When I was younger, I never feared death. Not because it seemed more of an abstract concept than a real thing, like for many young people. No, after my grandmother died when I was ten years old, the concept of death was clear to me. One moment you're here and the next you're gone and you stay alive only in people's minds. When those people die too, there's nothing left of you, unless you make some extraordinary impact on the world.

After my grandmother died, my mother's issues worsened. If up until then she was trying to make an effort, after that, she had given up completely and my life became a constant battle with her problems, as opposed to before, when she allowed herself to get really drunk only on the weekends. My grandmother's passing made the concept of death very clear to me, because not only did I lose her, but I also watched the last shred of livelihood die in my mother too.

So that was the reason why I didn't fear death, because although I knew how definite it was, I had nothing to lose in life. I had no idea what I wanted to become and I was completely alone and lost, vulnerable to whoever offered to save me. My mother didn't really have time to stop and care about me between her career, her PTSD, and the addiction that resulted from it. If I died while she was still alive, she probably would've mourned me because there would have been no one left for her to take her aggressions out on.

The first time I ever felt like I had something to lose was when I got accepted to the police academy. I was excited to see what I could do and was determined to help bring justice to people – something that my mother never got. The job gave meaning to my life so much more than I had expected. It became my life, and I liked it that way. When you're too busy for anything else, you also don't have time to fear death, even in a high-risk profession like mine.

I can't pinpoint a specific moment in time when I started to fear death because it crept up on me gradually and was suddenly present in me before I even realized it, but I can point at the person who triggered it. One day on the job I had to make a choice between shooting my partner or letting a victim die. That was the hardest thing I had ever had to do until then, and that was when I fully admitted to myself how much he meant to me. In fact, he was everything to me – my family, my best friend… the man I loved. I feared for his life like I never did before in my life, and it paralyzed me. I remember so clearly standing there with my gun aimed at him and the perp, who was right behind him, and as I looked into his blue eyes, all our years working together started playing in my head as if I was the one facing death. All the words that we never said to each other cascaded on me in an echoing silence and the weight of them sucked all the air from my lungs. It ended well, fortunately, but after that incident, I realized neither of us would be able to cope with the other dying, and I didn't only fear for his life, but I also feared what would happen to him if I died. I cared, and so I finally had something to lose.

After he left me and the job, the thought of him still being alive somewhere brought me comfort. I found other reasons to want to live for, like my son and my squad - the family I chose – and even more so than before, my job. But also for me. I felt like I deserved to live for myself. Ten years prior, Elliot left without saying goodbye, and it hurt so much, it felt like death. From there, I had to be reborn and I had to reinvent myself. It took me a while, but in the end, I gave up on him as one of my reasons, because I was sure I wasn't going to see him again.

Now he was here, blood trickling down his face from his forehead, looking at my own battered face. We both survived death in the most bizarre and terrifying thing that had ever happened to either of us.

Two days ago, we hit the road, following a lead about a potential witness that might save the joint investigation we were conducting. Elliot and the Organized Crime squad requested our help in dismantling a sex trafficking ring they were trying to bring down. The witness they so desperately needed to find was a part of that ring five years ago in Manhattan, but had since then fled, possibly upstate, to a small town by the name of Dorbridge. There was no way to reach her, as she had gone completely off-grid, and I figured it'd be easier to send someone up there from either one of our squads than to contact the local police and start looking for a cop who was willing to do us a favor. What I didn't expect was Elliot volunteering for the job and asking me to come with him.

"It would give us an opportunity to talk about things we never get the chance to talk about. There are still things I need to tell you," he said to me in my office in an attempt to convince me. He knew what he was doing, because I was dying for another opportunity to talk with him alone and without interruptions. He owed me so many answers and explanations. "I bet you still have things you want to ask, too," he read my mind.

I sighed. The temptation was too big to refuse, even when I tried to fight it. I had no intention of making it easy on him, I wanted to let him sweat. After disappearing on me for a decade, he had to put an effort into it. "Okay," I said after a few moments of hesitation, succumbing to my own weakness that only he could provok. I could never resist him. "The drive up there takes three hours, so let's leave tomorrow early morning. And I want to be back home for Noah by evening," at least I had enough dignity to set some terms that he immediately agreed to.

