WARNING: This chapter has a RATED M scene due to some of the scene's very suggestive themes. It's nothing too, too graphic, but it is not appropriate for very young readers. I've marked it the scene. Feel free to skip it if you wish. For a more thorough explanation of why its rated M, please refer to the FAQ on my profile!
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Humanity's Strongest Woman by xDollfie
Chapter 20 — Final Solace
Decisions.
Some are hard, some are easy, and some can change a life forever. Be it life or death, be it good or bad — decisions are always made. Sometimes it turns out exactly the way it's planned, but sometimes the outcomes just turn out like utter crap and everyone loses everything they've got…
This has got to be one of the hardest decisions in her life.
It's not hard to decide. What's hard is figuring out what to give up in order to save the important things one cared about; what's hard is knowing that things will be sacrificed in order to get the job done, and what's even harder about that is having to decide alone.
It does not take much strength to do something, but it requires a great deal of strength to decide what to do.
Ida Starke turned and gazed her empty eyes on the hallway, looking at the empty and soulless place that seemingly reflected how she was feeling.
Lonely.
She had long forgotten how it was like to feel this way: hollow and empty; not a trace of warmth or light. She realized how blessed she was to have the people that she adored and loved by her side, but she also came to the conclusion that she was stupid. Stupid enough to never treasure these precious moments.
Fear.
It was heavy, it was burdensome, it was painful. But she willed it to fade and locked it up in the depths of her heart. She couldn't make decisions based on fear and the possibility of what might happen.
Thunder rumbled in the distance, vibrating through her thin body from her fingertips that rested on the window sill. The roaring, vicious wind warned her of an impending storm, but she knew that the foreboding weather was nothing compared to the storm raging in her chest.
The room seemed to have grown even darker; the black clouds threateningly pressed against each other, as if fighting to see which one would break first. A loud crack was heard when streaks of lightning flashed and reflected in her solemn green eyes. She could hear the rattling of the branches as the tall trees swayed in the merciless wind.
She found her mind wandering as she stared out of the window to observe the raging weather outside. Torrents of rain and wind thrashed the once serene and bright world outside, showing no mercy to the grand environment around it. Trees were swaying in all directions, threatening to come crashing down while the heavy raindrops collide against its branches.
While she witnessed this chaos wrecking the scenery, Ida found herself drowning in her own world of raining thoughts.
With a loud audible sigh, she peeled her eyes away from the window and walked through the room in silence. Sooner or later, she found herself standing in front of the door to the living room and pushed inside. She trekked further into the darkness.
"Whoa!" Ida jumped, completely startled as she heard something stifling in the darkness. Fumbling around the table blindly for a matchstick, she lit the candle and lifted it up, one hand still on her frightened heart.
She scowled the moment she caught sight of her. "You scared the living crap out of me!"
Mikasa frowned deeply, her gaze empty. "It's not my fault that you didn't see me."
"How can I, when you didn't even light the candle!" Ida retorted back, breathing out hard to calm herself down and settled on the chair opposite of Mikasa. "What's up with you? Can't sleep?"
"You're being particularly noisy tonight," Mikasa commented scathingly, looking away.
"Tch. I don't make that much of a fuss whenever you brats generate some noise." Ida pointed out coldly before her gaze softened, and then, she spoke in a lighter tone. "…Let me guess, you're worried about Eren?"
"That's none of your business." The recruit barked, but that slight hesitation before she spoke told Ida that she was right.
"He's fine," she said after watching Mikasa's expression contorted slightly with concern underneath the shadows. "Probably shitting himself by now, but that Titan twerp is alive."
A couple of beats of tensed silence surrounded the air, and then, "Of course he is..."
"You seem to really care about Eren, huh?" Ida piped out casually, her nails tapping on the wooden table as she slung another hand listlessly over the frame of the chair. "…What's your relationship with him?"
"Why do you care so much?"
"Because Eren would probably be sad to see you like this," Ida stated simply, averting her eyes. "It's hard to be separated from the ones that we care about."
Mikasa's eyes widened slightly at her words and she found her fists curling into two tight balls. "…He's family to me."
"Family, huh?" Ida sighed audibly, her expression apathetic, but the slight twitch of her upper lip told Mikasa that she was thinking about something solemn.
She found her way back to the recruit's form just in time to see her adjusting the red scarf over her nose to cover up her dejected and pained expression. "…Did Eren give that to you as well?"
Mikasa snapped her eyes up, shocked. "How did you—"
"I'm not as dumb as you think of me as, nor as lazy. I'm pretty observant. You never take off that red scarf even during battle. It's sentimental to you." Ida cut through her sentence sharply. She found her long fingers curling around the candy charm bracelet on her left wrist. "…I know how it feels like to value something precious to you. Especially something that is given to you by someone you care about."
Mikasa's voice turned cold and sardonic once again, but she sounded almost appalled. "I didn't know you could be so sentimental."
Ida snorted a little, puckering her lips. "I guess you don't know me that well then." Ida gave her a small, sad smile and it took Mikasa completely by surprise. She didn't even know Ida was capable of smiling. "…I actually admire you, you know."
That revealment caused Mikasa's eyes to widen into saucers. But she listened intently as Ida sighed and continued, "You care about Eren deeply. I can tell. Even back when we were fighting the Female Titan, you even lost your usually calm composure... but as much as you cared about him, when you were told to abandon Eren and Krista in Stohess, you did. You're able to judge a situation and figure it out without letting your feelings sway you. You can put your emotions aside. You're recognized as a first-rate soldier who puts her mission first."
Ida chuckled a little as if mocking herself. "I don't know what kind of a person you think of me as, but even if I'm a veteran soldier, I have trouble with that…so, I respect you for your ability. It's already known that you're a prodigy and you will evolve into a leading soldier with time and experience. I don't care about what your attachment to Eren is, but don't disappoint the legion by screwing up, got it?"
"…I understand… Thank you," Mikasa finally said after a pregnant pause, not knowing what else to say.
Ida smiled quickly before she reverted back to her usual stoic expression. "Go to bed. We have to wake up early tomorrow. You better be well-rested if you want to save that twerp of yours."
o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o
Jean found himself tossing and turning, counting the nicks in the ceiling as he struggled to fall asleep. But he couldn't.
The screams.
The images assaulted him as he laid bundled up in his blankets. Another image flashed through his mind and he clenched his sheets with his fist, which still hosted a slight tremor of horror, as if by doing so would bring comfort and make the jarring images go away.
