Humanity's Strongest Woman

by xDollfie

In every empire, there is an epic era that defies the boundaries of time and immortalized itself in the history books. For mankind, an epic era they will never forget has finally emerged. The war between humanity and Titans has finally come to a head. Love cease to exist in a time like this, but they found it, and promised that it'll be worth it. Every stubborn inch of it [LEVIXOC]

11. Special (1)

A/N: So I'm guessing you guys must be wondering what the fudge is a Special chapter?

Well, seeing that there won't be much humor in the upcoming expedition, I guess this chapter is here to provide some sort of comic relief as well — just think of it as an OVA or an Omake. I mean how do you even make things hilarious when the characters are at risk of being eaten by Titans?!

I had a lot of cute and funny ideas in my mind during the time Squad Levi was staying at the hideout, but I never got to include them in a chapter. Some of them are also cut out from a chapter. So I thought, heck, why not just make a special that includes drabbles and funny scenes?

All these scenes did happen, and there might be references to it in the future.

REVAMPED: 5th May 2017

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Humanity's Strongest Woman by xDollfie

Chapter Special (1)

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Overly-attached.

Erwin Smith frowned when he entered the room, stunned at the sight of the Eren Yeager standing dutifully beside a stone-faced Levi slouched on the chair. Placing his files on the long table, he turned to the elite Captain.

"Levi..." he began in a low voice and then pointed towards Eren who instinctively hid behind his Captain, "What is he doing here?"

"Supervision," Levi answered plainly, crossing his arms. "It's my turn to babysit him today because Ida went to town to restock her supplies of candy. And apparently, that shitty brat threatened him to not even stray 3 feet away from me. So, to cut things short, I have this annoying twerp sticking to me all day, even to the toilet."

Erwin was appalled beyond words, but he cleared his throat. "Levi," he began calmingly, despite the vein popping in his head. "I hope you do understand that this is an important meeting and he can't be in here. Plus, I don't think the poor boy enjoys tailing you around."

Levi frowned, his tone suddenly dire and serious. "Do you know what the hell is going to happen to us if Ida ever found out we disobeyed her orders — especially on a day when she visits the candy store? I will not have a whining sugar-rush brat hollering insults at me all day and Yeager would probably have his Titan ass handed to him."

The blonde said nothing but leveled him down with a stern glare, and Levi scowled deepen as he elaborated further, "That annoying brat is still pissed at Eren for destroying half the castle and she wouldn't even take a second chance at giving him some freedom."

It wasn't because Levi was afraid of Ida, but he would very much prefer not to hear her obnoxious screeching voice breathing down his neck a while he worked. Eren nodded vigorously beside him, agreeing with his Captain whole-heartedly. The newbie learned quickly that no one wanted to offend Ida after she came back from the candy store. If she was hot-tempered on a normal day, a sugar-rushed Ida was ten times worse.

Erwin slapped his face into his hands, wondering what had happened to the cocky and proud Captain that he once knew. "He can't stay in here Levi..." he insisted, trying to remain calm. "We have important things to discuss."

Sighing in annoyance, Levi stood up and gestured for the teenager to leave the room. "It seems that you can't stay in here Yeager, just stay outside and wait," he commanded and Eren paled.

Eren had wanted to protest since he wasn't exactly confident that he wouldn't go berserk, but it took just one last seething glare from Levi for him to bolt out of the room.

Hanji and Mike walked towards the meeting room a few minutes later, darting a nervous glance towards Eren squatting on the hallway floor by the door, hugging his legs towards his chest and looking unbearably nervous as he rocked back and forth. The poor boy was sweating bullets at the thought of being caught by Ida.

"He looks like a lost puppy, doesn't he?" Hanji commented, laughing. "It's like he's having withdrawal symptoms from being too far from Levi."

With a fanatical smile, she bolted into the room, waving her hand at a scowling Captain already seated in his seat, "Hey Levi! It seems you left your pet outside!"

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Brows.

He was going to do it this time.

Erwin Smith stared at himself in the mirror, frowning in determination. He wet his hands under the running sink and pushed his blonde hair back neatly, paused, and then ran his wet fingers through his perfect brows, neatly pushing down any stray hairs.

Even his brows needed to be perfectly groomed as well.

But something was wrong today, awfully wrong — his impeccable brows just didn't look... perfect today. In fact, there was an annoying singular stray hair that wouldn't fall perfectly align with the shape of his brows. He sighed, realizing that his eyebrows were scheduled for their usual trim again.

Walking over to the cabinets in his toilet, he extracted a sharp razor.

He headed back to his mirrors and with great concentration, he slowly etched the razor closer to his eyebrows. Erwin couldn't afford to mess this up, he simply couldn't. Though it was no known secret in the legion he had great brows, many didn't know that the usually composed Commander had a slight phobia whenever something sharp came near his eyebrows.

A sweat slid off his forehead. "Your name is ErWIN not ErLOSE!" he suddenly hollered to himself in motivation — but before he could shave off that stray eyebrow strand, the door slammed open and he jolted from shock.

"Oi ErLose," Levi frowned, hearing everything he was saying outside. "That idiot four-eyes is looking for you."

