As I crawled into the too empty bed, I was half expecting Eddie to follow me, but he never did. The last thing I wanted was to be alone with my thoughts in the dead of the night. As soon as my head hit the pillow and my eyes were shut, mental images of the altercation began flooding in. I was brought right back to the kitchen, trapped under the force of my father's hand. The anger in his face, disdain in his voice as he unleashed his mercy upon me. I could say I knew this was coming, that over time I became fully aware of what he was capable of, but I think a big part of me was still in denial that he would ever hurt me. I was still shocked he let it get this far. I didn't recognize my father anymore, the man I used to wait for by the door and loved more than anyone. Now I didn't feel safe around someone so spontaneously quick to anger. I wasn't sure if I'd ever see him the same way again, wasn't sure if I'd ever feel safe in my household again. What happens tomorrow, how am I supposed to go home and pretend like nothing happened, brush it off like I have so many times before? I don't think I can anymore.

I turned over in bed multiple times while trying to settle, but I eventually gave up on sleeping. I was comforted to know I was in Eddie's room, that he was just outside the door and I was in a safe space. But the room felt empty, incomplete without him. With each breath, I inhaled the smell of his shampoo that lingered on the sheets. I stretched out and imagined feeling him beside me, his limbs intertwined with my own. My mind wandered to what it felt like the last time we were in this room together. I imagined his hands on my skin, the taste of his lips, the way his words could drive me crazy. I knew if he was with me I could feel good, he could make all my problems disappear for a few hours, but it was more than just physical pleasure I craved. I longed for the closeness and intimacy we had shared in this room. Eddie was a beacon of comfort in the storm of my life. Chaotic and beautiful in his own way, but calming nonetheless. In this darkness, I craved his light. Without his warmth, the fall air was frigid.

I wanted to drift off to oblivion and just sleep, I really did. But with the images plastered behind my eyelids, and my body aching for closeness, I eventually gave into my own demands. I couldn't ride this night out alone. It was only 1:00am, a long way until the morning. I didn't want to subject myself to silent suffering when I knew my safety net was right outside the door.

I slipped out of bed and decided to go to Eddie. I would sleep on the couch with him if I had to. The bedroom door opened with a little creak of the hinges. There was a small stream of light coming from the living room. I tiptoed into the room to find Eddie was still awake, sitting up with The Fellowship in his lap. I watched as he focused on the page at hand, completely unaware of his surroundings. I watched as his hair fell into his face, and he tucked it behind his ear, lost in the story he was so familiar with. It is an intimate thing, to watch someone when they aren't expecting it. I could've stayed a while, absorbed him in this quiet comfort, but I didn't want to invade his privacy when he wasn't aware. It seemed only fair to announce my presence.

"No fair, you're reading ahead," I said, stepping into the light. He looked up from the book, not expecting to see me standing there, but greeted me with a small smile.

"You couldn't sleep either?"

"No, I couldn't shut off my brain."

"Want me to continue? That seemed to put you right to sleep the first time," He held the book up in one hand as he asked the question. I wanted so much more than to be read to, as sweet and intimate as that moment we shared was. I wanted to be close to him, I wanted to show him how I desired that connection. It was the fire scorching within me that dictated my next move. I answered by plucking the book from his hand and placing it down closed beside him. In what felt like slow motion, I placed my hands on his shoulders and lowered myself onto his lap, straddling him with either knee beside his waist. I was beyond subtleties, I needed him to know exactly what I was going for.

"Annie, what are you doing," he breathed once I was sat on his lap.

"I'm being needy. Come to bed with me." I said. My hands began exploring his bare chest, fingertips ignited by his warmth. I couldn't believe I had waited almost all night to touch him this way.

"I was trying to let you get some sleep." I knew he was being truthful, but it didn't stop his words from getting caught in his throat as my hands explored his torso.

"I sleep better with you next to me." I let my hands brush up and down his stomach, deliberate with my motions albeit a little shameless.

"If I went in there, I don't think you'd be sleeping. I'm trying to be respectful." He sounded stoic but I knew his mind was preoccupied with my hands. I knew from my first touch that he wanted the same things I did. Still, he had to pretend to put up a fight in my best interest.

"I don't need you to respect me," I said as I leaned down and began planting kisses along his neck. I was slow and intentional in my movements, using anticipation to my advantage. His waist shifted below me, and I could feel his desire growing.

He laughed. "And yet I do."

"Just come to bed. We don't have to do anything."

We both knew that was a lie, as was evidence by his arousal beneath me. I scooted in closer, allowing friction to assist in my pursuit as I continued kissing up his neck and jawline, precariously close to his mouth.

"If I come in there I won't be able to stop myself," he said, but even so he grabbed my hips and pulled me closer. I silently cursed the layers of clothing between us, which I found myself doing a lot lately.

"That's okay," I said, meeting his lips with the gentlest kiss. "Unless you don't want to…." I pulled back to meet his eyes. I was slightly worried by what I would find, fearing a final rejection after a risky attempt at intimacy. He sighed.