He remembered how it felt like to pull the trigger; to watch how a single slight movement made his target in the distance crack into a phantom haunting scream, tumbling, falling, groaning on the ground in excruciating pain as the blood flowed out of the new wound on their leg.
He wouldn't have to do that anymore, would he? He wouldn't have to hurt or even kill fellow humans anymore. Erwin Smith succeeded in subduing the government, there was no more oppression to their rebellion. All they needed to do now was to retrieve back Eren and Historia.
But what then…?
Who were their true enemies?
The sounds chanted and the noise of it all was ringing in his ears and he couldn't take it anymore. Sitting up with a start, he looked over and blinked. In front of the window, someone sat there and gazed out of it. His vision slowly focused and he found himself gazing at Armin, curled up in a blanket, sitting in the chair.
"Why the hell aren't you sleeping?" Jean grumbled grouchily. "Go to bed."
Armin twitched at that low grumble, snapping out of his thoughts. "S — Sorry! Did I wake you up?"
"No, you didn't."
The blonde observed his classmate carefully, noticing how a thin layer of sweat glistened on his forehead. "You're having trouble sleeping as well?"
"No." Jean denied rigidly, but that denial sounded half-hearted.
Armin chewed on his bottom lip, knowing well that Jean was lying. Silence enveloped them in the darkness, before he broke it once again, "Hey, Jean… Is it going to get harder?"
"What is?"
"Thinking and worrying about what's going to happen tomorrow — who's going to die, killing people, hurting people. Watching helplessly as Titans kill everyone we know… devouring and spitting out our comrades..." The blonde's finger trembled a little, but he willed it to stop by clutching onto his blanket. "Can it get any harder than this? Are we ever going to obtain a sign or a reason why we're still alive?"
"I don't know..." Jean replied hastily, frowning. He too did not have the answers that Armin desired, as much as he wanted to know for himself. "…Maybe. Who knows? We just have to prepare ourselves and listen to orders."
Armin cast his weary gaze out the window. "I always thought that one day, mankind ought to leave the walls. I've read so many things about the outside world from an illegal book my grandfather had stashed away… Land made of ice, fields of sands, and a vast salt-water world called the ocean… But the people within the walls called me a heretic, bullied me and beat me. Eren and Mikasa were always there to rescue me…"
Jean snorted a little. "So it's not just the suicidal bastard who wanted to go outside the walls, huh?"
"…I guess not…" Armin murmured. "To be honest, I never understood why people resented us for wanting to explore the world outside, and neither did I understand why it was a taboo. I hated them for thinking I'm a heretic and called them crazy for thinking that the walls were going to protect them forever… But although my words came true and Wall Maria really did fall… maybe they were right after all..."
"What?" Jean echoed, bewildered.
Armin looked up, his features clouded in a dark veil. "What if there is no land of ice, fields of sands, and all the other wonderful things we heard about the world outside the walls? What if the freedom that we are fighting so hard for was impossible from the very start…? If Titans were meant to always be the dominant species… if nothing more than agony, grief, and death awaits us beyond the Walls… then what are we fighting for in the first place? Aren't we risking our lives for just a mere hypothesis of the world outside which we know vaguely about? Wouldn't it be better to stay within the Walls?"
"There's no use thinking about this now," Jean muttered after a brief pause. "I never really cared about humanity's freedom, nor was I that passionate about killing Titans like Eren was… but this is the route that we have chosen. Isn't it a little too late to turn back?"
"Do you regret choosing this route?" Armin inquired in a small voice.
Jean contemplated his answer for a moment and the painful image of Marco's corpse struck him. Marco, his only true friend. Sweet kind-hearted Marco did not deserve that horrifying ghastly death.
"No, I don't. Why? Do you?"
"…Maybe. I don't know either. Eren got kidnapped again and we don't even know if he's alive or not. We've always thought that our enemies were beyond the Walls, but now… It seems that even within the Walls, we are still not safe..." Armin admitted meekly. "It gets tiring sometimes… it's tiring to try and believe when everything around you seems so hopeless…"
Jean slowly absorbed his words. "That's the only thing we can do right now…believe."
Armin's lips twitched slightly. "Believe… huh?"
"Just living will take a lot of willpower since we're living in a nightmare." Jean carried on. "The only thing we can do is continue on believing and hoping. Fighting until we breathe our final breath, praying that humanity's shitty situation would get better... So we shouldn't bother wasting time on pondering about things like this and just continue on what we're doing."
"Even if it's what we are hoping and believing in is a hopeless cause?"
Jean's eyes hollowed as he dejected his gaze away. "...Yeah. We can't look back Armin, we can only go forward."
The sounds of footsteps shuffling from the door filtered through the closed door and soon enough, the door swung open abruptly, causing Jean and Armin to jump at the noise. "Oi, you're still not sleeping?"
Armin quickly got on his feet and headed towards his bed, pulling the tucked in covers and slipping inside. "We are going to, sir."
Levi narrowed his hard gray eyes, leaning against the doorframe, "We're leaving early tomorrow. Stop making so much noise."
"Ah, it's always so hard to work with you. You're so uptight." A female voice suddenly entered the vicinity and Ida popped up from behind Levi. She smirked snidely when she saw his scowl, and moved her attention to Jean and Armin, "Hey, the moody brat is brooding over Eren."
"Mikasa?" Armin and Jean echoed in unison.
"Yeah." Ida nodded and folded her arms. She gestured to the direction of the hallway with her head and said, "Go and accompany her before she scares the life out of someone by staying in the dining room in complete darkness like a ghost."
"Tch." Levi scoffed when he heard that, moving away from the door.
Ida raised a brow when she saw this, taking note of how much grumpier he seemed. "Hey, Levi—"
Her words were cut off when Levi brushed past her, knocking into her shoulder. Stumbling, she blinked in shock, watching him storm down the hallway. Ida observed how his silhouette looked immensely annoyed and angry, almost as if he had a dark and murderous aura clinging onto him.
What happened to him?
"Did you guys… do something wrong?" Ida finally snapped out of her stunned daze, addressing the boys in the room.
Armin and Jean looked at each other in perplexity. "No, I don't think so," the blonde responded.
How odd… Ida thought to herself. Perhaps he is just too stressed out…?
Clicking her tongue, she decided to just drop the matter for now. Though it concerned her a tad bit, Ida shrugged and passed it off as one of Levi's mood swings. "I understand. If you are worried about her, Mikasa is in the dining room."
