Humanity's Strongest Woman

by xDollfie

In every empire, there is an epic era that defies the boundaries of time and immortalized itself in the history books. For mankind, an epic era they will never forget has finally emerged. The war between humanity and Titans has finally come to a head. Love cease to exist in a time like this, but they found it, and promised that it'll be worth it. Every stubborn inch of it [LEVIXOC]

18. Unkeepable Promises

A/N: One of my reviewers p3nny did an amazing artwork of Ida and Levi! Do check it out on my profile, her artwork is amazing.

Chapter Revamped: 20 March 2020

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Humanity's Strongest Woman by xDollfie

Chapter 15 — Unkeepable Promises

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He couldn't believe it.

Erwin Smith sped through the hallways with elevated speed. Thomas came up hurriedly, catching up with his Commander's fast speed. "Commander Erwin, Squad Leader Mike has already left for Wall Rose with the recruits!" Thomas reported quickly, still trying to keep up with his commander speed.

"And Armin and Mikasa?" Erwin questioned grimly.

"As per your order, they'll attend the assembly in Wall Sina with you," Thomas told him, silently wondering where his Commander was rushing off too. "But Commander, we should depart for Wall Sina immediately, we'll be late for the assembly."

Earlier this morning, Squad Leader Mike left the headquarters with strict orders to watch over the recruits belonging to the 104th trainee squad while a thorough investigation was conducted on them. As distasteful as it sounded, they were all under suspicion of being an accomplice to Annie. Erwin had devised this strategy in order to fish out any accomplice, but although all was going well and according to plan, he couldn't believe that his two best soldiers were nowhere to be seen. They hadn't been down for breakfast and it was already this late in the morning.

"Has anyone found Levi and Ida yet?" Erwin inquired swiftly, thick brows clashing together.

"No, sir! I have scouts looking, but they are nowhere to be found!"

Erwin gritted his teeth in annoyance and barked out a command. "Prepare the carriage, we leave immediately once we find them."

"Yes, sir!" Thomas shouted back, stiffening in a swift salute as his Commander zoomed past him.

Of all of the days where Ida could have chosen to slack off, Erwin cursed inwardly.

To make matters worse, it seemed that Levi had disappeared too. Erwin had thought it was odd and he couldn't help but worry when neither of them had reported to him this morning. If it was just Ida alone, Erwin could perhaps understand, but this was Levi he was talking about. Although Levi's hatred for the Military Police was profoundly clear, it was also extremely unlikely of him to even think of skipping out on such an important event, much less forget about it.

Both Levi and Ida were one of the most important figures in the Survey Corps. Being in charge of Eren, they were expected to be at the meeting and yet, they were both missing at a time like this!

Erwin recalled back to the conversation with Levi yesterday. He could bet the safety of Humanity on the fact that he did indeed inform Levi that he was to come with him and Ida to the assembly held at the Stohess Military Police branch.

So what went wrong?

"Disappearing at a time like this…" Erwin grumbled, picking up his pace to their rooms to look for them. "Honestly…"

Erwin didn't even bother to knock when he came to Levi's room and he simply slammed it open. He nearly felt his jaw unhinge and drop to the ground at the appalling sight. Levi and Ida were still both fast asleep, oblivious to all the noises generated from the raging chaos in the headquarters as the scouts searched every nook and cranny for the sleeping pair. Furthermore, Levi had his arms wrapped around Ida's waist as they slept comfortably.

The Commander felt his anger uncharacteristically explode at that very moment.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING IN AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!"

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Gods, this was embarrassing.

It was bad enough that she had overslept and that she had to nurse and a pounding hangover all throughout the ride to Wall Sina. But to be awakened in such a matter by Erwin Smith? Ida wanted to hide in the stomach of a Titan. It didn't help that Erwin was practically glaring at her disapprovingly the entire carriage ride to Wall Sina. The message in his gaze was clear: he did not approve of Ida sleeping in Levi's room, clothed or not.

What the flying hell happened last night?

Even if she was completely hammered, waking up next to Levi and a shouting Erwin gave her little insight into what happened last night. Though the events of the last night hadn't completely come back to her, from the way Armin was shuddering at the sight of her, Ida could tell it was probably one hell of a hectic night.

The memories were fuzzy, but as she thought hard about it the entire ride to Wall Sina, she found the missing memories of her hectic night coming back to her eventually. She remembered forcing the poor recruits to drink, making Connie wear Mikasa's skirt that Jean had gotten her as a present, Armin kissing Eren…

And eventually, the image of her kissing Levi suddenly flashed in her head.

One part of her heart doubted that the kiss ever happened, but another part of her heart knew that it definitely did happen.

She kissed Levi Ackerman.

Oh, mother of Titans! What the hell had she done?!

It had been just only yesterday since that incident happened. Thankfully, Levi and Ida were so preoccupied with their duties that the only time they ever conversed was during official meetings with Erwin so Ida had a while more to brood about what she had done and what she was going to do.

"I commend you for identifying the Female Titan who had hid inside our walls, Annie Leonhart." The District Mayor started, his accusing eyes hard and firm. "However, what do you have to say about the damage done to the district as a result of your actions?

Ida watched as Erwin remained as composed as ever, an air of confidence and composure around him as he spoke, "While we endeavored to avoid causing any damage. In the end, property was lost as well as precious civilian lives. Our own deficiencies cause this to happen. I deeply and sincerely apologize." He paused and his voice turned unyielding, making his recent apology sound half-hearted. "However, had we allowed the Titan to escape and the Walls to be destroyed, the damage would have been far worse, and we acted while taking this fact into account."

She could feel herself zoning out of the assembly — it was the same damn thing over and over again.

Ida didn't understand why they were still discussing this, but one fact was for certain, Erwin was not liked among the higher brass. Though the summons of the Survey Corps leaders was placed on hold for a while, the government's decision to execute their mission unilaterally was as clear as day: they wanted to use this opportunity to disband the Survey Corps. In that sense, Ida was rather frustrated with the condemning way they were looking at their Commander.

"Do you have any proof that you did indeed prevent humanity's demise? You've been able to get nothing of Annie Leonhart, is that correct?"

Ida was keenly aware that her eyes were trailing towards Levi throughout the assembly. She didn't have any time to question Levi about it since the assembly took importance over anything else, but she didn't know if she could hold it any longer, she was becoming increasingly bothered by her thoughts and unsettled emotions. She sighed deeply, keeping her gaze pinned on her indifferent Captain.

She wondered if Levi felt the same disorientated emotions that she was feeling. If that were the case, none of it showed in his expression or actions. His face appeared completely neutral — as it often did.

Perhaps she could question Levi about that damned wretched kiss after the assembly.

Through the moonlight filtering through the window, Erwin's expression was undeniably dark. "Annie Leonhart is currently being detained deep underground. Despite the Survey Corps efforts to break through the hard crystalline substance that surrounds her entire body, over the past week we are unable to. Therefore, it is impossible to extract any information from her."

The District mayor's lips twitched. "In other words, your efforts were in vain?"

"I believe there's a value in simply having captured one of the Titans. Yes, I know for certain there are more. We must hunt down every last one of them..." Erwin's fingers interlocked, his voice turning grim. "...Every enemy… hiding within the walls..."

The district mayor scoffed indignantly, knowing that Erwin's words were directed to them as well. "Is that a threat, Commander—"

"COMMANDER ERWIN! IT'S TERRIBLE!"

A loud panicked voice boomed through the room just as the door to the meeting room slammed open, effectively snapping Ida out of her reverie. She turned her attention from her Captain to the panting scout by the door.

Hanji's eyes turned wide, puzzled. "Thomas?"

"W — WALL ROSE HAS BEEN BREACHED!"

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

The loud creaking of the wagon blended along with the hooves from the moving horses. The Survey Corps was traveling towards the Ehrmich District at the south edge of Wall Sina to investigate the appearance of Titans in Wall Rose.

Ida lowered her head and as the wagon moved on, listening to the snap and crackle of twigs and leaves beneath the wheels. The sounds became more and more distant from each other as the dirt road began to widen and less debris covered the tracks. Tilting her head to look at the night sky on a depressing note, the moon had a bluish-white tint that cast an almost visible eerie illumination on the dark area around them.

The overall mood of the traveling legion was depressing and foreboding.

"What are we supposed to do now…" Armin said dejectedly, looking at his feet. "Wall Rose got breached out of a sudden and now I don't know what we should do anymore. Even if we managed to deliver Eren to the front lines, I doubt it will change anything."

It was a devastating crisis, one that held great importance, yet Ida that found her eyes still wandering towards a certain Captain seated in front of her. God damn it, this was frustrating. As Ida watched him, there was nothing new she could discern from his carefully guarded expression. He didn't act any different, but she knew it was still too early to judge. Given the dire situation that humanity was in, Ida doubted that Levi even had time to think about things like this.

It was expected of him after all, he was a soldier like her. He was expected to put aside his personal problems and focus entirely on military matters. Suddenly, Levi looked up and caught her gaze.

As soon as Ida caught his stare, slight remorse consumed her and berated her for actually thinking about stupid things at a crucial moment like this. Before allowing herself to succumb to regret, she re-prioritized. Settling the dire circumstances in Wall Rose took precedence over her sorting out her personal feelings. She would deal with her stupid emotions later.

"Why the hell is that stupid priest from the Wall Cult still with us?" Ida found herself asking when she caught sight of a rather fidgety Pastor Nick seated in between Levi and Hanji.

Now that she had seen him up close, the old man looked strangely familiar to her, but she couldn't put a finger on where she had seen him before.

"Ah, well that… Nick and I are buddies!" Hanji wrapped her arm around the stoic Pastor Nick and grinned. "He knew about the Titans in the wall, but till now he has been keeping silent about the amazing fact! I've no idea why, but he seemed adamant about keeping his mouth tightly shut whenever the secrets of the Walls are concerned, even if he has to die for it. Apparently, the members of his Church know a lot more things about the Walls."

"Huh?! What the hell?!" Eren jumped from his seat, only to groan when the pain in his stomach intensified from the sudden movement. "Agh!"

"Calm down you're still tired from transforming," Mikasa helped him back to his seat and wrapped a blanket around him protectively. "You'll catch a cold, Eren."

"Eren, don't strain yourself." Ida chided him, a worrisome frown on her face. She traced her attention back to Hanji. "Why didn't you just bring the rest of the believers and question them then? Isn't it easier that way?"

