A Promise and a Lie

Eventually, the hand came off and the dream faded away. His thoughts flooded back his mind and Harry realised he knew everything he needed to know.

The Prophecy

The Horcruxes

How to destroy them

As to where to find them, Dumbledore could not help him.

Did he even want Dumbledore's help?

'Yes, you do…'

Every lesson Harry had learned this year, from the power of knowledge to the intricacies of the mind, to name but a few, had been mastered long before he was born by the man in which he had once put all his trust. By the time Harry would understand a new piece of information, Dumbledore would have already planned a strategy based on it and maybe three others to back it up.

'You could rely on him then. After all, isn't it what you wanted?'

Harry glanced at Dumbledore who was looking at him with worried eyes.

'Does it still hurt?' Was the kind question.

It did, but it wasn't his scar or his forehead. It wasn't even physical. It was his doubt that Dumbledore would still stand besides him should ever learn he was an Horcrux. It was the harrowing realisation that, in the end, Tom was right even though Harry still wanted to believe he could blindly trust the one he could have once called his mentor. He felt a familiar unpleasant tingling on his left hand.

'No,' was the lie.

'I see,' Dumbledore replied with a softness that tore Harry's heart apart. He then let the silence fill the room while gazing at the fire. He didn't need to look at the boy to sense his guilt and the seething battle between his conscience and himself. Time went by and the questions he expected never came. He dared a glance towards Harry and found him staring into space, sadness and resolve mingling in his eyes. What had the boy discovered that he, Albus Dumbledore, ignored?

'Is that all you wanted to tell me?' Harry asked abruptly.

'Not necessarily,' Dumbledore answered while hiding his surprise. 'I suppose you have many questions and I'll answer each of them to the best of my ability.'

Naturally this revelation should have raised questions from him. But given what he already knew, for Harry the Prophecy was just the last piece of the puzzle. He was aware that not being shocked by its revelation would make Dumbledore suspicious, but he didn't care anymore.

'Why bother?' Harry asked while standing up. He walked to the curtains and peeked through them. The snow was still falling, and he shivered at the idea of going back outside to continue his journey.

'Why bother asking questions if the future is already written anyway?'

'What makes you think it is already written?'

'Well, I think Prophecies are a pretty good example,' Harry replied irritated. 'And… I don't know it's just a general feeling I can't explain. I always am the last to know about things that directly concerns me. Why my parents were killed, why I am famous, Sirius and now this?' He finished with a dismissive tone.

'Fate is unfair, but it is not unnecessarily cruel. You always have a choice,' Dumbledore said sympathetically.

'Please tell me what choice I have here?' Harry turned his angry look towards Dumbledore. 'It's nothing but an illusion of choice. I get to be killed or I let a Dark Lord live.'

'Killed?' Dumbledore repeated while raising an eyebrow. 'The Prophecy warns about a fight, but it doesn't state its outcome, does it?'

'I have no chance of winning against him! None!' Harry blurted, aware of his faux-pas.

'Harry, you don't have to be alone in this ordeal. You've got friends who are willing to help you. I am willing to help you.'

That was the only logical conclusion for someone who didn't know what Harry was. Therefore, it was pointless to continue this argument. However, if Harry gave this information away, he knew that his friends would spare no effort to try to find a solution instead of focusing on finding the remaining Horcruxes. Well, provided he wouldn't be immediately caged away like he had been all summer. Besides there was the risk of having Voldemort learn about it which would lead to more difficulties.

'There is something you're not telling me.' Dumbledore added with a disarming softness. 'I won't force you to reveal it to me, but I want you to know that regardless of what you decide, from now on, I shall always stand by your side. No matter the consequences.'

'What if I didn't get to decide? What if there's something wrong with me? Something evil? And don't tell me that such a thing wouldn't happen, it already has!'

Dumbledore considered him a few seconds with an undecipherable look. Harry bit his lips, it was the second time he was betrayed by his temper. He took a deep breath to calm himself down.

'There are a lot of things I would like to tell you,' he conceded with a tired voice. 'But I just can't.'

The impassive face of the Headmaster creased and a veil of sadness and resignation covered his eyes. When he spoke, it was to ask a question to which he already knew the answer.