"Of course I want to, Annie. I just don't want to take advantage of having you here tonight and doing something you might regret." I could tell he meant it, too.

"I'm practically handing myself to you, and you're worried I'm going to regret it? If anything, I'm the one taking advantage right now," I argued.

"You can't take advantage of me if I want it," he responded. "But I'm more concerned with your safety than getting laid."

"I am safe, I'm with you." I said, with utter sincerity. I looked into his eyes and implored him to see that I was being truthful. He searched my eyes but didn't respond. I leaned forward to cradle his face in my hands and went in for another kiss. This time, it was different. There was still a sense of longing, a sense of need, but more vulnerability to it. I wanted to show him in this kiss that he meant more to me than just sex. That I valued closeness and connection above everything.

He leaned his forehead against mine and said, "how can I ever deny you?"

"I wasn't going to be able to fall asleep anyway. I just want to be with you. I don't want to think about anything but how good I feel when I'm with you. Even if we're just sleeping."

I guess those were the magic words.

Eddie pulled me close again, showing me with his actions that he wanted the same thing. We began kissing softly, but as soon as I opened my mouth to welcome his tongue, he stopped holding back. After a few moments he brought his hands up under my shirt, stroking them along my stomach until he reached my breasts. I moaned in his mouth as softly he rubbed his thumbs over my nipples until they were hard. He kept massaging me as I explored his mouth eagerly.

I could feel the tension below my hips as he was now fully erect. I arched my back to allow my waist to grind against his as I reached down to pull my shirt over my head. He brought his hands to my thighs and pulled me close until my bare chest was pressed up against his. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. I loved feeling his hot skin against mine as I leaned forward, pushing against him harder. He kissed me ferociously like he couldn't get enough of my taste. His hands explored my thighs until they entered the hem of my shorts and kept going, grabbing at my ass. He wasn't holding back, loving on every bit of me he could as he enjoyed this as much as I did.

"Eddie, I need you," I said, breaking our kiss with a sigh. I leaned back and brought my hands down towards the waistband of his sweatpants. I was desperate for the layers beneath us to be gone so I could connect with him.

"I'm yours baby," he replied. I didn't doubt it, but it was lovely to hear.

I slipped off his lap and stood up to pull off my pajama shorts. I don't know why I didn't want to be as so bold to take off my panties too, but I kept them on. I pulled on the waist of his pants until he lifted his waist and angled himself up to help complete the job, kicking off his sweatpants. There he was, completely naked on the couch, totally at my mercy.

I sat back down on his lap in just my underwear. I was trying to take it slow, but now that he was naked I had a new sense of urgency. I would fuck him right here, I didn't need to wait any longer. I was so desperate to feel him inside me, I reached down to slide my panties to the side and positioned myself above him. I almost inserted the tip of his penis before he abruptly stopped me.

"Hey, wait," He said, practically jerking away. I was worried for a second he had changed his mind before he said, "we need a condom."

"Oh," was all I said, relief flooding that he still wanted me. I was glad he was thinking clearly enough to be responsible, as my thoughts turned to mush when I was at the mercy of my hormones. He leaned in to quickly kiss me to ease the tension of him halting my progress.

All other thoughts drifted from my mind as Eddie hitched my legs closer around his waist and stood up in one motion. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders for more leverage as he carried me into the bedroom, never breaking eye contact. He walked in the threshold of the room, kicking the door closed behind him. I was practically tossed onto the bed as he tried to lower me down, but I didn't mind. He stood up to grab a condom, but I was eager to continue what we started. I could feel the ache in my groin as I longed to feel him. I decided to explore my own body as I slipped my hand below my panties. My fingers were slick with wet as I slid them inside myself.

Eddie caught my eye as he pulled the condom out of his drawer and realized what I was doing. He nearly froze, but a smile grew as he began watching me hungrily as I played with myself. I never broke eye contact.

"Are you gonna join me?" I said teasingly with a laugh, knowing he was loving this.

"By all means, I'd love to watch you continue," he said eagerly. He looked stupidly happy as he stood there completely naked.

"Fine, if you'd rather I do it myself…" I tilted my head back and closed my eyes, going deeper. Maybe i was being showy, but I knew he couldn't handle being left out for too long. I heard the condom wrapper open, and opened my eyes to see him rushing to put it on and get back to me. Eddie came back to the bed and practically ripped my panties off as he grabbed my hand and said, "let me."

"No," I said, taking his wrist in my other hand and not letting him touch me. "You lie down." I commanded.

He looked confused, but obliged nonetheless. He laid on his back as I rolled over and climbed atop him in a sitting position.

"It's my turn," I said, leaning down to kiss him quickly. When I was ready, I sat up and raised my hips until I was positioned just above his erection. Using my hand, I guided him until we made contact and I slowly lowered myself onto him. An involuntary noise escaped from his throat as I pushed him deeper inside of me. In a few steady thrusts, I fully enveloped him. I planted my arms on his chest as my hips controlled the rhythm. He kept his eyes on me, watching me writhe above him. I loved feeling in control as I dominated him. This time I let out a small moan as I deliberately moved at a speed that would allow me to enjoy feeling every ounce of friction and every inch as I slid up and down his shaft.

