A/N: Hi y'all! I am back with another update! Here's the promised Special chapter since so many of you liked the last one! Let me know if you want more chapters like this in the future. Hopefully it will provide a little comic relief for the upcoming chapters!
Humanity's Strongest Woman by xDollfie
Chapter Special 2
Over Budget.
They met in front of Erwin's office, their faces composed and calm. Both of them knew what this meeting was all about and the reason why they were summoned, but honestly, they didn't even feel a tinge of guilt about it.
"So…" Ida crossed her arms, looking at her Captain. "You were called in as well huh?"
"Tch." Levi looked highly irritated as usual, his eyes darkening as he glared at her. "Don't give me that look, I'm sure you know what all is this about. You're equally as guilty."
She shrugged, knocking on the door and entered the room. "I guess if you put it that way."
"Take a seat." Erwin Smith looked extremely stressed. He held a stack of papers in his hands and he sighed tiredly when registered how calm the two soldiers looked. "We're over budget this month again. I have the Supreme Commander chewing on my ears. I'd usually turn a blind eye on this, but this time, we're extremely over budget, in fact, so over budget that we're in debt."
"So?" Both Ida and Levi replied in a dull unison, looking expectantly at their commander as if to say: 'Why don't you tell us something new, Erwin?'
Erwin sighed at their indifference. He rubbed his face in dismay and continued explaining patiently, "I've done some research… and I've reason to believe that you two are the main culprits behind the deficit."
"You probably just asked four-eyes and she told you," Ida said.
Levi deadpanned, looking as bored as ever. "It's a possibility, I require some basic necessities to uphold this shit hole," he stated honestly, not at all aghast.
Erwin threw the papers on the table in exasperation. "Okay, so what did you two blow on again this time? Blades? Gas? I know you two are our leading soldiers, but you really have to stop throwing your blades at each Titan you see and preserve your gas usage. You go through twice as many blades and gas compared to an average soldier."
"But apparently, we kill twice as many Titans as your average soldier," Ida defended haughtily, crossing her legs. She pulled herself upright. "Plus, throwing blades is a good technique to temporarily blinding the Titans."
"I understand, Ida but—"
Erwin tried to retort but Levi cut him off with a sharp interjection. "I agree, if you ask me, I propose that we should confiscate everyone else gears until the next expedition. Have you even the shitty embarrassment that they called training yet?"
The Commander rubbed his nose bridge tiredly. "Thank you for telling me but I can't do that, Levi. They are—"
This time it was Ida who interfered. "In an effort to control resources, I suggest that all the lazy slackers that use their gears to fly around for fun and do absolutely nothing should pay for their own equipment."
Erwin gaped at her. "That is absurd—"
"Especially the newest recruits, do you even know how many times I've caught them using their damned gears for no apparent reason at all but to play some stupid game of tag?" Levi cut in, his expression darkening.
Erwin knew that he should've called them in one at a time. He just couldn't handle them both! It was an error of judgment on his part. Back in the past before Ida came, he already had a hard time handling Levi and now he was struggling to handle both of them. They were like a tag team combo out to make his life a living hell.
"Okay, enough!" Erwin slammed his hand on the tables to get their attention. Sighing, he went back on topic, trying to look serious and intimidating, but the two soldiers were unfazed. "So, it was the blades and gas I presume?"
Both Ida and Levi looked at each other before they grimaced. "I don't think it was the equipment that caused the over budget, we're both injured as you can tell," she told her commander, holding up her bandaged arm.
The blonde rubbed his face in exasperation. "Then what the hell did you guys buy and how on earth did you manage to get past Nifa who's in charge of our finances?!"
"We asked and she agreed," Levi replied stoically.
Erwin shot him a dubious look that caused Ida to elaborate for her Captain. "And when Nifa tries to reject us, we ask again nicely."
Still, Erwin did not look convinced. Upon seeing this, Ida elaborated further. "Nice requests sometimes come in a form of death threats, blades angled at a specific lethal spot and hard threatening glares."
Erwin paled. He reminded himself to comfort Nifa afterward. Who knows what hell the poor soldier had been through trying to handle these two.
He locked his hands together by his back and spoke rigidly, "And may I ask just what is so important that you need to you use the Military funds for?"
"Cleaning supplies."
"Sweets."
"Cleaning supplies… sweets…." Erwin echoed in disbelief. But it wasn't actually that hard to believe when it came to the pair, they had a strange… obsession. "Levi, I understand your need to maintain the hygiene, but just how much supplies did you buy for the budget to blow up?"
"You certainly do not understand." He shot back fiercely. "Do you know how fucking disgusting some of the soldiers here are? Everybody here is a pathetic lazy piece of trash. You have no idea how much bleach I have to use to remove the stains of from our uniform white pants and how much detergent I need to use to thoroughly cleans the linens."
"Bleach… detergent…" Erwin parroted in incredulous disbelief, trying to keep up.
"On that note, why the hell are our pants fucking white in the first place? Blood, dirt, grime all shows up on it and it stains so damn easily — it's fucking filthy. It's a pathetic excuse for a piece of fabric if you ask me."
"I'd have to agree on that part." Ida agreed, nodding. It'd be much easier to evade Levi's hawk eyes for picking up dirt on their uniforms if it was in a darker shade.
Erwin wanted to pull out all of his hair. "Yes, I understand that Levi, but—"
"I haven't even gotten started on our damn jackets yet, that stupid thing bleeds all over the place whenever you wash it. Plus, there is a need for a tremendous amount of brooms and cleaning wipes. I suggest that we implement a rule that any imbecile that leaves their filthy shit behind should lose a tooth or a finger." Levi suggested darkly, his frown growing deeper as he remembered the disgusting mess that Eren and the recruits leave behind all the time.
"Oh god." Erwin buried his face in his hands. He didn't even know what to say!
Levi was still hell-bent on getting his Commander to understand. "Have you ever seen the pathetic state of the troop's uniform whenever we come back from an expedition? Do you know how long the Eren and rest have to stay in the laundry room to get those shit stains off? If you ask me, I'd much prefer they spent their time doing something else more productive."
"Levi, I'm sure the scouts wouldn't mind a tiny stain or two." Erwin tried to reason calmly, but unfortunately, Levi wasn't planning on listening.
"Sure they don't, that's because those brats do not value their morals or dignity. Stains are disgraceful and obscene." Levi stated in a matter-of-factly tone. "It's disgusting and it's my job to uphold the standards of the Survey Corps since everyone else is being a lazy useless good for nothing asswipe."