Erwin cleared his throat to regain his composure, and turned around, facing the rude intruder, "Where is she?" he asked calmly.

To his utmost surprise, however, Levi's eyes widen slightly and he snorted in amusement, hastily averting his eyes away. "At your office," he stated plainly, sounding like something had been lodged in his throat.

The blonde was troubled by the uncharacteristic smirk on Levi's face, but he paid it no mind. Something good probably happened to him, he guessed, like he managed to get some Eren to clean the entire rooftop or something.

"I understand," he sighed, walking past Levi by the door and into the hallway. It was time to get back to work, he prepped himself encouragingly, praying that Hanji wasn't looking for him because of a minor matter again.

Erwin could still clearly remember how Hanji had tried to desperately persuade him to give her the green light to conduct an investigation on Eren's fecal matter and he shuddered at that thought.

Suddenly, he spotted a redhead coming down the hallway and he cleared his throat, "Ida."

She stopped, slowly bringing her eyes to meet his. Erwin had half expected her to scowl and stalk off as she usually would whenever he tried to talk to her, but this time, Ida frowned instead, looking very much confused.

"How have you been?" Erwin went on in a composed tone, glad that it wasn't betraying just how anxious he was feeling — why did he get the feeling that everyone was looking at him oddly?

Ida shook her head and scoffed. "I guess old age has finally caught up with you, huh?" she sighed and walked away, mumbling 'senile old fart' underneath her breath.

Now, this had him confused — what did she mean by that?

Shaking his head in confusion, he decided it was better to contemplate on that later. He walked off and headed to his office. To his surprise, however, Hanji wasn't there. He exhaled sharply, already dreading his meeting with her, and just on cue, the door burst open with a loud slam, emitting the very person from his thoughts.

"ERWIN!" Hanji cried frantically, "EREN, HE — HE — HE FINALLY MANAGED TO TRANSFORM!"

She fell to her butt that instant, heaving from having sprinted down from the other end of the headquarters and to Erwin's office. Erwin simply nodded calmly, poured her a glass of water, and bend down to hand it to her.

"What happened?" he inquired in a composed tone, trying to get her to calm down.

Hanji snatched the glass from him and placed it on her lips, allowing the water to flow to her parched mouth. However, the instant the saw Erwin's face clearly, she choked on a boisterous laugh, spitting water directly at Erwin's calm face.

"PFFFT! BWAHAHHAA!" Hanji furiously choked on a series of coughs and laughs. "W — WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!"

A vein popped in Erwin's head as he tried — desperately might he add — not to throttle the squad leader on the spot. Instead, he composedly wiped the water mixed with Hanji's saliva off his face, heaved loudly to calm himself, before he demanded an explanation in a steely voice.

"What are you talking about exactly, Hanji?"

The squad leader with clutching on her stomach now, still trying to catch her breath, "Y — YOUR EYEBROWS!" she cried, tears stinging her eyes.

"What?" Erwin gasped, storming over to his office desk and grabbing the photo frame on it to use it as a make-shift mirror.

He paled when he saw that half of his eyebrows were cut off.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Soap.

"Levi..." Ida came out from the toilet, a pink towel wrapped in her hair as she approached the unsuspecting Captain in her room who was too busy in his newspaper to notice her murderous aura. Snatching his newspaper away rudely, she glowered at him, "What did you do?!"

"What the fuck do you want?" Levi's eyebrow twitched at her sudden accusation, violently grabbing his newspaper back from her.

"…Where is it?" Ida demanded in a steely voice, gritting her teeth in frustration. "What have you done with all of my SOAP in the toilet, Levi?!"

"Soap?" Levi repeated with a frown, trying to understand what had gotten her so pissed so early in the morning. Then something clicked in him. "Oh, you mean that shitty pink bottle in the toilet that smells like strawberries?"

"YES! That pink bottle in the toilet, you retarded midget!" Ida screeched, growing frustrated at his indifference. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH IT?!"

"I gave it to Eren," Levi answered, unfazed by the angry redhead in front of him. "The castle ran out of cleaning supplies, and the courtyard was filthy."

Levi glared at her for her audacity, but Ida's nostrils flared, not at all intimidated. She was upset that her body wash was completely gone to the very last drop. She had expected an apology coming from her Captain but Levi simply didn't even look the slightest bit apologetic.

Ida exploded that very moment, grabbing the newspaper from him again and smacking him right on the head. "Do you even know how much that cost?! AND YOU GAVE IT TO EREN TO CLEAN SOME SHITTY COURTYARD?!" she hollered, nearly losing it. "How is that possible for a crazy clean freak hoarder like yourself to run out of soap?!"

Throwing the newspaper in his face, she stormed out of the room to loan some body wash from Petra.

"Tch," Levi scowled, grabbing his papers sliding off his face. "That damn shitty brat."

However the next day, Ida was surprised when she saw the exact same pink bottle of soap placed neatly on the cabinets on her toilet. Grabbing it, she smirked when she realized it wasn't empty.

"Guess you aren't that bad after all," she mused to herself.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Weird habits.

