A/N: Wow, I don't know what else to say. 200+ reviews and follows, I could've never imagined that! Thank you so much for your support & for giving this fic a chance!
Chapter Revamped: 23 March 2020
Humanity's Strongest Woman by xDollfie
Chapter 17 — The Gamble
She stared at her in incredulity, contemplating if it was possible for someone to go over the same topic repeatedly for an hour. Every time Hanji Zoe paused in her rant and got Ida thinking for a moment she'd finally run out to topics to explain, she'd only continued on again shortly with the same enthusiasm.
"So as I was saying! What if we can educate Titans? Perhaps even one day, we would even have people falling in love with Titans and getting married to them!" Hanji concluded on a happy note, cheering her booze in the air. "Wouldn't that be nice? Just co-existing with each other?"
Giggling, the tinge on her cheek reddened. She leaned toward the impassive Captain beside her. "Do you see now Levi? How devoted I'm to saving humanity with my research?!"
Levi scowled, wondering how on earth did he get roped into this. "Yeah. I get how seriously crap your brain is."
"So are you saying that if you had the chance and Titans finally stop trying to tear our limbs apart from our bodies, you'd marry a Titan?" Ida asked, sipping on her tea and avoiding the alcohol that Hanji had served her — she just wasn't about to touch alcohol anytime soon yet.
"Hoho! That's private information, sorry!"
Levi snorted. "Tch. You're weirdly private for someone who never shuts up."
"Well, you guys are being weirdly kind for two people who never stop being a grouch! You've just listened to me rant for an hour!" Hanji squealed in a rambunctious high note. "Say, aren't you two supposed to be patrolling a while your squad sleeps? I thought standing guard meant standing outside the cabin with guns."
"We were standing guard." Ida reminded her pointedly, her green eyes hardening a considerable amount. "Until someone dragged us back in the cabin to share a drink with her. Plus, it's cold outside and I don't want to freeze my ass off."
The first gleam of sunlight filtered through the windows soothingly, warming Levi's face. "Oi, it's morning. Don't you have to go to Ragako Village with Connie?"
"What?!" Hanji gasped, pulling her hair in horror. How could she forget? Today was an important day for mankind in learning about Titans! "Oh my god! We need to leave!"
"I'd get Connie." Ida stood up. She patted her hands together, sweeping off any dust on it.
She was just about to pivot around when Levi abruptly stopped her.
"Wait…" Levi suddenly got up from his chair as well. His eyes narrowed, spotting the microscopic pieces of dust floating in the air. Hanji watched in confusion when he took his index finger and swiped it on the table.
"When was this place last cleaned?"
"Eren and the rest cleaned this place yesterday. Why?"
"Tch. They call this cleaning?" Levi threw her a pointed look. "I can make this damn place twice as clean within ten minutes."
Hanji chuckled at how stringent Levi was. But Ida knew better than to laugh, Levi was being serious — deadly serious in fact. If it was sparkling clean he wanted, it was sparkling clean he was going to get. That was why when Levi suddenly turned to the hallway where all the rooms were, Ida hurriedly placed herself in front of his path, blocking him.
"You're not waking the kids up just to clean some stupid table!" she stated firmly, poking him in the chest.
"Move." Levi grimaced, trying to get past her but Ida wasn't budging for all the sweets and candies in the world. "How do you expect them to fulfill their duties as scouts when they can't even do this?"
"No!" Ida said unyieldingly, mirroring his hardened gaze. "They need to sleep! Especially after all that had happened recently — they deserve a good's night rest. If you want the table clean, do it yourself!"
An exasperated hiss escaped Levi as he began to thickly protest with lowered eyebrows set over stern-looking eyes. "Move it, if those brats are going to be in my squad, I'd need to teach them a thing or two about hygiene. Since when do you care about them anyway?"
He shoved past her with a loud thud but Ida wasn't going down without a fight. "Hold it!" she held onto his shirt, refusing to let him go. "I said, no. You're being unreasonable."
Angered by the crinkles developing on his shirt, he roughly pivoted himself around. But in doing so, he had accidentally hit Ida's recovering fractured arm. "Listen you—"
He stopped midway when Ida cried in pain and immediately crouched to the ground, holding her hand.
She had thought that her injury was fully healed. In fact, she was perfectly fine during the sparring session yesterday. However, she wasn't fully healed and it was only hours after the sparring session did Ida experience chronic pain. Hanji had said it might be nerve damage, but Ida certainly hoped that wasn't the case.
Hanji hurried to her, concerned. "Levi!" she chided him. "Why did you have to—"
"So this is my fault?" Levi glowered indignantly. Ida was the one who was holding onto him! How was he supposed to predict that he'd actually hit her hand when he turned around?
"It's fine, Hanji," Ida stopped her from protesting anymore. Her one eye was still closed as she willed the pain to subside. When it did, she focused her glare on Levi. "I'd clean it later, I promise. You're not going to disturb them and I mean it, Levi."
She didn't even wait for his reply. Getting up, she quickly pushed passed him. Hobbling her way through the hallways, Ida was still holding her injured hand for support when she disappeared past the door to the boy's room to find Connie.
"Hoho, you made her mad," Hanji commented snidely, snickering behind him. She could practically feel the anger and frustration radiate off Levi. She huffed and crossed her arms across her chest, placing on a serious stone-faced expression. "But really, Levi, she's right. Your squad looks tired. You should be more considerate."
"I didn't ask for your analysis, Hanji," Levi told her evenly, storming off with a dark expression.
Back at the boys' room, Ida was livid, but she could do nothing but suppress her scream. She had made a promise to herself not to argue with him anymore, but Levi was just so aggravating! Biting her lip, she slowly walked further into the darkroom, taking soft footsteps.
Eren was knocked out on his lower bunk bed, his blanket halfway up his leg. She smiled when she saw the dried drool at the side of his mouth, glad that he was sleeping well. It has been days since she last saw Eren or any of the squad members sleep for that matter — the truth that Reiner and Bertholdt were Titan Shifters was a harder pill to swallow than expected.
Ida picked up the blanket and slowly pulled it over to Eren's neck. She ruffled his hair fondly before moving to Connie's bed and shook him slowly. "Connie, you have to wake up. Hanji is waiting for you."
To her surprise, Connie immediately opened his eyes and sat up.
"You didn't sleep at all?"
He quickly got off the bed. "No."
She held onto his shoulder before he could leave. "Hey, no matter what you find out… Don't beat yourself over it."
Connie did not reply to her. Crestfallen, Ida released him and he walked out of the room. She released a long sigh when he was gone.
What else could she offer other than empty consolations? It wasn't as if she didn't know loss herself nor how excruciating it was. But at least, she wanted to be there for him like Levi had been there for her.
o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o
"Oi, Ida."
She peered over the shoulder when she heard Levi's voice and was greeted with the same stern expression that never seemed to fade. The scowl he wore darkened the dark bags underneath his eyes. Ida rolled her eyes away from him indignantly. No doubt he was looking for her and was getting impatient.
"Ah, my favorite Captain," she drawled with a sarcastic glint to her voice. She shielded her eyes with her hands from the glaring afternoon sun. "Were you looking for me? Sorry, I didn't know. Connie and Hanji have already left for Ragako Village."
Levi's hooded eyes watched her. The biting words, the sarcasm, the glares. They all pointed to one conclusion — she was mad at him. For goodness sake, was she still mad at him for what happened this morning?
Ignoring the anger practically radiating out from her, the adept Captain pierced her with a stare. "You should get some sleep, our shift is over."
Ida hardly even spared a glance at him. "You'd probably disturb my well-deserved rest anyhow, so why should I? Is there anything that needs a good dusting, sir?"
"You're still mad?" Levi asked before he could stop himself. He crossed his arms. "You look as if you're about to turn around and punch me."
The look on her face changed for a brief moment and Levi smirked at her deviousness. Had she really thought about it? Clearing her throat, she hurled a death glare at him. "And I would, you stupid midget. Are you seriously trying to fracture my arm again? It's not even fully recovered."
He relinquished his glare and looked away from her and to the fields that surrounded their hideout. Nothing but endless grass that covered the earth, but the scenery was unusually interesting at the moment.
Without thinking, he blurted, "I didn't mean to—"
He stopped himself halfway. What the hell was he doing? An apology was the last thing Ida wanted, she hated apologies without any resolve or alternative solutions. But much to his surprise, her face softened, "I know. You never meant to hurt me and I know you can't help staying in a dirty place. I understand."