"We could've asked some other believers. But he chose to come with us since the situation is different now. Apparently, he wants to see if he can stay true to his principles and keep silent even after seeing how things really are. He says he's going to judge with his own eyes and then he's going to ask himself," Hanji explained.

"But that's ridiculous! If you know anything, please tell us! What could be more important than preventing total annihilation of the human race?" Eren pleaded, but Pastor Nick seemed unconvinced.

"I wonder about that," Hanji told Eren, eyeing at the boy to calm him down. "The only conclusion I could come to was that there might be a cause more important to him than preventing the downfall of Humanity."

"Well... I guess he's got some guts. But I wonder about the other believers, hard to imagine those bastards have all got the same kind of willpower." A clicking sound was heard as Levi pointed a gun towards Pastor Nick's side, his voice in a dangerous deadpan. "There are lots of ways to make a person talk. I may be useless in combat right now, but I'm sure as hell capable of keeping close tabs on one old man. I'd sincerely like to avoid seeing a hole thoughtlessly blown through someone's body. I believe we both do."

Pastor Nick looked nervous as fear thrashed into him. Occasionally, Ida noticed Pastor Nick darting glances at her and for some reason that she could not comprehend, she just didn't like the way that he was looking at her.

Ida's lips tightened as an uneasy feeling started bubbling deep inside her.

"But never mind that, Hanji…" Levi looked over to the four-eyed scientist, reigning back his gun. "I didn't think you had any hobbies so dreary as playing with rocks."

"Well, you're right," Hanji chuckled. "This isn't just a rock. This is a fragment of the Female Titan's hardened skin that she'd left behind."

Armin lurched forward in surprise. "What! It's still there?"

"That's right! Even after Annie turned back into a human and was detached from her Titan body, well just look! It's not evaporating and it's not disappearing! It gave me an idea and when I compared it to a fragment of the wall, the two were very similar, down to their physical structure. In other words, the central pillars of the Walls were Titans and its surface was made up of their hardened skin."

"So some asshole decided to create Walls made of Titans to trap all of Humanity in it?" Ida concluded in disbelief.

Hanji hurried through her theories. "Yes! So that got me thinking… What if Eren transformed into a Titan and used his Titan's hardening ability to seal the hole in the wall?"

Eren was frazzled at that suggestion, darting his beady eyes to the Squad Leader. "Use me?! To seal the Wall?!"

"The material it's made of should be the same. If you can leave behind your petrified Titan body without it evaporating after you turn human, then just maybe…" Hanji trailed off but started again strong. "Of course that's only if something like this is possible. That's what I've been thinking about."

Hanji paused for a moment, the energy seemingly all drained from her body. "That means, saving Wall Maria and Wall Rose, depends on whether or not Eren can seal the hole…" she continued with a loud sigh, knowing even that theory seemed far-fetched. "I know that coming up with an answer for this is hard, but do you think you can do it?"

Becoming consciously aware of all the gazes moving to him, Eren could only stare back in dismay, mouth slightly open.

Ida frowned, picking up on his shock. "Hanji, stop pressuring him—"

"It's not a matter of pressuring him, Ida. The question isn't whether he thinks he can do it," Levi interjected sharply before he focused on Eren. "Do it. Look at us, there's nothing the military can do but flail desperately, so you have to succeed."

Ida bit back onto her bottom lip hard. She sucked her breath as she waited for Eren's reply.

"Yes, sir!" Eren reaffirmed, clenching his fist. "I'll seal up that hole!"

She sighed wearily at his determination. Knowing Eren, he'll be aiming that uncontrollable rage at himself if he fails and Ida couldn't help but worry. She wanted to protest that he was just a child and that they were pressuring him, but her better judgement told her that they couldn't afford to treat him like a child any longer.

"We're almost at the Ehrmich District, it's our stop isn't it?" Ida inquired, taking notice of their surroundings.

"Yeah. This is as far as Ida, the pastor and I can go with you." Levi deadpanned, addressing the group. "I leave everything to you, Erwin had decided all of you will make up an improvised team."

"I trust you get your role Armin? Just keep racking your brain together with Hanji," Levi addressed him dully before their stop came to a halt, then he turned to the teenage girl beside Eren. "Mikasa, use your ability to protect Eren."

"Yes, sir. I will." Mikasa replied rigidly, holding onto Eren's hand.

He considered her for a moment, "I don't know why you're so attached to Eren, but remember to control yourself, don't make another blunder."

Her eyes narrowed down at the stern reminder. "Yes, sir. I'll make sure there won't be any."

Anyone who had witnessed Mikasa battle prowess knew that she was a formidable foe. Even Ida, for that matter, recognized her potential immediately the first time she had seen her use the gears. Twisting her flexible body as she maneuvered the forest, Mikasa looked like she was already a veteran soldier and not that rookie that she was made out to be by many who didn't know her. For that, Ida was positive that she was capable of protecting Eren and felt safe leaving him in her care.

"Let's go," Ida muttered when their wagon came to a halt. Hopping off the wagon, she walked in silence next to Levi and the Pastor. Then, she felt it again, the searing glance that seemed to get every danger signal in her body ringing.

"What are you looking at?" Ida snapped at Pastor Nick, finally having enough. "Why do you keep on staring at me, old man?"

"Ida Starke." Pastor Nick muttered softly. The words seem foreign to his tongue. However, her chest constricted briefly when heard him speak for the first time — she just didn't like the way that he called her name. Though her name was well-known throughout the Walls, there was something eerie about how he said it.

Just when she was about to snap back at him, Levi kicked him violently in his back.

"Hey, keep walking. I don't need you getting lost and making extra work for me," he snarled, terribly annoyed by his slow movements.

Ida's lip thinned as she stared at Pastor Nick's retreating back.

Her intuition was telling her something was disconcerting about him, but what exactly, Ida didn't know just yet.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

She rubbed on her bandaged arm, silently wishing that the injury wasn't there. Ida wanted nothing more than to escape from the refugee camp and to fight on the front lines. The faces of the despaired refugees fleeing from Wall Rose was almost enough for her to saddle up a horse and follow Hanji's squad to battle. She hated being here, or to put it in franker terms, the atmosphere of the refugee camp made her unbearably uncomfortable.

Being assigned here brought back too many unwanted memories.

As she solemnly watched the refugees flocked into Wall Sina for safety, she took note of how they all had the same despaired expressions — heads hanging low, anxiousness etched on their faces, the feeling of hopelessness and desperation haunting the air around them. Ida felt disconcerted as she watched the refugees trail into the Walls. She bitterly recalled being in that situation before. The wretched feeling was still palpable in her memory and it lodged something in her throat.

The loud sounds of a crying child made her look up from the ground in bitterness. Yes, she recalled crying, calling out for her mother in salty warm tears.

Alone, lost and completely helpless.

Even now, she couldn't do anything but just sit and watch.

Snapping a hate-filled glower at the mortified looking Pastor Nick seated in front of her, Ida could hardly contain her rage when he chose to remain silent even after witnessing the horrifying state of the refugees, only willing to offer to name of a person that can reveal the secrets to the legion in place of him. As Hanji had pointed out, he was merely shoving the responsibility on someone else just to protect the church and himself, and with that conclusion, Ida's hatred for the man had reached its peak.

'Krista Lenz' was the name he offered and Ida and the rest could hardly contain their surprise when he said that.

"She knows the secret of the wall, and possesses the right to choose to speak it in public," he had said, looking even more conflicted than before. "Bring her here. She should be able to learn the even truths that we could never acquire. Though whether to speak those truths would be up to her."

After Hanji assembled a small squadron and left immediately to secure Krista Lenz, Ida took notice of how Pastor Nick held onto his strong silence even as he soaked in the tragic scene — as if his silence was the only grip of sanity he had left. She could understand his horror she supposed, being privy to the fact that he lived within the peaceful Wall Sina. Witnessing bloodshed for the first time was no doubt mortifying. As much as she sympathized with him, Ida just couldn't put a finger on why he was still hell-bent on keeping his silence.

Why? Just what was so important that nothing could change his mind?

If she possessed the knowledge that he had, Ida was confident she wouldn't stay silent as he did. She would be different. She would've made a difference in mankind's fight for freedom. Briefly, she contemplated whether the man was actually human — what other explanation can there be? How could he just sit back and watch after knowing how many people would be in plight should Wall Rose officially fall like Wall Maria?

Above all, Ida felt agitated at the fact that everything seemed to be just mystery piling on top of more unanswered questions. No one could have ever expected that the very person that Pastor Nick mentioned was none other than sweet Krista Lenz, but the Pastor refused to speak about the matter anymore when questioned further.

Personally, Ida had wanted to sock him in the face until he talked more, but she opted not to after Erwin's stern warning to not do anything rash.

"Here."

Snapping out of her thoughts, she looked up to find Levi shoving a field provision in her face. "Ah, thank you," she took it from him awkwardly and he settled beside her.

"Sucks to remain by the sidelines, eh?" Levi muttered, scowling at his own words. He swung his arms around the bench frame and leaned backward. "Who would've thought we'd be stuck with babysitting again. God really has a way to shit on us by breaking the damn Walls when we're in such a pathetic state."

"I guess..." Ida agreed sullenly, exhaling a long breath. "So... everything falls back to Eren being able to plug the breach with his Titan hardening ability and even with that, there's no guarantee he even possesses such a trait. It's just another of Hanji's theories."

"Tch. It's not about if he could do it or not. He has to, he doesn't have a damn choice." Levi grunted lowly, his frown crumpling at the hopeless of their situation. "Look at us, humanity still a pack of toothless prey running about like headless chickens."

"He's just a kid, Levi," she reminded him. "I'm worried."

"We're not playing house, Ida," Levi replied stoically. "Stop feeling bad for him."

Ida pursed her lips, nodding her head numbly. "If only that preachy old man there would start talking. But he chose to keep his damn mouth shut." She shot a detestable look at Pastor Nick, channeling all her frustration towards him. "Say, are you just trying to be a dick and fuck humanity over for laughs?"

"…" Pastor Nick remained silent, staring listlessly at her with the same disturbing expression.

"Maybe I should just cut off your tongue since you're so insistent on keeping silent. You don't need your tongue if you're going to stay silent forever right?" Ida snarled vehemently at him, hoping to provoke a response.

