"ONE DAY, FRED AND SUPER CHICKEN HAD COME BACK TO THE MANSION FROM THE ABANDONED LABORATORY OF DR. CHICAGO, IN AN ATTEMPT TO SALVAGE SOME OF HIS INVENTIONS. FRED HAPPENED TO NOTICE ONE THAT CAUGHT HIS INTEREST GREATLY."

"What d'ya make of thith, SC?" Fred asked that particular day.

"Oh that…" SC examined the strange device Fred held. "That would be a pill designed to increase the cognitive capacity of anyone who so chooses to ingest it."

"What?" Fred asked, still very confused.

"It makes people smart, Fred." Super Chicken replied in a monotone.

"FRED, WHEN SUPER CHICKEN WAS NOT LOOKING, PICKED UP THE PILL, EXAMINING IT IN HIS CLAWS."

"Thmarty pill, eh?" Fred pondered. "I could uthe one o' thethe."

"FRED SWALLOWED THE PILL WITHIN AN INSTANT, AND WITHIN SAID INSTANT, THE PILL WAS ALREADY BEGINNING TO DISSOLVE WITHIN HIS STOMACH'S GASTRIC ACIDS. THAT NIGHT HE WENT TO SLEEP IN HIS BED NEXT TO SUPER CHICKEN'S, NOT KNOWING WHAT WOULD HAPPEN THE FOLLOWING DAY…"

——————

"You look different, Fred." Super chicken spoke the next day. "I just cant place my finger on it…"

"FRED'S HEAD HAD GOTTEN ENORMOUSLY LARGE TO ACCOUNT FOR HIS GIANT CRANIUM. IN ADDITION, HE NOW SPORTED A PAIR OF SQUARE-SHAPED, BLACK RIMMED GLASSES."

"Perhaps it is the fact that both sections of my newfound intellectually-enlarged brain are now functioning at 95%?" Fred asked, for some reason without his trademark lisp.

"Hey that's it!" Super Chicken snapped his feathers. "You got rid of your lisp! I'm so proud of you, buddy!"

"Henry, it was not my speech impediment holding me back from being a truly intellectual man, but rather my brain." Fred replied.

"Wait…oh no…did you?!" Super Chicken asked.

"Yes, Henry…I swallowed the pill." Fred replied. "I had to."

"B-but WHY?!" Superchicken exclaimed.

"It's quite simplistic. The fact of the matter is that I tire of being an imbecilic sidekick, a SLAVE nonetheless, continuously following your every move, your every whim, catering to your beck and call in a vicious cycle for over 50 years…" Fred's enormous brain now appeared to be pulsating! "Now with my intellect, I can succeed in this world the way I was always meant to! And more!"

"Fred--Fred WHAT'RE YOU DOING?!" SC exclaimed as the walls around him and the mansion began to very quickly deteriorate.

Fred's head became even bigger now, a massive purple storm began to form around the mansion and the surrounding Pittsburgh area. Lightning strikes blasted nearby, parked cars, making them explode within a second.

"What I was MEANT TO DO, HENRY," Fred's voice was now booming, his eyes glowed a bright yellow.

"Super Chicken, your attempts at my downfall are LAUGHABLE at best!" Fred exclaimed as his cranium continued to grow larger and larger. "With this pill I shall utilize my newfound intelligence to CONQUER THE PLANET!!" Fred laughed maliciously.

"Oh, YEAH??" Superchicken exclaimed.

"THE SMALL CHICKEN PROCEEDED TO DRAW A HUGELY COMPLICATED MATHEMATICS EQUATION ALL OVER THE ENTIRE MANSION'S INTERIOR."

"Let's see you solve this complicated algebra problem I solved in high school!" SC remarked, acting rather, well...cocky.

"The answer is two." Fred replied.

"WHAT?!" Superchicken exclaimed in total disbelief. "But you didn't even show your work!"

"Oh, yes, terribly sorry, I forgot that you're a VISUAL LEARNER…" Fred spoke in a relatively condescending tone towards the chicken.

"UTILIZING HIS MASSIVE BRAIN, FRED CONCENTRATED LONG AND HARD, UNTIL, AFTER HIS OWN CRANIUM PULSATED LIKE A SLUG, HE WAS ABLE TO ASTRALLY PROJECT WHAT LOOKED LIKE A LARGE, NUMBER-FILLED, VIOLET-COLORED BLACKBOARD AND DEPICT HIMSELF ACTUALLY SHOWING HIS WORK!"

"Oh my gosh…" Superchicken replied, in total awe and horror at the lion's newfound brainpower. "I'm never gonna be able to beat him...unless..."

"SUPERCHICKEN VERY QUICKLY DEVELOPED AN IDEA OF HIS OWN WHILE FRED WAS FIXING THE THEORY OF QUANTUM RELATIVITY FOR THE SECOND TIME THAT DAY. IF FRED NOW ONLY KNEW HOW TO BE INTELLIGENT, HE'D HAVE TO ACT DUMBER THAN USUAL."

"Duh, HEY MITHTER FRED!" Superchicken exclaimed, attempting to take on Fred's lisp. "What'th that big, yellow burny thing in th' thky an' where doth it go when it geth dark?"

"WHAT?!" Fred exclaimed, laughing. "What on earth did you say?!"

"IT WORKED, FRED'S BRAIN SHRANK SIGNIFICANTLY. SUPERCHICKEN CONTINUED ACTING DUMB..."

"Mithter Fred, two pluth two ith twenty-two!" He exclaimed.

"INCORRECT!" Fred exclaimed. "IT'S FOUR YOU MORONIC--"

"FRED'S GLASSES SUDDENLY CRACKED, MAKING THE INTELLECTUAL LION GASP."

"You FOOL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" He exclaimed. "I'LL LOSE MY INTELLIGENCE!"

"Ooh, Intellivision!" Superchicken droned. "That'th thpelled "I-N-CROOKED LETTER-Q-W-X-B!"!" He exclaimed.

"NOOOOOOOO!!" Fred exclaimed, struggling to re-inflate his enlarged cranium.

"WITH EVERY IDIOTIC THING SUPER CHICKEN SAID, FRED'S BRAIN SHRANK SMALLER AND SMALLER, UNTIL IT WAS FINALLY ITS NORMAL, IDIOTIC SIZE AGAIN."

"Fred??" Superchicken approached the lion, now lying unconscious on the ground. "Are you okay?! Speak to me! Say something!"

"Something." Fred remarked, opening one eye.

"FRED! You're back to your old self!" Superchicken hugged his leonine pal.

"BANANA!" Fred exclaimed. "Yep, bein' thmart wathfun, but I'm actually glad ta be dumb."

"That's my sidekick." Super Chicken replied, he and Fred laughed together.

End.