Humanity's Strongest Woman

by xDollfie

In every empire, there is an epic era that defies the boundaries of time and immortalized itself in the history books. For mankind, an epic era they will never forget has finally emerged. The war between humanity and Titans has finally come to a head. Love cease to exist in a time like this, but they found it, and promised that it'll be worth it. Every stubborn inch of it [LEVIXOC]

30. Special (3)

PLEASE READ: Hello all, it's good to be back. Alas, it's rather hard for me to write a chapter now due to a writer's block and being rusty in writing, so I'll be releasing a Special that I have been working on for quite some time. Specials are much easier for me to write now honestly, I hope you guys don't mind. Please be patient with me.

But after my long hiatus, I knew I couldn't just write any omake, so I decided to fulfill the request of some of my readers for a 'background' story on Erwin and Elsie. It's a 3-part short story so I hope you enjoy it.

I also included two special drabbles written in both Ida and Levi's points of view respectively which recounts some of the events that have already happened, only it is written through their own perspective. I guess it provides a more intimate view of how these two characters I think? I had a lot of fun writing these two drabbles! It's so much fun to step into a character's shoes and write from their perspective compared to the third person POV I have always written in.

I hope you enjoy this Omake. I love all of you guys, and I sincerely hope you guys have a wonderful day ahead of you. Thank you for supporting me all these years and all the emails/private messages that you have sent regarding HSW.

Let me know what you think of this Special/Omake chapter! Would love to hear them!

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Humanity's Strongest Woman by xDollfie

Chapter Special (3)

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Through Glass Windows.

(This drabble is written in Ida's point of view.)

Bold, brave, powerful.

I suppose that was what made up this man — this fearless man who they called the strongest. His battle prowess and his unyielding personality were what basically constituted his title of Humanity's Strongest. However, though one might find pride in that, it was strange to me how Levi didn't seem to approve of the title bestowed upon him.

In fact, I'd caught an upturned sneer etched on his face more than once whenever someone referred to him with that title.

"Ida," he called in that same calm deep voice, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Come back alive."

I nodded once in acknowledgment, scanning the rest of the legion mounted on top of their horses in front of the immense walls. It was the same thing whenever we'd embark on an expedition; he would say the same thing to each member of his squad — 'come back alive', as though he was silently afraid we wouldn't.

"You too," I replied coolly.

The crowd began to shout and cheer as usual, and I noticed Levi's scowl became even darker.

"Won't they ever shut up?" he growled, clearly pricked by their incessant screaming. "I might just throw every single one of them off the damn wall."

"Let it slide," I suggested softly, earning a raised brow from him. I shrugged idly. "It's always been like this, you might as well get used to it."

He scoffed. "Weren't you the damn one complaining last time?"

"That was another time," I retorted with a frown.

Levi released a deep irritated growl under his breath. "Tch. That's how it always is," he answered sarcastically. "Hear their incessant noisy cheers only to be condemned and hated by the time we come back."

"You're the strongest," I replied calmly, not wanting to argue with him, especially not before we were about to embark on an expedition. "It's only natural for them to cheer for you. You're their hope. They look up to you."

"You never know when to shut up, do you?" he sneered vehemently, before kicking his horse and trotting to the front lines.

I sighed inaudibly, wondering why it was so hard to read through him. It didn't take long for me to discover that Levi was a rock. No matter how many waves hit the rock — be it waves of despair, waves of anger or waves of agony — he would never crack. Levi was the type of rock that was immune to all sorts of waves.

But what if he knew that I looked up to him as well?

Perhaps that was why I found him so intriguing. I admired his strength. I admired his unyielding determination.

I admired everything about him because he was everything I wasn't and couldn't be.

Powerful; even his sheer aura was enough to intimidate the bravest of soldiers.

Deep down, I came to realize that I secretly desired to be like him; to have that much power to protect the ones he loved. I thought back to the past two expeditions I'd been on, only to remember how many times he risked his life for the sake of saving others.

He was the king on the battlefield.

Possessing a king's disposition but yet lacking a king's mercy; that was who he was. One who trampled, pulverized and bestowed death without discrimination.

Perhaps that was why I was so captivated by him. One moment he could be throwing spiteful jabs at others, and the next he'd be offering consolation to a dying soldier. Yet at the same time, I was conflicted with fear. I was terrified of him. How could he be so composed even when facing times of peril? It wasn't just wasn't natural.

Why was he so damned perfect?

He was nothing like me, and because of that, I found myself hating him more than anything. Because he represented everything I wasn't.

Though as many would say, I more or less acted like him. It was in actuality an act, a distraction, a remedy to nurse my aching soul. But for Levi, it was natural to him. He wasn't faking it. He was strong.

Levi Ackerman was something beyond human comprehension.

What made him so special? What was it that he had that I didn't? Why was it that he was so full of life while I was so frighteningly empty?

Aren't our hands the same?

Aren't we far beyond redemption?

Haven't we sinned enough?

As I rode through the gates to the outer lands with the legion, I found myself staring at the wings of freedom emblem etched on Levi's back.

I was determined to break that rock — I wanted to find out what was inside. I wanted to find the source of his power for myself.

I wanted to be strong.

{xx}

Impertinent, asshole, mysterious.

I realized there was something about Levi and his strange obsession with tea. And over the few months of being in the legion and under his command, I too have become accustomed to the bitter taste of smooth black tea. In fact, I took a rather fond liking to it.

Bitter and thick, just how he liked it; and somehow, he liked the tea that I made best. Or so I assumed. He enjoyed it as if he enjoyed the bitterness dancing on his palette. Now that I think about it, it was almost as if he savored the bitter taste.

"Levi."

"What?" He turned, holding his cup in the same peculiar way he always did. I wondered how he did it, but I convinced myself it was just a personal quirk of his.

I felt my body shifted as I struggled to make light conversation. "...Do you believe in reincarnation?"

"No."

I frowned at his plain answer. "Why not?"

Levi replied quickly again, not even looking up from his paperwork. "I just don't."

"…Have you ever lost someone important to you before?" I probed. I knew it was prying and I was certain that Levi wouldn't appreciate my curiosity, but I couldn't help it. "Don't you think it'd be nicer to believe that those who passed on had another chance in life?"

"Living is hell altogether," he responded dully, surprising me with his ominous answer. Does this man have no will to live, just like me? But before I could speak, he elaborated further. "The people that left don't deserve to be reincarnated, they've suffered enough."

Unsatisfied with his answer, I probed further. "But don't you ever want to meet someone again? Someone who left far too early?"

Surely, this man was just like me.

Surely, this man had people he cared about who left before him.

Surely, this man wanted to die just to reunite with them.

Perhaps he wasn't that perfect.

A tense silence passed through us, with him never making an attempt to answer my question. I watched as he coolly drank his tea without a care in the world while flipping through his stack of paperwork before I decided that my curiosity was too much to suppress.

"Levi?"

"Can't you just shut up for once?" he snapped back suddenly, causing me to blink in shock.

I was rather peeved at his behavior towards me. "I just—"

He stood up before I could continue and placed his empty teacup on the table. He took his stack of paperwork in his arms and gave me a glare that lodged my remaining words in my throat.

"Good night."

He concluded the conversation just like that, muttering an inaudible thanks for the tea before stalking out of the hall without another word.

It was after this that I learned that his comrades, the only family he knew from the Underground City, had died on their first expedition, leaving him as the sole survivor.

And it was only then did I come to understand him a little better.

He wasn't like me.

Despite it all, he wanted to live.

He wanted to live, in order to live out the dreams of those that left before him. He felt indebted to them, the people that followed him and died because of him.

His life was not his to live alone. He had the strength to live with the guilt.

And for that, I hated him because he was so irrecoverably perfect.

I, as someone who had no honor, couldn't possibly relate to someone like this.

He was the complete opposite of me, a perfect survivor in this cruel world. Strong enough to harbor dreams and hope. He was honorable and morally upright, and he was so painfully unlike me.

I couldn't help but wonder if deep down he wanted to live and die for himself too.

{xx}

Bastard, unreasonable, misunderstood.

Levi was never afraid to crush someone, be it his comrades or an enemy. And by crush, I mean shattering every shred of confidence a person had into a thousand pieces. But over the past year, I realized that despite it all, Levi meant well.

He had always meant well.

From the time he brought me into the legion and crushed my confidence and soul to the ground, I despised him. But it was only after my first expedition when I finally understood why he did that.

"Never grow arrogant," he advised with a fearsome scowl, "For then, you'd be careless. Arrogance only breeds stupidity."

"He really did it this time," Jean growled angrily as he entered the mess hall, looking incredibly pissed. "Who does he think he is to smash into Connie like that?"

Sasha nodded dramatically in agreement, her lips pulled to a thin line. "I know. He was trying his best! Captain Levi didn't need to chew into him like that! Even Instructor Shadis never went that far."

"You don't know him," I interrupted the newly enlisted recruits' conversation before I could stop myself. "You don't know Levi."

Jean raised his brow, but what I said only seemed to have increased his anger. "You're always going on about how unreasonable he is! Captain Levi literally tore into Connie's self-esteem just for being too slow!"

"And?" I rebuffed firmly, placing my teacup down. "If he's too slow, he'll die in the upcoming expedition. That's a fact, is it not? The world changes too fast. You take your eyes off something that's always been there and the next minute it's just a memory."

My voice grew softer as I took in their disturbed expressions. "Levi just… wants you all to live. No matter how fucked up it is, this is his own way of caring."

I was surprised that I was defending him, but perhaps it was because I knew what it was like to be misunderstood.

What did they know about him? Surely someone like me, who has paid particular attention to him throughout the past year, knew better than that. Though his methods were easily misunderstood, I was unable to understand his intentions.

He was the ever-perfect man, without a single flaw.

Honorable, venerable, and principled.

It was a strange conception, but I wondered why someone as cowardly as me was able to understand someone as righteous as he.

{xx}

Badmouth, cold, jerk.

Like razor-sharp blades, a prickly cactus, or the spikes on a chainsaw, he was unapproachable. Levi was never good with words, though I admit that I was never good with them either. However, there was something about him that made you feel inferior, as if looking into his haunting grey eyes could remind you just how insignificant you actually were.

"I heard what you did with Connie," I trailed behind him, finally bringing up the topic I'd been so hesitant to bring up. "You didn't have to put that boy down so harshly, you know. You're giving yourself a bad reputation."

"I couldn't care less about reputation," he said, shoving a bucket of soapy water into my arms.

"Still…" I persisted, tightening my lips. "He's just a kid…"

"He won't be a damn kid in diapers much longer," he argued through gritted teeth. "If the other recruits can do it, why can't he? He's as good as a damn pig up for slaughter with his skills. And are you just going to stand there and preach all day, or are you going to help out?"

I mentally rolled my eyes at his remark, moving over to a desk and dipping an old rag into the bucket of soapy water. "… You used that method on me as well. I hated you for that."

"But it worked, didn't it?" Levi snorted, his eyes boring into mine. "I didn't say I needed ignorant brats to love me."

"But you just need them to stay alive," I continued sharply. I noted the quirk of his brow and felt a little tug on my heartstrings. "To come back to their families, I mean."

Levi scowled as if he hated that I was right. Although I was sure he wouldn't admit it, there was something oddly charming about it.

"It's faster to educate brats like you this way. I need them to understand as quickly as possible what kind of shit they're going to experience in the legion," he added shortly after, irritably scrubbing away the dirt on the coffee table.

"Was I really that bad?" I asked after a long pause, silently dreading the answer.

"Worse," he replied without hesitation. "I was so darn sure you'd be dead come your first expedition, not that you wanted to come back alive anyway."

I clenched my jaw at his answer, slightly offended. I was adamant to hold onto any shred of pride I had left, even though I knew our conversation would quickly turn sour.

Must he really expose me like that?

Was he really so merciless that he couldn't leave me any room to escape from the harsh reality of my suicidal tendencies?

Why was it that he had to remind me again and again, how perfect he was?

"I get that you want us to survive, but you can't inspire people like that. You're always so critical of those in power. It's not as though you listen to anyone apart from Erwin, yet you expect everyone to heed to your orders every damn time. Isn't that asking for too much?"

"I didn't ask for your damn advice, Ida," he snapped. When he saw the defiant look on my face he scoffed, bitterly grabbing his broom and vigorously sweeping away at any specks of dirt on the floor. "And do you think those higher-ups inspire anyone? Our king is a piece of useless shit. All the nobles are corrupted and sit on their asses all day. They sip on wine and fatten themselves up while the rest of the population rots to fucking hell."

"You don't know that," I frowned. "My mother was born a noble, and she didn't sit on her ass all day. She worked, she cooked, and she supported me."

He snorted sardonically, turning the attention of his disdainful eyes to meet mine. "Yeah? And what about those shitty merchants and fucking nobles that did their illegal doings in the Underground City? What kind of jobs did you do as a mercenary for hire? Kill someone to another noble's benefit, I guess? Murder an innocent child who happened to witness their secret deals? Terrorize their rivals for gold?"

"Why are you so cynical towards everything?" I rebuffed, eyes ablaze.

Looking as though he was through with me, he shoved his broom aside and coolly walked out the door. "Speak for your damn self. You're the same as me, whether you delude yourself into thinking you're otherwise."

"What if they don't want to live?" I stopped him before he could leave. "What if… the people you are trying so hard to keep alive, wishes to die? Would you let them?"

"Our lives are not ours to live alone, Ida." The words rolled off his tongue easily, punishing me. I allowed him to remind me of just how deplorable I was. He knew I was referring to myself. "You know that. If you want to die, make it worthwhile."

Biting on my bottom lip, I allowed him to escape through the door without another word. Bitterly, I continued scrubbing the tables, imagining his smug face on it.

Oh, damn him to the depths of hell.

Did I mention he was beyond frustrating as well?

But then again, how could someone so strong and honorable like him, possibly understand someone as cowardly and dishonorable as me?

{xx}

Sentimental, scarred, human.

He was like the flicker of the sun dancing at dawn.

His presence alone was condensing, powerful and intimidating. He was so full of life, so full of unquenchable rage that it fueled him. So full of overwhelming determination and conviction. Levi was so imperfectly perfect in my eyes, and every day I begged for his unbreakable wings.

It came to my attention that Levi never smiled. Not the usual cynical smirk he wore with his blasé attitude, a genuine smile. I had never seen a genuine smile on his lips and I couldn't help wondering why.

I watched him from the corner of my eye, his thoughts looking as though they were blurred with the intensity of a storm, his pallid lips failing to part. Was it just me? Or did it look like a ghost had returned to haunt him again?

These moments were few and far between, but at times, I noticed that Levi would wear this solemn expression on his face — emotionless, yet speaking volumes of the dark brooding deep within him.

He looked tormented.

But why?

"It's raining…" I commented from his office couch, realizing he was staring at the raging rain from his window.

Levi made his disinterest to start a conversation with me blatantly clear. "Mm."

"It's beautiful," I smiled softly, staring at the window as well. Not a single soul ventured outside, and the rain continued to pour down mercilessly. I sighed, finding it enthralling and serene.

After a few moments of appreciating the downpour, I turned my attention to my Captain. "…Hey Levi, I realize you've never liked the rain. You always seem more bitter whenever it rains."

"I don't."

"Why? Is it because you're afraid of how dirty the rainwater would be?" I joked playfully, leaning on the couch. With a soft sigh, I closed my eyes. "It's just a little rain, how petty can you get? Honestly, I can never understand you."

"You don't," he stated, his voice suddenly turning cold and sharp. Shocked at the tone of his voice, I snapped my eyes open, only to see him glaring at me. Fury blazed from his eyes, a searing fire that shushed my tongue in an instant. "You never did, so don't fucking say a word about things you don't understand."

I was stunned at his treatment towards me, but I said nothing. Thankfully, I was perceptive enough to infer that there was a bitter memory attached to the sounds of pattering raindrops. It has come to my attention that Levi abhorred the rain, and being ignorant of the details, I probed a little too deep and had calibrated dangerous sparks.

Later, I was informed by Erwin that Farlan and Isabel died in the horror of bombarding rain, the gut-wrenching image of their disfigured corpses haunting Levi for an eternity.

It was then that I realized how scarred he was, and that whatever our souls were made of, both of us were the same.

He abhorred something as beautiful and serene rain because of the bitter memory that was attached to it. I abhorred something as beautiful as living because it was my existence that caused the downfall of everyone around me.

Levi was human after all; he was human like me.

He was just as scarred as I was.

But why was it that I found relief in that statement?

Maybe it was because I realized he wasn't that untouchable after all.

And perhaps, just perhaps, he would be able to understand me.

{xx}

Vicious, dark, sadist,

He frightened me, more than any Titan or any breathing man. Levi Ackerman truly frightened me, though I had never shown it. I was afraid to even speak of it, knowing that it would breathe life into that fact. Looking at him with his perfectly polished appearance paired with that prim cravat and those obsessive cleaning tendencies, I sometimes forget that he was an ex-criminal and that he once inhabited the sinful, merciless underground streets.

Just like me, this man knew of the hardships down there and had done horrible things in order to survive.

I watched him tear into the Female Titan today, issuing sadistic threats and degrading remarks as though the monster in him had finally emerged after years of keeping it at bay. Threatening to cut her from limb to limb, Levi never looked more frightening. Sometimes I forget that I too once lived in the Underground City, overlooking the fact that Levi had as well. But it was at times like this that I can't help but remember.

