A/N: She-ra and the Princess of power were made by J. Michael Straczynski and Larry DiTillio, I only take credit for my own added character's and storylines. Similarly, any references will be attributed to their original creators when they pop up.
Recommended story: A Picture's Worth A Thousand Words, But All My Pictures of You Are Torn to Shreds. by AkariHope
Alternative ending to season 3 where the universe changes to a much more familiar one... only that Catra spends her whole life remembering someone she knows she's never met. And then they do. There are some hints of post-season 3, but few actually remember. I also love DT here, even if they barely make an appearance.
BTW, I also have an A03 account where I'm also publishing, if you prefer reading it there~.
Enjoy!
Book I: Of Shard & Concept
Chapter 10 ~ Build it Warmer
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Content Warning! Implied depression, BPD, suicidal thoughts and other similar themes (if you squint you eyes). If any of the above is something you are not comfortable with, then you might want to skip this fic.
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Scorpia, why?
Catra… might have miscalculated.
Not something she particularly enjoyed admitting. Even less experiencing, but-
Catra might have gravely miscalculated.
The thing is-, well, between Scorpia and Entrapta, Scorpia had seemed like the one that would enjoy socialising and less likely to run off, but-
"Oh! I haven't been here in months! I'll find you later, they don't sell much flour in this season!"
I- Scorpia, wai-!
Kodiak smiles, leading her away from the main door as they walk into the town. "Well then," His smile grows, leading her towards one of the smaller houses. "Would you care for some tea?"
"Is it not to your liking?" The lady -Kodiak had called her Waitress? Though the context had seemed off- asked worriedly.
"Oh." Catra blinks, quickly masking a smile. "It's lovely, very..." She has no idea what she's drinking. "...different from what I'm used to."
It seems to be the right answer, since the woman smiles, quickly offering a slight bow before walking towards another side of the house.
"Still," she continues once she knows the woman is out of hearing range. "Kind of weird to dedicate an entire house to drinking…"
"Ho? I suppose it would be for your generation. Back in my day, entire streets were filled with cafes and the like." He sighs, sounding oddly melodramatic. "Nowadays, the Horde's economy is entirely focused on military and resources. A shame, truly."
And just like that, Catra feels her spine tense as she bites back a whimper. With practised ease, she forces herself to lean into her hand with a smile. "Oh? Not happy with my work, Force Captain?"
...that sounded like a threat.
...Oh. Oh no. No, no, no. Urgh, please pick up on the teasing.
Catra almost sags in relief when he laughs warmly, placing his cup down with a grin. "Hardly. You've done more in the past two and a half months than Shadow Waver did in decades. I'm rather proud of how much you have done already, Commander."
...Huh... well... "Thank you." She's not about to turn down a compliment.
Never let it be said that flattery won't get one anywhere with her. That'd be a lie.
"I'm hoping everything was up to standard. I realise we might take some liberties here and there, but for the most part, our soldiers do keep the standard expected."
"Better than most, you mean," She replies dryly, slumping as she remembers the 'standards' most of the Horde settled for.
She's torn between surprise and sympathy when the man lets out a snort. "Ah, well, even during my prime, the standards tended to fluctuate from acceptable to... not. You'll learn to cope with it."
"Doubt it." She mutters.
"Which reminds me," He takes a sip of his tea. "I heard you were working in the academy. I took the liberty to send some files from back when I attended. It might help to cross-reference from another perspective."
"Thank you." She sighs in relief. "That'll definitely help. At this point, we're practically building it from the ground up."
"These things happen." He nods sympathetically, reaching for his pocket as he reaches for circular metal-like objects. "Currency, " He explains, noticing her curious glance. "It's used as a medium of exchange. It dropped out of use with the Horde's unification of territories, but I saw no reason to follow suit."
"Huh." She reaches for one of the offered items. "They use numerical values?"
"Yes, though the item's value changes depending from one person to the next." His lips twitch, offering her a small pouch as he leans into his chair. "Want to try?"
