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Chapter 6: Let Me Go

. . .

"You..." The coldness in his voice froze whatever warmth was left in the air, but Rey noticed how surprised he sounded upon hearing her revelation, "You what?"

The air in Rey's lungs softened, as if a pair of clasped hands around her neck finally relinquished, yet this relief hardly soothed her temperament. She feared to even think for herself, surely he would hear that, too. "Please don't make me say it..."

The words lingered in the air like fragrance, she could still hear herself repeating them as she took her long breaths. The very sounds of her words filled her with a sense of solace, as if it had been a boulder rested upon her chest and finally heaved off for good. "Not out loud..." She begged, stifling a sob.

Rey noticed how he said nothing in between her inhales, the silence sent a chill down her spine as she realized she had pressed some kind of button inside of him he certainly was not expecting.

But she did not see the hope behind his mask.

"I know who you are..." She sighed honestly.

You do?

His heartbeat began to race, thinking of all the ways he could express himself in this very moment. Kylo Ren knew little of love, as a child, parental affection was a scarcity. In his training as a teenager, the other girls would often jeer and were more hurtful in ways that only fueled his hatred for the Jedi.

She's not like that...

He wondered if this was what it was like to truly love someone... To be defenseless enough to admit their love so recklessly. It was dangerous and bold, things he wasn't sure he was capable of in this moment.

He wanted to hold her, to finally touch her in the most affectionate ways he thought of each and every night they spent together. Everything was in front of him, everything leading to this very moment and then some were in his grasp.

He lifted his hands, reaching slowly for his helmet...

"Someone like you could never even comprehend what we have..." She stated.

His hand halted, his heart stopped mid beat, and whatever hope he had left inside of him extinguished in the cold air. He repeated what she said in his mind, and before he could protest anything to this notion, she proceeded.

"You're heartless..." She gritted her teeth, heat began to rise from her body, "The dresses, the food, the room... This isn't some recruitment, this is for you."

He was taken back by her snarl, but the mask easily concealed his solemn expression. Kylo Ren began to feel a darkness persist in the atmosphere around them. "Rey..." He spoke quietly, now putting effort into his composure, "I can expl-"

"Spare me," She spat, "Is this what you people do? Find nobodies in the desert and take them back to your ship to be your little pets?" She bitterly smiled against her opponent's constant, empty stare. "I could never... Never open my heart to someone like you... I'm not anybody's pet."

Her voice was like flames, licking the air upon every word, he swore he felt the heat rise up from her throat. He hardly noticed her slur the next words from her lips, in fact he cared very little, as long as she was still speaking with this spirit. "Stop staring... I know what you're thinking, you don't need to take that mask off for me to know."

Kylo Ren had been through many periods of betrayal, most of his prominent memories recalled these exact feelings. It was what fueled him, it shaped him into who he was, and it had been a long time since this feeling had ever hurt him... Now, it had returned with a vengeance.

This is the very Rey that told him stories of her past, shared laughter in the night, even the occasional tear... Now, meeting face to face, she loathes the very sight of him...

He remained silent, but in those brief moments, he had felt feelings of rage and rejection he hadn't felt in years. His hands balled into his fists, and his body began to heat inside his dark clothing. The plan he so hopefully conspired had completely backfired, and in this moment, he felt's Rey's power overthrow this situation.

It was frustrating and humiliating, he wanted to show this reaction out of anger, surely it wouldn't be difficult to force fear back into her... But it could prove difficult to regain that small piece of trust back...

"A fighter 'til the end," He spoke at last, "But you're self-inflation is tiresome." He stepped forward again, seeing the shifting colors in her brown eyes.

There's so much in those eyes... What else are you hiding...

He felt his malicious front crumbling again, he had meant to be intimidating in this moment, but the idea of being remotely cruel only made him cringe.

"I wasn't expecting you to react so negatively to this proposal, but I'm afraid I can't let you leave. You mean more to me than some 'pet...' But you will work for the First Order, you'll earn paid wages to which you can do whatever you please within my guidelines."

