'm vertical!" She'll definitely be embarrassed to hear about them, when she is of the heavy drugs.

Later that morning Dr. Williams and a few nurses came and pushed Mer's bed towards the operating room.

"This is as far as you can go Dr. Shepherd, we'll keep you updated."

"Okay," Derek replied now looking down onto Meredith, "I Love you, see you later."

"Me too, see you," Meredith said rubbing her nose. Derek gave her one last kiss on to the forehead and then she was gone.

"Ready?" Dr. Härtl asked approaching the operating table.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Meredith replied smiling.

"Okay, then please count back from ten for me," the anesthesiologist said placing the mask over her face.

"Ten, nine, eight…" and then she was asleep.

After they had intubated her, they carefully turned her around and then strapped her down on the table.

"Let's do this," Dr. Härtl said to no one in particular, took the scalpel and slit it down her back.

Half way into the surgery, Dr. Härtl was just about to place another metal plate, when he felt some light movement. "Dr. Monroe, what's going on?!" He yelled at the anesthesiologist.

"I don't know. I am trying to fix it," he replied with the same level of loudness.

Meredith was now almost fully awake and starting to choke and therefor also shake. The terror in her eyes was so visible, you almost got the feeling she was yelling at you.

"Someone, please hold her down, she cannot move!" Dr. Härtl went to Meredith head and knelt down next to her "Meredith I need you to stay as calm as possible. Everything will be already, hang in there." He tried to calm her. She was still utterly terrified and slightly shaking, so he tried again: "You're going to be alright, we're doing our best. Just try to stay still. Everything will be all right."

AN

Here's another chapter actually finished it on Tuesday already but I wanted to get back to a regular schedule. For the future should I try and post regularly again or just upload as soon as I'm done with a chapter? I'd probably try to post on Fridays again. Thanks a lot, to everyone who reviewed on the last chapter. It really means a lot to me. Special thanks to Patsy and Leann Nickerson for your continues support. Almost finished with the next chapter already, reviews are always very motivating. Also, don't forget to favor and follow if you haven't done so yet.