"...Try?"
"Why yes, they're quite a few shops in this town since it's the capital. You'd be surprised how much managing assets can teach."
Catra raises an eyebrow, quickly counting the contents before closing the pouch. "You're sure? It is your currency, after all."
"Quite." He waves away, "I'm hardly at a shortage."
"Not to mention, people aren't exactly comfortable talking to me on good days, let alone civilians."
"Ah," He smiles, "But not that many people have a face for the name, do they?"
Catra blinks, eyes darting towards the woman who is happily talking to another drinking happy person in thought.
She always had... stigma, she supposes is the best way to say it. The thought of not having it, it's... oddly like...
"Sure." She shrugs, standing as she pockets the pouch and reaches her half cloak. "If nothing else, It'll prove to be interesting."
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Kyle suppressed the urge to sigh, finishing another pile of paper as he went over possible teachers.
Of course, when word had started to get out that he intended to replace two-thirds of them, they'd started to laze around. Something along the lines of 'why should I bother if we know we are out?' mentality.
Pointed threats of Beast island had changed that tune rather fast.
Which… was surprisingly fun. Well, fun might not be the right word he was looking for. Satisfying, maybe?
It's not like he'd forgotten how half of them had gleefully abused their position years, or even months ago.
He knew that personally, actually.
As he goes through another pile, the door opens, and Kyle suppressed letting out another groan as he looked up.
And then he freezes.
"...Kyle," Lonnie greets quietly.
"Good morning, Lonnie," He returns softly.
"So… instructor Kyle," She offers, shifting slightly as she leans on the wall, arms crossed in a familiar picture of defensiveness.
"Yeah… that happened." He snorts, thinking about the past few -insane- weeks.
"Are you having fun?"
"You know? I actually am." Kyle smiles slightly, somewhat surprised by his own admission.
"...and Catra didn't talk you into it?" Lonnie asks, voice traced with... something.
"It's Catra." He snorts. "When doesn't she talk us into madness?"
"Nah," She smirks, "only you get talked into these things." That... wasn't true. At all. Kyle still remembered the fire incident. "Okay. She didn't force you into it?"
"She didn't," he assures her. "You really should talk to her, Lonnie. I think you both would be able to sort... well, I think you'd both get along now."
"Ha, yeah, no. That boat sailed years ago."
"...We both know that isn't true." For one, Adora isn't in between either of you to cause arguments, he considers, suddenly feeling her raised eyebrow, Kyle sighs. "Don't look at me like that, just… think about it? Please?"
"Thinking. Thought. Done. Huh, still a no," She drawls, rolling her eyes in expiration. "More importantly," She continued with a grimace, "you've been making enemies. Lots of enemies. The hell, Kyle?"
Kyle reaches for the noise jamming box from under the table, discretely switching the power on as he leans back into his chair. "Look, I couldn't make this work without making enemies."
"For what?" She scowls. "I'll give you that Catra's reputation is… marginally better. I'm even willing to admit she's not as much of a pain now that she isn't obsessing over her," Now it was becoming hypocritical, Kyle knew. "But she's throwing you to the princesses, blood starved princesses."
"...Do you think I'm not capable of doing it?"
"I-, that isn't the issue here."
"It is, actually. Do you think I'll mess this up?" He continues, meeting her gaze pointedly.
"...Okay, no, I don't. Still not the issue."
"You're right. The issue was that when we fell apart, someone should have stepped in and done something." He nodded, remembering the many records he's gone through of what was expected of the teachers before the Horde. "Preferably in stopping us from falling apart."
"That was years ago." She clicks her tongue.
"Yes. It was also our squad years. Half of our life, to be more accurate."
"I wasn't the one that cut us off," She counters with a hiss, shoulders tensing defensively.
"You weren't the first one, true. But you followed suit."