"I think it goes against your morals more than anyone else…" Erwin muttered bitterly, sighing in defeat. Rubbing his temples to ease his pounding headache, he turned to the silent woman beside the frowning Levi. "What's your excuse, Ida?"
"Sweets give me energy and I like eating them," Ida replied plainly, her eyes firm.
Oh boy, here we go again.
"Ida, I know that you have a… fond liking for sweets, but I don't think your supply of sweets should warrant the entire budget. Plus, you're not supposed to use the legion's budget for personal items."
"More like an obsession," Levi remarked snarkily.
Ida raised a brow. "Sweets help me to perform my duties to my fullest, and seeing my Titan kill count, I truly believe that my supply of sweets should preside over anything."
"And just exactly how much sweets do you eat every day…?" Erwin inquired, though he wasn't sure he would actually like to know.
"It varies, about twenty bags a per day."
The Commander was suffering at this point, he attempted to glare intimidatingly at them, but it was futile. Ida and Levi both did not look even a tad bit affected, it was obvious that they didn't think they that had done anything drastically wrong.
Shaking his head, Erwin tried one last time. "I understand that… cleanliness…" He moved his gaze to Levi. "…And sweets…" He turned to look helplessly at Ida. "Are very dear to your hearts, but for the love of all Titans, you two have blown the budget to a point that the legion is in debt."
Ida and Levi glanced at each other, before launching into another defensive debate.
"The legion's cleanliness should take top priority regardless of some damn budget."
"I've said this before, Levi, but I think you're being entirely too picky about the state of the legion's hygiene." Erwin shot him down instantly.
"I think that we should make it a point that everyone consumes sweets before we embark on sham exercises or expeditions so that the troops can be more alert and not get their asses eaten by Titans."
Erwin glared at his daughter. "Ida, that is ridiculous. I know that sugar gives you energy, but I believe that the troops are well-rested enough. Consuming that insane amount of sugar would probably cause health problems among the scouts."
With arms crossed on their chest, eyes narrowed down and the same scowl plastered on their faces, Erwin knew that Ida and Levi were not convinced. He gave up. "Fine. You two can do whatever you want as long as it does not exit the legion's budget. I do not want any more enormous receipts billed to me, is that clear?"
They considered his proposition for a brief moment. Knowing Levi, he probably had an enormous stash of extra supplies somewhere in his room and Ida certainly did have more than enough sweets to last her for a few months if she conserved a little.
"Fine." They replied in unison.
"Good, you're both are dismissed." Erwin was elated to finally get through them.
"I never want to hear the word cleaning or see another sweet ever again." They could hear Erwin muttered exasperatedly under his breath.
After exiting the room, Ida nudged Levi by the ribs. "I say that we threaten Nifa to secretly bring in more sweets and cleaning supplies," she suggested evilly.
It was only at times like this did she actually appreciate Levi's cleaning obsession; he was her partner in crime.
Levi rolled his eyes. "Tch. I would rather we get her to hand over the position of financial advisor. I could do a much better job at handling the damned budget. It's obvious that she's doing a shitty job if she allowed the budget to blow up like that."
o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o
Wake Up Call.
"Oi, Arlert."
Armin Arlert looked up nervously from his breakfast to find Levi looming over him. "Yes, Captain Levi?"
"Where's Yeager? It's almost time to leave for the sham exercise and he hasn't even shown his brat face yet." Levi grumbled, looking around the mess hall for a certain Titan Shifter. "Have you seen him?"
"I haven't, but he's probably getting ready," Armin told him. Upon noticing how angry he looked, he spoke out a polite offer. "I can go find him if you're busy."
"No, I will deal with that nuisance by myself. Go and get ready," Levi replied stiffly, glowering at the rest of recruits at the table.
"You seem more pissed than usual." Ida walked up to the tables with her breakfast bun, smirking when she saw how irritated he looked. "What could have gotten you in such a bad mood so early in the morning?"
"Tch. Not really."
"Not really, huh?" Ida sat down on the empty space in the cadets' table. "Should you be making that sort of expression then?"
"I've always had this expression." He crossed his arms, his eyes darkening.
"If you make that kind of expression, that usual scowl you got is going to look even worse," she shot back sardonically, enjoying every bit of his irritation.
"You're noisy… Shut up." Levi snarled grumpily, storming away. "I got to clean up some trash."
"Yeah, yeah." Ida waved him away, chomping down into her bun. She looked at the recruits with great interest. "What did he want with you guys?"
"He's looking for Eren," Sasha replied, scarfing on her large portion like a wild hyena. When she was done, she looked over at her friend's plate. "Connie, do you still want your potatoes?"
Winching and certainly not wanting to deal with a rabid Sasha so early in the morning, Connie pushed his plate towards her.
Ida shook her head, sighing. "That stupid twerp… Eren slept in again huh? Damn it, I thought it was going to be a peaceful morning. It's going to get noisy," she grumbled sourly.
Armin turned to look at Ida, curious. "Noisy? What do you mean?"
"Well, just listen and you will get what I mean. This happens all the time back when we were living at the hideout. Eren really has some shit luck, he always oversleeps whenever Levi is in charge of him instead of me."
Suddenly, a loud banging was heard entering the mess hall.
"First, Levi bangs relentlessly on his door, looking like a grumpy angry imp." Ida narrated listlessly, chewing on her bread.
"Why am I not surprised that he is going to get his face smashed by Captain?" Jean smirked, knowing that his friend is going to get was going to get ass kicked. "Stupid dumbass."
Ida ignored Jean and went on with her breakfast. "Afterwards, he finally gets enough of waiting, being the impatient bastard that he is, smashes down Eren's room door."
True enough, the sound of wood breaking echoed into the mess hall and the cadets paled at how accurate Ida was.
Eren's loud panicked voice could be heard, "A — Ah shit! G — Good morning Captain!"
Taking a sip of her tea, she continued on with her narration. "Once Levi is in Eren's room, this where the noisy part comes in, so prepare yourself," she told the recruits in a monotone, idly biting another bite of her bread.
As if on cue, a bunch of loud thuds, choking and groaning streamed into the mess hall, an obvious violent battle going on in the room down the hallway. Agonizing screams for help and Levi's explicit swearing followed.
"Holy crap." Connie shuddered in fear. "Remind me never to oversleep."
Armin, Sasha, and Jean all nodded in agreement, gulping when another string of loud thuds and grunts could be heard. "Even with Eren's regenerative abilities, that's gotta hurt really bad."