"Your guidelines?"

"Yes," He answered, "You'll reside here, in this room, every service you've received here will be scheduled as is. I'll accompany you during-"

"Touch me and I swear..." She snarled coarsely, returning the cold stare. She was expecting more aggressive feedback from him, but he had nothing to report. As she forced herself to look upon this man, she could not help but to think of who truly is behind this black veil. Her blood slowed in her veins, simmering down from the heat. She looked carefully upon the mask, Kylo Ren noticed how sluggishly her gaze had become.

As her cheeks began to swell and redden, Rey realized the glasses of wine she had previously consumed had begun to consume her in revenge.

She opened her lips again, presumably to speak, but the words took a bit longer to leave than expected. "Why are you doing this to me?"

It took a moment for him to process the question, in fact he listened to it again as he looked upon his opponent. Doing so, he could not help but look upon her gaped lips, her weary eyes, and feel the loosened, collapsing weight of her body being held in his hold. She was slowly losing her grip upon reality, and he felt it upon himself to keep it this way. The obscurity kept her interest and gave him a firm grip on this hold...

"I can't force you to be happy here," This leverage was electrifying, as he revealed to her, he thought for a moment he could feel her very heartbeat against him, "But I can make your stay as comfortable as you like..."

Her mind fogged, and she realized it was as much trouble to keep her eyes open as it was to speak, "Let me go..."

She felt her body begin to heat again, sweat began to form on her hairline.

"I'm afraid I can't do that."

Her stomach churned.

"No, please," She managed to sound, "I'm think I'm gonna be sick, please let me go..."

In an instant, Kylo Ren removed his forced hold upon Rey's body, and caught her frail frame mid air before it fell to the carpet. He held her tightly enough to grip her before he swiftly brought the frail girl into his arms, hardly taking the sentimental value into consideration.

In one swift motion, Rey felt her legs lift off of the floor and her stomach drop from this motion, which nearly forced her stomach to empty right then and there. Rey clenched herself, clinging to the little strength she had as she watched the room move forward while being carried to the bathroom. She felt her mouth salivating, her body began to sweat as if she fevered, and her throat began to expand from the growing, sickening feeling.

On his way to Rey's restroom, Ren carried the frail girl with all his haste, no other constant thought in his mind except, please don't throw up on me, please don't throw up on me...

Kylo Ren faced her weakened body towards the toilet, carefully placing her feet on the ground and lowering her into a kneeling position. Immediately following this, Rey began to empty her stomach into the chrome-finished toilet.

He dared not to look into the shining bowl which was surely filthy by now, but standing awkwardly behind her made him feel useless in ways he could not explain. Her roaring upchucks became more violent, and the intricate bun behind her head began to unravel. He watched as her hands shifted frantically upon the tile, scrambling for grip to steady herself.

Finally, her body began to give her rest. Her esophagus burned, and she lost the strength in her body as she rested her cheek upon the metallic rim, uncaring of its origins. Rey forced out uncomfortable sounds that a wounded animal would make as she struggled to find her breath. Her chest heaved and fell towards the floor, and with each exhale, thick locks began to fall upon her cheek, becoming tainted by her biled lips.

Helpless... He thought, Such a fighter moments ago, and now so submissive... He knew it'd be so easy to take advantage of this situation, but it'd be just as easy to dismantle this trust in such a vulnerable state.

It was exciting, tempting, and dangerous...

Tameable, trainable even... With the right direction, she'd have no choice...

But his choice became clear.

Kylo Ren brought his fingers down to her cheek, swiping her thick locks with his fingers, and holding them generously behind her scalp. He knelt behind her, then adjusted his legs so they both rested on each side of the toilet, he was thankful he didn't wear his formal attire. He felt her weakened, shaky grip on the floor slowly slip, she fell into his chest.

He swallowed upon the closeness he felt...

As her chest heaved, he felt the heavy pushes against him as her lungs inflated, and the gentle releases as they fell. For a moment he thought the heartbeats between them had synchronized, but his had become too quickened to match.