I wondered if I ever looked as frightening as he did whenever I took a life in the past.

But while we were so similar in so many ways, Levi was different from me. He was blunt, realistic and embraced who he was, while I foolishly tried to play pretend. I couldn't accept who I was, or to put it in more frank terms, who I'd become. My sins couldn't be wiped off the slate. Even now, I could remember the exact number of lives I had taken.

Fifty-six.

Fifty-six lives I'd stolen with these very tainted hands.

I wondered if I was so attached to Levi because only tainted hands could embrace each other without fear.

Later on, I met with my comrades. Death had touched him and the light in their eyes had long faded when we arrived. I said my final goodbyes to Petra, Eld, Oluo, and Gunther. Like piercing icicles, the guilt punctured my heart continuously as I soaked into the blatant reality, sending me to hell and back like a never-ending nightmare.

But Levi was there, and he offered me his hand.

"Stand," he said, composed and as cool as ever.

His words were as clear as day and reverberated straight through my heart like an arrow. I took his hand without much hesitation, though I wanted nothing more than to fall into an endless abyss of brooding and sorrow.

Much to my surprise, the tainted hands that had bathed in blood were warm.

I wasn't sure if I could do it. So far I've barely been escaping the nightmares with my heart and soul still intact. Maybe it was the stare of those haunting grey eyes that kept me sane.

I should have perished with the rest of my squad, but I didn't. I stayed on, and I fought beside him. We met up with Mikasa and we managed to retrieve Eren Yeager from the Female Titan.

Resentfully, I realized that I had changed ever since I have joined the Survey corps. I wanted to live. More than anything, I wanted to live for the people I had grown to care about.

But why was it that I, who killed, was attached to life more tenaciously than anyone else?

How can a sinner possibly be allowed to live? To be happy?

I wasn't that afraid of Levi anymore, because underneath all that darkness, he was warm.

And from then on, I craved that warmness every day.

{xx}

Caring, perceptive, loving.

The sky bled a dark hue, flashes illuminating the countenance of the earth. I stood at the rooftop of the headquarters, watching the starry skies. Staring absentmindedly at the stars, an empty pleasure was carved into the deep grooves of my features. I couldn't sleep.

I bumped into Levi coming onto the balcony just as I was about to turn around and leave.

The air outside hovered an opaque hue, the solidity making it almost difficult to push through. Lowering my head to hide the guilt that still swam within my eyes, I quickly trudged past him without a word. But he held me back when he grabbed my arm.

"Where do you think you're going?" he demanded, and I winced at his vice-like grip.

I sucked in a harsh breath, trying to calm the erratic frustration bubbling in my heart. "To sleep?"

"You can't fall asleep." It wasn't really a question, more of a blatant submission awaiting confirmation.

"...Yeah, I can't," I admitted with gritted teeth after awhile, saving myself from any of Levi's attempts to defame me. "I… still think of them. I see them."

Days had passed since the incident with the Female Titan, and even now, the hollow eyes of my squadmates haunted me like a stalking shadow. I was a slave to them, bound to it for eternity.

"Do you see them too?" I inquired in a soft voice before I could stop myself. The night air felt cold, and I rubbed my arms in an attempt to warm them. I was sure that he understood who I was referring to.

He unclasped the cloak from around his neck, and I suddenly found my vision darkened — he had draped his cloak over me. I pushed it out of my vision, blinking in surprise.

"Every day," he answered plainly, sending me a lethal yet oddly sorrowful gaze.

It was one of those times, I realized. A vulnerable moment where Levi had miraculously let his guard down and was being honest about his feelings.

The ghost of the past rested faithfully in the glint of my eyes. "How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

I averted my eyes from him shamefully. "Cope with it… I've been in the legion for more than a year, but I still can't accept it… I can't live like this…"

The crease between his brows tightened. "And what makes you say that I'm the best person to give you the advice you need?"

"Because you're the only one like me. We're the same type of people — the tainted. But you're different, stronger than me. More composed."

He paused as though thinking of not offering me a reply, but he did.

"Everyone here is tainted after joining the Survey Corps…" he replied quietly, so quiet that I almost missed what he said. I could sense the underlying hatred in that statement. "...You remember their deaths, and you replay the scenes..." His voice was more shattering than the whip of lightning. "You replay it, over and over again, and preserve it in your memory for eternity. Until you can't cry anymore until you're completely numb."

I grimaced bitterly at his ominous words. Somehow, Levi was always a soul with few words and a fusion of silent anger. I was more like a ball of uncontrollable fire and he was like the rain that washed me away.

I bit my lower lip. "Will I be able to deal with it then?"

"I don't know," he answered after a long pause.

I watched as he swallowed stiffly and turned to face the night sky, breathing in deeply as if it would help chase away any forlorn feelings he might have possessed.

"…Levi, do you remember what I said about stars?" I found myself asking, clutching his cloak around me as I joined him in gazing at the starry skies.

"That when people die, they become the brightest star in the sky to watch over the people that they left behind?" he drawled in a dull monotone. I nodded slowly, slightly surprised that he remembered.

He scoffed at my confirmation, more out of humor than distaste. "That stupid story?"

"Yes." I smiled softly as I gazed into the night sky that seems to stretch into eternity.

At the headquarters of the legion, we were surrounded by a dense forest. But at the highest building where we were, we could see the small lights from the towns nearby. Suddenly, the world seemed less daunting with him by my side.

"That's a damn stupid way to think," he commented icily, rolling his eyes away and crossing his arms. "As if you can't get any stupider," he added.

Ah, there it was, his infamous sharp tongue.

"It isn't stupid. Have you never heard of Neverland?" I couldn't retract my statements, so naturally, I tried to play along.

If it was possible, Levi's deadpan glare darkened at my question. I secretly found myself wishing that I was there to witness a more pleasant expression gracing his features. He would certainly appear more handsome than he already was.

"No."

"I read about it in a book once, but it's about the outside world so it's banned," I said softly, hesitant to start. Bowing my head down after I took one last glance at the starry skies, I smiled as I recalled the fond memory. "… I'll show it to you one day if I ever find another copy."

He snorted at my answer, as though disbelieving that I would actually ask him to read an illegal book. But much to my surprise he asked, "What is it about?"

"It's about a woman who desired freedom but she was trapped within the Walls. But one day a man that could fly came down from the sky and brought her up to the brightest star." I pointed my finger at the most vivid diamond I could spot in the sky. "That's where Neverland is; that's where freedom was. I guess the book is banned because it depicts life outside the walls, or because it encourages one to seek freedom from the walls."

I saw Levi's lips tighten. "What happened in the end?"

"I don't know," I sighed wistfully. "I never got to read it to the end. The Wall fell, and the book was lost in the ruins of my house I suppose."

He furrowed his brows in question. "Then how would you know Neverland was really where freedom was?"

"Because, Wendy loved Peter, and wherever Peter was, freedom would follow."

His eyes traced over mine as if to study them but then darted away hastily. "…Aren't you tired of pretending, Ida?"

His voice sounded exasperated like he was disappointed in me. I wondered why, but I was convinced I shouldn't question him any further and should instead focus on the main problem. I knew what he was asking about. Levi was accusing me of pretending to be fine when I was not, just like he always had.

Strangely, he was always able to read me like an open book.

I shrugged my shoulders idly, his warm cloak shielding me from the cold night air. "I was... until the person I was trying to pretend became me. Wasn't it the same for you?"

He kept his silence for a long time afterward, and although my eyes would probe him for an answer, his reply never came. Yet the silence was deeply gratifying, and I silently basked in his presence.

"…Levi..."

"What?"

I kept silent, the words suddenly stuck in my throat as he turned around to look me in the eyes.

Though I was sure I was imagining things, I watched his glare softened a little when he saw how tense I look, and he quickly looked away. "Just spit it out, Ida."

I swallowed thickly, and I took a good long look at him. The spark in his eyes still lived, the unmatched electricity that never stopped burning. Yet somehow, today it seemed to have faded in its vigor. Still, Levi was like a freight train, fearlessly plowing through life, and for once a burning desire to change it tingles at my fingertips.

I clutched the warm cloak around me tighter, as though it would protect me from the world.

"…If I ever go to Neverland, I'd watch over you."

Another soft silence. But more defenseless in personality.

"I would too." He replied softly, and I smiled secretly behind my bangs.

But Levi, I pray that I would go to Neverland with you.

When we paid for our sins enough and after our long arduous fight to reach Neverland where freedom is...

I truly wish that I could go there with you.

You, out of everyone, deserves that.

You deserve to be free.

Even if it means forsaking me.

{xx}

Hate breeds passion, passion breeds love and love breeds grief. All things must come full circle, and maybe the time for the end had come.

Levi Ackerman.

The man I love. That name only brought me warmth.

I'd finally managed to break into the rock.

Though it was only one tiny crack, I had managed to break the unbreakable.

But I no longer wanted the source of his power. I no longer wanted his wings.

I wanted him. He was my source of power.

And honestly, even with the way things are now, I have no regrets.

Because I knew that even if the world ended with Titans plowing through the city and tearing everything apart, or if one of us were to depart to Neverland before the other... I have no regrets, for even if it was a brief moment; we were finally honest with one another...

But as I rode for Starke Mansion on a mission, I came to understand that memories do not always soften with time — some grow edges like knives. I took in my surroundings as that thought came to my mind, picturing my squad riding by my side.

I had once thought that silence was peaceful, but in reality, it wasn't. Ever since I left them, I craved for someone to speak to, someone to remind me that everything that happened had been a long dream… I recalled the first time I rode out on an expedition with the legion, and how I decided to join the Survey Corps to discover what freedom truly was.

But freedom was not at a physical place.

Freedom was not tasting the saltwater sea.

Freedom was not running through the lands of fire.

Freedom was at where the people I love resided.

Freedom was wanting to live a second day, just so you could be with the people you love.

Freedom was loving yourself and those around you.

I was freed from myself and my sins when I am with them. The steel cages that had kept my heart locked and my soul empty finally broke and set me free. The bad memories, the person that I was, my traumatic experiences; everything was gone. I felt liberated. I felt loved. I felt peace.

I felt freedom when I was around them the people I loved.

But freedom was defined differently for everyone.

And now, I am willing to forsake my definition of freedom for the people that I love.

I needed to protect them in their fight for their freedom.

What was it that Peter said to Wendy when she had to go back to the world below...?

Ah, I remember.

"Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting."

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Through Flames in her heart

(This drabble is written in Levi's point of view)

Foolish, intemperate, volatile.

I found myself staring at her, that damned newcomer who was Erwin's lost-long daughter. This was the fearless brat who had single-handedly taken out three scouts during her battle with Erwin's forces when they tried to capture her in the Underground City.

This meek, petite and vulnerable looking woman…

Tch, as if looks couldn't be any more damn deceiving.

She was just another girl corrupted by the world. Comparing her with the intelligent and cautious Erwin, I could hardly even believe that this damned woman was his daughter.

A genuine brat, if I do say so myself. She was indifferent to everything, an isolated, exclusionary type of woman who clearly gave no fucks about anyone around her.

However, that stoic scarred personality of hers was exactly why I found myself observing her more often than I would like. That hollow gaze, as if she had it firmly fixed on someone right before her was intriguing — a sorrowful somber thirst for blood that she could never quench. I could sense it the moment I saw her; stone-faced, shoulders stiff as if her fragile back could carry the weight of the world.

Alone again, I thought to myself as I watched her sit by herself in the mess hall.

Though everyone was exceptionally noisy today seeing as it was the day before the expedition, Ida was as hard and stoic as stone. Instead of taking part in the novel festivities around her, she remained content with staying in her own chair and downing glass after glass of ale.

My bored eyes scanned over every face and I took a moment to be thankful for every life still here. A room filled with survivors, smiling and laughing jovially. These soldiers had beaten the odds and lived to see another day. This was a room filled with hopes and dreams, fears and aspirations, and people from all walks of life who had come together with the single goal of humanity's freedom.

Though the unhindered joy was palpable in every corner of the room, there was an underlying fear that lingered in the shadows. Tomorrow was the expedition, the first that damned brat would embark on.

At this thought, I found myself watching her from the corner of my eye again.

Occasionally, she would make a short statement when prompted by either Petra or Oluo, but other than that she was completely silent.

Before I could even comprehend what my stupid legs were doing, I found myself walking towards her and taking the empty seat in front of her. She didn't even need to raise her head to know that it was me.

"What do you want?" she asked lifelessly. "Here to badger me about safety and precautions again?"

"Drink," I said to her, more of a command than anything. "Why aren't you talking with anyone?"

"Cause I don't even know what the hell they're celebrating," she replied without filter, as though the question had been bugging her mind for ages and she needed to know the answer. "So why don't you tell me? Is it that great to celebrate one's potential last day on earth, seeing as so many people are predicted to be dead by tomorrow? This celebration is uncouth."

Petra suddenly butted in out of nowhere, her lips pouting. "I know how you feel, Ida. You're afraid. I understand that, but for now, we just want to create memories together."

"Memories?" Ida scoffed in disbelief. "What good will memories be when everyone's cold on the floor, disemboweled into hundreds of pieces?"

"It's just to boost up the legion's morales, Ida," Gunther added in, a little unnerved by her graphic description. "Tomorrow's a long day and it's better for—"

"Then this whole party is delusional isn't it?" Ida intervened sharply. "It's all to mask the fact that everyone is crapping their pants over the expedition tomorrow."

What she needs is to correct that damn cynicism. I scowled to myself, watching her. The damned woman is going to get herself killed if she keeps this up.

Hopeless. It wasn't as if I couldn't understand her. But to feel so cynical and negative about everything...

Does this woman not harbor an ounce of hope at all?

Then again, I remembered she was a survivor of the Shiganshina District. It wasn't as though she hadn't witnessed a Titan tearing into someone before.

Keeping my arms folded across my chest, I pondered over whether or not to intervene as Gunther and Petra tried to placate the redhead. But the longer the others tried to talk to her, the more Ida seemed to recoil, and the harder my resolve became to break the woman out of her pathetic delusion.

After several minutes of watching my team get absolutely nowhere, I finally became fed up.

"Just leave the damn woman to nurse her bloody depression," I finally snapped. I felt her steely eyes trained on me, but I ignored it. "Everyone is going to die, she says. When in actual fact, that suicidal brat wants to die more than anyone else."

Petra and Guthner could sense the tension between us and tried to diffuse the situation quickly before it got out of hand, but I continued mercilessly. I needed to knock some sense into her, or she would be more of a liability than an asset tomorrow.

"People die every damn day. It's a fact of life; do yourself a favor and quit acting like an insolent damned toddler throwing a tantrum and get over it."

Right as I finished, something in Ida's gaze snapped and in a swift moment of uncontrollable emotion, she slammed the table with her hand and her chair was sent reeling to the ground as she stood up angrily. I smirked to myself at her reaction, knowing that I had hit a sensitive spot.

"So is that it? You enjoy seeing me fail and stumble?!" she choked out, glaring at me with such indignation that it sent everyone in the room reeling from shock at her behavior. "Whatever I do, be it training, grieving or cleaning up your own bloody shit, nothing can ever fucking satisfy you! I can't even give my two-cents on anything without you breathing down my bloody throat!"

Everyone was staring at her in astonishment as a mix of emotions played across her face. But I did not flinch at her sudden outburst, and neither did I feel any sort of anger. It was exactly what I was aiming for.

She was venting her frustration at me.

It was only natural for her to do so. And it was an experience that I had encountered many times before; the anger of devastated soldiers as they struggle to comprehend how I keep myself so calm among all the chaos that's happening. And they often resorted to screaming and insults as they expressed their pain.

I calmly looked at Ida and saw nothing but a devastated soldier who didn't know how to deal with her grief.

"Nothing is good enough for you is that it?" She demanded, turning red-faced as her teeth clashed. "Yes, I'm subpar as a soldier! Yes, I will never be as perfect as you! Yes, I can never match up to your expectations!"

I contented myself to simply listen to her scathing words, letting it roll off me as I remained unaffected. Nothing I hadn't heard before.

But what she did next had me suppressing my shock along with my gaping team members, though I was careful not to display it on my features.

Grabbing her black cloak from the table edge, she hastily fastened it on her neck. "So if I'm that much of a liability, then I fucking quit! Since I can never be the damn soldier you expect me to be! I can never match up to your caliber! Throw me into the fucking dungeons if you fucking want to!"

I felt my eyes expand. Never had Ida ever said she would leave the Survey Corps. After the amount of bullshit I'd thrown at her, she was like a damn unbreakable wall that would never concede.

"Yes, Levi. You win." Ida threw those words at me in such a way that I almost felt a pang of guilt. "I can't save anyone. I'm not strong enough."

I could have fucking swore it, but there was a trace amount of hurt in her voice that was almost undetectable. The one thing I was damn sure about was that her words were unsettling. So unsettling that something lodged in my throat.

The neighboring tables murmured softly to themselves as Ida stormed out of the room, my team members frozen in their seats at Ida's belligerent rant. I found myself chasing after her before I could stop myself.

I entered the hallways and saw her storming down the halls towards the exit. "This is an order, Ida Starke. Get back here."

But she ignored my warning and continued her sprint to the hallway. Without realizing it, I stormed towards her and grabbed her by the arm.

"I told you to stop," I growled, anger burning my words. She seemed to heed the underlying steel in my voice as she snapped her eyes to look at me.

