A/N: Here it is, the big chapter.

This may be triggering. There's no self-harm or violence or sexual assault (and if that changes I'll let you know before each chapter). But this will explore the dynamics of depression.

The Worst Couple

Beck whirls around in the driveway at Jade's words. "You what?"

Jade glances anxiously towards his parent's house. There are no lights on but they've just gotten out of school and the afternoon light is still enough that his parents may be home anyway. "Can we just go inside?"

Beck rolls his eyes. "Like my parents don't hear us fighting all the time?" He bangs his hand against the RV. "It's not soundproof." Jade glares at him as she stalks past him and pushes the door open. She slams it in his face when he follows her. "What the fuck, Jade?"

"Yelling at me in the middle of the goddam street, that's bullshit." She hisses.

Beck sighs as he holds up his hands. "Fine. I'm sorry." He points his finger at her. "But how could you keep that a secret from me?"

"It wasn't a secret." He rolls his eyes. "It's my decision! It's my life!"

"You need help."

"I got help." Jade crosses her arms over her chest. This is why she didn't tell him.

"You didn't even try therapy! And now you're telling me you stopped taking your medication two weeks ago and never bothered to tell me?"

"I don't have to tell you!" He would never understand.

"You're right. You don't. But since I'm fucking in love with you, I'd love the heads up."

Jade shrugs. "Too bad."

They stand in silence for a long time. Not the 60 or so seconds that people usually endure before becoming uncomfortable. No, they stand there for 10 minutes before Jade declares, "I'm going home."

She grabs her bag that she dropped by the door and storms out.

"How are you going to get home?" He yells after her.

"I'll take the bus!" Sure. she'd have to wait 30 minutes for the next one and transfer 4 times just to get close enough to walk home but it's better than letting Beck drive her.

Jade grabs Beck's hand as they slowly filter out of Sikowtiz's class. She can feel his annoyance before he even looks at her. "Cut it out."

Beck raises his eyebrows at her. "Excuse me?"

"If you're mad at me, be mad at me but have the decency to shut up about it in class."

"You're mad at me for causing a scene and putting our relationship woes on display? Are you kidding me?"

"I have never brought up any of our real fights in school ever." Jade glances around at the people walking past them.

"I haven't said anything."

Jade rolls her eyes and then hisses through gritted teeth, "Don't talk to me the rest of the day."

Beck runs his fingers through his hair as he watches her walk off. There's a part of him that wants to go after her. Wants to apologize and tell her he loves her but he can't bring himself to do it. He knows she has a point but he can't keep this bottled up anymore. He just can't.

"It's one extra sugar! Not even. It's half an extra sugar!" Beck ignores the uncomfortable looks their friends give them. He knows they shouldn't be fighting at lunch like this. It's not fair to their friends.

Jade mocks, "It's half an extra sugar."

"You're a child." Jade makes a face at him. "Seriously?"

Jade raises an eyebrow. This isn't like Beck. Getting into fights like this in public. Or rather feeding into the fights. She yells all the time but he doesn't usually take the bait. They're both so irritable lately though that everything sparks some sort of fight. The way he chews his food, where she puts the toothpaste, the radio station in the car. Literally everything. She knows it's getting out of control. It already is out of control but she can't figure out how to stop it. It's her fault really. She's been irritable for weeks. Irrationally irritable at everything and everyone and Beck took it for as long as he could but then he snapped and they haven't been able to find their way back ever since. "Seriously?" She parrots back to him.

"You never listen to me!"

Beck stabs his fork into his fried rice. They'd planned to go out to dinner tonight but they'd started fighting immediately upon getting back to his RV after school and so they'd ordered delivery instead. "That's complete bullshit." Jade throws her hands up but Beck ignores her. "All I do is listen to you. I listen to you talk about your family and cry yourself to sleep and obsessively talk about things that make you anxious."

"But you don't listen." She doesn't know how else to say it. Doesn't know how to explain to him that every time he pleads with her to go back to therapy or tells her she just has to be patient while they find the right medication it creates another wall around her heart. It's just more proof that he doesn't understand. Will never understand. Will never be able to just let her be. He's always going to want more from her. "You don't listen when I tell you-"

"You're the one not listening! You don't even know my parents are getting divorced!" Beck freezes as he tries to process what's just come out of his mouth.

Jade goes rigid. "What?"

Beck sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. "Sorry, I didn't-"

"No. You can't blame me for something you didn't fucking tell me. That's not my fault."

He looks at her helplessly. "How was I supposed to tell you?"

Jade stares into his tired eyes. "You just were."

"We were voted worst couple."

Jade rolls her eyes. "It's a stupid game show." She can feel his stare burning through her but she ignores him, looking for a parking spot instead.

"We were the only couple."

Jade growls, "I know. And if I was stupid enough to not know, you've said it 4 times this morning on top of the 5 times last night." Jade shoves the car into park a little too hard. For a change, she'd driven them to school and she's spent the last 45 minutes wishing she'd never picked Beck up. In fact, she shouldn't have come to school at all.

"How does that not bother you?"

Jade sighs as she takes the keys out. "I don't care what people think." With a pointed look, she adds, "Unlike some people."

Beck scoffs. "That's not what this is about and you know it."

Jade gets out of the car and slams the door shut. She walks over to Beck's side just as he's getting out. He's still whining about the game show as he hands her, her backpack. "Shut up! Just shut up! I'm so tired of talking about this."

"We're not talking, we're fighting."

Jade glares at him. "Then let's stop. You're the one always complaining that all we do is fight." Instead of waiting for his answer she turns around and walks into school by herself. This is one of the stupidest things they've ever fought over. More stupid than which way the toilet paper should go or whether to use fabric softener. Both fights they've had multiple times this week.

She's almost at her locker when she feels Beck come up behind her and grab her wrist. "I'm done talking about it!"

"No, we're not."

"He's kidnapping me. You all see it. Kidnapper! Kidnapper!" Jade shouts hoping that causing a scene will cause Beck to drop it. "Let go!" She hisses as he pulls her into the closet. "Kidnapper."

Jade follows Beck up Tori's driveway, dragging her feet. He's insisting that all their friends are having poker night without them and he's intent on proving it to her. It's not that she doubts him. They are all probably in there playing cards. She just doesn't care.

He waits for her to join him at the door before stabbing the doorbell harder than needed. Again. And Again. She doesn't need to look behind Tori and see all their friends in order to know he was right because Tori's face says it all. "See, they're all here. I told you they'd all be here."

Jade hears Tori start to ramble behind her and prepares herself to pretend to be oblivious to why their friends wouldn't want to be around a screaming couple. Not so surprisingly Tori can't get it out and so Andre says it for her.

She spits out the appropriate retorts for her character and prays that Beck will either drop it and sit down at the card table or let them go home. When it seems like he wants to truly fight it out here, she throws a pillow in Trina's face and demands Beck take her for food. If he wanted to fight some more, that was fine by her but she was tired of having superficial fights in front of their friends while internally pleading with Beck not to slip up in his anger.

In her frustration, it didn't even occur to her that Beck might not follow her outside. Not because she had faith in their love or in him but because they'd been doing this so long it was a script she didn't have to think twice about. It's not until after she says 10 that she realizes she's not surprised. She always knew he would leave her eventually. No matter what he said, he was never going to put up with her baggage forever. No one was.