Pastor Nick flinched subtly at Ida's vicious words while he uncomfortably readjusted himself on the bench. It was clear in his reaction that he was disturbed with the woman's sadistic threats.

Levi scoffed, pointing his thumb casually to the seething woman beside him. "Feisty one, isn't she?"

Ida rolled her eyes at his inappropriate comment. "I'm sure you would take joy in doing that too, Levi. Don't start acting all saint now, you're the devil in disguise."

"And this devil got puked all over yesterday by a little brat. You owe me a brand new uniform and you'd be cleaning until your damn hands fall off when we get back." Levi grimaced at the traumatizing memory, he wouldn't be going near any drunks anytime soon.

They fell into an awkward silence after Levi unconsciously brought up the events of last night. Ida cleared her throat, shooting her nervous glance somewhere else. She hadn't confronted him about the kiss, and honestly, she didn't know if she had the courage to.

Levi didn't seem like he wanted to talk about it, so Ida planned to keep silent at least for now.

"Levi." Erwin's voice entered the vicinity.

He turned around when his Commander called him, "What?"

"A word, please?"

Grunting, Levi got up from the bench and followed Erwin to a private location away from prying ears. Ida felt the tension ease off her when the source of her anxiety left the vicinity.

But her sudden calmness was interrupted when she felt a piercing gaze gnawing at her head. She turned to find Pastor Nick staring at her once again.

It was unexplainable on her part but she couldn't help but shift awkwardly whenever Pastor Nick looked at her. She didn't know what it was about the old Pastor that bothered her and got her feeling unsettled. There was just something about the way he looked at her that held a captive audience out of her, something about the mystery surrounding his gaze that bated her breath and commanded her unwavering attention.

"Ida Starke."

For once, Pastor Nick was the one who initiated the conversation, but a highly conflicted expression etched his features. "You're the daughter of Elsie Starke aren't you...? That red hair and green eyes, there's no doubt about it... You're a Starke."

Ida found herself strangely unnerved when confronted but she replied in a steely sarcastic voice. "It's common knowledge. Why? Does it bother you that a disgraced bastard is keeping tabs on you, Pastor? Perhaps you'd like to pray somewhere?"

The bags of age under his eyes became darker, giving more potency to the scrutinizing gaze he was imparting to her when the bored-like expression on her face remained. "Why did you join the Survey Corps? You're a noble are you not?"

She scoffed at his ridiculous question. "Ha. Can't say that I haven't got that question in a while. It's already been over a year since I enlisted, old man. It's old news."

"I know that. You're Ida Starke, one of the leading soldiers in the Survey Corps..." he paused as if to bite back his works. "But the question is, why...? Why did you join the Survey Corps...?"

It was only when it came to Ida's attention that Pastor Nick was growing uncomfortable with her focused silence did she finally return her vacant eyes back onto him, suspicious streaming in the depths of her eyes.

The realization hit her hard.

"…You know me…" she said with conviction.

He kept his strong silence, neither denying nor confirming Ida's suspicion. A flash of doubt crossed his face as he studied her further like he was in a silent debate with himself.

"Talk," she demanded. Her acid attention finally fully focused on Nick. "What do you know about me?"

"I lived in Wall Sina. I knew about your household — the Starkes is a famous wealthy and prestigious noble family in the north district," he replied simply. His jaw clenched when the dubious lint Ida's eyes made him elaborate. "I — I... knew your uncle… Jaron Starke..."

Her chest constricted when he mentioned the name, striking a sense of disgust in her. Keeping her steely gaze still pinned on him, Ida hissed. "I was disowned by my noble household, I'm no Starke and I do not acknowledge my heritage. That bastard is not my uncle," she reminded him sternly, crossing her legs. "Don't put me in the same category as him."

"Why didn't you change your name to Smith then?"

It was a slip of tongue, an error of judgment, but when Pastor Nick finally realized his mistake, it was all too late.

He tried to open his mouth to make up for his slip of tongue, but a dynamic force choked his explanation midway. His explanation was futile now. Ida's hands curled around his neck, roughly pushing him towards the bench frame he was leaning on.

It didn't take long for her to put two and two together: illegitimate children, Krista Lenz, even her. How he possessed information about them and showed unyielding interest in their lives. How he looked at her as though she was a rare specimen.

Everything clicked.

A dark malevolent look crossed her face as she addressed the elderly man trying to maneuver his way out her powerful grip. "You know something..."

The violent confrontation had caught the attention of the soldiers bustling around them. Jean gasped loudly when he saw Ida choking the Pastor. "Ida-san! What are you doing?!"

"Stay away!" she commanded.

No one made an effort to step forward to stop her. Everyone stood stunned in horror when they saw the potent malicious look present on Ida's face. It wasn't because her commands had stopped them — it was because of the unmistakable thirst for blood in her vindictive eyes; the eyes of a cold-blooded murderer.

"You seem to know a lot about little girls and their dramas between their relatives, old man..." Ida snarled lowly, referring to how Nick knew about Krista's real identity. The clutch around his neck grew tighter. "Jaron never told anyone about my father, fearing that it would further taint his pompous noble household name. Even I didn't know who my father was until I was much older. So tell me, dear sweet Pastor, how did you know that Erwin Smith is my father?"

"Urgh!" Nick choked, struggling to get out of the chokehold, but he remained helpless, overpowered by the force.

Her sharp nails plunged deeper into his neck, livid over the lack of response. "Is my family related to the Titans inside the Walls as well? Do they know what you know too?!" she questioned with immeasurable ferocity. "I'm not like that stupid four eyes, I've no qualms in killing you right here if it pleases me despite getting an answer or not!"

"I — I don't know anything!" Nick stammered to conjure up a reply, choking for air. He was turning a shade of purple from the restrictive chokehold, but he was determined to take the secrets to his grave, to not betray his faith and to keep the ironclad pledge of his cult.

"Talk!" Ida demanded venomously, her eyes twinkling with malevolent thoughts just as a wave of strong vindictive emotions consumed her. She clutched down on his neck even harder, proving that it was no idle threat. "Fucking talk! Talk god damn it!"

"URGH!"

"Shit!" Levi's loud curse could be heard. He ran up towards his fiery-haired partner, roughly breaking her chokehold away from her victim and pulling her towards him. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Why are you even interrupting me! Leave me alone!" Ida screeched, shoving him away by the chest. Shooting an acid glare at her unwelcome disturbance, she felt her rage flare within her and she turned around to direct her wrath back to the wheezing Pastor once again. "I'd like to see how long that bastard could keep his ironclad pledge to remain silent when I'm through with him!"

"Stop it," Levi commanded, holding on her wrist to hold her back.

Ida did not appreciate his attempts to stop her. Rage had already blinded her. "Let me go!"

Unfortunately for her, Levi was the stronger force this time. Ida hissed in irritation, overpowered by his rigid hold. He considered her for a moment. "Stop being a damned brat. There's already enough havoc and panic as it is and here you are, strangling an old man for everyone to see like an idiot."

She cooled down just enough for her to consider his words. Ida looked around to see that all the scouts were looking nervously at her. She groaned in irritation, shooting one last hateful glare the wheezing Pastor before storming off to find Erwin in defeat.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

"So that's how it is..." Erwin Smith murmured, rubbing his fingers on his nose bridge when Ida finished her explanation. He moved his gaze towards the distressed-looking Pastor. "I suppose you still plan to remain silent?"

"…I don't know anything." Pastor Nick's lips tightened as he repeated the same thing he had been repeating.

"He's lying! This dumb system of ironclad pledge or whatever is getting on my damn nerves!" Ida crossed her arms against her chest as she glared disapprovingly at the Pastor. "Why didn't they just take the tongues of everyone in their little cult since they like to remain silent so much?!"

Unable to contain her frustration, she ran over to Pastor Nick and grabbed him up the collar again. "Talk! Give us something more than a stupid girl's name!"

Erwin tried to stop her. "Ida—"

"I said talk!" Ida insisted again.

"I — I already said..." Pastor Nick struggled, forcing his vocal cords to work. "K — Krista Lenz—"

"Yes, what about that brat?!" Ida snarled hatefully. "You said that the secrets of the Walls are entrusted to a single bloodline and she belongs to that bloodline right?! What about the Starkes then?! You already said this much! So tell me!"

"I — If you're unaware of your bloodline..." Nick stuttered, squeezing his eyes shut. "Then I — I cannot say anything else… It's not my r — right..."

Her green eyes flickered and she forcibly shoved him away. He stumbled backward. "What the hell do you mean by that? You're just pushing the responsibility to someone else again! You said that Krista was unaware of her bloodline but she is privy to the secrets of the Walls! So what happens when she ends up just like me and doesn't even know anything?! Are you going to just sit back and watch then?!"

"You and her... have the right to speak the truth about your respective bloodlines..." Nick murmured darkly, adjusting his collar. He calmly went back to the bench and sat down. "This is the most I can concede. I leave the rest in your hands."

"Maybe you require a beating to—"

"Ida." Erwin admonished sternly, sensing that many curious eyes were upon them now. She trailed his line of vision and seethed in silence. Sighing, Erwin stood up from the benches. "It's redundant at this point since his devotion is so great to a point that even death threats couldn't sway him, we have no choice."

Ida moved her gaze back to the blonde. "Don't you know anything then? Did Elsie tell you anything?"

She paused when she registered what she had just said and quickly averted her eyes away, clearing her throat. Ida had never once asked him about his relationship with her mother. She didn't see the need to. But due to circumstances, there wasn't really a choice now.

Erwin shook his head numbly. "I don't know anything about her family relation to the Wall Titans. Or anything about her family secrets at all."

"That's just great then," Levi snorted sarcastically, breaking his silence. "More shit for us poor folks to clean up."

"What about Jaron Starke?" Ida inquired, grimacing at the sound of his name. Every syllabus sounded like a curse to her. "Surely you knew him."

"Met him once but we had never once discussed Titans," Erwin admitted. He turned around when he heard the commotion going on with the soldiers happening behind him. "I need to have a word Commander Pixis of the Garrison, I leave things to you."

"W — What? Are you just going to leave things as it is? He knows something about the Starkes!" Ida stopped him before he could leave, in disbelief that he would let it slide so easily. "There's a high chance that they know about the Titans in the Walls or the truth about humanity!"

"I've more important things on hand at the moment, Ida," Erwin said, before moving to the Captain on the bench. "Levi?"