"Again?!" Ida stated exasperatedly, she waited for them to nod in affirmation before she, infuriated beyond means, stormed away from the rest of the squad. "This is the last time I'm taking this!" she shouted to the air, making her intentions clear.

"Ida! Calm down!" Petra chased after her, leaving behind Eld, Gunther, and Oluo who sighed in dismay as they watched her go to confront their Captain.

Ida ignored Petra's pleas, her mind concentrated on one thing only. Slamming open the doors of the dining hall, she spotted her target sitting idly by the table, looking as bored and indifferent as ever.

"Levi, where is my cloak?" Ida approached him in the dining hall, her eyes narrowing down in a frown. "And Petra's jacket, Oluo's shirt, Eld's socks, and Gunther's gear straps!"

Levi looked up from his teacup calmly, "I don't know what the hell you're talking about."

Ida slammed her hand on the table, glaring him down — this wasn't the first time the squad's found out that an article of their clothing went missing. To be honest, Ida had suspected Oluo was pulling a prank on her but after a while, the squad came to a conclusion on who the culprit was after realizing that their missing items were usually the dirty ones.

"Where. Is. My. Cloak," she said through gritted teeth. Ida wasn't going to buy his lies this time, she had known all too well that Levi was the culprit, who else would have stolen her cloak?!

"...I washed it. It's fucking filthy," Levi admitted unabashedly, growling in annoyance. "I'm surprised you even let such a filthy thing touch your skin."

"And what about my jacket too?" Ida sneered, her eyebrow twitching in irritation at Levi's uncanny habit of stealing his squad member's clothes to wash them.

"I washed that too."

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Misunderstanding (Part 1)

"Ida, open your legs."

"Ugh, not now Levi. Can't you do that later?"

"Now, that's a fucking order."

"Fine."

Eren fidgeted nervously outside the Levi's and Ida's shared room, gasping and blushing wildly at what he had accidentally overheard. He had come to report to Levi that he had finished cleaning the dining room and that Eld was urgently looking for him. Flustered and embarrassed, Eren turned his heel and ran towards stables where the rest of the squad was, leaving the two to carry on with their 'business'.

"Done, now close them," Levi ordered, his words slightly muffled by his cleaning mask on his face. He swept the remaining dust from underneath that couch that Ida was sitting on, annoyed that her legs were blocking his broom from reaching underneath the couch.

Ida rolled her eyes, crossing back her legs, holding onto the romance novel that she was reading before she was rudely interrupted by her Captain. She glared at him. "Tch, what the hell are you staring at?" Levi growled. "Shouldn't you be cleaning?"

"You don't have to clean the room every day you know." Ida sighed, closing her book. "Honestly..."

Back at the stables, a frazzled Eren with a red blush still prominent on his cheeks nervously approached Eld, nervously wondering how he was going to explain the circumstances to him. "Uhm... Eld-san..."

"Oh, Eren. Where's Captain, isn't he in his room?" Eld turned around, halting his conversation with Gunther.

"Well..." Eren fidgeted nervously. Twiddling with his fingers behind his back, he avoided eye contact.

"What are you blushing so much for?" Gunther noticed that the young boy was nervous. "You don't know where his room is? We need to find him urgently. One of our horses has fallen ill and we can't do anything without permission."

"I know where his room is, but..." Eren mumbled, chewing on his lips. It was just too embarrassing for him to explain. "H — He... is currently busy right now..."

"Busy?" Eld frowned, confused. "How can that be? He had finished all his paperwork, hasn't he? What did he tell you?"

"I — I didn't exactly speak to him..." Eren held onto his arm, not liking the way his conversation was headed to. "But... he is just busy."

Shaking his head, Gunther clamped a hand on Eld's shoulder. "Look at that flustered boy, he probably forgotten his way around the place and is too embarrassed to admit it. I will go call Captain Levi myself," he offered.

"YOU CAN'T!" Eren shouted, grabbing onto Gunther before he could leave the stables. Eld and Gunther stared at him in astonishment at his sudden outburst, looking at each other before questioning the boy.

"Why not?" Eld inquired.

"B — Because..." Eren stuttered, not knowing if he should spill what he had overheard. When he heard Gunther sigh and walk away, he shut his eyes tightly, praying that Levi wouldn't kill him for telling. He had no other choice! "H — HE IS BUSY DOING PRIVATE THINGS WITH IDA-SAN NOW!"

The words took a while to sink in and process in their heads.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" Eld and Gunther shouted in unison and grabbed Eren, shaking him vigorously.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Oluo emerged from one of the stalls, a mischievous smirk on his face. He smirked wickedly, stabbing his broom on the wooden floor. "PAY UP ELD, GUNTHER! I told you didn't I? This is be expected for Humanity's strongest soldier! He could even take on any woman! Even that obnoxious redhead, no matter how formidable she is! HAHAHA!"

Grumbling, Eld and Gunther unhappily dug their hands into their pockets for spare change to pay up their losses in their bets, their mind scarred with the revealment that Eren had unwillingly bestowed upon them.

