"Now, where were we?" said Gilbert.
He sat in the private clawfoot bathtub for which he paid Le Chateau Frontenac an extra $1.50 per night. An uncorked bottle of current wine stood proudly on the floor next to said bathtub.
"Gil, if your patients only knew how much we both drank during this trip!" Anne said.
Gilbert snorted. "Anne-girl, I have a surprising number of patients who drink this much on the regular. I know other doctors and their wives who drink this much. Like the Parkers. Why do you think that Jen Parker lost track of Walter the night that Rilla was born? You'd be shocked if you knew how many respectable islanders drink like fish. A shocking amount for an island where booze is banned."
Gilbert continued, "And don't get me started on the special license for medicinal use. That whole program is a government money grab."
Anne said, "But that's how you get your own spirits, Gil – "
"Like I said," Gilbert repeated. "It's a money grab."
"Got it, Gil. Here, have another glass."
"Don't mind if I do," said Gilbert. He leaned back in the tub, one hand on the wine glass stem, the other cupping Anne's cream and pink breast.
Anne said, "I'm going to have to get out now. My skin is wrinkling."
Gilbert sighed. "That's right. This is your second bath."
"I'm sorry, Gil. I was already in the tub when you got called away. I didn't know how long you would be. I should have jumped out right away, but I didn't."
Gilbert sighed again.
"Here, Gil, finish your drink. I'll pour you another glass. Open another bottle."
Anne toweled herself dry and poured Gilbert the promised next glass of wine.
"Let's play a game," said Anne. "Truth or dare."
"Really, Anne-girl?" said Gilbert.
"You're not scared to play, are you?" said Anne.
"No," said Gilbert.
"You don't have any secrets from me, do you, Gilbert?" said Anne.
"Of course not," said Gilbert.
"Then what's the problem?" said Anne.
"Nothing. Nothing's the problem," said Gilbert. "Alright. I'm in. One condition. I go first," said Gilbert.
"Deal," said Anne.
Gilbert said, "Okay, here it goes. Remember last spring, when I said that Rilla was growing like a weed, and that you should make her some new dresses? Remember when you said that you couldn't get to it right away? Made her go all summer wearing clothes that were too short for her? What was that all about, Anne-girl?"
Anne said, "Oh, Gil, Susan and I were so busy last spring and summer. All the kids needed something made for them. Or something mended. Jem kept tearing up his clothes from climbing over the fence to the Merediths. I had to patch his jacket three times, Gil. Three times. Walter ripped his pants. I suspect it was on the same fence. Susan spent so much time getting stains out of your clothes, Gil. Do you know how much goes into taking care of a doctor's wardrobe? Your stuff is always such a mess. We just couldn't get to Rilla for a while. Rilla was fine. She had all the twins' old frocks. They were a little short, but Susan took down the hems. We got her some new clothes for winter."
Gilbert said, "Everything was not fine, Anne-girl. Rilla looked like a damned ragamuffin all summer. Folks gossiped about how the doctor's kid looked like a homeless person. Like Mary Vance. They said this stuff while I was in the next room, treating their mee-maw. They wondered who was stiffing me on the bills, that I couldn't afford to clothe my kid."
"Mary Vance looks perfectly neat, Gil," said Anne. "Miss Cornelia keeps on top of that."
"I meant that Rilla looked worse than Mary Vance did when the Merediths found Mary in the graveyard, Anne-girl," said Gilbert.
"Rilla did not look that bad," said Anne.
"Rilla did indeed look that bad, Anne-girl," said Gilbert. "She didn't even have a decent hat. Sometimes, Anne-girl, you treat Rilla like an unwanted cat. An unwanted cat that you tried to chloroform but somehow screwed up the chloroform part. Like a – "
"Like an unwanted pregnancy because the mother and her doctor husband screwed up the counting, Gilbert? Is that what you meant to say?"
"Now, Anne-girl, don't get upset. I was just asking questions."
"The truth is, Gilbert, that I couldn't get the fabric and notions to make Rilla new clothes until fall because we were tight on money until then."
"How in the world were we tight on money, Anne? I had a steady stream of patients all last year. I kept on top of billing them. Most paid their bills on time. What about the cash that I gave you for emergencies?"
Anne said, "I didn't touch the emergency funds. I didn't touch them, Gil. I promise. As for the household funds – I, uh, lent them."
"You what?" said Gilbert.
"I lent the surplus household funds," said Anne. "That's why there was nothing left for clothing for Rilla."
Gilbert said, "You lent the household funds to whom?"
Anne gulped. "Leslie. I lent the household funds to Leslie."
Gilbert jumped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around his generous manhood. Gilbert's firm derriere poked out of said towel.
He said, "Cover yourself, Anne."
"What?"
"Cover yourself, Anne."
Anne donned a robe.