Levi waved him away idly, slouching back on the bench. "Sit down, brat."

With a sigh of defeat, Ida allowed Erwin to move away. Seeing a bunch of Military Police soldiers nearby, Levi made an irritated sound under his breath. "So monarchy is finally taking the Titans seriously. They even assigned their lapdogs here."

She followed his line of gaze to the Military Police Brigade officers nearby. Ida was aware that Levi never liked the Military Police. It was common knowledge that he held an open resentment for them because of their constant interference and attempts to undermine the Survey Corps.

It was a dislike Ida shared as well. She certainly did not appreciate their interference nor how they looked at the Survey Corps soldiers with judgemental eyes. To her, they were nothing but a herd of cowardly pigs. They hadn't shed blood, sacrificed their comrades nor have they ever experienced the horrors of Titans, so who were they to condemn their actions? Who were they to say that their fight for freedom was wrong? They have shut themselves away safely in Wall Sina, fattening up over liquor and making merry while the Survey Corps was constantly placing their lives on the line for just the small chance to get back the freedom that the Titans stole from Humanity.

It just wasn't fair.

"Tch." Ida clicked her tongue in disgust when she caught sight of another squad of Military Police soldiers arriving on horses. Scoffing, she turned to look at Levi and opened her lips to speak but flushed beet red when she realized he was intently staring at her.

Awkward.

Obviously it would be. She had shared a kiss with him, a very hot kiss if she might add and the after-effects were clearly still there. Ida couldn't believe what they had done. Never once had she thought about kissing him… Okay, maybe that was a small teensy lie. It wasn't far off to say that she did think about how it would feel like kissing him once in a while.

Putting the abrasive and acid-tongued traits aside, Ida admitted — albeit rather reluctantly — that Levi is a very attractive man, probably one of the sexiest and good-looking in the Survey Corps. However, Ida admired the midget more in terms of his capabilities than physical appearance, he was a great leader with superb commendable skills.

But what she truly loved about him was his heart.

Over the past year working together with him, Ida knew how her Captain was deep inside. Though he hides it well behind a veil of cynicism and hard glares, Ida was confident that he cares deeply about the people who trust and support him and goes to great lengths to ensure their safety and well-being, even at the risk of his own.

But no matter how well she knew him, it was at times like this where Ida had no clue what he was thinking. Levi seemed as indifferent as always, acting as if nothing had ever happened between them. This, of course, had induced a wave of insecurity in her.

Just what is he thinking about?

Steeling herself, Ida decided that she couldn't keep her silence about it any longer.

"…Why did you do that…?" she finally managed to muster out the courage to ask him after a long silence. She tried to suppress her growing blush. Still keeping her gaze pinned at the stationed horses at the stables, she asked again in a meek voice when he didn't reply. "…Why did you… You know…"

Being the perceptive man he was, Levi understood what she was trying to say immediately. He paused for a moment like he was astonished that she could still remember the events of yesterday's drunken night before he answered her in a flat voice. "Your drunk obnoxious screech was giving me a headache and I needed a way to shut you up."

Ida snapped her gaze back to him, gawking with incredulous eyes at the simplicity of his answer.

She certainly hadn't expected that!

"What?" Ida snapped, clearly offended.

Levi arched a brow. "What? You asked and I complied."

She bit her bottom lip. "That's it...?"

"Were you expecting something more?" Levi questioned stiffly.

Disappointment.

Ida felt as if she had fallen from the cloud nine she was on and down onto the concrete ground. When she finally hit the ground, just like everything else when it falls from such a height, she was flattened and scarred. Shit. What was she expecting anyway? A confession or maybe an explanation? She didn't know, but Ida certainly did not expect this. She was at a complete loss for words.

Just what made her feel so disappointed?

She should've known better, there was no way there was anything deeper in that kiss. Ida inwardly berated herself for even thinking about things like this for a moment when they were soldiers in the midst of war, she should've had her priorities set right.

Her fist clenched around her cloak. "No, of course not," she lied. Hurt and disappointed, she stood up and sucked in a deep breath. "I'll go find Erwin for a moment..."

Spinning her heels, she hastily rushed away from the scene to regain her composure.

Levi gritted his teeth when he watched her storm away, her silhouette dark and haunting. Pulling his eyes away from her forcibly, he restrained himself from chasing after her. An inner turmoil of contradicting emotions raged within him and he willed himself to suppress it.

He noticed that a certain priest was watching him silently. "You got something to say, old man?"

"She's hurt." Pastor Nick stated simply, raising his brow.

"Tch. Even an idiot can tell." He rolled his eyes dramatically, a pang of guilt suddenly shooting his heart but he allowed none of it to show in his expression.

If it was three things Levi was good at, it was fighting, cleaning and restraining his emotions while maintaining a stoic face.

Pastor Nick looked at the elite soldier in pity. It was a sad reality, the state of the lives that the soldiers were living. Levi was afraid — he was terrified of what would happen if he had grown too attached to Ida. It was the very reason why so many soldiers outright refused to get into relationships. There was no telling when any of them could die — if you were lucky, you could pass on before your beloved first. But that would only leave your loved one in grief.

In a world when anyone could die at any moment, emotional attachment brings nothing but grief in the end.

Knowing Ida, Levi just couldn't afford to hurt her like that. She was a sensitive person, kind at heart really, but she wasn't emotionally strong. Levi understood painfully well that if she had to go through losing someone she cared about again, there was no telling if she could ever recover. He could only hope that Ida would not grow too attached to him, though a small part of him was sure that it was far too late for that.

"Living is a precious thing," Pastor Nick suddenly spoke. "Seeing the state of war we are in now, it's best if you embrace the beautiful things in life."

Levi glared at the man. "Oh? Hearing that from you, an old man who has the potential to condemn thousands to their death just by keeping his mouth shut, I'm fucking convinced." he spat sarcastically.

"…Back before I joined the Wall Cult, I lost my family as a result of alcohol addiction." Pastor Nick admitted ruefully, looking down at his feet with regret. "…But being with my family was one of the happiest moments in my life. Even if I were to die today, I wouldn't regret it because I had truly experienced life."

Levi scoffed sardonically, disgusted by Nick's attempt to give him life advice. "Is that stupid reasoning why even death threats couldn't even sway you?"

"Maybe."

"Tch. Just shut up, the last thing I want right now is to get preached from an old idiot like you," Levi snarled, effectively cutting the idle conversation short.

Deep down, he found himself consciously aware of how he silently wished that he hadn't invited Ida to join the Survey Corps in the first place; she was too fragile for a job like this. A slight regret consumed him as he thought about the life she might be living now.

Remembering the times where Ida admitted she had dreamed of a normal life, Levi's heart sank even further. He wouldn't be able to give her that, she wouldn't be able to obtain her dreams of a peaceful life if she was to remain a soldier. There was no denying that Pastor Nick's words affected him greatly, but he willed to stay composed.

Embrace the things in life, huh...? Levi thought bitterly. Tch, what an irrational thing to say.

Levi had always valued practically over anything. It just wasn't realistic for neither him nor Ida to live a normal life. The titles that they carried were too heavy. Determined to shake off the depressing thoughts, he looked around for a distraction.

Spying Jean walking past, he called out to the recruit. "Jean."

"Yes, sir?" Jean reported, looking nervous.

"What's the situation now?"

"New Titans had stopped appearing at the first and second lines of defense. New searching parties had already been sent out to search for the enemy," Jean replied stiffly.

Levi raised a brow in surprise at that report. "What about the Vanguard squad sent to locate the location of the breach?"

"The Vanguard squads have yet arrived back with information about the breach," Jean reported, frowning. "There's a chance there is no Titan invasion, but we've yet to confirm."

"I see… You can go now."

Jean saluted and scurried away.

This was a good distraction for Levi indeed. Usually, when there is Titan Invasion, the lines of defense would have a hard time warding off Titans, but surprisingly, things were weirdly quiet for a Titan invasion. He pondered over the situation.

Could there be really no Titan Invasion?

"Hey! Look at this! We've come all the way here because it was supposed to be a full-blown emergency and look what we found! It's damn slow and peaceful here, huh?" A Military Police commented snidely, smirking when he spotted Levi from the corner. "Hey, Levi! Where's our prey?"

"Oh, you guys look like you regret it's peaceful in here huh?" Levi deadpanned. "Sorry for not providing you with a hot Titan date. Well, you may be outta luck this time around, but you know…" he trailed off, his eyes darkening. "There are always plenty of opportunities to go outside the Walls on a scouting expedition. So how about we all join forces and go fight Titans? You and us, together, side by side?"

As predicted, his offer struck the police officers with anxiousness. "W — We, uh… We have our work to do inland, you know… So…"

"Oh, what do we have here?" A chilling voice came from behind the police officers and they spun around hastily, meeting with a smirking Ida. Her smirk spelled nothing but trouble. They did not recognize her. "You know, the Survey Corps is in dire need of Titan feed, you useless lot seem fat and juicy enough to qualify. We shouldn't waste the citizens' taxes now should we?"

A nerve pulsed in a police officer's temple. "Who do you think you're talking to, you bitch—"

He moved to grab her collar, underestimating her petite size and her obvious injury, but Ida had outmaneuvered him. It took just one quick kick to the back of his knees for him to tumble to the ground before he could touch her.

"S — Sir!" The police officers around him immediately went to help their superior who was groaning on the ground.

"Tch." Ida glared at them indignantly. "As expected from you filthy lot, you'd even lay your hand on a harmless injured woman."

"Ida," came Levi's stern warning in his deadpan voice. "Leave those pigs alone."

The police officers' eyes expanded in recognition of that name. Ida hardly went to meetings at Wall Sina, preferring to remain unknown, so the rumors about her were all that the Military Police knew. Levi scowled, forcibly suppressing the rage that bubbled within him. How dare they try to lay their filthy hands on her?

"Oi." He hurled a death glare at the officers. "Get lost before I get up from this seat."

The police officers scurried away at that lethal tone, terrified at that threat. Meanwhile, Ida grimaced and made her way back to where Levi was. She plopped back to the seat beside him. "You should've just let me beat them up."

"Shut up." Levi snapped, infuriated that she purposely provoked them. "You could've gotten hurt. Will it kill you to stop giving me trouble for just one damn second?"

"You seemed to be having a fun time provoking them. I learn only from the best." Ida rolled her eyes, but then a thought struck her. She grinned mischievously. "Say… are you worried about me now, Captain?"

