Thank you for all reviews, faves and support! If any of you didin't receive a reply to your review, I apologize - I had a problem with it for a few days.

Thanks to my amazing beta Brelaina for her help. :)

Face Value

The next few days were not very pleasant. Leliana and Alistair still were not on speaking terms. Which meant Leliana was most of the time walking with Airam. Which made him quite irritated. Wynne's attempts to reason with the Chantry boy and Leliana had exactly the opposite effect. Morrigan was even worse, insinuating that he was jealous. Him, jealous. How utterly ridiculous. He was just bored, as he tried to explain to her, but she laughed at him. So the last three days he walked at the rear of their group with Sten. But despite his attempts to start a conversation, any conversation on any topic, all he managed to get from the Qunari were several 'No''s.

This made no sense. There was no reason for him to be this irritated only because Airam was talking with someone else. And obviously having good fun. Besides, it was his own fault he did not join those two. None of them told him to stay away. But he couldn't stand Leliana's laughter. She sounded exactly like a hen. He never noticed it before, but it was true. And all that romantic crap she was telling in that over-sweet voice of hers, it was not funny at all. It made his teeth and stomach ache as if he ate a whole jar of jam at once.

He sighed. Well all right, perhaps he was a tiny little bit jealous.

But only because he was missing Airam's company. At least there still were their evening trainings. They were the only bright spots in the otherwise dull days, but it was only one hour during which they had to, well, train. Airam was fully focused on his moves and steps, there was no time for idle chat and jokes. That still didn't mean he was in love like Morrigan suggested, yes? After all, the matter of love was one thing in which he and the witch agreed completely on. Love was sentimental nonsense. He thought he was in love once and look how it ended.

No, the only reason for this strange obsession with the crazy kid was lust. After all, he had had no sex for months. In the Crows, one month would be considered a punishment and a very harsh one at that. He shuddered. If he didn't do something, he would end up like Leliana. And once it was done, this weird obsession so unfit for an assassin would probably be over. They would have a nice little affair for a few weeks, or perhaps even longer, he wasn't against it. But it would be just that, one of many love affairs he had had. No more, no less.

It should have been easy. All that was necessary to do was to seduce the crazy kid… Airam was quite oblivious to all of his attempts for seduction, but he was sure it was only because he didn't really try. But that was the problem, no? He couldn't make up his mind and really do it. Especially after he found out there probably were some bad experiences in Airam's life. Perhaps it wasn't love, but he certainly did not wish to cause the boy any harm.

He sighed again, glancing towards Airam. Morrigan snickered.

This was ridiculous. He had to solve this mess. In a careful and sensitive way, of course. But it had to be done. As soon as possible.

oOo

The next day Airam finally forced the two fools to talk to each other. Alistair tried to protest, but under Airam's stern glare he stopped quickly. He had to chuckle. It never ceased to amaze him how authoritative the crazy kid could be when he wanted – no wonder they had him helping with the small brats in the Tower. And perhaps it helped him to perfect that glare, as well.

For the rest of them, this extra bit of free time was quite welcome. Nobody was eager to train or do anything useful. Airam retreated to the little pond just a few minutes away from the camp, with a book under his arm. He followed – this was the first time in days that the annoying bard was out of the way and he was not going to miss this chance. But Airam looked so at peace, sitting there and smiling at his book as if it was a beautiful woman, he didn't have the heart to interrupt him. Instead he just sat quietly next to the boy and watched him for a while.

There were some things he would never understand about this boy. He had to read a lot of books during his training, as well – and it was one of the reasons why it was such relief when the training finally ended. Why waste time reading about other people's lives and ideas when it could be spent on living his own life and making his own ideas? Then again, the boy looked so adorable like this. Watching him was quite enjoyable.

Airam put the book aside. "Do you stare like that at everyone?"

"Like what?"

"Like you did just now."

He chuckled. "No, not everyone. Only the most sexy ones."

"There you go again." Airam rolled his eyes and picked up the book again.

"But if it makes you uncomfortable… I will stop."

Airam looked up and their eyes met for a moment. After a second Airam turned away, the tips of his ears turning a lovely shade of pink. "You don't make me uncomfortable," he said quietly.

Why did it make him so fuzzy inside? He had had many lovers, but no one caused this whirl of strange and confusing feelings inside him. It was just lust, he reminded himself, but it wasn't so easy to believe it any more.

"Then I shall redouble my efforts," he said lightly, to get rid of those ridiculous thoughts. "I once knew a dancer in Antiva, and I managed to stare off all seven of her skirts."