'Harry, do you trust me?'

When Harry looked at Dumbledore, the monster stayed huddled where Harry had banished it.

'I used to, and I still want to,' he replied calmly.

Dumbledore stood up in his turn and approached Harry.

'You never deserved to be manipulated, however good my intentions were. I cared so much about you, I thought I had been sparing you, but in reality, I was selfish. I want to you to know how ashamed I am for the way I behaved. Harry…' He paused as the rest of his sentence seemed to elude him. But no fancy words were needed here. 'Harry, I am sorry.'

Harry found nothing to answer. Which was probably for the best as he was quite certain that any attempt to speak would have broken his resolve. His hand clutched the curtain he had been holding and he forced himself to stay focused. Deep down he wanted to forgive and give in, but his lips remained sealed. Dumbledore covered the distance between them, and Harry froze wondering what he was up to. The Headmaster raised his arm and his hand brushed Harry's one in a gesture intimating him to let go. Harry's hand fell alongside his body and for the moment where Dumbledore put the curtain back in place, he realised how close they were to each other. It would have taken only one simple movement for Dumbledore to take the boy in his arms. As Harry was wondering how he would have reacted then, Dumbledore spoke again.

'But as powerful as words can be, they often are meaningless if they are not followed by action.' He lowered his gaze to look in Harry's eyes. 'You're not coming back, but that doesn't mean I can't help you.'

He slowly raised his hand again and approached it to the boy's head. He stopped midway, asking silently for the permission with his eyes. Harry had no clue about what he was about to do but, in the moment, he felt a surge of faith and lowered his head. The hand rested on his head and the serenity came back. His body relaxed completely, and he could have fallen asleep on the spot if a sudden sensation of something missing hadn't seized him. However, it wasn't bad, strictly speaking. If anything, it felt like a weight had a gone away.

'What did you do?'

'I removed the Trace,' Dumbledore smiled while removing his hand from Harry's head.

'You can do that?!' Harry exclaimed while Dumbledore was heading back to his chair. 'Won't the people in the Ministry know about this?'

'Not until they see you perform magic and notice no alarm detected it.'

Bewildered, Harry raised his arm, and a book flew from one of the shelves to his hand. He then waited a few seconds under Dumbledore's mesmerized look. When had Harry learn to use wandless nonverbal magic? There had been no struggle from the boy to summon the book. He could have expected such ease from his professors or the most gifted seventh years, but a fifth year… There were many things indeed that the boy was hiding.

'There something else I have to return to you since you won't be coming back to Hogwarts next semester,' Dumbledore added.

Harry looked at him curiously as he went to one his shelves and opened it. He turned back to face the boy who couldn't believe his eyes.

'While visiting the Professor Umbridge's office, I noticed she was keeping many students belonging. This broom was part of it. I believe it is yours.'

Harry retrieved his precious Firebolt with gratitude. He felt his eyes sting.

'She let you take it?' He asked in disbelief.

'For one, Professors do not have the right to confiscate the students personal belonging unless it constitutes a threat to the school or its inhabitant. Otherwise, it is theft,' Dumbledore stated. 'Had I been aware of her deeds, I would have intervened earlier.' His eyes lowered on Harry's scarred hand. Frowning, he added in a voice so low that Harry wasn't sure it was meant for him to hear: 'One of the many things I wished I could have done differently this year.'

'So, you're really going to let me go?'

'You grew a lot, Harry,' Dumbledore said after a short silence. 'I wish I could have witnessed it.' He sighed. 'It is not my place to tell you what to do anymore. I'd be grateful if you could stay at least tonight, nonetheless you are free to go.'

'Why would you be grateful?'

'Because you would then offer me the certainty of knowing you are safe for at least one more night,' Dumbledore replied simply.

Harry nodded while looking away. The sting in his eyes was now more persistent.

'There's a room for you upstairs if you accept my invitation,' he added gently. 'I'll leave you alone now, Harry.'

His jaw clenched, Harry swallowed and tried to take as many silent deep breathes as he could before he allowed himself to look at the Headmaster again. But when his eyes finally turned towards Dumbledore, all they saw were two empty red armchairs and a dying fire.