Humanity's Strongest Woman

by xDollfie

In every empire, there is an epic era that defies the boundaries of time and immortalized itself in the history books. For mankind, an epic era they will never forget has finally emerged. The war between humanity and Titans has finally come to a head. Love cease to exist in a time like this, but they found it, and promised that it'll be worth it. Every stubborn inch of it [LEVIXOC]

26. Broken Things

A/N: Thank you for your overwhelming support! For all those follows, favorites and reviews. I honestly can't believe this story has over 700 follows and favorites and close to 500 reviews! It's been a dream. I'm terribly sorry for my lack of updates.

My writing style has changed a little, so I hope you don't find it too confusing. Once again, thank you for the support, truly. For all those who had stuck by this story. I can never express my gratitude. Enjoy.

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Humanity's Strongest Woman by xDollfie

Chapter 23 — Broken Things

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Year 845. Shiganshina District.

The day was ranked with the smell of blood.

Fear and dread coiled around her belly, her lungs seemingly burned through her chest. Ida Starke pushed herself to carry on and her legs obeyed to her firm resolve. Considering how hellacious everything was already, the thought of things getting even worse sent a shiver of fear down her spine. Sprinting and maneuvering through a pack of panicked, screaming civilians, the incredibly agile teenager whipped her way through the streets, pushing against the current of a fleeing human sea heading in the opposite direction.

Knocking against a tall running passer-by, she lost balance and fell to the rough, concrete ground, bruising her knees.

"Ah…" Ida sobbed pitifully. Through her pitiful sobs and cries, she pushed herself up with her elbows, but it wasn't long before she was trampled under the hard soles of the rushing frantic crowd.

The images crept into her mind and the blood licked her tongue. The phantom screams. A decimated town, burning to ashes. Blood of the insignificant that rained from the sky. Her mind wanted to sink back into the darkness.

This couldn't be happening, she convinced herself. Ida tried to rise from the position on the ground but she collapsed from the weight. Whispering into her ear, a chilling voice of fear threatened to hold her body immobile. Ida looked up just in time to witness a macabre series of murder all around her — no one was spared from the wrath of the Titans that breached the walls.

Keep moving, she told herself, you have to.

Elsie was still out there, and even though Ida wanted nothing more than to run and hide, she needed to know that her mother was safe. She hauled herself up, expelled her blood that coated her mouth and sprinted on resiliently — it was just by the corner, the modest house that she had called home. These monsters, these abominations with a hankering sweet tooth for human flesh — they hadn't come this far into the city yet, Elsie was safe.

Yet, as she repeatedly told herself that, she tried not to acknowledge the fact that even she herself wasn't entirely convinced by her own statements.

Ida tried to desperately steady her nerves. The constant murderous cries that pierced the stilled air was beyond daunting. But what petrified her even more was the mere thought of one of the cries belonging to her mother. All she could think of was the singular terror that just by that thought, her deepest fear would be confirmed and that she would be all alone in this horrifying world.

However, Ida managed to keep that terror under a wrap of calm as she ran across the streets — there was no way Elsie was dead. Impossible, she would say — Ida would have done anything and everything to prevent it from happening.

A flash of scarlet splashed her vision. Ida wasn't sure if it was the crimson color of blood she spotted, but as she advanced towards it, she was sure of it. Elsie, her mother, her scarlet red hair almost gleamed among the decimated city. A wave of relief washed of her and she waved to catch her attention.

"MOM! MOM!"

Elsie suddenly started screaming something at her, but Ida could barely make out the words over the blood-curling screams of the frightened and the resonating echoes of the canons from the walls. She was just about to make sure her mother was alright when a shadow hovered over her.

Titan.

"NO, IDA!" Elsie's cries of denial were distant and Ida felt fear cripple her nerves. Was this what a Titan looked like? It was one thing to look at it from afar, but it was certainly another thing to witness the very monster that kept humanity locked up in a cage for a hundred years this close.

"IDA, RUN!"

Ida barely had time to even think about what her mother had told her about the Titans before Elsie was wrapping a hand around her arm and hauling her none-too-gently towards the opposite direction. Still, she found her shocked gaze still pinned on the terrifying monster — it wasn't until Ida saw a human girl in its hands did she look away.

It was a heartbeat later when Ida's loud pants were drowned out by a bloodcurdling, pain-filled scream that suddenly rose up above all the commotion. She knew it was from the girl.

There's nothing much I can do, she told herself, once you get captured it's the end.

They had reached a desolated alley and they stopped to regain their breaths. With the way Elsie was scanning the area — it looked as though she was running away from something and that she was making sure that no one was following her.

Titan, Ida assumed, but those monsters were giants, a good few meters tall, it wasn't that hard to spot them.

Was Elsie looking out for something or rather someone instead? Ida wondered.

"Why did you come back here?!" Elsie demanded incredulously under a series of long heaves. Sweat was gleaming slightly on her high forehead, "Didn't you say you were going to the marketplace? It's nearer to Wall Rose is it not?!"

Ida was appalled by her mother's reaction — it was almost as though Elsie was upset that Ida had come back to look for her — but she paid it no mind and picked up her long skirt, grabbing her mother's wrist and pulling her further into the alley, "Mom, we need to leave now!"

"W — Wait!" Elsie stuttered, green eyes going wide when she saw that her daughter was pulling her in the wrong direction. "Wall Rose is in the opposite direction!"

"There's a faster way to Wall Rose through these alleyways!" Ida informed her mother quickly, feeling her legs almost giving away from the physical strain she had put it through for the past hour. "We need to get further into the Walls — not Wall Rose, but Wall Sina! It's safer. Uncle Jaron is there, he would offer us protection—"

"NO!"

The older redhead halted in her sprint abruptly and grabbed onto her daughter's wrist to pull her back. Ida gasped in shock when her mother pulled her back and stared her down — forcing her to look into her eyes — Elsie wanted Ida to know how serious she was.

"We are not going back under any circumstances! Is that clear?!" Elsie screamed at her face. "We are going into hiding immediately when we reach Wall Rose, you will tell no one of your familial connections nor will you will have contact with Jaron!"

"WHY?!" Ida maneuvered herself out her mother's vice-like grip violently, horrified and appalled by her mother's sudden lack of composure — it was so unlike her, Elsie had always kept a level-head. "We have lost everything when the Wall fell! We have no money and neither do we have a home!"

"Now is not the time to argue!" Elsie interjected strongly, deadlocking her eyes into the defiant ones of her teenage daughter. Reaching out to grab Ida's wrist, she continued, "I will find work in the fields, we will make do. For now, we need to get out of here!"

"Fields? All the lands are controlled by nobles!" Ida retorted, the anxiety of everything collecting at the pool of her belly. She was anxious, afraid and most importantly disorientated. She couldn't make out anything that was happening around her and was recklessly taking out her frustrations on her mother, "Where are we supposed to go? Back to my useless father who abandoned us? You're the daughter of a liege lord, a noble! We shouldn't be living this way!"

Elsie had enough with her uncooperative daughter. "Ida! Stop it, please!" She pleaded and roughly grabbed onto her daughter. "One day, I'll explain everything and you will understand, but for now just listen to me!"

Picking up her long skirt, she started to sprint down the alleyway with her daughter in her grasp.

Gritting her teeth, Ida tried to sort out her disorientated mind and allowed herself to be dragged. How can one accept a fate like this? How can one ever accept that they would forever be hunted down like animals because of these monsters?

"Ah!" Just as they were making another turn, Ida tripped over a protruding cobblestone and fell to the ground with a hard bounce. Ida heard her mother yell for her, but she could only groan in agony. The pain from her bruised knees throbbed through her veins as though it was reminding her it was still there.

"Ida!" Elsie shrieked in horror when her daughter's grip slipped from her fingers and she turned around, running to her rescue, "Are you alright?! Get up!"

Ida barely had time to even breathe when Elsie was already wrapping a hand around her arm and hauling her none-too-gently to her feet. She had just rightened herself again when...

A looming shadow. Darkness enveloping them, blocking out the scarlet sky. A chilly feeling creeping down her back. Titan, above, reaching out from them with the vilest of smiles plastered across its grotesque face.

Oh god, no!

Ida could only scream and watch in disbelief when the realization dawned upon her. "NO!" Her own shout of denial made her own blood freeze into slush.

And just like that, in that tiny window of time, before Ida could do anything, Elsie was caught.

"NO! MOTHER!" Ida abruptly got to her feet, trying to reach out to pull her back. Her fingertips brushed Elsie's. Her eyes met with her kind green ones of her mother and the despair residing within her eyes was enough to break Ida's heart. Without any words uttered, Ida knew — her mother understood what was about to happen.