"That wasn't-"
Kyle slammed his fist into the table, finally feeling his anger slip. "The hell it wasn't. Catra might have been the one that started this. Might have even been justified since it was when Shadow Weaver started to really have an issue with her. But you all followed suit."
"I-"
"No. Adora did the same because she would never not listen to Shadow Weaver. Always 'we're a team' until Shadow Waver said anything. You remember that, don't you? But where were you and Rogelio? When was the last time I spoke to you and Rogelio? The last time I've seen you and Rogelio?"
"…" Her mouth opens, as if ready to retort, perhaps in her usual blaise self or perhaps with a hurtful insult. Surprisingly, it's neither, her mouth closes with a snap as she stares at him with a gaze he feels might be lost.
She stares stunned, guiltily, even. And perhaps before, Kyle would have dropped it here, would have let bygones be bygones, but…
Now isn't before.
"The issue here isn't that you're worried Catra is throwing me to the princesses," He counters, years of frustration and fear finally reaching the edge. "I don't even think that you actually believe that she'd do that. Thing is, Lonnie… When Catra asked me to do this, she definitely talked me into doing this. But I was willing to take it because it was the first time any of my squadmates had talked to me in weeks, not because of any trust - or lack of trust. And you know what? I don't regret it. Because for the first time in years, someone in my team is actually trying again."
For a long moment, nothing but silence and the soft humming of the building fills the room. For a moment she stares blankly, and Kyle barely catches the reflection of something before she closes them entirely.
And then Lonnie's jaw tightens, offering a tense nod as she swiftly walks out the door, a soft click closing behind her.
Kyle buries his head into his arms, leaning into the table already knowing he won't get any more work done today.
Mostly because he's fairly certain that it's the first time he's made Lonnie cry.
He sends another message to Cobalt. With any luck, he'll have some advice on dealing with… this.
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Credit where credit was due, Scorpia was aware enough to fidget.
"So...er-, have you been having fun?"
Scorpia's fidgeting quickens as Catra's own glare grows.
"Ah… say, look at the bright side! They gave me ten kilos of flour for the price of seven! And it's freshly made, too!"
Catra huffs, reluctantly impressed. "Your ability to manipulate the man was impressive," She concedes.
"Haggled!" Scorpia corrects with a squeak, wide-eyed at being called on her manipulation.
"Uh-huh. You spent ten minutes convincing him to sell it for two-thirds of its price. That sounds like manipulation to me."
"I-, what? No! Everyone was expecting me to haggle, it's not manipulating!"
"Of course," Catra nods, nodding even if she knows otherwise. If Scorpia wasn't comfortable admitting that she would manipulate for food, then Catra wasn't about to tease her about it… too much. "Will that be enough?" Catra changes the conversation, eyes darting to the bags the taller woman carries. "You do tend to bake a lot."
"Oh," Scorpia blinks before smiling. "It's enough. I'll buy more on my way back from the Royal Banquet since it always has the best food."
"Is it like the prom?" She asks, letting her curiosity get the better of her.
"Kind of? It has the same rules, just… less forgiving. Like, a lot less forgiving." She tilts her head curiously. "Say, do you want to go as my guest?"
"Ah… is that a good idea? I kind of crashed the last princess gathering."
"I-, yes, but… hmm. I suppose things would be… tense, very tense. I suppose it depends what impression you want."
"Impression?" She… kind of regretted how she dealt with the prom. It did end with an entire kingdom joining the alliance.
"Well, if you want to network, then you could always blame Shadow Weaver."
"Blame her," Catra blinks, interrupted by the thought. "How?"
"It'll be tricky, but you were promoted after prom, so you could point out that disobeying orders would have ended up with your execution. It depends what impression you want them to have."
"And that would work?"
"Its-"
"Complicated?"
Scorpia offers a sheepish smile. "Kind of. The more experienced side will realise what you're doing, but won't be able to counter it since they'll have to follow etiquette." Blinking, her eyes darted towards a particularly long queue of people. "Ah, shoot." She groans, eyes darting back towards her with an apologetic smile. "I can tell you more later?"