"Good thing I don't wear skirts, then." Airam laughed. "Why would anyone wear seven skirts anyway?"

"Have you never seen… ah, why am I even asking? Of course you haven't. I think I will have to take you to a proper whorehouse once. Those are not the ugly woollen dresses that you see on common Fereldan women. Those were the finest silk, delicately wrapped around her, more stressing her beauty then really covering – and why are you smirking like that?"

Airam chuckled. "Because you sound just like Leliana when she was explaining to me why are shoes so important."

"Shoes?" He couldn't help grinning, despite the fact he was just compared to the annoying ex-bard ex-sister.

"Yes. Orlesian nobles wear silk shoes, see. With rich embroidery or a ribbon on the front. There was much more about them but she lost me there. I'm afraid I'm not the right person for a discussion on the finer points of fashion."

Yes, he could clearly picture Leliana talking in great detail about shoes. But told in Airam's dry tone, it sounded just ridiculous. And here I thought who knows what fun they were having together. He must have looked too pleased, because Airam tilted his head and narrowed his eyes.

"What? Don't tell me silk shoes are some horrible double entendre and I missed it?"

He laughed heartily. "No, no. I assure you, silk shoes are just that, a horrible expression of bad taste and impracticality. But if you find some double entendre there, let me know, yes? I would like to hear that one."

"Tch. It's just that one can never be sure, with you and Leliana," said Airam accusingly. "Now if you don't have anything else, I'd like to continue reading. I'm sure even those two won't take much longer and we'll be on our way soon."

"By all means." He shrugged and Airam picked up his book again. For a moment he just watched him – stared, as Airam had said, and doing his best at it, as well. But the crazy kid was determined to ignore him. It was most irritating. After a while he leaned over the boy's shoulder. It wasn't one of his spell books, he could say that immediately – those had big complicated pictures and diagrams and formulas.

"What is it you're reading? It must be very interesting if you're so eager to read it. Some new forgotten school of magic?"

"If it was forgotten, there wouldn't be a book about it," snapped Airam.

"What is it, then?"

"A book I borrowed from Wynne. You wouldn't care about it. So can you – hey, give it back!"

He danced away, avoiding Airam's clumsy attempts to get the book back, laughing. It was most unusual that the crazy kid didn't want to say what it was about. Normally he would describe it with shining eyes. So he had no other choice than to take it and check by himself, yes? He flipped through the book, opening it at a random page and started to read.

"Ehm-hm. Let's see. '"Ah, come, my fair lady. I see you're in need of a good visit from my codpiece, once again," says Garren.' Ohoho, what's this? I had no idea you had such racy books with you!"

"No – that's not – just give it back!" Airam was really blushing now – really blushing, more even than Alistair. He didn't think he ever saw him blush like this before. So of course he couldn't stop. It was too much fun.

"My dear Airam, I am truly hurt! I would think you would have shared this with me, no? And besides, I could tell you many more of such stories, if you wish, and in better quality than this – " he turned the book to read the name – "Rose of Orlais. I can promise you that. Or I could even give you some first-hand experience, should you wish."

"When pigs fly," snapped Airam, the wide grin belying his angry tone. "Now give it back or I swear I'll freeze you. And don't you dare mentioning this to anyone."

It probably wouldn't be wise to provoke the boy further – he had no wish to spend another hour or two as an ice statue. With dramatic sigh he bowed deeply and returned the book. "As you command, my fearless commander. But my offer stands, yes? I promise to tell you only the best stories I know. Most of them based on my own experience."

"Oh do shut up. I only took – borrowed – this from Wynne because I've read everything else already. I didn't know what it was about, but I hate leaving books unfinished. That's all there is about it. So you can wipe that stupid grin off your face."

"You've read all the other books? Including those in Bodahn's cart?"

"There are no books in Bodahn's cart, because someone insisted we should stock more ham instead," snarled Airam angrily. "And that we will find other books on our way – but as you surely know, we didn't."

Oh. Yes, he did say that, didn't he? He had completely forgotten about that. He tried to feel guilty, but found he couldn't stop grinning. "So now it is all my fault, yes? Such terrible accusations. I am truly hurt, you know. I was only trying to help. Correct me if I don't remember it right, but was I not promised love for my fealty?"

"What fealty, you silly assassin? You swore you would remain silent. And you haven't stop talking nonsense ever since."

"Ah, your words wound me more than a darkspawn blade. But, should you prefer me to be a silent companion, I shall do so."

"You, a silent companion?" Airam smirked. "I bet you wouldn't be able to remain silent for one day."