Elsie did not struggle in the Titan's grasp and neither did she look frightened, in fact, it looked as though she had accepted her fate. "Stay safe, Ida."

A smile, a soft warm one, a motherly one and then…

Blood.

The vivid color of roses among a dull background befit of any compassion, crimson and thick. Words left unsaid, emptiness as her only consolation. Horrified, Ida felt her legs move and before she could stop herself, she ran — was it Titan she was running away from or her growing potent emotions, she didn't know.

She wanted to cry, she wanted to scream, and above all Ida wanted to kill every single Titan within a five-mile radius a thousand times over. But she was just a human, a mere insignificant human — what else could she do other than stand by and watch in horror? She had seen strangers fall victim to these mindless animals… but this? This was different.

This was her mother, her flesh and blood.

It was the first time Ida lost someone and she had to watch it agonizingly with her own two eyes.

Elsie was dead now, her mother… Her most beloved mother. She was reduced to nothing more than a pile of flesh on the asphalt in a fallen town. It was on that day that Ida Starke lost everything — her mother, her hometown, her home.

What hurt her the most was that Elsie didn't even deserve the proper burial she deserved and neither did she receive the proper recognition. She was a noblewoman, her family name was supposed to protect her. She was supposed to be safely locked away in Wall Sina. Yet, she died in the hands of a mindless animal ravaging into her flesh. Elsie died, and for what exactly? Nothing.

Elsie Starke died for absolutely nothing.

o o o —x π{Ö}πx — o o o

Each step towards the woman on the wheelchair made her heart pound harder against her ribs but the redhead valiantly pushed past her apprehension and trudged forward resiliently. That woman, she looked so familiar, yet she was foreign to Ida. Could it really be her? Her frame looked so fragile and weak, so weak that Ida was afraid to touch her. She looked as though she would break with a single touch. Her nightgown was baggy and Ida could see the display of sharp bones from her hips and shoulders.

For a moment, Ida could remember how her mother looked before. Healthy, beautiful and strong; when those thoughts only served to bring forth a torrent of emotions that she didn't particularly want to deal with right then, she determinedly pushed her the image of her mother out of her mind.

Elsie was alive and that was all that mattered, this was her mother.

"How… are you alive?" Ida finally managed in a gravelly voice, eyes wide with disbelief sweeping across Elsie's frame. It sounded monumentally stupid even as it left her lips, but she could think of nothing else. "Who did this…? Who did this to you?"

The woman in front of her held her silence, but the apprehension in her eyes was clear.

Disorientated, Ida clumsily stumbled closer to her and she saw that Elsie's long bony fingers were shivering and her gaze was cast somewhere else. "I thought...you were dead…"

Her feet felt like they were filled with lead, but Ida took one careful step forward, then another. She forced herself to move until she was standing at the center of the room, facing her handicapped mother in a wheelchair. She stared blankly at Elsie again, as if trying to ensure that her eyes weren't playing tricks on her. Ida didn't know what to feel now, there were just too many questions that had been unanswered for too long.

Slowly, Ida's stare hardened when the silence Elsie was adamant about keeping continued. Betrayed was the first word that came to her mind, her mother was alive for all these years, yet she had assumed her to be dead all along. Couldn't Elsie come looking for her? Didn't she miss her daughter? Why wouldn't she say anything? Wasn't she happy to see her?

"Say something…" Not a suggestion, but a demand.

"J — Jaron…" Were Elsie's first words; stuttering words that held a great amount of fear. Yet her eyes held a sense of recognition in it like she had discovered something drastic.

Ida saw her fingernails digging into the cushion of her wheelchair.

"Where is your uncle? Jaron! Where the hell are you?!" Elsie screamed towards the close door. Her voice sounded hoarse and cracked like she hadn't drunk for days. "We had a promise you fucking bastard!"

Ida swooped in and grabbed her panicking mother by her shoulders to calm her down — what happened to her? How on earth did she end up this way? Elsie never looked this way before, in fact, her frightened reaction was enough to send Ida's somewhat calm composure cracking.

Forcing Elsie to look at into her eyes, she screamed in exasperation for answers, "Mother! Look at me! Why are you here?! How long have you been kept in here?!"

"Y — You can't be here…" Elsie murmured distractedly, her anxious gaze still fixated the close door. Based on how she looked, Ida could tell that she was praying that Jaron would enter. But when the door still remained closed, Elsie grabbed onto Ida's hands with shivering fingers, finally having eye-contact with her. "You have to leave…! You can't stay here!"

Ida tightened her grip on Elsie. "Listen to me, mom!" she demanded. Exasperated over how her mother was still hell-bent on avoiding her questions, she raised her voice, "How long have you been kept in here?!"

She saw her mother's eyes water and Ida caught onto the hesitation before Elsie gave her a vague reply. "…Ever since the Wall Maria fell…"

Recognition struck Ida hard — five years, it had been five years since Wall Maria fell. The bangs of her scarlet hair covered her eyes and she felt her anger tightening her chest. Ida worked the muscles in her jaw as she digested this startling piece of information.

"He did this to you… didn't he?" The words cut through Ida's throat, leaving painful splinters as she continued. "…Jaron did this to you…"

It was easy to put a word to this intense feeling Ida was feeling right now — rage, vengeance, malevolent anger — yes, it was easy to describe it but containing it was a whole different story.

"No!" Elsie grabbed onto her daughter before she could storm out of the door — with the way Elsie looked, Ida knew that her mother had a brief idea of what she was about to do. "You can't fight him!" Elsie warned. "P — Please just run away and leave me here!"

Horror flashed across her face, Ida was finding it hard to contain everything. Her chest felt so tight and she was so sure it was going to explode at any moment. "He did this to you!" Ida retaliated, shaking as the anger piled up within her. "Keeping you locked up in here as a hostage for years! Why?! Why are you still protecting him?!"

"You don't understand, Ida!" Elsie shook her head, her importing eyes glistening with unshed tears and hoping that Ida would see the truth in them. "Jaron isn't someone you can easily takedown… You have to run! Leave me and run!"

'You don't understand' — those words alone were enough to bring down an avalanche of bittersweet memories upon her. It was one of Elsie's favorite explanations whenever Ida asked a question she didn't particularly want to answer. However, awhile it might have worked on Ida when she was a child, Ida Starke was no longer a child now and she refused to be kept in the dark again.

"Then make me understand!" Ida cried in agitation. "I will not leave this place without you!" She was finally recovering from the after-effects of the shocking events, and in its place, an unquenchable rage for vengeance awaken. "Why is he doing this to you?! To me?! What does he want from us?!"

Elsie kept silent, looking away as a sign of refusal to answer her daughter's questions. Ida could recall that look — Elsie was hiding something; something that she would rather not let her know.

Realization sunk in faster than she could prepare herself, "…Mother…. About the Titans... You know about them…"

It was at that word 'Titan' did she saw Elsie's eyes widen momentarily for a brief second and with a hitched breath, Ida continued to press on. "You know, don't you?"

Silence once again, but it only proved to confirm Ida's suspicions.

She lunged forward to grab her mother. "Tell me! What do you know?!" Ida demanded harshly, her voice more serious this time around. "What does Jaron want to do? How does it all link to the Reiss family?!"

"How did you know about the Reiss family?" Elsie finally echoed with surprise, snapping her head up to look at Ida.

A slip of tongue — Ida briefly saw the furrow in Elsie's brows.

Much to Elsie's dismay, her daughter had cleverly taken notice of her slip up.

Ida took a small horrifying step back, dismayed by the turn of events." You know about the true Royal family as well…"

"It doesn't matter what I know," Elsie recovered quickly, sounding very defensive as she straightened her posture. "Let me speak with your uncle, I'll negotiate for your release."

"Negotiate?" Ida scoffed in disbelief. "How can we even negotiate for my release when you can't even free yourself?" She pointed out bitterly with a furrow to her brow.

When Elsie did not answer her again, Ida opted to plead imploringly for answers. "Mom, tell me. What's Jaron up to? The Titans, what do you know about them?"

A hesitant pause, a moment of thought, before Elsie faced her daughter again, "…There are certain things in this world where it's better to be left unsaid."

A warning, not a piece of advice, Ida surmised. Elsie's gaze hardened unyielding and she swung her head away, "Curiosity kills and by the time you realize it — it would be too late for you to pull yourself out of this mess."

"Why?!" Ida demanded hotly, she couldn't comprehend why Elsie was refusing to answer her questions. Why was she so adamant about keeping silent. After all that her vicious brother had done to her, Ida simply couldn't understand why. "Listen to me, I know about our family ties to the Wall Cult. Surely, there's a way to get rid of the Titans! Mom, you could save humanity," Ida interlocked her fingers with her mother's assuringly. "We could save humanity. I'm your daughter, you can trust me. I want to know the truth about this world! If you have any information—"

"There is no way!"

