Chapter 3 - Obsession

September 2004

Harm's Loft

North Of Union Station

He sat in an oversized chair, holding a cigar between two fingers while his other hand held a glass of whiskey. He sipped his drink and then took a long puff, holding the smoke in his lungs for a moment to blow it out slowly. "Damnit."

That night in Paraguay was never far from his mind. Harm would bring it to the surface of his memories each time an assignment ran too long and he needed comfort. It helped ease the lonely nights just as much as it helped make them painful. For a ripple in time everything fell into place, complicated but simple. It worked...until it didn't anymore.

Harm refilled the glass and drank half with one gulp that burned down his throat. He wasn't inebriated but the gentle warming effect made him feel numb for a moment. The euphoria dissipated the second his eyes focused on the framed picture sitting atop his coffee table. Harm snuffed out his cigar, tossed back the remainder of his drink and then reached for the photograph that was a little over a year old.

There had been advantages to leaving JAG; and a relationship with Mac was one of them. No rules or regulations to keep them apart, no need to hide. Until his job made things messy. One of those messes was hanging on Mac's arm tonight.

Clayton Fucking Webb was a friend once, albeit one that constantly got them in trouble. He was instrumental in bringing them together just as he was contributory to their demise. And now he was driving a wedge even deeper.

Morbidly he wondered if Webb had followed Mac home, a curiosity that wouldn't abate until a raw energy had him grabbing the keys for his SUV and pointing it towards Georgetown.

Half a block away from her apartment building, Harm slipped his Lexus into an empty spot. It was far enough to keep him away from prying eyes but his vantage point had a clear view into apartment 201.

Few lights were on and the warm glow from inside reflected against the wispy curtains of Mac's balcony. This kind of pining was insane, it breached the restraining order she had placed on him several months earlier and served no purpose.

He just couldn't help himself.

Harm needed to know if she was alone, if Webb had joined her or any of the other countless suitors that would have taken a bullet to bed her. His teeth ground when he thought of any other man tasting her skin and murderous intent filled his mind.

After their altercation outside of the hotel, it was clear her disinterest was genuine and had been for some time. Then why couldn't he stop himself from coming here, parking outside of her building and standing watch like some sick stalker?

Why did he torture himself knowing a beautiful woman like her wouldn't stay alone forever? He was challenging fate, praying that any patrol wouldn't notice the man sleeping inside the SUV.

Yes, he slept there as well, not always but when his gut told him to. After every assignment, he came to her place like she asked of him when they were still together. He couldn't stop himself but then, hadn't Mac called him obsessed once?

A ripple of light from her balcony made his eyes focus on her movement. Mac sat outside in one of the two chairs and she was alone.

Alone.

There would be no one to stop him from rushing up the steps of the building or barging into Mac's apartment. His hand had already wrapped around the door handle, one leg dangled an inch from the ground when the shrill of a cell phone made him stop.

"Shit."

The device sat on the dashboard and he stared at it accusingly, anger instantly running through his veins from the number projected on the tiny screen. He muttered another curse and flipped it open only to find a man yelling at him. "Where are the hell are you?"

"Home." Harm lied as his eyes focused on her again. He wondered if she sensed his presence, if that shared connection was still a link between them. Not being with her had caused this dark stain across his heart and Harm was so desperate to see her that it forced him into countless sleepless nights.

"Home? Good, be at the office in one hour. Apollo is in play."

"Apollo? You sure or you just wasting my time again?"

"Does it matter? I'm your handler, I say jump you ask how high."

"You don't own me."

"We do, Rabb. Or did you forget?"

He hadn't forgotten; how could he when every assignment reminded him of everything he lost. "I'm going. But you talk to me that way again and I'm ramming your teeth down your throat. I've got nothing left to lose."

The silence on the other side meant the message had been received loud and clear. But, Harm didn't move. Not until another five minutes passed and he was certain she would be alright.

Reluctantly, he left and it tore at his heart to have to walk away from her again.

The SUV halfway down her block drew Mac's attention as it pulled out of it's normal spot. It was not the first time he'd parked there and kept watch, she always knew when Harm was near.

She could sense his arrival, and felt a delicate flutter in her stomach each time; it was like a flame tempting a moth. Mac eased the grip on the pistol in her hand once the car sped off and with a muttered curse, she stepped inside and locked the French doors.