"You're full of shit you know?" she spat, fueled by pure unrestrained rage and the alcohol giving her courage. "Does it feel good to make me break like that? Do you feel better when I vent my frustration on you? Isn't that what you wanted all along?!"

With eyes like needles, I could almost feel them stab into my own gray ones as if searching deep inside. Her bright gaze was filled with intuition, and I was overcome with the strangest and most bizarre feeling.

The only way I could describe it as was that someone was trying to decipher me from the inside out, reading what lays behind the outer wall of my being. I somehow knew she wasn't fooled by my harsh words.

"Do not fool yourself, Levi, you're just like me!" Ida screamed at me, holding onto my gaze with determination. "You're as pathetic as me because you too can't save every one of your men that died on the battlefield, even though you so badly want to!"

At this, I frowned. Just when I thought she was done, she threw my grasp off her violently.

"Do you know what Erwin, that bastard, said to me today?" she asked spitefully as if just saying the name of her father was like a thorn in her flesh. "He said everyone had high hopes for me, that I was destined to be a great soldier like you!"

She let out a bitter laugh, one that sounded like it was aimed at herself. I could tell she could sense my confusion, but I thought better than to interrupt the pissing brat halfway through her rant.

"I don't want to be like you!" she screamed when her ice-cold gaze focused on me once again. "I don't want to be a fucking human weapon that can do nothing but kill, over and over again, walking among the corpses of people we call friends! That's why you're so afraid of getting close to anyone, isn't that right?! That's why you fucking sit there and allow soldiers to vent their anger on you! Because you think you're doing them a fucking service! Because you think you're helping them to survive if they throw away all these pathetic things you call emotions!"

As pissed off as I was, the accuracy of her statement stunned me into silence. I glared down at the woman, trying my best to get inside her mind just as she was now in mine. I hated the way she looked at me; accusing and cold, yet brimming with wisdom.

I realized at this point that Ida possessed her father's talent.

She could see through me.

"But then again, I'm destined to be like you…" Ida's voice softened, her shoulders slumping slightly. She chuckled again bitterly under her breath, and it was a laugh that was so cold and self-loathing that even I was disturbed by it.

"Are you going to leave?" I questioned, my tone expecting an answer. Even with all these disturbing thoughts running through my mind, my face was stuck in a stony expression, eyes burning with anger and a million other things.

She stared at me blankly before scoffing — as if she knew I wouldn't hold her back if she chose to leave. "I have nowhere else to go," she muttered resoundingly. "It seems the only path I can walk, is that of yours."

With that, she quickly turned on her heel in the other direction and walked away, as if she didn't want to show me the look on her face.

This time I let her go.

Foolish damned woman, who said you have to be like me?

What I had failed to tell her was that I didn't want to be like me either.

But I blame this damn god-forsaken world. Because being a survivor in this world where you have to watch everyone die around you is excruciating.

And very dangerous.

{xx}

Broken, tainted, childish.

With a frustrated growl aimed at nothing, I opened the door to the hallway and made my way to the mess hall to fetch myself a life-saving concoction of tea. It was in the wee hours of the night and there was not a single soul in sight.

Damn Erwin for giving me that huge ass stack of paperwork.

I looked out of a passing window only to be greeted with the view of dead trees that surrounded our headquarters. Sometime during the night, the weather must have turned brutally cold. A sharp gust of wind howled through the air, chilling my face and sucking all the body-heat from my extremities. I was suddenly thankful for the warmth heating up my gloved hands.

Pissing winter, I frowned to myself. Although the walk from the sleeping quarters to the office building was short, I found myself hurrying to escape from the shivers of the night.

Everyone's probably still fast asleep, I mused to myself offhandedly. That dumbass Hanji better wakes soon or I'd kill myself from the pile of work shit-faced Erwin has me buried under.

With nothing to drown the noise, my boots echoed through the stone structure as I quietly entered the mess hall, expecting to be welcomed with nothing but still, cold silence. Instead, I was greeted with a pair of amber eyes.

"Captain!" Petra immediately stiffened at the sight of me and I frowned when I saw that she was still in her nighttime attire. "Do you need anything?"

"Why are you here?" I questioned, heading straight for the cabinet where I kept my collection of tea leaves. "It's early, go back to sleep. We have a lot of work tomorrow."

Petra shot me a disapproving look as though saying that I should be resting too, but she knew me well enough to know my sleeping habits. "I'm just here for a cup of hot water."

"You usually wake up later," I commented dismissively. I found it odd to encounter Petra at this hour. "Did something happen?"

She blinked at my statement before it dawned upon her that I thought she had some problems; hence the reason she was losing sleep. "Oh! It isn't for me! It's for Ida. She woke up with a nightmare again."

"Again?" I turned my full attention towards her, my eyebrows raised, probing her to elaborate.

Petra and Ida were roommates, seeing as they were the only females in my team. Initially, I had resented the idea of putting that shit-faced disagreeable redhead in the same room as someone else, knowing that it would breed nothing but trouble. But that damned Erwin had insisted. Thankfully, Erwin's plans bore fruit and Ida and Petra got along relatively well now.

Petra sighed as she poured hot water from the kettle. "She wakes up with nightmares all the time, screaming and in a cold sweat. I can't help but wake up because of it."

"Do you want to change rooms?"

"No," she shook her head. "It's not like she could help it and I don't mind really. Sometimes she won't scream, but she'll just curl up on the corner of her bed and stare blankly at the floor. She never says anything about her past, other than what we know, but I presume something happened to her."

I let out an uncharacteristic sigh, thinking about the well-being of my subordinates. It was normal for everyone in the legion to have some emotional baggage, but it seemed Ida carried the heaviest among them.

Whatever had happened, whatever she'd gone through, it was a damn mystery. And how was Petra, or anyone else for that god damned matter, going to help her if that childish brat wouldn't speak about her problems?

Oddly, I didn't feel any pity for Ida's situation even after hearing Petra's insight. Instead, I felt frustrated. She was so much better than this, capable of so much more with her abilities. Though something felt off when I thought of this, and I found my mind wandering.

Something was not right.

"A human weapon."

Yeah, that woman was the damn problem

I tried to shrug it off but my mind automatically flew to the events from weeks before. Once again, the entirety of the fight between Ida and myself came back, and with it, some of my indignant rage.

She said she was destined to become a human weapon, but there she was acting like a piss-poor brat, shivering in her bed in the dead of night. I grimaced at the thought and mentally forced the memory out of my mind.

At that moment, the door flew open. "Petra, I'm heading out—" Ida paused when she saw me before avoiding my gaze, focusing her attention on the ginger beside me instead.

"Where are you going again?" Petra exclaimed out of worry, rushing towards Ida when she saw she was fully dressed and equipped. "I made you some hot water, why don't you drink it and get some more rest?"

Going again? I folded my arms at my chest as I pondered Petra's words. Did this mean that she went out frequently in the middle of the night too? The question I wanted to know though was where the hell did she go?

"I'm just going out to the woods to train again," Ida told her reassuringly, yet her tone gave no room for rebuttals and Petra sighed deeply when she heard it. "I'll be back in time for breakfast, but don't wait up for me."

"Don't you know it's against the rules to go out with your equipment unauthorized?" I interjected sternly, turning my back on her as I poured hot tea into my cup.

I could feel Ida's glare on the back of my head, but surprisingly she didn't fight the matter. "Fine then. I'll put the equipment back."

"Approved," I said, turning around to face her.

She looked at me like I was a psycho. "What?"

"I said your request is approved." I reaffirmed sternly, her eyes narrowed when she understood that I wasn't pulling her leg. But she didn't question my intentions for letting her go out and instead turned to Petra, thanked her and left.

"Captain, are you really going to just let her go?" Petra immediately questioned in disbelief. "It hasn't even been a month since she came back from her first expedition, and she's been doing this every night! She needs to rest, to heal from her injuries!"

"Just let her be," I replied.

"B — But..." Petra tried to retort, however, one look at my expression and she knew to drop the matter entirely.

I entered my office minutes later. It was just as I always left it: meticulously organized, spotlessly clean, and the only objects that littered my desk were a quill, inkwell, and that god awful stack of paperwork off to the side like some freaking tumor.

Ida Starke had a flame within her.

An unsightly red burning flame that rampaged only for strength. It was a flame that had driven her to face death many times, a flame that she couldn't repress or fight against and always lingered around. A flame that was the source of her power and driving her to her limits.

A flame that fed and desired only for strength.

Despite her misgivings, it was easy to tell that Ida wanted to become a human weapon because it was the only way she thought she could be strong.

I set my cup down, but instead of sitting down and getting some work done, I walked to my window and leaned up against it. Soon enough I spotted her, walking towards the forest. I watched as she paused in her steps for a moment like she was catching her breath before shooting her grapple into a nearby tree, her figure swinging into the darkness of the forest.

Have you honestly learned nothing? I wanted to ask her. But I found myself drawing back on that question every time. Because the more people try to help one another, the more harm we do.

History was written by the survivors and she was surely one of them, no matter how broken and tainted she was.

She would prevail.

{xx}

Emotional, poignant, wretched.

It was a beautiful day.

No piss on that, it was a horrible day. This winter was about to turn every soldier into a damn icicle for the Titans. Though it never snowed in this area within Wall Rose, I knew that Wall Sina would be a fucking land of snow by now.

Perhaps that was why Ida was staring so damn intently out of the window as she sat by the fireplace in my office. A forlorn expression covered every inch of her features; she was like a statue made of stone, unmoving and untouchable. Although I detested the scenery of dead trees outside, she seemed to enjoy it.

"Are you thinking about your home?" I questioned, unable to contain my curiosity. Not once had Ida spoken about her childhood or mentioned her mother, but the look on her face spokes volumes; it was that of a child missing their parent.

"I don't have a home," she spoke instantly, like a broken record that could only report the same answer for any question regarding her home.

"It won't snow here," I told her and she nodded her head.

"I know."

"Then what are you waiting for?"

She bore a look of slight surprise when I said this, but she didn't turn to look at me. Her lips thinned.

"I'm waiting for a miracle," Ida answered sarcastically a moment later, just as a look of expectation flashed across her face. "Why the sudden questions though?"

Why?

I covered up my features with a scowl of irritation, hiding the fact that even I didn't know why I was stepping into unwelcome territory. It was clear that Ida was a shut-in kind of a brat, always keeping to herself and never speaking much. Perhaps it was this ambiguity of hers that made me curious.

"Because you're bothering me with your gazing out the damn window, looking all sad and shit. I have work to do," I growled, dipping my quill into the inkpot and scribbling some words onto a piece of paper to make myself appear busy. "Get out. You're dismissed."

"So I am just a bothersome fly to you? Someone you can swat away every single time I inconvenience you?" she said, each of her words falling like blistering drops of acid on my skin.

Her tone got even colder when I didn't even flinch or make an attempt to correct her statement. "You know, I wanted to get along with you after all the shit we went through together. Four expeditions I fought beside you; I thought we could at least get along. But now I see that a bastard like you expects nothing from me than a mindless soldier that'll assist you in any way necessary, then disappear as soon as I so much as irritate you."

I was stunned at her sudden uncharacteristic declaration to get along, but the latter part of the sentence got my anger boiling. I wanted to punish her for insubordination, to yell at her for uprooting my authority. But before I could, she continued again.

"Petra told me that we're all family here," she said, sounding genuinely hurt. "And I was beginning to question how strange my idea of family is — my father disappeared, my mother was ripped apart in front of me, and everyone I knew died. And then I look at my hands and I realized that murderers have no right to deserve any form of happiness."

That last sentence was said with such venom that I could practically see the poison dripping off her lips. With a sudden burst of insight, I remembered that this woman had killed people as well. I never would have suspected that she might be suffering from guilt, let alone having had it haunt her for so many years.

The regret was clear as day on her face. I suddenly understood why Ida valued life so greatly; she would go so far as to risk her own life if it meant there was a chance another could get back to their beds that night safely.

This was the reason why the flame within her rampaged so strongly for strength.

She wanted to repent.

She wanted to never be a victim of circumstances again.

She wanted to move forward in her life with a new family, making her own choices.

"But why the hell am I even telling you this?" she questioned out loud with a bitter laugh, throwing me an icy look that I returned with a glare. She hastily stood up from the chair. "After all, you want nothing but a mindless soldier. I'm nothing but another person in uniform to you. Good day, Captain. I'll be in the courtyard training if you need me."

It was only after she'd left that I happened to glance at my calendar on the desk and realize that today marked the day Wall Maria had fallen.

And it was only then did I conclude how fucking wrecked she truly was, even more than I could have possibly imagined. Her body was a shell that hosted a miserable aching soul, trying to find some sanity in the world around her.

And maybe today, she'd been trying to find some sanity within me.

I wondered how brightly that flame still burned within her.

And I wondered if she was waiting for someone to calm that flame.

{xx}

Stubborn, bright, kind.

Like an innocent child thrown into a world of chaos, helplessly trying to cope with it. Ida was an oddity to me, a strange concoction of violence and kindness. One moment this damned woman could be threatening to skin someone alive over sweets; and the next, she could be all kind and innocent.

Though both her violent and kind sides seemed to retain that annoying stubborn streak.

Somehow I've developed a very good habit of 'stalking' as that pathetic four-eye would call it; however, I prefer to call it 'checking up on my subordinates'.

I pressed my back to the wall beside the door and folded my arms.

"Go and rest will you?" I could hear Ida's stress over and over again. "I told you, I'd settle it if you get in trouble; that bastard will never find out!"

"B — But Ida-san, if Captain ever finds out that you're helping us with our punishment, he'll definitely kill us!" Armin uttered in a shaky voice.

I raised a brow at that statement. Since when have I ever issued a death threat? I was sure the back-breaking assignment of cleaning the entire lobby, mess hall and courtyard was sufficient enough for them to drop dead themselves but calling it a death threat was going too far.

"I'm really hungry though…" I heard Eren complain to Armin and I remembered that those brats had skipped lunch. "Ida-san... will you really help us?"

"I said it's fine!" she hastily replied back. "You guys have done enough work already, there's hardly anything left to do. Just go and get yourself something to eat, I'll cover for you just this once."

"…Okay then…" Eren said unsurely. "Thank you though! I owe you!"

"But what the hell did you two do to incur his wrath?" Ida questioned before they left, though she quickly changed the subject, probably thinking she was better off not knowing. "You two better pull out the diapers from your pants and listen to him before he actually overworks you to death."

"He's pretty harsh…" Armin commented nervously.

"Of course he is," Ida replied curtly. "How else do you think he manages to train soldiers for the Survey Corps? You have to be a devil to train a monster."

I almost scoffed out loud at her sentiment, thinking to myself how often she complained about me being a 'slave-driver'.

After a round of nervous laughs from the boys, they made their way out of the room.

I could have sworn that Eren's and Armin's faces turned ghastly white when they spotted me, but I simply glared at them and gestured my head to the hallway with a nod. They immediately understood my leniency for the matter and hastily sprinted out of sight.

"Slave-driver!" A filthy rag was tossed towards my direction the moment I entered the room but I managed to catch the damn thing before it hit my face.

I glared daggers at Ida, but she simply stood her ground and returned it with a glare of her own. "You saw it didn't you?" she demanded, wanting to know if I knew she was helping the boys.

"Shut up," I growled, throwing the rag to the floor. "Why the pissing hell are you going around doing damn charity work for the brats again? We have to be in the capital for a meeting in three hours."

Ida only returned my indignant look with a smirk, pushing a broom into my arms. "If you're so worried, you'll help right?"

Before I could say anything and voice any disapproval, Ida continued, "Let the brats take a break, everybody needs one."

"Even you?" I pointed out with a raised brow. Somehow I knew my expression was enough to tell her that I knew she'd been training nonstop for the past week.

"Are you showing concern for me, Captain?" she smirked, taking the dirty rag that Eren left behind. "Well, if you don't want me overworked perhaps you should give me a day off."

"Even if I give it to you, you'd spend it with a day in the woods training."

At that, she stayed silent. I smirked to myself as I swept the room, realizing that perhaps over the years, and over everything she'd been through and the support she received, the flame in her was burning softer than before.

Ida Starke was like a Titan charging at you with full force, only that Titan never stopped. Erwin even once went so far as to say that hell would freeze over before Ida ever asked for a break.

Yet, today she seemed much calmer than usual.

"If we hurry, we can make it to the capital earlier and you can go to the sweet shop. Or maybe we can spend the night in Wall Sina, our schedules are cleared tomorrow," I suggested before I could stop myself. Noticing that she was looking at me like I was secretly insane, I cleared my throat and added, "I need to pick up some cleaning supplies as well."

"Really?" she beamed and I hastily turned around to stop her from reading my expression.

Suddenly, I felt something hit the back of my head. Turning around, I found a dirty rag lying on the floor.

I screamed internally from shock when I came to terms with the fact that that dirty imbecilic thing had come into contact with me. Before I could scream at the woman responsible for this, she was already at the door.

"I've gotta go pack then! You'll clean up here won't you?" Ida smiled radiantly at me. "I look forward to our day off!"

That smile of hers made me choke on every single curse word in my very extensive dictionary.

That damned brat.

{xx}

Pure, weak, human.

She was like a burning sun that melted away the endless snow, and I was like the blizzard that froze everything in my path. I was war, while she was peace. I was disaster, while she was beauty. I was sorrow, while she was happiness. I was death, while she was life.