Armin covered his ears, pitying his best friend. "Shouldn't you be doing something Ida-san…?"
Ida looked at them, unfazed by the noises; it was a regular occurrence to her already. "After the little wake-up call, Levi tells Eren to stop being a whiny bitch or else he would either chain him to a pole and feed him to Titans or lock him in the dungeon."
As predicted, Levi's swearing was as loud as the day. "Stop being a whiny bitch and get the fuck up Eren, or else I'm going to lock you in the damn filthy dungeon again like the pathetic shit you are."
Ida smirked, pleased at her accurate recount. "Lastly, any minute now, Levi is going to come into the mess hall, dragging a battered and bruised Eren by his collar and commanding me to take care of the Titan brat."
Knowing better than to judge Ida's frighteningly accurate predictions, the recruits snapped their heads to the opened door, all silently holding their breaths as they await the two soldiers to show up. Sure enough, loud angry footsteps were heard and a terrifying Levi appeared holding onto a whimpering Eren.
"Oi Ida." Levi scowled angrily, glowering at the frightened boy in his grasp. Pushing Eren towards the direction of his other superior, he gave him one last glare. "Take care of the damned Titan brat, I have my hands full as it is."
Keeping his face in a deadpan, Levi coolly turned his heel around and left the hall. Armin immediately went to help his best friend.
Pursing her lips, she darted a glance at the pitiful Eren before looking at the stunned recruits. "I told you so," she said haughtily.
"…Hell, it's like you have a Levi-detector in your head your something." Jean shook his head, still in disbelief.
"Pfft, not really. It's just that that bastard is just too predictable." Ida ate the last of her bun, and stood up, sweeping the crumbs off her hands. "Oi Eren, it's your fault for oversleeping again."
o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o
Master Plan (Part 1)
Pondering.
Hanji Zoe kicked the dirt around her listlessly, scheming up her next master plan. Sadly for her, it seemed that her genius mind was low on brain juice for the day. Pursing her lips dejectedly, it wasn't until she heard the boisterous laughter of cadets did her mood took an abrupt change for the better.
Bingo.
"Hello, guys!" A bespectacled brunette chirped happily, waving at the recruits sitting near the stables. She skipped cheerfully towards them, grinning maniacally at the devious plot in her mind.
"Squad Leader Hanji." Krista greeted in a happy note. "Do you need anything?"
"What are you guys doing?" she peered curiously at them, her lips forming an 'o' shape when she saw buckets of soapy water. "Chores, again huh?"
"It's that irksome shortie," Mikasa grumbled, scrubbing the linens until they were a spotless white shade. "He's making us do the household chores again."
Jean sighed angrily, his hands in a bucket. "My hands are going to crinkle up like a prune after this."
Ymir snorted beside him, busy hanging up the wet linens to dry. "Don't complain horse face, you're moving too slow."
"I'm hungry!" Sasha suddenly complained.
An amused smile spread across Hanji's face as a brilliant idea popped in her head. "Hey… what if I were to tell you that you can skip the chores…" She looked around, before moving in closer to them and whispered. "...As well as get a little revenge on Levi?"
Connie's head snapped upright. The short teen had a shocked and confused look on his face. "What did you just say?"
"I said if you help me with a little favor. You can skip on your chores for a day and have a little fun messing with Levi!" Hanji exclaimed, confident that her bribery would certainly move the teens.
She was right in her predictions. The recruits hated that Levi was always issuing household work and honestly, the sound of Hanji's proposition on messing with stoic Captain had sparked their interest.
Seeing the looks on their faces, Hanji added on a seductive reward. "And… if you guys help me, I'll reward you with extra supper."
"What do we have to do?!" Sasha asked excitedly, she was just about willing to do anything if it meant getting extra food.
Eren's eyes twitched erratically, not liking the sound of the idea. Apart from his friends, he held great respect for the Captain and frankly, he didn't have to balls to go through with Hanji's plans. "Count me out of this."
Hanji had already prepared a counter-attack for the Titan shifter. "Eren, if you were to help me, I'd stop pestering you to attend my amazing experiments for an entire week!"
"Seriously?" Eren looked taken in.
"What do we have to do?" Jean was definitely in on Hanji's plans. Anything was better than scrubbing linens and feeling the damn bleach eat into his skin. Plus, if he could evoke a drastic reaction from the stern-faced Levi, he was sure that it would be hilarious.
"Come closer!" Hanji signaled them and the recruits gathered around her as she explained the contents of her master plan to a bunch of giggling and blushing recruits.
They placed their master plan in action that very night.
"Captain!" Jean came running into his office without knocking, earning a hard glare from the over-worked Levi behind his desk.
Levi observed Jean's frantic state with narrowed suspicious eyes. Was it an emergency? "What?"
"There's a rat infestation in Storage Room A in the west wing!" he reported snappily, saluting.
"What?!" As expected, Levi slammed his hand on his tables and stood up. "How the hell did those filthy shits get there? Have Eren been slacking off in his cleaning duties?"
"I don't know, sir! But it looks pretty bad!"
"Tch. A damned crisis like this in the middle of the night." He grumbled grouchily, just the thought of those germs infested rats in the headquarters was enough to spark his rage. "I will go check it out, thank you for informing me."
With gloves and a mask as armor, Levi wasted no time in heading towards the storage room. He hated pests. A bugging sensation flickered at the back of his mind, Levi couldn't understand for the love of all cleaning gods in the world why was there were rats in the legion. He had always ensured the place was in pristine order!
He would get his answer soon enough.
Opening the wooden doors, he lifted the oil lamp into the narrow damp room and with his trusty broom in his other hand as a weapon, Levi bravely threaded inside. As soon as he felt something moving, he wasted no time in killing it with his broom.
THWACK!
"OW! WHAT THE FUCK?!"
Eh, damned rats can't talk, can they?
That voice sounded strangely familiar to Levi's ears. Moving the oil lamp towards the source, Levi was ready to kill that person but he paused when he realized it was none other than Ida Starke.
Rubbing her assaulted head, she glared him, her incredulous eyes demanding an explanation for his assault. "What the hell is your problem?!"
He dismissed her accusation with his own rigid question. "What are you doing here?"
Pouting, she grabbed the bags of sweets on the floor. "Krista told me that she found my hidden stash of sweets here, some idiot hid it this morning," she explained. Levi cringed when he saw the sweet wrappers on the floor.
"So, you sat here in the pissin' dark to eat some damn sweets?" Levi grumbled at the obscene state of the floor. "How pathetic."