"Who would have thought that those two..." Gunther grumbled in annoyance, handing over his coins.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Misunderstanding (Part 2)

"Oh god, I am starving." Her stomach growled loudly at the thought of a steaming bowl of hot vegetable stew for dinner.

Levi snorted beside her, lifting his teacup up. He made a disgusted face. "As expected from a shitty pig like you."

Ida glared at his insult, slamming her cup down on the table. "I'm not a pig, you little midget punk!"

Over the other table, the rest of the squad fidgeted nervously, eyeing at the couple on the opposite table. "Are you serious Eren? About them? I just can't process it in my mind!" Eld hissed urgently towards the newest recruit who simply nodded in reply nervously.

"Do you think they are dating in secret?" Petra added, in disbelief that Ida would actually get into a relationship with the cold and abrasive Levi. She had always thought that they disliked each other.

"Hoho! I told you brats, didn't I? Captain Levi is the man!" Oluo hollered, pumping his fist up in the air in victory.

"Oluo, why the hell am I the man?" Levi questioned coldly, overhearing everything that the loud and obnoxious man had said. Ida frowned, looking at the rest of her squad suspiciously. They had been rather reclusive and secretive since yesterday, did something happen?

Oluo froze, paralyzed in terror. Petra and the rest hid their face in their palms, secretly cursing Oluo for being too loud. They should have known that Oluo with his loud mouth couldn't keep a secret.

"What are you guys talking about?" Ida inquired, observing that they looked relatively stressed out.

Petra, being the closest to Ida, stood up and dragged the female towards the other corner, away from the boys. "What are you doing, Petra?" Ida questioned with wide eyes, allowing herself to be dragged away.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" Petra immediately questioned, holding on excitedly onto her arms. "We're both girls, aren't we?! I thought we were closer than that!"

Ida was bewildered. She shook her head. "I'm afraid I don't understand what you're trying to say..."

"Tell me..." Petra's eyes gleamed mischievously. "How was he...?"

"He? Who are you talking about?"

"Captain, of course!" Petra said a little too excitedly.

Ida blinked in shock, still trying to grasp what she was going on in the gingers' mind. "Oh! You're asking about what I think of him?"

"Duh!" Petra said, not knowing that Ida had completely misunderstood her question.

She frowned and clasped her arms around her chest, pursing her lips at her question. "He's as dominating as ever, that little bastard, ordering around all the time." Petra slowly turned a bright shade of red as Ida continued on her elaboration in a neutral tone. "But, don't feel sorry for me, it's isn't like I don't enjoy it. I'll take on any challenge he throws at me. He thinks he can break me, stupid cocky midget bastard."

Levi clenched his teeth, the girls' conversation was loud enough for the entire room to hear.

"You scream and complain all the damned time," he thought back to the time when he had ordered Ida to clean the stables, she came back an hour later smelling like dung and screaming that she had enough of his insane cleaning obsession. "Not that much of a challenge if you ask me."

"I did not do that!" Ida snapped back sharply.

The rest of the squad paled as they listened to their conversation. Eren, being the youngest and most innocent, stood up and ran out of the room in embarrassment awhile Eld merely shook his head, his thumbs rubbing his temples. "I can... never look at them the same way again..."

Ida did not like the tone of the blonde's voice. "Is it really that surprising that I think of him this way?"

The rest of the squad nodded silently, leaving Ida to ponder over their answer. Levi frowned, "You guys really have nothing better to do than to think of crap every single day."

The redhead nodded her head in agreement. "Yeah, we've been like this since day one."

Wasn't it common knowledge to know that both Levi and her did not get along by now?

"For that long?!" Gunther gasped, turning even paler at that thought.

"HAHAHA! Captain Levi really is Humanity's strongest soldier after all!" Oluo laughed out obnoxiously, slapping the back of a pale-faced Eld. "I told you didn't I, you little stinking brats! You should've listened to me!"

Ida went back to her seat beside Levi, frowning as they watch Oluo accidentally bit his tongue while laughing, blood spurting out over the table. She turned to an emotionless Captain, "They really are acting weird today..."

"Tch. As noisy as bickering children." Levi grumbled, sipping on a steaming cup of tea.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Mornings (Part 1)

Ida was never the most alert in the mornings. Even though a year of getting up before the sun was even up to clean had granted her the ability to pretend to be awake and aware, most of the time she was extremely fatigued and couldn't even think straight (hence her desperate need for sugar). Nowadays, the schedules were, fortunately, more lenient thanks to the latest addition to the squad, but it still took her sometime in the morning to really wake up.

She yawned, stretching her arms up as she trekked into the dining hall to prepare her morning tea.

She instinctively took two cups, placing plenty of dried tea leaves into a pot. She knew that Levi liked his tea strong. Speaking of which, she wondered how that man had his energy — he was always awake before her (no matter what time he slept last night). In fact, Levi held the record of being first up in the squad, and from what Ida had noticed now that they were sharing a room, he slept the latest as well.

But Levi never looked fatigued. Though there were evident eye bags underneath his eyes, he was always extremely observant and sharp regardless of the amount of sleep he had. How else could he have zeroed in on the dirty tables that Oluo tried so desperately to hide under some table cloths?