Almost instantly, Jean hopped off of his bed, followed shortly by Armin. "Thank you."
o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o
6 Hours Ago.
Erwin held onto his Survey Corps tan jacket, feeling immense pride for bearing the Wings of Freedom logo on his back and shoulder. As two Military Police soldiers escorted him through the hallway, he found his mind wandering towards Levi and his squad.
Arriving at a large, majestic oak door within the Central Government headquarters, he knocked on the door before twisting the doorknob and stalking in. Pixis was already there, along with Nile Doks and the Commander-in-Chief Darius Zackley, who was seated behind the grand office table, his fingers interlocked as he waited for the meeting to start.
"Erwin, you're here." Pixis said from the cushioned chair, crossing his arms casually. "We were waiting for you."
"Pixis. Nile." He greeted with acknowledgment and went forward to Darius, saluting him out of respect and reverence. "Commander Zackley."
The elder male nodded, gesturing to the vacant seat beside Pixis. "Take a seat, Erwin."
"Have you had any luck with the nobles?" Erwin inquired tentatively, seating himself.
"I'm afraid not," Pixis sighed loudly, a tad bit dejected at their lack of progress. "A stubborn bunch, I'd say. However, I'd understand if most of them refused to talk, but it appears that they truly do not have any other further information other than the ones given."
"So, only the principal players hold the crucial information." Erwin murmured speculatively. "They're being extremely careful, for them to go to such lengths."
"Not only that, but it appears that we haven't fully suppressed the Central Military Police," Zackley adjusted the frames of his glasses on his nose uncomfortably. "A majority of them seemed to have been reassigned somewhere."
Clenching his jaw, Erwin simply stared into the adjacent window, watching as clouds floated away in the afternoon air, being carried with the breeze. He inhaled patiently. "This would be troublesome, though there hasn't been any suppression from the civilians on our rebellion, this could still end up in a civil war."
Nile Doks, who had gotten all the crucial information from Zackley, piped out. "What bothers me is how confident they are — to go as far as to block refugees from entering Wall Sina when they heard Wall Rose had been breached… They would rather kill off half of humanity than to give up their assets, and on top of that, they did not consider the sentiment of the civilians. Surely they would put themselves in a bad image to the people of Wall Sina if they were to refuse to accept the refugees?"
"Ah… yes, about that." Zackley tapped his finger on the wooden table, contemplating. "Up until now, the captured nobles still won't tell us what their trump card is."
Erwin looked at Pixis, who nodded in a gesture. "…It's Eren."
"What?" Nile blinked, appalled.
Zackley stared at the blonde, his gaze demanding for an explanation. "Erwin, what do you mean by that?"
"It's just a theory, but one thing is clear — those who had came from beyond the Walls, the first settlers of a hundred years ago. Why is it that they have no knowledge of life beyond the Walls? No knowledge of how Titans came to be, nor how the Walls were made?"
"Not only that — the government only desperately wanted to get their hands on it after they heard Eren had this miraculous 'voice' ability to control Titans," Pixis added on with a slight hint of displeasure. "It makes sense."
Erwin continued with a frown, "What I'm trying to say is, these people, our ancestors, they had their memories altered, somehow."
The supreme commander nodded his head as he processed Erwin's words. "It's certainly a plausible explanation for why no one has knowledge on Titans, however, how does this link to Eren?
"During the breach of Wall Rose, it's been discovered that Titans were formerly humans. The Titans that appeared were the members of the Ragako Village in the south of Wall Rose..." Erwin clenched his fist. "…Since we have confirmation that Titans are biologically related to humans, what if Eren's 'voice' affected us, humans, as well?"
Nile and Zackley's eyes widened to the size of plates, shock gracing their features. Zackley was the first to recover from the appalling news and he said, "If this is true… this would be their trump card since Eren is in their hands now. But the boy wouldn't be willing to alter the civilian's memories for them, would he?"
"That's the problem," Erwin fished into his front pocket, extracting out a letter that Hanji had handed him long before he was captured. He placed it on the table, sliding it towards Zackley. "This is the conversation that Eren had overheard when he was captured by The Colossal Titan and Armored Titan, Reiner and Bertholdt. Ymir — a former Survey Corps member — who was one of the Titan Shifters, ate one of their childhood friends."
Zackley reached out and opened the letter, scanning through the contents as Erwin continued. "She had obtained the power to transform back into a human, or more accurately, she attained the power to control the Titan's transformation ability from the childhood friend of theirs that she devoured. If that ability can be taken from a devoured opponent, then maybe the same goes for the power of Eren's 'voice'."
"If that's the case, we need to obtain Eren back as soon as possible." Zackley sat up straighter, passing the letter towards Nile to read. "The revolution is still at a standstill if we don't find them quickly."
"I already have a team assigned for that," Erwin replied. "Captain Levi and his squad are probably searching for them right now."
"Hah, it seems that you're always prepared for everything, Erwin," Nile said lightly.
"However…" Pixis started out in an exaggerated slowness. "Even if we obtain Eren back, there's a chance that we wouldn't be able to obtain their technology and knowledge, the power to build walls with Titans, and the power to alter the human memory… The nobility is privy to all of humanity's secrets and these serve as humanity's trump card. We need to inherit everything, otherwise, we will still be gambling with the fate of mankind and we can not allow it be lost with this revolution. I doubt the Reiss family would talk even if we manage to capture them."
Zackley pursed his cracked lips, straightening himself. "…Erwin?" he echoed dubiously when he saw how lost the blonde looked.
Erwin Smith never looked lost. The man had great intuition and is greatly capable of discerning information quickly, so it surprised Zackley when he saw how distracted he looked.
"Have we managed to discover the location of the Reiss family?" Erwin inquired.
"Unfortunately, no," Nile answered, looking despondent. "Many of the nobility that did not reside in Mitras have gone into hiding, but we're focusing all of our manpower on finding the Reiss family. Which brings me to the question, Erwin — why did you give out the order that we should ignore the Starke family?"
"Ah yes, I have been meaning to ask that," Zackley said sedately. "Erwin you've once said that they were one of the key players along with the Reiss family. So why are we leaving them to be? The last we know, they are still situated in their estate. If we act quickly, we might be able to capture them."
"There's no guarantee… but I have a plan on how to secure the Starke family and their secrets," Erwin replied tonelessly. His hand furrowed over his trousers, gripping onto the material. He stared directly at Zackley, his striking blue eyes flashing with some form of somber and deep remorse. "Though I can't say I'm fond of the methods."
o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o
[This scene is Rated M, please skip it if you wish.]