"Sure." She nods, not wanting to take Scorpia's free day away. "I'll see you later, then."
As she watches Scorpia walk away, her mind spins, thoughts starting to form as she contemplates in which direction the Horde is going.
The crazy one, she concludes, moving in search of a comfortable tree to sleep by.
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Catra has always been sensitive about her less human aspects.
To this day, she'd always suspected that it'd been the origin of Shadow Wavers treatment. Not the only reason, of course, but… it'd always circled back to being an 'animal'.
It'd… Catra wouldn't call it dysphoria, since her issue had been what they represented rather than their presence, but… there'd been times -far too many times- when she wondered how different her life could have been as a human.
That random thought had appeared at the forefront of her mind when her tail was pulled back, causing her to let out a startled cry.
Her eyes narrowed, sharply spinning around ready to tear a new one to whichever idiot had a death wish.
She blinks into nothing. She then looks downwards at the soft whimper that catches her attention.
Wide, watery blue eyes stare back as Catra glares down at a child lying on the floor. Somehow, her knees are scraped with faint traces of blood.
Catra's bewildered by the civilian child's fragility. After all, she's standing on the soft grass.
And then she sniffs.
"S-sorry." She apologies, arms tightening around her book.
"Ah... well-" and the child starts to cry. "H-hey! It's okay! Really, I barely felt a thing! I'm a ho-, big girl, see!" She oscillates the tail, ignoring the sharp stinging as she distracts the kid.
Relatively speaking, having her tail pulled -even if by a kid- is marginally better than her ears. It's also around three times worse than banging your elbow, but as she said, relative.
"R-really?" She sniffs wide-eyed.
"Yes! Totally cool!" Where's Scorpia when you need her? Dear Lord H-. What would Scorpia do? "L-like, it's awesome. So you don't have to worry!" She stammers.
"So… you don't mind me touching it?" She asks hopefully.
At her hesitation, the girl's eyes start to well with tears again, leaving Catra with deep, soul silent cursing. This is the princesses fault, Lord Ho- forbid civilian kids were actually mature.
...granted, she'd been a brat, so that might be somewhat hypocritical, but still.
"I-I don't! Of c-course not! See?" She says, forcing her tail to lazily wave near the girl, "Just make sure to not pull."
No one would know that Entrapta had inspired hours worth of practice for her tails strength.
Mostly because it failed. Badly.
That being said, it did increase its dexterity, so-
"Cute," The girl whispers in awe, rubbing her tail the wrong way as Catra desperately stops herself from pulling it away.
Now that she's not dealing with a sobbing kid, Catra actually has a chance to note the huge, spiral-like shell and pink hair. It's not like the princesses hair, filled with stars and sparkles, but more of a fuchsia coloured shade.
She has no idea of the two things attached from the head.
"Say," She asks instead, "what are you doing all alone?" I thought kids went in packs? "Haven't you got any friends to-?" That is also the wrong thing to say because the child's eyes widen as she sniffs again.
"No."
"Ah. That's… cool."
"Have you also not got friends?"
"Huh?"
"You seem sad."
"I-" She thinks of warm, bluebell coloured eyes. And then instantly feels guilty because she should't think of her when she-
"It's okay." The girl sniffs, standing on the tip of her toes to awkwardly pat her head. "They don't like me either." She has no idea who 'they' are, but Catra feels sympathetic if only from the tone. Even if she'd completely mistaken exhaustion for sadness.
"I didn't used to have friends," Catra admits softly, leaning into the tree as the girl looks up at her with wide -and she feels the need to stress how adorable those are- eyes. "But... if you look hard enough, they'll..." she snorts, shaking her head as a fond smile forms on her lips. "Honestly? They're more likely to find you. Crash into your life without a warning... and at some point, you'll realise you don't want them to leave." She admits with a groan, thinking of a particularly large woman with bad habits of strong hugs.