"What are you doing here then?" Ida snapped back, offended by his insults. It wasn't her fault! Someone had stolen her sweets in the morning and she had been sugar deprived for the whole day!
"Jean told me that there was a rat infestation here, clearly I can tell the reason why," Levi growled, pinning his broom in front of him. "Clean up this place, it's an order."
"W — Wait! Rat infestation?!" Ida paled at the sound of it, she hated rats, or more correctly, she was afraid of them. "Weird, I didn't see any rats so far though..."
She scratched the back of her head, bewildered by the turns of events.
"What?"
SLAM!
Suddenly, the door slammed shut, and the sounds of keys rustling to lock the door echoed through the wooden door. "Fuck!" Levi shot towards the door and started banging on it. "Oi! There are still people inside here!"
"Quickly, quickly! Before they break down the door!" Hanji's excited voice could be heard from beyond the closed door.
Ida ran towards the door in a blind panic and started banging on it too. "Shitty glasses! We're still in here, open up the door!"
"Eren, you're useless! Grow some more muscle!" Jean insulted his friend. "Even Mikasa is stronger than you!"
The sounds of heavy boxes being lifted and dragged along the wooden floor filtered through the door.
"I'm trying!" Eren snapped back at his friend. "Just how many boxes do we need to lift?"
"Oi brats! What the hell do you think you are doing?" Levi started banging even harder on the door, getting extremely pissed when he didn't get an answer once again. "If you do not open the door in five seconds, so help me Hanji, I will raze your damned makeshift lab to the ground."
The wooden door shook as if something had been leaned against it. "Squad Leader Hanji, will this be enough boxes?" Krista's kind sweet voice streamed through the door.
"Hopefully. Knowing those two, they'd probably just break down the door. So, the more the merrier!"
"What the fuck do you think you are doing?!" Ida cried, still banging on the door in anger. "Are you guys in the right mind to lock both of your superior officers in a fucking closet, open up this instance!"
"Ooo… They sound pissed." Ymir muttered amusingly.
"I don't even want to think about what they are going to do to us when they get out from there..." Armin admitted, his voice nervous and small.
"Open up this door and I will consider sparing your pathetic lives," Levi growled out a menacing threat, still banging on the wooden door. The door creaked, and from the sounds of it, there was something heavy outside the door to withstand his slams.
"What are you trying to achieve, tricking us into coming here?!" Ida immediately picked up on the situation, her voice growing desperate.
"This is revenge for hitting Eren, you irksome shortie!" Mikasa's cruel hard voice said through the wooden barrier between them.
"I'll skin Eren alive in front of you if you don't open this door," Levi gritted his teeth, starting to kick violently on the wooden door in an effort to break it.
"You can't get out of there, Levi! We sealed the door with over twenty boxes of blades!" Hanji giggled when she heard his loud kicks. "You're going to stay there until the next morning!"
Ida started kicking the door as well. "Hanji! What are you doing?!"
"We're going to play a game I read in my romantic erotic novels! It's called seven minutes in heaven!" Hanji declared and the entire gang belted out laughing.
"Who said we are playing your stupid game?!" Levi and Ida hollered out in unison, still desperately kicking and punching the wooden door, hoping that it would break.
"Uh, Hanji-san… If they are playing seven minutes in heaven, why do we have to keep them trapped until morning?" Armin nervously squeaked.
Hanji laughed musically. "That's because Armin, they kill twice as many Titans we do, so they get twice as many minutes!" she pointed out in a factual tone.
"How the hell did you even come up with that calculation?!" Ida screamed in exasperation. "Plus that would be only fourteen minutes, and here I thought you weren't that stupid!"
"Hahaha! My bad! Well, it's already been decided!" Ida could almost see Hanji's fanatical eyes gleaming sadistically as she spoke. "You two can thank me later for the precious alone time that I've planned for you!"
"I will say my thanks to your beheaded head, shitty glasses," Levi growled threateningly, but unfortunately, Hanji didn't seem like she was going to be taken in anytime soon.
"Good night, Captain!" Krista giggled. "I hope you have a nice night with Ida-san!"
"You stupid brat! Acting like a goddess when you're a devious demon!" Ida screamed, upset that she was fooled by Krista lies — where was the sweet angel that had so politely informed her that she had found her sweet stashed?! She should've known that this was a trap the moment Levi strolled in.
Ymir defended her best friend protectively. "Hey! Don't say that about Krista!"
Eren's nervous voice leaked into the storage room. "U — Uh Captain, I really didn't have anything to do with it! They forced me into it!"
A loud smack was heard followed by Jean's accusing voice. "Shut up, you were just as excited as we were when you heard Squad Leader Hanji's plans!"
Oh god. Ida didn't even want to think about what Hanji had told the kids.
"Eren, get me out and I won't make you clean for a week," she tried to reason with him.
"This is your last fucking chance, shitty glasses," Levi growled grouchily, still not giving up with his relentless kicks. He was hell-bent on getting out of here.
"There's no need to thank me, Levi! I thought you guys needed a little alone time!"
"What?!" Ida shouted incredulously, flushing scarlet at her scandalous comment.
"Hehehe…. Goodnight you two! By the way, you can be as noisy as you want because there's no one coming here until morning, I restricted this area!" Hanji announced proudly.
"God, this is hilarious, two of our leading soldiers trapped like helpless mice in a storage room." Jean couldn't help but laugh at his superior's pathetic situation.
"Shh, they can hear you!" Connie chided.
"FUCKING TWERPS!"
"SHITTY BRATS!"
"Let's go. Hopefully, that shortie learns his lesson." Mikasa grumbled. Usually, she wouldn't partake in a childish prank like this, but she had waited too long to get her revenge on Levi for hitting Eren during the trial.
"Extra supper for us!" Sasha cheered and the sounds of footsteps and laughter eventually faded away.
"I'M GOING TO KILL ALL OF YOU!"
"CLEANING DUTIES FOR THE REST OF YOUR PATHETIC LIVES!"
The trapped soldiers kept kicking relentlessly on the door. It creaked painfully in protest, but there wasn't even a tiny sign of it giving way anytime soon. Sighing and giving up, Ida placed her hand on Levi's shoulder in an effort to calm him down.
"It's no use, the boxes at the other end are just too heavy. We're trapped," she admitted ruefully.
Levi scowled, gritting his teeth in anger. "I'm going to butcher them all and feed them to the damned Titans."