Sleep wasn't happening tonight, she knew because the jolt of adrenaline already had her shaky and apprehensive. Sleep wouldn't happen on the plane or for hours after landing because she wouldn't rest until her final destination was in sight.

Mac needed out of Washington and the oppressive tension that was weighing her down. She needed to get away from Webb, his cronies and even her colleagues that could do little more than pity her. Maybe she'd leave and never return?

She walked into her room and dropped onto the edge of her bed. The pistol in her hand fell to the carpet with a muffled thud and she didn't bother picking it up. Flying with a weapon would be a hassle given the check in process for airlines but the challenge was gladly accepted if it meant her safety.

Once arriving in Tennessee her first course of action was to rent a vehicle and navigate to the nearest gun shop. After that she hoped for the tranquil peace without court cases, TADs and stupid boy spooks that were obsessed with her.

Currently, there were two men obsessed with her and while some women enjoyed that kind of thing, Mac felt numb. A hand moved over rumpled sheets and the side of the bed he'd occupied for such a short time.

He slept on the right and she on the left although they mostly slept somewhere in the middle, their bodies never far apart. That practice began in Paraguay when everything changed in just a few simple moments and everything clicked as if it were always meant to be...

May 2003

Hotel Nuevo Simpatico

Paraguay

They lay tangled in sheets, their limbs intertwined and Harm was kissing droplets of sweat from her brow, her neck, licking between her breasts. Mac almost purred whenever he touched a certain spot and giggled as his hand swept past the curve of her left hip with a light pressure. "Ticklish, Marine?"

"Very." She giggled again and dropped her head to his shoulder, snuggling close to him Despite all of the nastiness of the last week and the hell that came from it, Mac found some kind of peace in his arms.

"I fell in love with you years ago, you know?" She solemnly admitted and felt his hand stop moving. Mac imagined the wheels turning in his head from her confession and knew the back peddling would likely come next but, instead he dropped another kiss on her shoulder, her neck. It was like he couldn't stop kissing her. "I tried not to."

Harm's hand slowly moved up the length of her spine, his fingertips caressing the soft skin he'd dreamt of for so long. He caught her lips and kissed her slowly like indulging in a drug he was already addicted to before burying his head in the crook of her neck. He didn't respond in kind because the words failed him as usual and a heavy sigh had her questioning him.

"Did I say too much?" Mac asked and the hesitation in her voice broke his heart. "Is this too much?"

"No." His breath was warm against her skin, his lips kissed and teased. Harm sighed again. He loved her, he knew he did but why was it so hard to say? "I have feelings for you, Mac. I care for you but I...the reason why I came for you-"

"Shhh...don't." She pressed two fingers against his lips no longer caring about the words, his actions, the way he kissed her and the look in his eyes spoke more than an affirmation. "I know. You don't have to say the words...I know."

"No awkward morning after, huh?" Although it was barely morning, the clock on the nightstand blared a quarter until five.

"I think we're well past that. We know each other too well."

"Yeah, we do." He agreed but there were still so many things he didn't know about Mac and was hungry to discover. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and let his hand linger against her cheek for a moment longer. "I said your name once when I was with Rene."

"In bed?" Mac croaked out feeling mortified by the thought.

"No. She was coming out of the shower in nothing but a towel and I...I saw you. That called for an insurmountable kind of groveling."

It made sense now, Renee's animosity and cold greetings; how she always eyed the partners with unveiled jealousy. It was a reaction shared by Mic despite never being romantically involved with Harm, the hatred was palpable as their insecurity. "That explains why she disliked me so much. I thought...Well, I don't know what I thought."

"I think she wanted you to get married more than you did. Renee kept calling me her 'miracle' or something odd like that. I was feeling strangled."

"Did you love her?

"No." Harm answered honestly. It made him feel like a heel for not feeling even a tenth of what Renee did. He enjoyed her company, could even see himself living together with the producer but love never made it into the equation. It was surprising that they lasted so long. "Maybe I could have loved her one day. Maybe. Did you- love Mic?"

"Not like a bride-to-be should." She said as the peace that Mac felt evaporated into nothing. She suddenly felt exposed and was reminded that they hadn't yet made it safely home when a call from Webb brought them back to reality.

"He wants to meet downstairs at 0800." Harm said, stupidly believing it was all over, that a plane was ready to whisk them back to Washington once the sun rose. "The longer we stay here, the longer the two of you are compromised. We need to get home."