Levi's lips thinned. He knew he had more to say than that but she had taken the main words right out of his mouth. And so, he just observed her. At least she didn't look particularly angry anymore, perhaps just annoyed.
After two whole minutes of silence, Levi couldn't take it anymore. "Why are you even here? They left ages ago."
"Look," she muttered, rolling her eyes back to the large tree in front of her. "It's a Magnolia tree, the flowers are in bloom now."
"Magnolia?" echoed Levi as he steered his head and followed her gaze to the tree studded with beautiful white flowers that contrasted with the bright green leaves.
Ida nodded dreamily. "It's pretty rare within this part of the Walls, even I have never seen it before."
She exhaled loudly, the wind picking up strands of her red locks and bringing along the faint scent of the wildflowers in the forest. "It's beautiful, right? The innocent color of white, unstained and pure, the petals delicately flowing out from the stems... Say, do you know what the white Magnolia means?"
Levi regarded the woman beside him carefully, observing how peaceful she looked. "What?"
"Purity, perfection, beauty and perseverance."
"Oh?" Levi raised a brow at her answer, glancing back up at the tree. "So even a brat like you can appreciate the beauty of flowers, eh?"
She chuckled softly, tucking a strand of red hair behind her ears. "What a thing to say. Of course, I can." She took in a long breath, enjoying the afternoon air. The air was warm, but not too warm, and there was the lightest breeze for comfort. "It's funny how things as beautiful and pure as this still exist in the world we live in, don't you think so— Eh?"
Ida did a full turn on her heels, looking for her missing companion who was just beside her a moment ago. Then, she heard shuffling sounds coming from the branches of the tree above.
"Levi?" Ida cocked her head to the side in perplexity.
How on earth did he climb the tree that fast?
The branches shifted to the side and Levi popped from between the branches. "Oi, catch."
"Huh?" Ida sounded, moving forward with outstretched arms just as a branch of beautiful Magnolia flowers in full bloom landed within her palms. She clutched the branch tightly, staring it in confusion while Levi plopped down from the tree beside her, landing skillfully on his feet.
"What's this?" Ida mumbled, touching the soft white petals. "You want to decorate your room with flowers now?"
Levi dusted his hands. "No, it's yours."
"Eh?" she blinked. "Mine?"
"You like them right? It's for you." Levi confirmed in a dull monotone.
Ida tried to hide her blush behind her flowers shyly upon his confirmation. Was she delving too deeply into it? What was Levi trying to do, giving her flowers out of all things now? A lot of people randomly pluck flowers for someone, right? Just like how a lot of people would receive them without a second thought. Just because Levi would climb a dirty tree for her doesn't necessarily mean that he… well, he likes her right?
Because that would just be downright ridiculous.
Was this perhaps, his way of apologizing for what happened this morning?
"Like them?" Levi made it clear in his tone for the answer he was expecting.
Ida could only lower her eyes and nibble on her bottom lip as she nodded numbly. It was a half-shy, half-submissive gesture that she rarely lets loose unless she was around him.
Levi couldn't help but smirk to himself. "Good."
He was surprised that it evoked such a reaction from her, in fact, a lot of things surprised him when it came to Ida nowadays. She was much more open, shyer, more delicate. She wasn't like how she was a year ago — stiff, stringent and without emotions. Levi didn't know if it was because she had grown comfortable around him, but from what he observed, she hardly ever showed this rare sight of her to others. Only him.
And he felt… special in a sense.
"Uhm… Thank you."
Levi recoiled inwardly when he saw that shy red blush on her cheeks as she peered with wide emerald eyes through the gaps flowers. He cleared his throat loudly and averted his eyes away. There was a stirring of something in his chest and it struck deep.
He turned around stiffly. "Whatever, just get back inside. You got the stupid flowers you wanted, so stop wasting time here gawking like an idiot at some stupid tree when you can be doing something more productive."
Ida wasn't sure what she was supposed to feel when Levi said that. A part of her was flattered — because, hello, the ever-stiff midget was giving her flowers! — but another part of her was almost… disappointed upon hearing his comment.
She didn't know why, either.
There was nothing really all that disappointing about having a friend give her flowers. At least, there shouldn't have been.
"Alright, let's go back." Ida nodded numbly, following him back to the cabin where the rest of the squad was waiting.
As they walked side by side, she played with the petals of the flowers, mumbling something incoherent underneath her breath. Unbeknownst to her, Levi was paying acute attention to her soft mumbles.
"Oi, what are you trying to say?" he demanded in annoyance. "Speak up and spit it out."
"Eh?" Ida snapped her head up, confused. "Oh. I was just wondering what kind of flower you would be. I mean, there isn't really a flower with the meaning of 'clean-freak midget bastard' or 'you're an asshole', you know."
"Tch. Only idiots will think of something like that." Levi grumbled irritably, his lips twisting into a scowl.
She rolled her eyes dramatically at his comment. "Fuck off. There's no way there's a flower in this damn world to describe you. You're far too disagreeable and complicated!"
Ida watched his expression contorted and she smirked. "Hmm, but if I've to choose something that perfectly describes you… it would be…" she paused again, nibbling on her bottom lips as she contemplated her choices. "A geode..."
Levi stopped in his tracks at that unfamiliar word. Was she trying to insult him right now? Because it certainly sounded like a pile of dung from some animal of some form. "What the hell is a Geode? A fancy word for shit?"
Ida bit back a laugh as she stopped beside him, looking at him straight in the eye. "It's a rock."
"A rock?" Levi echoed incredulously.
Out of all things to relate him too, Ida relates him to a damn fucking rock? After all the things he did for her? After he tolerated all of her bizarre sweet obsessive antics and disrespectful insults?
Was she asking for a death wish?
"Yeah. It's a rock," Ida elaborated, starting her walk again. "A Geode is a rare volcanic rock that is found in the extinct volcanoes in Wall Sina. I saw one when I was little… It's an ugly rock; dull, gray, and rough around the edges… No one would even think of approaching it or picking it up at first glance — just like how no one would ever approach you after seeing that stupid pissed-off expression you always had on. You just look too intimidating and disagreeable."
"Stinking brat," Levi scoffed fiercely, feeling that familiar burning sensation in the tips of his fingers. He itched to drive a well-deserved punch to the face of the cocky shitty brat who was now shaking her head in what appeared to be disbelief.
"Wait for me to finish, asshole," Ida snapped sternly, rolling her eyes at his impatience. "...Despite its outside appearance, if you break into a Geode outer ugly shell, it's filled with sparkling beautiful purple crystals… Which is why it's highly prized because it's so hard to find."
Levi's eyes widened a fraction, the feeling of irritation suddenly vaporizing into thin air, and he stared at her wordlessly as he waited for her to elaborate, which she did.
"It's just like you, don't you think? Highly valuable as a soldier, since talent like yours is so hard to find… but you've such a disagreeable aura that just unsettles people. You put on such a hard ugly shell around you that hardly anyone would even approach you... You walk around with that dumb intimidating scowl so nobody really sees the real you."
She stopped in her tracks and so he did. Slowly, she drew her gaze to his. "But I've always seen you… You're sort of cold, grouchy but you're mostly kind and warm inside. You care for your subordinates deeply and you show how dependent you are… So, you're a Geode, only those who would take the time to break your shell can see you for what you truly are: kind and caring."
A silence followed her statement that got Ida recoiling inwardly when she realized what she said.
What the hell was she even thinking, saying something like this to Levi? Had she lost her mind? Ida grated her teeth against her bottom lip, anxiety creeping through her veins like frozen slush as they continued to stare at each other in tense silence, standing side by side.
The silence that loomed around them seemed to last forever, the atmosphere growing tenser by the very second. Ida became greatly aware of his haunting penetrating gaze that seems to pierce right through her. She couldn't make out what he was thinking. She could feel the heat from how close their hands were beside each other.
If she were to move just an inch, she could hold onto his hand. The warmth emitting from his calloused hand was so intense to her as if begging for her to clutch onto it.
Levi too had realized this. Unknowingly, he moved his fingers towards her hand barely one inch away from his, but upon touching the back of her hand with his fingers, he suddenly pulled away and broke the gaze.
He straightened his back and Ida swore she caught the rise of a blush on his cheeks when he looked away. But when she looked again, he was wearing the same intimidating scowl.