So we left Friday morning, but not as early as I intended. Elliot was ready to leave on time, but his car didn't start and he had to find a neighbor who was willing to give him a jump start. Still, it was early enough to make it back home in time for dinner if all went well. He offered me the keys in case I wanted to drive but I shook my head and declined the offer, because it was a beautiful day and I usually didn't get many opportunities to just sit and enjoy the view. Besides, it reminded me of when we were partners and that made me feel nostalgic. I hated to admit it, but I realized that not much had changed in our dynamic if his presence made me feel exactly like before.

With the sun on my face and some random radio station playing in the background, it felt like I was the one who came back home instead of him. The familiarity of it all wrapped me in warmth and I closed my eyes behind my sunglasses, leaning my head back on the headrest for a while.

The next time I opened my eyes the sky was a depressing gray. The car was standing on the side of a countryside road, and Elliot was getting out of it.

"What's going on?" I mumbled, disoriented, not sure when I dozed off and for how long.

Elliot stopped and turned to me. "The battery died again, I think. I'm gonna take a look under the hood."

"How long did I sleep?" I rubbed my forehead in an attempt to focus.

"Pretty much the entire ride," he smiled at my surprised face and got out. I watched him walk to the front of the car until he disappeared behind the hood. I've always loved the way he moved, and that hadn't changed either.

I looked around and realized we were in the middle of nowhere. No other cars passed by, and I had a strange feeling that it was always the case, not just while we were there. There were big, old-looking trees along the road from both sides, and it went on as far as the eye could see. A sign in the distance indicated something that I couldn't read, so I knew there must be something around here. As I kept looking around, the strange feeling became more and more disturbing. It was a feeling I couldn't explain or even describe. It felt like we were completely alone and, at the same time, like someone was watching us. I squinted at the gaps between the trees closest to me, to try and catch any observers in the act, but there was no one out there. No one that I could see, anyway.

Elliot closed the hood and gave me a grim look through the windshield. I opened the door and the chilly wind ruffled my hair as I got out and walked to him.

"It looks bad, I don't think a jump start would help anymore," he sounded irritated. I tried not to panic yet, even though we were stuck somewhere unfamiliar all alone.

"So let's call the towing company," I said, recognizing in my voice a hint of stress. It started to build up inside of me even though I tried to fight it. It grew in my chest and rose to my neck, wrapping me in an unpleasant sensation. It was an unexplainable bad feeling.

"I'll try, but the signal here is really bad," Elliot went to look for the number in his car. After a minute or two, I saw his lips moving so I knew he was talking with them, but I couldn't hear a word.

As I waited for him to come back out, I felt the soft wind ruffling my hair gently. It felt much colder than it should have been, compared to the temperature outside. All of a sudden, something sent a chill up and down my spine. A faint whisper, maybe, though I couldn't make out the words. I turned around quickly, hand on my gun, to find nothing but the trees swaying in the wind. I was sure there was someone behind me, but no one was there. The whisper sounded so real, and now the silence around me was so complete.

"Hey," Elliot's voice startled me and I turned back to him. "You okay?" he examined my face with a curious frown.

"Yes," I said quickly, "how long will it take them to get here?"

He let out air slowly before speaking. "They don't think they'll make it today."

I stared at him. "You're not serious." I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Apparently they have an extraordinary amount of calls today and since we're in a remote location –"

"Are you telling me we're stuck in… Where are we even?"

"There was a sign about a mile back. Dorbridge should be another seven miles from here."

I closed my eyes and let out air, trying not to panic. I couldn't even figure out why I was feeling this way. Elliot placed his hand on my shoulder and gave me a gentle squeeze to reassure me.

"Do you want to wait for me in the car while I go see if we could get help from someone there?"

His question slapped me back to stability and I recomposed myself quickly. I wasn't going to let him think I had gone soft over the years. "You kidding?" I tried to sound like nothing could scare me, "no way you're going alone. Let's go," and I started walking at a fast pace, leaving him momentarily behind. He ran a few steps to catch up with me, a smug on his face.