"Well, it's all your fault we are in this mess in the first place!" Ida pointed out, pushing the blame towards him. Crossing her arms on her chest, she scoffed. "Are you an idiot or something for falling for Jean's stupid trick? You should've known there was no way rats would even live in here when you keep the place so damn clean."
"And what about you then? You come running into the trap like a little fat twerp the moment you heard that there was candy here," Levi bit back harshly. "Stinking brat."
"At least that's better than you! You act as if you're a rat exterminator! Why don't you quit the military and sign up for that job instead?!"
The two bickered on for an entire night. Thankfully, morning came faster than expected. One could only imagine Mike and Nifa combined astonishment when they found dozens of stacked boxes in front of the storage room.
"Holy crap, why the hell are all of these here?" Nifa said out in wonder, carefully carrying the boxes away. "Captain Levi would have a fit when he sees all these misplaced boxes…"
"Beats me, Hanji suddenly said that this was place restricted for her experiments. Who knows what that loony have done to this place." Mike replied, lifting up another heavy box.
After a backbreaking work, they opened the doors to the storage room to retrieve their gears.
"Ah! Shit!" Mike yelped out in surprise and took a step back when he saw two bodies huddled together on the floor. His eyes widened when he realized just who those bodies belonged to. "Uh… Levi… Ida…?"
Ida was the first to stir awake, dark eye bags underneath her eyes showing proof of a hard sleepless night. Nifa blinked in astonishment at the bizarre situation. "What are you two doing there? Were you two trapped?"
Rubbing her eyes, Ida didn't even bother to respond to her comrades. She knew that she looked like shit and her hair was probably sticking out all over the place
She smacked him. "Oi, wake up. It's morning."
Groaning, Levi too, looked like a complete mess. Mike and Nifa found it very unusual to see him in such a messy state. Levi was usually so neat and prim. Pressing his strained neck, his eyes darkened when he saw that opened door. "You look like shit."
"Shut up. We've more important things to do now," Ida growled, reminding Levi of the malicious promise that they made last night.
Stretching, Levi's face suddenly contorted. "Tch. There have been a lot of rats running around the legion lately."
"It's about time we sweep the floor." Ida agreed, taking the proffered hand that Levi extended out to her.
He pulled her off the floor and glared at the open exit, cracking his knuckles. "Time to do some fucking extermination…"
On cue, Ida and Levi stormed out of the storage room in a jiffy, hell-bent on catching every single one of the brats that conspired against them yesterday.
"…So what just happened?" Mike nervously asked Nifa, still stunned from the turn of events.
"Beats me, but from the looks of it, it's best to avoid them today. It looks like they are out hunting again."
True enough, screams echoed through the hallway soon after, signaling the capture of their first victim.
"CRAP!"
"SHIT! WE ARE SCREWED! LET'S LEAVE EREN AND RUN FOR IT!"
"I WILL NOT LEAVE EREN!"
"MIKASA! EREN WON'T DIE BECAUSE HE HAS REGENERATIVE ABILITIES!"
"HOW DARE YOU BETRAY ME, JEAN-BOY!"
o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o
Master Plan (Part 2)
Some people just never learn.
One prime living example is none other than Hanji Zoe. That lunatic Titan obsessed freak just never seemed to learn, not even after Levi and Ida hunted her down after her last attempt on playing matchmaker and gave her a good scolding for her insolence.
Ida had to admit. Sometimes, it was a good thing to be stubborn. But certainly not a point like Hanji's, and if having just one annoying match-maker in the legion wasn't bad enough, that four-eyed freak had somehow magically managed to entice the younger recruits into following her using some magical means.
And man, were they persistent.
All week Ida was worn out by her subordinates' attempts to get her and Levi together. They had tried literally every single method in the book. Hanji even sent her a lacy underwear with a fake note that it was from Levi and she had sent Levi a whip and a rope because she thought he liked dominance. The incident resulted in Hanji being tied in the courtyard with the underwear on her head.
"That stupid four eye…" Ida sighed at that memory, sinking further into her wooden bathtub full of bubbles. She smiled contentedly, there was nothing like a nice warm soak after a tiring Hanji-filled day.
There was nothing that could ever ruin this perfect moment.
Until, Levi slammed the door to her bathroom open, dressed in his cleaning attire.
They looked at each other in stunned silence, not knowing what to say or do. When it finally sunk into Ida that she was nude under the bubbles, she screamed. "What the hell are you doing there?!"
Throwing her packet of sweets that she holding, it hit her intruder right smack in the face and he fell onto the floor. "Shit!"
"BWAHAHAHA! HE FELL FOR IT!" Hanji boisterous laughing could be heard. She had told Levi that Ida's bathroom was a complete mess (something that it was irresistible to the clean freak). Of course, this master plan of hers required some planning. So, she had sneaked into Ida's room to screw up her door lock prior to the events.
Fearing for her life when she saw a red-faced Levi storming out of the bathroom, she ran away in a hurry to Erwin's office.
o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o
Misunderstanding Version 2 (Part 1)
Ida Starke hopped into the bustling mess hall with a large smile planted on her face. It was undeniable that she was in a splendid mood today. This bizarre change in behavior frightened her comrades. It was almost as frightening as seeing the clean freak Levi littering.
Walking through the mess hall, she spotted him. His usual narrowed bored eyes staring vaguely into space, raven-haired hair framing his chiseled face and his signature cravat and Survey Corp jacket. Although he was small in stature, he was undeniably large of presence.
"Levi!" she chirped, prancing over to the table he was sitting at. She grinned at Hanji, Mike, and a few of the recruits seated on the same bench before averting her attention back to her Captain.
"What?" Levi amused her in a dull tone, not looking away from his teacup.
Ida giggled, causing the rest of the bench mates to become nervous at her bizarre behavior. Was she plotting something malicious?
She slapped Levi's back happily. "Thank you for last night!"
"Huh?" Levi looked up from his cup, looking as bored as ever. "Oh, no problem."
The rest of the bench mates froze in shock, all looking at each other in disbelief as the conversation between the midget duo continued.
"I'm so tired," Ida yawned. "I hardly got any rest last night."
"Tired?" Levi growled. "I did most of the work last night, why the hell are you tired?"
"You took too long to finish," Ida argued. "I told you I should be on top!"
Hanji wore a strange look of confusion and a faint tinge of pink on her cheeks as she darted her glance back and forth at the conversing soldiers. Armin started choking on his bread, Jean paled, and Mike merely looked at Levi with a sense of manly pride. Eren, on the other hand, couldn't wait to spread this latest gossip, and Mikasa was blushing beet red while desperately trying to cover her adoptive brother's ears.
