(Previously on Superchicken)
"WELL THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, SUPERCHICKEN, AKA HENRY CABOT HENHOUSE THE III WAS ATTEMPTING TO JOIN AN ELITE TEAM OF SUPERINTELLIGENT CHICKENS KNOWN AS C.H.I.C.K, BUT BEFORE ANYTHING WAS MADE OFFICIAL, THE MEMBERS OF C.H.I.C.K WERE KIDNAPPED AGAINST THEIR WILL BY AN UNKNOWN ENTITY. NOW IT IS UP TO SUPER CHICKEN AND FRED TO SAVE THEM. MEANWHILE, LET'S CHECK IN ON THE MEMBERS OF C.H.I.C.K, TRAPPED WITHIN A SECURITY BASE SOMEWHERE IN…WELL, SOMEWHERE SECRET!"
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"….ay, cielos…NIWATORI!" Gallo exclaimed. "Status update?"
"There appears to be a way out of here, I'd just have to bypass the security mainframe with my newly-constructed SUPERCOMPUTER!!" Niwatori replied, looking up at the security device attached to the cage.
"NIWATORI YANKED OUT WHAT APPEARED TO BE AN ORDINARY, PINK LAPTOP….WITH WIRES AND A METALLIC SATELITE STICKING OUT FROM ONE END. IT WAS COATED IN RELATIVELY CHILDISH STARS AND HEARTS, AND ONLY HAD THREE BUTTON KEYS—ONE RED KEY WITH A CAT FACE, ONE BLUE KEY WITH A PUPPY FACE, AND ONE YELLOW KEY WITH A BUNNY FACE."
"Yes, I did create this from a child's toy….it is still capable of functioning like any other mechani—"
(("A-B-C-D-E-F—")) A computerized child voice came from the monitor before Niwatori banged his fist on the computer a bit.
"THAT…is just a glitch…" he replied, chuckling awkwardly.
(("—I LOVE YOU!!"))The voice on the computer sputtered once again.
"—HAH!" Poulette laughed, so did Gallo.
"—As is that…" Niwatori replied, then the computer screen now went black with a green radar showing their location. He pressed some of the animal buttons, which produced some squeaking noises. "Now then, according to my analysis, there is a way we can get out of this containment unit, we just have to enter the southernmost air duct, go through this maze of vents here, and Chicago won't know what hit him!"
"Chicago did not kidnap you all." A random, deep, mechanical-sounding voice spoke. "He simply instructed me to kidnap you."
"Who zaid zat?!" Poulette gasped along with the others and yanked out a large samurai sword (a gift from Niwatori). "SHOW YOURZELF!"
"EMERGING FROM THE SHADOWS CAME A TINY PIGEON WITH LOPSIDED EYES. HIS BODY WAS RATHER PLUMP, THE FEATHERS ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD HAD BEEN SHAVED COMPLETELY….AND HE APPEARED TO BE CONNECTED TO AN OLD SPEAK N SPELL VIA A WIRE ATTACHED TO THE BACK OF HIS HEAD."
"I, am Chirpy." The pigeon…or rather, it's communication device, spoke. "Since I am mute, Chicago hooked me up to this…infernal contraption…" Chirpy struggled to stand, banging the speak-n-spell a little.
"EVERYONE WAS STUNNED, UNTIL THE PIGEON BEGAN TO PREEN HIS FEATHERS. THEN, HE CONTINUED SPEAKING…"
"I was the first experiment the doc-doc-doc-doc—" The speak-n-spell began stuttering. Annoyed, Chirpy bumped his body against the speak-n-spell, which then stopped. "The doctor created, as a part of Proj-Project Hawking—in which he'd discover a way to give animals human-level sentience. He did so by strapping a wire which connected my brain and all its thoughts, translating them to English by way of this speak-n-spell childrens' educaaa-ational device. And now that you're all here, you shall ne-ver escape. Mahahahaha—" the pigeon's monotone translator started to emotionlessly laugh.
"SUDDENLY WITHOUT ANY WARNING, CHIRPY BEGAN TO COUGH. HE CROUCHED DOWN AND STARTED TO PAINFULLY HACK UP A STRANGE, WHITE SUBSTANCE."
"Ees zat….milk?!" Poulette asked, voice quivering, herself about to vomit. "Sainté merde!"
"—a-hem." Chirpy's translator cleared its throat, then continued. "All pi-geons secrete crop milk, male or female, IT IS TOTALLY NOR-MA-AL! Anyway, you'll remain here until Dr. Chicago arrives…he's got plans for all of you…"
"CHIRPY, no, you don't have to listen to Chicago anymore!" Niwatori pleaded. "You can redeem yourself!"
"Chirpy was my slave name." The pigeon spoke, his little eyebrows furrowing. "You may now call me-e, the STOOL-PIGEON!"
