To see a Darkened Sun

chapter 14

Arias gently patted Gwyndolin on the back when he noticed him stop hugging so tightly and participating less in the kiss, worried something was wrong he wanted to try comforting him. Gwyndolin was pulled back from his thoughts to reality, reminded of the love that he had now with him, in his arms, on his lips.

Gwyndolin broke the kiss and planted his face onto Arias' chest, weeping lightly as he held tightly onto him. It was nice, having someone that he could finally let his guard down around, someone that would protect and support him. Arias kept his arms wrapped around Gwyndolin as he wept once again, feeling his snakes coil around his legs as he gently stoked his head.

Gwyndolin lifted his head up again, looking through his teary eyes into Arias' soft caring ones. He smiled and even let out a weak laugh.

"Ha... Arias, this- thou... I... Thank thee. O thank thee so much. Not a soul has ever even... None hast loved me! Mine entire life I was alone!... Please... Please never leave my side... I can't take anymore..." He bawled, his emotions, thoughts, and years of loneliness all pouring out to the surface at once. Gwyndolin tightened his embrace of Arias and cried on his shoulder, occasionally muttering "Please..." as he clung to him.

Now everything made sense. It wasn't just a because he was upset that Arias was leaving, the breakdown was the culmination of a lifetime of neglect and powerlessness. The poor god was barely even considered family, of course Arias had heard the rumors, that Gwyndolin was a bastard child, born out of wedlock and maybe not even by a real god, but he refused to believe them, though what he'd just heard all but confirmed them.

Arias held Gwyndolin tightly, though not so tight as to hurt the god. "Never. I'll die before I leave you." He reassured him, letting him cry as much as he wanted on his shoulder. They both knew it was an empty promise, Gwyndolin already knew it when he practically begged him, there was nothing that could be done about it really. But the intention was there, and even though it was truly hopeless, Arias' almost certain voice was enough to put Gwyndolin at ease for now.

It was so warm now, so comfortable, Gwyndolin didn't want to let go, it was the only warmth that felt real, not distant, nor powerful enough to incinerate him, it was all just perfect. Even Arias, he was like the perfect man in Gwyndolin's eyes, honest, brave, loyal, kind, strong, and very handsome, it was as if a dream had just come to life and he hadn't even noticed until today.

As the tears slowed, he sighed lightly, closing his eyes as he snuggled with Arias, who suddenly felt something strange poking into his lower abdomen. He was about to say something when Gwyndolin noticed it too and immediately let go of him and pushed himself away.

"D-Do not gaze at my shame!" He cried as he shyly curled up, covering his face with his garb once again. Arias was more than a little shocked as all of this had happened within the time frame of around 4 seconds, but he wasn't about to get angry about it. Even he's thought about Gwyndolin... in that way, though until now he'd simply told himself it was blasphemous.

He slowly reached over to Gwyndolin and gently took hold of his hand. He expected Gwyndolin to push him away or at least flinch but he didn't, though he did tense up a bit. Arias waited a minute before guiding his hand down, to reveal his bright red face and incredibly nervous expression.

"Uh- I- ah- wel- Th- Uh.. T-T'was-" Gwyndolin started, constantly tripping over his own words and struggling to find some excuse, but Arias interrupted him before he could get very far.

"It's ok, I won't judge you for it so don't worry." Arias comforted him, looking into his eyes with that same honesty as always.

"...If I'm being honest I feel that same urge, deep within me..." He revealed, Gwyndolin's face instantly reddening once again in response.

"If you want to... We could try and see what it's like? To be a real couple, and to be as close as we can be..." He then suggested, blushing a bit himself as the weight of what he'd just suggested only sunk in after he said it. Still holding hands, Gwyndolin broke his gaze for a minute to think.

It was most likely not a good idea, they were wasting time as is and he knew his father would be ashamed of him for it, were he still alive. But looking back into Arias' eyes, Gwyndolin felt his own voice deep down telling him that he wanted to be with this man, and for once he'd choose what he wanted for himself, and not have someone else tell him what to he'd do.

He'd been alone in Anor Londo for so long, he'd been abandoned so long ago, yet today was the first time he truly felt free from the influence of his family, of his title and claim to godhood. Just for now, he could be himself, and it was almost all thanks to the man in front of him.

"...Y-Yes. I want to... feel thee, and thine love... To be like a couple for true, if only just for now..." He smiled warmly, firmly squeezing Arias' hand as he spoke.

"Very well" Arias smiled back, leaning in slowly for another kiss. Hesitantly they let go of their hands and attempted to undress each other. Though Gwyndolin wasn't having much luck getting his leg plates off, not really understanding how plate armor actually worked. Arias too was having some trouble, Gwyndolin's robe was much more complex than it seemed at first glance, the small linings of gold and little pendants made it quite difficult to take anything off without breaking the delicate dress.