"Ohhh." The girl stares, nodding as she sits near her feet at the base of the tree. Her hands were playing with the small flower in her hand.
Catra sits next to her, feeling as safe as one does with a falling apart Horde tank with a full loadout.
"Are you also...? Er... What's your name, Miss?"
Catra snorts, faintly amused at the girl's sudden awkwardness. "I'm Ca-" And then she stills. She wasn't supposed to give names, even to kids.
"C-?" She tilts her head, looking at Catra curiously. "Oh!" She brightens. "Is it a secret?"
"I-, Yes! Totally a secret." She hastily affirms.
"Then can I give you a name, Miss?"
"Sure." Catra blinks, feeling torn between bewildered and amused.
"Katherine." She declares instantly, nodding happily as she gazes up at the woman. "She's my favourite character." She confides, nodding seriously.
"Oh? Then it must be a good name."
"It is! Because Clara spent years trying to walk, and even when she really suffered she still kept trying because her friends believed in her!"
Catra tilts her head, humming thoughtfully as she continues to listen to the girl's childish explanation.
Catra has never considered herself a kind person. She wasn't evil, didn't even comprehend how that word could be defined, but Catra knew that kind people didn't stare blankly as they got covered in blood.
But...
No matter how bad things became, how twisted Catra became...
Catra knew she would never be able to harm a child.
What she hadn't realised was that it included not making them cry.
"Do you want to play?" She asks, fingers twirling with flowers as she pulls herself out of her thoughts.
"...Sure."
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Entrapta frowns, eyes darting from one graph to another as she tries to understand what lies in front of her.
Granted, all samples were from members of the Horde, leaving a biased census to use as a base for her data, but-
Tilting her head, her eyes dart between the almost finished weapon to the incomplete graph. A dozen separate ideas and hypotheses forming and falling as she starts to contemplate.
"Emily," She blinks, shoulders slumping in resignation. "Have we lost my six-sided hex driver again?"
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"It seems like you had fun, commander." The force captain comments as they walk through the street, The last traces of sunlight illuminating the town as they return to their headquarters.
"I suppose I did." She admits, stealing another glance towards the waving child as she offers a small wave back.
Of course, she ended up being the waitress's daughter.
"That's good to hear." He nods, smiling as he moves his hands behind his back. "You should try relaxing from time to time. I realise it might seem counterproductive, but you'd be surprised by how much clearer you'll see with a single day's rest."
"I... is that why you dragged me to your sector?" She asks, feeling more curious than accusing.
"Perhaps." He answers happily. She's slightly flattered by the thought. Even if it had ruined her sleep schedule. "You might raise some eyebrows with that," He hums. "Though for better or worse is up to be questioned."
"With wh-?" Catra's hand reaches for her head.
And then freezes, feeling her face heat as she recalls the flower crown the girl had made her wear. "I-, that's not something I can..." She couldn't just take it off. "Well, I suppose they'll have to deal with it,'' she sniffs, forcing herself to feel dignified.
"Indeed."
She nods to another passing resident, who happily waves instead of the usual salute she's become so accustomed to.
Why did you become the commander? She wondered, humming to herself as they walked past the last nonmilitary building.
"Why didn't you retire when things transitioned?" She finds herself blurting out.
"Ho?" His eyes suddenly become sharp, as if they were suddenly judging her very being. Subconsciously, she feels her spine straighten. "Well, I suppose part of it is an old man's inability to call quits."
The answer isn't particularly satisfying, she thinks, feeling a frown form on her features as she comes to a stop.
Beside her, the elderly man also stops, body relaxed as he waits patiently.
"You asked me why I wanted to become the commander." She finally sighs, feeling an odd mixture of exhaustion and... something.
"Hmm." He doesn't seem surprised by her question. If anything, she has the sudden feeling that he was expecting the question. "I suppose I did, didn't I?"