Crap, there really was something wrong with her. Now she was seeing things.
His voice held no indication of the awkwardness Ida felt. "You're thinking of stupid things again. If you have time to think of dumb things like this, go and clean the cabin."
"Whatever." Ida awkwardly continued with her march towards the cabin at a glacial pace. She played with the flowers distractedly, wondering what had overcome her to say something like that.
Levi didn't move from his spot and he couldn't pry his eyes away from her retreating figure. A phantom feeling tickled his hands, wanting to grab onto her, but he resisted.
A thought crossed his mind that moment — if Ida was a flower, what kind of flower was she?
"Magnolia…" he whispered hazily under his breath.
Beautiful and pure. No matter how cruel and dark Levi knew the world was, her innocence and beauty would always be a vivid bright light in his eyes.
To him, Ida was pure and beautiful. Nothing more, nothing less.
o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o
"What are you doing?"
At the sound of Levi's voice in the living room, Ida stilled her movements.
"Oh, morning," she greeted, surprised. She proceeded to wipe the upper shelves, balancing herself on the stool. Without even throwing another glance at him, she dipped her rag into the pot of soapy water on the shelf and ringed out the excess water.
"Oi..." Levi's voice was slightly aghast when he realized what she was doing. "You're… cleaning?"
"Yeah?"
His brows furrowed together. "I didn't ask you to clean, did I?"
She bit her bottom lip. "No…?"
"What the hell…" Levi shook his head in disbelief at the rare sight. "If you're expecting a pat on the back, don't wait up."
Who could have ever imagined; Ida Starke cleaning on her own. A rarity. Levi didn't for once think that dirty savage who lived in a pigsty would've ever cleaned on her own if he didn't command her to. Ida hated cleaning with a passion, 'too much effort' she would say.
Furthermore, she was awake. Early. Earlier than him for once and Levi was known to wake up the earliest among all the scouts. Ida on the other hand, had a reputation for her tardiness and avoidance of responsibility, usually preferring to laze in a corner by herself with her bag of sweets or train alone.
So what had gotten into the redhead this morning?
From where she was, Ida could hear the clinking of dishes and she could smell the scent of tea. Levi was making his morning tea. She abandoned the wiping the shelves for the favor of squeezing her fist.
The silence that had settled between them was uncomfortable to her. Ida didn't know how to strike up a conversation — without using a terrible ice-breaker, at least — and Levi seemed as though he was perfectly content with the quiet.
Gods. Ida really didn't know what was wrong with her… Why did she wake up this morning was the sudden urge to clean? Was it because she was hanging with the disagreeable clean freak a little too much lately? Or maybe… was it because she wanted to please him for once…? Maybe.
She didn't know.
Ida wasn't particularly good at cleaning, she wasn't too thorough in her work and neither did she enjoy having her fingers wrinkle up like a prune from all the cleaning products.
Plus, she was clumsy… and clumsy was the last word that you want to be around Levi.
With a loud exhale, Ida decided that she would sweep the floors instead. Her arms were getting sore from being outstretched for so long. She hopped off her stool and took the broom by the wall and proceeded to sweep.
Levi was never a talkative person, and neither was she. There was a mutual understanding between them that silence was peaceful, and it was never awkward. But recently, Ida couldn't help but notice how the once comfortable silence had become unbearable for her. She wanted to talk to him.
Ida bristled when she felt his gaze scrutinizing her with every move she made. She knew what he was waiting for. Levi was waiting for her to screw something up or to make a blunder and for today, he was observing for any signs of her being unwell too.
Not that she could fault for him for it. Ida figured she had a few loose screws this morning as well. Never in her life could she ever expect herself to clean without Levi's orders.
"Let me do it, you're missing a lot of spots." Levi's stern voice came from behind her, startling her.
She maneuvered her prized broom away from his grasp. "It's fine. I can do it myself."
"Your shitty cleaning is a pain to watch." he insisted, deadpanning. "Hand it over."
"Just point out which spot I miss and I'll do it over again!" Ida continued to stand her ground. She woke up early to clean this morning, couldn't he appreciate that for once without trying to climb down her throat?
Huffing, she pivoted around in a show of defiance. "I can do my work perfectly fine, just watch and see—"
CLANG!
Shit.
Ida slowly turned her sheepish gaze towards Levi, who was now mumbling a string of colorful curses that went along the line of 'this damn brat just can't do anything right even if her shitty life depends on it' all a while rubbing his face in livid exasperation.
"...Sorry." Ida apologized sheepishly, holding out her broom as a form of protection.
When she had turned around — being the clumsy fool that she was — she had accidentally hit a vase by the corner with her broomstick. Of course, it just had to be the damn vase that Levi had admired when they first came to the cabin stating that it was a 'one-of-a-kind' antique vase that came from beyond the Walls.
Damn her shit luck.
She watched as Levi's expression went into a vicious debate, flickering from tighten-lips and clenched fists and to a frightening formidable scowl. Levi was trying to control himself, but the obsessive clean-freak inside of him just wouldn't pipe down because of the mess that she created.
Tolerate that trouble-making brat, Levi told himself bitterly, it isn't the first time she made a clumsy blunder.
Finally, his face settled into an extremely unamused expression and Ida instantly bolted to the shelves for a dustpan upon seeing it, flustered. "I'll clean that up immediately!"
SPLASH!
One year…
He had tolerated the red-haired brat for more than a year already. What is just another morning to him? With that small consolation in mind, Levi exhaled a long bated breath. His disapproving glare went back and forth to the broken pieces of the vase, the puddle of water on the floor and back to the drenched redhead who was paralyzed in shock.
But this was really testing his patience… Just who on earth was this clumsy?!
Flustered and wanting to put things back in order before Levi blew his top off at the mess she made with the vase. Ida knocked over the stool that she didn't put away when she was cleaning the upper shelves just now. That started a domino reaction when the stool hit the shelf in a loud impact, causing the pot of dirty soapy water that she had placed on top to fall right smack onto her head, drenching her completely.
Really, just damn her shit luck.
With the pot still on her head, Ida slowly turned around, pushing the pot up sheepishly so she could see. Levi was pinching onto his nose bridge, no doubt exasperated beyond means with her. She let out an awkward chuckle, silently cursing herself for being a clumsy fool.
"…Maybe, I'll stick to avoiding cleaning duties all together…" Ida voiced meekly. She could tell he was trying very, very hard to remain composed. "D — Do you want to clean up this mess before I make any more?"
"Fucking hell…" Levi grounded his teeth, staring at her pathetic drenched form with the ridiculous pot on her head. "Fine, I'll start with cleaning the filthiest shit within my sight."
"W — What?! WAIT!"
She was genuinely surprised when Levi threw his arm around her neck and placed her in a choke-hold. Unsympathetically, he dragged her to the door while she protested, kicked and whined like a child.
Levi's thin patience had been put to its limit. He hated filthy messes and he hated clumsy trouble-making brats. So when the two were combined, it was surprising that he had even given her a chance to speak in the first place.
The last that he remembered, Eren accidentally broke his gears a while cleaning them once — the poor lad didn't even get to explain himself before he swiped a hard kick to his face.
But unlike Eren, he should've known that Ida wasn't one to stand down and receive punishment from her superior.
"Let me go!" she screamed lividly, struggling to get out of his hold, but he was simply too strong.
"Shut up and quit complaining," he growled. "What the fuck?! Did you just bite me?!"
She tore her mouth from his arm. "Yeah, I did! Let me go— AH!"
Armin and Jean had just come out of their room for breakfast when Levi and Ida passed by them.
"Good morning, Captain— Eh?"
Unfortunately for Ida, her defiance only served to tighten Levi's grip on her. "Release me before I slice you in half, you damn bastard!" she yelled indignantly when she got dragged violently into Levi's room. "What do you think you're doing?!"
Jean waved awkwardly to his two superiors before he turned to Armin. "I gotta admit. She's persistent in making his life a living hell. There's a whole lot of perseverance there."
"I would've just given up by now." Armin smiled nervously, agreeing. "Who knows what she had done this time?"
Jean was thunderstruck when he saw the mess in the living room. "Holy, what happened here?"
"I don't even want to know..." Armin replied, glancing back at Levi's room just as the door slammed shut, closing off the screams of protest from Ida.