Breathe.
She didn't know how many times she repeatedly reminded herself to do that, nor how many times she had chanted that word in her head like a prayer; so much to the point it had a calming effect on her now. Ida brushed through her long, blazing red hair in pure silence, staring at herself in the mirror on her bedroom wall.
Inhaling deeply, she placed the brush on the counter and found herself staring at her open window. The cool crisp night air was refreshing, almost unclogging her difficulty in breathing. Drawn to the brief comfort, she walked towards the window and she tilted her head upwards to gaze at the sky.
It was late.
The full moon glistening on the dark blue sky, a somber theater with shimmering stars, an endless black sky that seemed to spread out to infinity.
Quietness, peace, all forms life; nothing but her and her endless thoughts.
At that time, she was consumed by a single insecurity. Loneliness. It was strange, really. In the past, Ida had never feared being alone — she had gotten used to it because of the solidarity lifestyle, but now, it was different. She could feel it with every heavy step she took — the acidic dread in her stomach and her reluctant sluggish movements.
Was it really alright for her to be here? Why is she even here? Was she going to allow her selfish emotions to get the better of her?
The vast expanse of inky blackness darkened as the night went on, a light breeze rustled the leaves. As Ida looked up at the tree branches, it was easy to believe that the darkness was endless, that it went on forever.
She wanted this to go on forever…
But she couldn't — not when humanity's victory was counting on her.
With a determined sharp turn of her heel, she forced herself to get dressed in the blanket of darkness. Her hands found her way to her hooded cloak, and she fastened it around her neck in a chokehold. A loose thread from the cloak got caught up in her charms, and she carefully detangled it.
Levi…
How would he react if he knew? Would he be disappointed? Would he be worried?
Of course, he would. There was no doubt to Ida that Levi — despite his prickly exterior — would be worried. He was always one to care about his subordinates and she knew for a fact that he cared about her.
Maybe he'll be so worried, he might come looking for her. She doubted it, though — he was always so strong, so irrevocably perfect in her eyes, there was no way Levi would even bother to do that. There's a limit to how much one can care about. Levi had no time, nor the heart to spare; it was all consumed and dedicated to humanity.
His fantastic skills with the gears and amazing initiative — Levi was no doubt a great leader, putting aside his unsettling personality and height, she honestly could not see any flaws in that man. It was either he was great at concealing it up, or he was the definition of flawless. If Ida had to decide, it was the latter.
He was Humanity's Strongest and she will always rank below him. But unlike in the past, Ida knew that there was no way she could ever surpass him. She was naïve, cocky and arrogant back then to even dream of it. After everything she had been through, she had grown to understand she never could — Levi was always so strong. He was unlike her.
How much she admired him, how much she secretly wanted to be like him — if only he knew.
Ida Starke bit her lower lip and debated whether or not to do what her heart was telling her to do. It was so nearby, barely a minute away. With a loud, sad sigh, she decided it wouldn't hurt, one last time. She had grown to care for him and she deserved that least that much, to store and cherish in her memory bank. Perhaps it would even be the last time they would meet.
She wanted to see him so badly… More than anything, she wanted to see him now. But… why? This thought puzzled her. Why did she ache so badly to catch a glimpse of him? Why was she that desperate? She honestly couldn't say as to why.
And a sudden thought struck Ida, quickly for her slow brain.
Was it because she loved him?
It seemed quite plausible, but the realization left her feeling less satisfied and a little hollower. Because she knew that no matter how much she loved him, he would never love her back the same way. It hurt, badly. So much that she wanted to tear up.
But still, she wanted to see him.
Careful not to make any noises, she stalked her way across the hallway, passing by Hanji's and the boys' room, their loud snores echoing into the narrow hallway. Despite the lack of light, she found it eventually, Levi's room.
She creaked open the door as quietly as she possibly could and her heart stilled when she saw that he was fast asleep. Thank the gods, she thought with a sigh of relief. With every step she took further into the room, her heart sank. Further, further, and further until it finally reached rock bottom.
Through the soft moonlight from the open window, she simply watched him sleep, but her fingers tingled. She wanted to touch him. It took every ounce of self-control in her to hold back her hand for fear of startling him awake. Though Levi was known to have insomnia and there was no doubt he was exhausted, she wasn't going to take any chances.
Looking into his closed ambiguous eyes — eyes that rarely revealed any true human emotions — she gave the slumbering Captain a sad smile.
Ida didn't realize how nervous she was until she opened her mouth to speak, only to find them as dry as a barren desert. She closed her mouth and opted for smiling sadly at his calm appearance, realizing how much younger he looked when his face was calm.
The dark expression that harbored so much resentment, rage, and burdens — it was all gone now.
He looked like a different person when he slept.
If we were born into a different world, you might have been a different man, and maybe I'd be a different person as well. If we were born into a different world… then perhaps, things could've been different between us…
"…Sorry…" she whispered hoarsely.
Holding back on the prickling tears in her eyes, she quickly made a fast exit before she lost control of herself. She can't afford to be sentimental now. Her hand was on the doorknob, ready to open, when a hard voice spoke behind her, causing her blood in her veins to turn into frozen slush.
"Is that any way to apologize to someone?"
Ida gasped loudly and turned around, backing up against the door in pure horror as the sleeping — or so she thought, Captain sat up from his bed, stabbing her with a hard steel-edged glare laced with the most vicious venom.
"Where the hell are you going?" he wasted no time in asking, displeasure clearly injected into his tone.
The horrified girl braced herself, bravely putting up a composed front. "I was just going back to my room," she lied hastily, but her gaze was downcast.
"Do not let me repeat myself again, Ida," Levi spoke so coldly that Ida was frozen along with it. "Where the fuck do you think you're going?"
He'd felt anger that he hadn't even known he was capable of possessing. Anger so strong, it morphed into a white-hot, blind rage that would have put Ida's infamous sugar-rushed wrath to shame. Looking back on it now, Levi still wasn't sure about what exactly had transpired during his moment of aggression — one second ago he'd been pretending to be asleep as Ida came in, next second, he was up on his feet, angrily walking towards her.
This probably should have worried Ida, things just tended to happen when he was angry, this angry, there really was no getting around that fact. But despite her legs turning to jelly in fear, she lifted her head high and pretended nothing was wrong.
