There was metal music I couldn't identify blaring from the stereo as we shifted into third gear, speeding down the streets of my neighborhood. I was gripping the seat below me as I swung around to get my seatbelt on as quickly as I could. This wasn't the first time I was in a car with Eddie behind the driver's seat, but he was driving the getaway car more recklessly than I would have liked.

"Why did you do that!" I exclaimed. I still don't think I had caught my breath after Eddie kissed me unexpectedly in front of my parents, and our close call at getting away right before I was grounded for life.

"Parents deserve to be humbled," He said proudly, turning the stereo down a few notches, still laughing about his bold move.

"Well you definitely ruined any chance of them liking you, or willingly letting me go anywhere with you again. Or leave the house at all for that matter." I said, slumping in the chair and crossing my arms over my chest. I wasn't necessarily mad, just trying to catch up with the whirlwind this evening was providing.

"Honey, they were never going to like me simply because of my last name and reputation. Might as well have some fun while we can. And besides, you're 18. It's not like they can dictate your life anymore." Eddie said matter of factly.

"I still think they can ground me for life and not pay for my college tuition," I argued.

"Until that happens, lets live a little," He said, looking over at me with a smile as he moved his hand onto my knee. My yellow dress was tea length so it extended past my knees, but I still imagined his hand against my bare leg. He had silver rings on most of his fingers and he was drumming his other hand on the steering wheel to the beat of the song playing from the stereo. I was so caught up in the excitement of being around someone edgy and new, I never stopped to realize I was making choices outside of my comfort zone and letting myself get caught up in the whimsy.

"Eddie, I don't think you understand. My dad is totally going to go mental. I wouldn't be surprised if he got in his car and tried to follow us to school and yank me out of the dance. That's an actual possibility. I haven't given him any reason to not trust me until now, but he still questions everything I do. The leash he has me on is so short. And then you come along, the exact opposite person he imagines his daughter spending time with, we absolutely didn't convince him at all, and now that he saw you kiss me I'm going to be in deep shit- " I was rambling at this point. The internal panic had caught up to me. I was taking short, shallow breaths, trying to calm myself down.

"Hey, hey, it's okay, Annie. He's not going to follow us, I saw him go back inside. And I don't know why I did that. I think I was just trying to show them that they don't own you or your decisions. It wasn't fair of me to do that, I'm sorry. I don't want to make you uncomfortable." He said, entirely genuine. The hand on my leg squeezed my thigh slightly, a sign of assurance.

"No, you're right. My whole life has been dictated by what they want me to be. I did what they said and presented myself as the perfect girl they can show off to the world because that was always easier than resisting. I did the activities they wanted, got perfect grades. Any time I even slightly went off track, it was chaos, so I stayed quiet and did what they wanted. I played their game, and now I'm not even sure I know who I truly am. Until recently I hadn't even considered who I might actually want to be. I just went along with it until it was too late to change course." The truth had a way of all coming out when I was around Eddie.

"Well for one, you're a freaking badass," He said, shaking my leg playfully. I let out a little laugh, although I didn't see it. "I'm serious! You make being you look effortless. You get along with everyone, and you don't ruffle feathers but you also take no shit. You may think you're whoever your parents wanted you to be, but you totally stand out as your own person. You excel at school, so you come off as cool and confident. You're caring and would totally go to bat for your friends. And when you're really passionate about something, you go all in, it's adorable. And as much as I might say 'damn the man,' you've somehow been a good influence on me. I might actually graduate this year, and that's thanks to you. So don't ever let the way they treat you make you think otherwise," He said. I could tell he was getting worked up, and furthermore he meant everything he said.

"You see all that?" I said, after a moment of mutual silence.

"It makes me sad that you don't." Eddie replied.

I turned my torso to look at him. He snuck a serious glance at me as he turned down Main street. We had to drive through town to get to the school, and we were getting close.

I don't know if I was overwhelmed by emotion or anxiety or both, but tears were welling in my eyes from his words. I didn't know the slightest of who I was, but Eddie had a very clear picture, and the way he described me was unfathomable. I turned my head and softly wiped at my eyes. When I returned my hands to my lap, Eddie picked up my left hand and brought it up to his lips. He gave my hand a quick peck, and brought both our hands onto the gear switch into 2nd gear. We sat in mutual silence for a while, the only sounds were the music playing from the stereo at a lowered volume, and the car humming along.