Ida's eyes widen with shock at Elsie's sudden uncharacteristic outburst. She stared at her mother blankly, "What?"

"You want the truth? You want to know?!" Elsie continued loudly with clenched fists, almost breaking at this point. The words spilled out of her crack lips in a somber reply before Ida could mentally prepare herself. "No matter how many Titans humanity kill… No… No matter what we do! We will always be condemned to live within these Walls! There is no way to escape it, Ida!"

o o o —x π{Ö}πx — o o o

Blood-curdling screams filled the night air.

Chilly, Erwin Smith thought, the north of the walls had always been significantly colder. The screams of the tortured nobles from the courtyard send another chill down his spine. He moved around his men was an air of collectedness and confidence, yet deep down loomed a disconcerting feeling that he can't seem to shake off. Dot Pixis came towards him, both hands clasped behind his back.

"Everyone from the Royal Administrative section just said the same thing," he announced with a loud exhale.

"That we will lose our memories soon enough?" Erwin mused with an entertained smirk, entering into one of the rooms. "So it seems that the Royal family can indeed alter memories." He smoothed the creases on the sprawled out map on the table. "We need to strike fast then."

Pixis followed in shortly after, closing the door behind him. "Even if we were to get our hands on Eren, there is no saying that we will obtain the important information about the Titans from the Royal Family," he concluded with a small idle shrug and took a seat.

"I already have something planned for that." Erwin countered dryly with a disturbed furrow — the truth was he wasn't too sure of the success of his plans. "The Walls is like just a battlefield and even now, our opponents of powerful. If we just focused on attacking, we will never be able to defend. Yet even with that said, we know almost nothing of our enemies' ability. When the time comes, we must take big risks and be prepared to lose everything."

Dot Pixis looked conflicted by his statements, but in a brief moment, all traces of doubt were gone.

"How so?" He lifted a thin brow at Erwin's intriguing words.

"Working both ways," Erwin answered, which made Pixis's eyebrows shoot up. The blonde commander frowned and gestured towards the map before explaining himself, "We'd have to rally our forces. Attack while deploying spies to gather information to use the enemy's strength against them. In truth, we do know how the enemy numbers, nor their true strength."

Erwin was instantly and vividly reminded of the terrifying wrath of the Titan shifters — god forbid should that happen again. An eerie feeling rose within him when Erwin remembered just how the fight between Annie and Eren nearly destroyed Wall Sina. Considering the fact that monarchy was after Eren, Erwin could only assume that they had other Titan shifters among their people as well.

"Pixis…" Erwin sighed loudly, casting a wary look in his direction. "You shouldn't put your faith in me."

Dot Pixis smiled, his hands reaching for his silver flask containing the wine he loved so much. He shook his head and chuckled. "You should've warned me about that when you were convincing me to stand by you against the monarchy just a few days ago..." He let out another long chuckle and he continued, "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"I can't protect anyone," Erwin admitted shamefully in a monotone.

"What do you mean by that?"

Pixis turned his eyes over to Erwin, who was still looking over at the map and had a very disconcerting expression on his face. "Meaning a whole lot of people will die in the upcoming war Pixis," Erwin clarified, hoping that would help him grasp the severity of their precarious situation. "Your men, my men, good and brave men — I can't protect them."

"Oh?" Pixis took a long gulp from his flask and smirked amusedly as he raised a brow. "I thought you knew the heavy responsibilities your role carries by now. Casualties are inevitable, Erwin. You yourself know that better than anyone, don't you?"

Erwin kept his silence and continued marking the brown parchment map with his quill. Pixis allowed his stare to linger longer on his long-time friend before he peeled his eyes away. He could practically see the dark cloud hanging over Erwin's head as he busied himself with work and with a loud sigh, he spoke up to grab his attention.

"Is this about her?" Pixis said quickly, finally breaching the subject he had been so hesitant to bring up. Erwin froze and turned to look at the garrison commander with raised eyebrows. "Ida was sent to the Starke mansion where Lord Jaron is…" He continued. "When you meant spies just now, you were talking about her, right?"

A blank look, Pixis tried to decipher Erwin's stone expression but he found nothing. "Yes." The blonde confirmed gravelly.

"Even I have to admit. I'm surprised you're capable of doing something like that…" Pixis hummed. He shrugged idly when Erwin threw him a scathing look as a warning. He took another gulp of his liquor, "…It wasn't your idea was it?"

"Does it matter?" Erwin countered pointedly in a monotone devoid of any emotions. "She's gone."

Pixis thought over his friend enigmatic response for a moment and gave a small dry laugh, "No. No, it does not."

Erwin took his cloak hanging from his chair and fastening it around his neck. The green cloak of the survey corps — their crowning glory. Pixis eyed his friend for a little longer. "But tell me, it was Ida's idea to go to the Jaron Starke wasn't it?"

"You have been asking a lot of questions lately," Erwin retorted icily and stared at his friend. Pixis gave him a small feeble smile that spoke volumes and Erwin's frown deepened.

"Yes, it was her idea. I consented to it." He conceded reluctantly.

"You should've stopped her." Pixis pointed out sharply before he could stop himself.

Erwin sucked in a deep breath and then let it out slowly, eyeing the map again with a troubled look on his face. He was quiet for so long that Pixis didn't think he was going to say anything in return, but after a few moments, he finally responded.

"I did what I have to," He informed him in a matter-of-factly way. "Ida was the only one who could get infiltrate Lord Jaron's army without any casualties. It had to be her. If we just charge without knowing what the full strength of our enemies are and if they possess another Titan Shifter? We'd end up losing men by the hundreds. Ida could easily obtain the much-needed information that could save many. I made a choice, Pixis. The right choice."

Pixis sucked on the opening on the bottle and wiped the red burgundy wine dribbling down his chin with his hand when he was done. "And if that infiltration fails, you'd lose her." He pointed out direly, discontented by the circumstances.

"Better losing one person than hundreds," Erwin interjected defensively with clenched fists, starting to get irritated by the judgment residing in his friend's eyes. "She's a member of the Survey Corps, it's her duty to devote her life to preserving mankind. If she should fall, so be it."

"Gambling again as usual…" Dot Pixis clicked his tongue disapprovingly and continued calmly as though Erwin never interjected in the first place. "…Are you ready to lose it all, Erwin? Even her?"

Erwin looked away, "Yes."

Pixis had caught on that brief moment of hesitation with Erwin's simple reply, but he said nothing of it. Erwin snapped his head away.

"Like you, I value humanity above everything else, even more than myself," Erwin explained, blue eyes hollow. It was a blatant lie, but it was one he needed to tell himself. "Building our forces will be more practical, but it requires time and finances and even with that there's a high chance that we could lose everything. We will support Levi and the rest on an operation to retrieve back Historia and Eren and Ida will strike from within. It's a safer bet this way."

A few rhythmic taps on the wooden desk that Pixis was sure held certain irritability in them and Erwin abruptly turned his heel and exited the room in a confident stride; posture straight, shoulders straight, eyes firm — like the condescending heartless commander he was. Erwin wasted no time in busying himself with disturbing orders to the men outside.

The Garrison commander could only sigh as he took another long gulp of alcohol.

This might have been the biggest challenge yet for Erwin, he knew. Not many could willingly risk the life the only family they had in a blink of an eye. It required a cold heart, a dead one even. But Pixis knew that Erwin's heart was anything but dead — he had observed the pride in his eyes when he looked at his daughter, he saw the love and concern that he had for his comrades.

Pixis had been a silent witness to the true Erwin Smith all these years. He was not the calculating cold-hearted vicious commander that would send his man heartlessly to their early graves as many would have thought him to be, in fact, things were much more complicated than that.

Pixis silently understood that it was one thing to put your men at risk, but however, it was another to throw your own flesh and blood into a pit of vipers. He lamented over how things had turned out. It must be hard on him, Pixis thought sympathetically. How could one ever make a choice like this?

Even though Pixis knew that Erwin was doing all the right things for humanity and was certainly doing his job as the commander of Survey Corps by protecting his men, his conscience had been nagging at him for the past hour ever since he heard Ida Starke was with her uncle. Perhaps he shouldn't put so much pressure on Erwin after all — asking a father to sacrifice his daughter was just too much, even for a strong person like him to bear. Erwin Smith had the world on the shoulders, everyone was counting on him — yet many tend to forget just how painful and lonely that role is.

No, he shook his head, now is not that time for this. This not the time for regrets or sympathy.

