I woke up the next day with yesterday's conversation with Lee and my son still weighing heavily on my mind. I was still a bit confused on what to do so there was really only one thing left to do before I make a decision.
"Kids," I walked past them towards the front door. They were up watching cartoons on the television. "I'll be back in a little bit. I'm going to see your aunt Ino so if anything happens, you know where I'll be. Ok?"
"Alright mom, got it." Shinachiku answered for them.
I blew them kisses and left out the door.
With last night's conversation with my son still fresh in my mind, I admit it's a little strange but I felt relief when he expressed his support for me to go back to work. And the fact that he idolizes me...me! I mean, it's Normy for children to admire their parents but me? After what's been happening before the time-reversal? And the fact that I would have never knew... Once again, I'm reminded how grateful I am to go and make things right..
Soon enough, I came upon my best friend's, always busy, flower shop. As the bell on the door rang, I was greeted with beautiful blue eyes that lit up just as mine did once we met.
"Sakura! You're here!" Ino came from around the counter and rushed to give me a tight hug. "It's been a few weeks. How have you been so far? Taking things slow?"
"I'm good actually. I just wanted to spend some time with the kids for a few days... But, I'm sure you've heard through our friends that I've been out more though."
"Yes! and I want to talk to you about that! Hold on, Sai!" She called out to him from the back.
"Yes ,honey?"
"Watch the shop while I talk to Sakura-chan for a second!"
"Sakura-san?" He questioned and quickly poked his head around the corner. "Sakura-san, is that you? It's...been a while."
"Hello Sai-san" I looked away in embarrassment.
"Come on." I felt Ino slightly tug on me pulling me along. I awkwardly wave at Sai before following his wife as he did the same.
"Sir sit sit!" She insisted. "Ok, how was it? Being out in the open? At the market place after years of isolation?"
"Well," I took a deep breath and tried to explain. "It was, to be brutally honest, a nightmare. I was so scared. I mean, I kept a conversation with a villager , wasn't long at all, but I felt like I was going to explode. My anxiety was acting up the entire time! I tried to calm myself down because everyone was looking at me, staring at me... I felt their gaze as if they were burning holes into the back of my head.."
"Well, I mean, it's been four years since you completely shut your self off from the public. Especially with you being the late Hokage's wife.. Then, suddenly, one Sunday morning, here is the first lady of the leaf roaming the streets so ,of course, they are going to stare."
"Yeah yeah I know, but still. And you know how bad it can get... Remeber that night after the funeral?"
"Yeah.. I remember." A sudden gloomy look overtook Ino's face. "That night was the worse I've ever seen you..."
My face mimicked hers. "Yeah, well.. a-anyways. It got worse after I ran into Hinata-san. She was so sweet ,as always, inviting me back to her house to catch up."
"Mm, I heard from her actually. She didn't want you to worry but she noticed how fidgety and anxious you were.."
"Yeah.. she didn't directly say anything but I knew that she knew which made me even more fidgety. But she constantly reassured me that it was alright so ,I guess looking back at it, it could've been worse. And then, while I was leaving, I might as well have had a heart attack when Kiba appeared out of nowhere... "
"She..," I could hear the hesitation in her voice. "She also mentioned those nightmares you have...well used to have? Is that true? You haven't had that nightmare since then right?"
"Ah... Well I had one but...it turned out surprisingly well in the end."
"What do you mean?"
"Well... It started out as...as sleep paralysis? I don't know really? I've had it before but that one right there...it felt different?"
Ino furred her brows together, obviously confused. "Different how? Was it not a shadow this time?" She questioned , referring to my past paralysis situations.
"No..no. He-I-It.." I felt my shoulders tense up as I recollect my memory of the other night. I was so...scared. My chest started to heave up and down more and more my hands... oh God I could feel them begin to shake a little. "Ah..um.." My mouth ran dry no matter how many times I moved my tongue around. No matter how much I tried, nothing would come out.
"Sakura." Ripped from my inner thoughts, I was little surprised to see Ino ,who moved closer to me when I didn't notice ,as I was in my own head, to hold me close and cover her hands over mine. "It's ok. I'm here." I began to shake as I laid my head on her shoulder. Warm stray tears fell from my eyes as I tried my best to explain one more time. "Now tell me, what happened?"
"It was him. Naruto, h-he was there. He was just smiling at the end of my bed and blaming me! Blaming me for his death and... And.."
Ino patted my back as I tried to find the words to describe what happened next in between hiccups. "He came closer to me, I tried to move but I couldn't! I just...I just couldn't and he a-almost touched me..but I felt something. Like a spirit."
Ino ,once again, furred her eyebrows together in confusion. "What do you mean a spirit?"
"A spirit." I looked straight in her eyes to let her know I was serious. "Naruto's spirit. I felt him...cover me, protect me from that...that thing. "
Ino's eyes were wide open at my experience. "No way..." She said in disbelief. "But...I believe it. He loved-loves you so much.. he did always say he's protect you." She gave me proud smile and I gave her a warm one back.
"Mmm. He did say that didn't he?"
I wiped my eyes as I removed my head from her shoulder, nervously laughing. God was it awkward to just break down like that...
"Sorry for...all of that."
"Don't be sorry." She smiled at me. "I'm your friend, I'm supposed to be the shoulder you cry on as you are mine."
"You're right. Speaking of," I cleared my throat before I explained the situation. "I'm...in between an opportunity and..I need your help. You know me better than anyone so..I really need your guidance on what I should do."
"What's the opportunity?" She asked as she moved her chair back to her original place.
"Well, I was think about.. going back to work..?" I trailed off.
Ino just about choked on air. "Head if the hospital? Chief medical ninja of land of fire? That job?"
"Ah yes?"
"...Are..are you sure? Because-"
"I know I know, you don't even need to say it. That's why I want to start out small, a little volunteer work. No hospital, just healing people who don't have the resources to get to or pay for medical bills."
"You mean that job with Neji and TenTen?"
"Yes."
"That's..."
"What? Come on with it, what so you think about it? About me going back into medicine?" I was so desperate for her answer. I just wanted her to spit it out!
"Sakura-chan, I think...I think it's amazing that yuh want to go back into medicine! It's your passion! But,"
"But?"
"But... I just don't want you to overload yourself. And I'm glad that you're thinking about your mental health. I want you to do this but I don't want you to have a repeat of what happened to your last patient.. you understand?"
The mention of my last patient made my shoulders tense up again. That's just another memory is rather lose. "I-Ino, trust me when I say I don't ever want what happened that day to happen to me again..."
"Good! Now, as for this volunteer thing, have you talked to Neji and or TenTen about this?"
"Well, no actually. Talking with Lee is how I learned about the whole thing.I wanted confirmation before I go talk about it to them."
"Oh? Well, now that you got your little confirmation, you should go talk to them and Lady Tsunade since she's the one who assigned it."
"Lady Tsunade huh?" I haven't spoken to her since my last day in the hospital. She came by the house a free times to check on me and the kids, mostly me, but that eventually stopped. "I'll... I'll talk to her."
"I'm serious build-board-brow," She teased. I missed that nickname. "You talk to her, it's been so long and yuh know she misses yuh and yuh know you miss her."
"Yeah yeah Ino-pig." I teased back. We both stood up and pushed out chairs in.
"Shut up." She grinned. "Listen, I'm proud of you. That trauma... It will past. Not in a snap but...it's going to pass. And I'm really proud of yuh for not letting it control you anymore." Ino moved in to give me a hug and said to me, "You do what yuh think is best for you. Ok?"
"I will. I will.."