Levi bristled inwardly, but he maintained his stoicism. "It's the duty of a Captain to care for the ones beneath him."

She pursed her lips, looking unconvinced. "If that's the case, I'll get myself in precarious situations more often then. It'd be nice to have a knight and shining armor save me for a change."

"Tch." Levi scoffed and he glared at her. Was she teasing him? "That's fucking ridiculous—"

"THE VANGUARD SQUAD IS BACK! SOMEBODY INFORM COMMANDER PIXIS!" A running garrison soldier reported loudly to the crowd, cutting through Levi's sentence.

Immediately, soldiers disbursed like roaches and scurried to find the said Commander.

Exhaling a long breath, Levi stood up from his seat. "Looks like it's time."

Re-prioritizing, Ida followed suit. "Yeah, let's go."

They walked towards the meeting point. The Vanguard member looked undeniably tired and Levi immediately picked up the air of panic and anxiousness surrounding him. He didn't have a good feeling about this.

"W — We found no abnormalities or breaches in the Wall!" The Garrison soldier reported, fighting in short pants to gain his breath back.

Commander Pixis looked pleased. "I see… I thought so…"

"B — But the situation is grave anyway! When we were on our way back to deliver our report, we encountered the Survey Corps forces led by Hanji Zoe! They had several new recruits from the former 104th trainee squad that was not equipped with 3DMG with them… and among those recruits… There were three who turned out to be Titans!"

"Huh?" Jean gasped in disbelief, charging towards the soldier in shock. "What the hell are you saying, there were… more Titans among them?! Who?!"

"Jean, wait." Erwin held the boy back with a hand before addressing the soldier in a calm fashion. "What happened after their identities were exposed?"

"The Survey Corps engaged the Colossal and Armored Titan! When we joined the battle it was already too late and in the end, they had managed to escape with Eren Yeager!"

"What?!" Ida stepped forward from the crowd to the front. "They took Eren?!"

Erwin exhaled as he looked at Pixis. With a nod from the Garrison Commander, Erwin issued out his command in a strong voice. "Prepare all troops! We're heading towards the Wall in pursuit to retrieve Eren Yeager back!"

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Armored with her gear, Ida observed the chaos around her. Soldiers were scrambling around in preparation for the pursuit of Eren. Fear hung in the air. Any other day, Ida would've enjoyed a good laugh at the look of the Military Police soldiers looking like they were scared shitless just by the thought of going out beyond the Walls, but disturbing thoughts in her head prevented her from doing so.

She stopped a passing ash-blonde haired soldier. "Jean, prepare a horse for me. Any horse would do."

"You're going on this expedition?!" Jean looked taken aback, he did a quick once over at the gears attached to her waist and her full uniform. "But you're unfit for battle…"

"I can still move my hand, so go and get me a horse," she insisted, her tone clearly indicating what answer she was expecting.

"What do you think you are doing?" Levi came from the corner, holding onto his black jacket. He eyed on her attire, scowling at her when he registered what she was planning. "You're not going."

"Didn't you hear? Hanji and most of the superior officers are heavily injured," Ida retorted in a sharp voice. "In order to deploy formation for enemy detection, we'll need a lot of people, as many as possible and especially skilled ones. I need to be there."

"Do you think you are of any use with that hand of yours now?" Levi argued, looking at her bandaged arm.

"I can manage." Ida snapped back with just as much venom. She reverted her attention back to Jean. "Do it now, recruit."

"No, you're not going," Levi argued back with unshakeable determination. "That's final."

"We're sending children to battlefields, Levi!" Ida pointed a finger towards Jean in exasperation in order to state her point. She had made her resolute decision — she needed to retrieve back Eren, no matter what. She couldn't just sit around and wait. "Do you expect me to stay here like an idiot while they fight?!"

But Levi was unyielding. "I expect you to stay alive."

"Eren is my responsibility."

"Not when you're so pathetic to a point that you can't move your hand two inches without winching, so get back to the benches," Levi ordered sternly before turning to address Jean. "You can go now, go report to your assigned squad."

"Yes, sir." Jean saluted and walked away to report to his squad leader.

"Do you really think that I'd just wait here?" Ida stared at him with conspicuous ferocity. "Why the hell do you even care?"

"I've said this before, it's only proper for a Captain to care for those underneath him," Levi replied simply in a deadpan.

Ida rolled her eyes at his weak excuse, turning her heel to walk away. "Just leave me alone. I'd get the damn horse myself if I have to."

Levi cleverly spotted a blonde commander walking pass with his horse. With a confident smirk, he called out to him. "Oi Erwin, the brat wants to join the scouting expedition."

Ida stopped and gaped at Levi in disbelief that he would sell her out to Erwin. Damn it! She had planned to sneak in the expedition!

"That's such a low move!" she cried, debating if she should throttle him.

Erwin raised a brow and walked towards them. He looked disapprovingly at Ida's gears stuck to her waist. "You're not going Ida, that's final."

Ida wanted to curse Levi for selling her out. Frowning deeply, she made a steadfast retort. "You'll be needing all the men in the legion."

"I'll be needing capable and healthy soldiers Ida, not injured ones," Erwin argued. At the sight of her crestfallen face, he sighed deeply and placed a hand on her shoulders. "Just stay here and be safe. I got to go now."

Watching his retreating form, Ida looked on with worry and concern. From the reports, Hanji and the rest of the veteran squad leaders were severely injured — would he come back alive as well?

"Erwin!" Ida called out before she could stop herself. Erwin paused in his tracks and turned around. "Get back alive… with Eren..."

Erwin chuckled fondly at her nervousness. "Of course I will." Waving her off, he took his horses and joined his commanding squad.

A brief silence fell upon the two injured soldiers before Ida broke it with a small whisper. "…Levi..." She looked at the busy legion with a sense of helplessness. "Erwin is an impulsive calculating crazy asshole… But he wouldn't die right?"

"I'd be surprised if he did," he replied flatly. "That man has a vicious tenacity to live."

She knew Levi was right. She was worried about nothing. Erwin was a selfish incorrigible man who gambled with his men's lives. Being Commander of the Survey Corps, he was always placed in the most secured positions in the formation. He hardly even needed to battle with Titans for he was a too important figure to sacrifice.

So why…?

Why did she feel so uneasy?

Steeling herself, Ida looked towards her Captain with imploring eyes. "Can I make one request?"

Levi stared at her quizzically and she took it as a go-ahead. "Let's go to the Wall and wait for them at least… We can tend to Hanji and the rest... We can help the injured soldiers when they get back too," she clenched her fist when she saw the rising confusion on his face.

"...I can't help but feel uneasy for some reason…" Ida admitted, staring steadfastly at him. "We can leave Pastor Nick with one of the soldiers, he's too old to even try anything. Please?"

Levi was surprised that she would ask in such a polite manner. Scrutinizing her to pick up any traces of lies knowing very well that she could be tricking him, he exhaled softly when he discovered nothing out of the ordinary, only a pair of marble emerald eyes looking imploring at him.

"Fine. I was getting bored of this filthy place anyway, go get a horse for both of us." Levi relented reluctantly. "But only under the condition that you hand over your gear."

"Fine by me." Ida nodded. "You're not touching any of the patients though, god forbid that with your shitty medical skills, you'd probably worsen their condition."

Levi glowered at her with incredulous eyes, offended by her remark. "Ungrateful brat."

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

It was the first time she had ever watched the legion depart without her. The inspiring sight bated her breath and commanded her unwavering attention. Brave soldiers going forward unison without looking back, hearts joined together in a single goal and their capes fluttering in the wind...

The combined might of the Military forces; Garrison, Police, and Survey Corps charged towards Wall Maria in a bid to rescue humanity's hope, Eren Yeager. Meanwhile, Ida felt utterly helpless and disempowered. All she could do now was pray to every single God she knew that their goals would come to fruition.

Though the legion had long left, the mental image of them still hasn't left her frenzied thoughts.

Hanji stirred painfully on the ground beside her, dragging Ida back to reality. She squatted down and placed a comforting hand on her head. "Hanji, just rest for now..." she murmured soothingly. " You're in bad shape — you've already told Erwin about your theories on where the enemy took Eren so just rest..."

"E — Erwin…" Hanji groaned weakly, disorientated. "Where is he…? Did he... go already…?"

"The legion has left to get back Eren. Just rest now." Ida told her reassuringly, having just finished addressing her wounds. "We'll be bringing you back to camp soon to see a doctor… So, do your best to stay conscious, okay?"

The Garrison medical team stationed on the Wall were happy to retrieve Ida's and Levi's help as they were short-staffed, and Ida had spent the past few hours providing first aid to the injured soldiers.

"Where's Mike?" Levi suddenly came forward with a disturbed frown. He had been looking for the tall male, but he was nowhere to be found.

A stunned expression flashed across her face. "He's not here? Perhaps he left with Erwin?"

"S — Squad leader… He stayed back to defend the Titans for us to get away safely…" An injured soldier from Mike's squad managed to report weakly, groaning and turning on his stretcher. It took all his strength to even speak. "D — Don't know where he is now…"

Ida and Levi locked their gazes for a moment, both with knowing looks on their faces. Biting on her lower lip, she tore her eyes away as grief consumed her. Mike was a splendid soldier, a valuable asset to the Survey Corps, and a wonderful comrade. He was strong and yet he was gone, missing, probably dead.

This is the cruel reality of being a soldier, Ida thought wryly. Any day could be your very last.

After she had finished assisting the Garrison team with first aid, she left the job of transporting the injured back to the camp for further medical assistance to them. By then the sun was already setting. Clutching on her cloak as the cool wind kissed her face, she walked up to Levi who looked consumed and lost in his thoughts as he stared at the horizon.

Though subtle, Ida could detect certain sadness in his form. Levi and Mike were close friends, working together side by side for years; his death probably affected him more than her. Placing her hands on his shoulder, she gave him a small smile.

"We don't know for sure yet, he could still be alive," she tried to comfort him. "Believe in him."

Levi's expression contorted in response. "He's dead." He stated plainly, his eyes completely lifeless as he spoke.

Her grip tightened on his shoulders. Levi had always been much more practical than her. He knew that Mike was never one to leave his squad. If he had managed to get out of the situation alive, he would've joined his squad by now. The only reasonable explanation was that he was killed in the process of acting as a decoy.