It had become a routine thing for Ida to prepare their morning tea. Apparently, Levi had found a new way to torture her by commanding her like his personal waiter, ordering her to retrieve his tea as well as his meals.

However, Ida was feeling spiteful today as she thought back to the times she had to run up and down the stairs to fetch whatever he wanted. With a mischievous smirk, she added some salt as a special addition to his morning tea.

Satisfied with what she had done, she took the two steaming cups of tea and walked up the stairs to his private office. Not bothering to even knock, she pushed open the doors.

"Oi, I have got your—"

She stopped midway when she saw that Levi was sleeping in his office chair, his hands interlocked around his belly a while he snoozed. It was the first time she ever saw him taking a nap, and honestly, he didn't look like the intimidating man he had made himself to be, he seemed rather… docile…

Peering speculatively at his sleeping form, she placed his cup of tea on his desk. "Tsk, what is he thinking? Sleeping at a place like this?"

Her eyes started scanning around Levi's neat and organized desk, eyeing the large stack of remaining paperwork with thinly veiled disdain. Was this the reason why he had to wake up so early in the morning all the time?

"You should've known better than to take time out of your already busy schedule to clean," Ida voiced out softly, staring at his calm and peaceful face. She felt somewhat empathetic with his situation, knowing just how stressful and time-consuming his job is. "Why can't you just sleep earlier, you idiot?"

A devious plot came into her mind when she realized that he was too knocked out to even respond to her. Giggling like a little girl, Ida picked up his quill and ink and began to work her masterpiece.

Oh well, if anything, she could blame Eren for this mess anyways.

It was his fault for allowing her to see him in such a vulnerable state in the first place.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Mornings (Part 2)

A sharp knock on the door caused him to jolt out of his seat. Vividly awake, Levi mentally cursed himself when he realized he had fallen asleep. Clearing his throat, he focused his attention on the closed door.

"What is it?" he said evenly, glad that his voice wasn't showing any signs that he had just woken up.

"Captain, I have some—" Gunther broke off, his jaw nearly dropping to the ground when he saw the state of his elite and intimidating Captain's face. In fact, he would've doubled over on the floor laughing if it wasn't for Levi's searing demanding glare.

"What?" Levi demanded, his patience trickling.

Eren strolled in shortly after, but he too was sent paralyzed to the ground in pure shock when he laid eyes on Levi. With shaking hands, he pointed towards his Captain's face. "S — Sir! What happened to your face?!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Growling, Levi opened his drawers to retrieve the small mirror he had kept in his drawer.

Bringing the mirror up to see just what Gunther and Eren were talking about, Levi tried to maintain his cool and calm composure when he saw a badly drawn mustache in ink around his mouth, but in truth, his insides were boiling in fury and vengeance.

Eren gulped and nervously scooted nearer to Gunther, sensing the malicious aura streaming out of the silent man behind the desk.

Levi's mind immediately shot through a list of possible suspects. At first, he had wanted to blame the newest amateur in the squad. But after seeing Eren's frightened and appalled reaction, Levi had come to the conclusion that there was only one other person capable of orchestrating such an immature prank.

Fortunately for him, the culprit's voice flowed through the windows a few seconds later, "Petra, let's go training today!"

Instantly, Levi shot out of his office chair and bolted towards the open window behind them.

"You fucking shitty brat!" Levi screeched through the second-floor window, glowering with immense hatred at the mop of fiery red hair at shone in the morning sun. "Ida Starke, get up to my fucking office now!"

Ida doubled over in laughter when she saw Levi's hilarious state. She stuck out her tongue and quickly grabbed Petra and made a run for it.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Party (Part one)

"Good afternoon, guys!" Hanji bolted into the room without warning, as energetic as ever. "I know it's your off day today but… I have something planned for you guys!"

Moblit popped his head behind her, waving sheepishly at the stunned members of Squad Levi. Ida held back a sigh, wondering what had caused Hanji to suddenly pay a visit to the castle where they were holding up Eren. Clear in her disinterest, she continued to sip on her tea in silence.

"Squad leader Hanji!" Eren called out, shocked (and frighten) at her uninvited appearance. He had learned quickly never to ask her about her experiments that that unfortunate incident where Hanji made him stay up all night just listening to her express her fascination about Titans.

"Is it a special mission, Hanji-san?" Petra asked with a bright smile.

"Something planned for us…?" Eld repeated, clearly not liking the sound of that.

"If you're looking for the Captain," Oluo spoke with a bored expression. "I'm telling you, he ain't here. He went out to town."

A fanatical gleam entered her eyes the moment she heard that, looking frighteningly ecstatic. "Good! Good! It's all turning out exactly as I planned!" she stated loudly, clenching her fist and shaking it in the air. "It would be far more convenient if he isn't around!"

"I won't have you perform any wacky experimentations on Eren," Ida reminded her pointedly, sensing the frightened boy shrinking in the corner. Eren threw her a thankful look and she shrugged it off.

Unfortunately, Hanji wasn't listening to Ida at all. "Mobilt quick!" she told him frantically, making quick work to take advantage of the situation. "Bring it in while that asshole isn't around!"