Shoving all the thoughts to the back of his head, Pixis busied himself by studying the map that Erwin had marked strategically. Still, he couldn't help but wonder secretly how Erwin could do it and for once, he wondered if Erwin's heart had truly died with Elsie and his comrades after all.

o o o —x π{Ö}πx — o o o

Click.

The sounds of the door opening brought Seth back to reality. Sliding away from the brick wall he had propped himself on, he quickly advanced towards Ida coming out from the room.

"We're leaving soon," he announced with a small smile, but he was faced with a stone silence as a response.

Seth felt a jab of nervousness sting his sides when he saw just how rigid Ida looked — in all honestly, he had expected her to be a mess by now.

"Here," he said awkwardly, not knowing what else to say and handed a tiny bag towards her, filled with a wide assortment of candies. "I got them for you when I heard you were coming—"

THWACK!

The hard-boiled candies spilled from the sachet and scattered on the floor noisily when Ida ruthlessly slapped the sachet out of Seth's hands. Calmly, Seth turned and stared at her impassively as he took in her glare filled with nothing but self-loathing and hatred. Her nostrils were flaring, her hands were shaking, and a thin veil of shimmering tears clouded her rage infused glower.

He smirked, now this was the Ida Starke he knew.

"You know what this means, right?" All of a sudden, all traces of warmness disappeared from Seth's tone, leaving nothing but coldness and bitterness.

"Allowing me to meet my mother who I've thought was dead for years…" Ida narrated in a strained voice and then she softly laughed sardonically at her situation. "…This is just simply Jaron's way of forcing me to cooperate with him…" She paused as if to calm her rage and through gritted teeth she finished with a malicious hiss, "…By holding my mother hostage."

"So stop fighting me," Seth told her, pinning her down with a formidable glare of his own. It was more of a warning than a suggestion. "We're allies now, working on the same side. Learn to cooperate."

"Allies?" Ida echoed half-heartedly before letting out a sharp scoff of disbelief — just being here with Seth again was making all sorts of haunting memories come rushing back to her, none of which were making her feel any better about the situation she was currently in. Softly, she added, "I was allied with you once, Seth. We were together, remember?"

Ida's new approach made Seth frown at her in confusion — what was she playing at?

"I remember it just like it was just yesterday..." he admitted ruefully with a heavy heart. "When we were together."

She regarded him with a sad smile that had his throat closing up. "And where has that gotten me? Betrayed, twice. You had witnessed my suffering after my mother's death, you knew how much I desired to see her again, and yet… All these years even after you fled from the Underground City and left me… You watched as my mother suffer, locked in a tiny room by my wretched uncle…"

Ida closed her eyes momentarily — why did it hurt so much? She couldn't understand.

Seth's betrayal was obvious and she had accepted it years ago, so why did she feel this way? Maybe it was because she never thought Seth would betray her to this extent or maybe, just maybe she had hoped that a small part of the man she knew in the past still existed somewhere deep down. This pain she was feeling was too hard to comprehend.

"You have no right to speak to me about being allies, for surely you know nothing about that," she spat in a mixture of hurt and contempt.

Seth chuckled and smirked at her comment, "Regardless, you will cooperate now right?"

Ida stared at him, trying to decipher just who was this foreign man in front of her. "You feel no remorse do you?" she asked in wonder. "For what you did to me? For what you're doing to me now? Did I really mean that little to you?"

Much to her surprise, Seth reacted angrily, like he was almost offended by her remark, "I have made mistakes but that doesn't change the wrongs you have done or the grief you have caused others!"

"And what wrong have I done?!" Ida argued back in exasperation, shaking. She was angry — not at Seth, but herself, she was angry that she couldn't do anything to save herself. Ida Starke was angry at how helpless she was. "My only sin was to be born with this family name!"

Seth gritted his teeth, "That is your sin to repent, but what you don't fucking understand is that you're a plague that brings others to their demise! A harbinger of death! What about back that day when you told me to go back?! To protect them and—"

"Stop it, I warn you." Ida hissed back and snapped her head away, fingernails digging into the palm of her hand when her fist curls into tight balls — she didn't want to talk about it, she didn't want to remember.

Seth scoffed and looked away, looking like he was deep in thought before Ida's acidic voice pulled his attention back at her, "I don't understand how you can do this, how you justify your actions deep in your heart, in your soul… The terrible things that you do for self-preservation… How you could so easily step on the corpses of your loved ones and friends just so you can get to your throne."

"Living requires that your hands be drenched in blood!" Seth hollered back, pinning her down with a glare and stalking up to her in a hostile confrontational manner. He was taking out everything on her; his frustrations, his regrets, his pain. "You, who have led so many to their destruction, know it. You're not better than me — and I'm sick to death of you pretending otherwise! You can't expect to live in this world and not have any blood on your hands!"

"The difference between us is that I'd never do this to someone I care about — not my family, not my friends… and certainly not to a person who was once the world to me." Ida glared at him for a moment longer, desperately clinging onto the last bit of composure she had. "Tell Jaron — I'd get prepared to leave, I'd obey to any of his demands, all I ask is for my mother's safety. That's what you want, isn't it? Fine, you win. Have your throne."

Knocking onto his shoulders, Ida pushed past him without saying a word and bolted down the stairs.

Seth watched her go agonizingly.

How did they end up like this? He wondered. How could they have fallen so far from what they used to be? He shouldn't have said those things to her, he should've done something to hold her back, to even explain himself. But he was just too frustrated, too hurt.

"Why…" He asked out loud, still looking at her retreating back. "Why does it always seem that you're walking away from me, Ida? Why can't you just stay?"

Keep moving, Ida told herself, trying to stay together. Soon enough, she reached the long-isolated corridor and slammed her back towards the brick wall.

Finally, she was alone.

She needed time to think.

But her mind was a blur, no matter how hard Ida had tried to weigh out her options, she couldn't. What was she supposed to do now? Ida tried to skim through the possibilities but her mind was completely blank.

Ida could feel the emotional weight of everything that had happened in the last hours slowly creeping into her and soon enough she felt her legs give way as she slid off the wall and onto the ground. Ida was trying so hard to maintain her composure when she left the room to face Seth, but now that she was alone, there was no need for that anymore.

Ida Starke was herself when she was alone. No pretense, no lies, no sardonic remarks to hide her bleeding heart. She was lost in her own pool of judgment, her brain seemingly split in half — lost in the battle lines she had drawn inside her head.

Ida had just effectively declared war with herself.

Biting into her lips and drawing blood, she dug her nails into her thighs and tilted her head to the ceiling.

"Levi… What should I do now..?" She questioned hoarsely, the first coherent words popping in her mind.

Ida knew for sure that he would know, Levi Ackerman was never confused or lost — he wouldn't be as pathetic as she was now. But as she turned her head lifelessly beside her, Ida realized he wasn't there beside her anymore. She was facing this dilemma alone and he was no longer here to advise her.

The extent of her imminent loneliness consumed her in the dark corridor and reality hit her hard just as a lone single tear slid off her bottom lashes. Confusion and despair ravaged her.

Just what was she supposed to do now?

Alone, terrified and lost. Ida Starke was torn between two options; being a filial daughter and satisfying her own greed or selflessly sacrificing her mother for the good of humanity.

Now, how could one ever make such a decision? How could one ever cope with such a dilemma?

The only plausible solution is; you don't.

In truth, added with that fact Ida was immensely disheartened by her mother's confirmation that there was no way that humanity could ever be free again, she was on the brink of cracking. Was Elsie lying? Ida didn't know, but to hear it coming out from her mother's lips was enough. Sadly, Ida realized she didn't know what she was fighting for anymore. Freedom had once been her goal, but that too was stripped away from her.

In fact, everything stripped away from her. Her choices, her fate, her dreams, her love and even herself. Everything about her was in other's hands, did she really have to accept that her existence means nothing to her?

Could she betray her father, her friends, and Levi? Could she stomach the guilt afterward? Could she really be this selfish? She didn't know. Ida understood that the lives of soldiers depended on her now. Any valuable information that she could manage to obtain would be crucial for her fellow soldiers. Ida was instantly reminded of the expedition with the female Titan and she had learned from past experiences that any information of the enemy's power would be crucial in preparing a counterattack — Levi was depending on her.

Ida clawed onto the chest when his face came into view in her mind, aching desperately for his company and advice, but he was no longer here. It was only then did Ida discover that a part of her was left behind when she left Levi, she was not complete anymore. In her disoriented state, she could only sit there and cry, too out of it to comprehend what was happening around her.

"Help me, Levi…" She begged, closing her eyes and allowing her emotions to fully consume her.