Ida frowned when she observed how apathetic he looked. In the past, she would've thought how annoying perfect he was, but she knew better now.

She knew that he was probably fighting an inner turmoil within.

Levi was always strong, capable, and collected — but recently, Ida saw more to him than the emotionless face he always had on. All those times he had comforted from her, she found a different side of him, a more vulnerable side that only she knew.

"It's okay to grieve, you know."

He pulled away from her like it was a natural reaction. "Grieving can wait. We have more important matters on hand."

Ida couldn't help but grimace at his predictable reaction; as usual, he was being stubborn as ever.

The sun had already set by the time the Garrison was done with transporting all the injured soldiers back to camp. The noisy crickets sang around them as if to serenade the moonlight and the soft light reflecting off the glorious round moon kissed her wind-strewn hair as she sat down on the edge of the wall, swinging her legs off the edge.

Breathing in the cool crisp night air, Ida tilted her head upwards taking in the beautiful sight; a full moon glistening on the dark blue ocean, a somber theater with shimmering stars, an endless black sky that seemed to spread out to infinity.

Quietness, peace, all forms of light sleeping. Yet it had been hours and the departed legion had yet to come back.

Seeing how silent Levi was beside her, Ida opted to spark a conversation. "You know, back before Wall Maria fell, I could never understand why Erwin left us to pursue freedom — my mother told me that he was destined for greater things and that was why he couldn't stay."

The vast expanse of inky blackness darkened as the night went on, a light breeze among them. "Things are different now, sure. But back then, it has always been like that for over a century — humanity was always caged like animals. At first, I thought it was normal. I only realized that on my first expedition, that even the air outside is different. Everything was different. It was a world of hell but, it was liberating."

She turned to look at him. Pausing for a minute, Ida contemplated for a moment. "Were you like that as well?" she urged.

"Maybe," came Levi's simple reply, clearly disinterested in maintaining a conversation.

Looking at the vast wilderness beyond the wall, Ida bit her lip at his lackluster response. She didn't know how to comfort him. Suddenly, Levi stood up, narrowing his eyes at the darkness beyond the Wall. "They are back, we have to inform the Garrison."

Gasping, she squinted her eyes in the darkness until she spotted the legion.

"Heavy casualties…" Ida noted with dread.

The legion looked smaller than before, and from the way some of the soldiers were riding on their horses, Ida could discern that many were injured as well. Her heart started to beat rapidly as she thought of the soldiers that didn't make it back to the Wall.

Inwardly, Ida wondered what the death toll was this time.

She hesitated in moving. Ida knew that she had to face reality once again — the reality of facing the fact that some of her subordinates had departed to the other world. Truth to be told, Ida didn't know if she was prepared for it. Waiting by the sidelines for her comrades to come back to the Wall was much more different than fighting side by side with them. It was so much harder when you're helpless.

It was nerve-wracking to say at the very least.

"Let's go," Levi noticed her anxiousness and extended her hand to help her up. "They probably got Eren back," he reassured her. "Get up."

Looking at his hand briefly, Ida didn't hesitate to grab it. The warmness seemed to spread from her palm and throughout her body, reminding her of his presence.

"Trust in your comrades," Levi stated flatly when pulled her up.

Their interlocked hands lingered for a brief moment before he pulled away. Ida felt her strength escape her when he did and she reluctantly reeled her hand back in.

"Yeah…" she mumbled numbly. "As long as they got Eren back, that's all that matters…"

Levi nodded his head once before he started barking out orders to the Garrison stationed at the Wall to lower the lifts to retrieve the approaching legion. Ida found herself observing him. Then, her gaze moved back to her hand he held just seconds ago, and she curled her fingers shut.

And as long as I have you by my side, that's all that matters.

o o o —xπ{Ö}x — o o o

A wretched day of grief, Ida thought as she scanned the state of the legion.

Many of the soldiers were wounded, some couldn't even stand without support, and some even took their last breaths as they finally succumbed to their fatal injuries. The feeling of despair hung onto the air like poison, stinging her eyes with every breath she took.

"Hurry up and tend to the wounded first!" Ida hastily gave out orders, rushing towards Krista who looked faint. She extended her arms out to support her. "Shit! Krista! Are you okay?!"

She pushed a bottle of water to the blonde's lips. "Drink. There are no more Titans here, you're safe."

"Mikasa needs help too!" Eren supported Mikasa as she stumbled on her footing, holding onto her ribs. She gasped in agonizing pain. Shortly after, a medic went to attend to her.

"Rib fractures compounded by long periods of being shaken on a horse..." The medic noted, digging through his first aid kit for painkillers. "You better see a doctor quickly."

"I'm fine..." Mikasa muttered, raising a hand. But Eren knew better, her complexion was losing its color and her condition didn't look good. "I'm sorry… Eren… Don't worry about me..."

"You kids made it back alive... You did well." Ida approached them with her arms supporting Krista. She thanked the heavens when she saw that all of the 104th trainee squad members had made it back alive, she didn't know what she would do if they didn't.

Smiling wryly, she handed Krista to Armin. "Take care of her, I'll go help the others—"

"COMMANDER?!"

Ida's eyes expanded rapidly at the sound of the desperate call and she snapped her head towards the commotion. "Erwin?"

"Commander! Can you hear me, Commander?!" The soldier tried to support Erwin back up, but the toll from the massive blood loss from his severed arm was just too much for his body to take and he stumbled back to the ground in gravity's pull.

"Shit! He is losing consciousness!"

"Commander?!" Eren stood upright, horrified when he saw the state of Erwin. Did all of this happen because of him?

But the young boy's shock could hardly compare the paralyzed redhead by his side. Her lips quivered when she saw the massive amount of blood on his cloak. In an instant, her vision was blurred and she felt herself moving before she could even comprehend what was going on.

"Erwin!" Ida cried, charging towards the barely conscious blonde a few feet away from her.

No…

It's impossible…

Erwin is a selfish incorrigible man, he would've never put himself at risk…

He was the almighty Commander of the Survey Corps who gambled with everyone else's lives but not his own…

No… It's impossible that he'll be injured...

"Get out of my fucking way!" Ida screamed at the soldiers blocking her path, roughly shoving them aside. She instantly crouched down onto the ground, cradling Erwin in arms. The blood leaked onto her uniform and hands and stained it scarlet. "Erwin! Erwin! Can you hear me?! Wake up damn it! God damn it! What happened to you?!"

He couldn't die. There was no way he could. She wouldn't let him die.

"I — Ida…" Erwin only managed to murmur out, on the verge of losing consciousness.

"No, no, no," she breathed, shaking as she hugged him tighter. His body convulsed in her arms and she felt her erratic heartbeat stop when she became aware that he had lost consciousness. "Where's the medic?! It's an emergency!"

"C — Coming!"

"Hurry!" Ida yelled, shrieking as though the world was going to come to an end.

It was too much.

The hot pain shot up her lower back and then twisted around to her heart. The hot, stinging tears spilled out of her eyes as she cried over and over again for him to wake up. She couldn't see a thing; her eyes were giving up on her. Too many tears.

They couldn't take him away from her; not Erwin, not her father, not her only blood family left.

The medic hurriedly sat down beside the pair, observing Erwin's severed arm. His face darkened when he perceived the situation. "He needs blood, now!" he announced, rummaging through his kit urgently. "He has lost too much blood! If we don't hurry, he won't make it back!"

Ida blinked, disoriented as she tried hard to register his words but her mind was failing her. "B — Blood...?"

"Yes, blood!" The medic screamed back, snapping Ida back to reality. "Does anyone know Commander Erwin's blood type?! Anyone?!"

"Take my blood!" Ida instantly offered, one hand still cradling Erwin on her lap and another hand extended out to him. "We have the same blood type! Take however much he needs! Save him!"

"M — Ma'am we can't just take anyone's blood, we don't even know—"

"I'M HIS FUCKING DAUGHTER!" Ida shrieked back at him, rendering him speechless at the severity of her scream. "My blood type wasn't the same as my mother! So we have to be of the same blood type right?! Or at least compatible?! Fucking take my blood! NOW!"

"D — Daughter?" The soldiers around her echoed in shock.

"Commander E — Erwin's…?"

She felt the burn shoot up her chest when the medic stabbed her vein with a needle. But she felt no pain, she was too focused on the unconscious man on her lap to even react. The tears continued to run down her cheeks. The reek of iron-filled blood surrounded the air. Her mind was completely distorted and one-way.

All Ida cared about was keeping him alive. He had to live.

Why was she so frightened of the prospect of Erwin dying? Was it because he was a valuable asset to humanity? Because he was her father? Or was it because of both?

"What happened?" Levi suddenly appeared at the scene, pushing through the frozen soldiers crowding the scene. His blood ran cold when he saw Ida crouching on the ground holding onto Erwin. As she rocked him back-and-forth in his pool of blood, she was sobbing uncontrollably.

She felt numb to everything else around her. The world seemingly spun in slow motion as the medic tried to desperately stop the bleeding from his severed arm and Ida gasped for breath. It was getting hard to breathe. She became deaf to the raucous sounds and failed to notice the commotion happening around her nor that her secret connection to Erwin had been exposed.

The pain was enough to distract her; it was excruciating, insufferable and unimaginable.

The only thing she could focus on was keeping Erwin alive, and for the first time, Ida was glad that she was his daughter. His only flesh and blood. As her blood transferred to him through a tube and the medic started to bandage Erwin's wounds, Ida could never be more thankful for her blood ties.

The new set of tears sprung from her eyes, wetting her entire face. Her hands were trembling and her voice was strained. "P — Please… stay alive…"

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

She didn't move. She couldn't breathe properly. Her stomach hurt so much.

Her senses had dulled and Ida felt as if the whole world was on pause as she tried to comprehend what was going on, but her mind was failing her.

Levi kept his composure as best as he could when he walked up to her. She was still sitting in the pool of blood, completely paralyzed in shock. She had a plaster on her arm where the needle was injected to extract blood, but everyone had left her to be.

The Garrison team had already taken Erwin back to the camp for further medical assistance, but his daughter sat in the exact same spot, unmoving. She was so immobile that Levi wondered briefly if she was even still breathing.

As Ida breathed in and out, a short wisp of her disheveled red hair fluttered up and down with every breath. This reminder that she was alive and conscious did little to assuage Levi's concern for her.

No one dared to approach her after her outburst, no one but Levi.