"Y — Yes Squad leader!" Moblit gulped, shooting out the room that instant.

The rest of the special operations squad had exasperated looks, as though to mentally say 'What the hell have we gotten ourselves into?'

"Whatever you're planning, it's troublesome," Ida stated immediately, glaring at the brunette. "Stop dragging people into these silly ideas you have."

Hanji ignored her, eyes gleaming as she popped her head out of the door and shouted for Moblit to 'hurry up before the shortie comes back'. Finally letting loose on her exasperated sigh, Ida shook her head in defeat.

"I — I got it!" Moblit came back with large boxes. "But Squad leader, wouldn't it be better to inform Captain Levi about this? He's in charge of this place after all…" he pointed out sheepishly. "He'll get upset if he learns of this..."

Hanji dismissed his concerns with a wave of her hand. "Nonsense! Erwin already approved of it!"

Petra stared curiously at the large boxes, taking one from Moblit and opening it up.

She gasped. "Oh! This is…?" she trailed off and passed the box to Eld, and the blonde took a peek to the content of the box, eyes widening when he what was inside.

Intrigued, Ida scooted closer to him, peering in what was inside those boxes. She frowned at its contents, swinging her accusing eyes to Hanji. Levi would never approve of this. Hell could freeze over before he would.

But the brunette merely smiled at her, not acknowledging her concerns. "We don't have time! Let's hurry everyone!"

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Party (Part two)

Levi Ackerman sighed when the large castle came into his view, but he instantly felt his mood lighten up by the time he saw the brown bag that hung on his horse's saddle consisting of tea leaves which he had recently purchased at the market. Hopefully, nothing had happened when he was gone, like Eren transforming or something — he expected the castle to be as spotless as he had left it.

However, when no one came to greet him at the stables, Levi knew something had definitely gone wrong and his suspicions were only confirmed when he saw Ida sitting down at the castle's entrance steps, her head downcast.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded, wondering why she was out in the cold. He immediately zoomed in on the bottle of alcohol in her grasp. "Tch."

Slowly, Ida lifted her head when she heard him and he noticed the prominent fatigue in her expression. "You're back," she said in a strained voice. "Hanji paid a visit when you're gone."

His frown was immediate. "Hanji? Why the fuck did that shitty glasses come to my castle—"

He broke off, finally noticing the white cone-shaped party hat badly doodled with mini-figures of Titans stuck to her head. Ida threw him a tired knowing look when she saw him staring at it, dejectedly sticking her lips to the bottle. "…You guessed it, she's throwing a damn 'Welcome to the Survey Corps party' for Eren…"

Her words were slurred and she held onto her head to ease her pounding headache. She had thought that some fresh air would help her, but it had only made it worse.

Drinking out here was way better than being in there though.

Levi scowled when he saw the state she was in. "Fucking shitty glasses, playing with my squad members," he grumbled under his breath, then tapped her head. "Oi, can you walk?"

She nodded, but her movements were slowed. "It's noisy as hell in there and that four-eyes was forcing everyone to drink. I'm fine though."

"Get up, go back inside," he told her flatly, and then he noticed the once empty laundry line just outside the castle. "Who did the laundry?"

"Eld and Petra…" she answered. "Oluo, Eren and Gunther put up the party decorations. Moblit and Hanji were in charge of preparing dinner... It's was chaos but they said they wanted to take some of the work off your shoulders and that you should just sit back and relax."

"Tch," Levi's expression darkened, pulling Ida to her feet none-to-gently. "Why the hell would they do something as unnecessary as that?"

The pair made their way into the castle and Levi heard Ida sighed exasperatedly again as if she would much rather not be inside. He had pondered the reason, but just as he was about to ask, the answer was clear to him when they reached the dining hall.

A vein popped in his head as he absorbed the scene.

"ERENNNNN!" Hanji cheered boisterously, slinging her arm over his shoulder and ignoring how stiff he was. "You would give me a sample of your fecal matter would you?"

"Hanji-san, you're spilling your drink all over the place!" Petra exclaimed loudly in horror. "Captain would've a fit when he comes back!"

Levi slowly sucked in the scene in front of him. The place was utterly filthy with party strings thrown all over the hall, messy painted Titans doodles on the walls, and food and broken glasses were littered all around the place. There was also a huge badly-done banner hanging from the on top of the hall with the words 'WELCOME TO THE SURVEY CORPS, TITAN BOY!' as well.

Eld was taking care of a worn-out Moblit at the end of the table who was mumbling that 'Hanji was a monster in the kitchen', and Gunther off to the side, was obviously drunk based on the red flush on the cheek and he was busy stuffing himself with the widespread of food on the table. Oluo, on the other hand, was having the ball of his life. With blindfolds on, he tried to break open the Titan piñata that Hanji had made during her free time with a bat.

"A — Ah Captain!" Petra gasped when she spotted him, frozen to the ground in shock and terror at the mess.

Upon hearing that name, Oluo felt a chill run down his spine as he quickly took his blindfold off.

"Levi, come join us!" Hanji exclaimed brightly when she saw him, not caring about the dangerous glare he was shooting towards her. "Oh, don't look at me like that! I got permission from Erwin!"