"Baby you're going to have to stop for a minute if you want this to last longer than two minutes," Eddie said, clearly enjoying himself but eager for it to not be over so soon.

"I will ride you until I come as many times as I want to," I said in response, never stopping my pace. I didn't know where this side of me came from but I also liked letting him know I was in charge tonight.

"Oh my god," he said through gritted teeth, grabbing my hips firmly and forcing me to stop so he could collect himself. I laughed.

"You can't say stuff like that and not expect it to drive me crazy. Just… wait," he said, breathing heavy. I stopped grinding on him, but leaned back down to catch his lips, showing mercy. He returned my kiss eagerly, desperate to explore my mouth and relieve himself from the tension building in his groin.

"I'm sorry baby, am I too much for you?" I said against his lips. I loved knowing that I had the power to drive him wild.

"You're incredible, just go easy on me" he said, kissing deeper and grabbing my bottom lip between his teeth. I responded by thrusting forward again. I wanted him to feel good but I also would have my way. I began moving again slowly, hoping he'd be able to hold out a bit longer.

He arched himself forward and pushed my torso up so he could scoop my breast and bring it to his mouth. This poor man was willing to do anything to distract me and make this last longer. But it was working against him this time. The angle of him arching towards me created an even deeper stroke inside me. I shuddered and almost lost my pacing as I could tell he was now hitting my sweet spot. I pulled his head forward as I continued thrusting, not at all quiet about how good this felt. He returned the favor by letting his tongue play with my nipple, licking and biting as he held my breast in his hand. I started shaking with pleasure as I rode him harder. Eddie pulled back from my breast as he watched me pick up speed.

"Right there," I whimpered as I desperately worked myself against him. I was close to climaxing and my muscles were contracting around him.

Up until this point I had been doing most of the work, completely in control of our pace. But Eddie couldn't resist any longer. I could tell my enjoyment was making him eager to please. He grabbed my hips for leverage and began thrusting up into me with an urgency I wasn't expecting.

"Fuck, Annie," he cursed my name, and I knew this wouldn't last much longer but I didn't mind in the slightest. He was looking down and watching himself pound in and out of me.

"Keep going," I encouraged, knowing he was about to bring me to climax.

"Goddamnit," he cursed again, and I knew that my words of encouragement were doing him in. He was getting me so close and I was desperate to finish with him.

"Eddie, I'm gonna come," I said, forcing him to look up at me. He never broke his pace, but the eye contact was enough to bring me to the main event. He looked so fucking sexy focusing on letting me finish first. The waves of pleasure came easy as I held myself up with a gasp and vocalized my delight. I felt him finish inside me moments after, also not quiet about how he felt.

I nearly collapsed on top of him, but steadied myself enough to bend down and give him a breathy kiss before rolling off and letting him slip out of me. He laid in place but wrapped his arm around me and I used his torso as a pillow as we both caught our breath.

After a few minutes of silence, our bodies still intertwined, Eddie disentangled himself from me flicked his nightstand lamp on. He got out of bed and disappeared into the hallway for a moment. He returned with a warm wash cloth and tenderly began cleaning me off. I was surprised at how sweet and intimate this act of affection was, that I may have once found embarrassing or too private. It was easy to be vulnerable around him.

When he was done cleaning me off, he grabbed a pair of his boxers from his drawer and slid them on. He then took another pair and slipped them over my ankles and pulled them up my legs and onto my waist.

"Wow, I'm getting the star treatment and I didn't even have to move," I said with a little laugh.

"I have to keep my queen happy, especially if that is my reward," he said, alluding to the act of service I had just provided.

"Yes well, the queen is satisfied and is considering staying for quite some time," I said, going along with his silly role play.

"Yes, my plan is working," he said, shaking his fist in victory as he flicked the light back off.

"Thank you, for taking care of me," I said holding my arms out to him as he got back in bed. He crawled into my arms and laid on his side towards me.

"Of course," he said, pulling me in and kissing the top of my head. "I'm really glad you came here tonight."

"Me too," I sighed. "I'm still worried about tomorrow, but tonight I'm happy." I said, which was the truth. I couldn't ignore the facts about what brought me here tonight forever.

"I'll talk to my uncle in the morning and we'll figure it out. If it's up to me, you're not going anywhere," he said sweetly.

"I wish," I said. But I wasn't sure that would be an option for me. However, I was getting tired again and didn't want to push the issue tonight, so I just said, "I really like being with you, Eddie. And I really like being with you," I said deviously.

"It's decided, I'm keeping you," he said, playfully wrapping his arms and legs around me in a death grip. I couldn't help but laugh as I tried to pry him off me.

"Now let me sleep already," I said with some sass, as if I hadn't been the one to come to him. He unwrapped his legs, pulling me close and kissing me tenderly goodnight, stroking my hair until I began drifting off. And in the moments before blissful sleep, I remember thinking that I was shamelessly falling in love with Eddie Munson.