"What's your problem?" Anger sparking, the female fixed her gaze at him with a vicious glower. "Look, I'm sorry I woke you up alright? Calm the hell down and go back to sleep. If you're going to be establishing dominance and setting hierarchy, then excuse me, the animal kingdom does not interest me."
Levi's cold eyes narrowed surreptitiously in an ever-challenging manner and he twisted his lip into a formidable scowl that made his disdain for her answer clear enough. "How long do you think you can lie to me?"
Comprehension flooded Ida faster than she could have blinked.
He knew.
Her stomach hollowed out, cramping and pulling at the thought. She couldn't help herself — she lost control of the composure she had and fell into a panic. "Wh — What?" she stuttered, trying to edge away from him. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Ida gulped, it didn't really matter how he knew. He knew, and he was angry. Livid, even. She had never seen him so mad before. Ida watched him in silence, her chest constricting painfully as she waited for him to talk.
But what does it matter anyway? Levi wouldn't stop her even if he knew. She had a duty to mankind, a duty that she would hell-bent on accomplishing even at the expense of her life. There was too much riding on her now.
"So it's true then?" Levi's eyes hollowed and he cornered her, grabbing onto her wrist. "What kind of stupid things are you planning again?"
Ida did not appreciate his attempts to stop her and at this point rage and panic had already blinded her. "Let me go!"
Unfortunately for her, Levi was the stronger force. Ida hissed in irritation, overpowered by his rigid hold. Levi considered her briefly for a moment and recognition struck him hard. "Erwin… Does Erwin know about this…?"
She grew silent in intense guilt, biting her lips as she breathed out heavily, her nostrils flaring. Ida understood that Levi took her silence as confirmation, and she let him. She didn't want to see him now, she didn't know if she could still leave if she did.
"I don't know what you're planning, but you're not fucking leaving."
At that, she snapped her incredulous gaze to him. "Who the hell do you think you're trying to tell me what to do! I'm leaving, there's something that I need to do—"
"Shut the hell up and just fucking listen!"
Startled by his outburst, she backed away and gasped in pain when her back hit the concrete wall. Rubbing on her throbbing wrist where he gripped her, Ida shot a hateful glare at the man in front of her, but she was silent, mute in shock and fear.
"Just… shut the fuck up," Levi growled at her menacingly once again, but his voice softer now when he saw how frightened she looked. He sounded so strained as if he had been screaming for the past hour.
Suddenly, he slammed his hands beside her on the concrete wall, blocking Ida's escape path. She froze for a moment, dismayed at the amount of anger presented on his face. He was almost trembling in anger at this point.
Why… Why was he so angry?
She released her long breath that she didn't even know she was holding in.
When she finally relaxed, she saw it…
Underneath that intimidating contorted rage flashed on his features, she saw something else…
Ida had always been able to see his rare little flickers of emotion if she could dare say so herself. There was something else to Levi's aggressive action and rage as he stared at her, some sort of pain underneath the coldness of his eyes, Ida had realized.
She could only look back at him with unimaginable guilt.
…Levi was hurt. He was concerned about her. He cared about her. He was worried about her.
Even though it was tearing Ida apart to look at him, she was feeling more pain than her exterior appearance was allowing her to show. Her pain was not subsiding, only escalating. With shaking hands, she pressed a hand against his chest and pushed him away gently. But the damage had been done. The memory of his disappointed, angry and concerned face was the sole reason her heart was beating the way it was — far beyond a physical reason.
"I'm… sorry…" she managed in a whisper, her gaze downcast. "I didn't mean to keep this from you... But..."
She trailed off, not knowing what to say. At that moment, Ida craved for the ability to dive into his mind, she wanted to know what he was thinking. His face was indescribable, but with her hand over his chest, she could feel that his heartbeat had escalated. Whether it's from anger or something else, she didn't know.
Warm, salty tears stung her eyes and she took in loud gulps of oxygen, her hands were almost shivering at this point.
She never wanted this, she always wanted to be by his side, but she didn't have a choice.
The thought of leaving him was excruciating, it was so painful that she could barely breathe. "I'm sorry…" she murmured once again. Her hand clutched onto his shirt tightly and she gingerly moved forward, resting her forehead on his. "I'm…sorry… But... I have to do this."
I need to leave you.
One second, ten seconds, one minute — Levi didn't know how long time had passed as she just stood there, face barely inches away from him. Cautiously, he moved his hand and tucked a strand of red hair behind her ear. He didn't notice her water-filled eyes look up at him.
Though he didn't exactly know what she was apologizing about, it pained him to see her this way, so torn, so fragile, so vulnerable, so afraid… it made every ounce of protective instinct in him flare-up in a heart-throbbing reaction. He could not let her go and he would never let her out of his sight because this was the only way he could protect her; the only way he could keep her alive. He would not risk losing her.
How much he adored her, how much he cared for her, how much he didn't want her to go — he channeled all of his newfound emotions into a haunting glare as if it would transmit his message, and he remained silent.
All of those times when he'd felt angry for no reason at all, when he'd wanted to punch a hole through someone's face, when he'd felt so concerned for her he could hardly compose himself… All of those times he wanted to see her…
Was it okay to fall, just once? To forget about everything... to ignore everything and just focus on what he was feeling?
Moving his lips up to the top of her forehead, he kissed her gently.
She stiffened when she felt his lips on her forehead and her whole world stopped at that very moment.
Ida broke away from him gently, wary that he was watching her body language to decipher what her eventual decision would be. Don't go, his haunting, dark cold eyes were saying. Stay.
Eyes locked, heart stopped, breathing hitched, and before Ida could help it, his hands ran through her hair — sending physical chills down her spine. His caress was so sensual that Ida felt the tingle travel all the way down to her toes. For a moment, she couldn't even remember what they were talking about as he tilted her head up with a finger under her chin.
Had he always been this gentle?
A breath escaped her lips just before Levi's lips landed on hers effortlessly. Without warning, Levi kissed her, closing the little space between them and pressing his hard, muscular body against her.
Shock of the greatest kind paralyzed her.
The only thing that brought her back to reality was the stinging agonizing reaction at the back of her mind that reminded her of her resolve. No, she can't do this. Finding the strength, she moved her hands towards his chest and tried to push him away. "W — What—"
Levi made an irritated noise and grabbed her hands, pinning them to the wall, never once breaking the heart-stopping aggressive kiss. Ida felt her whole body shiver as she resisted, almost half-heartedly.