She was my salvation, but I was her destruction.

I watched wordlessly as she crumbled to little pieces bit by bit, trying to get a hold of herself and accept reality. But somewhere deep down inside her, I knew she was screaming.

She was screaming for help.

It was clear to me now that Ida was the type of person that didn't know what balance was like. Being a firsthand witness to this part of her and watching it unfold right in front of me, my heart clenched.

I couldn't take my eyes off of this strange yet impeccable woman. When she was sad, she didn't cry, she poured. When she was happy, she didn't smile, she beamed. When she was angry, she didn't yell, she burned.

And when she mourned, she didn't just grieve, she shattered.

Over the years, I've come to understand that people cope with death differently. Some cry, some drink, and others stay silent for days. Everyone was different yet similar in so many ways. But as I watched Ida Starke slowly bandage my twisted leg after the expedition, the look on her face spoke volumes of the excruciating pain she was feeling.

Petra, Oluo, Eld, Gunther; it wasn't as if I didn't mourn their deaths. Their lives were just as precious to me as they were to her. But yet, I couldn't openly grieve as she did. I could only watch silently as she fell into pieces in front of me, barely holding on to whatever solace she could find.

In some weird fucked up way, I envied her. She was capable of being human; capable of expressing her emotions in that stupid unbalanced way of hers. That in itself was a damn gift in this fucking world.

I heard a scream coming from the end of the hallway shortly after she left, and I burst out of my room. The first scream was out of anger, but the second one... all I heard was pain.

Hanji ran towards me in a panic when thrashing sounds followed soon after.

"Is that…" she asked but held her remaining words back when she saw the darkened look on my face. She shook her head worriedly and tried to walk towards Ida's room, but I held onto her shoulder.

"Leave her," I said stoically, concealing how disturbed I was actually feeling. "Let her be."

Without another word, I went back to my room and closed the door behind me, locking it shut.

"Destined to be a human weapon like me…?" I grumbled out loud, remembering her words and cursing at how much of a cruel joke this was.

In the darkness of my room, I recalled how she told me that she had no other path to walk but that of mine before she'd embarked on her first expedition.

And I remembered how I thought she was a survivor in this cruel world — my own delusions about her strength.

I should have never stopped her from leaving the Survey Corps.

Ida was never fit to be a human weapon in the first place. Neither was she capable of ever walking down the path I walked. It was clear she had the abilities and the skills to be one, but she was too pure, too weak, too human.

I closed my eyes and remembered her burning gaze during our first meeting and how I'd admired her determination and vigor. For the first time in my life, I was mistaken. I should have known better. She wasn't like me.

I had destroyed Ida.

I'd brought her here, to this cruel and wretched battlefield, only to watch her shatter before me.

Before I knew it, the flame within her that screamed for strength burned fiercer than before, so much so that it scorched her to the core.

{xx}

Sorrowful, pitiful, beautiful.

She was so immensely beautiful, even in the way she mourned was a masterpiece in my eyes. Her screams, like a sorrowful ballet that enchanted me to her. It calmed me to see her, to hear her, even when she was grieving. I can't find the damn words to describe her exactly, except that she was beautiful, and she was so tremendously alive and so unlike me.

Yet if she was this beautiful when she was shattering, how radiant would she look when she was happy?

At times, that damned woman would permit a small precious smile to touch her lips, and it was that same smile she wore as armor when she went to war every day. She was fierce, strong, with a heart of a warrior, but she was also maddening, crazy and sometimes she drove me fucking insane.

But if this was the Ida Starke I had come to know, I knew that when she was down, she would get right back up. She was an unstoppable beast in a way of her own.

I heard her before I could even see her. True enough, after a short walk deeper into the forest, her red hair emerged from the dense vegetation. This was one of the rare times where she'd leave her room after the expedition that took almost all of our squad and I sucked in a breath when I realized how long it had been since I had last seen her out.

She let out a cry each time she swung her sword and hit the bark of the tree. I could tell she was exhausted, both physically and mentally drained, but she did it repeatedly as if it was a melody to her soul.

"Ida," I called out to her as I approached her, but that brat didn't even notice me. "Ida!"

I grabbed her shoulder and whipped her around to face me, stopping her from continuing anymore.

"Your damned sword is already blunt," I could only mutter out when I saw her puffy eyes and her disheveled sweaty hair framing her red sweaty face. "Everyone is looking for you… Go back."

I could feel it with my touch, a raging fire that burned ever so strongly again when we lost our squad. It was an unsightly flame within her that could only be calmed by me.

"Stop it," I told her firmly when she said nothing. "Stop doing this. Go back to the headquarters."

"Fuck off," she finally uttered weakly, out of breath. Her eyes were in a daze. "I need to get stronger. It doesn't matter if I am weak, I need more strength, then I'd be a lot more stronger."

That flame in her was forcing her to move again, cutting through countless humans and Titans alike, only caring about being able to continue fighting even if her limbs were barely attached.

It was a flame that made her no different from that of a monster.

I needed to calm it down before it consumes her.

"Stop it!" I demanded strictly and this time she gave me her attention. I tightened my grip on her shoulders as I forced her to look into my eyes. "How long are you going to fucking continue like this?!"

"Until I get strong enough so that no one I care about would ever be taken away from me!" she retorted back as if I already knew the answer and I could feel her grip tightening around her sword. "Fifty…. no hundreds! Even if I piled up millions of Titan corpses, even after all these expeditions and slaughtering so many of them I have only advanced this far! This is my limit, isn't it?! I can't get any stronger than I am!"

"I don't give a rat's ass about what the fuck you think." I rebutted harshly. Anger was my only response to her statement, anger was the only way for me to conceal my concern. "Nobody risked their lives on the battlefield to be protected by you. If they wanted to be protected, they wouldn't have become soldiers in the first place."

"Shut up! You don't understand!"

"But I do," I snapped, and I could feel that she went stiff from the sharpness of my tone. I softened my voice, "I understand, Ida. But right now, there are people who still need you."

I need you, I wanted to add. But I didn't.

The world seemed to have stopped for me and her, but I was brought back to reality when I heard the sounds of her sword dropping to the ground. Choking, she brought her hands to her face and cradled it as she sobbed.

"...T — They really are dead, aren't they?"

The fire within her burned softer, yet the sparks still glowed in her words.

"...Yes…" I murmured after a long pause skipped between us again. As much as I wanted to openly mourn as she did, I needed to be the pillar supporting her now. "They are gone."

Her legs gave in and she finally crumbled to the floor in a wreck. Kneeling down in front of me, sobbing irrecoverably as my confirmation reverberated in her heart and soul.

I wanted to touch her, to comfort her.

But her beauty raged with such an immense fire that even a demon wouldn't dare touch.

{xx}

Determined, powerful, strong.

I stood in my immaculately organized room alone, dressed in not my usual uniform but a casual white shirt and black dress pants. As I buttoned the final buttons on my white dress shirt, I found myself staring at myself in the mirror.

Two weeks had passed since most of my squad had perished. Two very agonizing weeks have passed, and yet sometimes I find myself whipping around, about to call out Oluo for his bickering or to ask Gunther to bring me my report. I could have sworn that Petra would wave me over with a smile on her face any moment now, and I was so goddamn sure Ed was going to burst in the room any damn minute with something to complain about Ida.

But no one came.

No one was left.

No one but me and her — the last two survivors of our squad.

"I brought your black jacket," a voice broke my train of thought, and it took me off guard for I didn't even hear her come into my room. "Can I leave it here, by the bed?"

I turned around to acknowledge Ida with a small nod to my head and it was followed with utter silence. But when I finally met her gaze, I saw that she was studying me, trying to decipher what I was thinking.

"You look…" Ida opened her lips, but she shook her head midway and gingerly placed my jacket on the bed.

"Well?" I finished for her, and she was just about to say something before she relented.

I shrugged as I took in what she was wearing — she was in full uniform, ready to embark on a mission whilst I was exempted on medical leave due to my fucking sprained ankle.

Now that I look at both of us, it seemed that she was the strong and mighty soldier now, while I was the weak and torn down soldier. In her full uniform, the material seemed to elevate her in the sense that it gave her a much more condescending aura.

But one look in her eyes, and I knew. No matter what we were wearing, we were all the same.

We were beyond broken.

"Sit down," she instructed, and my face darkened at her request as I watched her stroll to the cabinets.

"What for?"

"Your hair… It's getting longer and it looks unkempt," Ida simply stated, rummaging through my drawers for my scissors. "You always cut your own hair right? But I do a pretty good job at it too, you know?"

"I can do it myself," I murmured, my tone dismissive. It hadn't occurred to me until now, but I was too caught up in the death of my squad to even bother about my personal appearance.

I cursed inwardly at myself. Ida had noticed that change in my behavior, and I thought back to the countless times I warned her about keeping up with appearances and keeping everything clean.

Somehow, I knew that she understood that it was my way of mourning.

Her countenance hardened and for a moment I thought that she will break out and shout at me, but then the energy drained from her as if she was sick.

At this, I reluctantly conceded with a sigh and sat down on the chair. "Just fucking hurry up with it."

Her cool hands rummaged through my hair and for a long moment there was nothing but the sound of scissors snipping.

"Do you regret it?" I asked hesitantly, thankful that I wasn't able to see her expression. "Do you regret not informing them about the Titan shifters? Do you still think that they might have a better chance or even be alive now if you had told them about the plan?"

We never spoke of our squad until now, as though it was an unspoken taboo. We both had a mutually silent understanding that it would only bring us pain.

"No, I don't," she answered, almost too easily. "Do you?"

I stayed silent. Do I? In my darkest moments of contemplation these past few weeks, perhaps there were certain times where my conscience would eat into me, and I would remember how Ida was so frantic about Erwin's decision to keep silent in order to sniff out the spies, while I heartlessly told her that it was for the good of mankind.

How different we were, and we still are. I was the sword, always ready to strike at a moment's notice. But she was the conscience, burning through the darkness with hesitation.

And many would call her weak for that.

But who says that the strongest doesn't tear? Because from the way I see her now, all dressed in her uniform and ready to embark on another mission to capture the Female Titan; what is stronger is the human heart that shatters over and over again yet still lives.

"It's okay, you know…" Ida murmured in an uncharacteristic demure and soft tone behind me, her graceful fingers holding onto locks of my hair and she trimmed the ends. "It's okay to doubt whether you made the right decision or not sometimes. We all have our reasons. One's right, maybe another's wrong. But I know one thing for sure, they don't blame you, and they never will. They… loved you."

I reached out and grasped her hand, stopping her from saying any more. She jerked at first but then she slowly relaxed and placed another warm hand on my shoulders.

The way she talked, walked and even reacted, who would have guessed that this woman was crumbling apart just a few days ago? It was almost as though she was a brand new person.

And that prospect frightened me.

Just a few days ago, I was struck with so much grief as I heard her screams of pain that I felt my heart shatter to pieces.

"Do you hate me?" I asked, and it was one question that I never thought would ever leave my lips. "For even going as far as to discarding their bodies out there after everything?"

"If that were the case, then you and I won't be alive," she answered warmly and I could imagine a small smile on her lips. "And I'm thankful that you're alive... Thank you, Levi, for being alive..."

I let go of her hand just when her forehead touched the back of my head, and I felt her body shiver. I knew she was crying, but I did nothing but sat frozen in my seat.

I could feel her body heat, and the slight tremors of her shoulders as tears escaped from her eyes, but all I could think was how determined this woman's willpower is and how strong she is.

Bouncing back from a reverie filled with despair, forcing a smile as the world crumbled upon her, threading through the darkness with light.

I admired everything about her.

"Thank you for being alive too," was all I could say.

And I wanted to keep her alive. More than anything, I wanted to see her smile genuinely again.

But how could someone so impossibly dead inside, love someone so impossibly alive?

{xx}

She came to my life like fire; hot and blazing, full of passion. But she left in such a way that left a trail of blood on her path. At night I fall to sleep as if I were drowning in deep water as if I were sinking below the depths as if the water were possessing me, and for a moment I feel a deep relief as if, submerged in water, my grief can drain away.

With unbreakable wings, I watched her soared. Higher and higher, till she reached Neverland. From above her radiance illuminated everything, but I lost my brightest star.

I wanted nothing more than to cripple her wings.

Maybe if I did, she wouldn't be consumed by the fire raging inside of her.

Maybe if I had the fucking courage to selfishly live for myself and not for duty, she wouldn't have left me alone.

Maybe if I had told her I needed her, she would have realized what I wanted the most was to be with her.

But duty is the death of love.

"Hanji," I drawled slowly, not looking up from the ground as we both leaned on the pillars on lookout duty. The Underground was grim, and the night was silent, but my heart was thumping viciously in my chest. "Have you ever heard of a book called Neverland?"

"Not that I could remember," she answered, her voice clear and mellow yet I could feel that she was holding back something.

I looked up and captured her gaze. She looked rather disturbed that I would call her by her name and not 'shitty four-eyes' and I could tell she was trying to decipher the severity of my question.

"Why though?" she asked.

I found myself facing away from her. "It's about a boy, named Peter or whatever his damn name was, who came down from the brightest star, a place called Neverland. He flew down to the walls and met a girl, Wendy. He then brought her to Neverland, promising freedom and she went with him."

"And you want to ask me, why was it that the boy flew down to the walls and brought the girl to Neverland?" she suggested, and it was at that moment I realized that Hanji had read the book before.

I didn't even react to the fact that she kept this from me, I was too worn out to express any form of anger.

Hanji smiled sadly when I didn't reply to her question, "Well, that was because he was lonely."

I paused at that. "What if the girl was never suited to live in Neverland, what if Neverland never existed as he had promised?"

"Did they love each other?"

I stayed frighteningly silent at her words, unable to even move. Somehow, I was terrified of knowing the end of the story.

Hanji released an audible sigh. "Well... then it doesn't matter, does it? Freedom was wherever they wished."

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Rumours Concerning The 104th Trainee Squad you didn't know.

Rumours about Eren Yeager.

1) After the incident with Squad Levi when he accidentally transformed, Eren is said to have to a phobia of spoons.

2) He's secretly nicknamed "Corporal's little bitch" by the legion.

3) Eren Jaeger is still teething, which is why he keeps gnawing on everything, including himself.

4) His teenage angst is said to rival even the most spoilt noble brats in Wall Sina.

5) Hanji Zoe had once tried to get Eren to mate with a Titan (who the scientist had claimed was a female) in his Titan Form. The poor boy got so scared he hid in his closet until Mikasa found him.

6) It was said that the magical reason behind his Titan ability was because one of his parents mated with a Titan.

Rumours about Mikasa Ackerman.

1) Mikasa is said to control everything about her adopted brother Eren, right to the every morsel of food that he consumes.

2) She keeps a hidden journal dedicated to Eren and religiously jots down everything she observes about him, including every odd behaviour, or the time that he goes to the bathroom.

3) Sometimes, in the middle of night, Mikasa sneaks into the boys' dorm and sleeps underneath Eren's bed, attacking and scratching anyone who approaches the sleeping boy.

4) Her red muffler is said to be a prototype developed by the Military and is said to provide her with 'Eren instinct' allowing her to detect Eren's location within a 30 metre radius.

5) It was rumoured that Mikasa was the culprit who had cut the words 'Midget' into Corporal Levi's jackets

6) Mikasa is a famous model for hair conditioners in Wall Sina.

Rumours about Armin Arlert.

1) He prefers standing next to Corporal Levi rather than Mikasa and Eren because it brings him a secret comfort that he will at least be taller than Humanity's strongest.

2) He went on a 'milk-diet' for a week once, praying that it will finally trigger his long-awaited growth spurt.

3) Armin Arlert is the product of the government's attempt to clone Erwin Smith.

4) Every birthday, Armin did not get to blow out his candles because Eren's uncontrollable anger beat him to it.

5) Someone slapped Armin's butt mid-flight once, and he has yet to figure out who.

Rumours about Sasha Braus

1) It was said that she would turn to cannibalism if she were to ever get stranded with no other edible food source, but she retorts happily that "it's better than being with a Titan."

2) She had tried to bite a Titan once during her first expedition just to see 'how it taste'

3) Sasha Braus was said to have even eaten a Titan.

3) She can stuff a total number of 4 whole potatoes in her mouth according to Hanji Zoe's scientific observation.

4) Sasha Braus once killed somebody over a potato.

5) Keith Shadis had a protection order filed against Sasha Braus after he confiscated her potato and she wouldn't stop stalking him to get it back.

Rumours about Jean Kirsten

1) Jean Kristen's distant family members are said to be a rare breed of horses found only in Wall Maria.

2) Jean Kristen could speak 'horse' language in fifteen different accents.

3) Jean Kristen learned all his pick-up lines from popular smut novels in Wall Sina.

4) Jean Kristen is allergic to roses.

5) It was said that his horse is his first cousin, twice removed.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Toupee.

It started with a simple game.

Eren and the rest of the 104th trainee squad were sitting, enjoying their lunch at the headquarters until Connie suggested a simple game of truth or dare. Everyone agreed, the day having been mundane and listless. So they decided it wouldn't hurt.

It started with Mikasa refusing to answer the question that Eren asked on who she liked, and so she was made to go up to Levi and pledged her allegiance while the stunned Captain looked at her in pure bewilderment.

Sasha was up next. She happily opted for an adventurous dare and was made to eat a can of expired herring, which she enthusiastically obliged to.