"FOR A MOMENT, EVERYONE DID NOT KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF THE SMALL PIGEON, THEN THEY LAUGHED."
"Zat ees a RIDICULOUS NAME!!" Poulette replied.
"Yeah, is this only a STOOL SAMPLE OF YOUR WORK?!" Gallo retorted.
"NEGATORY!" Chirpy boomed in a much more demonic variant of his usual robotic tone.
"THE SMALL PIGEON FLEW…or rather he tried to fly away, LEAVING THE MEMBERS OF C.H.I.C.K STRANDED. IT SEEMED ALL HOPE WAS LOST….or was it?"
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"Okay, Fred, we're here…now, try not to make any noise, the guards could hear you…" SC spoke.
"Okay!" Fred replied.
"THE CHICKEN AND LION CREPT THROUGH THE HALLS OF THE STRANGE FORTRESS, NOTING THE ENORMOUS, HUMANOID ROBOT GUARDS PATROLLING THE AREA…"
"Now we've just gotta find out where they're keeping C.H.I.C.K!" SC whispered.
"Hey, how bout there?!" Fred asked, pointing at a sign clearly reading "C.H.I.C.K HOLDING UNIT".
"Uh…SC spoke, then chuckled. "Yeah, that'll work."
"SC AND FRED THEN WALKED INSIDE, SLIGHTLY CURIOUS TO SEE AS HOW SUCH AN INTELLIGENT VILLAIN COULD EASILY DIRECT THEM TO THEIR CAPTORS."
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"ONCE SC AND FRED ARRIVED, THEY NOTICED POULETTE WAS TRYING TO SAW A WAY OUT BY USAGE OF HER SAMURAI SWORD, BUT TO NO AVAIL."
"Need a hand?" SC asked.
"¿Qué?!" Gallo exclaimed, looking up.
"Oh, it's you." Poulette replied, unamused. "Ze great, powerful guy, here to show us zat we are nosink."
"Actually I've come to save you guys." SC replied.
"What?" Niwatori asked.
"How're you going to break us out?" Gallo asked.
"Easy…" SC replied, staring at the cage door.
"Ooh! You gonna yuthe your LASTHER EYETH?!" Fred asked.
"E-yup." SC replied, then gulped. "Oh jeez, this is the worst part…"
"SUPER CHICKEN'S LASER EYES SHOT FORTH FROM HIS EYEBALLS, BLASTING THE CAGE DOOR."
"—EEEEYAAaaaAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaAAGH!!" He exclaimed, then collapsed.
"THE CAGE DOOR WAS REDUCED TO A PILE OF GOOP. SUPER CHICKEN STOOD BACK UP, HIS EYES WERE AS RED AS A TOMATO, WITH A LITTLE STEAM COMING OFF THE EDGES."
"I'm gonna need…" he moaned, rubbing his eyes. "Some systane eye drops…."
"Leth get out!" Fred exclaimed, picking up Super Chicken and rushing out along with the other chickens.
"Niwatori, what's our ztatus now?" Poulette asked.
"This base appears to be surrounded by ocean…" Niwatori spoke, yanking out a satellite attachment and placing it on his computer. "We could still be able to summon the Combo from here…"
"The what?" SC asked.
"NIWATORI PRESSED A BUTTON AND THE GROUND RUMBLED. A FEW PIECES OF MACHINERY SURFACED FROM WITHIN THE DEPTHS OF THE OCEAN. THEY REFORMED THEMSELVES, GETTING TALLER AND TALLER UNTIL THEY CREATED THE IMAGE OF A MASSIVE, ROBOTIC CHICKEN."
"Heh, robot chicken." Fred laughed to himself.
"This is the Three-Piece-Combo." Gallo spoke. "It's called as such because it typically takes all three of us to operate…until today, that is."
"IMMEDIATELY EVERYONE WENT TO THEIR LOCATIONS—GALLO CONTROLLED BOTH THE ARMS, NIWATORI AND POULETTE CONTROLLED THE LEFT AND RIGHT LEG OF THE MECHA, RESPECTIVELY, AND YET, SOMETHING WAS MISSING."
"We've never really had anyone controlling the brain of our Mecha before." Gallo spoke, then he took off his glasses, smiling at Super Chicken. "Perhaps you can, my friend…"
"I would be more than honored to, Gallo." Super Chicken replied.
"SUPER CHICKEN IMMEDIATELY TOOK CONTROL OF THE HEAD PORTION OF THE COMBO, FRED BY HIS SIDE, AND WITH THAT, THEY WERE OFF, ACROSS THE OCEAN, HEADED BACK TO PITTSBURGH."
"Ah, well I'm glad everything worked out in the end." SC spoke, putting his section of the Combo on auto-pilot.
"Don't get too cocky!" Fred exclaimed, pointing ahead. "Unidentified object, two o'clock!"