Upon hearing that, Levi threw a scathing glare at Ida's direction and she merely shrugged. "I swear I had nothing to do with this."

He sighed exasperatedly, rubbing his temples as a dangerous glint touched his eyes. Petra and Oluo gulped in horror at that sight. "Clean this mess up," he ordered after a while when he saw that they were holding their breaths. "Now."

He moved to berate Hanji next but when he saw her nonchalant hopeful expression, he gritted his teeth and decided that there was no way anything he would say would get into her head. Without another word, he stormed through the dining hall to the other end where the hallway to the rooms was.

It was all too late when his squad spotted him attempting to swing open the half-open doors.

"CAPTAIN WAIT!" Eld shouted in horror, rushing over to stop him.

SPLASH!

"…the door is rigged…" Eld continued in a small voice, extracting his hand back.

"BWAHAHAHA!" Hanji laughed boisterously. Meanwhile, Eren stared wide-eyed at his drenched Captain with a bucket on his head. The brunette laughed until her stomach hurt and she banged her fist on the table. "Oh my god! That was meant for Eren!"

Levi pushed the bucket off his head with the tip of his finger, turning around to the members of his squad. Everyone froze at his death glare, but Ida merely bit back a snort. Deciding to step out of here before Hanji got her ass handed to her, she finished her bottle and threw it to the side.

"Oi," she said, moving towards Levi. "Go get changed."

With a dark malevolent look etched on his face, the rest of the squad began knew Hanji days were numbered when Levi — too frustrated and angry from what had happened — left the room without another word. It was one thing when Levi loses his temper, but it was frightening when he stays silent.

After a shower, a fresh change of clothes, and a secret vow to never let Hanji step into the castle again, Levi stepped into his office. Ida was sprawled out of his couch, her hand covering her eyes.

"What are you doing here?"

"It's noisy below. No one will dare to come into your office after what just happened so this is the safest spot," she answered plainly. "I have a headache and Hanji wouldn't leave me alone."

"Tch," Levi scowled, moving his desk to continue on with his paperwork. "Get out of my office, I have work to do."

"I did them for you already," Ida said languidly when she saw him picking through his papers. When he threw her a surprised look, she elaborated. "Everyone pitched in on something to do — the laundry, cooking, throwing the party… They only went with Hanji's plans because they wanted you to relax you know? So don't be too hard on them for going with Hanji plans. I didn't have any roles assigned to me… so I did them for you."

She groaned as she sat up on the couch. "It's the only damn reason why I have a headache. I don't see how you can sit through something as boring and tedious as that without trying to rip all your damn hair out."

Levi blinked, but kept his unamused expression when he saw that every paperwork and report was complete as she had said — done correctly, might he add. Ida was never one to take on responsibilities, preferring to bolt out the door and hide somewhere at the first sign of work, so it was alarming to him that she actually did all these.

Still, even if he was impressed, but he wasn't going to show it.

With nothing to do right now, he eyed at Ida on the couch, who was busy rubbing her temples and trying to nurse her headache. "Go to your room and rest," he said flatly.

"What for?" Ida countered sardonically. "You'll wake me up again to clean the mess shitty glasses made, might as well stay up until the damn party is over."

He snorted, thinking to himself how right she was — Ida knew him well after all. He glanced over at her and saw how tired and worn out she looked. Well, it was to be expected — having to sort through all these wretched stacks of paperwork and handle a fanatical Hanji at the same time? Even he would be nursing a throbbing headache as well.

"I bought some tea," he offered before he could stop himself. "It'd help with that headache of yours."

Ida threw him a dubious look and he moved into hastily correct himself. "Stop staring at me. If you're going to be an ungrateful brat, then get out of my office," he scowled fiercely at her, slightly upset that he even offered to share his precious tea leaves with her out of good-will.

He was silently shocked when Ida only gave him a tired sincere smile, "Actually, tea sounds good. Thanks."

Downstairs, Hanji had finally passed out on the floor dead drunk, much to the relief of Squad Levi members who were finally free of her clutches. As Moblit tried to wake her up by telling her that they needed to go back to the headquarters, Eren nervously stood beside Eld.

"Eld-san... Should we ask Captain what we're supposed to do next?" he asked, moving towards the door.

"No!" Oluo grabbed him before he could move out of the room and turned him around hastily. "If you go now — you'd definitely be obliterated!"

Eren blinked, looking to Eld to for answers. The blonde sighed and offered an explanation, "Ida is not here right now, she's probably with Captain… And that means that they are either in the middle of a quarrel…"

"Or that they are in the middle of something else…" Oluo added with a smirk for good measure.

"Something else?" Eren repeated for clarification.

Oluo scoffed and slapped him on the back. "If you don't understand that, it means you're just an underage brat!"

It took Eren awhile to realize what they were saying, and when it finally dawned upon him he gasped and his cheeks flushed. "O – Oh!" Horrified, he remembered that incident when he had overheard them a few days ago.

Eld sighed, shaking his head. "Well, we should probably be cleaning this mess up now. It's the Captain off day today, so you probably could hand him your report later or tomorrow."