Armin, who opted for truth was forced to tell his most embarrassing moment to which he hesitantly answered with a blush. "On the first day of trainee camp, Instructor Keith Shadis thought I was a girl..."

The game went on, creating surprise and laughter in the gang as the dares and questions increased in intensity.

Finally, it came down to Eren, who was made to answer who he thought was the prettiest girl in the legion. Eren, while blushing softly, pointed to Mikasa by the corner, who looked pleasantly surprised. The boy tried futilely to explain himself by saying that it was because they were good friends, causing Mikasa's small smile to quickly avert to a glare.

Jean, however, didn't really look happy to hear that, so when it finally came down to Connie's turn and he bravely announced he wanted a dare, the ash-haired male leaned forward and snarled, "Dare? Fine, you have four options then. Choose between stealing Captain Levi's cravat, Ida Starke's sweets, Squad Leader Hanji's Titan dolls or Commander Erwin's toupee!"

Everyone at the table gasped. "That's a bit too much, don't you think?" A bug-eyed Krista politely told Jean. "Do you know what's going to happen if Connie gets caught?"

Jean responded by snuffling cockily, an amused smirk on his lips. "Well, it was Connie's idea to play this stupid game in the first place! He can't back out on the dare now!"

Everyone frowned and looked at the shocked, bald petite male expectedly. Meanwhile, Jean added snidely, "You can't be thinking of backing out of the game YOU wanted to play, right?"

"O — Of course not!' Connie stuttered, his eyes darting back and forth between the members of the group for help. But he knew he couldn't back out, everyone did their dares and answered their questions after all.

Slowly, he clenched his fist defeat. "Fine! I accept your dare!"

His classmates gasped, never expecting Connie to agree to it while Jean cocked his eyebrow up and nodded his head. "Good! So who will it be?"

"U — Uh…"

Darn it. Connie knew what fate had installed for him if he were to get caught, it was inevitable, so he weighed out his choices instead.

Levi and Ida were completely out of question, they would mercilessly cut up him to bite-size pieces if they found out. Hanji seemed more lenient and cheery, but heaven knows that no one wanted to hear her endless titan rant — stealing her precious Titan dolls would certainly send the wrong message to the bespectacled female that he was 'interested' in Titans.

And so, with that in mind, he finally made a decision.

"Commander Erwin's toupee," Connie announced bravely, not wanting to look cowardly. "Wait, are you even sure that he wears a wig?!"

"Of course he does!" Jean smiled, looking over to the chocolate haired boy. "I heard it from Eren!"

Eren nodded his head. "Yeah! I heard he has the finest imported toupee bought in from Wall Sina! Apparently, while Commander Erwin's eyebrows are thick, he suffers from bald spots because he was too stressed out!"

"It looks too perfect if you ask me," Armin added softly.

Well, that confirms it.

"Fine, I'll bring it tonight!"

With that, the game continued on, leaving the poor luckless Connie to ponder over how he was going to pull the feat off.

It was later in the night that Connie decided to make his move. It was after everyone went to bed, and when the leaders of the group were having a meeting. Thankfully, Connie had managed to convince Sasha to help him out by offering her his dinner tomorrow. That girl was so easy to manipulate when it came to food.

Ida raised a brow and nudged Levi beside her, a questioning look on her face when she spotted a nervous-looking Connie on the roof, equipped fully in his gears. "Since when is the usage of gears authorized? Isn't it past curfew?"

"Tch. Brats will always be brats." Levi scoffed darkly and pivoted his heel in the other direction. He decided that he wanted nothing to do with the squabbling hyperactive teenagers today and entered the meeting room with Ida following in shortly after.

"Commander Erwin!" Sasha bounced towards the approaching blonde the moment he appeared. She looked out of breath when she went into a stiff salute. "Sir!"

Erwin looked up from his stacks of papers curiously. "Ah… Blouse, isn't it? You don't look very well. What can I help you with?"

"Potatoes."

Erwin raised a curious brow in response. "Potatoes...?"

"Yes, sir!" Sasha chirped, a dreamy look plastered on her face accompanied by a dribble of drool as she continued, "I came to request for more potatoes to be included in the legion's meals! Hot and steamy potatoes!"

Connie rubbed his face in exasperation. God damn it, we're screwed! The plan was for Sasha to distract Erwin while he lowered himself from the roof using his gears to swipe the Commander's toupee off his head, but surely Erwin realized something was off by now.

Who the hell waits for the elite Commander outside the meeting room at such a late hour all because of potatoes anyway?!

Thankfully, Erwin didn't notice anything strange. This must be the trainee that Ida told me about — the rabid dog that goes crazy over food, he concluded. He cleared his throat and said, "I'd have to talk to Nifa about the budget first, but I'll see to it that we have more... uh, potatoes in the meals..."

Erwin had meant to placate the young brunette so that she would hopefully leave him alone to tend to more important matters, but unfortunately, it seemed to have a different effect on Sasha.

"Oh my god, really?!" Sasha squealed over-excitedly, suddenly forgetting her role in distracting Erwin. She bounced up closer to Erwin, who angled himself away awkwardly. "Thank you! Thank you! You don't know how I've been starving these past few days! I really can't live without food, especially potatoes! I would've died without them!"

"Yes..." Erwin chuckled nervously, moving away calmly. He was used to handling overly fanatical people — years of working with Hanji had paid off. "I'm sure we would… uh, die without food..."

"No! No!" Sasha shook her head vigorously, her drool flying all around. "Potatoes, meat, bread! I can't live without them! They are my world!"

Erwin laughed nervously again, darting his shifty eyes around. Now, where was Levi when he needed him?

Above on the roof, Connie released a sigh out relief. Seeing the opportunity while Erwin was composedly trying to settle a fanatical Sasha down, he lowered himself down as quietly as possible using his gears, his hand reaching out slowly… and…

PULL!

"Ah!"

"Shit! He's not wearing a toupee! It's real! Run for it, Sasha!"

And this was how Sasha and Connie learned that Commander Erwin does not wear a toupee.

Let's just say that both of them had a swell time the next day when Levi made them wash the entire legion's linens as punishment all while skipping meals.

"Should we help them, Ymir?" Krista spoke softly, watching Sasha cry her eyes out over missing lunch while she scrubbed the sheets in the courtyard.

"Tsk. It's their fault for listening to what Eren says in the first place," was Ymir's flat, snark-tinged reply.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

The Ultimate Guide to Surviving in the Survey Corps for newcomers, written by Armin Arlert.

A message from the author:

I'd like to thank Mikasa and Eren for being there and supporting me while I was writing this book, I could never have done it without them!

So, during classes yesterday led by Moblit we were informed that Commander Erwin was looking for new innovative ways to recruit more trainees into the Survey Corps.

Of course, the thought of battling Titans beyond the walls and being at constant risk with your life is no way near appealing, even if it was a much respectable job with high honor.

As many already know, the Survey Corps already has a limited number of volunteers and that number is diminished every expedition, thus the infamy surrounding the body count frightens most away from joining.

After listening to Squad Leader Hanji's rather peculiar recruiting suggestions in an attempt to recruit some volunteers which comes in the form of distributing flyers with the words "Life might be short, but Captain Levi is shorter! Come join the Survey Corps today!" in bold, I've decided to help Commander Erwin out by writing a guide on how to survive in the Survey Corps for the potential future volunteers!

Apart from the usual battle strategy and tactics such as the long-distance formation and learning to battle while on horseback during expeditions, I believe there is more to surviving in the legion than constant training and strategic planning.

In fact, the battle for your life doesn't stop once you enter the Walls. Many might think the scouts are safe, but being in the legion for over three months, I dare say that it is just misguided information.

Though usually unspoken, it's a constant battle for your life here in the daily life of being a freshly enlisted scout. This guide will help you, and everything here was tested and proven to have worked by yours truly!

I hope you find my advice useful and we look forward to seeing you in the Survey Corps!

The Basic Necessities:

Being humans, we all have basic needs that need to be fulfilled. One, for example, is the need for food and water. While the Survey Corps provides plenty of nutritious food to keep soldiers strong and ready for battle — what our instructors never tell us is that we literally have to 'battle' for our food as well.

Every day at 7 PM, the scouts gather at the mess hall for dinner and that is when the wars truly begin. Getting pushed around, trampled on, having threats thrown in every direction as the soldiers rush and fight over the best serving and cuts, I would've probably died if it wasn't for Mikasa saving me all the time.

If you want to have rough imagery of how it's like at dinner time in the legion, just think of hundreds of Titans charging at full speed at a single human — the kitchen lady.

Though this is not the case for high-ranking officers who have special priorities in being first in line, I can't say the same for the recently enlisted scout like myself, especially when you're small in size.

And even when you manage to obtain a few precious morsels of food, there are certain people in the legion — especially when it comes down to a ponytail brunette classmate of mine — who would mercilessly snatch and steal right off your plate all just for your scraps.

This is when I've to come up with certain tactics to protect my dinner. Certain tips I have learned are to direct Sasha's attention to Jean's or Connie's plate or to literally scarf down your food in record timing. But I wouldn't recommend the latter, heaven knows how many times I had accidentally choked on my food and Mikasa had to help me out.

And so with that said, here are a few more tactics that I've come up with to survive dinner time:

1) Suck up to the Kitchen Lady.

Despite her crooked nose and fiery temper, believe it or not, during dinner time, she's a goddess descended from heaven. Sucking up to her during regular hours has many benefits, such as you could request for her to reserve the best cuts for you and who knows? There have been times where I had an extra loaf of bread on my plate.

2) Stand beside someone really intimidating.

Captain Levi would be a good choice when it comes to this, as small in stature as that man may seem, he makes up for it with his dominating aura which never fails to scare anyone shitless. While he might be one of the most dangerous men in the legion (more on this later), standing beside or behind him has its quirks since whenever he enters the mess hall for dinner, an immediate barrier forms around him as scouts are afraid to bump into him and invoke his wrath.

3) Get someone like Mikasa to do everything for you.

This is pretty self-explanatory, as mean as it may sound, this is not exploitation. I've picked up this tactic after watching Ida Starke comfortably sitting down in the mess hall while Captain Levi collected her food for her (though I am sure she had threatened the man to do her bidding), but this is a foolproof technique and Mikasa really doesn't seem to mind since she has to babysit Eren anyways.

Shelter:

Once you have food, your next priority will be shelter!

I know, this might seem weird, after all, we all have beds assigned to us, but this point really depends on WHO you have as your roommates.

The problem here is not where you are going to sleep, but who your roommates are. Of course, as you climb up the ladder and become an officer, there's a high chance where you will get your own personal room, but regular scouts are assigned to dorms.

Sadly, my assigned roommates are Eren, Jean, and Bertholdt.

Don't get me wrong, they are great comrades and wonderful friends. But sharing a room with them is a different story, let's just say they have rather peculiar… sleeping quirks.

Eren, for example, would jolt awake in the middle of the night half asleep while shouting "TITANS! I'LL KILL THEM ALL!"

Honestly, I don't even understand how he could rage even in his sleep, perhaps this is why Mike-san refers to him as an 'angsty teenage boy with severe life problems'. I've lost count of the number of times I had jolted awake.

Bertholdt, on the other hand, has a habit of sleepwalking. Usually, this is fine with me, but then again, he sleepwalks right into my bed most of the time. Having someone who constantly sweats bullets hug you to sleep is the least bit appealing. I wake up stuck to him whenever this happens. Plus, people might misunderstand us, Mikasa sure did.

Jean snores in bed and I describe it as a mix between a Titan and a horse's neigh. He also whispers Marco's name and it creeps me out since I thought he had a thing for Mikasa. Eren also hears him whispering and he uses it as blackmail to get him to do his chores. This is also the reason why I never take showers with Jean until I have confirmed his sexual orientation.

And then you have Captain Levi and Ida Starke squabbling over something next door in the wee hours of the night, Hanji laughing maniacally, or even Commander Erwin practicing singing 'The Phantom Of The Opera'.

You get my point, it's extremely hard to get a decent night's rest sleep here.

So, when you have roommates like mine the best tip I can give you is to use earplugs, otherwise, you'd be severely sleep-deprived which makes you a more vulnerable target to the Titans!

However, everyone is different, but if you have someone like Bertholdt as your roommate you can use traps around your bed as a safety barrier. I don't recommend this though, Jean got caught in one of my mouse traps before and he hadn't forgiven me since.

Know thy enemies.

This is the most important point OF ALL, and no, I'm not talking about the Titans here.

As many of you might know, the Survey Corps is full of… well to put it in nicer terms — peculiar people. Remember how I said Levi is one of the most dangerous men in the legion?

Yeah, I mean it, literally.

Captain Levi is harsh, demanding and definitely not afraid to cut you down if you put a single toe out of line. Thankfully, most of his wrath is directed to Eren. Albeit sometimes, being in Eren's group of close friends, I sometimes get caught up in the crossfire.

There was a time when Eren and I were cleaning the kitchen and Eren accidentally tripped and dropped Captain Levi's favorite teacup set. When he found out about it (via Connie being a tattletale when Levi intimidated a confession out of him), he chased us all around the headquarters.

Of course, having a rather short superior with a pink apron on (Ida got it for him as a present) was a sight to behold, but it really isn't when you have pieces of broken porcelain from the teacup flying at you in every direction.

Speaking of her, Ida Starke is another formidable target. Sadly for me, she doesn't have any particular target to direct her wrath towards. So sometimes, I end up in her clutches as well.

Once, Krista and I were cleaning the windows using our gears and we accidentally dropped a pail right smack on her head and drenched her. I can never forget the day she literally propelled the pail right up to the second story where I was and knocked me unconscious right in the head. She's harmless unless you managed to piss her off though.

And then there's Hanji… Oh god. I don't know who is scarier, Levi or her. I don't need to elaborate any further on this point, but never, EVER, mention the word 'Titan' in front of her or make fun of her love for her hand-sewn Titan dolls.

Never. Even if your life depends on it.

I still shudder whenever I imagine the fanatical gleam in her glasses as she sadistically chuckles all while tying me up to her experiment chair. Eren, I feel your pain.

You must not underestimate Commander Erwin as well, yeah the man might look like a Greek god descended from the high heavens above with that perfect blonde hair and impeccable eyebrows. He's flawless in every way, even in his speech and amazing intuition. Even though he is composed most of the time, just never, ever, piss him off.

I don't know how to describe it, but when he gets mad, he would suddenly transform from a man who looked like he popped out from a little girl's fairytale books and into a horror story. You know what they say, the people who are usually reserved and composed most of the time are the scariest when they get angry because it's so unpredictable.

Once, as a prank meant for Connie, Jean, Sasha and I (I tagged along unwillingly of course due to Sasha) poured some pink dye into a bottle of shampoo. But unfortunately for us, Erwin accidentally took the shampoo meant for Connie.

Sasha had wanted to see how Connie would look with pink hair saying how he would look like a "pink onion", but we ended up with a pink-haired Erwin.

Oh boy, were we in for a treat when a pink-haired Erwin stormed out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist and completely red-faced. I swear, he was so mad that he literally blew his eyebrows off.

Now that I think of it, I'm grateful to still be alive after going through all that.

So… you must be wondering how I survive all that? You got to know your enemies!

Everyone knows Levi's unhealthy need for cleanliness. So what do you do when you have him chasing you with a broom? Simply divert his attention to another location saying how "dirty" it was. Or you could run to Ida Starke, high chance is that she would be napping somewhere and your screams as Levi brutally slaughtered you would wake her up, she can handle Levi for you.

Also, if you're lucky you'll be run into Mikasa. It's good to have a friend like her around so that she could stand up for you.

Speaking of Ida, she's the easiest to distract. I carry around some sweets in pockets all the time now after watching Eren bribing her to calm down by handing her a few candies.

As for Hanji Zoe, well…

Erwin or Moblit is your best bet. For Pete's sake, do not run into Levi and Ida, things will just get worse because they would blame you and 'shitty glasses' for creating a ruckus. As much as I pity Moblit (I've seen how much he drinks by himself because he's so stressed out over taking care of Hanji), he's amazing when it comes to calming her down. Though he is unsuccessful at times.

And last but not least, Commander Erwin — well, I don't have any tips for you if you managed to awaken his "Titan-state" as referred to by Sasha, just run for your lives.

Hiding in Levi's cleaning supply closet is a good bet, but then again, if you are found out by Levi himself, you're screwed.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Memory Lane

(Short 3-part story of the meeting of Erwin and Elsie as requested)

The tavern was boisterous as usual, with thrifty businessmen, regular town folk and travelers from other regions of the Walls drunk on alcoholic beverages. Erwin Smith donned his trainee uniform with pride as he sat in one of the tables with his drink and bread, but his face was guarded and serious as it always was.

Erwin despised the rowdiness of the local tavern. He would much rather be in the confines of his dorms reading a book. However, his intentions and the company of Nile Doks, his classmate and close friend, kept him pinned in his seat.

His wandering eyes found his way to Marie by the corner of the inn, busy serving her assigned customers. She was a waitress here, and Erwin — being as young as he is — was captivated by her ever since they met in this very tavern weeks ago.

Since then, the tavern had been their favorite drinking spot.

Gentle, soft-spoken with soft golden cascading locks framing her small face, Marie was not only beautiful but extremely charming.

"Stop staring, Erwin," Nile spoke from beside him, his eyes pinned in the very same direction as him. "You're making it too obvious."