She shifted her feet, trying to adjust them to her surroundings. It never occurred to her that her feet were in an uncomfortable position due to the lack of mobility from the mass figure behind her, but she knew she was too weak to protest.

Rey felt him supporting her, his one hand holding her surely tangled hair behind her head, the other placed neatly alongside hers on the tile. The size comparison made him question her exact measurements, her hand seemed to be no larger than a teacup compared to his own. Kylo Ren was half tempted to take it into his own glove as to shield her from the cold, but decided not to.

Instead, she slipped it underneath his without any warning or hesitation... Kylo Ren wasn't sure what to make of this, but he assumed it was a silent 'thank you', more than anything else. And his pride refused to let him think otherwise.

She felt his thick boot against her ankle and realized one of her shoes had slipped off on the rush to the bathroom. With a flick of his wrist, She thought, He could snap my neck... Surely that'd be better than this humiliation... She realized her hand had become much warmer than the other, and she worried if an illness had begun to take over. Instead, she feld the thick, leathery fingers of Kylo Ren interloped within hers.

"Are you going to be all right?" He asked genuinely.

Her breaths eased, and Rey slowly managed to mumble through her wet lips, "I'm sorry..." She licked them, smiling as she spoke softly, "I feel better now... I need to lay down..."

"Don't," He inquired gently, sliding the hand in her hair to her arm, it shifted under her bicep as her head slumped against his frame, "You're not going anywhere without me. And the carpet wasn't exactly an inexpensive accessory to install, I'd hate to have you soil it."

He was half expecting a retort from that, or some kind of refute. After he spoke those words he thought if he had blown his cover with that quick remark, surely she was used to such comments and it would be easily recognizable.

Instead, she turned her head to face him, lifted her cheek gently, and met his mask with her eyes. Kylo Ren urged himself not to focus his vision on the small fragment of food on the corner of her lips, instead he looked upon the rosy cheeks that accompanied her smile.

"You sound funny." She slurred, letting out a soft chuckle to herself.

Kylo Ren wanted to release a sigh of relief at this nonchalant insult, but he refused to let any emotion at all be noted by this girl's coarse stare. "It's late."

The effects of the alcohol slowly slipped from her. As Kylo Ren stood her up in the bathroom, she found her single-shoed feet and shuffled along with his steps to her bed.

She was sat down carefully and ordered to lay down, the command was a bit more canine for her liking, but she obeyed as Kylo Ren returned to the washroom to get a cold rag for her blotched face.

At least she didn't get sick on you, he thought to himself, Try explaining that stain to Hux...

Kylo Ren found her already nestled deeply into the sheets and oblivious to the submissive pose she put herself in. The thick coverlet was tucked deeply under her chin allowing air to pass through her nose clearly. He realized here the trace of bile upon her lip must have been smudged somewhere into the coverlet he spared no expense upon.

He placed the cloth upon her forehead and towered before her, "Are you all right?"

Rey's eyes were closed gently, but her lids fluttered as she tried to answer, "Better..." She whispered.

There it is again... He thought to himself, That softness...

His heart raced, "Get some rest," He desperately gulped for composure, "You start tomorrow, your chambermaids will assist you in the morning."

She hummed, more seductively than he had expected, forcefully picking apart his control. He now ached for her, this beautiful woman before him he longed to see for so long and now completely bare before him.

He wanted to feel her again, to hear her utter those soft words and let the sweet melodies drip from her lips. But in this way, he hated that he was so willingly compliant to these urges. These thoughts only clouded his vision, they were meant to be powerful and commanded from a central location of his body... But he never experienced them in their full force...

She's no pet... He forced his thoughts, looking upon the now sound asleep Rey.

Please tell me your thoughts and review as honestly as possible. No Star Wars FanFiction is perfect, unless it's written, sealed, signed, and kissed by George Lucas himself, but I hope this makes at least 1 person happy.

Thanks for reading! Come back for 'Chapter 7: Affection.'