It was clearly a challenge and he would be damned to let it just pass. "Oho. You bet? And if I prove you wrong?"

"Then you can tell me one of those stories of yours everyday, until we reach Orzammar. But if you lose, you will ask Wynne to tell you some of hers stories – and you will be so convincing and irresistible that she will gladly do so until we reach Orzammar. And you must not cheat – no hiding away from the others till the rest of the day. All right?"

"Ah, what a devious mind you have. I like that. Very well, I agree." There was no way he would lose, especially with so much at stake – they would not reach the dwarven city for at least another week and he'd much prefer to spend them in the company of a crazy kid than in the company of a crazy old bat.

They shook their hands with solemn faces and returned to the camp. Alistair and Leliana came out shortly later, both looking grim but determined.

Airam quirked his brow. "All solved? You don't look very happy."

"Of course. Do not worry about it any more. We solved it all, right, Alistair?"

"Right. Well at least as much as it could," snapped Alistair.

He bit off the remark he wanted to say. Alistair glanced at him suspiciously. "What's wrong with him? I'd think he would have some stupid comment about it."

"I have no idea," said Airam in worried tone. "He's been like that all morning. I tried to find out but he's not responding at all. I wanted to ask you for help, in fact. Maybe he'll speak to one of you?"

Blasted little cheater.

oOo

He won. Barely. It was a real pain to remain silent, as the crazy kid was really doing his best to make him speak. But half an hour of Wynne's questioning and preaching was enough to give him all determination he needed. If he had to endure that for a week, he'd run away back to the Crows.

It was entirely worth it, however, especially as they had a little detour on their way to Orzammar.

They practically walked into the battle of a large group of darkspawn and some refugees. Mostly farmers, only a few of them had proper armour or weapons and even fewer knew how to use them. If they hadn't appeared, none of those people would survive. Even for them, it wasn't an easy battle. If they didn't have three powerful mages with them…

The leader of the refugees explained that they wanted to make a new settlement there. They couldn't have chosen a worse place. The Archdemon was perhaps not much of a strategist, but even a third-class general would understand the strategic importance of controlling the Gerlen's Pass – even their little leader understood that, for Maker's sake! Sten clearly thought the man was a fool and didn't try very hard to hide it.

Anyone else would think they already did enough saving their lives and healing them, no? But their little leader was not anyone. And so it was decided – despite Morrigan's protests and Sten's silent fury – that they would go with the refugees until they reach some safer place near the coast. It meant going back at least for three days and then returning here once again. He was most surprised that Wynne didn't protest – he would expect her to be against such delay, but she didn't say anything. Of course, Leliana and Alistair immediately agreed with the crazy kid, though Alistair seemed annoyed when he realised he had the same opinion as the traitorous bard.

He, of course, supported Airam. It really didn't matter so much if they reached Orzammar now or three days later. Erwin also recommended they act like heroes – and this was foolish enough to be considered heroic, no? Besides, he was sure Orzammar was not going to be much fun; from what he heard, it would be another round of boring negotiations with nobles. It meant he would have less time to be with Airam. So any delay was not really such a bad thing, as he saw it.

Leliana and Wynne found new victims for their education. His guess was the refugees suffered it only because they were worried Airam wouldn't help them if they refused. But who knew, maybe there were some people that it brought some consolation to. The Maker never seemed to care for him so he never cared much for the Maker as well. Sometimes he wished he was able to believe, to have Leliana's strong faith that everything has some sense, that everything was a part of some bigger plan the Maker had for the world, even if it was not understandable to people now. It sounded good, his eyes remained blind and his heart shut closed, as she accused him once.

Oh well. At least it meant he had Airam all to himself. He even took care to have his watch always right before or after the boy. Then they could be together all that time as well. Telling stories about Antiva or the Circle. Airam was both a great audience and a great narrator. How often they had to struggle not to burst out laughing and wake up the whole camp! Morrigan noticed and duly commented, of course. As if that meant he was in love with him. It only meant the crazy kid was the most fun of the lot.

But he still didn't find the courage to make an advance on Airam. He really wanted to... and not. Something told him that if he did, he would spoil everything and ruin that strange bond between them.

oOo

After they finally left the refugees at a relatively safer place, they and hurried to Orzammar as fast as possible. There were no more adventurers, if you didn't count a few of Loghain's mercenaries who probably caught their trail during their detour. Nothing too dangerous, just a minor break in their march.