"You're staring too, Nile," he answered composedly, not at all abashed.

He knew that Nile, like him, admired Marie. But surprisingly it didn't bother him that much that his classmate had his eyes pinned on the same girl. Nothing like a friendly competition after all.

And Erwin very much enjoyed the competition.

He was young with vivid dreams and, as many had pointed out, was frighteningly ambitious for his age. Erwin knew that joining the Military was the first step to accomplishing his lifelong goal. He had long devoted his life to proving his father's theories true.

Some might find his ambitions insane. It was just bizarre to even think that the first generation's memories had been altered, but Erwin believed in it with a passion, and not mention the fact that and the brutal 'accident' with his father death's (which he was convinced was an act of murder for getting too close to the truth) only served to further motivate him.

"Nile, Erwin!" Marie came running over with her platter, blue eyes wide. "When did you come?"

"We've been here for a while, you were just too busy to notice us," Nile teased with a smirk.

"You look well," was all that Erwin could say when he saw her.

He wasn't as charismatic as Nile when it came to women. 'You're far too serious, Erwin. You're as stiff as a pole,' was what his friend would say to him. As much as he wanted to deny it, sadly he found himself agreeing with Nile's statement whole-heartedly.

Marie regarded Erwin a gentle smile, nodding her head, before Nile pulled her into another conversation, "What have you been up to?"

As the pair conversed, Erwin found himself droning out of the conversation, his mind focused on the memories of his father. The first step was joining the Military, the next was the Survey Corps. As he recalled, Nile did say he would join the Corps too. Erwin couldn't wait to graduate.

He couldn't wait to make this mark in this world.

"Erwin, where are you going?" Nile inquired when he suddenly stood up.

"To the gents," Erwin answered plainly and nodded his head towards Marie. "If you'd excuse me."

With a huff, he weaved through the crowds of drunken customers strategically. He was just about to reach the toilet when suddenly, the person in front of him turned, bumping her drink into him.

"Shit!" The woman cursed and backpedaled when she felt the wet mess on her dress.

"My apologies," Erwin gave her a half-hearted apologetic smile and proceeded to take out a handkerchief from his pocket, handing it to her.

The front part of his uniform was also drenched with ale, but it wasn't that big of a mess compared to the woman's dress.

She snatched the handkerchief from him, and much to his dismay started to glare at him with ferocious intensity.

Feeling awkward, Erwin kept his small smile on. "If you'd excuse me…" he tried to dismiss himself.

He started to move around her, but the woman stopped him.

"Hey eyebrows!" she called loudly over the tavern, blocking his path once more. "Didn't you even see me?! Are you an idiot?" She pointed to his dress, "I loan this from a friend, you know! How am I going to return it now?!"

Bewildered with the accusing tone she was using, he gave a once over at her dress. It was a normal plain long dress, nothing fanciful, and rather humble if he'd say so himself. He guessed she came from very humble origins, seeing that she had to loan even such a simple light grey dress.

Deciding to be the bigger man, he said, "I'm sorry about your dress, ma'am."

"Ugh, how disgusting," she made a face, peeling wet fabric off her skin to look at it. She paused for a moment, looking rather bitter, but suddenly, her face lit up.

Tiptoeing to have better eye contact with him, a mischievous smirk touched her lips. "If you're sorry then... make it up to me, eyebrows!"

He quirked his brow, puzzled at having such close eye-contact with her. This is, indeed, a bizarre woman, he thought. She was half a head shorter than him and had long straight scarlet hair that flowed down to her waist.

He hadn't seen that many people with such intense red-colored hair before, and he wondered if she was from the rural parts of Wall Maria. Even her eyes were unique; a blend of forest green that seemed to glow.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me," the woman huffed, crossing her arms. "Make it up to me."

Okay, now this was getting rather uncomfortable. It wasn't even his fault in the first place and it seemed that this lady was demanding some sort of payment — in coins perhaps? Erwin struggled to retain his composure, thinking to himself just how unreasonable she was.

As much as he would like to call himself a reasonable man, he wasn't going to cough out coin.

"Look," he started seriously. "I'm terribly sorry about your dress but—"

The door to the tavern slammed open at that moment, causing the woman to snap her attention to the door.

Her eyes enlarged and she gasped. "Shit! They found me!"

Before Erwin could react, she grabbed onto his wrist and sprinted out the back door of the tavern, dragging him along.

"Hey! What are you doing?!"

He turned his head to get an idea of just what had caused her to react in such a way and saw that there were four military police soldiers at the door, looking as though they were scanning the area.

"Shut up and just follow me!" she hissed sternly.

Erwin debated on snatching his hand back, but he decided against it. He wouldn't want to fight with a woman — he was too much of a gentleman for something like that. Begrudgingly, he allowed her to lead him out of the tavern back door until they were in another alleyway.

"Safe!" the woman declared victoriously, catching her breath. Then, she broke into a smile and gestured for him to move, "Well, let's get out of here, eyebrows."

"Where are you taking me?" he demanded with a serious frown. "And would you stop calling me eyebrows? My name is Erwin — Erwin Smith."

"Are you always that stiff?" she rolled her eyes dramatically, turning her heel. "And my name is Elsie — just Elsie, nice to meet you, eyebrows."

Erwin emitted a loud sigh, wondering if Nile had noticed his disappearance. "Okay, Elsie…" he started in a strained voice. "What do you want with me?"

"I told you — you have to make it up to me!" she declared with a grin. "So, take me on a tour around Wall Rose! I want to see the marketplace!"

"Tour? Marketplace?" he repeated, appalled by her demands.

"Yeah," Elsie nodded simply as if the request wasn't an absurd thing to ask of a total stranger. "I've never been to Wall Rose before, much less Stohess district, and seeing you're a soldier, you must know the marketplace and routes around it, right?"

Erwin quickly summarized in his head that his intuition was right, Elsie was indeed not from Wall Rose and was from Wall Maria instead.

He shook his head instantly. "I'm sorry, but you'd have to find someone else to be your guide."

Elsie crossed her arms, suddenly looking dejected. "Look, eyebrows, I don't have much time here, and you don't want to crush my one and only dream of visiting the marketplace, do you?"

Erwin knew she was pulling out the guilt card on him. "I apologize for the incident, but I must deny your request."

She sighed gustily, looking away. "You're no fun at all," she mumbled, looking incredibly despondent — and this time it looked rather genuine. "Fine, go back to that stupid tavern then."

She turned around and continued to stroll down the alleyway that led to the streets. As Erwin watched her solemn-looking silhouette, he couldn't help but feel a little guilty. She looked rather eager after all.

"Wait!" he called before he could stop himself, and she turned around with a raised brow. "...I can show you where the marketplace is, but that is all. My friend is waiting for me back at the tavern."

Her green eyes lit up. "Really?! Oh god, thank you! Honestly, I was a little lost!"

He was shocked by her genuine sincerity. He never thought just showing someone the way could ever make someone this happy.

In fact, Elsie was an odd woman, very odd indeed. Silently as they walked down the streets in silence, he found himself observing at her, she looked so ecstatic that she couldn't even hide the excitement in her steps.

He couldn't deny that she was beautiful — with such unique features like scarlet hair, transparent fair skin and vivid haunting eyes that could easily pierce through your soul. He found himself comparing her to Marie's fair, gentle beauty.

Those two were the polar opposite of each other, even in their personality. Marie was gentle, soft-spoken, and humble. Meanwhile, Elsie was reckless, bold and obstinate.

"Wow, this place is buzzing!" Elsie commented in awe, jaws wide at the sight of the bustling marketplace. Immediately, she went over the nearest vendor selling fruits.

"Those look delicious!" she exclaimed, staring at the red apple.

Has this woman ever been to a market place before? Erwin wondered to himself. Well, he supposed that she had lived in a rural farmhouse all her life, probably relying on farming and hunting as ways of survival.

"You could have one if you like," the kind vendor offered with a warm smile.

"Thank you!" Elsie eagerly reached for the ripest one. "I'd see to it that you're repaid for your kindness the next time I come back!"

It looks like she has no money on her as well, Erwin mused to himself, empathetic with her unfortunate situation.

Strangely, Erwin made no attempt to go back to the tavern and instead, followed her around as Elsie particularly fawned over every single thing — which had been rather awkward for him, seeing as they were sights that common people were used to; like the butcher cutting up a chunk of meat or a vendor shouting out his latest wares.

He couldn't deny that he was intrigued, it was like seeing a child's first ride in a horse carriage. It was entertaining to see someone get so excited over something so simple.

"This would be perfect for hiding my hair," Elsie exclaimed with much happiness, handing her red apple to Erwin to hold and trying on a plain hat. The street vendor smiled at her pleasantly.

"Do you hate your hair color?" he asked out of curiosity. He found it quite special.

"No," Elsie answered half-heartedly, took off the hat and smiled almost sadly at it. "It's just that, it's easy to spot me from a distance away… It's a... common trait in my family."

"Would you like to purchase it?" The vendor inquired with crescent eyes.

She thought about it for a moment, then turned to Erwin. "Buy it for me."

Erwin stood there shell-shocked. This was getting ridiculous, not only did she dragged him all the way here, but now Elsie was asking him — a total stranger — to buy her something?

Just how demanding can she get?

Her selfishness could rival the spoilt brats in Wall Sina, Erwin proclaimed inwardly to himself, frowning at her.

He knew it was a bad idea to stick around, and at that moment, he never regretted it more.

Erwin opened his mouth to protest, but then he shut it when he saw her imploring eyes. Damn it, he knew this woman wouldn't take no for an answer anyway. Judging from how she acted just now, it was highly unlikely that she would back down easily without a fight, no matter how invalid her reasoning was.

Erwin sighed in resignation, digging into his pockets to pay for it.

With a yelp of glee, she happily wore the hat while Erwin paid for it reluctantly.

"Thank you," she muttered when they were far away from the vendor, and took the apple back from him. "If… we ever meet again, then I'd pay you back three times over! I promise!"

He wasn't convinced with that statement. "No, it's fine," he replied kindly, sympathizing with her improvised situation and making no attempt to call out on her lie.

"I insist!" she stressed. "But that is if we ever meet again though... Which I doubt."

A thought crossed his mind that moment, remembering how Elsie fled at merely the sight of the Military Police appearing at the tavern. "You don't have to steal to survive, you know, I'm sure that you could land a job somewhere if you tried looking around."

"Steal?!" Elsie looked so appalled by his accusation and she stared at him quizzically. Erwin only gave her a knowing look and she laughed when she realized what he was talking about. "Oh, you mean that incident back at the tavern?"

"Why else would the Military Police be after you?" he asked patiently as if he was talking to an idiot.

"Because…" Elsie trailed off, looking as if she was contemplating over something. Her fingers fiddled nervously with the apple in her hand.

"Well?" he prompted.

"Never mind that," she shook her head, skillfully directing the subject. "Why? Are you planning on enlisting in the Military Police?"

"No, I'm joining the Survey Corps."

"The Survey Corps? You must have big dreams then, all the Corps' officers I've met were always talking about freedom and stuff like that."

He frowned, realizing that she was exactly like other common town folks — thinking of the Survey Corps' ambitions as being too idealistic, cursing them for wasting resources on futile expeditions, and condemning them for sending out men after men to their deaths.

"You look down on them," he stated plainly, slightly offended.

"I don't," she denied instantly. "It's inspiring really — the things that they do for humanity. They go beyond the walls and fight the Titans bravely, and despite failure after failure, they never give up hope."

She paused, looking like she was debating to continue, "Actually... I'm rooting for them. Mankind resorting to living like cattle, the walls are just like a giant cage that keeps us all locked in… I'd like to see mankind live outside one day and gain back their freedom…"

Elsie turned and smiled at him, "Would you want that too?"

"Yes," he answered simply, slightly stunned at her statements.

"Well, that's good then. I thought you'd find me a heretic or odd. But I guess, you'd understand," she rambled on with a rueful smile. "Keeping mankind trapped in this cage, it won't be long before corruption spreads…" she cut off, then laughed bitterly. "Or perhaps it already has…"

Erwin was intrigued by her words. "Corruption?"

"It's nothing," she insisted.

"I bought you that hat, you owe it to me to explain yourself, don't you think?"

Elsie looked stunned, and then glanced around their surroundings as if she was afraid someone would be eavesdropping on their conversation. With a turn of her heel, she threaded towards a quieter street.

"Well, all I'm saying is that with such a confined space, it'd be much easier to control the population, don't you think? The government already made it a taboo to have an interest in the outside world, they're already controlling what people can and cannot dream about. That didn't stop the first generations from telling stories to their children though. I'm just saying that it's wrong — people should be given a right to dream and to hope…"

She spotted a beggar by the end of the street and quickened her pace, squatting down in front of him.

"It's not much, but it's all I have now," she told him with a gentle voice, handing him the red apple.

"T — Thank you!" the man exclaimed, chowing down on the apple instantly and she smiled back sadly.

Erwin watched this exchange in astonishment, it wasn't as if her situation was any better than his and this act of generosity stunned him. She stood up and they continued their walk.

"People… deserve a better world, and perhaps if we had more lands — there wouldn't be people like him," Elsie went on with a softer note. "So what's so bad about dreaming about the world outside? It's not as if our first-generation passed on any information to their children about the world outside, we know... nothing..."

"And, don't you find it odd?" Erwin prompted before he could stop himself.

He knew it was a risky decision — past experiences had proven that possessing too much knowledge gets you killed like his father — but there was something in the way that Elsie spoke that captivated him greatly.

She looked away instantly like she was troubled by his question.

But her silence gave him the confirmation he needed, and Erwin knew better than to ask any more questions.

Both of them silently acknowledged the fact that there was a glaring mystery in the true history that no one had the answer to — it simply was impossible to fully restrict every single first-generation citizen from passing down tales to their descendants.

And so, why was it that no one knew anything about the lands beyond the walls?

"You'd be a fine soldier, eyebrows," she suddenly said, breaking the tense silence. "I just know it, and I'd be waiting to see the results of your ambitions. And maybe one day, after you've defeated all the Titans, you can tour me around the outside world as well."

He grimaced. "That'd be a far-fetched dream though."

She gave him a small gentle smile, the shadow of her hat covering half of her face. "I'd be rooting for you from afar."

This time, Erwin appraised her with a wan smile. It was strange, but somehow, he had managed to form a connection with a stranger at that very moment.

"Why don't you just enlist in the Survey Corps and see the outside world for yourself then?"

She snorted at his suggestion. "Me? In the Military? Hah! My brother would have a fit!"

"You have a brother?"

"A twin," she corrected and Erwin saw that her eyes darkened slightly. "Though... He's nothing like me."

"Why is that?"

She shrugged, a small sad smile touching her lips. "Father died years ago... And Jaron, my brother... Well, he hasn't been the same since..."

Elsie shook her head as if it would shake away her sad smile. "It doesn't matter anyway — I have you to tell me about the world beyond the walls, you'd go on expeditions when you join the Survey Corps right?"

Before Erwin could reply, the sounds of horses advancing caught the pair's attention and suddenly, two horse-drawn carriages pulled up directly on the streets beside them.

Erwin arched a brow, observing the exquisite expensive carriage, and the door to the second carriage swung open.

"I found her!" A soldier donned in the military police uniform scrambled out of the carriage and ran towards them with his gun strapped on his shoulder.

The moment he spotted Erwin beside her, his expression darkened and he took aim instantly. "You there, cadet! Hands behind your back!"

Erwin threw Elsie one horrified glance, shocked by everything that was happening but she was a picturesque of calm. She extended a hand out to shield him. "Stop this at once, he did not abduct me or whatever you idiots are thinking! Lower your guns!"

Erwin watched this exchange in confusion, astonished that the soldier merely gritted his teeth and lowered his gun reluctantly at her instructions.

What was going on?

"Lady Starke," the officer lowered his head respectfully. "I've been tasked to find you and escort you back to your estate in Wall Rose."

"Tch. One noblewoman goes missing and all you idiots instantly think she's kidnapped and goes all up in arms," she growled sardonically, scoffing. Taking off her hat, Elsie sighed. "Honestly, Jaron has to stop using the Military Police for such petty things like this. It's a waste of resources."

Noblewoman? Lady Starke? Military Police?

Realization dawned upon him that very instance, oh how wrong he had been.

Elsie was indeed not from Wall Rose, but from Wall Sina. And from what had remembered, the Starkes owned a great vast of land in the northern parts of Sina. They were one of the most powerful and oldest houses within the Walls.

Elsie wasn't so improvised that she couldn't even afford a dress, she simply didn't own any plain dresses because of her rank. Elsie wasn't a criminal the Military Police were after, she was a curious runaway noble girl who wanted to see how ordinary life functioned.

Then this woman, who has so openly spoken of the outside world minutes ago... Was of noble birth?

"My lady!" Another voice called from the carriage and a woman who looked like a servant came running towards them. "I was worried sick about you! Why did you steal my clothes and runoff by yourself again?! Oh my god, what happened to you?!"

Elsie exhaled deeply, allowing her to assess her soiled stolen dress. "I'm fine, but thank you for your concerns."

Her voice was cool and dignified and her face was heavily guarded. Elsie was nothing like the outgoing unreasonable girl that Erwin had met down at the local tavern.

As Erwin observed her now, she was dignified, well-spoken, and imposing — like a woman of noble birth was expected to be, and this sudden change appalled him.