My mind was working a million miles a minute, reviewing everything that had happened tonight. Eddie and I had been making up excuses to spend time here and there for weeks, mostly revolving around me tutoring him in French. But lately, tutoring had been a loose term. Mostly we spent time after school working on homework or studying for a few minutes, and then quickly changing the subject and getting to know each other. Then he started telling me about his Senior Year Bucket list, which we playfully referred to as the "fuck it list," and it was a good excuse to fantasize about all the ways we can fuck with the school before graduation. We had mostly been all talk, but tonight we were actually taking action. Bucket list items being tackled tonight included: spiking the punch, giving weed to some freshmen, and pantsing a member of the Homecoming Court. I was nervous, but it was an opportunity to spend more time with him, so I put my consciousness aside and went with it.

When the night started, I hadn't planned on being alone with Eddie in my bedroom. I hadn't imagined my hormones driving me to practically jump him, or how far we would have gotten before my parents came home. Sure, I may have imagined it in my alone time, using our one previous kiss as material to last me weeks, and wondered what he would look like without a shirt more than once. Every time we were together I had thought about it. But now I had to grapple with the mental image of him standing naked before me, and that changed just about everything. From the looks of it, he wasn't quite expecting it either. I was still so worried I had messed something up, brought our friendship to a point we couldn't sustain. He was being sweet tonight, but what happens when he wakes up tomorrow and decides I'm crazy and it's not with it. That he doesn't want to deal with my insane family, or my silly school girl problems, and would rather fly solo like he always had. I was so scared of that happening, I didn't want to ruin my chances of whatever could happen tonight.

I heard a breathy chuckle come from Eddie as we rounded onto the street the school was on.

"What?" I asked. His left leg was jiggling up and down. My hand was still in his on the gear shift.

"Don't judge me…" he said, shaking his head. If I had spent the last few minutes in silence, thinking about him and what had happened, I could only imagine his brain was wandering in the same direction.

"You're thinking about earlier?" I asked. He had a knowing look on his face. "I'm thinking about earlier," he confirmed, smiling. "Annie, you were-"

"Stop it!"

"I mean, I was not expecting-"

"Please," I raised my voice, trying to drown him out.

"If you had just told me, I would have-"

"Stop, this is so embarrassing!" I groaned. He was definitely enjoying this, as we pulled into the parking lot and idled slowly around back.

"You really knew what you wanted, huh?" Eddie said. He pulled into a parking spot, refusing to let my hand off the shifter. He moved our hands to first gear, putting pressure on my hand. He ever so slightly stroked his hand on mine, up and down just once, still grasping the gear. He was being incredibly suggestive, and he knew what he was doing.

"I…. refuse to speak." I said barely above a whisper. I couldn't breathe. My cheeks were definitely turning red. I closed my eyes. He was milking it, and I was beyond embarrassed. I couldn't be held responsible for whatever the hell happened in my bedroom!

"We don't have to go inside. I mean, I can think of plenty of other things to do tonight." He brought my hand to his face again and began kissing each of my fingers. He took my hand and cupped his face with it, leaning his head to rest in the palm of my hand. "How can you say no to this face," He said, giving me puppy dog eyes and putting on a sweet voice.

"Easily," I said, twisting my hand to grab his cheeks between my thumb and fingers and squeeze them together until his lips were puckered out. He took this to his advantage and made a few kissy noises. I couldn't help but laugh. Somehow, with his face in my hand, I was in control of the situation again. There was a silent yearning in his eyes. Playful, but pleading. He wasn't afraid to let me know he was completely present at this moment. His wants were apparent, and he was now being vocal about them. I used my hand to shake his head "no" slowly.

"You squeeze my face any harder, you're going to make me hard, Annie." Holy fuck, this man was bold. Just hearing those words put so bluntly was making me weak. I could barely keep up with what was happening.

"You're too easy." I whispered, leaning in to bridge the distance. "I'll work on it," he said, breaking the gap and going in for the kiss.