Unfortunately, Levi and Ida were so immersed in her argument to a point that they didn't notice the looks of horror, soft gasps of realization, and the blushing red cheeks from their fellow comrades that were misunderstanding their conversation.
"No way in hell, you will do a fucked up job." Levi snapped back in a ferocious voice. Things like this were very, very important to him.
Ida scowled, offended by his lack of trust in her. "I can do it much better than you!"
"Pfft. Yeah right, you're much better than the bottom." Levi rolled his eyes, placing his teacup down and glaring at her.
She stomped her foot like a defensive child. "I did not do that! It's not my fault that you were taking your god damn time until I felt so sore!"
"A — Ah! Armin, let's go and… CLEAN!" Jean said a little too dramatically, grabbing the poor coughing blonde by the arm and pulling him away from the table. Kids did not need to listen to a scandalous adult conversation like this.
Following the suit, everyone on the table apart from Levi and Ida got up simultaneously and left the scene, leaving behind a very confused pair.
"ERWINNNNN! I WON THE BET THIS TIME!" Hanji hollered down the hallway like she was injected with a dose of wild excitement and ran towards his office in a puff of smoke. She just couldn't wait to report this scandalous matter to her blonde commander.
"…The hell?" Ida raised a brow, appalled at her comrades' weird behavior. "What's wrong with them? You think Hanji scared them away with one of her Titan rants again?"
Levi shrugged, going back to drinking his tea. "Tch. I don't know." He held the empty cup towards her. "Refill it, it's the least you can do after I helped you yesterday."
Regardless of their quick adaptation skills in battle, Levi and Ida were just as dense as ever. Taking the cup from him she nodded her head. "Fine."
Unknown of the both of them, they had just stirred up another misunderstanding.
While it was true that Levi and Ida had spent most of the night together, but instead of doing scandalous things as their subordinates had suspected, they were out in the courtyard in the wee hours of the night.
"Hold that damn thing properly, I give you one damn job and you can't even do it right!" Levi's acid sarcasm could be heard even from the bottom of the ladder. Ida was wobbling the ladder too much and he just couldn't clean the brick roof in peace without fearing for his life.
With her hands clutched around the wooden ladder, she shouted back. "You're taking too slow! How much longer do you have to clean the damn roof?!"
Grumbling in irritation, Levi began to clean the tiled roof. "I held up my end of the bargain, so hold it properly. The roof is an obscene mess and there are dead leaves everywhere."
He made a horrible misjudgment on his part — he had totally neglected the roof in his cleaning routine!
It wasn't until Ida had come running to him in the night, begging him to help her hold a ladder so that she could save some abandoned baby birds that fell out of their nest did Levi realize just how horrible the state of the legion's roof was. It was dusty and full of disgusting dead leaves. The legion's gears were locked in the night in precaution for thieves so there was no way Ida could get up to the roof without a ladder.
Thankfully, Levi was still awake and she went to him for help.
"Fine! I owe you for helping me get the birds down, but could you hurry up my arms are sore!"
"Cleaning is a meditation, you can not rush meditation moron," came Levi's simple retort.
"Why don't we change places then? I go on top and you hold on the ladder at the bottom!" Ida tried to reason with him, an hour had already passed and her arms were getting sore.
"Hell no, you will do a pathetic job at the cleaning," Levi growled back ferociously.
Pissed that her Captain was taking too long, she began shaking the ladder threateningly. "Just hurry up already, I'm exhausted and my arms hurt!"
"Drop me and you are a dead brat." He held onto the roof when the ladder swayed unevenly. "I will send those stupid birds to the slaughterhouse if you don't stop shaking the damned ladder!"
Ida gasped in horror, looking protectively at the nest on the grass beside her. She smiled vividly when she saw just how adorable they were. There was no doubt that she was going to wake up in a splendid mood tomorrow.
o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o
Misunderstanding Version 2 (Part 2)
Just what did Erwin want with him did this time?
Still pondering over why everyone suddenly left the bench in unison just now, Levi wondered if they were trying to pull a prank. Knocking on the door three times, he entered the room. "What, Erwin?"
The blonde commander looked paled and stressed as if he had just experienced a recent shock of his life. Though it was to be expected, any father would be in a deep state of anxiety after a certain bespectacled squad leader came bursting in their office to report the latest scandalous news and collect her bet money.
Erwin cleared his throat, trying to remain composed. "Levi, take a seat."
The Captain plopped in the vacant chair in front of him, crossing his legs and strapping his arm on the chair frame in a casual manner. He raised a brow when he realized Erwin looked nervous. "What do you want?"
He paused for a brief moment before sighing. "Okay. Seeing that we are both men here, let's have a men's talk and be honest with each other."
"Sure why not." Levi embraced his commander with calm cold eyes.
"…Okay, Erm… So... how do I say this..." Erwin was struggling. The master strategist could plan a hundred ways to counter Titans any day, but when it comes to fatherly duties like this, he was a complete mess.
"Levi you… have to keep… personal matters to yourself." He beat around the bush, hoping that the Captain was sharp enough to pick up what he was saying.
"Personal matters?" Levi cocked his brow. "What the hell are you trying to say?"
"I — I'm not saying that it's not okay to do your uh… things… It's perfectly natural! But you don't really have to involve the whole legion in it." Erwin prayed that Levi would understand what he meant. He certainly did not want to hear any blood-chilling rumor about his daughter and him ever again.
Levi blinked, not understanding what Erwin was trying to say. Then it came to him, this was probably one of Erwin's stern reprimand session about his obsession with cleaning again. "Why can't I involve the whole legion in it?" he demanded hotly.
Maintaining the hygiene of the legion was every soldier's job. Levi just didn't understand why Erwin found fault in it.
"Because Levi, you should respect Ida." Erwin rubbed his face in embarrassment, he couldn't believe he was talking about things like this with Levi. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever imagine that he would be a potential future son-in-law.
Levi cringed the sound of the name. "I do respect her."
"Then I suggest you keep your personal matters with her out from the legion prying ears." Erwin looked at him in exasperation, his blue eyes looking imploring at him and hoping that Levi would understand.
Unfortunately for him, Levi was thinking about a totally different matter. "Why? It's not like she's embarrassed with it, she goes around telling everyone all the time."
Indeed, Ida wasn't one to be embarrassed whenever Levi gave her a punishment, she would always truthfully admit that she was being punished when spotted by a comrade, usually screaming 'That midget bastard made me do this again!' or something along that line. Ida was a repeat offender when it comes to pissing him off, so much to a point that it was common knowledge to the entire legion that Ida was immune to feeling embarrassed by now.