"...Was there a specific answer you wanted?" She finally asks, somewhat surprised by the softness of her own voice.
"Well, I wonder..." He trails off, seemingly unconcerned about finishing his own sentence.
Her eye twitches. "You're nowhere near as charming as you think you are." She huffs in a jumble of different frustrations.
There's no answer, and she didn't particularly expect one either. But if he's being complicated, then Catra's going to be just as complicated about it back.
"You were wrong," She finally answered. A slight sense of satisfaction fills her when he blinks in surprise. "In your question, I mean." She licks her lips, staring at the pavement with fake fascination. "I didn't have any honourable reasons for becoming the commander. They weren't noble, or kind, or... honestly? They weren't even formed from greed or lust..." It'd been out of desperation to prove that she was worth something. That Adora looking at her, and yet still leaving her, had been a mistake.
But in the end, Catra had been the one making a mistake. And it's always been like that, hasn't it?
"You were wrong in asking me why I became second in command." She repeats in a whisper, eyes darting upwards into the darkness of space. "What you should have asked," She continues, feeling her own heartbeat as if it was real for the first time in so, so long. "Is why I want to continue being the commander."
"...I see." He nods slowly, gaze heavy as his body straightens. "Then tell me, why do you want to continue being the commander, Catra?"
Her gaze drifts towards the town, the slight noise of voices still hearable as the lights slowly start to appear through the colourful houses.
"I..." She swallows, mind lost in a disarray of thoughts yet so surprisingly clear. "I don't know." She admits, wondering if he's disappointed. "I don't know. But when I see this, when I see what you've built, what you've kept... what you've protected..." Her thoughts return to a pink-haired, blue-eyed child, smiling innocently as she clapped at Catras first flower knot when Catra had learnt to murder and destroy at her age. "I think 'this could be more', I think 'this could have been the Horde', that 'this could be the Horde'."
"...Well then." He finally answers naturally. "I suppose we've got a lot of work ahead of us, Commander Catra." And he starts walking towards the large structure of their headquarters.
...Finally, her mind catches up, blinking as she realises that... Catra. That's the first time he's addressed her by name and not title.
Anyone else, and she would have taken it as a slight, but-
Catra slowly starts to smile.
The exhaustion is still there, but there's also contentment.
Smile still on her lips, she follows suit.
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I sometimes post art of my fanfics here:
Deviantart: sapphireandemeralds
Twitter: SappandEmr
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Thank you, thank you, thank you to Hubris Plus, Sathroe and Tara for reading through the draft! I realise it was far messier than usual. At some point, I'll learn not to leave the draft a day before releasing the chapter. Maybe I should change posting days to Saturday? I get the feeling it'd be counterproductive, but well see.
On that note, I apologise for the delay in release. I really do try to keep them organised, but I had a huge block after the first Kodiak and Catra talk, and just stares at the draft for days after. That's also why this chapter is somewhat shorter than usual.
There's always a point when I'm writing a chapter, and have to choose between posting it and being unhappy with it, or never posting it with an obsessive need for it to be perfect. Problem is, I know it's never going to reach that point... so instead, I'll say I tried my best.
And when I say I tried my best, I mean it was blank for the first week, and then charged through terrible writing the second.
That being said, I feel this was the needed but not entirely interesting chapter of Book I. There are two (maybe three, depending on how the next goes) more chapters until I really end the world-building and can start using it.
Do people actually like seeing an OC only once? Snail girl (hasn't got a name yet) just kind of popped in my head midway through writing this, and I just thought 'if there's one thing that would make Catra soft, it'd be kids'. If you could give an opinion on that, it'd be greatly appreciated on my part.
Mostly because half of each chapter is planned, and the other part is entirely random.
None the less, if you felt I should have written something differently, be it personality and/or displays of different states of mentality, please leave a comment! Any advice is welcome and appreciated!
Anyways, Ill See you next time! Chao!
~ Sapphire and Emeralds