Ida grunted in pain when Levi pushed her onto a stool in the bathroom. "Ow! What gives—"
She didn't even have time to finish her sentence when Levi pushed her head forward and emptied a pail of cold water onto her head. She stood paralyzed and mute from shock at the sudden contact of the cold water. Her head was stuck forward and her wide-eyed gaze was pinned to the ground. She could hear Levi moving throughout the bathroom.
What was he trying to do?
Then, she felt hands raking through her thick wet hair. Ida felt something on her hair and on cue, a soapy pile of white foam dropped to the ground.
Wait, was Levi washing her hair for her?!
"What are you—"
She tried to look up, but Levi roughly pushed her head down once again. "Shut up and stay still. I said I'd start cleaning the filthiest shit within my sight."
Immediately, her mind started to think of suitable protests — something along the lines of "Let me do it myself!". But she quickly reminded herself that this was Levi she was dealing with, the most stubborn, bull-headed and violent man in all of the Survey Corps. She knew from experience that going against his wishes was the same as asking for death.
Additionally, Levi was definitely pissed off right now, and so she submissively just allowed him to shampoo her hair for her. Her cheeks felt hot and the burn escalated all the way up to her ears. She was glad that Levi couldn't see her face right now, he would have laughed at how red she was and Ida wasn't going to allow him to find amusement in her horrified embarrassed state.
"Move your hand away," she heard Levi's even voice.
"Huh—"
"Your bandaged hand," he clarified.
She moved her bandaged hand to her side immediately. As if it wasn't possible, her face flushed even redder. Was he washing her hair for her because of her injured hand? Certainly, the doctor had warned her against getting the thick bandage in contact with water. It was the reason why she was taking such long showers. Perhaps he had noticed?
Truthfully, since the incident yesterday Levi had been borderline sweet in his attention to her recovering arm. Ida wasn't sure about it then, but now that she thought about it Levi did offer to take those heavy boxes from her that she was moving and he didn't particularly assign her any new cleaning task, which was odd seeing as how stringent he was in enforcing cleanliness in his squad.
Perhaps he was still feeling guilty for what happened yesterday morning?
She snapped out of her stupor when he suddenly talked.
"Bloody hell, why is your hair so long? Doesn't it disrupt your line of vision when you're fighting?" she heard him grumble as he worked a thick lather into her hair.
"…I braid it to the side all the time…" she murmured in a meek voice. "My hair was longer before I cut it short, now it's only chest length. Plus, I'm a girl, I want to look pretty too."
She heard him scoff. "You look perfectly fine even if it's short."
Neither of them spoke after that.
The embarrassing hair wash hadn't taken all that long, probably somewhere between five minutes. But it had felt like an eternity to Ida. One, because it was Levi washing her hair for her, two, because Levi had remained silent throughout the whole session, and thirdly, because of the weird effect that he had on her…
Her heartbeat was escalating with every second.
If she were being completely honest with herself, Ida felt a little bit odd. Okay, screw that, she felt very odd. Especially since this seemed more like a service than a punishment. Having someone scrub through your hair was a relaxing experience, but she just didn't expect Levi to do this, ever.
For the past week, Ida had been contemplating on their weird relationship. Levi had always seemed to be so much more lenient to her compared to everyone else and to be truthful, it bordered towards favoritism — and this was another thing Ida found to be a bit strange.
Though the one thing that she felt the oddest about was her sudden tendency to be drawn to him. It was aggravating beyond means! Levi just seemed to have a magnetic effect on her whenever she was close to him, and she felt this strange fuzzy feeling bubbling in her stomach accompanied with an escalated heartbeat whenever they'd talk.
Shit, was this because of that dumb kiss again?
Her hair wash had been completed in silence — much to her relief — and she felt a soft towel plop onto her head. Ida willed her blush to fade and straightened her posture, rubbing her hair with the towel. Slowly, she made eye contact with him.
"…Thank you…" she managed to murmur out weakly when she realized that Levi was crouching down in front of her, his roguishly handsome face close up to hers.
She blinked and after a few beats of tensed silence, she found herself moving her face towards him and she gasped when she realized what she was doing and violently pulled away.
Get a hold of yourself, woman!
"Y — You have a bubble on your face..." she lied, looking away.
Levi said nothing. Scanning her face, he noticed that the longer he looked at her, the redder her face got. Well, this was an interesting trait. The stained blush on her cheeks looked pretty attractive.
Wait. Levi mentally paused his train of thoughts, aghast that he was actually thinking that.
He cleared his throat and wiped his cheek, keeping his expression apathetic. "Tch. I'm going to clean up the shit you made. Go and take a shower," he commanded in a rigid tone and stood up.
A loud surprised gasp escaped her lips when he stood up.
Why? Why were the gods doing this to her?
Immediately, her hands covered her eyes in embarrassment.
"What?" Levi demanded.
"Your… shirt is wet…" she pointed out sheepishly.
Was it wrong that she found her disagreeable superior extremely sexy with a white soaked shirt? Yes. Hell yes! This was Levi she was talking about!
"G — Go and wash up!" Ida said a bit too loudly, flustered at the sight. Levi didn't need to look at her expression in order to feel the awkwardness in the air — it was practically palpable.
And if Levi was being honest, he liked how flustered she looked.
"Tch, I didn't take you to be a blushing schoolgirl," he said, not seeming to give a damn.
Ida peeked out from behind her hand at that remark.
Noticing that she was gaping at him, Levi smirked. "What? You want me to join you now?" he deadpanned, cocking a brow.
At this, Ida finally reacted with a squeak and hid her face in her towel.
"NO!" her screams were muffled. "GET THE HELL OUT!"
Levi made an irritated sound, scowling at her boisterous tone. "Whatever, clean up after you're done," he reminded her flatly, stalking out of the room and leaving her alone in the bathroom with her red face still pressed in the towel.
…Why?
Why the hell did a part of her want to say 'yes' to him?
The questions began bubbling up her throat, dancing on her tongue and Ida wanted nothing more for these provocative thoughts to get out of her mind.
Warts, dog poop, Jean's nasty boxers that he leaves lying around… she chanted in her head, desperate to stop thinking about Levi.
Ida was almost at peace when Levi popped his head back in the door. "Oi, I forget to inform you that—"
She threw her wet towel to his face instantly. "Get out!"
This time Levi only glared at her for a few seconds and slammed the door. Ida let out a groan of frustration as she ran her fingers through her wet hair.
This was so wrong. She shouldn't be attracted to him. It had been days since that stupid kiss! She should've gotten over it by now! Things should've been back to normal!
She needed to get a damn grip on herself and she needed to do it fast.
Because forget the great mighty cause of eradicating Titans. At this rate, Levi was going to be the death of her before she could even embark on another expedition.
o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o
"Where are you going?"
Ida raised a curious brow when she saw Levi in his black suit, all handsome and proper. Usually, he would be dressed casually in a simple shirt and trousers but it looked like he had something to attend to today.
Levi sauntered towards the front door. "Erwin's awake. I'm going back to the Royal Capital to give my report and have a meeting with him to discuss future plans. Four eyes and that bald brat should be done with their investigation as well."
He paused for a moment and looked at her as if to register her expression. Ida knew what he was concerned about. "It's fine. You go on ahead. If we leave these brats alone, who knows what trouble they might get into."
Sadly, Ida had not seen Erwin since she had last left his room, and as much as she wanted to visit him someone needed to guard Eren and Historia. In addition, Hanji had said that it was best she went into hiding as a precaution as well. She knew that Levi, being the higher ranking officer and the more experienced soldier between them would be the better choice when it comes to planning important matters regarding Humanity.
This was her responsibility and Ida understood that she needed to put aside her personal feelings. After all, she was determined to be a better soldier compared to the spoilt brat that she used to be. These were peril times and seeing how Titans had just recently appeared in Wall Rose, they needed to be more on guard and prepared.
Furthermore, it wasn't as if she hadn't learned her lesson. What if something were to happen while she was gone? It wasn't as if Ida didn't trust her new squad, but they were still amateurs. But skills for that matter didn't stop her previous more experienced squad from dying, did it?
No, she wouldn't make the same mistakes again. Even though a small nagging part of her mind was telling her that the mortality rate for Survey Corps scouts was high, she was going to do her damnedest to protect them, to befriend them, to love them, and even see them as family.
She was going to treasure every moment with them.