A series of questions inundated his mind as she observed her.

What would Ida do when he was gone? What would happen if he — like every other brave soldier that had left — died in battle? Would she cry like this? Would she hate him? Would she forgive him for leaving her? Who would there be anyone to comfort her and control her emotions like he was doing now?

"Stand up," Levi commanded when he reached her.

She didn't respond, her pupils were dilated, but she was only staring hopelessly in front of her. Her mind felt so heavy, her thoughts scattered. Levi felt absolutely hopeless when he realized that Ida had gotten to this depth of despair — the depth where very few people ever returned.

"I said get up." Levi tried again, this time firmer.

He remained unfazed when Ida's condemning eyes pierced through him. "E — Erwin… where is he?"

Her lips quivered as she spoke and her glass-like marble eyes shimmered with unshed tears.

"He's being transported for further medical assistance," Levi informed her. He proffered his hand towards her again, gesturing for her to get off the ground. "Stand, you're covered in blood."

A new set of tears were falling down her cheeks, yet she showed no sign of getting up.

He frowned and prompted again. "Ida."

"They did this…" Ida finally said through gritted teeth. "Those bastards…"

Levi couldn't help but grimace when she got up to her feet, stumbling from the imbalance of her numb feet. "Where are you going?"

"I — I will kill them all… every fucking Titan Shifter out there…" Ida promised with vicious maliciousness, taking weak steps towards the edge of the Wall.

He immediately grabbed onto her hand. He knew what she wanted to do. "You can't go after them, not now."

"Let me go!"

Levi held her at her stubborn resistance. She struggled fiercely but Levi did not let go; her efforts were soon exhausted and she was reduced to tears, but she did not hold him back. He knew she could not bring herself to do it because doing so would mean accepting, and he knew she would never accept. Not in the state she was in now. She didn't even want to grieve at this point, to find comfort in his arms as she always had.

A low chuckle emitted from her throat. As her held back screams poured down her throat, she smiled — but it wasn't the kind of happy smile, it was a sadistic smile, one that only a heartless killer wore. Her eyes were vacant as if the real Ida had left.

"We need to leave," Levi said quietly, yet the rigidness in his voice made it clear that it wasn't a suggestion, but rather an order.

The sound that Ida made was one that Levi had never heard before — a cross between a sob and a strangled scream — and it shook him to his very core. She pushed against him, refusing to be held but he refused to release her.

"Stop this!" Levi snapped incredulously. "Fucking control yourself!"

She hated the tone of his voice — absolutely detested it. Sucking a breath, she gathered all the strength she had left and threw his arms away from her, stepping back. Ida's eyes lit up once again and the soft growl in her voice returned.

"Why should I? Why should I control myself? Yes, perhaps I have even lost my mind! Would that satisfy you then?!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Levi snarled back, still reaching to grab her, but she stepped away.

"Everyone's gone! THAT'S WHAT WRONG!" Ida's angry eyes bulged. She looked up at him, stopping him in his tracks. Through her tearful eyes, she croaked in excruciating pain, the strength that was in her voice before dying. "E — Everyone is leaving me…"

As the tears continue to slowly gain passage out of her eyes, Ida wiped the stinging tears away from her face, trying to look strong. "Everyone is dying, everyone is leaving… I — I don't want this… I don't want to be the lone survivor anymore..."

His voice grew softer, but it was still firm. "Erwin might survive. There's no telling yet," Levi reminded her, feeling his heart straining as he watched the pain in her eyes.

"Shut up," she snapped, retreating from him further. "So what if he survives today? So what?! What about tomorrow or the year after that?! Can you be so damn sure that he'll live — that everyone will live?! Can you honestly look me in eye and tell me that with those things just waiting to butcher us like cattle, everyone's safe?!"

"You'd die if you go after them," Levi reminded her calmly in a deadpan. "Is that how you wanted to die? Not too long ago, you wanted to die heroically, with a purpose."

Ida had no other words. Still, she kept her eyes pinned him on. The last of rationality reminded her that he was right. Long ago, when she had resigned herself to death. She remembered wanting to die heroically, to at least have a purpose in her miserable existence.

He heard her breathe in shallowly and her body shook with a tremendous effort to stay standing.

"Why are you always stopping me?" she croaked. Now, her anger had grown absolutely irrational. It was all too much for her. She was too spiteful at this point. "How can you tell me you care, when Erwin and so many other people are dying because of this and you won't let me go?!"

"I do care." Levi stepped forward, almost threateningly. He had enough of listening to her. He hissed with the utmost tenacity. "I do fucking care." He stopped himself briefly, absorbing in the adamant defiance and hatred from her. "But I don't want to see you die."

Upon hearing this, Ida's sobs renewed in strength — she knew as well that Levi cared. She had watched him, saw his grief through a painted expression, felt it during the rare moments that he was honest.

But what else could they do? They were so, so helpless.

She was so helpless to protect people.

Too helpless to fend against the cruelty of this world.

Levi registered her passively as she sobbed. What could he do at a time like this? What else could he say? He was just as helpless as she was. He dragged out a wry sigh, his eyes narrowing.

With that thought in mind, he whipped around and started to leave. Now that most of the superior officers were unconscious, Levi knew that he had to take command. Ida didn't look like she would be going anywhere for now at least — definitely not without her gears.

Perhaps what she needed now was time alone.

Fear struck her when she saw Levi's retreating back and a strange phenomenon occurred when her hands automatically reached out for him as if it was an instinctive reaction.

Ida rushed towards him suddenly and wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing her face into his back. "D — Don't go!"

Levi stiffened at her touch. His quickened heartbeat matched her gasp for air as she sobbed. He felt almost as if an eternity had passed when he turned back to face her, breaking her hold. Levi stared down at her tear-stained face, not knowing what to do. "You told me before, the strength of your comrades gives you the strength to move. So, stop being a brat and move on. We have to move on."

"I don't want to see you die too..." Ida croaked miserably, hating how pathetic she sounded. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. "... D — Don't ever die, don't even get injured, please… don't leave me like our squad did… Don't leave me too, Levi… Please, please promise me that at least… promise me that you'd live no matter what happens…"

At this point, her breathing stabilized and she seemed to have stopped crying. Still, she held onto him, as if letting go would cause him to disappear. That if she were to let go, he would disappear and become another star in the endless sky like their squad did.

And then… she'd be alone again.

The lone survivor, trapped in an endless nightmare of time-binding pain, chasing after the ghost of the past to cling onto whatever semblance of serenity she could find.

Levi said nothing nor could he bring himself to return the embrace. How could he? How could he be so sure? Ida would've hated him for lying. She had always hated apologies and lies. As sure as the sun will set every day, Levi knew he would have to leave her eventually too.

However, he found his lips moving before he could hold it back. "I promise."

It was an unkeepable promise, he knew. But it was better to lie at this point. Ida needed this. She needed something to cling onto. Strangely enough, even as Levi understood the sheer irrationality of it all, he couldn't deny that small flicker of hope in him when he promised her that he won't ever leave her.

She smiled sadly upon hearing that, peeling her face from his chest. Ida looked steadfastly at the man that she had admired for so long. As if it was a natural instinct, Levi moved his hand and wiped the remnants of tears on her cheek, and he found that he too could not avert his gaze away from her face.

He wondered briefly if she knew that it was an unkeepable promise as well, surely Ida did. She was a cynical fool. But then again, Levi decided that he was an irrational fool too for promising such a senseless thing.

They were both fools.

Gray eyes… Ida thought languidly, unable to tear away from his gaze. As haunting and cold as ever… The ever-perfect man...

His staunch stare still had the same effect on her as the first time she saw them — it made her feel vulnerable. But Ida decided that it was okay to feel vulnerable around him and that she did not hate it. Because at the same time, she felt safe. The glint of warmness hidden into the depths of his beautiful eyes was the only thing that kept her insanity at bay.

It was only in front of Levi that she could show this side of her; to show that she was still human, to show that she was weak and afraid, that she was nothing like the fearless hero that people had made her out to be. It was only in front of Levi that she allowed all the walls that she had painstakingly placed up to crumble to dust, leaving nothing but a messy array of raw emotions.

He was her Captain, her teacher, her confidante, and her pillar of support.

The perfect unbreakable man that she had once so passionately hated.

"Thank you.." Ida croaked as tears of relief cascaded down her face. She reached up and touched his cheek, admiring his emotionless expression. "Thank you for being by my side… Thank you for teaching me how to live… Thank you for picking me up whenever I fall…"

The world around them was eerily silent. The legion had left long ago in a hurry. Levi felt as if the world had paused around him. His eyes were still deadlocked into hers and for the first time in a long time, he moved, wiping another tear from her cheek. She smiled at his gesture, making no intention to move away.

"I won't leave you," Levi found himself promising stupidly again. It was suicide, Levi knew — but if promising such an irrational thing was the only thing that made her smile again, he would've made a thousand stupid promises.

"And I won't leave you too," Ida promised in a strained voice. "...Because we are the strongest, aren't we? And we can never fall, not until we have fulfilled our duties."

His eyes expanded when Ida once again lifted up her hand that was stained in a thin layer of Erwin's dried blood and she touched his face. Such an act would've usually repulsed him, but strangely enough, it didn't.

They both stared at each other, unmoving. Like it was a natural reaction, something overcame her, and Ida stepped forward, boldly planting her lips on his. Levi froze immediately, every muscle growing rigid, but he couldn't find it within himself to pull away.

The effect of her kiss was slowly sapping away his rationality, it was so intoxicating that his commendable willpower was a scrambling insignificant force against it. Before he could comprehend the implications of this, a guttural groan escaped him and he gave in, pulling her closer to him to deepen the kiss.

As he kissed her, Levi cursed the high heavens above as he drowned into her. Maddening, Ida was, but she was magical in every way that he could not understand. Levi knew he shouldn't have made that promise. He knew better than to be attached to her especially after seeing how their fearless Commander was on the brink of death — it was a grim reminder that anyone could die, even the strongest...

Ida could die…

And so could he…

But for once, Levi didn't really care. For once, he wanted to be reckless. He wanted to be irresponsible. He wanted his emotions to lead him. He wanted to not give a damn about the consequences. In fact, Levi didn't want to even think about what hardships lie ahead of them.

He wanted to be impetuous, honest to his emotions, and reckless like her.