"I'd come back to the estate later," she told them both with a rigid nod.

"B — But your brother…" The servant protested with a hint of fear.

Elsie pinned her down with a glare. "I said, I'd come back later. Did you not hear me?"

However, on cue to Elsie's firm commands, the first carriage doors slammed open and Erwin's eyes expanded when a young man dressed in finery stepped out. He had the same red hair as Elsie did, and Erwin immediately knew this was her brother — a well-known noble, Jaron Starke.

He was indeed much different than his sister, nobler if he would say. His steps were as dignified as his clothing, and his head was held imposingly high. He walked as if he owned the pavement he stepped on.

Jaron went towards Elsie without even sparing one glance at the rest of the servants or Erwin.

The moment he reached her however, a loud echo pierced the still air when he ruthlessly slapped his sister without mercy, maintaining the same disinterested façade.

"Elsie, maintain your dignity, this is no place for a lady," he commanded in a voice laden with disdain. "I'm the head of the house before I'm your brother, and you will do as I command and leave this instance."

Erwin had expected Elsie to fire back an acid retort, as he had known her to be prone to do, but she merely held her head low obediently, eyes wide with shock while she cupped her reddened cheek.

"Yes, brother…"

Erwin clenched his fist, immediately understanding the situation. Elsie was no more than a woman who craved the freedom she had been deprived of all her life. But he knew better than to act now, he was too calculative and careful to make any risky decisions.

From a young age, Erwin knew it was better to act with your head, not with your feelings. And so, no matter how much he wanted to defend Elsie, he decided against it.

Jaron glanced at him for a few moments, then pulled his eyes away with disinterest. "We're going back to Wall Sina in a week's time," he announced to her in a flat voice. "You requested to follow me on this business trip, and I accepted it. In return, I expect this to never happen again and for you to be on your best behavior — is that understood?"

Elsie bit her lower lip, nodding her head numbly. "Yes, I understand."

"See to it that she is locked in her room," he sternly ordered the servant woman besides his sister. "I'd take my leave first, I've business to attend to."

The servant and officer lowered their heads. "Lord Starke."

And without another word, Jaron threaded back to his carriage and headed towards his next destination.

Erwin was more flabbergasted with Elsie's reaction than anything else, and could only stare blankly at her. She held her head low as though she was ashamed. Moments later, Elsie lifted her head and smiled sweetly as if nothing has ever happened, but her eyes were shimmering with unshed tears.

"I'm sorry for what you had seen," she told him in a gentle voice. Remembering the handkerchief Erwin handed her previously, she returned it. "I'm afraid I have to leave now."

Erwin stared at the handkerchief she had proffered to him but made no attempt to take it. "Keep it," he said instantly.

"B — But—"

"Just take it as a gift," Erwin couldn't help but give her a reassuring smile, noting the red mark on her cheek — it must've hurt. "For you surely need it more than I do."

Elsie smiled at him thankfully, knowing that he was trying to cheer her up. "If we see each other again you'd tell me about the stories of the outside world, right? The stories of what you have seen when you go on expeditions when you're a Survey Corps soldier?"

He paused, hesitant on replying, but Elsie's gaze was urging him to. "I will."

Elsie downcast her gaze and then turned her heel without another word, fixing her gaze on the Military Officer. "This cadet has done nothing wrong — I blackmailed him to tour me around," she lied smoothly, though it wasn't that far of a stretch. "Reward him."

"I understand, Lady Starke," the officer lowered his head.

Elsie sighed ruefully once more before making her way to her carriage. But not before taking one last glance at Erwin who stood awkwardly by the roadside. She smiled softly, one which he returned sympathetically.

As he watched the carriage speed away — Erwin Smith couldn't help but follow it with his gaze.

Elsie Starke, a noblewoman — dreaming of freedom, curious about the outside world and passionate with profound determination to change the world? An odd combination indeed. In fact, to even think that a high-ranking aristocrat would dream of the outside world was bizarre to him.

But, as different as they may seem due to their backgrounds, they were both prisoners to something — she, with her restrictions on freedom under her controlling brother, and him, cemented to the path to the goals he had laid out for himself.

And this was how Elsie Starke came to his life, blazing like the fire-red hair she had, passionate with her words, and leaving with the saddest of goodbyes.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Memory Lane (Part Two)

It was dinner time for the training corps. As usual, the dining hall was as rowdy as ever. Erwin calmly sat in his assigned seat next to Nile and ate his dinner in silence.

"Erwin, Nile!" Lena, one of his classmates came running over. "You guys have been disappearing so often I hardly get to see you! Did you go to the tavern to find that cute girl again?"

"Marie you mean," Erwin corrected, unabashed. "Nile's the one who keeps insisting we go."

Nile snorted beside him. "Why? You want to come with us this time around?"

She rolled her eyes. "What for? I'd rather save up the meager amount of salary we get for something better!"

The door slammed open and one of the instructors popped his head in. At the sight of him, the trainees quieten down instantly. "Keep your volumes down!" he ordered angrily and everyone faltered at the sight of him. He scanned his eyes around the hall, before landing it on a particular blonde. "Smith, you got a visitor."

Nile and Lena immediately snapped their heads to stare at their friend. "Visitor?" they echoed in unison.

Erwin ignored their questions and stood up calmly. "Who is it, sir?"

"Some young lady — she insists on meeting you and won't leave the damn place until I heed her request." The instructor growled, obviously displeased at having to cave into the request of an outsider. "Make it quick and get her to leave!"

"Oi, Erwin, what's this all about?" Nile demanded immediately, swinging his wide eyes to stare at him suspiciously.

"It's not Marie if that's what you're worried about." Erwin sighed, already having a brief idea of the identity of his so-called 'visitor' — there weren't that many people who could be so adamantly stubborn and demanding after all.

The annoying brat is back...

As he predicted, Elsie Starke waved at him energetically the moment he appeared — her red hair and plain dress covered by a heavy brown cloak and the darkness of night.

"So we meet again, eyebrows!" she spoke as if meeting him was a twist of fate and he mentally rolled his eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Erwin frowned, speaking as if he had been inconvenienced and she pinched him at the side in return.

"OW!"

"Is that how you speak to me after I went through all the trouble to sneak out again to look for you?!" Elsie huffed haughtily, waving her clenched fist in the air as if Erwin was the one who asked her here. "I can have you throttled to death you know!"

I will be throttled if your family finds out you sneaked out to find me, Erwin wanted to retort bitterly, but he held it back and cleared his throat, rubbing his face to cool himself. Better get this over and done with…

He crossed his arms seriously. "Okay, what is it you want now?"

She dug into her pockets and threw a heavy pouch at him, smirking triumphantly. "Here, your payment for the hat!" she stated cockily, jutting her chin up. "Not so bad for a thief on the run from the Military Police, don't you think?"

He sighed wearily when he felt the heavy pouch, "Look, Elsie—"

"So, is this the trainee camp?" she cut him off instantly, whirling around. "Wow, it's huge! I had to pay someone to take me here, but it's so worth it!"

With a wide mischievous grin, she pointed at him. "Take me on a tour, the coins inside should be able to pay for your inconvenience and the hat!"

Not this again… Erwin emitted a loud sigh — just what had he gotten himself into? It had been a few days since he had last saw her, and he thought she had been a distant memory by now. Never did he expect her to show up at his camp.

Rubbing his temples, he asked. "You sneaked out again, didn't you?"

She nodded, not at all unabashed.

"So if you are not to get caught again, you have to remain inconspicuous right?"

Elsie stared at him weirdly, then nodded slowly again.

"Hence, I don't think it's a good idea for me to give you a tour of the training grounds — especially since it's off-limits to visitors at a time like this," he explained slowly, hoping that she would be able to grasp the situation and not fight back. "You wouldn't want to get caught would you?"

"Oh, I didn't think about that..." Elsie pouted and tugged his sleeve. "So does this mean I can't stay?"

"Yes," he stated firmly, leveling her down with his firm gaze. He handed her back the pouch of coins. "And… you can't buy people's friendship with money, Elsie."

Her eyes expanded at his gesture, and she looked like she was contemplating over something before she pushed the pouch back to him. "I know…" she murmured guiltily after a long pause, downcasting her eyes. "It's just that I'm lonely, I don't have any friends in Wall Rose."

"Then go back to Wall Sina," he prompted gently. "Surely you can ask your brother to send you back."

A dark cloud crossed her face, "I don't have any friends in Wall Sina either."

"You're a noblewoman. I'm sure you have some friends or acquaintances among your rank," he reasoned.

She let out a laugh of bitter disdain. "Oh them? You mean the ones that surround themselves in fake flattery? Those aren't my friends — my father died two years ago and seeing how young my brother and I are, there are many other nobles hoping to exploit us due to our inexperience. I don't see them as friends."

Erwin bit back his reply, somehow sympathizing with her. With a sigh, he continued to reason tirelessly, "Elsie, I'm sure you know it's wrong for you just to sneak out like that — anyone could kidnap you and blackmail your brother. It's not safe."

"No one knows who I am," Elsie retorted sharply, frowning. "And would you kidnap me and use me for blackmail? I don't think so."

"No, but that's not my point. You shouldn't even be around me."

"Why? Is it because of who I am? That I'm a Starke?"

"No," he argued, but he faltered when she threw him an accusing glare. "Well, yes."

"I don't see how that's a problem — plus you're the only one who understands me somehow," Elsie insisted unyieldingly. "Brother would call me a heretic if I ever talked like that in front of him."

"And that makes us both heretics," Erwin gritted his teeth, desperately trying to get his point across. "It's not safe for you to talk about those things — even in front of me."

"Why is that?" she challenged back. "Would you ever tell anyone what I said?"

"That's not the point."

"You won't," Elsie stated confidentially, her tone unwavering. "I trust you. We're the same kind after all."

Erwin frowned, uncomfortable. "You hardly know me."

"I know that you won't betray me, I know that you desire the liberation of mankind living within this wretched walls, and I know about your ambitions Erwin — you can't hide it," she smirked cleverly when she saw his expression twisted. "So, be my friend — my ally."

She walked towards him, with a calm expression, and then tiptoed to stare at him directly in the eye. Erwin held his breath and etched back a little, uncomfortable by her scrutiny. Then, she laughed and smacked him on his back.

"Nice to meet you, eyebrows. My name is Elsie Starke — and now that we're fast friends," she trailed off and grinned at his confused expression. Her tone was firm, unwavering and strong. "Tell me all about your theories, your dreams, and I'd tell you about mine. Tell me about the experiences in the training corps, and I'd tell you about how the corrupted nobles function in the aristocratic society! If you are to join the Survey Corps, then you should know that they are always at risk of disbanding because the nobles would always oppose the expeditions and threaten not to fund them. This means if you are to achieve your dreams, you have to take down the people on top as well!"

He stared at her, thunderstruck by what she was saying. But Elsie merely continued on, unperturbed.

"I can tell you about everything I know — how to manipulate people, how the corrupted nobility within these walls function; who can even go as far to use illegal means in the Underground City… and in return, you have to tell me about your experiences of the outside world and your military training! To sum it up, I want you to just be my friend," Elsie finished off with a smirk and held her hand out to a stunned Erwin. "Deal?"

Erwin stared at her proffered hand in complete and utter shock, still trying to process what she was saying. It suddenly dawned upon him that unlike the carefree persona she displayed, he realized just how perceptive and witty she was, reckless in her ways yet brimming with vigor passion.

He didn't want to admit it — but her proposal indeed intrigued him.

With a loud sigh, Erwin just had to keep her props for being so insistent and unyielding. If she was an ordinary citizen, he was sure she would triumph all the haggling housewives in the marketplace.

Before he could stop himself, he reached out and grabbed her proffered arm. Erwin knew about how risky it was to associate himself with her, but he decided the gamble might just be worth it. The gains outweighed the risks. If he could get someone as powerful as the Starkes behind him, it would certainly be much easier to climb the ranks of the Survey Corps.

Plus, all Elsie wanted was to have a friend, and he wasn't that heartless to deny such a simple request. She didn't seem all that bad after all.

And that was the beginning of their friendship, though even the calculating Erwin Smith could never predict that it would blossom into something much more than what he had expected.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Memory Lane (Part Three)

He watched her from afar. The air was surprisingly cool today, blessed with a gentle wind and clear skies. She was breathtakingly beautiful in her simple dress that reached her ankles, and the wind picked up strands of her scarlet hair. Barefooted, she walked around the fields, feeling the soil underneath her soles.

Erwin never thought he would be capable of something like this.

He never thought he could be capable of loving a woman.

Elsie was special, the opposite of him, and he guessed perhaps it was why she seemed so mesmerizing. She was carefree, reckless, and passionate — and it bought a certain spark in his dull life. Though she could be crude at times — and unreasonable might he add — but after one year of meeting her back at the tavern, Erwin knew for a fact she had a good compassionate heart.

In truth, she was simply too kind, too gentle.

She would be a loving mother, a doting wife. But when that thought only served to bring forth another series of bitter emotions that he didn't particularly want to deal with right now, he frowned.

He was due to graduate any time now — and then, he understood that he'd have to fully devote himself to mankind and his ambitions. It was obvious to him what was installed for him should he join the Survey Corps, there was a slim chance he'd even be back from the expeditions.

And there was an even slimmer chance that he could ever offer her a life she so deserved.

One with a family, a blissful life. Added with the fact she was a lady with the name Starke and he, a commoner named Smith — he was taking a tenacious bite out of the forbidden fruit. Though their awkward relationship had begun just a few months back, while Elsie was all too drawn to the sweet honey, Erwin was practical enough to look out for the stinging bees.

He wasn't right for her, he didn't deserve her.

Erwin closed his eyes and laid back on a tree trunk and he thought back to his first love, Marie. Or more like infatuation, if he would call it.

Would things be different he had chosen her instead? Probably not. No, Erwin was sure that things wouldn't work out any differently. He wasn't like Nile who had went back on his promise on joining the Survey Corps just two days ago when they got back their results.

"I plan to start a family with her," Nile had said. "And… I can't do it if I'm in the Survey Corps, Erwin. I'm enlisting in the Military Police instead — I need to protect her."

But Erwin Smith wasn't like Nile Doks at all.

He wouldn't stray on his path that he had laid out in front of him, he wouldn't give up his ambitions for a woman — no matter who she was, Elsie or Marie — and that was what was bothering him all day long.

How heartless, how selfish, how cruel…

However, perhaps this was why he was so captivated by Elsie, who had silently acknowledged that even she wouldn't stand in the way of his dreams, no matter how much he loved her. Elsie wouldn't mention it verbally, but she knew that Erwin wouldn't be deterred in any way.

And she respected that.

She accepted that.

She supported him.

In fact, it was one of the things she loved most about Erwin Smith.

"Resilient, confident, and frighteningly cunning," was what she would say. "And you wouldn't be the man I love if you weren't all that."

However, that didn't stop him from feeling a pang of guilt whenever he met her secretly. Elsie deserved so much more, she didn't deserve to be a second option for someone.

"Elsie," he called out, maintaining his cool tone. "We have to go soon, you wouldn't make it back in time back to Wall Sina. It's a day ride to your estate from Wall Rose."

She turned around, the same bright smile spread across her face. Elsie skipped towards him, and took his hands into hers, pulling him out of the shade. "You're always worried about something, you can't just relax for a moment, can you? It's a beautiful day, you should stop frowning, eyebrows."

"It's true though," he argued, not wanting her to get in trouble.

"My brother is away on business," she told him in a carefree tone. "I'd say another three days before he's back home."

He wrapped his arms around her to stop her from pulling him any further out to the fields, "And why is it he is gone again?"

"Are you complaining?" she teased, feigning shock.

"Not when I get to see you," he smiled back at her, pushing the stray strands of red hair from her face. It wasn't like he got to see her often, only whenever Jaron Starke was out of town and she could sneak out.

She laughed musically at his cheesy remark. "Well, perhaps you would be if you found out what's the purpose of his trip." Elsie wriggled herself off his arms and her smile vanished. "He's… discussing my marriage with one of the other noble houses…"

He felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach, however, he managed to retain his composure. "That sounds like a good thing," he commented calmly.

She pinched him playfully, frustrated. "I could get married off you know, doesn't that mean anything to you?!" Elsie screeched angrily and started to storm off, but Erwin grabbed her hand and pulled her back to his arms.

"So… who's the lucky man?" he asked softly, holding her tight as she struggled to get out of his vice-like grip. "I'm sure he wouldn't be as handsome as me."

"Nor have your eyebrows, I bet," she spat bitterly. "He's from the Reiss family, Rod Reiss to be exact."

"A name I'd soon forget…" he murmured, breathing in her scent.

Elsie laughed at his remark, slapping him on the chest playfully.

"You're despicable!" she exclaimed and both of them chuckled. A long stretch of silence passed, and they embraced each other in the middle of the fields — breathing softly, hearing nothing but each other's thumping hearts.

"Well, it's not as if the engagement plans will pull through…" Elsie added softly, breaking the silence. She bit her lip, a frightened look etched on her face.

Erwin raised a curious brow, was it just him or did Elsie sound rather sad when she said that?

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing," she insisted, smiling back at him.

He sighed, deciding not to ask anymore. Elsie wouldn't tell him anyway, she was simply that stubborn and hard-headed. He dropped himself to the ground, sitting on the fields before he fell back to the soft grass with a satisfied sigh.