Gilbert said, "There. Can't have us talking about Owen Ford while we're naked, now, can we? Here's what I can't figure out. I can't figure out why you had to loan money to Owen Ford's wife. Why did the author of the Great Canadian Novel need my money?"
Anne said, "Gil, their money's gone. The Captain Jim money. Owen and Leslie spent it all. That's why they sold their house in Toronto and went to Japan for a year. Of course, they spent down Owen's advance on that Japan book rather quickly, also. They're struggling. I lent Leslie a little bit to get them through last summer."
Anne looked at Gilbert. "She paid me back, Gil! Owen got paid for a series that he wrote for the Toronto Star. Leslie paid me back in full. Then I bought what I needed for Rilla's clothes."
Gilbert said, "You should've charged them interest."
Anne said, "Gilbert Blythe!"
Gilbert said, "I jest, Anne-girl. But you need to make this up to Rilla."
Anne said, "What do you propose that I do, Gil?"
Gilbert said, "Buy her a new hat."
Anne sighed. "Rilla does not need any more hats, Gil. Oh, alright. I'll do it. It's my turn. Gilbert Blythe, a very long time ago at Redmond, Claire Hallet told me that there was a good deal more between you and Christine Stuart than I ever knew. What did she mean by that, Gil?"
Gil said, "Really, Anne-girl. Let's not bring up Christine now."
Anne said, "I told you that I lent money to Leslie – "
Gilbert corrected her. "Owen. You lent my money to Owen."
Anne said, "I lent our money to Leslie and Owen. Now it's your turn. Spill it, Blythe."
Gilbert said, "Oh, alright. I'll pay dearly for telling you this, but we're both drunk, aren't we? Christine and Claire and I did some experimenting. At Redmond."
"You did what," said Anne.
"Experimenting, Anne-girl. Christine and Claire and I shared Christine's bed. Christine and Claire and I were intimate with each other. All three of us. We took turns on each other. We – oh, use your imagination, Anne-girl."
Anne said, "But you told me that there was nothing between you and Christine."
Gilbert said, "There was nothing between me and Christine, Anne-girl. Christine and Claire were more into it than I was, Anne-girl. To be honest, I only went along with it because I was trying to get my mind off you. And, to get back at you. Yeah, I know that you didn't owe me anything. I had no right to get back at you for anything. I was so heartsick that you told me that you wouldn't marry me. I couldn't bear to think of you with Roy. Christine was already engaged to Andy Dawson. I knew it and she knew that I knew it. To be honest, Anne-girl, I don't think that Christine ever wanted to marry Dawson. Or any man. Christine had a thing for Claire. She wanted to tour as a musician. She talked all the time about going to Toronto to audition for this group or that group. She asked me if I thought that her brother Ron would agree to take her. Her parents would have none of that. It just wasn't done, not in a family like hers. They wanted her to marry well. And by well, I mean, they wanted her to marry rich. That's why she never would have married me, even if I had asked her to, which I didn't. It was only ever you. So, she married Dawson. Moved out west. Well, as we know, Dawson died years ago. Last I heard, Christine was in a Boston marriage. Some lady that she met in a church choir."
Anne laughed. "Well, good for Christine!"
Gilbert took another sip of his wine. "My turn again. Anne-girl, did Marilla ever say anything about my father?"
Anne said, "Marilla told me that people used to call John Blythe her beau. That he was a real nice boy. That she and him used to be real good friends."
Gilbert said, "Is that all?"
"Gilbert Blythe, I'm drunk, but I'm not that drunk."
Gilbert said, "Spill it, Anne-girl. What else did she say?"
Anne said, "Well, one time when Marilla was sick, I was going through her bureau, getting clothes for her. I found a little toy in Marilla's bureau. It was a little massager. Except, it was one of those massagers used to massage women. You know, like the one that you use on me. Anyway, Marilla had pulled herself up from her sickbed and she was standing behind me. She saw that I saw it. Marilla was all messed up on the medicine that the doctor gave her, and she wasn't speaking like herself. She told me that she called her massager her "little Blythe." She told me, "You have your Blythe, and I have my Blythe." Then she told me that the thing that she missed the most about John Blythe was that he "gave her a good roll."
Gilbert said, "I did not want to know this!"
Anne smacked Gilbert's bare ass. She said, "Then why did you ask?"
Gilbert said, "Let me try this again. Did Marilla ever say anything about my father fathering a child? With the wife of Green Gables' hired man?"
Anne said, "Marilla said that Green Gables had a birth under its roof. The baby's mother was the wife of the hired man. Oh – shit, Gilbert! Your dad was the baby's father?"
Gilbert said, "Yep."
Anne said, "That's what the fight was about, wasn't it? The fight between Marilla and your dad."
Gilbert said, "Yep."
In the distance, Anne heard the faint music of a bagpipe.