He wasn't Captain Levi, Humanity's strongest, or even a soldier now. Despite being revered as the war hero everyone had made him up to be, he found himself to be nothing more than a simple man in front of her, stripped of his titles, his burdens and responsibilities.

He might live to rue over this impetuous decision, but Levi briskly shoved that sour thought back in his mind.

Nothing else mattered now.

They were nothing more than two irrational fools who made unkeepable promises and lied with a straight face with the stars as their witness.

Love was never easy in a cruel world where every day feels like a living hell. Love was a vicious emotion that could be your very downfall. Love was nonexistent in a world where Titans raged. But somehow, it all felt right in Levi's mind that moment. Even the strongest could fall, and perhaps the strongest did fall.

Perhaps if falling was this sweet, he'd continue falling.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

"I apologize, ma'am, but I do not have the permission to grant you access to the room."

Ida crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently. The guard was admirable in his rigid persistence to deny her from entering the room he was guarding, but he twitched nervously with each annoyance-filled tap.

"I'm a Captain in my own right and that's my Commander in that damn room," Ida addressed him with tenacity. "I've every fucking right to enter that room. So, move."

"I apologize, Captain Starke." The guard apologized stubbornly. "But I do not have the authority to—"

"Then call someone who does." Ida snapped in great annoyance, debating if she should just punch the guy in his face for preventing her from seeing Erwin.

The guard flinched from the animosity in her voice but shook his head stiffly. "I have stern orders—"

"Is Commander Erwin a prisoner now?" Ida interrupted again. "I'd like to know which idiot assigned you here. Where do you morons even think he's able to go with his condition like that?"

"I'm stationed here to guard Commander Erwin until he recovers and answers to the Royal summons—"

"He'll answer that stupid summon when the time comes and he's pissin' awake," Ida cut him off sternly. "Now get out of my face."

The guard stood up straighter at her insistence. "I can't—"

"Look." Ida stepped forward, tilting her head upwards to glare at the tall guard. Exhaling a sigh, she closed her eyes to contain her anger, before opening it to reveal a menacingly narrowed down emerald pupil. "I don't want to come to this, but move out of the way before I forcibly take you down."

"I'm sorry ma'am, but I'm afraid I can't do that." The guard swallowed. He knew of the famed woman in front of him and he could easily predict that she was more than capable of taking him down, but the higher-ups would never let him off if he were to allow her access to the room without an authorized permit.

Ida was just about to launch into an all-out assault, having just about enough with his rigid resistance to letting her in the room when a cool voice stopped her.

"I suggest you listen to her, she won't stop otherwise." Levi brushed past her, handing a piece of paper to the guard. "Here's your damned approval, now move."

The guard quickly scanned the slip of paper, before saluting and stepping aside. "Yes, sir."

Levi looked almost amused when he saw that Ida was staring at him incredulously. "You're always so quick to use force, Ida," he said flatly. "You should use your brains too."

"Shut up." Ida spat, fuming as she entering the room.

She waited for the door to shut behind her before she hissed out in annoyance. "Which stupid pig assigned that idiot there? Where do they even think Erwin is going to run to in that condition?!"

"It's a royal summon. Apparently, someone in the higher-ups is getting anxious," Levi explained coolly, eyes focused on the unconscious man lying on the bed.

Ida walked to the bed slowly and Levi's eyes trailed her. Dried blood still covered the front of her uniform and it took strong willpower to stop himself from telling her to wash up. He practically bit his tongue to do so. Ever since she came back to camp, Ida had been waiting anxiously outside the building for the operation to finish and wouldn't so much as move an inch despite Armin's concerns.

Lifting a trembling hand to touch Erwin's severed stump, Ida's voice grew low. "…He won't be able to continue on as Commander and fight anymore, right?"

There was a long pause before Levi replied. "He's unfit for battle but it's his brains we need."

"How fucking terrible…" Ida murmured. "For a man like him with so much great ambition to be crippled like this…" She clutched onto the sheets of the bed as the pain in her chest seared. "How fucking terrible…"

Levi watched with a solemn look. Ida sniffled when she noticed that he was throwing surreptitious glances at her as if to judge her mental health. "I'm fine," she wiped off her tears, trying to look strong.

"I never asked," Levi answered monotonously, walking towards the seats.

"You're worried about me," Ida confronted him. "Don't."

There was a short pause as if Levi was contemplating on believing her. He grimaced. "Don't be ridiculous, I'm not worried. You're Ida Starke, if you allow something like this to stop you, I'll personally send you to hell because that's an embarrassment."

Ida knew Levi better than to be offended by his words. She didn't dwell on it when Levi threw her an emergency ration bar. "Eat, you haven't had anything since yesterday."

"Thanks..." Ida murmured, peeling off the wrapper and biting into it. It was just as plain and dry as she remembered it; nothing good, but still filling. She lifted her gaze as she reached the midway point of the ration bar, her expression speaking volumes. "I'm going to stay here until he wakes up…"

Levi raised a puzzled brow. "I know that already. Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I'm asking for permission," Ida replied solemnly. Levi looked surprised by her answer. He definitely hadn't expected that from her. Exhaling loudly, she explained herself. "I know I've been rather irresponsible ever since I joined the Survey Corps… I apologize. I also know that we have many things to settle and do because of the breach.. and we probably have our hands full as it is, but in the meantime, I want to stay here… So please, relieve me of my duties for now..."

At Levi's silence, her gaze dropped to a comatose Erwin. "Just one more time, Levi. Let me be, for one more time... After this, I won't be deterred because of my emotions anymore. Seeing Erwin like this, it's clear to me that we, as the soldiers fighting for humanity's freedom, have to carry the corpses and cross the river of blood in exchange for the new generation to live in happiness... Erwin believed that in order to make a change, we have to throw away our humanity. At first, I thought he was just selfish and heartless because it wasn't his life he was sacrificing… But he proved me wrong when he threw away his arm to get Eren back… He's utterly and completely devoted… isn't he?"

Ida smiled sadly when she moved her gaze back to him. "So, just one more time, let me grieve for the part of myself that I must kill in order to be strong. After that, I'll go back to fighting, back to my duties, fully devoted, and even stronger than before. Now that Erwin won't be able to fight anymore, I'll inherit his will."

Levi looked slightly amused by her narration. "So, you finally decided to not be a nuisance brat?"

"Asshole." Ida rolled her eyes at his inappropriate comment. Couldn't he just say something nice for once? She bristled inwardly when she realized he was still staring at her and tried to suppress a glowing blush. She tried to ignore what she had done back in the Wall and thankfully, Levi didn't even mention it.

She would brood about this later when humanity wasn't in a constant threat. For now, Levi had more important things to settle.

With a sigh, Levi stood up and headed for the door. "I'll do something about the damned guard outside. And permission granted is for your leave."

"Wait."

Levi frowned. "What?"

"I'm sorry," Ida said evenly, not even facing him. "For what I said on the wall... I went overboard..."

"Are you seriously apologizing right now?"

Ida ignored the mocking glint in his question. Was it that ridiculous to even think that she would say sorry for something she said that clearly went out of line? "Yes, I'm apologizing, Levi. I, who have been by your side all this while, have no right to even insinuate you didn't care about your comrades. It was childish of me, I was so caught up in my grief. I got obstinate despite everything. So, I'm sorry."

For a moment, Levi felt like he was at a loss for words, but he settled on another question. "So what? Are you expecting to say you're forgiven?"

"No," Ida turned around slowly to meet him. "I don't expect to be forgiven. But I meant what I said. I don't want to see you die. So, I expect you to keep your promise."

He snorted at her remark but he didn't answer. Without another word, Levi left.

He was at the door when she whispered again and this time it was only the unconscious Erwin who heard her.

"Thank you for caring about me too."

Once she heard the door clicked shut, Ida placed the half-eaten ration by the side. Her stomach was just a pool of churning mess and she was sure that she couldn't force down another mouthful without vomiting everything out. Holding onto Erwin's hand, she pressed her cheek to her, praying that he would be up and well soon.

She had watched Hanji fret around worriedly to fill in his shoes and Levi had become even more irritable ever since Erwin had come back with a serious life-threatening injury. It wasn't that Hanji and Levi were the only ones affected by what happened to Erwin, but the change in them was the most notable. It was clear to Ida that everyone in the Survey Corps thought Erwin would be leading them forever and now that he wasn't, they felt like they were all kids stumbling in the dark.

Everyone felt strongly for Erwin who had been at their center, they respected him.

Everyone but her...

Ida had always seen him as a selfish ruthless Commander who cared nothing about his comrades. Respect was the last word she would've for the man. Frankly, she had always wondered time and time again why someone like Levi would follow Erwin unquestionably. In fact, why would anyone ever follow him? He was playing God with their lives, he did not care about them at all. He was not worthy of their respect. Erwin was always on the backlines, he never had to put his life at risk.

But as she stared at his severed hand that was now securely bandaged, recalling how Armin had told her that he had sacrificed himself in order to get Eren back, Ida found herself drawing back her previous sentiments.

Perhaps she had wronged him all these while. And while the doctors had assured her that he would survive, Ida couldn't help but worry that he would never wake up to hear her apology for misunderstanding him.

She breathed in deeply in regret as she looked at his peaceful sleeping face.

Erwin is a tenacious man with a furious will to live, Ida reassured herself. Even if he had lost his right hand, he was still an asset to humanity, a vital figure to lead the Survey Corps. After all, she would be here, by his side, as his right hand and inherit his will.

She closed her eyes and rested her head on the edge of his bed. How stupid. Ida couldn't deny it anymore, she cared about him...

This selfish ruthless man who she detested...

Whether it was because she had grown to respect him and understand why he is such a vital figure in the Survey Corps or whether it was because he was her father, Ida didn't know just yet. But she made a promise to herself to do everything in her power to keep him alive.

She had to be stronger.

For Erwin, for Levi, for Hanji, for those youngsters who consciously bear the sin of being survivors and are preparing for the next battle.… and for humanity.

Ida knew that an inevitable war was stirring in the darkness within the narrow Walls but frankly, she just didn't know how prepared she was just yet.

---

After this chapter, I'm going to be focusing more on the plot now, rather than humor/relationship development. Actually, most of the funny scenes are there for the characters to bond and establish a relationship. Now that we're at that point, I feel that I have kind of neglected the plot. So, this chapter is to kick start the main plotline! Thank you for reading!

Have a fantastic day!