She was alone and at one point in time, Ida had thought it was better to be alone. But people change and she did.

However, Ida Starke was not alone in that corridor as she thought she was. A shadow loomed around the corner, listening to everything she had said and with each second he stood there, his fist clenched tighter. Seth grimaced and turned his heel, deciding to leave Ida as she is.

He had come to comfort her, finding his words too harsh back then and had come to apologize, to find peace with her perhaps — he wanted to reconcile with her, to tell her the truth of everything. All Seth ever wanted to be by her side. But it was too late. He was two years too late.

Ida Starke, the woman he loved, now depended on another.

Seth no longer held that spot beside the woman he loved.

Why was he a private soldier of Jaron Starke and why was she a soldier of the Survey corps? Why was she born a noble and he a commoner? Why did he hold onto his love for her awhile she moved on? Fate was just too cruel to them.

Fate was simply far too cruel.

o o o —x π{Ö}πx — o o o

The sounds of sewage water dripping echoed and vibrated through the tunnels.

Armin Arlert studied his surroundings curiously, occasionally peering at his other superior Hanji Zoe for answers. But she too, looked just as confused as the rest of the squad. "Captain, this is…?" he asked meekly. Though Levi Ackerman had been on edge lately, Armin found the strong surge desire to question far too strong to deny.

Levi Ackerman said nothing and continued on with his confident stride at the head of the group.

Jean nudged Sasha by the ribs, softly hissing. "Why are we here?"

The brunette shrugged idly in response, pursing her lips. "I don't know either," She admitted. "All that was on the letter was the word 'light', no other further instruction was given."

"Just shut up and wait," Levi's stern voice sounded from in front, as cool as ice. He just about had enough of the younger squad mates soft questioning behind him and his agitation was growing by the second. In fact, he found himself more prone to aggravation nowadays. His narrowed down grey eyes skimmed his surroundings, scanning through the different underground tunnels.

"Oi Levi, why are we here?" It was Hanji Zoe's turn to finally ask, perplexed by the events transpiring. She was no doubt uncomfortable by the intricate maze of the underground tunnels — they couldn't afford to get lost now.

Levi scoffed and pulled the black hood shielding his face down. His cloak was sable, thick and soft as sin. "Most of the openings from the underground to the upper Walls were closed off, apart from the usual route of staircase entrance to the underground tunnels," he informed. Hanji Zoe arched a brow and Levi gestured to the end of the tunnel before explaining himself, "…But there are a few places, here for example, with openings to the world above."

Light.

Sunlight to be exact. Hanji had to squint her eyes when they finally reached the end tunnel. Being in the underground city had made her eyes sensitive to the sudden light. "So, this was what she meant by 'light'." Hanji echoed, blinking her eyes to recoup to the blinding light. She carefully balanced herself on the rocky terrain and she scanned the large hole above the sewage tunnels, "How did you know she was talking about this place, though?"

Levi said nothing for a while, squinting his eyes as he looked upon the bright sunlight pouring down from the large hole, chasing away the darkness that plagued the underground city. Just below it, a large pool of water had collected from the rainfall.

With a sigh, he vaguely replied, "I just do."

The rest of his squad couldn't fathom how Levi possibly made the connection, after all, Ida's letter had left little to no interpretation on what it actually meant. Levi, however, knew better than that. It was Ida's way of ensuring that even if that letter were to fall into the wrong hands, only he would be able to understand it.

He remembered their past conversations as Ida shared on her life back when she lived in the underground city. He recalled how she enthusiastically spoke of her favorite spot, the only place where 'light' shone down on the dark city — "Water from the rain above collected below it, almost like a small lake," she had said. "It's beautiful. It's the only place where I felt at peace in the underground."

Levi stiffened at that memory and quickly made work to push it towards the back of his mind. It was the only way he could keep his sanity and rage at bay. But his will to keep his composure did little to help, and the Captain found his heart clenching down hard.

It wasn't only the memory of Ida Starke that disturbed him, it was the entire place itself that made him uneasy. This was Isabel Magnolia's favorite spot as well. Being here reminded him of his friends in the underground — they reminded of him of the people who left this world far too early. He recalled how Isabel would beg to come here, how Farlan and him would sit by the water and watch the birds fly from the little hole that was the epitome of the surface world to them, speaking and dreaming of freedom. Truth was, it had been one of his favorite places as well, but as time changes people like a spinning wheel, the fondness had long evolved into resentment. Levi hated being here with every inch of his being and wanted nothing more than to get out as soon as possible.

The guilt was gnawing into him little by little as he drowned in the bittersweet memories of people who were no longer here. He wondered for a moment if Ida were to die and join Isabel and Farlan in the afterlife, what would he do then? Levi tightened his jaw and pushed that jarring thought away quickly.

That wouldn't happen, she's far too strong, Levi assured himself silently. Though it sounded half-hearted even to himself.

Distantly, he heard the sounds of approaching footsteps and in unison, the entire squad turned their heel abruptly and went on full alert, hands on their weapons as a precaution. For a few tense seconds, they waited to see if something was about to emerge from the dark sewage alleys.

"I apologize for my tardiness," a well-dressed man appeared and smiled politely. "I didn't mean to startle you."

At that, Levi nodded towards his squad to back down. Jumping off the tall rock he was on, he stationed himself right in front of the visitor with an aura of condescending intimidation, "Who the hell are you?"

"Edward Faust." Edward cocked his head, surveying Levi with bored impatience as he played with the jewels on his fat fingers. "I'm a friend of Ida Starke," he told him with an amused smirk.

Levi scowled, "Where is she?"

"Gone, as always. That woman is always on the run," Edward replied simply with a preening little tilt of his head. "In any case, I'm here as an ally, with valuable information of course," he raised his brow when he saw that Levi still had his hand rested on the handle blades of his swords.

"I'd be glad to keep my head while we remain..." He paused and twisted his lips to a cheeky smile. "Friends..."

"You can keep your fucking head if you answer my damn questions. Where the hell is she?" Levi demanded once again, quickly deciding that he did not like the odd man. There was just something about him that made Levi distrust him. Perhaps it was the way he talked or his blatant ostentatious way of dressing.

Edward held onto his smile despite the animosity from Levi, trying to think of the best way to answer — he didn't feel comfortable around the infamous Captain, nor did he particularly feel safe. Levi expected some sort of answer, however, and Edward didn't feel like he was in the position to refuse.

"Not here, of course…" he finally answered with just the right amount of vagueness. He smirked when he saw Levi's scowl deepened, "She went to see her beloved uncle, surely you must have known this by now."

Hanji peered at Levi when she heard this and found herself faced with a silent stoic man. The squad was whispering to themselves behind her, listening inventively to the conversation. She frowned as she observed Edward, finding herself strangely uncomfortable with his presence.

Edward had proved to be quicker in deciphering things than he was on those fat legs of his. "I suppose you didn't know about that." He arched a brow when Levi glared at him and gave a dry chuckle, "Well… She does have a habit of doing things her own way."

"Shut up," Levi scorned taking it as a personal insult. He had been Ida's closest confidante all these while but he knew nothing of her plans, only suspicions that Hanji had derived on. He was frustrated at her, at everything and especially at himself. "And what is this damn valuable information that you have that brat had to drag me all the way to this shitty place?" He sneered, not hiding the contempt he was feeling.

"The royal family has people stationed all around," he countered pointedly, narrowing his eyes at him. "The walls have ears, especially after you brutally committed murder on the streets of Wall Sina in broad daylight." Edward reasoned firmly, though there was a slight mocking edge to it which left Levi brimming with anger. "It's safer here, I'm at a risk when it's seen that I'm conspiring with rebels."

"We have successfully overthrown with the previous monarchy," Hanji interrupted. "We are not rebels, we've been pardoned."

"Ah yes, the victor determines everything." Edward mused. "Then do tell me why you have cloaks on and are traveling incognito, ma'am. Surely you know that awhile the military was successful in uprooting the previous government, they still have many allies within the Walls and it's not to say that we are certain the civilians would choose to side with the new regime. So yes ma'am, it is still a risk, one I am putting myself in."

"Then why take the risk? Why conspire with us?" Hanji challenged bravely. She shuffled on her feet in apprehension, debating if this strange man was trustworthy. Levi observed that the four-eyed freak was serious for once — she, like him, did not trust Edward at all.

Edward's lips tighten into a thin line, uncomfortable by the hostility. "I owe a debt to her, sadly." He admitted ruefully with a small smile. He took a small slip of paper, from the pocket of his coat, clamping it between his fingers and holding it up for Levi to see. "This is the first of many letters," he announced.

"Letters?" Armin echoed for clarification.