"What are you doing?" Elsie asked, puzzled with his uncharacteristic change of behavior.

He opened one eye to look at her. "Relaxing, that's what you told me to do right? It's a beautiful day."

She smiled softly at him, before joining him on the ground, lying next to him. With a sigh, she closed her eyes as well, allowing the gentle wind to caress her cheeks and carry the fresh crisp scent of grass.

"Why is your brother so controlling anyway?" Erwin inquired to continue the conversation.

Elsie stared up at the open sky, breathing in deeply before she answered. "…My family is special…"

He snorted sardonically. "I can tell."

"Not that you idiot," she chided him, knowing she was talking about how weird she was.

With a loud sigh, she picked up on the previous subject. "My father died when we were still young, and my brother took over as his heir… Jaron doesn't say it, but I know its title that comes with heavy burdens. Too much is expected of him from a young age, and there are many eyes watching him, even now... Just waiting for him to fail... I guess you can say the toll of it all had molded him to become someone he is not… More cynical, more possessive, more controlling..."

"Do you hate him?"

"No, he's my twin brother. Why would I? My mother died giving birth to us, he was all that I had really, and my father of course," Elsie turned over and took his long muscular arm, laying it out for as pillow and rested her head on it.

"Perhaps he just wants to keep me from bad men like you," she finished on a teasing note.

Erwin scoffed. "So I'm the bad one now?"

"Maybe?" she laughed jokingly. Then, her laughter died down. "Hey, Erwin…?"

"Hm?" he answered, his eyes still closed as he enjoyed the rare moment of bliss.

However, a silence only ensued. Puzzled by her reluctance to continue, Erwin snapped open his eyes to look at her. Elsie's face was as emotionless as a stone statue, but he didn't miss that small bite of her bottom lip that she always did whenever she's nervous.

"What is it?" he asked with a slight edge of worry.

She sighed, and turned around, facing her back on him. Moments passed before her question finally came. "If I ask you to give up joining the Survey Corps, to give up on your ambitions, to just stop trying to prove your father's theories true … Would you?"

His eyes expanded in shock. Elsie never asked something like that before, so why now? Clenching his fist, he sat up, eyeing on her frame still lying motionless on the ground. He felt as though he was shot in the chest and he pried his eyes away from her guilty.

"…Where would we go then?" he asked in a small voice of wonder.

"Somewhere… to start a life together…" she answered. "Far away from here, far away from my brother, far away from the Military… But even if you must join the military — just not the Survey Corps… Can you do it…? For me?"

Erwin didn't miss the imploring tone she used, the hidden hope she bore that she wasn't the man she thought he was. He frowned, the stinging sensation in his heart just refused to leave regardless of how hard he tried to shrug it away.

"No, I can't."

Elsie slowly moved on the ground, sitting up and facing him. Her green eyes held his without unflinching. Erwin sighed loudly, tearing his guilt-ridden eyes away. "You know what kind of person I am before you fell in love with me, Elsie."

She frowned. "I do, it was just a question, Erwin."

He sighed again. "I devoted my life to prove my father's theories true, you believe it as well, don't you? That the monarchy can indeed alter memories, and that they did so to the first generation's memories."

She bit her bottom lip hard, almost drawing blood and looked away, holding her strong silence.

Erwin nodded his head to himself, acknowledging her silence as confirmation. "I have to do it, Elsie. I have to prove that my father's theories are right. I want to make this place a better world, I want to free mankind from the corruption within the walls, I want… us… to be able to go to the outside… The life you want for us, I can't grant it to you."

Elsie Starke smiled softly, reaching out she grabbed his hand and cupped it in her small palms. She always loved his hands and how they fit hers like perfect jigsaw puzzles.

She stared at him directly in the eye and held her gaze with his unwaveringly. "There is no need to apologize, as I will also have to abandon you one day."

Erwin immediately understood what she meant and he accepted it, no matter how much it broke his heart — he couldn't selfishly ask her to stick around and wait for him, could he?

Holding on to her smile, she held his hand even tighter. "But even if that happens — and even if we do go our separate ways. Don't feel any regrets, don't shed any tears. Walk properly on the path you have set yourself to, and I will do the same, without any pain, without any regrets. Don't ever look back, Erwin. Promise me that. Walk your own path, and don't stray."

He gave her a safe rueful smile, tucking her hair behind her ears. "I promise."

Elsie sighed out in relief and smiled, allowing him to pull her into his chest. He rested his chin on top of her head, embracing her small frame. But unbeknownst to him, the moment her face was out of his sight — her expression changed, drastically.

Like a thunderstorm that had suddenly plagued a clear blue sky, her expression was one of immense worry. Slowly, her hand instinctively moved to her belly, feeling the very small bump.

Elsie Starke couldn't bring herself to tell him the truth. Not now, that is.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Misunderstandings Version 3 (Part 1)

It was a wonderful dream.

The cool crisp cool air, the grass beneath her, the cool shade from the trees. She could taste the clean fresh air, smell the fresh grass and feel the warmth of the sun that shone through the pockets of sunlight that filter down from the tree.

She was outside the wall, she was sure. Far away from the confines of the Walls that trapped humanity. But there were no Titans, just nature and her alone. She wanted to stay like this forever.

The breeze enveloped her soothingly and she felt herself smile. Her senses elevated and a sense of serenity embraced her as she felt herself bask in the peacefulness. If it wasn't for the uncomfortable wet patch beneath her she was sure she would have enjoyed it more.

Wait, what...?

Her eyes snapped open and she blinked a few times to adjust her eyesight from the sunlight that peeked through the slightly open curtains. She was vividly aware of the sleeping presence beside her, breathing softly without a care for the world.

Quickly, she lifted up the blanket that she was wrapped in and screamed bloody murder when she saw what had happened.

"AHHHHH!"

Immediately, the man sleeping beside her jolted awake as though someone had punched him in the stomach. He was a soldier, after all, the readiness for a fight was embedded in him. Though Levi Ackerman was sure anyone would wake up after hearing that god-awful scream, he immediately put two and two together and hissed at his bed partner.

"What the hell, Ida?" He spat angrily at her, running a finger through his black locks in irritation. "Stop being such a brat, why the fuck would you— OI!"

Thud!

Before he could get another curse word in, Ida kicked him off the bed with a hard kick using her foot without another word the moment she realized he was awake. Unceremoniously, he fell to the ground with a loud thud on his bum.

"What the fucking hell…" He muttered through gritted teeth, it wasn't every day that someone of his calibre could say that he get kicked off the bed. He quickly propped himself up and glared at the redhead on the bed, ready to launch into a belligerent rant.

But he stopped himself when he saw Ida was frantically gathering the blanket into a bundle in her arm in a panic. Curiosity replaced his anger, but he didn't allow his glare to falter. "What the hell are you doing, Ida?"

"N — Nothing!" Ida quickly replied in haste, her eyes large and wide when she realized he was staring directly at her. "Get out of the room!"

Unfortunately for her, Levi wasn't about to get told what to do, especially when she just kicked him off his own bed just a few seconds ago. "And why the bloody hell would I do that for? What are you hiding?"

Ida scooted off the bed in haste and stood up the blanket still securely wrapped in a bundle in her arms. "Get out!"

"No," Levi stated firmly, he quickly moved towards her and grabbed the blanket. The look of horror that flashed through Ida's face piqued his curiosity. "Give it to me, what are you hiding?"

But Ida wouldn't let go, instead, she tugged the blanket back with equal strength. "No! Let go!"

"What the hell?" Levi felt his anger boil, and he pulled the blanket back harder, slightly unraveling it from the tight bundle Ida made. "Give it! It's an order!"

"No!" Ida screeched back, refusing to let it go.

The blanket unraveled from the bundle fully, just as footsteps open and the door slammed open with haste.

"Levi! I heard the screams what happened—"

Hanji Zoe stood there with her sword by the door frozen while Eren and Mikasa behind her ready for battle. The world seemed to have frozen as the bewildered soldiers look at the couple fighting over a blanket in the middle of the room as though they were playing tug of war.

"Wait, what is that?" Eren suddenly piqued up, and everyone zoomed in on the red patch of blood on the blanket, displayed for all to see. Levi's eyes grew wide in shock, piecing two and two together and he snapped his gaze to Ida who was frozen from shock, tears of embarrassment simmering in her eyes.

"Is this a display of wedding night affection? A guarantee of consummation?" Hanji broke the silence with a puzzled tilt of her head, as though pondering something. Eren, Mikasa, and Ida went bright red at her scandalous insinuation and Mikasa calmly tried to drag Eren away, but the boy wouldn't budge.

Ida was shivering at this point, her ears as bright as her red hair. Before Hanji could say another world tho, Levi released his hold of the blanket, took a dagger at the bedside table and threw it at the door, his spectacular aim missing Hanji just a bit. It pierced the wooden door with ease.

"Get the fuck out!"

"Eeek!" Hanji and Eren screamed, quickly scrambling out of the room, and slamming the door shut.

"W — Wait, Hanji-san did they really do the deed— Ow! Mikasa what gives!" Eren's voice trickled through the door.

"It's not for boys for you to know." Came Mikasa's clear stern voice as the footsteps got softer.

"God damned brats," Levi scowled, before reverting his gaze back to the stoic redhead, her eyes clearly shimmering. She was still holding onto the blanket in embarrassment and shock.

Quickly Levi went to the cabinets to take a new blanket. Walking over to Ida, he dropped the blanket over her shoulders and wrapped her up in her. Softly, he patted her head, earning a small shy look from the redhead.

"Give it to me," he said calmly, grabbing the blanket in her hands.

"...N — No, it's dirty. Let me—" Came Ida's frantic reply, but Levi shut her up immediately with stern insistence.

"Give it, Ida." He stated, his calm stoic face clearly showing that he didn't care. "I'll handle it. You should go and wash up." He added, his tone gentler than usual.

Shocked, Ida felt herself allowing him to take the blanket from her grasp. She was astounded that a clean freak like Levi would even go near that stained blanket. Gratefully though, she held onto the blanket he draped over her as a form of protection.

"T—Thanks…" Ida whispered softly, embarrassed but grateful at the same time at such an uncharacteristic gesture from Levi. She was surprised Levi was so accommodating.

Cursing that her monthly visitor had created such a spectacular misunderstanding, Ida quickly bolted to the adjourning toilet. But not before seeing that Levi had bundled up the stained blanket in his arms calmly and gave her a small nod of assurance.

As the bathroom door closed behind her, Ida felt a mixture of embarrassment but happiness. Her heart was furiously pounding against her ribcage.

Levi Ackerman could be such a sweetheart when he wanted to.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Misunderstandings Version 3 (Part 2)

"Good morning," she drawled on monotonously, entering the training grounds without much fanfare.

Levi scowled when he saw her, his strong arms crossed against his chest as the group of soldiers practiced a series of punches and kicks in a timely manner.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Levi said with a slight hiss without sparing even a glance at her. He focused on the soldiers, clearly showing her no interest. "If I weren't mistaken you were exempted from any duties due to a sprained ankle."

"All I do is eat cake and sweets all day, I'm bored." Ida summarised with a shrug to her shoulder. "I am perfectly healed already, by the way, thank you for asking though," she added sardonically.

He turned towards her slightly, observing for any lies.

"If you don't believe you can check it for me," Ida lifted her slender leg up with flexible ease till he almost reached his shoulder, causing Levi to recoil back from her sudden movement.

At this gesture and hearing her loud remark, the soldiers at the field bit back a nervous laugh. Seeing their infamous straight-faced Captain being so physically comfortable with a woman was a sight to behold. It didn't help that the rumors about them were a hot topic among the dinner table.

"What the hell are you brats being distracted by?!" Levi shot back at the soldiers sternly, his eyes darkening. "Focus on your damned training!"

Ida withdrew her leg back quickly when she realized she was adding to the rumors. But she couldn't help but silently laugh at how appalled Levi seemed to be. For a control-freak like Levi, slanderous rumors were definitely his worst enemy.

Levi immediately zeroed in on how Ida was enjoying how uncomfortable he was. "What? Is it really that so funny?"

"I do admit, I enjoy seeing you struggle," she shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, the rumors didn't really bother her that much as it did Levi. People were always talking about her anyway.

"Oh really?" Levi's eyebrow twitched and he turned to the group of soldiers. "Line up! We are going for a 10km jog!"

Ida took it as her cue to leave, debating whether she should go back to her room and take a long nap or go to the library to finish that book that she was currently invested in. "Oh hold on," Levi grabbed her shoulder before she could leave. "You're exercising with us."

Her eyes nearly bulged out of her sockets. "W — Wait—'

"I thought you were bored?" Levi retorted back acidly. He knew how much she hated running and he knew that over the past week, Ida had been gorging herself full of decadent sweets that probably cost Erwin's a fortune in the military budget. He'd like to see how she was going to survive a 10km run.

It was needless to say, Ida had no choice but to participate in that morning's exercise run much to her dismay. Damned those god-forsaken sweets, why did she have to eat so much sugar?! It didn't help that she feasted on a chocolate cake that she found for breakfast.

An hour later, Ida was a miserable panting pulp, ready to disintegrate into a nice warm tub of hot water.

"Take a break for fifteen minutes. And then, we will move onto the next project," Levi announced flatly, earning a tired groan from the soldiers.

"What?!" Ida screeched in horror, earning a curious tired look from everyone. "I reject! You're a fucking slave driver!" she pointed an accusing finger at the unbothered Captain.

Levi scoffed, his lips slightly tugging into a small smirk. "We could go for another 10km if you like."

At this suggestion, all the soldiers looked at Ida with pleading eyes. The sound of 'another 10km' hit her like a physical boulder falling on top of her and she immediately straightened up her back and bit back any more remarks. There was no way in hell she was running another 10 fucking kilometers.

However, Levi was determined that the soldiers carry on with the training immediately and he barked out orders to gear up. However, by the time he was done equipping his gear, the redhead was nowhere in sight.

An annoyed sound escaped his lips, he really couldn't take one look off her. "Mobilt, where the hell is Ida?"

"Beats me," he shrugged. "Probably left to go nap somewhere?"

"Carry on the training, I'll look for that damned brat." Levi scowled, dragging himself back into the headquarters building. It didn't take long for him to spot her with her ridiculously bright red hair among the sea of browns, blacks and blondes.

"Pass!"

"Six!"

"No fair!" Ida screamed exasperatedly from the mess hall table where she was seated with the 104th training corps recruits and Hanji. She pouted as she looked at her hands of cards.

Eren grinned at his victory. "You're the one who wanted to join! Weren't you training with Captain?"

"I escaped while the devil wasn't looking," she waved him off without much care.

She studied her hand of cards intensely, wondering which move would be the most viable. It wasn't until a hand came forward and picked her ace card and threw it on the table among the pile of cards did she snapped out of her reverie.

"Hey! What gives—"

She immediately choked on her words and went pale when she saw a menacing Captain glaring down at her.

"C — Captain!" Armin, Jean, and Eren greeted him with cold sweat, immediately hiding the cards they had in their hands behind their back. He wouldn't blame them, would he?

"Levi! Come join us!" Hanji added with glee, not at all perturbed with the tense aura. "We're playing cards!"

"It seems to me that you brats prefer playing cards and wasting valuable military resources that feed, clothe and house you insolent pigs…" Levi's voice was clear and sharp, but the look at his face made his message clear: he was undoubtedly pissed.

"Heh…" Ida gave him a small nervous smile. "I wasn't feeling that well after that chocolate cake in the morning, so I wanted to rest..."

"I thought you were feeling fine already?" Levi retorted back with acid.

"But I am feeling rather nauseous," Ida admitted. Hanji's ear prickled when she heard this and she leaned forward curiously.

Not believing her, Levi dragged her off the chair with a rough grip of her arm. "No buts."

"W — Wait I— hmf!" Ida's hands flew to her mouth as she dry heaved. The nausea clawed at her throat and she tried to force down the bile. "I really don't feel— hmf!"

Levi lifted a curious brow at her reaction, was she really not lying? "Are you—"

"Hmf!" Ida dry-heaved violently again, her hand covering her mouth.

By this time the situation had attracted many curious onlookers. With tear-filled eyes, she felt her stomach contract. But before she could heave again Ida violently pushed Levi grip off her and ran straight to the toilet. She really shouldn't have eaten that old chocolate cake she had found that morning.

Retching vomiting sounds could be heard shortly after, trickling down the hallway.

Levi Ackerman finally broke out of his stunned reverie a few moments later, and by then, he had noticed everyone looking at him like he was a culprit caught with his hands right down the cookie jar.

"Levi!" Hanji jumped towards him and slapped him on his back. "Congratulations!"

"C — Congratulations Captain!" Eren saluted next, following Hanji cue and soon the whole room came into a salute as they said their heartfelt congratulations.

Poor Levi was too stunned and flabbergasted at everyone's instantaneous reaction that he could hardly form coherent words in this mind — wait, what the fuck were they congratulating him for?

Hanji tapped his shoulder and leaned in, "Hey, do you need some anti abortifacient medication? I can go pick some up on my way to town today."

Levi gritted his teeth, his fingers clenching down into tight balls. He could feel the vein pop in his temples and his blood boiling into an inferno. He finally dawned upon him what everyone was yapping about.

From then on, Levi detested chocolate fucking cake.

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Till the next official chapter! Let me know what you think of this chapter, I'm open to more requests ^_^