When they finally reached the Mountain Pass, they found the gates to the dwarven city closed. Naturally. When did anything go according to their plans? It was already late afternoon and they were all tired, so Airam decided to leave arg- eh, negotiations with the gate keeper for the next day and rent a room in an inn in a village.

'Village' was perhaps too grand a word for it. There were only a few houses, a smithy and an inn, all built in the same funny way – with tall pointed roofs, eaves hanging over almost to the ground. He was surprised there were no real shops. The merchants who came to trade opened their stalls under tents. It didn't matter much now, the weather was still nice, but in the winter it had to be terribly cold and uncomfortable, to just stand there and wait till someone appears. Especially as it didn't seem there were many people coming.

There was only one other group of travellers staying in the inn, and it didn't take them long to find out they were the messengers for 'King Loghain'. The fools were complaining loudly about the dwarves – apparently the gate keeper refused to let them in as well. He wished the innkeeper did the same. Alistair almost jumped out of his skin when he heard the title Loghain was now using.

"Can't you wait with murdering them till tomorrow? I'm pretty tired right now, if you don't mind," was the only thing their fearless leader had to say about it.

"We should think of how we will get into the town," suggested Wynne, but Airam just shrugged. "We have treaties with the royal seal on it. I'm sure once the gatekeeper sees them, he will let us enter."

"Then why haven't we used them immediately?" Demanded Sten angrily.

"Because I don't know about you, but I'm not all that eager to enter a city which is built in a cave deep underground. It is probably dark and smelly and full of spiders. All caves are like that. Always. Remember that."

He laughed at the crazy kid's wise expression. "Oh? And you know this from your own experience, yes? The Tower is full of caves, I assume?"

"There is one, where Enchanters grow herbs and mushrooms and stuff. I went there, once. To kill spiders."

"Nonsense. I am sure there are no spiders in Orzammar," said Wynne. "It is an ancient and majestic city. Isn't that so?" She turned to the barmaid who brought them dinner – a stew of nug meat, whatever that was.

"I'm sorry. I have no idea how it is in Orzammar. I've never been there. But it wouldn't surprise me if there were spiders," said the maid indifferently.

"There! I told you. I know we have to go into that hole, but at least we can have a proper rest first, right? So go to sleep early tonight, we'll be getting up early tomorrow. I want to get into the town before those Loghain idiots."

Unfortunately, one of said idiots was passing by their table just at that moment. He stopped and glared at Airam, making a strange grimace. It took him some time to realize the man was probably trying to look menacing. If so, it was a total failure.

"You've got something against us, brat?" He asked loudly. The rest of his friends immediately looked in their direction.

"Me? Not at all." Airam widened his eyes innocently. "What gives you the idea?"

"Don't play stupid. I heard you. You mentioned 'Loghain idiots'. "

They roared in laughter, but the poor confused fool still didn't get it. "And you recognized yourself in that? Why? Is that your name?"

"That is enough!" The leader of the fools strode to their table, and glared at Airam, also trying to look menacing. And failing at it just as splendidly as his lackey. "I don't know who you are, stranger, but you should show more respect. I am Imrek, a messenger for His Majesty, king Loghain, the ruler of Ferelden. We represent the will of your ruler, so –"

"Pleasure to meet you, ser Imrek. Now let me introduce ourselves. I am Airam Surana, a Grey Warden. The guy to my left is also a Grey Warden as well us the rightful heir to the throne, Alistair Theirin. Unlike the old fart, who's only the father of the king's widow – "

He didn't get any further. The fools attacked them. Or rather, they tried. They were paralysed and frozen before they could pull out their weapons. It was some time since he enjoyed kicking someone's asses so much. And judging by the reactions of the others, they enjoyed it just as much.

"You're pathetic just like your false king." Airam glared at Imrek, now kneeling by his feet, held down by Sten. "Go back to Loghain. Tell him the Grey Wardens send their regards. And that he should try a new tactic. The hired wannabe assassins won't work – no offense, Zev. I meant those guys from a few days ago."

"None taken, my friend. But I believe that before you let these fools go, they should pay the damage they caused by provoking this fight, no?"

"Of course. Sten, will you please make sure that they pay for everything? And then see them off. I think they shouldn't waste their time any more. Or ours."

Imrek opened his mouth to say something, but one look at Sten was enough to change his mind. It was true. Sten could be very persuasive when he wanted, even when he didn't say a word.

oOo

It was after dinner, when they retreated to their rooms that he almost ruined everything.