Ida pursed her lips when she saw the dubious look on Levi's face. "I'm serious, just go," she reaffirmed.
Levi inhaled deeply, his eyes narrowing down slightly before he relaxed. "Fine, I leave things to you regarding the squad. Do as you deem fit and don't fuck up."
"Yeah, yeah." Ida rolled her eyes when Levi opened the door and left.
Levi was surprised at her sudden change in behavior. He had half expected her to complain and demand to go as well, he knew well how much she longed to see Erwin. He was certainly pleased with her development; he always knew she was strong. But he made it a point to not show any signs complimenting her yet — that redhead brat would be shoving it in his face and prancing around arrogantly if he did.
Mounting his black stallion, Levi was just about to leave when Ida came running towards the stables.
"Hey! Don't leave yet, you idiot!" she exclaimed.
Reaching him, she shoved something towards his direction.
Levi looked conspicuously at the brown bag she was proferring towards him. "What's that?"
"Food that I packed," Ida shook it in a gesture for him to take it. "It's for Erwin, give it to him for me."
"Tch, fine," Levi grunted, taking the brown bag.
"…I packed your share as well." Ida murmured, averting her eyes away and fiddled with her fingers. "Just in case you got hungry on the road or something…"
Levi's lips almost twitched up into a smile, almost, luckily he managed to cover it up with a scowl. "Is this a stupid attempt to poison me with your shitty cooking skills?"
She glared daggers at him, fuming silently at how ungrateful he was. Here she thought she was going to be nice to him for once, seeing how he got her adorable bracelet after all. Screw that. Ida regretted not putting laxatives in the food — it would have been hilarious to see him shitting in his pants on route to the Royal capital.
Maybe she would do it tonight or something when he came back.
"I'll be back by late afternoon if something doesn't fuck up." He took the reins in his grasp firmly. Levi considered the unhappy female beside his horse for a while before saying, "Anything you want to say to Erwin?"
Ida thought about it for a moment. "Tell him that he's a shitty commander," she said flatly and crossed her arms. "And that if he ever dies on me, I'll dig him up from his grave and kill him all over again."
"Tch." Levi snorted at her stupid message. "You're in charge of the brats while I'm away, keep a tight leash on them."
She grunted at that sour thought. "I know. I'd keep them safe."
Ida watched as Levi sped off into the forest. "Come back safely!" she screamed, waving.
He was already far away at the horizon when she retracted her hand back and whispered again.
"And thank you for trusting me again."
o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o
"C'mon Sasha, you take this," Jean passed a box to her. "Load it onto the wagon. We need to go back to the hideout quickly. Ida-san was not supposed to leave the hideout but she had to because of you! What if someone nabs her?!"
"I doubt anyone would be capable of nabbing her though…" Armin pointed out wearily.
"Ugh!" Sasha grunted when Jean passed her the heavy box. "What's this? It's so heavy!"
"They're filled with potatoes, aren't they a good friend of yours?" Jean jested, snickering silently at her embarrassed blush.
"Y — You…" Sasha stammered in embarrassment. "What are you talking about? I'd forgotten all about that!"
She tried to feign ignorance, hoping that Jean would just drop the embarrassing subject. It wasn't her fault that she ate the warm delicious potato during the drill! She was hungry! Plus she generously offered Commander Keith Shadis half of it!
Jean snorted, not buying her lie. "Nobody in our class could ever possibly forget that incident. Rumors have it that Commander Shadis had developed a deep hatred for potatoes after facing your stupidity."
Armin laughed lightly at their conversation, grabbing onto the large tin bottle of milk. "There really is inflation all over huh… If we lost this provision, we'd probably starve to death."
At this point, Armin was grateful that at least they could still afford the provisions. He could still remember how Ida practically brought the old house roof down with her scream of horror this morning when she saw that the pantry — previously stocked with the provisions that Hanji brought — had disappeared overnight. It didn't take long for her to discern that it was a certain brunette's doing and immediately dragged them out on an errand to a nearby village for a restock.
"That's right Sasha, just try and steal some again! It's your fault we had to travel for so long!" Jean sneered at the bitter female beside him. "I'm sure that Captain would slice you into bite-sized pieces if that happened again!"
Sasha rolled her eyes. "Ugh, I won't."
"You better not," Ida came up from behind them, sporting a casual dress with a hooded cloak. She hurled a death glare towards her. "I really will kill you if you do that again."
Sasha gulped dryly at her threat as Ida plopped a sack of vegetables on the ground. "Quickly load it back up. I'll go get some tea leaves before we leave."
"Yes, ma'am."
By the time Ida was back from the village shop with her tea leaves, the small squad had already loaded the provisions in the wagon. Knowing that it was best to remain inconspicuous, they quickly started the travel back to the hideout.
"Ida-san you have never attended training camp, right?" Sasha inquired to make small conversation, finding the awkward atmosphere stifling.
Usually, if it was just her classmates they would be engaged in small conversation while they traveled, but because of Ida's presence, the boys were uncharacteristically quieter and this silence unnerved her.
"No," she replied flatly, not even looking at her direction. "And stop trying to distract me, Sasha. I already saw that bread you put in your pocket."
Sasha balked, red-faced at getting caught. "E — Eh!"
"Potato girl!" Jean screeched from the driver seat of the wagon. "I thought you said you won't steal anymore!"
Ida exhaled a long breath. Taking care of kids was eating more energy than expected. "Did you have a hard time finding food when you were younger?"
"H — Huh?" Sasha squeaked, stunned. She hadn't mentioned her past to her.
"I've seen kids like you," Ida explained flatly. "Eating probably provides you with considerable gratification and relief, it must be hard struggling to find food when you were younger huh?"
"My village was a hunting village…" Sasha admitted in a small voice. "… ever since Wall Maria fell, all the refugees started hunting all the game in our forest so…"
"You didn't get much to eat when you were younger?" Armin inquired, surprised.
Sasha shook her head, embarrassed.
Ida's lips tightened into a thin line. "As long as you're in my squad, I'll ensure you have enough to eat. So stop stealing food, especially at a time like this. If the Titans don't kill us all. I'm sure starvation would, I've never seen anyone eat so much in my life. So I mean it, Sasha, I'll only overlook this once, don't do that again."
The brunette nodded numbly at her lecture. Armin listened with wide eyes, surprised at Ida's uncharacteristic leniency. It was almost as if she was emphasizing with Sasha's situation? Now that he thought about it, Ida was a noble wasn't she? Her childhood was probably sheltered. But he couldn't help but notice the darkness in her eyes that was probably a result of her life in the Underground City.
"How do you guys feel about being in Levi's squad?" Ida inquired, staring listlessly at her surroundings. When she felt the questioning stares on her, she clarified herself. "Most of the battle-tested veterans are gone, so we have no choice but to rely on kids. It must be hard on you guys too — suddenly being asked to do such an important task like protecting Eren and Historia…"
A grimace touched her lips and she added "...and me..."
Armin could understand her reaction, it was weird to even think of new recruits like them protecting someone like her.
"Well…" Armin replied softly. "To be honest, I don't know if I'm up to it."
Ida felt her lips twitch upwards at his honesty. "I don't know if I'm up to it as well."
"Huh?" Jean gaped at her. What was Ida talking about? She was the second strongest, one of the leading soldiers in the legion. She was more than capable of accomplishing that task!
"I have a rather… failed history of protecting people… So I don't know if I have the capability to, but I'll try my best to," she said with vacant eyes. "That is why, no matter what happens, I want you guys to prioritize your safety. Don't do anything dumb. I don't want any of you kids to die, is that clear?"
Sasha grinned. "Yes, ma'am!"
Armin smiled as well, realizing that while Ida might be unnerving to be around, she genuinely cares for her subordinates. "We will!"
Ida nodded her head numbly at their enthusiasm before she turned to Jean who was driving the wagon. "Oi horse-face, hurry up, we need to be back soon."
"Gah!" Jean bristled at that nickname. "Ida-san how did you know about that?!"
Ida scoffed softly. "Eren told me."
Jean flushed beet red as he groused to himself. "That damned suicidal bastard…"
By the time the small squad had arrived back at the hideout, it was late in the afternoon. After barking out some orders to the recruits, she left them to unload the provisions in the kitchen.
"Ida-san!" Eren ran to her with his cleaning outfit when he saw her appear at the door. "You're back!"
"Yeah," she said flatly. Ida cleaned off her shoes before she stepped into the cabin. "Are you done with your chores? I'll help."