"L — Let me—" Her words died at the back of her throat and traveled painfully down her windpipe when Levi took the opportunity of her parted mouth to thrust his tongue in to explore her mouth.
As he kissed her passionately, Ida felt her resolve to escape wavering, dangerously dissipating. The tension in her wrist was relaxing and her paused heart started throbbing violently. Slowly, she relaxed her tensed shoulders and closed her eyes, receiving and accepting the kiss openly as they gave in to every ounce of desire burning inside of them.
What was she doing?
She had grown up now, she wanted to be responsible, and she wanted to be of use to mankind. She wanted to be a great soldier like her Captain…
But… how long has she wanted this? To be held like this by him?
Where was this heading to?
The surge of emotions building up between them was overpowering. She felt every bit of energy being sucked out of her with every passing second. She could feel the guilt and rage inside of her disappearing, only to be replaced by passion and lust.
Like a phenomenon, her body knew how to respond to satisfy her craving. When she felt Levi's grip on her wrist relaxing, she moved her arms and reached for his nape, pulling him closer as they kissed hungrily out of irresistible need.
Ida buried her lips onto his fiercely, needful and greedy. She could feel his lips etching into a dangerous smirk when she responded to his advances as if to mock her, knowing well that her resolve to escape was fading rapidly. Then, he stopped and pulled away, as if to compose himself.
He tilted his head away from her, and Ida almost let out a whimper at that. Levi breathed out heavily as he stared at her, completely breathless from the kiss, his eyes dark and cold. She held her breath. Ida knew what he was hesitant about.
They shouldn't be doing this… there's just too much at stake. They were Captain and subordinate, weren't they?
Attachment, feelings, love — things like this were out of reach for people like them.
They were in the middle of a war. The world was frightening cruel. They didn't even know what tomorrow had entailed for them.
But she didn't want to lose this insanity yet, and neither did he. So they buried their rational thoughts deep underground, blocking out the noises from her sound mind.
Just for once… Maybe...
Boldly, she grabbed onto his shirt before he could move away from her and forcefully pushed him towards the wall behind her with a loud thump, exchanging their previous position. Narrowing her emerald eyes down, she leaned in, giving her his answer to his unsaid question. She didn't know what overcame her as she plunged her lips greedily onto his, her cheeks flushing red when she heard him groan and bite onto her lower lip, tugging it playfully. Ida kissed him fervently, not caring about the havoc-wreaking the world around them, or even if Titans had breached the Walls that very moment.
Like Levi, she just didn't care anymore. All her worries and the rational part of her brain were long gone, obliterated, pulverized to dust. They weren't Humanity's Strongest Team, and neither were they leading soldiers in amidst of war.
They were nothing more than a simple man and woman. Humans. A simple human.
It didn't matter where they were, nor what troubles they had. The world around her was dead silent as she felt Levi's hands on her hips. All her senses seemed to malfunction, seemingly concentrating only on him.
As long as she was with him, nothing else matters.
There was no denying it now, Ida knew — she loved him. She was attached to him.
Attachment brought back so many hurtful memories.
To her, attachment was loss, attachment was agony, and attachment was grief.
Levi gave attachment a new meaning to her.
To her, attachment is love — warmth, passion, and Levi Ackerman.
Warm, calloused hands snaked under her cloak and roamed deliciously over her skin, rubbing, soothing, completely lustful. She could feel his fingers trace the outlines of her muscles delicately; starting at her collarbone, trailing over her chest, down her ribcage, finding the dip in her hipbones and daring to go even further, touching what hardly any man had never been allowed.
I… was once a careless, arrogant, and irresponsible child… Ida thought as she bit back a pleasurable moan, digging her nails into his back. Her nails scraped through his shirt and plunged into his skin.
She felt his hands snake underneath her thighs, and her legs, as though it had a mind of its own, roped itself around his thick muscular waist, pulling her lower body as he lifted her up. Levi roughly carried her on the nearby table, dropping her with a loud thump.
Papers, candles, they didn't care as the items dropped to the ground from the table one by one, landing with loud clangs. Even the clean freak Levi didn't even blink an eye at the mess. Instead, he was more focused on the damn fabric blocking him from experiencing more, from feeling more of her.
Hissing in annoyance, he grabbed her cloak by the hem and roughly pulled it away. Ripping sounds echoed.
But I had changed…because of you — because I secretly strive to be like you, because I secretly admired you from far, because I respected you... because honestly, I've always been attached to you…
Cracked, but incredibly warm, lips compressed over the skin of her neck at the base before dragging up to the lobe of her ears. Those same lips nipped at her nape, nuzzling the soft, creamy skin, and then traveled back downwards, heading for the collarbone.
Because I wanted to be perfect for you. Because I wanted to be someone you can be proud to call your partner. Because I wanted to shine with you so that I can be by your side and because of all that, I changed.
I wanted to be brave like you.
Ida gasped when she felt him nip on her collarbone playfully, and she giggled childishly at the slight stinging but completely pleasurable pain. Her chuckles soon turned into soft moans as his lips trailed down even further. She tilted her head back in delight as she felt him pull on her hair aggressively to gain further excess. His actions were rough, violent, but she loved every bit of it.
It was like he was trying to drive her crazy.
But… maybe just for one more time. It's okay for me to be like my past again — impetuous, selfish, honest towards my lust, and careless of the aftermath.
Pushing forward, she captured his lips once again. Surprised, it took him a moment to realize what had happened. But when he recovered, he softened his grip on her wrists, and eventually, his hands slipped down to her waist and he groaned lowly. Hungrily, the two kissed — pushing each other's flesh to another level of heat. He reached around her, and her hands instantly clung onto his neck.
She inhaled his warm scent as he pushed her roughly onto the soft bed. In the heat, the two arched so that their lips were dead on one another — writhing and faceted. Kissing and taking in each other's scents as if they couldn't get enough of each other, she allowed him to get on top of her, enveloping his masculine frame over her fragile female one.
Ripping off his shirt and allowing the buttons to bounce everywhere, she dragged her hands over his ripped chest, feeling the hard chiseled muscles budge out with every slow seductive trail of her fingers.
There were no words between them, just pleasurable moans and intoxicating groans, yet it was comfortable. In fact, it had always been like this between them — they were comfortable and contented in the silence. They were all right with unspoken questions or words because they understood that it was their actions that showed their true feelings — their innermost emotions that no one had ever seen on them before.