"You gotta learn fast if you're going a lot of you're going to survive here, brat," Oluo sneered, handing the flustered boy a broom. "Let's finish cleaning this shit-hole up and head to bed, we have a long day tomorrow training."

The next morning, however, as Levi emerged into the dining hall, he was greeted with an appalling sight of all the members of his squad — save Eren — with their heads on their tables as they groaned and grunted in agony all awhile clutching onto their stomachs.

"What the fuck is going on?" he demanded immediately, he knew things were fishy when Ida had gotten out of bed earlier than him.

"S — Sir!" Eren turned his head to him but continued rubbing Gunther's back. "Everyone had upset stomachs after yesterday… I think it's a series of food poisoning."

"Food poisoning?" he echoed, frowning when he spotted that even Hanji and Moblit (who had stayed over last night) were also groaning in pitiful agony.

"Why… the hell are you spared?" Ida grumbled bitterly, lifting her head weakly from the table to glare at him.

"Because I'm smart enough not to eat any damn food that shitty glasses makes," Levi scowled in displeasure, noting that it was going to yet another unproductive day and the plans of cleaning the courtyard had come to stop. Glaring at Hanji on the other table, the woman was reaching out to Eren weakly.

"L — Levi…." she managed to mumble hoarsely, sweat building up on her forehead from her intense stomach ache. "I — It's…. amazing! Eren is unharmed…! I knew it... I told you Titan's had stronger stomachs than we did, didn't I?!"

"Squad leader…" Moblit mumbled weakly beside her. He barfed and tried desperately not to puke before his face took refuge to the table again. "Please… get some rest…"

He emitted a loud irritated exhale as he watched Hanji pathetically trying to get her claws on Eren. "It appears that the whole lot of you brats have fallen victim to wacky Hanji's experiments."

Levi was so sure that Hanji had only hosted this party in the guise of serving contaminated food to them in hopes of proving that Eren, a Titan shifter, did indeed have a stronger stomach than regular people.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Ida's closet.

Levi stood by the tall wooden closet, a towel wrapped around his waist as he contemplated over his choices.

Because of Eren destroying half of the castle because of his uncontrollable Titan powers. Levi and Ida had come up with three rules a while they lived together as roommates.

First and foremost was the most important of all — no intimacy. Of course, he had never once thought of doing anything towards the obnoxious redhead, though he admitted that she was a very attractive woman and had the tendency to wear revealing tops, but he wasn't going to stoop that low.

The second rule was his favorite, and of course, implemented under his firm orders; everything was to be kept clean and pristine. Ida Starke was a repeat offender in this rule, leaving out her dirty laundry around the chairs and throwing her sweet wrappers on the floor. Levi had made it a point to reprimand her every morning because of this and to issue an appropriate punishment in hopes that she would remember. But it got to a point that the elite Captain had concluded that there was no way the redhead had the capacity in her useless brain for learning.

The third and final rule was to respect each other privacy. He had another ordered Eld to bring another closet into the room so that they could separate their belongings. This rule, of course, meant that they weren't to peek into each other personal storage.

But a dripping wet Levi Ackerman contemplated on breaking this rule. He had run out of body wash halfway throughout his afternoon shower and it just so happens that his backup storage of body wash went missing. He suspected Ida for hiding it as revenge for using her soap without her permission. So now here he was, soaking wet with just a white towel wrapped around his waist as he eyed on his roommate's closet, knowing that there was definitely an extra bottle of body wash in it.

Raking his fingers through his wet hair, Levi muttered a curse before swinging Ida's closet door open. Hell to it, he was the superior and elder here, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted. He regretted it immediately when countless packets of sweets fell from the overflowing closet, causing him to step back in shock.

"What the fuck?" he grumbled. "Who the hell keep these many sweets in their closet?!"

"This must be the damn reason why she runs out of the money all the time..." Gritting his teeth, he pushed the packets of unopened candy out of the way with his damp feet and dug through her closet.

Levi had never seen such a disorganized mess in his entire life. Out of instinct, he wanted to pick up his cleaning supplies immediately and clean up. He had come to realize that Ida was a weird girl. As cold and unapproachable as she looked, Ida's closet had a weird and wide array of different useless items ranging from dirty soft toys, different colored animal printed socks that Levi knew she wore underneath her boots and even... an old bicycle wheel and an extra horse saddle? How the hell did that even get in here?

He stared at it in dismayed shock, before shaking his head and continued his scavenging through her items. Finally, he found the extra stash of body wash and shampoo, well to be exact, he found his extra stash of body wash that Ida had stolen.

"That fucking brat really has some nerves." He grumbled irritably, grabbing the bottle just as a black object dropped from the closet and landed on his feet.

"The hell?" Levi frowned, bending over and picking up the fabric. He held it up to inspect it, but before he could drop the object in shock and horror, the door to the room creaked open and a redhead strolled in.

Levi was paralyzed as Ida scanned the scene with her shifty and delirious eyes. Her eyes switched from the chiseled and damp shirtless body of her Captain and back to her underwear that he was holding up in the air.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YOU DAMNED PERVERT?!"

BAM!

The end.