With Imrek and his guys gone, they could take their rooms as well, but even so there were not enough for all of them. They had to sleep in twos – and it was decided he would be in a room with Airam. It caught him off guard. Until then, he was always staying with Sten, if such a situation occurred. Airam was always with Alistair. He had no idea what might have been the cause for the change... but he liked it. Perhaps it meant Airam also wanted the same thing as him, no?

"I'm so tired." Airam threw himself on the bed. "I'm really glad this is the last treaty. All this walking and fighting is getting on my nerves. "

"I might know something that could help," he suggested.

"Hm? An extra strong sleeping potion?"

"No, that is Wynne's area. My solution is... more pleasurable."

"What is it, then?"

"I was thinking of a massage," he said lightly, trying to sound confident. Truth was he had never been that nervous. "An Antivan massage, more precisely."

"An Antivan massage?" Airam sat up and looked at him suspiciously. "What kind of massage is that?"

"The kind one only learns growing up in an Antivan whorehouse," he explained with smile and immediately saw Airam tense. "You do not have to worry. I'm sure the techniques I picked over the years will please you."

"Zev. Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

The boy got up and came closer to him. He seemed to be a bit nervous and perhaps even scared, but that was understandable, and it would soon dissolve into pleasure. Or so he thought.

"Answer me, Zevran, Maker damn you. That massage – you're offering yourself for sex with me?"

"Why that worried face? You deserve some fun –"

Airam hit him. Punched him right in the nose. Well now... that definitely wasn't how he imagined this. He backed away a bit, but it didn't seem Airam wanted to hit him again, though he was still angry. Probably offended by such an offer coming from someone like him. It hurt. Much more than his nose.

"I am sorry if I offended you," he said quietly.

"How could you, Zev? Is this is how you see me? Like one of those disgusting Crow masters?"

He stared at him, totally nonplussed. What was that supposed to mean? "Of course not. I just thought you might like to have some fun –"

"And so you offered yourself? Like a slave would to his master? Like some cheap elvenwhore?" Airam spat those words, as if they were the worst insult in the world. "You're not a slave, Zev. I know the Crows treated you like one, but you're not a Crow any more! You're my friend! And I won't let anyone put you down like this! That includes yourself as well! Do you understand me, Zevran? Don't let me ever hear or see you humiliating yourself like that! Never!"

Strange. It was the first time in his life that angry shouting made him feel... safe. And warm inside. Airam was defending his dignity. He wasn't sure if he had anything like that left, but it still felt good. In fact, never had any rejection felt so good. For the first time in his life, someone saw him as a person. Airam saw him as a person. His Airam valued him for other things than his skills as a whore and a killer. He felt tears pricking in his eyes and blinked.

Airam stopped shouting, suddenly looking worried. "What is it? Does it hurt? Come here, let me heal it."

It took him a few seconds to realize Airam was talking about his nose. He chuckled. "Don't worry. It's all right. I've had worse."

"I'm so sorry, Zev. Here I am, talking about not being the same as the Crow Masters and then I hit you." Airam was avoiding his gaze, embarrassed. Embarrassed. After saying the most beautiful words anyone had ever told him. He had almost forgotten how impossible this crazy kid could be. He quickly closed the distance between them.

"Please, my friend, don't apologize. I... I deserved it."

Airam looked into his eyes and whatever he saw there made him smile again. "That you did. Silly assassin."

"But I still think we should start working on that terrible temper of yours."

"I am working on it! And I made huge progress already! Or you'd be an ice statue now, you know."

They both laughed in relief. They joked and chatted and played cards as if nothing happened. Only later, when they went to sleep, did he try to sort out the mess in his mind and heart. He... still desired the boy, yes. But he also wanted to protect him, to care for him. To make sure he was happy and safe. Did that mean he was in love? He lay in bed, staring into the darkness. Was this love? If so, it was different from how he imagined it.

He didn't know. He didn't care. As long as he was with him.

The soft whimper from the other bed interrupted his thoughts. He learned long ago that this meant Airam was firmly asleep. And having nightmares again. He got up and moved to the boy's bed. Sitting down on the side of the bed, he gently ran his fingers over the boy's hair. It was strange.

The last time he was sitting like this at someone's bed he had a dagger in his hand. What was the man's name? He couldn't remember. He shivered, suddenly feeling cold. Airam really shouldn't trust him so much. Who was he kidding? He was an assassin. And a whore. What the crazy kid said was nice, but naïve. He was beyond the chance for redemption. It was too late; he could not change.

Airam whimpered again, just as he wanted to leave. He sat down again, gently caressing the boy's cheek.

"Shh. You're safe. I'm here. I'm with you, amore mio."

Perhaps he could at least try.