Home. That felt like a novel concept. Her apartment, her work, her life was all suspended, how could it possibly resume? Mac sat up whe. he slipped back into bed and pushed away the arm that tried to snake around her waist. "What exactly is this?"

Funny how a few minutes earlier she wanted his touch and now the weight of the future was crushing. "What happens when we go home?"

"Us? Simple, we stay together."

"Simple." She snorted. This from a man who had kept her at arms length for so long Mac believed he had zero interests. "I thought you didn't like making complicated things simple?"

He didn't but this boundary they finally crossed was an inevitability that Harm wanted. He wanted her, it was that simple. "Then we keep complicating the hell out of this, as long as we're together…And we are together, I'm not going back to whatever we had. I don't want to be just your friend."

"I don't want that either." Hesitantly she slid down, back into his waiting arms and the peace he offered. She kissed him soundly as if sealing a promise between lovers and let her lips linger over his for a moment. "I prefer if things between us were easy for a change."

"I can work on that."

"Don't you dare break my heart."

"I won't." He promised.

But they wouldn't leave Paraguay until another fifteen hours had passed. Fifteen hours to track down a terrorist only to watch Sadik vanish into the Chaco. Fifteen hours of adrenaline and worry and fearing what came next. Harm and Mac had gone from friends to lovers to business as usual and she wondered how it was so easy for him to turn those feelings off. Bilge switch, indeed.

A private vehicle picked them up at the hotel and as the airport terminal appeared some time later, Mac cringed at the thought of flying home on some dinky charter like the flight that brought them to Paraguay. But the driver didn't stop at the building, he went past a side road which led to several large hangars.

Parked near small planes a sleek jet awaited, it's crew standing outside including a petite, older woman dressed in scrubs and a smock, clearly some sort of medical personnel.

"Mother wanted me back in comfort. She felt this was best. Who am I to argue?" Clay explained and then winked at Mac who didn't exactly find the mama's boy act charming nor endearing. It made her question far too much and with the ongoing headache, her brain decided to give up her query.

"You three can join me, of course. You first, Sarah."

Harm visibly bristled, another man calling her by her given name clearly rubbed a raw nerve. The tension at the tarmac was palpable and it was a press of Mac's palm against his forearm that calmed him slightly. "It's okay. We're okay."

But they weren't. Not until that plane touched down and their daily routine resumed. "Yeah, we're okay."

The plane was opulent, all polished wood and white leather with a stitched, monochrome 'W' on each headrest. There was enough seating for about ten guests, part of which was a long sofa that had been flipped open to expose a twin sized bed with fresh linens. Beside it, an IV bag and a pretty blond girl in scrubs that helped Webb into his bed.

Harm sat on a plush chair on the farthest end and much to his surprise, Mac's hand took his as she sat across from him. They were finally going home together - he found his most sought after prize and would do anything to keep her. His hand squeezed hers and held on as the aircraft raced down the tarmac and shot for the skies. From the window Paraguay was swallowed by big fluffy clouds, neither of them wished to set foot there ever again.

"This is new. You two." Webb lay propped up against pillows, his shirt partially open to expose the ugly burns and bruises. He shook when the nurse handed him a glass and Mac couldn't look away. For all the animosity she felt for him, the man had protected her and saved her life. She'd be indebted but the way he stared made her feel exposed and she didn't know why.

Webb picked up on their silent conversation, the way Harms hand held hers as the plane lifted, the gentle stroking of his thumb over her skin. Then there was the way Sarah smiled, a gentle and shy tugging at the corners of her mouth. A blush that tinted her cheeks further unlocked the secret of what happened between the partners behind closed doors.

Gunny happily grinned at this current change of events muttering a muffled "'Bout time" while it was Clay's turn to bristle. "And you thought he was oblivious."

That made Mac's eyes widen, the grip on Harm's hand was the only thing that kept him seated across from her. He was ready to pounce and finish what Sadik had started. "Is there a problem, Clayton?"

Harm's menacing tone promised an infinite amount of pain to anyone that dared come between him and Mac. He was publicly staking his claim.

"No problem, just a surprising change of events...I thought." The sedative was making him slur, forcing the words right out of his brain. His own declaration was thwarted, too much time had passed and he realized there was no place in Mac's life - for now. Knowing what he knew about Rabb, this interlude would self-implode soon enough leaving Mac free. She would be his obsession. "Nevermind what I thought."

Mercifully, the remainder of the flight was silent, the medication had finally knocked Webb out.