"Okay! Thanks!"
She grabbed onto her pink apron before she started helping Eren sweep the living room. Because of the repetitive nature of the activity, Ida found herself reliving what occurred earlier. Something had to be wrong with her, she even packed food for Levi. She was never this considerate in the past, especially not when it came to him.
Maybe she really did have feelings for him... but even if she did, what was she to do about it?
It wasn't until she heard a loud bickering session going on with the kids in the kitchen did she snap out of her meditation. Curious, she quickly went into the kitchen.
"Why didn't you clean off your shoes properly before coming in?!"
"We have our hands full! Who cares about that?!"
"You still don't understand, do you think this nonsense will satisfy Captain?! If I hadn't made your bed for this morning—"
"Shut up! Are you my mother now?!"
"Hey!" Ida interrupted them. Stabbing her broom on the ground, she glared at Jean and Eren who froze at the sound of her cold voice. "I thought I told you kids not to argue—"
She gasped midway when she caught sight of the mess that the recruit had made and started waving her broom in the air furiously. "You damned brats! I just cleaned this damn place up this morning!"
"Eh?" Armin cocked his head to the side, slightly confused. Ida was the last person that he had expected to be so fussy about the cleanliness. It was obvious to everyone that she detested cleaning.
Ida seethed when she glared at the stains on the floor. "Titans be damned, Levi is going to have a bitch fit when he comes back..." she sighed exasperatedly, rubbing her face with her hands. "Shit."
She hissed out in annoyance when she saw the mud stains and the scout's messy packing. Picking up a large wooden spoon, she observed how dirty it still was from last night cooking. If that wasn't possible, Ida's formidable piercing glare intensified.
Any other day, her squadmates would have laughed at the sight of their superior parading around in a pink flower apron all while holding onto a large wooden stirring spoon, but not today, that glare of hers was enough to send them running out the door.
"For heaven's sake, brats causing unnecessary trouble all the time…" Ida sighed to herself when she saw how terrified the squad looked. "Eren."
The Titan Shifter bristled at her chilling voice. "Yes?"
"Clean this place up," she ordered rather venomously, flicking a lock of crimson-colored hair over her shoulder and re-crossed her arms.
"What? But I wasn't the one who made this mess!" Eren whined.
Ida's face grew red from anger. "How is this not your fault?! You've been under Levi's squad the longest!" she shouted at him accusingly, pointing a finger at the obscene mud stains on the wooden floor. "You should've guided them!"
She took a deep and much-needed breath as she attempted to calm herself. Her squad mates shrank back in fear, knowing that Ida was only getting started.
But instead of launching into a reprimand, Ida merely rubbed her temples, her bracelet's charms clinking together with every movement. "...Urgh… Nevermind, just please clean this filthy mess before Levi gets back and I don't want to hear you guys arguing while you're at it."
They knew her order was absolute.
"Yes, ma'am!" Jean and Eren saluted her, their spine stiff.
"Seriously… You guys don't even know who gets the shit every time you screw up, it's me!" Ida ranted almost exasperatedly. "I would've to go through the entire ordeal of hearing him rant about the damn mess you guys make and that damned midget would insult me for not doing my job right! Plus, this wouldn't make that asshole happy. So, I don't care how you do it. Clean this place, now, pronto."
"Eh?" Eren piped out instinctively.
She frowned. "What is it, Eren?"
"It's nothing!"
"Spill."
Eren cleared his throat, meekly looking away. "I was just wondering…" he stiffened when he felt her glare and sped through his words. "S — Since when do you care about what Captain thinks?"
From what he had seen, Ida was never one to bother about what Levi thought about her — so it was a plausible question. Eren was aware of how she was always flat out disobedient.
For the first time in his life, Eren watched as Ida slowly froze, her expression unreadable but still stunned at the same time. She didn't answer him for the longest time, and he didn't know if it was out of shock, or if it was because she simply refused. Either seemed plausible. But then, she locked gazes with him, her green eyes seemed so lost, so confused that it actually threw him for a loop, figuratively.
Ida was never baffled or confused by anything, it just didn't happen. But it did happen.
"B — Because!" she stumbled through her words, clearly flustered by the question. "I… I'm just trying to do my job right!"
With that outburst, she stormed her way out of the kitchen with heavy feet, clearly hating herself for replying with such a stupid and futile explanation.
"So…" Jean echoed, clearly amused to see the stern-faced Ida so flustered and thrown off guard for once. "...she's even playing housewife now?"
o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o
When Levi Ackerman decided on hiding Eren and Historia, he had more ideas in his mind than the ones he had been able to turn into plans. But things were not turning out as he had expected — in fact, it was getting more complicated day by day.
For one, he could've never predicted Pastor Nick's untimely death at the hands of Military Police. Hanji was careless, but frankly, he hadn't seen that coming as well. Using the Military Police to kill him was a smart act to silence him and Levi knew that it only meant the enemy was getting more desperate day by day.
As if things couldn't get shitter enough, the Survey Corps didn't know just who exactly their enemy was yet. Someone with ties to the government surely, but who?
Not only do they have enemies outside the Walls, but within the Walls too.
The only thing that Levi could discern was that someone was desperately trying to get Eren under their control ever since his incredible power to control the Titans had been brought to light.
If he went by Hanji's theories — that Pastor Nick was indeed tortured — just how much information did he reveal? Even if it was highly unlikely seeing that Pastor Nick was a tight-lipped man, Levi knew he could spare no chances. He had to consider that the enemy found out that the Survey Corps knew the link between the Wall Church and the Reiss and Starke family.
The Survey Corps' main objective had never changed. They needed to plug up the hole in Wall Maria as soon as possible, but there's just too many hindrances, too many obstacles.
With the recent turmoil of Wall Rose, the pressure had come to light. The exorbitant prices of provisions, the riots, and fights, time was of the essence. Levi knew they needed to plug Wall Maria and gain more knowledge about the Wall Titans as soon as possible in order to retain public peace.
After much discussion about what their next move should be, Erwin had decided to commence experiments with Eren's Titan Form, hoping that he also possesses the ability of hardening.
But then again with danger lurking at every corner, Levi was unsettled. How long will it be until the government decides to act and subdue the Survey Corps? The legion official activities were already placed on hold, it was the first step to disbanding.
Levi stopped midway of his depressing thoughts to glare at the broom by the corner. Eren had forgotten to put the broom back into the storage room again and he couldn't wait to discipline the boy about putting things back in place. He was just too careless for his own good.
But he had other plans for now.
He stormed around in the cabin, searching for her. After the meeting with the squad and Hanji, Ida had left the room without a word and he supposed it worried him a little.
With increasing frustration and annoyance, Levi headed to the kitchen where the scouts were busy preparing the dinner.
"Frankly, I feel like I didn't understand even half that talk..."
"The only way can only make ourselves useful is by conducting the experiments in the meantime," Eren mumbled as he peeled the potatoes next to Connie. "Also, it is basically about a story on how to get rid of the people hindering us. For the details… Well… Just ask Armin to explain it to you later."
"I see…" Connie said, gritting his teeth in disdain. "I just want another shot at the Beast Titan. Ymir said that 'monkey' caused the transformation of the people in my village into Titans right?"
"Yeah, she did."
The rage in his eyes grew darker at that confirmation. "That Ymir, she continued laughing even though she knew all this stuff. She really was awful…"
"You're wrong." Historia suddenly bit back harshly. "Back then, she thought you'd be hurt if you were to know the truth about your village. That's why she frantically deceived you."
Connie turned back to address Historia with a cover of disdain. "What? There's no way she did that."
"I believe she did," she replied back unyieldingly.
"Oi." Levi interrupted their conversation, knocking at the wooden door for attention. "Where's Ida?"
"She's not here if you can't tell," Mikasa informed him in a stiff monotone.
Levi exhaled loudly. "Blouse, if you keep eating all the damned food. I'll skin you and cook you in the stew as a replacement," he warned precariously, turning his back towards the recruits. He didn't even need to look to know that Sasha was busy munching away while she helped out with preparations.
"E — Eh?!"
His scowl deepened. He clicked his tongue in pure annoyance when he left the kitchen. Just where was that damned troublemaking brat now? Levi pondered over it for a moment, the cabin wasn't very big, and she wasn't in any of the rooms. It didn't take long for him to discern where she was though, he knew her well enough.