Despite the difficulties they both managed to undress the other. Now naked, Gwyndolin felt slightly exposed, but his discomfort was soon washed away when Arias pulled him close and lightly kissed him on the forehead. He felt so safe in his arms, with his warmth radiating throughout him, so close, closer than any other.

Arias gently pushed Gwyndolin over to his back, rolling on top of him as he did. Holding himself up, he was carful not to hurt the god. Breaking the kiss, he lifted himself slightly up and prepared to enter him, before Gwyndolin stopped him.

"Ah, wait!" His shouting caught Arias off guard and shocked him a bit. He looked over to him, worried that he'd done something wrong or that maybe the god had gotten nervous at the last minute.

"I just noticed, it would be quite painful without proper lubrication" Gwyndolin told him, putting to rest some of Arias' worries. Gwyndolin paused for a minute, trying to think of a solution to their last minute problem. Of course he could suck it himself, but looking at it that idea wasn't very appealing to him. A bucket, or even just a glass of water would not only soak the bedsheets but it'd also be quite rude.

Then he realised, he always kept a spare staff under his bed, with that he could solve their problem quickly and efficiently. Gwyndolin quickly reached under the bed, much to Arias' confusion, and grabbed the staff, raising it onto the bed with them. Arias gave him a confused look, but Gwyndolin was quick to clear up what he was doing.

"I just remembered a sorcery that, while not intended for this purpose, could prove quite useful in this scenario we've found ourselves in." He explained, a little proud of his quick problem solving.

"Now, be still." He ordered, lifting the staff up and beginning to cast the spell.

"Well if you say so, just be carful you don't..." Arias stopped himself, not wanting to even think about what could go wrong if Gwyndolin messed up the casting.

"Do not worry, I know what I'm doing." He chuckled slightly. he lightly tapped the top of the staff with his index finger, bobbing it and instantly Arias felt his member get coated in liquid.

"So uh... What exactly is this stuff?" Arias asked, curious but also still slightly worried despite the reassurance. Gwyndolin just shrugged which didn't exactly increase his confidence.

"It is perfectly clean though, the sorcery was made in a small village as a response to dehydration due to droughts, perfectly drinkable and safe, but no one is sure what it is." Gwyndolin explained, noticing Arias' unease.

"Hm... Seems, handy then." Arias noted in reply, to which Gywndolin nodded, putting his staff back under the bed as he did so.

"Well then... G-Go ahead." Gwyndolin stuttered slightly, he was starting to have a few doubts, but if it was with Arias then he still wanted to do it. He nervously spread his legs for Arias, who carefully pulled him over and prepared himself to enter him.

"Are you ready?" Arias asked, slightly nervous himself.

"..Y-Yes. Just- be gentle please..." Gwyndolin requested, biting his knuckle in anticipation. Arias nodded and slowly pushed himself inside. Gwyndolin gasped and bit harder into his knuckle. Arias was careful with him, not going in that deep at first, letting him adjust to the intrusion.

He gradually went in a little deeper at a time, being careful not to hurt or upset his lover. Gywndolin lightly moaned as he continued to penetrate him, on occasion he would lightly mutter his name, his eyes fixed on him adoringly. His snakes slowly coiled around Arias' legs and chest.

It was really like something out of a dream, despite the initial pain, doing this, with Arias, felt far better than he'd anticipated, he could barely hold back his gasps and moans and Arias made love to him. Though deep down, he felt as though this were wrong. Even though he loved Arias deeply, even though just this act alone felt amazing, he felt a shame in it.

Just saying it outside of the context, that he, the last god of Anor Londo, dropped his duties for a day to cry and have sex with an undead, would make anyone feel some level of disgust. Indeed, he could feel his father's disapproval from beyond the grave. But then their eyes locked, and everything was okay.

Gwyndolin found a peace and serenity in those eyes that he'd seen no where else. Something so... indescribably perfect that it made him feel as though everything would be alright, giving him the courage to move on, like a blanket of safety.

"A-Arias, please-" He spoke abruptly between gasps.

"K-Kiss me!" Without another word, Arias did just that, leaning over and pressing his lips against Gwyndolin's once again. And then, bliss. They both lost themselves in it, the sheer golden bliss of the moment. Hearts beating as one, they could think about nothing but each other, inseparable for this brief void of time in which the world disapeared, making way for the two lovers.

They could stay like this forever.

A/N

Well that was certainly difficult to write. I really tried to handle this chapter and it's contents with as much care as I could, I hope it didn't come across as inappropriate. A lot of the stuff I write has been at least somewhat inspired by Berserk, such as Arias' fighting style and so on. Specifically chapters 45-48 were what inspired this chapter. Again it was a really difficult chapter to work on, so I hope you enjoyed reading it. See you again soon, hopefully.