7. THE WATER'S EDGE
So, I'm a virgin. There, I said it.
And, well, it's the first night of my honeymoon. My wife – man, it's going to take some time to get used to that motherload of a word! – is literally getting ready right now in our bathroom, which is approximately four feet from where I'm sitting right now, and we are separated by one flimsy little door. That's it. So basically, we're going to go skinny-dipping together (yeah, you heard that right. I swear it was Archie's idea, not mine - it's a real ice-breaker, apparently) on a freaking island that my doctor mother-in-law freaking bought her husband (you know, my dear old dad-in-law) with moolah she's been saving up for – what? Like 300 years? - and I'm a married man. Hell yeah. Geez. How do you even "get ready" to go skinny-dipping anyways? Don't you just, like, throw off all your clothes and jump into the water? Something like that? I guess it's all just mental, if I take into account how I'm feeling about this whole thing right about now. I sucked in a breath and blew it out loudly, trying to calm my nerves. You know that show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, that about sums up my entire mental state tonight. Shaking my head, I shivered and gathered up the courage to speak to my wife, catching my breath before rising from the mattress of this giant white bed situated in the middle of this giant white bedroom, hearing the springs creak ever so slightly from below me as I caught my balance and fastened the towel even tighter around my waist. It wasn't like she was gonna see me right then and there in all my very pale, half-albino, totally naked glory, but I just couldn't help it.
"Hey, Edythe?" I went up to and knocked on that flimsy little door I was telling you about earlier.
"Yes?" her voice sounded even higher than usual, but just as beautiful and soft as silk. Maybe she was freaking out a little in there, too.
"I'm gonna, uh, you know, head out early, if that's okay with you?" I asked her and my voice got all high and squeaky, like I was suddenly going through puberty all over again. I coughed and tried it again. "That is, I'm gonna head down to the beach right now, if you don't mind? Just to get my feet wet; test out the waters. You know me! Extreme temperatures and all." my voice, while I did somehow manage to make it come out a smooth, even sound, shook in the slightest and the pacing of my speech sped up just a little bit.
"No, of course! I'll meet you there soon." She answered quickly and I nodded my head real fast, almost forgetting she can't even see me right now. I turned to leave and went out to the beach through the front patio.
I breathed in the warm, fragrant night air. The crashing of the soft yet thunderous waves sprayed my face with ocean mist and I closed my eyes and wriggled my toes in the warm, wet sand which squelched pleasantly between them. The color of the sand matched the same shade of white as the moonlight which shone down on it from the sky, which was full of giant, twinkling stars. All was quiet, and you couldn't see anyone for miles. Slowly, I reached down to the folds of my towel fastened round my waist and I started to undo the little knot I'd made, soon feeling it fall to the floor with a quiet "thud" down onto the sand. I stepped out of the fluffy white ring and took another long, deep breath. "Here goes nothing." I said to myself and slowly, slowly began wading into the water. I shuddered as the coolness of the sea slammed into my calves then my thighs and then my torso, and I filled my mouth with an air bubble to stop myself from gasping too loudly as I submerged myself in the cool water, self-conscious of every little move I made when there wasn't even anyone around to give me a hard time for it. I've got every right to be here as anyone else does, right? Nobody's gonna care. Exactly. I reasoned with myself. I stayed that way, looking out into the sea and contemplating my dumb thoughts as I watched the shining city lights from across the vast, blue water which seemed to be telling me to calm down and relax, and I actually almost did. Just as I pulled myself out of my little OCD stint though, I felt a cool, soft hand press up against my bare back, threatening to topple that peace I so painstakingly crafted in my little moments of self-reflection. But I couldn't have been happier.
"Hey." Both her cool hands were touching me now and I didn't dare turn around, afraid I'd freaking die from seeing an entire deity up close and personal, like I'd get struck down by a lightning bolt thrown by Zeus for, me being a mere mortal and all, getting too close to Aphrodite. Her breasts were firmly pressed up against my back now and she reached out in front of her, catching me, and ran her hands up and down my chest and torso from behind, gently at first but then her movements got quicker and quicker and she left a kiss on my shoulder and gave me a sort of squeeze of a hug. I could feel her cheek resting against my back and I closed my eyes tight again, taking another deep breath.
"Hey." I answered her in a shaking voice just barely above a whisper. I was frozen to the spot, my feet felt like they were getting sucked down into a vortex of sand and I felt as if I'd wake up on the other side from this impossible dream; this impossibly amazing, totally ridiculous, and stunningly beautiful dream. It was a good thing she swiveled me round to look at her (I couldn't have done it on my own accord), and just like that I knew right then and there I really were struck dead, only for my freaking soul to have woken up in what could only have been Heaven.
I've never seen Edythe naked before. I mean, I've imagined it more times than I'd like to admit, sure, but nothing, and I mean nothing, not even my wildest dreams could have ever prepared me for the awesome Beauty which lay right before me that was her pulchritudinous form; which was of the highest caliber of perfection to the millionth degree.
I've never gotten so high on a figure before.
"You're so beautiful." It was the biggest understatement in the universe. My brain, dumbstruck by the immaculate vision that was my wife, almost couldn't even formulate these words in one cohesive sentence, and it was near impossible for me to even register in my head I was speaking at all in the first place.
"So are you." She breathed almost shyly and threw her beautiful arms around my neck. She jumped up a little and my hands hooked behind her knees in the soft blue water. My hands drifted slowly up her thighs and I squeezed at those heavenly bits of perfection.
My hips throbbed and pressed against the inside of her thighs, and we shared this perfect kiss together and then another and another, our lips meeting again and again like the waves which crashed upon the sand under the glow of the moon which bathed us in unbending light.