It amused him to see hints of her reddish hair gleaming under the moonlight. Ida sat on the rooftop in silence with her legs huddled to her chest, smoking a cigarette. For a while, she looked like a brooding little child who had unwillingly turned into a soldier.
She met her eyes with his when she saw him on the roof and her dejected expression dissipated immediately and a stiff stoic look took its place. Ida averted her eyes away, but she didn't say a word. Levi exhaled loudly when she saw that change in her expression. He could smell the pungent scent of cigarettes mixing with the crisp forest scent in the air.
Wordlessly, he sat down next to her, leaving a space between them.
She took a long drag on her cigarette; the orange tip glowed in the darkness and she blew the smoke in a straight line. Ida never smoked, but for now, she needed the nicotine to burn her lungs and char them jet-black.
For a few minutes, they both sat in companionable silence for a while, neither of them saying a word.
"Want some?" she suddenly offered in a quiet voice, moving the half-burnt stick towards him. "The kids aren't around, so it's okay if we elders fool around."
"Where did you get that?" Levi inquired, taking up the offer. The wind soon picked up, and a cool gentle breeze engulfed them. He took a long steady drag, breathing out a thick smoke of nicotine.
Ida shrugged, hugging her legs closer towards her chest. "Had a packet or two stuffed at the back of my bag for times like this, no big deal."
"Mhm..." Levi murmured, flicking the ashes on the roof. It had been so long since he last touched a cigarette. The last he remembered was when he was a rebellious teen back at the Underground City. He took another long drag before passing it towards her.
Letting out a loud content sign as the winds gently picked up the strands of her scarlet hair, the cool breeze instantly relaxed her. She closed her eyes, exhaling another ring of smoke. "So… did you reprimand the kids for their half-assed cleaning today?"
"Tch." He scoffed. "I understood that they postponed their cleaning to have fun."
"…Guess so," she replied, smiling a little. "Thanks for informing me about Erwin's condition, he must have it pretty hard huh? Losing an arm and stuff, and then waking up to such shitty news. He's probably shitting himself right now and pulling out all his damn eyebrows from the stress."
"Stop it." Levi suddenly chided harshly and her eyes widened at his words. He grimaced, averting his eyes away to the forest around them. "Don't act like someone who doesn't have emotions out of a sudden, it's irritating as hell. You can't deceive me. Your acting skills are shitty."
Moving her gaze to her feet with hooded eyes, she took another drag of her cigarette, tucking her hair behind her ears. "Yeah, you're right… Sorry. I've trouble acting normal. I'm… just trying to get used to everything…"
When Levi didn't say anything, she continued. "Who do you think is our enemy?"
"Someone higher up," he answered flatly. "Probably a fat pig, or even the king himself."
"Humans," she pointed out in a frayed voice. "Meaning our enemies are humans this time right?"
He bristled inwardly, knowing that it was a sensitive subject to her. But the last thing Ida needed was lies. "Yeah."
She nodded her head numbly as the nicotine entered her lungs, calming her down. "...Hanji confirmed it too. Titans being originally humans… So, all this time… I've been flying around like an idiot and killing humans all along…" Ida broke out in a small sad laugh. "Haha, that's ironic."
Truth to be told, Ida had honestly thought that things were different when she joined the Survey Corps, that she was different. Her dark soul was cleansed. She was doing something righteous and honorable. She would never have to steal another human life. She was a noble defender of humanity, and this was her repentance for her sins.
But with the way things were looking now, Ida knew that sooner or later, she would be confronted with another set of moral dilemmas.
Taking note of the slightly disturbed expression on her companion's face, she handed the packet of cigarettes to Levi along with a lighter, gesturing for him to take one for himself. He was probably wallowing in the same amount of horror as she was.
"There's no solid proof of that yet. It's just one of that lunatic's theories." Clicking the lighter for a light, a small burst of orange flame ignited and Levi stuck the end of his cigarette between his lips. But even as he said that he knew that it was a high possibility that Titans were originally humans.
"You shouldn't think of them of humans," he advised in a deadpan, blowing out a long line of smoke. "They are nothing but a monstrous beast."
"What if they could be changed back?" she pointed out quietly. "Shouldn't we… try to change them back? Don't we owe it to them to at least try…? Connie's mother was changed to a Titan… he probably wants to change her back as well..."
He grimaced. "Ida, we can't afford to think of everyone and every scenario. Nothing will be achieved that way."
Indeed, she shouldn't and a part of her knew that the pragmatic Levi was right. With the way things were looking to now, they had their hands full as it is. And so Ida listened to him in silence, her cigarette still burning at the tip of her fingers.
"Stop thinking of pointless shit like this," Levi drawled with a sharp edge. "It'll only make you more miserable."
She nodded numbly before releasing a sigh. "When I first joined the Survey Corps, I thought I was doing something right for the first time… But I guess I just traded being a heartless mercenary to being an idiot soldier. I thought I had exchanged killing humans in the Underground to slaying Titans outside the walls... I thought I knew the difference between killing humans and Titans, but… I guess I can't tell the difference anymore…"
"One is tiny, weak and clothed while another is large, grotesque and nude." Levi offered sarcastically and Ida couldn't help but chuckle at his words, feeling better.
"Stupid," she nudged him playfully. "If I was changed into a Titan would you kill me?"
"Tch." Levi scowled, obviously irked that she asked such a thing. "I wouldn't let you get yourself in that shitty situation in the first place."
"But would you?"
Levi stared at her briefly before averting his eyes away. Ida's lips twitched at his reaction and she smiled understandingly.
"If you were changed into a Titan..." she murmured quietly "...I'd do anything in my power to change you back, no matter the price."
He was surprised that she so easily came to a decision, and it only reminded him how different they both were, and they still are, because frankly, Levi didn't know what he would do if something like that happened. "You're being irrational."
"Maybe…"
She rested her chin on top of her knees, tilting her head to look at the dark sky. "I just want everyone to feel safe, to not live in fear every day. I want humanity to be free again. I want a world where people can live without fighting each other, just peaceful and tranquil like this…" she paused, taking a deep breath. "...but… sooner or later, we've to face our enemies in the Walls looking to hinder us from that path. In the end, I'd still have to get my hands bloodied sooner or later."
With the aggression she was feeling inside, Ida took the long cigarette hit. It burned up her lungs to the third-degree, forcing her to choke.
"Hey." Levi frowned when she heard her choke, patting her back.
He stiffened when he felt her head suddenly rest on his shoulder, but he eventually relaxed. Ida exhaled loudly, tossing the cigarette away before asking in a soft tone. "...If there is one word to describe us, humans, what would that be?"
"Shitty." Levi spat immediately with a scowl.
"Selfish." Ida corrected him rigidly. "We're selfish and self-centered beings, only caring about what we want. We can never be content with what we have. We want more, that's the reason why we are seeking freedom outside the walls and killing those Titans, isn't it? But did that freedom ever belong to us in the first place? Just because we are blessed with intelligence and because we humans used to be at the top of the food chain, we assume that everything is ours."
Levi considered her reasoning, before scoffing. "Only an idiot will think of stuff like that."
"I guess I'm an idiot then, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm a disgusting selfish human being as well." The words rolled off her tongue almost effortlessly like it was a common thing for her to say. "So... I won't stop at anything until I get what I want. I won't care about who I've to take down until I achieve the world that I want. Humans, Titans — I don't give a shit. As long as it means getting just a step closer to achieving humanity's freedom, I'll gladly unsheathe my blade."
Levi's features were painfully apathetic when he exhaled another puff of smoke.
"It's about time I actually grow up and take responsibility." Ida felt herself rubbing on the bracelet that he gave her as if it was giving her strength to say the words. "…The world is shitty, life is a piece of crap and I'm receiving nothing but shit every day. Wallowing in grief is getting me nowhere."
When Ida accepted the deal — the invitation to join the Survey Corps — she was honestly relieved to find a place where she could at least live without regrets, to dedicate her life to something productive, but now Ida understood that she could never escape her sins regardless of which road she took.
People always die. No matter how hard she tried to rebel against it, people always die.
Violence was the one thing that one can never take from humanity, it was the unavoidable truth of the world.
Humans killing Titans, Titans killing humans, Titans killing Titans and humans killing humans…
She closed her eyes and silently wondered when the vicious cycle would end.