"Ida Starke has arrived at the mansion and has been taken prisoner as planned. She will work from inside, gaining information," he smiled when he saw Levi and his group had a similar look of surprise as they exchanged disturbed glances with one and another. "My role in this whole plot of hers is to relay them to you," he elaborated.

Levi snatched the paper from Edward, scanning it. This is Ida's handwriting, he thought inwardly, recognizing the cursive scribble. He snapped his head up and demanded, "And how will she do manage to do this when she's has been fucking taken as a prisoner?"

"Leave that worrying part to me, Captain." Edward had a rueful smile, as though there was something amusing to him that he was not willing to reveal. "After all, Ida and I had worked together for many years. You'd find it best to not belittle her," he trailed off, before adding, "…or me."

"Tch," Levi clicked his tongue irritably, not liking how everything was turning out. "So what? We've to wait in this stinking shitty dump while your little rats gather more information?" he questioned fiercely with a fearsome snarl, "We don't have the fucking time for that."

"Titans will wait for no one." Mikasa agreed readily with a rigid nod. And our enemies won't too, she knew — any moment they wasted meant the risk of losing Eren altogether.

"Yet it is all that we can do for now," Edward retorted smoothly, pressing out the lines on his coat. "I have a residence where you can take a roof for tonight."

"We'd find our own roof for tonight," Levi countered icily, continuing to regard him with wary, untrusting eyes.

"The previous monarchy's dogs are everywhere, Captain. It's not safe here." Edward reasoned firmly. "Why don't you take a look at it the place first?" he suggested, though it sounded more like a command than a request.

The man did not wait for a reply before he spun around and headed toward one of the sewage. Jean waited for the command of Levi, who gave out a loud scoff before he brusquely nodded as a sign to proceed.

"Do you trust him?" Hanji asked softly beside him.

Levi let out a deep breath, his eyes glaring daggers onto Edward's back. "Fuck no," he spat, which made Hanji raised a brow before he clarified himself, "But I trust Ida's judgment. We've no choice but to trust that shitty fat guy as well."

o o o —x π{Ö}πx — o o o

"Fucking hells," Levi cursed, swiping his finger on the dusty table. He crinkled his nose in disgust when he saw that his finger was caked in dust.

Connie sighed audibly, shaking his head when he saw his squad leader's expression. Beside him, Jean sighed loudly as well. "You know what's going to happen, right?" Connie asked his friend beside him with a somber expression.

Jean ruffled his hair in frustration, "Cleaning? Even now at a time like this?" He shook his head disapprovingly, sighed, before nudging his friend. "Better get to work then."

Much to his surprise, Levi didn't have to give the command as half of the squad had already set out to tidy up the place. He scanned the murky, damp and dark apartment that Edward had showed them with contempt and disapproval. It was worn with age, caked with dust and cobwebs — no doubt the owner of this place had abandoned it long ago.

"It'd be an appropriate hideout," Edward had told them when they arrived. The apartment was hidden deep within the intricate underground alleyways, locked away with a solid lock. Edward took out a key from his pocket and unlocked the lock on the door, "The owner's long gone, it should be safe to stay here for the night while you wait for orders from the headquarters. It's dingy and small, but it'd do."

Edward wasn't exaggerating when he said that the owner was long gone — there still were, however, items belonging to the previous owners in the apartment. Little bits of memories here and there, like their presence, were still lingering about. The walls were grey, with streaks of black across the wall as mold from the damp nights begun to seep in. The furniture was rotting; stained with lichen and the curtains hanged limp and moth-eaten. The entire place felt still, heavy with expectation and foreboding as they waited for some form of life form to creak across the wooden floorboard. They were, however, the only form of life in that room.

Expect for a small window on the balcony, the whole apartment was shrouded in darkness. The place gave him a sense of chill and he couldn't seem to shake off this eerie feeling. Levi picked up a worn-out brown cloak on the floor, coughing when a pile of dust scattered into the air when he tried to dust it. He noticed the dried blood patch on the cloak, oxidized into a ruddy color with age.

Shaking his head, he frowned and threw the cloak aside. Picking up a rag, Levi went over to the dirty table to submerge himself in cleaning. But his short-lived sense of peace disappeared just as it fast as it came when he heard Jean's voice echoing from the other end of the room, "Oh, there's still portraits here?"

"Wait, doesn't that look like Ida-san?" Connie questioned, eyes ablaze with confusion.

At that name, Levi felt his entire body stiffen and he halted in his cleaning abruptly, intently listening onto the conversation happening just across the room.

Hanji blinked before she scurried over to Connie. "What?" Snatching the dusty picture frame, she began to inspect it. Wide-eyed, she used her fingers to clean off the remaining dust on the picture. "Gods, it's really her," she said in awe. "Where did you find this?"

"In one of the cupboards, it was stashed inside along with other portraits…" Connie told her. "Jean, could you take out the others?"

Jean nodded understandingly before opening the cupboards and taking out the others and placing it onto the table where Levi was at. "Are you sure it is her?" he asked.

"No doubt," Hanji answered. "There aren't many with such vivid scarlet hair."

"She looks so different," Connie nodded in agreement when he peered at one of the picture frames. Ida Starke, who Connie had come to a conclusion had no other expression other than scowl, was actually smiling. "Who's that?"

Levi, unable to contain his curiosity walked over to the other end of the table where the rest were and peered at the picture frame Connie was holding. It was Ida, no doubt of it. Her scarlet hair was longer; much longer than when she came into the Survey Corps and she was smiling beautifully. Levi felt his chest tightened — that smile looked so genuine. Ida looked so happy. She was crouched down, arms wrapped around two kids, one who looked no older than ten and another seven. They had smiles plastered on their faces too.

"She had a kid?" Jean raised a brow and questioned in complete surprise.

Hanji shook her head with a tight lip. "They aren't hers. She was sixteen when the wall fell… There's no way those kids can be hers, they are too old," she deduced cleverly.

"Well, they are in a lot of portraits together." Connie pointed out, gesturing to the other portraits. "Must have cost her a fortune to have these drawn and painted."

Levi lifted his head and saw that Connie was speaking the truth, most of the portraits included the trio together, two brown-haired kids and a gleaming Ida together with them.

"It looks like she took care of them…" Jean added. Now, this certainly surprised him. Who would have thought? That crass redhead did not look like someone who would do something like this and take in two kids — especially two that weren't her own.

"But why are these here?" Hanji asked for clarification, but the two younger squad members look at her when the same mixed expression of surprise and confusion. The bespectacled brunette turned to look at Levi instead, figuring he would know the answer.

His disturbed frown was immediate. "You can't figure it out?" Levi spat dully when he felt her gaze. "She lived here. This was her shitty apartment back in when she still lived in the underground. This is her house."

Looks of similar surprised flashed on their faces when Levi said that, for a while, no words were exchanged. Jean and Connie were surprised that Ida had once lived in such pathetic conditions. Even Hanji stayed quiet, wondering why Ida never came back to retrieve her items when she joined the Survey Corps more than a year ago.

"…That guy."

Connie looked up at attention, and Hanji elaborated as she picked up another picture. "He's in a lot of the portraits as well. They look close."

Levi snatched the portrait from Hanji in annoyance — he was nowhere near comfortable with any topic relating to Ida now. But what he has seen had his blood boiling; Ida and a brown-haired man with a large scar across his face were posing to get their portrait drawn and the two kids were seated in front of them. They looked like a family, a happy family.

Levi wondered if this would've been her life if he hadn't forced her to join the Survey Corps — happy, safe, with a loving family by her side. It was a life that he could not offer her, a life that he felt responsible for taking away from her. A hole had drilled through his heart at that moment.

"I was wondering," Connie piped up, turning to Hanji. "Where are the kids now? Ida-san lived in the headquarters, no? Didn't she bring them along when she joined the Corps?"

An imminent forlorn feeling settled at the bottom of her heart and Hanji pushed her spectacles up her nose bridge, "No, she didn't. She said she had no belongings, and neither did she have any friends or family."

"It's obvious." Levi sarcastically added, the memory of Ida still palpable in his mind — how she would always refuse to speak of her past, how she seemed so emotionally jarred, how Ida Starke was so afraid of losing people. "They aren't here anymore. Even kids aren't spared from the fucking Underground City — kill or be killed. That's how it is down here."

Looks of horror flashed across their faces and Levi could tell they were severely disturbed by the reality of it all. In fact, Jean didn't even want to think of what had happened, and neither did he want to linger around this photo frames that spoke volumes of the tragedy any longer.

Too cruel, Jean thought to himself with a shudder, they were so young...

The Underground is surely for the survival of the fittest. Meanwhile, Levi didn't seem too concerned with it, since he kept talking, unperturbed.