"AN ENORMOUS MACHINE WAS NOW FOLLOWING C.H.I.C.K, FRED, AND SUPER CHICKEN. THIS HUNK OF JUNK WAS IN THE SHAPE OF A MASSIVE PIGEON, THOUGH, AND COMPARED TO THE THREE-PIECE COMBO, THIS APPEARED TO BE MORE SCIENTIFICALLY ADVANCED. WHAT'S WORSE THAN THAT, WAS THAT SEATED WITHIN THE COCKPIT OF THE MACHINE, WAS CHIRPY, PILOTING THE METAL PIGEON."
"You chickens will bu-urn." Chirpy spoke from within the Mecha's loudspeaker.
"ACTIVATING GREN-EGG LAUNCHER!" Niwatori hollered, pressing a few buttons on his side of the Combo.
"IMMEDIATELY A LARGE EGG CARTON WAS DISPENSED FROM THE COMBO, BUT THESE WERE NO EGGS, THESE WERE PROFESSIONAL-GRADE GRENADES! THEY WERE LAUNCHED AT CHIRPY'S MECHA, ALREADY CAUSING SERIOUS DAMAGE."
"That is not fair fighting..." Chirpy stood up, pulling on another lever.
"CHIRPY'S NEXT ATTACK INVOLVED PECKING THE MECH, AND HE WAS ABLE TO MAKE THIS EXTREMELY DEADLY BY REPLACING THE BEAK ON HIS ROBOT WITH A JACKHAMMER!"
"AAAAGHH! MAKE IT THTOOOOPP!!" Fred bellowed, covering his ears.
"ALLEZ! DEPLOYING CHICKEN ZCRATCH!" Poulette slammed a red button on the control panel.
"THE COMBO NOW EXTENDED ITS ROBOTIC CLAWS AND SCRATCHED THROUGH THE METAL OF CHIRPY'S ROBOT. CHIRPY LANDED ANOTHER BLOW TO THE THREE PIECE COMBO, BUT THE COMBO STILL HELD FAST…"
"We've gotta lose him!" SC spoke through the loudspeaker. "Head for the city!"
"THE COMBO DID JUST THAT, ARRIVING BACK TO SUPER CHICKEN'S HOME IN PITTSBURGH, BUT THEN THEY WERE SURROUNDED BY A TALL BUILDING AND CHIRPY'S MECH."
"Now UPPERCUT!" Super Chicken exclaimed.
"THE COMBO SUCKER-PUNCHED THE PIGEON'S MECHA, NOW A CROWD OF PEOPLE WAS FORMING."
"Oh great…" Gallo replied. "Now we've attracted attention."
"I've got this!" Superchicken exclaimed, causing the Combo to deck Chirpy a good 50-miles away from the city.
"Huh...well, ZAT worked!" Poulette replied.
"THE COMBO FLEW OVER TO CHIRPY'S COMPLETELY DESTROYED PIGEON MECHA, IN A LOCATION OUT IN THE COUNTRY, WHERIN IT HAD RAMMED INTO THE SIDE OF A FARMHOUSE.
"No. Please. Have merc-y-y-y…" the tiny pigeon spoke before SC removed his connection to the speak n spell from his head.
"WITHOUT THE ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE, CHIRPY WAS NOW AN ORDINARY PIGEON. SC HELD HIM WITHIN HIS GRASP, LOOKING AT HIM."
("C-cooooo!") Chirpy cooed, now feeling as helpless as a newly hatched chick.
"Well we can't really arrest you, you rat with wings, so I'm handing you over to C.H.I.C.K custody.." SC placed the small pigeon in a cage and handed it to Gallo.
"THE CITY WAS PRETTY MUCH DESTROYED, BUT SINCE HE WAS A BILLIONAIRE WITH AN ENDLESS STREAM OF CASH, SC PROMISED TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING."
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"SUPER CHICKEN AND FRED STOOD WITH THE OTHER MEMBERS OF C.H.I.C.K, TOGETHER AGAIN AND BACK ON THE ISLAND OF WATZITUYA."
"Super Chicken, we are terribly sorry for how we treated you." Niwatori spoke.
"We have decided to change ze rule on not allowing anyone wiz superpowers, because yu showed us zat fancy gadgets, superpowers or no, people can still save ze day." Poulette replied.
"Thanks but I've decided to decline your offer." Super Chicken replied. "We can still be allies, but I feel better working with Fred. Besides, I feel like you guys are already a perfect trio!"
"Thanks again for saving us, though." Gallo replied, handing SC a C.H.I.C.K watch. "We'll let you know once more when we are in need of your assistance."
"I'll be there!" SC replied, he and Fred leaving for the supercoop.
"AND SO, HAVING SAVED THE WORLD ONCE MORE (though they'd never saved the world from a giant robot being controlled by an insane, talking pigeon before), SUPER CHICKEN AND FRED HEADED FOR HOME..."
End.