But unbeknownst to Levi, the blonde commander was talking about a different kind of 'personal matters'.
Erwin clenched his fist, his lips tightening as he tried to calmly reason with the Captain. He would need a good talk with Ida after this as well. "Fine, let's put that matter aside for now. Let's talk about taking responsibility."
"Responsibility?"
"Responsibility for your actions…" Erwin tried again.
Crossing his arm on his chest, Levi looked weirdly at Erwin. "You should know better than anyone that I do take responsibility, Erwin."
Levi couldn't understand what Erwin was fussing about this time around. Whenever he gave orders to clean, he would always check on the scouts' work regardless of how busy he was. He was that kind of leader that demanded perfection and truthfully, Levi truly believed that he was responsible for the state of everyone's hygiene.
"Well, that's good to know." Erwin nodded approvingly. "But, I think it's best to not let the legion know about your involvements with Ida."
"Why?"
Erwin coughed, clearing his throat. This was going better than he thought. "Because it's not very nice Levi."
"Everyone already knows that she's practically my slave," Levi grunted grouchily, rolling his eyes away. Was Erwin really that outdated with what is going on in the legion? He ordered her around all the time and honestly, he really did enjoy giving her tedious orders to put her brat ass in place.
"S — Slave…?" Erwin paled, his blood running cold. Did Levi forget that this was his daughter he was talking about?
"Yeah. She might complain and shit, but it's not like I treat her that fucking bad. I reward her sometimes," Levi nodded to himself, thinking about the times when he treats her with a piece of candy whenever she did a good job. Frankly, Ida was easy to manipulate if you knew her weakness. "Frankly, I believe she's a fucking secret masochist at heart, no matter how many times I punish her, she never ever listens."
"M — Masochist...? Punish?"
For the first time in his life, the blonde Commander blacked out from shock.
o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o
Cursing.
"Fucking hell, just die already you little piece of shit!"
Reiner and Bertolt looked at each other once they heard the hissing obscenities and threats of body harm growing progressively louder and graphic with each passing second. They knew where the source of the strident threats was coming from, it was no doubt's Captain Levi's. Reiner grinned and signaled for his friend to search for the authoritative figure.
Following the loud curses, it really did sound like Levi was about to disembowel a poor luckless scout. Nervously, they etched closer, contemplating if they should just run to the squad leaders to stop him.
It was well known that Levi's discipline lessons were a little... rough…
They wondered who the luckless scot was this time. Probably Eren?
By the time Reiner and Bertolt had finally spot the elite soldier, Levi had already successfully managed to get the damn stains out of his white pants.
Turning around, he looked for his detergent. "Oi Ida, which asshole used my detergent again?"
"How the hell would I know? I don't touch your shit! I gave the laundry job to Reiner and Bertolt yesterday!" Ida shouted back.
Reiner and Bertolt paled, they had always wondered who was the owner of the marvelously expensive detergent, and they might have used a little too much yesterday without permission. They turned around and ran before Levi discovered that they were the culprits.
Sadly for them, Ida had spotted them before they had a chance to make their grand escape. "Levi, there they are. Go and ask them yourself."
It turns out, Reiner and Bertolt were the poor luckless scout today.
o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o
Birds.
"Ida, I have no fucking idea how you manage to get the damn thing up here, but you have got just ten seconds to get that filth off my bed. All four of them, else I'm burning them with the sheets." Levi snarled at the redhead on his bed. "And that includes you."
He had come to his room in the middle of his office to pick up a few documents, and that's when he found out that Ida had sneaked into his room and shamelessly made herself comfortable.
Unfortunately for him, he didn't get a response. Ida was knocked out and was happily napping on his bed awhile the baby birds that she had rescued a few days back chirped around her, walking around his perfectly clean, freshly washed sheets.
He wanted to make mincemeat out of them when he thought about their dirty little feet trekking all over his bed. Levi cringed, scowling at the birds in disdain.
Levi fumed at her indifference, as usual, Ida remained completely unfazed to the toxicity streaming out from him, it was almost like she was immune to him or something. Anyone else would have jumped out of the bed the moment he heard his stern voice, but Ida was different, she just didn't care.
"Is that my extra cravat that those things are sitting on?" He gasped out loud in disbelief when he caught a white familiar object that the birds were making a nest of.
"It is." Levi felt his anger reach an all-time high when he went forward to inspect it, confirming his suspicions. Glaring at her sleeping figure, he cursed. "I'm going to beat your sorry ass so hard that you won't even get to take a proper shit for a year."
He contemplated on just kicking her awake, but her peaceful face made him do double-takes.
o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o
Rumors concerning your Superiors that you never knew.
Rumors about Levi Ackerman
1) His cravat is said to be a cursed talisman that would make him shrink one millimeter every year. Apparently, Levi doesn't know about this.
2) The first time he enlisted as a scout, the entire Survey Corps was rendered immobile for a week because Levi made the entire legion clean.
3) Captain Levi secretly likes being around children because they are the only ones shorter than him.
4) Captain Levi sleeps with lavender-scented silk pillows to help with his insomnia.
5) During formal meetings and whenever Ida Starke cruelly insulted his height, he places insoles in his combat boots to boost his height and confidence.
6) He can't climb onto his horse without assistance or a wooden stool.
7) When he first joined the Survey Corps, the stables boys attempted to assign him a pony instead of an actual horse.
8) Once, Squad Leader Hanji had purposefully placed all the important documents on the upper shelves. Captain Levi used her as a human stool for a week for her insolence.
9) It was said that after Captain Levi joined the Survey Corps, the rate of scouts falling ill to infectious viruses dropped by 70%.
10) One time, a new recruit gave Ida Starke a rose and tried to court her, Captain Levi got so pissed he made the poor guy eat it with just a death glare.
11) Mike once revealed his secret to obtaining his height to Captain Levi. He said that he was so tall because with every Titan he killed solo, he grows a millimeter taller. Captain Levi believed him and killed ten Titans by himself that very expedition. Up till now, he still prefers to go solo because he still believes in Mike's theory.
12) He secretly suffers from constipation, that's the reason why he always looks like he's about to take a hard shit all the time and is obsessed with toilet jokes.
13) Once, the scouts led a furious protest to Erwin that 'cleaning' should be a forbidden word in the Survey Corps. When Levi heard of this, he threatened to resign on the spot.