"Put those away and get back to work," he commanded, heading into one of the rooms instead. 'Hanji, let me know when there are any new leads on Eren and Historia."

The door opened with a loud creak and Levi lifted the candle higher to inspect the room. He could smell the dust in the air, and he walked further in, floorboards creaking with each step. Suddenly, he found himself stepping on something and he looked down — a doll.

A doll splattered with blood.

Levi's heart twisted even further. It was though everything had been left exactly the same as that day something happened here. As he observed the room, he could vividly remember the day Erwin Smith had managed to capture Ida when her infamous reputation had spread to the upper world. He also recalled the feeling of sympathy. Levi could remember looking at her with pity.

Living in the Underground City, beaten, and captured with no living family or friends. Ida must have felt bitter, he had thought to himself. And yet, she had always held her head high imposingly with her strong eyes. But somehow, over time, Levi realized they seem sad… as if she had given up. Frozen apathetic green eyes with nothing in them.

Then, as time went on, he began to see something else. Tears. Her tears were purer than blood. Sometimes, she would wail too, even though her cries would be swallowed by the violent arena between Titans and humans. Levi had witnessed her pain, felt it all. It reminded him of his own pain, his own loss — but why couldn't he cry like her? Why couldn't he grieve, why couldn't he feel like her? Weren't they the same?

It wasn't Ida who gave up, it was Levi.

He, who felt nothing, who held his head up unyieldingly, who refused to let any emotions deter him from his goal. All those years when he didn't bat an eye when he saw comrades after comrades fall to their demise. All those blood on his hands. Somehow, in the cruelty of it all, he figured it was simply better to feel numb, it was just that much easier. It was he who gave up on living, it was he who gave up on feeling human. Ida had never stopped.

What was living any way? Wasn't it being a human?

If so, was he even living anymore?

An empty shell he had been, a human weapon for humanity — mankind's own sword to defend. He was revered, respected and above all, a hero. He denied himself of all happiness for the sake of others; he denied himself from 'feelings' for mankind's victory. Killing was so easy, humans were after all just made of flesh and bones. Sacrificing his comrades was easy as well — he just had to justify his actions; it was for the sake of mankind.

It had always just been for the sake of mankind.

But somehow, someway, Ida had become something he had deprived himself of all these years.

Ida was his conscience.

"Captain," a voice echoed behind him out of the blue, pulling him away from his thoughts.

"Ackerman," Levi greeted in a dull voice, turning around to face her. "What is it?"

Mikasa averted her gaze hastily, arm wrapped around herself, "…Could we talk?" she asked, suddenly striking up a conversation — much to Levi's utter surprise — she had been so quiet the entire journey.

Levi arched a brow and nodded. "Mhm," He agreed.

"Our name… Ackerman." Mikasa began uncertainly but she carried on strongly, "I've been meaning to ask you about it."

Levi sucked in a deep breath and then let it out slowly, eyeing the messy room again with a troubled look on his face. He was quiet for so long that Mikasa didn't think he was going to say anything in return, but after a few moments, he finally responded. "I don't know anything," he admitted uncertainty.

She frowned and took a few steps toward him. "Are we related?" Levi was still keeping silent, so Mikasa continued on. "My mother and father… They were killed. It's because of our name, isn't it? What do you know?"

"Nothing," Levi answered intimidatingly.

"But Kenny Ackerman—"

"I said I don't know anything, Ackerman." Levi interrupted without hesitation, effectively ending Mikasa's argument. She seemed taken aback by his sharp words. "He was just a shit of a bastard who raised me, I took on his name that is all." He told her firmly, gritting his teeth. "And while we are on this subject, don't you even fucking think about sneaking off to look for Eren either, the last thing we need is for you to be captured."

"And what makes you think I was going to sneak off?" Mikasa asked defensively.

Levi's only response was to give her a pointed once over, blatantly eyeing the 3DMG equipped on her, before quirking a skeptical eyebrow at her and letting out a scoff. Mikasa's lips tightened. "We are moving too slow," she pointed out, noting his perceptiveness. "Why are we waiting here?"

"I don't want to stay in this shitty place either, but we have no choice. We have no lead on where Eren and Historia are and we are waiting on further orders from the Erwin." Levi informed her sharply with a sneer. "You're dismissed, Ackerman. Go report to Hanji, we need patrols."

Mikasa clenched her fist, still staying at the very same spot she was in. "Aren't you worried?"

Levi scoffed and looked at her, waiting for her to continue and she did, "About Ida Starke. We are wasting time here, something might have happened to them already."

Perhaps she had thought, when she came to Levi today, that she would be able to connect with him somehow. Perhaps because Mikasa saw that they were too similar in their circumstances — the people that they desired so wholeheartedly to protect were gone. Perhaps, she hoped that he could understand the anxiousness she was feeling, why she was feeling so restless.

Was that what she was expecting?

"She'd be fine," Levi answered without hesitation. "She's capable of defending herself without me, and Eren too."

"Except her mind," Mikasa countered smartly, "The problem has always been her mind, her emotions."

Levi averted his gaze from her. This was why Ida was his conscience and he was the sword. She was the conscience who whispered morals and compassion in his ears and he was the weapon who mercilessly cut down everything in his way. She was something he couldn't be, Ida was strong — much stronger than she gave herself credit for. A small pregnant paused passed through them as Levi thought through her response, but he shook his head and decided to steer the conversation in a different direction.

"You're dismissed, Ackerman." Levi reiterated, meeting her gaze and forcing her to see that he was serious.

Mikasa clenched her jaw and reluctantly walked away, leaving Levi alone again.

For a few moments, he stood there, sorting everything out, trying to find some sense in this apparent chaos he had submerged himself into. He picked up the doll in the room and glanced around his surroundings.

What happened here...? he wondered silently.

Who was that man with that scar on his face in that picture and how was he related to all of this?

o o o —x π{Ö}πx — o o o

"You'd catch a cold if you stay there any longer."

Elsie Starke did not move from the window at the sound of the familiar voice behind her, instead, she closed her eyes and breathed. The air was somehow colder today, far colder than the North of the Wall was used to.

"This is the only way I'd be able to see the outside world," she admitted ruefully, green eyes hollow. "For the past five years, I would sit here and wonder — where she is? Every day, I wondered if my daughter was still alive somewhere... It's something you will never understand, brother."

Jaron Starke smirked at his twin sister's reply and he scanned the room. "I'd say I provided you with suitable accommodation," he folded his arm and leaned on the wall. Turning to the guards that accompanied him, he commanded. "Leave us."

With a salute to the chest, the guards obliged and closed the door behind them. Elsie turned her head slowly, coming face to face with her twin brother. That face — it was so perfect, like a perfectly carved statue yet it was touched by a sense of darkness. This was her twin, her flesh and blood.

Sometimes, Elsie wondered if God was playing a cruel hilarious joke on her. Twins yet worlds apart. There was no respect among the siblings, no love, no loyalty. The only thing they shared was their appearance and blood. Yet, even with all that said, Elsie still wanted to protect him, she wanted to do what was right.

Those dark thoughts lingered to this day, Elsie wondered if Jaron was simply just an embodiment of the darkest and deepest side of her, the monster in her — carved out from her when she was still a babe in the womb.

"Why did you bring her here?" Elsie inquired softly, getting straight to the point.

"I thought you wanted to see your daughter," Jaron tapped his chin and smirked vilely, sensing her fear. "Aren't you going to thank me instead?"

"For separating us? For keeping me locked in this tower for the past five years?" Although Elsie's voice was unyielding and strong, she looked quite the opposite; shivering slightly with cold sweat forming on her forehead. Admittedly, she was so tensed and frightened that her body almost seemed to have shut down. Yet that determined fire in her eyes never seems to fade out no matter how much her body was betraying her and showing her inner emotions.

She laughed humorlessly. "Perhaps I should."

Jaron smiled approvingly at her submissiveness. It hadn't always been like this, Elsie was once full of vigor and life, defiant and strong. Now, the years and her handicap had worn into her. Perhaps this was why Jaron found Ida's presence uncomfortable, for she resembled Elsie in the past. But it didn't matter to him, like her mother, he would soon break her as well.

"Erwin Smith..." He began, slowly, as though to draw suspense. As he predicted, Elsie snapped her head to look at him. Jaron smirked at her reaction. "He sent Ida here you know? To obtain information from me, to spy on us."

"A — All… those years…" Elsie stuttered and recognition struck her hard. "Ida met with him?"

"Yes. Not only that, but she's also under his command." Jaron informed her. "Didn't you know? A year ago, Ida had become a member of the Survey Corps. A Titan killer, she's called, the second strongest soldier." His eyes twinkled enigmatically, before he asked sardonically, "Aren't you proud?"