It had always been like this, they were always a different person when they were together.
Back to the days where they would sit at the same table, drinking tea in silence… When they battled together; not using a word to predict each other movements, slashing, spinning, zipping through mid-air all while looking out for each other.
Levi's rough, calloused hands from wielding blades for the past years were roaming all over her body, tugging open the blouse she was wearing with ease. His hands continued to roam all over her naked, defined stomach as they came up to her bra…
You're always saying nothing, keeping silent, just silently watching and observing… But even if it's like that… you still didn't think of giving up on me, did you?
With their lips permanently dancing, greedy and lustful, she reached down for his zipper while his hands danced against her naked thighs…
He… never has any sweet words for me…
Ida moaned as his lips trailed down to her neck, suctioning and giving attention to every living cell; she grabbed a fistful of his hair as he straddled his weight on top of her. She gasped, her own fingers pulling roughly on him as her fingernails clawed into his back, almost drawing blood as he was so busy ravishing her body. A low growl rumbled from her partner, vibrating through her neck and down her spine in a way that made her entire body shiver in delight.
He uses force, aggression, and anger… to make me understand what he's thinking…
She tugged on his hair when he felt him sinking his teeth on her lower lip.
I get the message, Levi. This time, I really got your message… and… I love you, too.
As a lone diamond tear escaped her lower lashes, deep inside, Ida Starke knew the moon and stars stood as witnesses to the true feelings flooding from her heart as she shared the night with Levi Ackerman.
It wouldn't hurt, just one last final solace...
o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o
2 Weeks Ago.
"No, Ida. That's final!" Erwin was never one to lose his cool, but this time, he was outraged.
His daughter was the exact opposite of him, she was composed as ever despite the insane words that had just flowed past her lips just seconds ago. Erwin plastered on his best stern-faced look, there's no way he was going to cave into the petite girl, he reasoned with himself. But he seriously doubted he could scare her even if he tried — and the heavens knew how determined that girl could be once she'd set her mind to something.
"What kind of shitty, disgraceful behavior is this? I'm your subordinate, Erwin. We have no biological relationship in this field of work." Ida tried to reason again and a battle of wills clashed between the two, sparking an odd and awkward atmosphere for Nifa by the side. "You're the commander of the Survey Corps, and I'm your scout. Do not put your personal emotions into making your decisions."
When?
Why didn't Erwin see this coming — how much Ida had changed throughout this past year. It wasn't like he found it odd, many scouts had changed in their own ways when they enlisted into the Survey Corps. The terrors of Titans and the constant death of comrades were enough to change anyone. So why didn't he see this coming?
Long ago, Erwin wanted Ida to be more responsible, to step up as the leading soldier that she was meant to be and to be in quite frank terms, to stop being a spoiled brat. He wanted to raise her up to be a formidable soldier like the prized Captain Levi — so that she could survive. He knew that she had the potential, the skills and the will to become like him. Ida could be a great leader.
But he never expected her to change this much.
"Do you even know what you're saying?" Erwin tried again, his tone a mixture of incredulous disbelief and the purest form of horror. "There's no saying that this plan would succeed anyway. It's too risky."
Ida scowled when she didn't get through to him. "You told me to gamble."
"Not like this!" Erwin argued back.
"It doesn't matter, I don't need your shitty approval to do that." she bit back fiercely, her green eyes cold and hollow. "How many scouts have you sacrificed to the Titans? How many have you sent to their deaths, Erwin? What's it all for? It's for humanity's sake!"
Nifa bit her lips, unsure if she should say something, but she did. "But there's no need to sacrifice yourself like that, you're a valuable asset to humanity."
She directed her anger to Nifa. "You have Levi, he is the strongest. Humanity can't gain shit without giving something else. I'm sure you know this by now. In order to gain something, we have to lose something," she moved her acidic, stinging steel-edged glare back to the blonde commander. "…You, out of all people should understand that. Use me as your pawn this time, I'm no different from all your previous ones."
Erwin contemplated over it, his teeth gritted in disdain. Ida had won this round, there was nothing else he could do — what else could he say without contradicting himself? Did he have the right to even stop her in the first place? No, he didn't.
All his life, he had dedicated himself to humanity.
Focused and driven by only one single goal, Erwin Smith wasn't afraid to send scouts to their early graves. How many comrades had he sent to be devoured by Titans? How many innocent people has he killed for humanity? Though Erwin harbored strong compassion for his subordinates, there was no saying that he wouldn't send many more to their deaths if it meant saving humanity.
He supposed it was his punishment for now. Karma had finally caught up to him. It was his turn to suffer now, to feel the grief and agony of all those families that had lost their loved ones because of his selfish driven actions.
Her face was stone cold as she continued, "I only ask for one thing. No one should know about this, and especially not Levi."
"He won't allow you to leave..." Erwin murmured his thoughts out loud conclusively. He could not deny that Levi was particularly protective of her. He exhaled loudly and reclined back to his seat. He watched Ida's face darken at his statement and before he could help himself, he asked, "...Do you love him?"
Silence. No words were exchanged then, only tense silence. It could have been seconds, or perhaps a long few minutes, but suddenly, the redhead let out a loud scoff. "Whether I like him, whether I hate him, it's just all too troublesome. Love, friendship, and attachment... it brings nothing but trouble, it's a hindrance and a distraction."
The carriage came into a standstill and Ida moved her gaze towards the window, looking at the bustling world of the royal capital outside.
The streets were full of vigor and everyone wore bright colors, expensive clothing, and jewelry. She watched as a passing family laughed merrily, in the complete pink of health and it made her sick.
It was so unfair… Why couldn't she be like that? Why couldn't she be at peace as well? Why couldn't she live in a small cottage somewhere far with her loved one, have kids, turn old and gray together? A life of tranquil bliss.
Why did the soldiers have to suffer everything while they laughed merrily over fine wine and food? Why did the people who had sacrificed the most for humanity, have nothing more to await them in the future than the jaws of Titans?
"When the time comes and I have to leave, I have to cut myself off from everything. Love, attachment, and friendship. It's so bothersome and it's a hassle. It's really nothing more but a saddening process..." she said, her voice frayed and soft. She turned to Erwin. "All soldiers shouldn't have these unnecessary feelings, don't you think?"
o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o
She was wide awake.
The time was in the extreme wee hours of the morning. Two hours from now, the sun would have risen.