14) Captain Levi has a small, but loyal following among hygiene-conscious housewives in Wall Sina.
15) Before his promotion to Captain, Levi Ackerman used to frequent the gambling dens of the Underground City in hopes to recruit manpower to the Survey Corps when some idiot wagers himself.
16) Ida Starke had once said that Captain Levi admitted to her that he has a late growth spurt. Because of that, there is a large betting pool in the Survey Corps on what height he would reach in a few years' time.
17) Captain Levi signs off his reports with a drawing of a poop.
18) Once during a meeting of the three military branches, Captain Levi snatched Darius Zackley's glasses off his face to clean it mid-meeting because it had a fingerprint on it, and nobody attempted to stop him.
19) Captain Levi holds the record of having the most extensive collection of tea leaves collection within the Walls.
20) It was said that due to his meager salary and his expensive addiction to tea, Captain Levi had once taken a side-gig to be a model for a certain brand of cleaning detergents at Wall Sina.
Rumors about Ida Starke.
1) Once, Squad Leader Hanji Zoe fed her precious Titans specimen Ida's sweets for experimental purposes. The desperate redhead cut open the Titan in an attempt to retrieve it back out.
2) She likes to read adult romance novels in her free time.
3) Once, Captain Levi had issued a sweet withdrawal punishment. Ida got so lethargic from the lack of sugar that she fell off her horse, into a mud pile and slept in it.
4) She nearly strangled a Military Police officer to death once using only her cloak because he joked that eating sweets is forbidden whenever they were having a formal meeting. The soldier only survived because Erwin had to physically subdue her.
5) It was said that she steals sweets from orphan children to feed her obsession.
7) Everyone in the legion has developed an 'Ida radius' on days when she looks like she was having severe mood swings.
8) Once, a man tried to hit on her using cheesy pickup lines. She responded by kicking him in the family jewels so hard, the poor man became impotent.
9) Ida Starke secretly participates in cage fights with big burly men in the Underground City in order to pay for her sweet addiction. She wins every time.
10) Before her enlistment to the Survey Corps, it was said that she was expelled from her noble family because she brought enough sweets to bankrupt the Starke family.
12) She had successfully plucked Commander Erwin's prized eyebrows when he fell asleep in his office once. The precious strands of blonde hairs are currently being auctioned in the black market and are rumored to be going for 50 gold coins per hair.
13) It was said that she eats Titan flesh to curb her craving for sweets whenever she leaves on expeditions.
15) Once, she tried to feed all the Survey Corps horses a 'sweet diet' claiming that they would go faster when they are sugar rushed. The upcoming expedition was suspended because all the horses fell ill.
16) She used to be a well-known wanted criminal in Wall Sina because she had successfully stolen over a thousand bags of sweets from the sweet shops.
18) Ida Starke is banned from entering over 13 sweet shops within the Walls because she went on a rampage when they ran out of stock.
19) One time when Commander Nile won in a bet against Ida. He asked her to steal Levi's cravat and give it to him. This incident almost caused a civil war among the Military police and Survey Corps when Levi went to look for it.
20) She had killed a 15-meter Aberrant Titan once just by throwing her lifetime supply of sweets on it.
Rumors about Hanji Zoe.
1) Once, Hanji Zoe stole all the linens in the Survey Corps to sew pajamas for her precious Sawney and Bean because she thought they felt cold.
2) On scouting expeditions, Hanji Zoe and Moblit occasionally discuss the 'sexiness' rating of each Titan they see.
3) Hanji Zoe was said to be the brains behind a popular brand of cleaning detergent in Wall Sina, a by-product of scientific research personally commissioned by Captain Levi.
4) She writes Titan erotica stories during her free time. According to Mike, he accidentally found a stash of it once. Dot Pixis is a fan of her works.
5) Her research lab is the forbidden garden of the legion. It was said that whoever goes inside would be cursed with insanity forever.
6) She makes little Titans dolls and talks to them whenever she feels lonely.
7) She had special glasses made for Titans to look more attractive by making her eyesight worse. Even the most grotesque Titan looks attractive when seen through her glasses.
8) Hanji Zoe got drunk in the mess hall once and openly admitted that she dreamt about a raunchy encounter with a handsome prince Titan.
9) Once, she decided that she would take on the Titan lifestyle for research purposes and went a few weeks without bathing. Captain Levi got so irritated with the rancid smell that he washed her down with a hose.
10) She was almost killed by Captain Levi because she had tried to bite him like a Titan to see how he would taste like. According to her, he tastes like soap and strawberries.
11) Monarchy had deemed 'listening to Hanji Zoe's lecture about Titans' a suitable capital punishment for robbery.
12) Once, at an annual Military summit, Hanji Zoe came dressed as a Titan in order to convince Darius Zackley to fund more money into her research about Titans. Apparently, she succeeded.
Rumors about Erwin Smith.
1) Commander Erwin's eyebrows are insured by the military.
2) Commander Erwin is the primary romantic hero ideal for the sheltered ladies of the aristocracy.
3) Due to his popularity among the aristocratic ladies, there are countless fanfiction novels about Commander Erwin in Wall Sina.
4) He spends over five hours a week on just trimming and plucking his eyebrows.
5) Commander Erwin is so prepared for anything he could even communicate with Aberrant Titans using only his farts.
6) Commander Erwin is so prepared for anything that when Commander Nile tried to trip him, Commander Erwin did a backflip and landed gracefully on his two feet.
7) When Commander Pixis got drunk at a formal gathering, he revealed to everyone that Commander Erwin wears a toupee.
8) Monarchy had deemed "Plucking Erwin Smith's eyebrows without permission" a capital offense.
9) Commander Erwin has official names for his eyebrows. Apparently, he calls the right one 'Wings' and the left one 'Freedom'.
10) Once, Monarchy hosted a special festival in the Capital to commemorate his eyebrows because Erwin forced them to.
11) Commander Erwin has a secret book of all the dirty secrets and scandals of the aristocrats which he used as blackmails to get them to fund the Survey Corps.
12) Commander Erwin is so charismatic; it was said he could inspire even the most devoted housewives to murder their husband for humanity.
"Eren, what are you doing?" Armin came running up to him. Eren peeled his eyes off the notebook and waved him over. "Everyone is looking for you, w — wait… Are you reading something?"
Eren slammed his notebook shut and smiled, tucking his precious collection safely into his pocket. "It's nothing, Armin! Just a little collection…"
The End
Hope you enjoy reading! If you have any suggestions or request do tell me :D. Reviews are also very much appreciated!