"What?" I wasn't irritated by his expression, though it was to be expected. After all this time he still didn't need to do much to calm my anxiety. The way he was adjusting his pace to mine, just like back in the day, did the trick. No one else could keep up with me since him. Literally and metaphorically.

"Nothing," he shrugged in pretend innocence.

"Why are you smiling?"

"I'm just… feeling nostalgic, I guess."

Once again, he was reading my mind. It felt so familiar that I almost teared up, but I never liked to show him my weak side, even back in the days of our partnership, when I trusted him wholly and completely.

We were both quiet for some time and the sound of our footsteps was remarkably loud in the silence around us.

Then I heard it again, the whisper. I stopped dead in my tracks and looked around me frantically, my heart pounding in my chest and my hand on my gun again. There was no one there, not that I could tell. I looked between the trees again, everything seemed so peaceful and green.

Elliot took a few more steps before realizing I had stopped. "What's wrong?" He looked confused.

"Did you hear that?!" I panted as I approached him. I didn't want to be far from him.

"I only heard the wind and our footsteps."

"I… I thought I heard someone talking," I felt silly admitting it to him, but he didn't seem to think so.

"It was probably just the wind. Come on," with his palm on my upper back, he prompted me to start walking again.

I looked down as I walked, trying to decipher the whisper in my head, and I felt him throwing glances at me every now and then. Was I worrying him?

"Can you read that sign from here?" he said suddenly, indicating something not too far from us.

I looked to where he was pointing and saw the sign that I had seen before, from the car. This time, the letters on it were much more readable, even though I had to squint.

"Yes. Can't you?"

"Well, you know… old age," he said and I had to scoff and roll my eyes when I looked at him and saw he had an amused expression on his face. He might be older now, a decade later, but he seemed to be in an even better shape now than he was back then, and he was well aware of it.

"It says Dorbridge Hotel, one mile," I informed him.

"Great, maybe they know someone who can help us." We both kept walking, feeling lighter now. There was light at the end of the tunnel.

When we got there about twenty minutes later, my chest felt empty at once like a deflated balloon. No one had been to this place in years, it seemed. The sight of the abandoned building crushed me as we stood at the edge of the front parking lot. I was worried I wouldn't be home in time for Noah and I got my hopes up about finding help there. It was something I had learned a long time ago not to do – to get my hopes up. But the sense of safety that came with Elliot made me let my guard down.

I felt like a foolish child as I stood and stared hopelessly at the shabby old building. It wasn't a tall one, it only had two floors, but it was long. In the middle of it was what used to be the front office. A broken sign above the door read 'Dorbridge Hotel'. On both sides of it, the building had long arms that I assumed contained the guest rooms and probably a dining area. It seemed that the color of the exterior walls had once been white, but the neglect was clearly present on them now in the form of dirt and stains in many shades of brown and yellow. The roof was made of wood and must have been impressive in the past. I imagined that the general look was once beautiful and very countryside-like.

The sight of the Dorbridge hotel intensified the weird sensation that had settled in my gut the moment I had woken up in the car. It gave me goosebumps. I looked at the windows, almost expecting to see an eerie face looking back at me, but it was too dark inside to see. All I wanted to do was to turn around and get the hell out of there because I was sure for some reason that a visit to it wouldn't end well.

"Now what?" The second the question left Elliot's lips, a massive booming sound echoed in our ears from above. We looked up just in time to see the flood starting to come down on us from the sky.

Elliot grabbed my hand and started running toward the building. I tried to pull him back, but he was too strong. I don't know if he even felt it.

"I'm not going in there!" I yelled over the sound of the downpour as we stopped in front of the door.

"Come on, Liv! Let's just wait until the rain stops and then continue to town!" He tried the door handle and, not surprisingly, the door opened immediately. Of course it would be unlocked, I thought to myself.

I'm not sure if it was the crazy rain or the way that he said 'Liv', but I eventually agreed to go inside. Looking back at it, I know I should've trusted my gut. Getting soaking wet would've been a hundred times better than what was waiting for us. I could feel the fear of death creeping through my veins as I stepped over the threshold into the darkness.