Elsie's eyes bloomed in horror. "How long have you kept this from me? You said she was missing, that she didn't make it out of Shiganshina district…"

"That was what I thought initially, I've only learned of her existence just three years ago," Jaron countered, sounding very much calm, yet the dark malevolent look on his face spoke volumes. "But... you never asked about her again… So I didn't tell you."

"You bastard!" Elsie cursed, tears welling in her eyes. How she mourned, the grief she felt all these years — her brother was the cause of it all. "What are you planning to do with her?!"

Jaron Starke chuckled, finding it amusing to see Elsie in this state, but soon, the expression on his face contorted and he scowled. "You shouldn't have given birth to her. You shouldn't have involved yourself with that bastard Smith. Now, look at what you've done, Elsie. Look at the suffering you passed on to your daughter who obtained our name Starke. Ida is nothing but a pawn to me, and she's nothing but a pawn to her father, the man you loved so much as well!"

Elise could feel his anger burning deep inside of him as he narrated everything. He looked at her mockingly and she instantly felt degraded in his gaze, as if he had the power to discriminate her without saying a word.

She clenched her fist and fought on, now that Ida was alive, she would do anything in her power to protect her. "We had a promise! You said you would never touch her—"

Elsie did not get to finish when Jaron lunged forward and clamped his fingers around her neck, pulling her up from her wheelchair and choking the air out of her.

"I made no promise!" Jaron growled dangerously, tightening the hold on her frail neck. His eyes were twinkling with malevolent thoughts running wild through his head. Elsie coughed and wheezed for air, feeling faint. "Don't you understand?! I have no use of you now! You don't command me and you will not talk to me in that tone! I'm your lord and the master of this house before I am your brother!"

This disturbing revelation instantly snapped her awake and kept her from fainting. Elsie could feel every muscle agonizingly tensed up instantly and the realization hit her hard — oh god, no. Jaron couldn't possibly…

Her brother smiled when he saw her eyes expand and at that moment he knew that Elsie understood everything. Another round of sardonic chuckles and Jaron released his grip on his sister's neck, dropping her the ground with a loud thud. Elsie wheezed heavily on the floor for sweet oxygen.

"I suppose you understand now," Jaron waved her off dismissively, ambling towards the door with a strong rigid posture. "Ida will take your place from now on. Isn't that what you always wanted? To be free? Well, all things come with a price."

She coughed on the floor, tears pouring down her cheeks — the tears of her failure. This was her repentance, this was her punishment. All the things she had done, all the things she endured, it was all for nothing. All for absolutely nothing.

"Y — You…" Elsie gritted her teeth, her nails digging into the floorboard. "You will pay for this." She declared with malicious intent, understanding her brother's intentions to bring Ida into the picture now. "I won't let you do this."

The bags under his eyes became darker, if not more visible, giving more potency to the scrutinizing gaze he was imparting to her. Slowly, Jaron advanced to Elsie and crouched down in front of her. She tensed and swallowed hard when he started touching her face, his rough calloused hands feeling like sandpaper against her porcelain skin. Fear tantalized and prickled her nerve senses. Another series of tears erupted from her eyes — Elsie was feeling so helpless.

"Now that I have no use of you, I could kill you anytime," he warned her and smirked menacingly, teeth gleaming as he wiped the tears off her face. "I won't hesitate."

Elsie swallowed and only hardened her glare. "Then just kill me now."

"Unfortunately, dear sister, it appears that you cannot die just yet." Standing up abruptly, he looked down on her. "It's kind of ironic, don't you think? How your very breath would cause your daughter to slowly fall to her demise…"

Jaron had an amused smile on his face when he saw her eyes flickering with unforgiving fire. It was so subtle, but he was sure it was there — loathing him.

"…As long as you live, Ida will do anything to free you. Do you understand now? You cannot die, I won't let you die." He laughed once more and turned his heel. "Do you remember what I say? If you try to ever kill yourself again, I won't leave the Smith bastard to be and I've kept my promise for years, watching as that scum advance to even the become the Commander of the Survey Corps... And might I remind you, sweet sister, it's not only Erwin's life that you have to be worried about now..."

SLICE!

It happened so fast that Elsie wasn't even able to react. Jaron had taken out his sword and in a brief second lowered it down and sliced off his sister's right hand. Elsie let out a blood-curling scream, the shock of everything hit her before the intense pain did.

"…So how does it feel to want to die, but can't at all?" Jaron asked sarcastically, watching Elsie scream in agony on the floorboard. The blood from her severed hand had formed a small pool, but Jaron merely looked apathetically at the sight.

"Beautiful," he echoed in awe.

Steam. Slowly, wafting up into the air, billowing and soft. Jaron stood there in awe as he watched the steam emit from Elsie's severed stump and began regenerating. For Jaron Starke, this was the most beautiful of a Titan shifter's abilities.

Advanced regeneration — it was almost as though they were immortal, powerful creatures that could triumph against humanity.

"Just in case though, I'd move you to another place." Jaron cleaned the blood off his sword and walked towards the exit. "Don't do anything stupid, sweet sister. I'd see you soon."

I should have died five years ago, Elsie closed her eyes as another stream of tears flowed when she heard the door close. A monster was what she was — a wretched monster. Why? It was just so utterly unfair, in that incident five years ago, the only thing Elsie Starke had been able to retain was advanced regeneration.

If she was a monster, why didn't she have the power to fight back anymore? Why couldn't she be strong? For years Elsie wanted so badly to die, but the threats from Jaron Starke would always ring in her ear and she couldn't allow him to hurt Erwin. This time, he had his claws on her daughter as well. The octaves of her cry grew with every second. Trapped in a tower for five years, Elsie knew little to nothing about her abilities nor was she aware of what was happening in the outside world. With an agonizing bit to her lip, Elsie tried to crawl her way back to her wheelchair, but her legs wouldn't move. Elsie wept even deeper.

Why was it that her legs wouldn't heal?

When that Titan had caught her and broke her spine into half, she should've died, her brother had told her. It was her Titan shifter's ability that kept her alive and healed her, he said, it was what that saved her, so why didn't her legs heal as well?

Why was she so broken when she had the power of the Titans?

o o o —x π{Ö}πx — o o o

Outside, Jaron gave out a loud sigh and gestured for Rena to come over. Rena was young, but she had immense potential, which was exactly why he had assigned her to keep watch on his niece. "Where's Ida? Aren't you suppose to keep an eye on her?"

Rena saluted and lowered her head. "In her room. I've come to report that as you expected she had admitted defeat and has agreed to comply with you in exchange for her mother's freedom."

"I see..." Jaron smirked triumphantly before he gestured to the closed door of Elsie's room. "We'll be leaving the estate soon, it's no longer safe. When the Military finds out where Rod is, they'll turn on us next. Move Elsie to the dungeons for now and chain her, I want guards on patrol at all times. Make sure that she does nothing to harm herself." He ordered sternly.

But when Rena did not move to heed his orders, he raised his voice, "What are you waiting for, Rena? Did you not hear my command?"

"Elsie Starke… she's a Titan Shifter?" Rena asked incredulously, greatly disturbed by the revelation behind it all. "…What if she transforms when we try to restrain her?"

Jaron laughed at her frightened expression, "Oh, that's right. You didn't know, did you? That my baby sister was a Titan Shifter?" He nodded his head understandingly before adding, "Well, since you know about that… It's time I inform you about something as well — Elsie can't transform into her Titan form, so there's no need to worry."

"Can't transform?" Rena echoed for clarification, eyes wide.

"A Titan shifter's powers reside in their spinal cord, Rena. It's in their spinal fluids." Jaron explained. "This explains why a Titan's weak spot is at the back of their napes, which corresponds to the dimensions of their brain and spinal cord. If this portion was cut off, regeneration would be impossible as the two can no longer connect, hence they can't function anymore. So when Elsie's spine was broken by that Titan five years ago, it didn't technically snap her spine fully in half, she would have died that way — any Titan Shifter would've died, but she did injure her spine. In truth, she only survived because of the medical assistance we had provided and her Titan power. But that injury, however, did thwart her abilities." He paused for a moment and clenched his fist. "…That's why she's handicap now and had lost her ability to transform."

"So… is that why you want Ida now?" Rena questioned, somehow understanding Jaron's intentions. "As a replacement?"

Jaron smiled enigmatically, "…A Titan Shifter who can't transform into a Titan… is weak..."

Turning his heel, he made his way down the stairs, but not before saying softly, "And I have no use for broken things…"

---

Hope you enjoyed this chapter!