Ida had long ago forgotten those childish dreams about a joyful world and a peaceful life. All her wonderful assumptions about how the world was a beautiful place were thrown out of the window and savagely eaten by a Titan somewhere. Now, her perception of the world was nothing more than tainted thoughts and bloody blades.
Staring at the darkness, she nodded off closer to Levi, breathing in his scent. Her mind began to wander, images of her first meeting with him popping in her mind. A soft warm feeling spread through her chest when she realized she wouldn't know where she would be without him.
He, who had redirected all her talent, rage and fury towards a productive cause.
As hopeless as the fight might seem, she was still given a purpose in her dull life. Given the strength to dream again. Her contained rage stemming from survivor's guilt that she felt when her home was obliterated, compounded by the regrets she had harbored — she finally had a way to direct it somewhere.
"Tears... stupid emotional things like that. It's nothing more than the defeat of the body by your emotions, it shows how weak you are." Ida murmured very quietly, her head still resting on his shoulder. "Because, for people like us, this damned thing called 'emotions' can become nothing less than proof that our existence is superfluous."
She closed her eyes and just focused on listening to his heartbeat. She was grateful that Levi was simply listening to her. The soothing sound of life pumping through his body calmed her and reassured her. Ida felt his hand move towards the back of her head, pressing her closer towards him.
"Just stop talking," she felt his chest rumble when he spoke. His tone was harmless but flat. "Since when do you talk so much?"
"Yeah…" she agreed wearily, her eyes still shut. "I should shut up…"
Because there were certain things that no words could ever describe, like her relationship with Levi Ackerman and why she felt so safe yet vulnerable beside him.
And so they sat in pure silence, just listening to each other soft breaths and heartbeats, enjoying the warmness that contrasted with the cool wind.
Under the starry sky, Ida counted his breaths, his heartbeats. In anticipation of the bloody war that was to come, she took a moment to enjoy the extraordinary tranquillity.
For only God knows if any of them would make it out alive this time around.
o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o
Royal Capital, Mitras
"Why are you here?" Erwin inquired disapprovingly, acknowledging the young hooded woman leaning against the brick walls. Even after he had left the Royal court, he could still feel the looming pressure on his back, as if someone was constantly watching over him.
The last thing Erwin needed was for her to be here.
Ida raised a brow, the severity of his voice drew her eyes to his. "You look like you don't want to see me, were you expecting someone else?"
"Frankly, I was expecting a loud scientist," Erwin stated tonelessly, holding on to his Survey Corps' jacket as a cool breeze blew through the Royal Capital of Mitras. "You shouldn't be here, does Levi know?"
"I can go wherever I want to." Ida peeled herself off the wall. She knew that she was a potential target because of her relations with the Starke family, but that didn't stop her. "Let's go, Nifa is waiting for us."
"You should get back, it's not safe here." Erwin reminded her sternly, but Ida merely brushed off his concerns with a scowl.
"They aren't stupid enough to kidnap me in daylight and especially not in front of you," Ida retorted in a defensive tone. With a loud exhale, Erwin relented and followed her.
As she walked beside him through the streets, her heart started to get heavier as she silently observed his severed arm. Before the guilt could overwhelm her, she re-prioritized. "Plus, there's no saying they want me yet. Pastor Nick might've been blabbing nonsense."
Erwin's eyebrows crumpled together at her carefree attitude. "You know that there's a high possibility that the Starke family is involved in the Wall Cult, Ida. You're being reckless. Why do you think you went into hiding with Eren and Historia?"
"Yes. But I can take care of my self, I'm not like those two. Anyway, from what I can tell — they want to get their hands on Historia and Eren more than they want to get their hands on me," Ida argued. Judging him his expression, she could probably guess what went on during the Royal Summon. "Correct me if I am wrong."
He felt his lip twitching at her sharpness. "They are asking me to hand over Eren and Historia, but they made no mention of you yet."
Ida did not seem surprised. "Well, we expected it. Krista was the first name he mentioned and not mine. Maybe they don't even want to nab me. Any additional intel other than that?"
Erwin scanned their surroundings, it was already relatively late at night and there weren't many people around. "The Interior Military Police is not directly under the Brigade's command."
"So it wasn't Nile Doks who gave the order to murder Pastor Nick..." she deadpanned with a scoff. "Well, it's not like we never expected that either..."
After a short stroll, they arrived at the carriage waiting for them. Ida knocked on the door softly and Nifa opened. "You're back!" she welcomed. "I was worried."
"Did you really think I would be captured?" she asked sarcastically.
Without another word, Ida climbed into the carriage with Erwin.
Frankly, she hated how she was being baby-sitted. Because Pastor Nick implied a disturbing fact that her family might be linked with the Wall Cult, everyone was constantly fussing over her, afraid that she would be kidnapped.
"If only that damn old man didn't die so quickly," she grumbled softly, crossing her arms as she sank into the cushioned seats.
"How did Hanji's experiment with Eren go?" Erwin asked once the door closed, granting him privacy.
Ida wrinkled her nose, looking at the scenery outside. "He wasn't able to utilize his hardening ability to fill up the big cave standing in for Wall Maria. It's either his Titan form doesn't possess that ability, or he doesn't know how to control it yet. Hanji is back at the base, discussing the plans with Levi."
"I see…" Erwin sighed softly, smoothing the creases on his jacket while he considered their circumstances. "We have to move on with our previous plans then..."
"You mean the Wall Cult?" Nifa inquired, jotting down notes on her notepad.
"Yes." He nodded. "There's no doubt that they seem to know about the origins of the Walls that are made of hardened Titans — they might actually know something regarding how the Walls were actually made."
Ida snorted in disdain, clearly showing her distaste for the Wall Cult. "Those little bastards wouldn't say shit even if we cut off their balls."
"Which is exactly why we can not afford to allow Historia to fall the hands of the enemy," Erwin stated stiffly. "In fact, don't you think it's uncanny why the Reiss family is privy to these secrets instead of the King?"
"I get what you mean..." Ida replied dully, playing with her fingernails. "I was expecting that idiot of a Pastor to mention the King instead of the Reiss Family when he said he would offer a name. It's almost like the Reiss Family is the fucking Royal Family instead of—"
She paused midway in her speech when she caught Erwin's hard gaze, and recognition struck her hard. She knew that look — it was that confident, determined stare that the Commander always had whenever he theorized something.
"You... can't be serious..."
"It's a possibility, Ida," Erwin said smoothly. He turned towards Nifa who was busy jotting down notes by the side. "We have to consider every possibility, we can not allow our enemy to get one step ahead of us."
She took a pensive moment to process his words. "...So, what are you going to do this time?"
Erwin smiled gently. "As usual, a gamble."
"I don't even want to know what you are thinking in that mind of yours, it's creepy." Ida frowned deeply. "But whatever it is you are planning, be careful. You never know what people are capable of beforehand. It's time that set the rules, it holds all the decks of cards in their hands as our gambling partner. One slip-up and you're dead."
"At times like this, everything's a gamble."
Ida smirked at his clever remark. "Of course it is."
"Are you willing to take the gamble, Ida?" Erwin sounded serious and Ida's breath hitched, she did not like the severity of his voice. "Nifa, do not record any of our conversations from now on. Strictly no one must know about this."
"Eh?" Nifa blinked, stunned by his words. But she compiled. "I understand, Commander."
"Just what are you trying to do now, Erwin?" Ida questioned, suspicious.
"I need you to do something. Something that only you can do." When he said this, Erwin took a moment to spare a glance at Nifa, who flinched subtly while she uncomfortably placed away from her notepad.
Erwin's voice was gentle, yet there was an undercurrent in his voice that made Ida nervous.
"Of course, the choice is yours. Are you willing to play the game with me?"
In the anticipatory silence that had flooded the carriage as they waited for her response, Erwin's gaze returned to his left, his blue eyes basking deeply into the redhead. Her bored-liked expression returned before she gave out a disbelief scoff.
"It seems like this time, even I'm not spared from your devious scheming plots. You have another plan, don't you? And let me guess, it requires confidentiality?" Ida questioned, but there wasn't any hint of offense in her tone.
Tilting her head at him, she stared back into the pair of eyes that were attempting to search within the contents of hers.
"Fine, I'd play the game and take the risk with you. So tell me, Erwin, what do I have to do?"
Cliffhanger! The real plot is gonna kick in now as we move to the second arc of this story!