Forcefully, she tugged open her heavy lids… and found herself staring at an Adam's apple. She became conscious of the warm body closely meshed behind her. One of Levi's legs was carelessly thrown over hers, and his arms were wrapped around her waist. Visions of the night before flashed in her mind, and she blushed at her promiscuity. But she felt no shame for she had no regret about what had happened between them.
One touch. Two touches. One kiss. Two kisses.
Now, they were in their aftermath, and Levi was fast asleep by now. Reaching out, Ida caressed his slumbering face, loving how very vulnerable he looked beside her. Who knew that he had this side to him? A side that is so loving, so gentle, and so peaceful. There was no frown, just pure bliss, and content as he slept.
Ida was right in her suspicion, Levi was really an ardent lover, holding nothing back.
Her warm body heat made her want to fall asleep more than anything and Ida liked the feel of his body next to his. Although sweaty and sticky, it was comfortable and warm. She snuggled closer towards him, burying her face into the cuffs of his neck. The scent of his hair and body was so intoxicating to her. Ida leaned in and closed her eyes, she kissed his chest, right above his beating heart.
Slowly and painstakingly, she kissed him.
Here was a man who had been through it all.
Here was a man that hardly showed any emotions, keeping everything bottled to himself despite his heavy burdens.
Here was Humanity's strongest, and how deeply he had fallen from his pedestal.
She remembered how he held her with his strong arms, how much he painstakingly kissed her as if she was some sort of exotic meal that he wanted to devour completely — hungrily and needy. She recalled how his calloused hands ravaged her roughly as if to tell her how he was feeling, leaving every cell along his trail tingling with excitement, how he kissed every scar that she had obtained over her years of battle, how she pulled onto his hair with every lustful moan, how he bit onto her lips to draw blood and played with her tongue.
How much she loved him — even down to every flaw in him, to his scars on his body to the little frown lines under his eyes. Ida blushed when she saw the teeth marks on his shoulder, remembering how she had to bite him to restrain back a scream and she was sure that her nails were marked at his back.
Had it only been just hours ago? The memory felt hazy like an illusion, too far away and too perfect for it to have been real.
...But all good things must come to an end.
"…I'm sorry, Levi. But you should know that I was never one listen to orders…"
Carefully, she moved out of the bed, taking extreme precautions to not make any sudden movements. It had been days since the squad had a good rest, and Levi was no doubt exhausted, especially after what happened just hours ago.
She knew that she had to move fast. Allowing her long, scarlet hair to fall simultaneously on her naked shoulders, she started to roam around the dark room looking for what she needed…
Along with her clothes and shoes, she started to get dressed in the dark.
Her cloak was unsalvageable though and she sighed at that. Once done, she clicked open the doors and stared longingly at the sleeping man on the bed once more, before forcing herself to pull away as her chest constricted painfully.
You've got two strong legs. Keep moving forward and don't look back.
Heading back to her room, she rummaged through her belongings for another cloak and took the silver box containing her 3D maneuver gears and quickly strapped the leather straps around her body.
Faster, she needed to go faster. Time was the essence now.
Taking the bag that she previously packed earlier, she opened the window, knowing well that there was a chance that someone was awake — she couldn't afford to be seen, not now. Jumping, she landed easily on the ground and the soil around her feet felt muddy, almost as if it had been raining.
In a hurry, she made her way around the house and towards the stables.
She spotted her white mare at the very corner and she gingerly touched its snout as it nuzzled with familiarity onto her hand. "Hey, girl… We're going on a trip."
Smiling sadly, she saddled her horse and mounted it, pulling on the reins. A gush of cool wind kissed her when she exited the stables — it felt painfully cold against her exposed skin, mildly messing with her body temperature. Just a few minutes ago, she'd been so warm, so contented, so happy.
Now, everything was ice cold, like the raging fire in her had frozen solid.
The wind tousled her locks and she pushed it out of her line of vision and mouth in annoyance.
"Bloody hell, why is your hair so long? Doesn't it disrupt your line of vision when you're fighting?"
"…I braid it to the side all the time… My hair was longer before I cut it short, now it's only chest length. Plus, I'm a girl, I want to look pretty too."
She allowed herself to fade into the sweet memory, her eyes closed as she replayed it in her mind. Slowly, she opened her eyes, revealing determined and narrowed down green pupils. Bundling up her thick locks with one hand, she took a blade from her gearbox and with exaggerated slowness, ran the sharp blade through her blazing red hair, cropping it short.
"You look perfectly fine even if it's short."
As the wind picked up her severed locks, carrying it along with the currents like floating wisps of crimson flower petals, Ida found herself breathing in deeply. Her short scarlet hair falling gingerly on her shoulders, the severed ends prickling her tender skin.
She will cut herself away from everything.
It's a clear gesture of defiance, dissatisfaction, and despair.
She wasn't scared. Ida was content with her life. Meeting Petra and the others, the support she had received from her new squad, Erwin's guidance, finally receiving Levi's love. No agony, no sadness, no regrets. There is nothing more for her heart to linger in this world.
Even though she knew that there was a slim chance she would ever return alive, she was prepared for that.
It wasn't painful at all. Though she knew it was going to be lonely, to not be able to fight alongside everyone. But being lonely isn't nearly as bad as being in the way. If she was just going to be a hindrance to Levi, to everyone, then it's far better to be lonely.
Pulling up her hood, she gathered the reins and gripped it tightly, slapping it against her horse. She heard the animal neigh out in protest, its hooves trotting before excitedly speeding off into the forest.
Thunder roared in the distance, the raging, vicious cool wind howling through the forest. Dark clouds pressed against each other as if trying to see which will break first. Then, she felt it, the first droplets of rain, pattering against her skin.
It was as if the heavens were crying along with her.
She gazed her solemn eyes upwards at the sky. Rain began to pour down, furious and heavy, cruel and destructive. The droplets thudded on her like raining bullets aimed to kill.
Yes, the rain is good. This way, no one would see her cry.
FINALLY, LEVIDA IS OFFICIAL AFTER 22 LONG ASS CHAPTERS. (ok, somewhat official)
Ok. I'm gonna go hide my red face now, I can't believe I wrote this, first time for me! But well, you guys requested, I delivered, hope it's satisfying! Sorry, it's not those 'full-ledge' lemons because... Well, I didn't want things to get too graphic. Also, sorry if this chapter is kind of cliche and dramatic, I can't help myself.
Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I do hope that Levi isn't too OOC here, I tried my best since it's my first time writing something like this! ),: