Humanity's Strongest Woman

by xDollfie

In every empire, there is an epic era that defies the boundaries of time and immortalized itself in the history books. For mankind, an epic era they will never forget has finally emerged. The war between humanity and Titans has finally come to a head. Love cease to exist in a time like this, but they found it, and promised that it'll be worth it. Every stubborn inch of it [LEVIXOC]

33. The Stars Of The Night

A/N: Happy new year 2020 to everyone out there! Also a very happy belated birthday to our glorious Levi Ackerman, whose birthday was on Christmas haha.

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Humanity's Strongest Woman by xDollfie

Chapter 29 — The Stars of the Night

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Thunder rumbled across the cold dark sky, heralding the arrival of another winter storm. The general mood from the weather seemed to reflect that of the Survey Corps commanders' private quarters. His expression was that of a smooth statue as he struggled to button his shirt with one hand. One could never get used to losing an arm, especially when you are a resolute person like Erwin Smith whose only goal in life was to chase his dreams. Being so incapable of doing the smallest things was surely the biggest blow that Erwin had to live with for the rest of his life. He allowed the solemness in the air to enveloped him; caressing him soothingly as if it was his only friend.

He let out a long sigh, stopping midway through the last button of his shirt. Erwin massaged his temples. His head was hurting so badly and a pool of heaviness percolated itself in the depths of his stomach. He had always been a very grim person; accepting all news, good or bad, mockery or praise, with the same impassive attitude because he was confident that his objective will follow through.

Yet, as he stood alone in his room, with his uniform off, his sins haunted him.

Being such an eloquent speaker, Erwin knew that he was able to sway many people. And sway as he would, for the lives of hundred were lost under his command. At times like this when he was alone, Erwin could feel the eyes of the dead stalking him, watching him as if wondering if their deaths had any meaning. He was being held accountable every night — the eyes of the dead were watching him.

He wondered momentarily if Elsie was there tonight as well, staring at him.

His bitter thoughts were chased away by the abrupt sharp knock at the door. It took him a moment to collect his memory, and then he hurriedly stored it into the back of his mind again. Clearing his throat, he straightened his visage and walked towards the door. It had to be urgent if he was bothered at this hour of the night.

"Coming."

Erwin swung the door open and a rare visitor stood there with a cool countenance. "Yo," she greeted. "Am I bothering?"

He frowned when he saw her, "What is it, Ida?"

"I want to talk," the redhead answered curtly. "Can I come in?"

He raised a curious brow. "Sure."

She walked into the room quickly and he closed the door behind her. Erwin could tell that Ida was studying his room. After all, she had never once stepped into his private quarters. The only times that they met were strictly for official matters; the battlefield, the mess hall, the training grounds, his office. Ida had always made it clear to Erwin that while she had accepted him into her life, it wasn't her intention to know him as a daughter would know her father. He observed her countenance, only to find its usual apathetic expression that she always had. Ida had always been a tough person to read, even for someone like him.

"Clean," she murmured absentmindedly. "The midget would surely approve."

Erwin offered her a seat window where two armchairs stood. "Do sit down."

She complied instantly and sat down. Erwin followed suit shortly after, never taking his eyes off the redhead who remained composed without a trace of emotion on her face. Ida reached for her pocket, taking out a small container and retrieved a cigar.

"You don't mind do you?" she inquired politely.

Erwin shook his head slightly, looking rather surprised. "Go ahead."

The redhead took a match from her pocket and lit up her cigar. The smell of tobacco filled the room as she exhaled sharply, her shoulders relaxing as she slumped deeper into the armchair. "Do you want one?"

"Thanks, but no," replied Erwin evenly.

"I have all the money in the world now," she drawled in a dull monotone when she finally picked up on his surprise. "Best I spent some of the money to enjoy the finer things in life."

"What's wrong?" Erwin inquired his rare visitor, going straight for the purpose of her visit. His calculative mind was coming up with all sorts of different scenarios. "Did you discover or remember anything?"

Ida's face flickered and he could see the slight clench of her jaw. "I'm not here for some let-us-scheme-on-how-to-save-humanity talk Erwin," she stated brusquely, seething in silence. Disappointment coated her every sardonic word. "I'm just here to talk."

Erwin looked taken aback at her sudden declaration, but the redhead only took another long drag of her cigar. Ah. Realization dawned upon him. He had been insensitive. Nevertheless, he steadied himself mentally for the tense subject that would surely follow and merely nodded understandingly. He knew this day would surely come. It was his retribution. But as calculative and scheming as he was, Erwin hadn't expected her to be so direct — Ida was always one to avoid topics altogether, she abhorred confrontations like this more than anything.

"Oh, don't look at me like that." Ida frowned, looking very annoyed when she saw that taken aback look on his hard features. "Everyone has been looking at me like that ever since I've come back. As if I'm a lunatic or I've gone crazy. I'm not that four-eyed bespectacled squad leader."

Erwin offered her a small apologetic smile, "It's nothing, really."

She pursed her lips, sitting up straighter. Annoyance was displayed prominently on her face. But her annoyance left as quickly as it came and she sighed almost defeatedly.

"I'm... just really sick of all these neverending lies, and hiding, and plotting, Erwin. I'm weary," she admitted ruefully as an explanation for her uncharacteristic directness that seemed to have everyone recoiling in their seats. She took another long drag as if it would calm her inner turmoil. "I'm sick to death with people avoiding me, while not avoiding me altogether. So stop patronizing me. I'm not a child."

Not anymore, he echoed in his head, but he did not say it out loud. The darkness in her eyes displayed her resolve clearly and Erwin realized she had finally grown up as he studied her more — the intense hatred and self-loathing that she always carried didn't seem to cling around her anymore.

Erwin nodded understandingly, realizing the main reason behind her frustration. "Levi?"

Over the years, Erwin had picked up that Levi was uncharacteristically lenient towards the redhead, almost to a point of coddling her — in his own Levi fashion of course. The Captain was always one to break things to her carefully, treating her like she was made of glass. Levi had always shielded her and protected her, for he knew the extent of her fragility. However, this uncharacteristic sensitivity Levi offered was something he observed to be only directed to her.

Erwin was silently grateful to him for that. In the beginning, he had suspected it was because she was his daughter, but he found himself drawing back on that suspicion time and time again. He finally understood the real reason behind Levi's uncharacteristic leniency when he saw how Levi was when he had learnt she had died. Erwin felt almost ashamed to say that Levi's reaction to her 'death' was far more appropriate compared to his. He, who did not even shed a single tear after heartlessly condemning his daughter to her early grave.

"Is he avoiding you?" inquired Erwin when she didn't reply.

"Mm." Ida did not even bother to deny, she didn't see a point when it was so obvious. "But let's not talk about that midget."

Erwin shifted uncomfortably in his seat, but his voice was firm when he spoke, "You're here to talk about your mother, I assume?"

Ida took another long drag from her cigar and exhaled. "Thank god there's at least someone that direct and straightforward here," she said almost in exasperation.

He gave her a wan smile. "I don't see why you would visit me at this hour of the night if it wasn't for that."

A defenseless silence passed through them before she parted her lips to speak again, "What… were her final moments like?"

"She was her usual self," Erwin replied her easily with a face devoid of any emotions, stone-like and cool like a statue. But while she couldn't pick up anything from his expression, Ida noticed that his hand was clenched into a tight ball. "Selfish, not giving a damn about anyone else, doing whatever she liked."

Ida listened to him with hollow eyes. She nodded, flicking the ashes that were accumulated at the tip of her cigar into the ashtray on the table. "...I wish that I had known her the way you knew her—before she changed I mean. The mother I knew was always full of worries, secrets and a stupid sense of self-sacrificial bullshit. She always looked like she loathed herself. Like she was so pitiful."

Erwin swallowed his salvia painfully when he picked up on the underlying longing hidden in her words. The guilt he was feeling was wrecking him internally — twisting and turning in his chest. In front of him stood his daughter, who was so similar to the woman who he had done absolutely nothing for. Knowing that he had done nothing for the child that Elsie had left behind other than constantly putting her in precarious situations and calling her for her sword was eating him alive.

And yet, he knew that he would do it again in a heartbeat.

He couldn't tell her to leave. He couldn't tell her that he wanted her to be safe. He couldn't tell her that he wanted her to be a bystander in this war like any good father would. For he needed her power by his side to fulfill his dreams.

Elsie Starke, who loved her daughter unconditionally right down till the bitter end, would surely never forgive him.

And he would never forgive himself.

"Ida... I—"

"Careful," she admonished sharply, interrupting him midway. "I might be cordial with you Erwin, but I'm not here to listen to your stupid apologies. Save it. I don't need it."

Her hateful warning punished his tongue and Erwin held back his words. He studied her calculatingly, but her expression was merely cold — there wasn't any sadness present.

Ida exhaled another puff of smoke as she closed her eyes. "We have done a great many things, Erwin… Awful things, but you shouldn't apologize for it. If you care for me at all, don't act as if you regret it for one minute. You would do it again, over and over, even if you could've gone back in time, you'll still do it."

She had hit right on the nail again. Erwin smiled sadly, taking in that same look that Elsie had showed him in her last moments. Ida was looking at him in a mixture of pity and understanding, there was no trace of hatred at all. There was a twinge of exasperation lining the breath he exhaled, his eyes shutting for a couple of seconds longer than usual.

"I know I shouldn't," his voice was barely above a whisper. "But…"

He trailed off and Ida's brows furrowed at his hesitance. "...That's unlike you Erwin."

Was it? He just had wonder. However, Ida had never known the person that Erwin Smith was before he had joined the Survey Corps. Before his sins had piled up. Before he had lost his humanity. Before he had sent countless people to their deaths.

She never knew the type of person that Erwin was in the past. She only ever saw him as he was now: a ruthless monster that was devoid of any empathy, who had no consoling words for her mother as she lay dying in front of him. Who didn't shed a single tear at her death. Who only felt anger and annoyance that her mother left without revealing all she knew.

All Ida knew... was the shell of his former self.

"I forgive you," she suddenly said, catching him off guard. "On behalf of her, I forgive you, Erwin."

Forgiveness. Surely he was not worthy of it. And yet as his daughter looked at him with the same eyes that Elsie had, he felt relieved. He knew that sooner or later, his judgment would come. Nevertheless hearing those words, it felt as though it was all he had wanted all along.

Forgiveness for sending hundreds of men to their early deaths.

Forgiveness for only dreaming about accomplishing his own selfish dreams.

Forgiveness for sacrificing everyone he cared about.

Could he accept this forgiveness? Could he possibly be so inhumane, to accept it?

"It's what she would've wanted as well…" Ida added, her voice barely above a whisper and she stubbed her cigar on the ashtray to put out the sparks. She stood up abruptly and Erwin hastily followed her suit, startled by her sudden vigorous movement. Ida regarded him pensively for a moment before moving closer towards him.

Without a single word, her hands reached for the top button that Erwin had left and buttoned it. Erwin's blue eyes went wide at this unusual gesture of closeness and he stood there unmoving, trying to pick up any signs of uneasiness in her face. But there was nothing on the redhead's face for him to detect.

When she was done, she smoothed out the creases on his shoulder, before her hands stopped abruptly. With her hands still on his shoulder, he found himself drawn to her haunting green eyes as she spoke, "And I forgive you as well."

"Why?" Erwin found himself asking before he could stop himself.

He didn't deserve her forgiveness.

She smiled sadly at his question.

"Because we are the same. We are victims of circumstances. This world had molded us into something we didn't want to be. We've both abandoned people — people we thought we cared about and we would do it all over again. Like father like daughter, I'm just like you and I have no right to judge you for your actions. And because of that... I do know what it's like to live with it, and that alone will be enough to serve as your punishment. To live with it, every day, just like how I'll live with mine..."

She trailed off, retracting her hands from his shoulder to her side. Ida threw one last look at him, and he felt his throat close before she turned away wordlessly, ambling her way to the door.

"I did love her," Erwin stopped her in her tracks. "I truly did."

He wondered silently what kind of expression he was putting on his face now. It had been so long since he had been honest with someone, but Ida deserved to know the truth. Out of everyone, she deserved to see the Erwin Smith that had long died years ago. For he had failed her, over and over again. He had failed her.

Though Ida looked stoic, Erwin surmised from the darkness in her eyes that she understood what he meant. Slowly, her hard features grew softer and she lifted her lips into a small sad smile that had his hand threatening to curl into fists.

"Erwin… Do you know, you're the last living member of my family right now," she threaded slowly to her point, her figure looking lonesome. "...Maybe because after all the time I've spent with Elsie and Jaron, I've become a sentimental fool. But… I do care for you, Erwin. More than just a commander… Not because you're one of humanity's greatest assets, but because... You are my father..."

Guilt. Regret. Self-loathing. It all came down like an avalanche on him, burying him deep within the layers of snow, but he kept his eyes steadily locked with hers in trepidation for her next words.

"So until you've finally reached your goal... Until you have finally achieved your dreams… Don't stop. Don't die. Because that's the only way that will give meaning to everything you've done to us so far… I'll follow you to the bitter end. Don't you ever stop or die on me, because if you did, it's as good as abandoning me again as well."

She hastily turned away from him when she was done and went for the door. But before she could turn the knob, she halted. "...Will you tell me about her one day? About the both of you…? That and about your dreams as well..."

"...I will," he promised.

The doorknob turned and Erwin never got to catch the look on her face. "Goodnight, father."

The door closed behind her. Erwin let out the breath that he didn't know he was holding and sat back down on the armchair. He massaged his temples, trying to chase away the headache that was building up in layers. Closing his eyes, he breathed slowly. He felt a breeze past him and he could almost swear there was another presence in the room.

"Elsie…" he whispered into the darkness, wondering if she was there. "...Look at what you left me with… She's just like you… Stubborn as hell, selfish and doing whatever the hell she wanted..."

When he finally opened his eyes, he felt that they were slightly wet.

Here was a man who was the ruthless commander of the Survey Corps.

Here was a man who was the commander of death.

Here was a man who had sacrificed everyone he loved without so much as a bat of an eye, in pursuit of selfish dreams.

He wasn't worthy of her forgiveness. Nevertheless, he accepted it. For he knew one day, his judgement would surely come. The reaper was just around the corner, shadowing him, ready to judge him for his sins. It would whisper and demand repentance. It breathed down his neck every second he lived, reminding him of its existence.

Not yet, he would tell the reaper every night. The time is not right yet.

Not until he could give meanings to the deaths he had caused. Not until he could finally look at Ida straight in the eye and tell her that every horrible vile thing he had done was worth it. Not until he had finally achieved his selfish dreams.

Until then, he would shamelessly relish and find comfort in knowing he had her forgiveness, and it would momentarily soothe his guilty soul.

Until then, Elsie could only wait for him in the afterlife, just like how she waited for him patiently for over twenty years.

Until then, he would continue being the monster that this war-torn world needed.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

"Ah... There you are..." he croaked hoarsely.

Despite his disheveled appearance, the brunette smirked in curious anticipation for his visitor. His eyes were still closed, but he could hear the metal gates of his cell opening. The intimidating condescending aura was enough for him to summarise who exactly was his visitor today without even opening his eyes.

"Has the great Captain Levi finally made his way to my dingy cell...?" he inquired sarcastically, still seated on his floor.

The metal around his wrist was heavy, and truthfully, he didn't even have the strength to move. He slowly opened his eyes, moving his head to meet with the other man. He was met with a malevolent dark glare that had his throat closing up in its own accord.

"Kenny was right..." he chuckled softly. "...You do look like an annoying midget…"

"Seth Fischer, a mercenary who was loyal to Kenny Ackerman and Jaron Starke," Levi announced with a great lack of apathy, his posture intimidatingly overshadowed the man of the floor. "...That bloody four-eyes said you wouldn't talk…"

"So they sent their top-dog to meet with me," Seth smirked, scoffing mockingly. "I must say that I'm honored."

He didn't even have time to blink before Levi grabbed him by his collar and hoisted him up the air easily in one single movement, slamming his back to the wall. "I'm not as patient as her. Talk."

"I — I've already told her…" Seth said with renewed fierceness, his anger overcoming his lack of breath. "I'll talk to no one but Ida Starke."

"Oh?" Levi scowled, clenching his jaw at his stubbornness.

There was no way in hell Levi would allow him to meet her. He had recognized him as the mysterious man with a scar on his face that Ida had lived with during her time in the underground. Plus, Erwin had warned that it was best that Ida and the prisoner never meet during his captivity, for they could never truly be too careful. According to the redhead, Seth had saved her; and that was enough for the cold calculative commander to even suspect his own daughter.

Why would a soldier so loyal to Jaron Starke change sides suddenly anyway?

However, Levi had an inkling of what happened, though he did not voice it out during the last meeting. He had seen the way Seth had held Ida on the battlefield. He knew that look. It was the same look he had when he saw her bloodied battered body. Levi didn't know whether it was because of this or the fact that he was sent to interrogate a prisoner so early in the day that had gotten him so much more annoyed than usual.

And Levi could be frighteningly violent when annoyed.

With ferocity, he grabbed Seth by the collar and slammed him to the ground. He didn't even allow the brunette to even let out a grunt of pain before Levi stomped on his head with his foot and held his foot there threateningly. An unearthly crack echoed in the cell, followed by Seth's howl of pain.

"It'll be just you and me today," Levi spat with maliciousness coolness. His eyes were narrowed down admonishingly. He applied pressure on his foot as a warning. "I won't ask again, talk while you still can."

"Y — You can kill me…" Seth gritted his teeth, tasting the blood in his mouth. "...But I can't say that she will be very happy about it. I did save her after all."

A wave of anger surged in Levi's veins. With a swift kick to his stomach that Seth had seen coming, the brunette glided across the dirtied cell concrete floor from the impact. Seth coughed out blood, but he wasn't even allowed to come to terms with the intense pain before he was hoisted up in the air again violently. Clenched knuckles met with his jaw. Seth felt his world spin as the taste of blood flooded his mouth again before another punch came his way.

When he was done, Levi's fingers clenched around his neck in a chokehold.

"I didn't come to this disgusting cell to hear you talk shit." Levi drawled calmly with obvious killing intent.

He had just about had enough. Levi could feel the anger surge and boil within him, urging him to carry out the deed, but he always had commendable self-control — he couldn't kill him. Yet.

Seth smirked with bloodied lips at his reaction. He was resolved to enjoy his anger if it was the last thing he did. "Y — You're the one that abandoned her to die... and yet you're angry about someone else saving her? You should be on your knees, thanking me for doing something you didn't do."

Levi's grey eyes flickered maliciously, violent thoughts swarming in his mind. He was inundated with anger at his blunt words, but before he could do anything a familiar voice halted him.

"That's enough." Ida entered the cell. She had heard everything. With hollow eyes, she looked at her Captain. "Let go, Levi."

"Tch." Levi made a disgruntled sound with his nose but compiled. Seth dropped to the floor in a mess, coughing and wheezing as he sucked in the cool air. "Didn't the guards stop you?"

"They did." Ida shrugged nonchalantly, not at all abashed that she was going against strict orders. "I asked who dared stop me."

She had hurriedly made her way here the moment she heard from Armin that Levi had been sent to interrogate Seth after Hanjii's countless attempts to civilly extract information out from him had failed. Knowing her partner's temper and sadistic tendencies all too well, Ida was glad that she came. Judging by the malevolent anger that was emitting from Levi, she wasn't sure Seth would be alive at the end of it.

Plus it gave her a good reason to be in the same room with him, for Levi had seemed to have recoiled more furiously than expected from her previous confrontation and had now taken it upon himself to avoid her at all costs now.

"Look who finally came…" said Seth hoarsely, smiling with a set of teeth that were caked in blood. "Ida…"

Levi ignored him and moved forward angrily, grabbing her arm. "You can't be here." He hissed.

"I know," Ida reasoned with a slight edge to her voice, calmly placing a hand on top of his hand. "But I'm not alone with the prisoner. You're here as a witness and everyone trusts you. So stay."

She moved her attention to Seth who was on the floor.

He didn't look great — his clothes were caked in dirt, his broken nose was bleeding and he was clutching onto his stomach that was throbbing in pain from Levi's powerful kick. He looked so pitiful, and frankly, Ida enjoyed it.

"If you would've just talked instead of stupidity asking for me, it'll long be over," said Ida impassively with a frown. "Why?"

"Because I just felt like it." Seth seethed, still holding onto his mischievous smirk. "It was worth it after seeing that guilty bastard's face morph into horrified anger when I—"

He cut himself off abruptly upon seeing Levi advancing towards him threateningly again, bracing himself for another kick or punch, but it never came for Ida was quick enough to hold him back.

"Levi, please. Don't."

"Told ya," Seth snarled mockingly, directed only to the Captain. "She wouldn't want me dead—"

This time, he was cut off mid-sentence by a single swift kick to his mouth from the redhead.

"I don't want you dead, yes." Ida glared venomous daggers at him, poison coating her every word. "But that doesn't mean I won't beat you half-dead myself if you don't shut your fucking mouth."

Levi's narrowed eyes went wide at her action. He almost wanted to give himself a pat on the back for training her so well. Hell, he was proud. He smirked at this, glaring triumphantly and tauntingly at the shocked prisoner before leaning against a wall, watching them.

This would be fun to watch, he mused. There wasn't even a trace of mocking arrogance from Seth now.

Seth spat out the blood that had accumulated in his mouth in a pool. He glared at her incredulously, scoffing in disdain. "...Ever the feisty one aren't you?"

"Just tell me everything you know and you're free," replied Ida composedly. "I'll ask for amnesty for your actions, seeing that after all, you changed sides at the very end, and you saved and assisted me."

"I know as much as you do," Seth growled in a dull monotone, wiping the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand. "I wasn't even aware that Jaron had plans to let you inherit Elsie's Titan, or I wouldn't even be serving him. He would've been long dead, and you know that."

She frowned deeply. "You were prepared to use your gears to escape."

"Only because your mother had warned me, we talked before we left for Reiss Chapel," Seth explained, sounding very disgruntled. "She said some stupid cryptic things about how I knew nothing about Jaron's true plans and made me promise that when the time comes, I'll take you and run. And that was the time she was talking about."

"Do you know if Jaron had any contact with the world outside?"

"Beats me." He answered easily, gritting his teeth. "I served that bastard, but he was always secretive, that piece of shit. He never trusted anyone completely — much lest I. After I came back from the underground without you as was ordered, Jaron had always suspected me."

"I see..." hummed Ida as she searched his features for any traces for lies. So far she found none. "Did you know Elsie Starke was a Titan Shifter?"

"Yes."

"Why did you work for Jaron Starke, what did he offer you?" It was a question that Ida had wanted to know herself.

"Gold," came Seth's simple reply accompanied with a wry shrug. "Freedom. A whole load of bullshit about ruling the world at his side."

She scoffed sarcastically at his reply in disbelief. "You served him only because of that?"

"I had no choice." He sneered, taking offense in her judgemental tone. "What was I to do? I was but a child, starving, and on the damned streets when Kenny found me and decided I was a perfect candidate for Jaron little squad of lunatics."

"The Titan serums that Rod had in his possession were supplied from Jaron," Ida ignored his blatant anger and opted for another question. "How did he come to possess them? Did he make them?"

"Don't know," Seth answered disgruntledly. "If I had to make a guess it came from his stinking son, that Titan you saw at the dungeons. From what I heard from Kenny, that manor was used as his lab for his sick experiments."

Ida's eyes went wide at this revelation and she spun around to her Captain who remained quiet throughout the interrogation. "Levi?"

Levi grimaced, his glare never leaving the brunette. "That damned building is reduced to nothing but shitty rubble now after the battle. Scouts were sent to excavate the site for any valuable information. From the reports — it seems that there were traces of burnt books. That sly bastard Jaron probably didn't want to leave anything behind after he escaped."

"And the Titan?"

"Probably dead seeing as it had tons of rubble crash onto it if it was hidden underground," Levi folded his arms and his brows clashed into a ferocious frown. "But they are still excavating the site as we speak."

"Well, that's shitty," Ida commented with a loud sigh. She gestured to the battered brunette on the floor. "Anything else?"

"We have all our answers." Levi peeled himself away from the walls he had found himself comfortable leaning on and motioned for Ida to leave with a simple nod with his head. "We're done here, let's go."

"Wait." Seth stopped them. "About the amnesty you were talking about…"

Ida frowned imperceptibly. "I did say I'll try. But I can't guarantee anything."

"I don't want freedom. I'll be back out on the streets anyway and I'm only good for killing," Seth pointed out, winching a little when he clenched his jaw. "I want to join the Survey Corps."

"No," was Levi's instant reply.

"I know all of Jaron Starke and Rod Reiss soldiers, I've worked with them for years. I can easily point them out, and you can round up all the little traitors in the government and the military ranks."

Levi glowered at him threateningly. "Shut up—"

"I'll convey your sentiments to the military," Ida interjected calmly and went straight for the exit.

Levi caught up with her, passing by the soldiers who came to lock the cell doors behind him. He ignored their curious stares. "Oi, hold it. That brat can't be trusted."

"Yes, but we need soldiers more than ever—experienced soldiers, that can fight. Not children." Ida countered, not stopping in her walk. She frowned as she thought about the new recruits. They looked so young, so innocent and full of life. She felt sick knowing so many of them would probably die in the next battle.

"I know him. If you don't trust him, trust my judgment."

"I will not allow it," retorted Levi in his customary bitterness.

"It's not your decision to make, Levi." Ida could only sigh loudly, finally stopping her walk. "It's up to the military."

"Tch." Levi scowled bitterly. "Then watch me."

She lunged forward and gripped his wrist, stopping him. Ida had seen just how influential Levi was among the military ranks—a simple threat, an intimidating glare, and most of the top-dogs would have keeled in their seats.

"He killed two children!" she shouted and he immediately turned to look at her for an explanation.

"Children that I thought of as my own... Children I took care of and raised... All because he wanted to save me when Kenny came for me on Jaron's orders years ago. He killed them when they were captured and held hostage by Kenny, knowing that I'll do anything to save them. He wanted to save me. I loathe him just as much as you — no, more than you, Levi. I want to kill him more than anyone. And yet…"

Her eyes dejected to the ground. "...I have to do the right thing for the sake of humanity. We need him."

"No." stated Levi determinedly, seething in anger. "Stop with that sentimental bullshit, even more reason that he deserves to fucking die."

Ida looked at him suspiciously. This was a very different reaction than she had expected. Levi had always been composed, even at the direst of situations. He was someone who would begrudgingly put aside any personal feelings if it was for the sake of humanity. Awhile Seth had goaded him multiple times, she hadn't expected him to be so adamant to refuse his request to join the Survey Corps. Ida knew him better than that. Duty was his honor. But going so far as to use his authority and prestige to get his way? It wasn't something Levi would never do unless absolutely necessary. That man hated the military with all its politics with every fiber of his being.

Even the way he treated Seth was very different from the prisoners he had interrogated before — something about his manner bordered near uncontrollable anger, and Levi was never one to lose his cool during an interrogation.

Realization hit her hard.

Was he… jealous?

"I... don't love him, Levi," she said with conviction. She watched his face contort, and she knew she had hit right on the nail. "Not anymore that is. It won't affect my work. You have nothing to worry about, I'll kill him myself if he so much as lift a finger against us."

Levi maintained his cool composure and cleared his throat. "It's still a no."

"But—"

"That an order." He interjected sharply, his tone leaving no room for arguments.

Ida frowned and bit her bottom lip. She was wracking her brains for a solution; Erwin would be more susceptible to her reasoning she supposed. A slight twitch in her hand brought her back out from her thoughts and she realized that she was still holding onto his hand. Levi glared at her and Ida gasped. She abruptly let go out of his hand and broke out in a furious blush.

"And don't touch me so casually again," Levi snarled sternly.

She felt her heart stop at his cold tone, taken aback at how harsh he was. Ever since three days ago at Historia's coronation, Levi Ackerman has been avoiding her like she was the plague itself. He ate at his office, he hardly stepped out of his rooms, and he even sent damn Eren as his errand boy for any messages he wanted to pass. Hell, she wasn't even sure if he wouldn't even speak a word to her now if the world wasn't in a constant threat all the damn time.

But before she could throw in a scathing retort, she caught sight of a flash of red as he swung his arm away.

"Wait, your knuckles."

Ignoring his warning she grabbed his hand again and brought it closer to her face for inspection. The skin of his knuckles was torn and there was a clear cut that was bleeding on his knuckles — he probably got it when his fist came into contact with Seth's teeth.

"Oh god! How hard did you hit him?!" she exclaimed in horror. "It's bleeding..."

"Let go." He demanded but made no attempt to retract his hand back. "I told you—"

"Shut up. I've seen and touched more intimate parts of you than your stupid hand. Isn't it too late to play the superior-subordinate role now?"

Levi scowled at her remark and his body shift slightly, unable to conjure up a retort. He felt like he was having the most intense headache of his life. Over the course of his life, few people could render him speechless. The awe-inspiring Erwin Smith was the first one, a calculative man who was like a devil with his words. It was just his luck that his stubborn daughter had inherited that trait.

He observed her with bated breath, noticing that she barely even realized what she had said for all her attention was focused intently on his wound.

"You know you really got to stop being so violent all the time... I get that he taunted you, but if you must hit him, don't do it in a way it hurts yourself. For such an important man you really don't take care of yourself, do you?" she murmured as she blew on his knuckle innocently. "Does it hurt?"

Ah fuck. This woman was driving him crazy, the sooner he gets away from her the better. Levi could hardly suppress his feelings for her and being around someone like her — who clearly had no self-awareness — was enough to drive even someone like him to the brink of insanity.

She was the type of love that stained your soul and make you beg not to have one.

And Levi hated stains more than anything.

"Tch." He growled, getting increasingly annoyed with her obliviousness. His hands shifted and he clasps onto her wrist, dragging her down the dungeon hallways. "Just shut up and let's get the hell out of this filthy stinking place."

Unfortunately for him, Ida didn't seem to have noticed his frustrations. "Hey! Did you hear me? The next time someone is being a brat, kicking would suffice! Why would you hurt yourself unnecessarily?!"

They were finally at the door leading to the first floor of the military headquarters when Ida stopped him.

"Wait."

"What?" he snapped.

She bit her lip, and he followed her line of vision only to see that while they were walking, their fingers had intertwined together and that he was still holding onto her hand. It was almost as if his body had reacted without him knowing. It was so instinctual for him to hold her hand that Levi didn't even realize he was doing it. Like jigsaw puzzles, their hands had fit together so perfectly.

He let go almost instantly, horrified as the rational side of him came knocking on the door. The last thing Levi wanted was for the entire legion to gossip about their relationship — a relationship that he was determined that he wanted to end.

"...Let's go…" she murmured quietly, blushing. She didn't meet his eyes as she opened the door and left the dungeons in a hurry. "I'll fix your wounds for you."

Levi grit his teeth in frustration as he combed his fingers angrily through his hair.

Damn it. Damn this all to hell.

Just to escape the spell she had placed him under, Levi had tried all means and methods over the past few days; trying to break himself free from her spell but it was pointless. The moment he saw her, all his efforts had gone to waste and he found himself was quite helpless under her spell.

Levi Ackerman groaned loudly as he discovered that he had more of her in his veins than he had expected.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

"Jean where did you go?" Armin inquired just when Jean came up to them at the table that the squad was at in the mess hall. "We're almost done eating."

Jean made a face and sighed, taking a seat on the table. He looked exhausted. "I got dragged by Ida-san to find the first aid kit. She was so frantic I thought someone died. But guess what? It was only for some stupid minor wounds on the Captain, it seems to me that he beat the prisoner real good."

Sasha listened as she chewed loudly on her bread. "Ida-san really does care about him."

"Don't talk with your mouth full Sasha!" Connie chided from beside her, cringing when he saw chewed bits of bread fly out of her mouth when she talked.

Armin scooted away slightly from the mess Sasha made. "They are a thing, right? Like officially. Not like the rumors we've heard."

"Your guess is as good as mine, Armin." Eren shrugged and took another spoonful of his soup. He had been in their squad the longest, and to him, their relationship was more complicated than the killing Titans.

"At least he seems more relaxed with her around," said Sasha, balancing a spoon on her top lip. She rested her head on her hand casually. "He hadn't bugged us about some pile of dirt we missed ever since she came back."

"Forget it about it potato girl, they are in the middle of an argument now. Our days of relaxing under their good mood are over," Jean told her grumpily, grabbing a piece of bread off from Connie's plate.

"Hey!" Connie shouted angrily. "That's mine!"

Jean rolled his eyes lazily. "I'll get you another one later."

"What?" Eren tilted his head slightly, referring back to Jean's previous statement. "What are they arguing about now?"

Jean shrugged, biting onto his stolen bread. "Don't know. Something about Captain shouting to leave at her to leave him alone and not to touch him and Ida-san insistently demanding that she treat it — you know, same old bullshit with those two."

"Argh! We're screwed!" Sasha wailed and slumped her upper body on the table. "Our peaceful days are over!"

Armin chuckled awkwardly at the brunette's exaggerated action. "Hey, you guys. Have you heard? The Military will host a royal ball three days from now. All of us are invited."

"What?" Eren's blue pupils went wide. "What for?"

"Well, Hanji-san said that it's to show the public that despite most of the nobility being overthrown, whatever remains of the aristocrats are now loyal to the military and its new order," replied Armin.

"So it's just another stupid show of the military power," came Jean's dull reply. "Half the population is still divided, they are anxious. Many of them think that it's military dictatorship instead and that it's a conspiracy."

"Well, they are right about that, it is a military dictatorship," said Armin. "Historia is nothing more than a mere figurehead."

"Hey liven up you guys!" Connie slammed his fist to the table in excitement, drawing everyone's attention. "A royal ball! Don't you see? It's a party! Food, dance, music — we're finally being recognized and rewarded!"

"F — Food?" Sasha stuttered, almost going into shock. She bolted up from the dejected position she was in. Her eyes were literally sparkling. "Did you say food?!"

"Yes, Sasha!" Connie cheered. "Food! Meat! Loads of it!"

"Connie, don't over-excite her." Mikasa finally spoke up calmly after witnessing the drool that dropped from Sasha's lips. She frowned, turning to the boy beside her. "Eren are you going?"

"I guess so?" Eren quipped. He hadn't been a ball before.

Suddenly, a chilling voice came behind the Titan Shifter. "What are you brats so excited about?"

"I — Ida-san!" Eren squeaked, going rigid at her voice.

The redhead was holding onto a plate of her own food. "Can I sit here?"

"S — Sure!"

She sat down immediately at the bench, placing her plate of food down. She took her spoon in her hand and was just about to start eating when she noticed that her boisterous squad had grown silent upon her arrival. She blinked when she saw pairs of incredulous eyes staring at her as if she had gone crazy.

"What?" she demanded. "I'm not sharing."

"You hardly even eat at the mess hall, much less with us," came Mikasa's explanation, the only one brave enough to say a word.

Ida blinked at her statement. "Oh."

"Don't you usually have your dinner with Captain in his office?" Jean inquired, surprised to see her.

Ida's face contorted at the mention of him. She angrily took a spoonful of soup into her mouth, swallowing. "The pipsqueak kicked me out."

And by kicking me out I mean he dragged me by my shirt and threw me out of the door before locking it, Ida had wanted to add bitterly, but she decided against it. They didn't need to know that embarrassing situation.

"What?" Connie tilted his head quizzically.

"Another argument, huh?" Jean leaned in, interested. He had gotten quite close to her since she came back and discovered that she was more relaxed as compared to her past self. "Why do you two argue so much anyway?"

The squad shifted in their seats at Jean's question, wondering how Ida would react. They couldn't deny that it was a question that everyone wanted to know. In their eyes, the pair were so compatible when they got along and they had seen how much their Captain cared for her, even mourned for her when he thought that she was dead. So now that they were back together, it was odd to even think of them as having any disagreements.

Ida clenched her fist, feeling a surge of annoyance rush over her. "If that stupid midget wasn't so damned—" she stopped herself before she could say anymore, realizing that the squad was looking at her with wide eyes at her angry tone. She cleared her throat and loosened her fist. "...Forget it, brats like you don't need to know..."

She sighed dejectedly before continuing with her meal in silence. But the wary eyes of her squad never left her, silently expecting an answer. She bit her lip, growing uncomfortable under their scrutiny. "...Maybe he's still angry at me for going against his orders, for abandoning you guys and going on a solo mission… I don't know, maybe he just... hates me…?"

"Ida-san?"

"Mm?" she raised a brow at Eren who called her.

"I don't think he hates you," he suddenly said. "He just cares for you."

She blinked shockingly at his words. "What makes you think that?"

"Because that pipsqueak nearly lost his sanity when he thought you were dead," Mikasa interrupted brusquely, not meeting her eyes.

The Asian wondered why she was helping that detestable man then, maybe it was because she empathized with him. It was the first time she had ever seen him like that — and oddly enough, she understood him completely. She too had gone through that despair when she thought that Eren had perished at the battle of Trost.

Ida went rigid at her words, her heart paused momentarily. It didn't make sense. Many times over, she had pondered if Levi had regretted that night that they shared. All his actions only gave credibility to that thought. But if he had mourned for her so painstakingly when he thought she was dead, why was he avoiding her when she was alive?

"I see…" Ida mumbled out moments later, continuing with her food as a hollowness bloomed in her chest. Sensing the mood had turned tense, she opted for a change in conversation, "Well… Enough of that. What were you guys discussing before?"

"The military is hosting a royal ball," Connie grinned. "We're all invited!"

"Well you better keep a hold of her during that ball," Ida stated firmly, pointing her spoon to the salivating brunette by the corner who had completely zoned out from the conversation and was probably fantasizing about food. "I don't want any incidents, is that clear? It's bad enough everyone thinks the Survey Corps are a bunch of lunatics."

"Yes!"

And just like that, the squad continued on with their conversation, giggling and laughing. Ida slowly distanced herself away from the conversation about the upcoming ball, remaining silent throughout, content on just watching them. She smiled softly at her squad overflowing excitement, placing her spoon down after she had finished her meal. Instead of leaving though, Ida sat still in her seat as she watched them carefully; taking in every laughter, every smile, every friendly banter.

It was just like when Oluo, Petra, Eld, and Gunther was alive.

Her mind went back to the times when the original special operation squad was still around, remembering their faces, their conversations, their friendly banter. She recalled dear Petra's sweet smile, Oluo's constant mimicking, and overbearing behavior, Gunther's laughter, and even Eld's stupid glare.

Then she focused on her current squad, who was now busy trying to pry apart an angry Jean and Eren from lunging at each other's throat after the friendly banter went too far.

"Let me go Armin!" Jean screamed, his fingers outstretched as he tried to reach for Eren. "Take that back you suicidal maniac!"

"You can try me Jean-boy!" Eren retorted, still safely in the arm lock from Mikasa.

"You guys, stop it! Do you know what Captain will do to you if you get into another— Eh?"

At Armin's abrupt sound of confusion, the squad halted mid-action, following the confused blonde's line of vision to the redhead who sat at the other end of the table, unmoving. Her emerald eyes were firmly locked at them, but her mind seemed to be in another place.

"I — Ida-san?" Eren's anxious voice finally broke her out of her trance.

"Yes?" she answered.

"Are you okay?"

She frowned at his sudden odd question, but before she could say anything, she stopped when she realized something was wrong. Her hands went to her face on their own accord and she touched it gingerly, noticing that a lone tear had escaped her eyes and had left its mark on her pale cheeks.

"Ah…" Ida breathed out slowly, staring at her wet fingers. She didn't even know she was crying.

"Ida-san?" came Armin's confused voice.

"...It's nothing." She quickly wiped her tears with the back of her hand and smiled reassuringly. "...I'm just... thankful that you're all alive…"

It truly was good to be home.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

She was having a mind-wrecking headache.

It was all that damned Erwin's fault. That stupid Commander of hers with those glorious eyebrows. With the upcoming ball just around the corner, he received strict orders from Darius Zackley that Ida Starke, the heiress of the influential aristocratic northern household, must attend.

And he had passed on this duty of conveying this order to a certain bespectacled squad leader.

Now, awhile Hanji was confident in her genius about Titans, she found herself quite insecure about bringing the notorious redhead who was known to defy orders into the fold — Ida abhorred celebrations like this with a passion, too unnecessary she would say. Mobilt was a great help to her dilemma, even coming up with a certain plan to successfully bribe her to attend.

"Remember, squad-leader…" Mobilt gave her an enthusiastic pep talk before she entered the redhead's private room. "Focus on the sweets, remember to describe what kind of desserts are available there are at the ball. That's her weakness!"

With a reassuring thumbs up from her most trusted aide, Hanji went into her rooms with a surge of newfound confidence. Every speech was planned out, she was to ask nicely first to gauge her reaction and if all else fails, she would proceed to entice Ida's notorious sweet tooth.

"So… Will you attend?" Hanji gasped for air, her grin wide and victorious. She had just spent the last five minutes explaining the different types of desserts that would be served at the royal ball to the stoic redhead and frankly, she was worn out at this point.

"Mm?" Ida hummed from the book she was reading, clearly disinterested in what Hanji had to say.

"The ball, Ida," Hanji repeated.

"Oh, the ball, right." Ida echoed, finally directing her full attention to her as she closed her book shut. "Fine, Hanji. I'll wear a stupid fancy dress. I'll attend the ball as your figurehead to show the people that whatever remains of the pathetic nobility is now firmly sided with the strength of the military."

Hanji's grin grew wider and wider, she ought to give Mobilt a good pat on his back for this. He truly was her most trusted assistant. But just as she thought of this, Ida lifted her finger up and her smile vanished.

"But on one condition."

Oh boy, here it comes.

Hanji nervously shifted and broke up into an awkward laugh. But when the firmness in the redhead's eyes did not disappear, she sighed loudly, her shoulders slumping down. She should've known this wasn't an easy battle.

"Name it…" she said with a loud defeating sigh. "What is it you want Ida? More desserts? Sweets? A certain type of cake to be served instead?"

"I don't want Erwin as my escort," Ida's lips curved into a devilish smirk, looking as though a brilliant idea had come into mind. "I want the damned midget."

Hanji was paralyzed at her proposition. "Levi?"

"Yes." Ida nodded. "Humanity strongest escorting the lady of the 'oh-so-great' Starke family would equally send a strong message. Erwin can bugger off with his eyebrows."

The brunette chuckled nervously, feeling her palms breaking out in a sweat. "Um… Levi won't be attending the ball, he said he would rather be on guard duty than 'standing around all dolled up, eating and drinking shit with the stinking nobility' if I remembered correctly..."

"Then it's your job to convince him otherwise, isn't it?" Ida countered lazily, opening her book again. "You can tell Erwin I said that."

Hanji pouted. "But why?"

"Don't know," replied Ida dismissively, going back to reading her book. "I just felt like it."

And so, Hanji left her room in utter defeat. Mobilt who was waiting outside the door for her came running to her, wanting to ask how it went. But the moment he saw that dark gloomy disturbed look on his squad leader, he refrained from asking any further.

Dejected, Hanji slapped her cheeks to cheer herself up. You're a great scientist! she cheered herself on inwardly. What could that clean-freak midget do anyway? High kick her shins? She would've him under control in a minute! There's nothing Levi loves more than cleaning!

With that hopeful thought in mind, she patted Mobilt on his back reassuringly, as if telling him it was okay before she went to Levi's office.

As expected, Levi Ackerman outright refused the proposition.

"No."

"Levi, it just a small request," she pleaded.

Levi did not even look up from the stack of paperwork he was looking at. "I won't say it again shitty four-eyes, no."

"I'll get Eren to clean your office for a week!" Hanji desperately offered in a frantic. "I'll use the military budget to buy more cleaning supplies! I'll even get Erwin to issue an order that every linen in the entire headquarters has to be properly pressed! Think about it! Every linen in this headquarters, having those cute little folded triangles in the corners that you so love! Please, Levi?"

Levi placed the stack of paperwork down, leaning back into his seat as he crossed his arms. Irritation was placed predominantly on his hard features. "No, you can tell that damned shitty brat that she'll have to do better than that if she thinks she can dictate what her superior can do."

With that firm statement and the furious intimidating glare coming from the Captain, Hanji sighed again and went to convey his message to the redhead.

"Oh." Ida did not even look surprised that Hanji came back. "Then you can tell him that he can eat shit if he thinks that I'll be going to the ball then, after all, don't you think the military needs me? I'm their beloved figurehead after all; a sign that even the vile Starke family, are even loyal to the military now."

"B — But—" she wanted to retort, but Ida cut her off.

"Thanks, Hanji. I owe you one."

Hanji Zoe wanted to pull her hair out at this point, but the poor Titan Scientist merely sighed louder and dejectedly went back to Levi.

The paper furrowed furiously under Levi's angry grasp when he heard of what Ida said from Hanji. "Tell her that I'll tie her shitty self up and dump her at the ball if that's the last thing I do."

She was sweating at this point, tired from running back and forth, and Hanji decided that she'll give one last try to convince the redhead.

But Ida merely nodded, unfazed by her disheveled and distressed appearance and impassively said, "You can tell him that he can shit himself trying — I'm not sure that it'll inspire peace and cooperation within the nobility and the people though. Tying me up? Mm, sounds more like I'm being kept hostage and used against my will, don't you think?"

Having enough, Hanji finally gave up and ran to her only savior office. Bursting in without so much as a knock, she screamed, "ERWIN! HELP!"

"Squad leader! Stop running around! You're injured!" Mobilt came running after her, just in time to find her falling to the ground on her butt in the middle of the Commander of the Survey Corps office in complete exhaustion.

"What is it Hanji?" Erwin asked calmly, unfazed by her sudden intrusion and her distress call.

"I can't do it anymore!" Hanji wailed, ignoring Mobilt's cries for her to get off the floor. "They're heartless, both of them! Look at me I'm injured and they still won't budge!" she cried, nudging her broken arm that was still in a cast towards the calm commander in an attempt to extract pity.

"Both of them?" He repeated. Erwin's eyebrows furrowed into a frown. He placed the paper he had in his hand down on his desk and stood up, ambling his way to his desperate subordinate on the ground. "Levi and Ida?"

The Titan Scientist wasted no time and frantically explained the situation to him in haste, not even pausing to take a breath as Mobilt ran towards the table to get a glass of water for her, knowing that she would be parched by the time she finished.

Erwin clenched his teeth, massaging his temples with his left hand when he heard of what has transpired between them. Sure, those two were known for their infamous petty arguments and he had heard of complaints from a few soldiers in the legion who were unfortunate enough to get caught in between them. But this? This was a whole new level.

"Are they playing a fool with the military's orders those two…" Erwin growled to himself irritably before sighing in defeat. "Did you try to bribe them?"

"Yes," said Hanji after she finished gulping down her drink, almost in tears at this point.

"With sweets and cleaning supplies?"

"Yes, damn it Erwin!"

"Fine…" Erwin resigned calmly with a troubled look, heading for the door. He had no choice but to resolve this issue in person. "I'll go see Levi myself."

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Damn him.

Damn Erwin and his shitty eyebrows to hell.

He saw it coming the moment that stupid four eyes came running to him at Ida's request. Still, Levi was adamant to argue right to the bitter end. That shitty brat was being unreasonable, he had told Erwin, she was playing around with the military orders.

But Erwin merely lifted a hand to stop him, asking him to place his duty above any petty argument that had transpired between Ida and him.

"You're spoiling that brat," Levi growled fiercely when Erwin did not falter.

"She's my daughter," Erwin had stated calmly with that stupid unfazed expression that Levi especially hated because it would surely follow up with another unreasonable explanation. "If I don't spoil her, who will?"

How right Erwin was. The redhead was truly Erwin's daughter, selfish and impetuous to the bloody bone, he concluded angrily. Well played Ida, he said sarcastically in his head, he knew her reasons for doing this and this served to inflame his anger at this injustice even further.

He slid his arms in his uniform jacket, grumbling a string of curses at that despicable woman and her unreasonable father. When he was done, Levi looked at himself in the mirror to smooth out the creases. He frowned when he saw that his hair had gotten longer. It was getting unkempt.

He went to his drawers, taking in pair of scissors before walking back to the mirror. In haste, he began to cut his own hair. Over the years, he had gotten quite good at doing it by himself, but with every snip he made, he began to unwillingly wander in his own memory.

His mother was the one to always cut his hair when he was younger, back when she was still alive. He recalled her kind face and her gentle touch. They didn't have much, but they were happy, he supposed — contented. Levi couldn't deny that Kuchel Ackerman was a loving mother, loving and caring for him right down to her last breath. But she was also a clumsy woman, for when every time she would cut her hair, she would clumsily drop her scissors or tug on his hair. It didn't matter to him back then, his mother was just showing her affection.

"Oh, I'm sorry Levi!" she would say each time in a nervous chuckle whenever he complained about her subpar skills. "I will try not to do it again," she would promise each time to no avail.

He stopped midway a cut, freezing as another memory assaulted him.

He remembered the last promise that she didn't keep.

"When I get all better… I'll cut your hair for you."

But Kuchel Ackerman never got better. And now as an adult, Levi could only remember her words that were cloaked with white lies; 'The doctors said I'm getting better', 'Don't worry, mom saved up enough for the medication', 'I'm fine, Levi.'

She was never fine for she had wasted away in her tiny room in the Underground City and he had to witness it all helplessly. He recalled begging for her to wake up, the acid that twisted his stomach awhile he starved in the darkness like it was a physical manifestation of his suffering. He could remember the stench of rotting flesh that assaulted him as he cowered by the wall in the single room they shared like it was just yesterday.

He was merely a child back then, but he was no longer a child the moment he had come to terms with her death.

At a young age, he was experiencing it all — pain, regret, poverty, starvation, death. He had been painfully aware of the harsh reality that was the shithole called the Underground City, perhaps that was why his emotional capacity to feel was stunted.

Levi clenched his jaw, looking at himself straight in the mirror. He analyzed his attire, pressed neatly without a single trace of creasing. Desperately, he willed his memory to fade in an attempt to compose himself as he straightened his cravat. However, another memory came into mind.

The figure of a tall, strong, well-dressed man came into his mind and he unwillingly felt his mind wander back to the time he first met Kenny Ackerman. Those stern eyes that were completely devoid of any emotions when he observed his squalid state — a starving child that was sitting in front of his mother's bed while her corpse decayed.

"I got you some midget-sized clothes and shoes too," Kenny had told him a while placing a bunch of knives in front of him. He remembered the first time he held a knife, the cool metal and how heavy it was. It looked so big in his tiny child hands back then. "It's high time you stopped dressing like a dirty-rat."

Kenny had always said that one should 'dress to impress', citing himself as an example — it was the only way that people would look up to you the Underground City. Setting yourself apart from the poverty-stricken people of the Underground only meant that you could survive, that you were powerful and privileged.

It showed how strong you were.

And so Levi followed, right to this very day. For as long as he remembered, Kenny's words resonated with him. He was never unkempt, he was never poorly-dressed, and he prioritized cleanliness to an extent it consumed him. He had truly taken Kenny's example to heart.

Kenny Ackerman, with his signature hat and his expensive cloak, would be his family now.

Levi clenched his fist, touching the mirror that reflected his appearance. But he left anyway, he thought to himself. The strange strong overpowering man who had saved him and taught him everything he knew, ultimately turned his back on him.

Just like his sister, Kuchel Ackerman, Kenny Ackerman abandoned him as well.

He gritted his teeth and mentally composed himself, shoving his bittersweet memories to the back of his mind. His real family was gone now, dead and probably rotting somewhere to hell. There was no point in dwelling in the past. With that, he took one more look in the mirror, before moving out the door.

He felt his mood sour as he approached the door to her private rooms. Clenching his fist in defeat, he contemplated skipping out on this whole stupid thing before he decided against it, recalling Erwin's stern orders.

Think of her as a big fat piece of shit you have to deliver to that shitty ball, he told himself. It's just a delivery service nothing more.

With that firm instruction in mind, he knocked on the door. "Oi, we are going to be late."

Her voice was sharp and clear from beyond the door. "Come in. I'll be done soon."

Levi grabbed the doorknob and turned it, entering the room. His breathing came to a halt when he saw her. There she was — the main source of his constant headache — standing in front of a mirror, dressed in an expensive pale blue long dress that contrasted starkly with her scarlet red hair. He frowned imperceptibly at her appearance, it'll be much harder to think of her as a piece of fat shit when she looked like that.

If he was truly honest, she looked breathtakingly beautiful. She looked so different without her uniform, so much more alive.

"You look ridiculous," he commented dryly from the door, watching her struggle to hook an earring to her ear.

The redhead rolled her eyes dramatically at his comment and snorted. "Will it kill you to say something nice for once?"

He closed the door behind him and leaned against it, crossing his arms in a show of impatience. "Hurry up, I don't have all day."

"Help lace me up," she said, turning her back to him awhile still fumbling with her earring. "I'm no good at this."

Levi's face darkened when he saw that her dress was still unlaced. He could feel the blood rush to his brain. What the hell? It was bad enough that he was forced to attend this shitty ball with her, now she was demanding things of him — things that certainly would calibrate dangerous sparks within him.

"Seriously? You can't do something so bloody simple?" he growled, looking away from her.

Damn you Erwin, he cursed inwardly again.

"Hurry up," he heard her demand again. "You said we're late."

His calculating mind wondered for a moment if this was all part of her plan to torment him. After all, that brat had intentionally insisted that she wanted him as her partner for this shitty ball. It was obvious what her intentions are — seeing as he had been actively avoiding her, she too would use all means and methods to ensure he wouldn't get a chance. That stubborn woman was effectively declaring war.

"Oi... You can't give me a damned break can you?" he sneered angrily.

"Unless you want me to go to that stupid ball half-dressed then you can stand there and continue spewing shit," came her snarky retort that hosted a sharp edge. "We have all night."

"Tch." Levi growled under his breath, he would need to have a stern talk to Erwin after this. That man could spoil his daughter all he wanted in his own fucked up fatherly way, but that didn't mean that Levi would stand for it.

However, Ida was just as fiercely obstinate as Erwin. Levi understood her well enough to know that until he helped her, she would just continue standing there, arguing with him to no end. He could already feel his headache throbbing. Without another word, he combed his fingers through his hair angrily as he walked towards her.

With firm hands, he avoided looking at her exposed back and went straight for the laces. Think of those damned shitty Titans, he told himself sternly. Those ugly hideous naked beasts. But try as he might, for Levi found himself still quite drawn her.

Things were taking a turn for the worse as while he was the middle of laces, he had accidentally touched her exposed back and saw that redhead jumped slightly. God damn this, he cursed at her reaction, hurrying up with the tying. He wanted nothing more than to maintain a distance from her yet there he was, doing such an intimate thing such as tying up her laces. Momentarily, he found comfort in the fact that he wasn't the only one feeling awkward about this situation. From her reflection in the mirror, he observed that a faint blush was present on the redhead's cheeks.

"...You're quite good at this." Ida murmured and she shifted slightly. He realized that she was making small conversations to help ease the physical tension between them, "...I can't seem to get the hang of this. Lacing up my gear is much easier…"

"I helped my mother with her dress when she was still alive," he told her in a dull monotone, tying the two strings together when he was done. He scowled when he realized that in an effort to not think of the awkward physical tension between them, he had let his tongue slip.

"I see…" Ida replied, looking as though her mind was elsewhere. "What was her name?"

"Kuchel," Levi stated simply. "Kuchel Ackerman."

A small smile graced her features as she turned around. "I would've loved to meet her."

He found himself holding his breath when she turned around, realizing that she was too close to him. Still, he couldn't help but study her pale skin, big emerald eyes, and soft pale pink lips. Without warning, his mind suddenly went to the passionate night they shared together, but he angrily chased it away. His hands curled into tight balls. Oh god. Levi wished for this night to end as quickly as possible so he could go back to fucking avoiding her.

His teeth gnashed together and he hastily averted his eyes away. "...Let's go."

"Wait." She grabbed onto his hand. "You just cut your hair, didn't you? Your undercut is uneven, sit down, I'll fix it."

"There's no need—"

Before he could say anything more, Ida dragged him to a seat, ignoring whatever protest he might have and went straight for the drawers. She extracted out a pair of scissors happily and walked back to him.

"Stop frowning like a child, Erwin said we need to look our best," she told him chirpily before setting to work. "Plus, didn't I cut your hair for you in the past? I did a great job, didn't it?"

Levi seethed in his seat in silence, not moving despite wanting nothing more than to launch into an anger-filled retort. Whenever that brat had set her mind to something, there was truly no stopping her. Best he get it over and done with so he can escape back to his office. Out of sight, out of mind, he would say. True, he was adamant in ending their relationship, but it wasn't to say he wanted to hurt her. Levi had figured out that she would understand his intentions sooner or later after a couple of days of cold treatment, but much to his chagrin, he discovered that it was easier said than done. He was a fool to think it'll be so easy, Ida had always been a formidable opponent.

Honestly, Levi had found it much harder to avoid thinking about her than he had anticipated. There was always something that would remind him of her, no matter how insignificant it was. That stupid couch in his office that she had always sat in, that dumb cup of tea that she had always served him, and even that god-awful stack of paperwork reminded him of her for in the past, she had always seemed to misplace it.

He didn't want to admit it, but he suspected that these were the signs of a lovelorn person. However, Levi was always one to think with his head and not his heart. Love was just a fleeting fickle emotion to a soldier like him. Love was an insignificant feeling that was bound to cease with time. Time heals all wounds, no matter how jarring it was. He was not capable of feeling love; all he had for her was comfort and passion, it was certainly not love.

But what Levi didn't know was that when you cease to love, you cease to exist.

He felt a sharp pain in his head, jolting him out from his thoughts. "Hey you're tugging on my damned hair," he told her snarkily.

"Oh sorry!" Ida apologized frantically. "I won't do it again."

Liar, he wanted to say. But he stopped himself.

"Mom, you're a liar."

Argh. Levi frowned as the words from his past echoed in his mind. Truly, he didn't know why he was thinking of his mother at a time like this, but he couldn't help but admit his surprise over the similarities in both situations, past and present.

"All done!" Ida declared happily with a grin, dusting the hairs off his shoulders. "I can do it for you anytime you like."

Anytime, she says, he thought to himself, a forlorn feeling bursting in his chest. He knew that one day, Ida too would abandon him as well. Just like Kuchel, just like Kenny. Ultimately, this vicious world spares no one. Love ceased to exist in this world.

Ida had left him once, and it would happen again.

No, he needed to end this once and for all. Before he falls too deep into her spell. Before they start another tragedy. Before this war-torn world rips them apart again. He needed to end this.

"Levi?"

He scowled, standing up. "Nothing, let's go."

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

"So, how goes the progress of the excavation of Jaron Starke's lab?"

"We're still on it, sir. I'm afraid that it will require more time."

"That's unfortunate, Erwin. I had expected results earlier."

"Apologies, sir. But if you would've spent more time ensuring that we had the proper fucking manpower instead of playing torture in your dungeons, I'm sure we'll be able to produce results that you want quicker."

"Levi—"

A sardonic chuckle erupted. "It's fine, Erwin… Always the one with the razor tongue, Captain."

Ida stood in the circle with Darius Zackley, Nile Doks, Erwin, Hanji and Levi in the middle of the ballroom. Her body was there, but her mind was in another place. She didn't really see herself as a leader. So frankly, she didn't really care for talks like this. She had always left the planning and scheming part to Erwin and the rest. It wasn't like she could contribute much anyway.

To her disappointment the Royal ball was a heinously dull affair — apart from the humiliating incident where Sasha needed to be forcefully restrained by her squad when she attempted to lunge herself face-first into the banquet table — nothing else really happened. Seeing as most of the military was invited, everyone just made small talk as they mingled with what remains of the nobility or went straight for conversations like these that were for official business.

How boring, she thought to herself bitterly, swirling the glass of wine in her grasp.

She supposed she could have joined Eren and the rest, the younger generation seemed to be having so much more fun. But then again, she was adamant to stick to Levi. If Ida didn't know any better, she would've left him to tend to official matters the moment she realized he would only tolerate conversations about Survey Corps future plans or whatnot. However she knew Levi Ackerman like the back of her hand — or so she wanted to believe — knowing him, he would've gone straight back to avoiding her the moment this stupid ball ended.

She let out an audible sigh at her predicament, taking a sip of her wine. It wasn't like she could drag him away like she wanted to. With so many eyes watching, Levi remained as apathetic and grumpy and ever. The strict 'no-nonsense' Captain everyone knew. Plus, she couldn't really disturb him when he was in a discussion about the fate of mankind.

"Due to the military's purge, considerable talent was lost from humanity's force," Nile told them. "I'm afraid this is all the manpower we can spare at the moment."

Darius Zackley nodded approvingly. "On the bright side, the nobility seems to be under check."

"What's left of the nobility you mean," commented Levi snarkily, his tone not hiding his obvious distaste for this man and his brutal prosecution of the previous aristocratic families.

Darius ignored the Captain's blunt words. "We are making good progress. Thanks to that captive boy of yours, we managed to even weed out what remains of the previous King Reiss and Jaron Starke forces within the military ranks and the government."

"Seth Fischer you mean," Erwin said impassively. "He asked for amnesty for his actions and that he joined my forces under the Survey Corps."

A flash of annoyance sparked in Levi's eyes before it settled. But he said nothing. Darius thought about it for a moment, before saying, "I'll leave it to your jurisdiction, Erwin."

"Sir." came Erwin's stoic reply of acknowledgment.

"Now, what about Rod Reiss Chapel?" Darius inquired flatly to the bespectacled Titan scientist.

"As per my report, we discovered large deposits of glowing ores at the underground cavern. Its composition is something unlike we have never seen before." Hanji elaborated pensively. "We suspect that it's made from a Titan's power. The ores don't seem to lose it glow no matter what. It'll need further testing before I can confirm but if the glowing ores indeed are an infinite source of power it'll change everything. It might even allow us to put together plans to retake Wall Maria sooner."

"You don't need to confirm or test anything," came Ida's sudden interruption. "The glowing ores never lose its glow. It's an infinite source of power, able to provide a limitless source of light. These can be disturbed to the population, allowing an immense burst in productivity. We can even utilize it as a source of light for night travels. It's that exact reason that the Reiss family have kept them a secret for so long, to prevent mankind's advancement."

When she was done with her statement, she looked up from her wine glass, only to be met with pairs of incredulous eyes staring at her. The question on their features were all too clear — how did she know about all this?

Wait.

How did she?

In that instance, a mind throbbing headache erupted in her brain and she took a step back, flinching from the sudden burst of pain as she clutched her head with clenched teeth. What the hell? Something was terribly wrong with her — how did she know about this?

"Ida?" Hanji walked towards her in concern, frowning. "How did you know about this? Did Jaron Starke tell you? Why didn't you say anything before?"

"...T — There's also a bunch of confiscated secret technology kept by the interior police as well…" Ida's crackly voice was barely over a whisper. Another pain like daggers transfixing in her brain shot through her and she grits her teeth so hard that it nearly broke her teeth.

"Oi," Levi was by her side that second, supporting her. "You okay?"

"I — I'm fine…" she mumbled absentmindedly. Her gasps for breath were audible, slow, and cumbersome.

Levi did not let his guard down as he regarded her. "No, you're not okay."

"Ida, how did you know all about all of this?" Darius Zackley did not seem fazed by her disorientated stature.

"I…" she trailed off.

How did she know? Something was wrong, seriously wrong because as Ida tried to search her mind for a memory of how she had managed to obtain this information, she was met with nothing. It didn't make any sense and she couldn't come up with an explanation for it. It just suddenly came to her in the midst of listening to their conversation, like a surge of knowledge from nowhere.

"Our bloodline is more special." Elsie Starke's voice echoed in her head, sending her into a state of paralyzed horror. Was this what she meant?

"Excuse me…" Ida regained her composure and desperately tried to still her shaking voice. "I — I need to go to the toilet for a moment…"

She did not allow anyone to say another word before she left the ballroom in haste.

Nile Doks was perturbed by her obvious reaction. "Erwin, what is that about?"

"She's been through a lot." Erwin covered up smoothly with a lie, not even allowing a flash of curiosity or doubt to touch his features. "It will take some time for her to recover."

This explanation seemed to sit well with Darius Zackley, for the man nodded his head in understanding. "Yes, I heard about it... It's no doubt that she would be troubled after all she's been through… Her mother died as well…" He turned his attention to the stoic Survey Corps commander. "My condolences, Erwin."

Erwin grimaced stiffly. "Thank you, sir."

The conversation continued and the atmosphere reverted back to normal. As soon as Darius and Nile were out of earshot, too engrossed in their own conversation, Levi shifted closer to Erwin. "I'll take care of the brat," he told him flatly, eyeing on Darius and Nile.

"Understood," came Erwin low deadpan reply.

Levi swept surreptitiously out of the ballroom and sped through the hallways quickly. He went to the women's bathroom first, only to realize she was not there. He checked the drawing-room next, she wasn't there either. Finally, he spotted her outside the headquarters alone, standing near the entrance. Her hands were wrapped around her bare arms in a bid to escape from the cold winter air.

"With the way you left, I thought you had a series of uncontrollable diarrhea," commented Levi in a dry voice as he approached her from behind. "Imagine my surprise when I went banging at the damned women's bathroom door looking for you, only to find that you weren't shitting in your dress."

Ida offered him an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I just needed some air."

Levi let out an audible sigh of irritation, picking up on her troubled mood. "What's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it now," she said dismissively. "Later, maybe."

Levi didn't think it was wise to probe any further. There was something despondent about her figure. Something was clearly troubling her. So he settled on remaining beside her as she stared out onto the streets, deep in thought.

"Wanna ditch this stupid boring ball?" Ida broke the comfortable silence that wrapped around them, turning to him.

Levi scoffed at her suggestion and humored her. "Where the hell can we go?"

"Away," she said firmly. "Away from all this crap."

His eyebrow barely arched in an inquiry. He eyed her figure, giving her a once over. "In that long-ass cumbersome dress?"

At his remark, Ida wasted no time in bending down and ripping her long dress before Levi could barely get in a surprised exclamation, "What the—"

"There!" She smiled happily. Ida proffered out a hand for him to take. "Let's go."

He didn't take her hand. Instead, Levi analyzed her with narrowed eyes, before scoffing. Just as Ida was so sure he that he would deny her request, Levi walked past her and onto the streets with his hands firmly tucked in his pockets. Ida smiled sadly at his retreating figure, reeling her hand back.

She followed him.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

The pair found themselves on top of Wall Sina.

A surge of memories consumed her as the icy winter wind caressed her bare skin, sending a shiver down her spine. The walk to the Wall was cloaked in silence as she had expected, however that did not stop her from feeling nostalgic as she looked at the scenery on top of the Wall. Somehow, all her most distinct memory of them happened on top of the walls and just being here had triggered it to replay in her mind.

She breathed in the cool air slowly, savoring it. She remembered the night the two of them were on top of Wall Rose, two tired and injured soldiers waiting with anxious anticipation for the legion to return with Eren. She recalled that lingering kiss they shared and the promise made with the stars as their witness. She remembered another time where they sat alone on top of the Wall as well, and how she told him about the stars. Ida smiled fondly when she remembered how amused he looked that she believed in such a childish thing.

It seemed like a distant memory now. How time passes so quickly during a war.

"Remind me why are we here again?" Levi interrupted her contemplation icily with his trademarked bitterness.

She rolled her eyes dramatically. "Because we are both bored, out of things to do, and I want to see the stars."

Stars were her way of saying that she missed the people that had passed, Levi knew. He wanted to ask her what she was thinking about, but then the events of tonight returned to the forefront of his mind and he resisted. He was getting too close. The distance needed to trickle back in.

"If you want to see some shitty stars, you can do it alone."

Ida did not even spare him a glance, she was too focused at sparkling stars that dotted the night winter sky. "You don't want to?" she asked in wonder.

"No," came his flat reply.

She scoffed quietly at his indignant remark and pouted. "You've always been the party pooper, how boring."

He stood next to her with his arms folded. A long string of silence ensued, before he asked, "Do you still believe that stars are the people that passed away?"

"Of course," she replied adamantly as if the answer was obvious. Ida pointed to the brightest star that she could find. "Look even Neverland is there."

He nodded almost absentmindedly as his gaze still remained fixated on her figure.

"Still sentimental," he commented lowly.

Ida said nothing. A hard edge had grown in his voice. Instead of riling her, his comment made her think again of his strange treatment these past few days. Levi's brutal blunt way of speaking had lost their effect on Ida a long time ago — his snarky comments did not bother her as much as the discrepancies in the actions. If he was so hellbent on avoiding her, why did he follow her here?

However, even with that said, his remark contained the barest traces of resentment that she did not let slide.

"Why does that matter?" she retorted calmly. "I think I can still afford to be sentimental."

Levi scoffed derisively, turning to her. "Really? I beg to differ when mankind is in the middle of a shitty war that doesn't seem to be ending anytime soon, and when people are dying like flies all around you."

For some reason, the way he looked at her—nearly accusatory and with disdain—made her seemed incredibly foolish. Ida fell silent as her hands curled into loose fists.

"Are you done looking at the stars now? Or can we go?" Levi broke the tense silence soon after minutes had passed. "It's freezing here."

"Are you still angry at me...?" she found herself asking. Only when it came out of her mouth did Ida realize how pathetically afraid she sounded. "That I left you that night..."

She thought there was a flash of confusion in his eyes before it settled. "No."

"Look… I'm sorry for betraying you, I had my reasons…" she said very quietly.

"You did nothing that wasn't your duty," came Levi's cold dismissive reply.

In a second, all the strength that was sapped away from her returned. 'Duty' — she was so sick of hearing that excuse and it triggered something within her.

"Is that all that you're ever going to talk about? Duty?" she confronted him, feeling a surge of anger rise within her. "Is that are that we ever are?! Superior and subordinate?!"

Levi closed his eyes briefly, unfazed from her outburst. Ah, here it was. Finally, he couldn't run from it anymore. The doings of that night had finally come back to haunt him. Just one night of self-indulgence, when Levi had finally and foolishly allowed himself to be just a man for one night, and everything had gone to hell.

She was bad news in every shape and form. The burdens of saving mankind from the Titans was stressful enough, and her presence did nothing to alleviate it. Ida was a constant stress, a near obsession as he thought of the appropriate course of action to keep his distance while not hurting her.

"You know the answer, Ida," Levi stated resoundingly after a brief silence that was cloaked with trepidation and anger.

"No." She shook her head defiantly, approaching him in a challenge. "I don't!"

"We are soldiers, in the middle of a fucking war!" He growled fiercely back, but Ida did not even flinch, her eyes still fixed with his in a furious battle of wills.

Levi had been patient with her, he had hoped that she had silently understood his intentions, but he had enough. Her constant confrontations were beginning to borderline cumbersome — it was much easier to forget when someone wasn't constantly reminding you about it all the time.

"So what?!" Ida snapped, half-shrieking as she tore her eyes away from him in denial. "Are we not human too?! Is there a rule in the Survey Corps that refrains people from being something more than a superior and subordinate, Captain?!"

He forcefully grabbed her arm and glowered at her lethally, forcing her to look him in his eyes. "We are nothing more than that," he spat hatefully.

"No, don't you dare deny that!" Ida snapped back vehemently, not backing down. She looked at him willingly now, her gaze was unwavering but her eyes slightly wet. When she continued to speak, though, her voice was steady. "We are more than that."

The hush that fell among them is stark against the heated dispute from a moment before and Ida could hear the pounding of her heart beating in her ears. She sensed the hesitation from him and his body shifts as if to formulate a reply, but Levi kept silent.

With narrowed eyes, she observed his taut features. Even now, Levi still wouldn't even permit a sense of softness to grace his face. That was how strong he was. That was how determined he was, she knew. Ida couldn't say the same for herself, she probably looked like an angry hot mess by now.

Still, she was determined to hold onto whatever pride she had left. "We don't have to abandon our duty. We don't have to change who we are. We will still be soldiers, we will—"

"—still be in the middle of a fucking war," Levi interjected harshly.

"I don't care." Ida retorted bluntly. She could already see the rising incredulity in his face and knew that he had found her absolutely ridiculous. "It'll be worth it."

"Nothing will be worth it," Levi snarled, his voice taking a colder, darker turn. "Nothing."

"It was worth it for me," she said, attempting to resist him. "...Even if we were to die tomorrow, it'll be worth it."

Finally, something other than duty flickered in Levi's eyes.

She took this opportunity.

"...Do you know, during the time I was with Jaron Starke — I could think of nothing else but you..." Ida admitted flatly, watching as his stoic features began to flicker as he comprehended what she had just said. The walls that she had placed around her were crumbling at a frightening speed, but Ida didn't care. She let it crumble. For she knew that in front of Levi, she could afford to finally be vulnerable. After all that she has been through, she deserved a break.

She could not help but notice a flash of bewilderment, of wary confusion—it passed as quickly as it came, he could not have her getting the wrong idea.

"You are the only reason why I came back…" she added quietly, analyzing him. "Why I betrayed my family... Because I couldn't do it, I can never hurt you."

"And what did you expect when you came back, Ida?!" Levi countered angrily, his anger hitting him like a backup reserve. He didn't want to listen anymore — for he knew he was starting to falter. Slowly, but surely, her words had impacted him deeply and it encroached his heart dangerously. He threw her hand, breaking his painful grip. "That we continued what happened? Start another shitty tragic and dramatic tale of star-crossed lovers on a fucking war-torn world?!"

Her pupils widen in realization, she did not care that the skin on her wrist was red from his firm grip.

Finally… Finally, she understood the main reason why he was resisting her so much; it wasn't just about betrayal, it wasn't just about regret, it wasn't just about duty — he was afraid.

He, like her in the past, was afraid of attachments, and perhaps that's why she could understand him. Levi found it unnecessary, he didn't need it. Attachments only brought grief, pain, and agony in a cruel world like theirs. Just like her in the past, it was his natural instinct to shun away from it, to run away at the first semblance of their hearts opening for someone else. People like them would never stop grieving, people like them would never stop hurting, people like them were incapable of feeling any longer.

Their separation had only taught Ida longing and hope. It had ignited a furious desire within her to finally live in the present, to relish every breath that passed through their lips, to spend a second in the comforting warmth of the people she loved rather than living a lifetime of walking around aimlessly in the ice-cold darkness alone.

But their separation had taught Levi something else entirely different, it had cemented his resolve to never again fall. That it was wiser to live alone for he knew the pain that would surely entail — he had felt it, tasted it, died because of it.

Levi was afraid of what was to happen if she were to die. And humanity strongest could never allow something like that — a weakness — to deter him from his duty.

"We are not Erwin and Elsie. We are not my parents." Ida gnashed, her cold voice strained. She glared at him for a moment longer, desperately clinging onto the last bit of composure she had. "We are different."

"How fucking different are we?" Levi only challenged in a deadpan, every word thundering into her body.

She fell silent under his glare, unable to conjure up with an explanation. There she was, in a fine gown that dictates her noble heritage ridden with dark sins, ready to foolishly throw away everything for someone she loved, and there he was, strong and determined with his soldier uniform, ready to fight for mankind and offer his life if necessary. Another tragic tale. Yet despite it all, even if she knew he was making sense, Ida was adamant to deny it.

"We aren't any different, Ida," Levi affirmed with hard eyes, determination anchoring his tone. "We aren't."

Denial pulsated through her, clouding their features. Tears dropped freely from her wide eyes and she retreated from him with a step back. "N — No… We won't be like them, we are both strong… Me and you… We won't..."

She trailed off — could she say that really? Could she promise that neither of them would die? That one day, after this war was over, they can finally be together in peace? But she had seen the horrors that war brings and she had watched even the strongest of soldiers fall. Ida was a first-hand witness to the terrors that the Titans bring. She was a seasoned veteran that knew the workings of the Survey Corps.

Offer your heart, dedicate your lives, to avenge our brave fallen…

Ida could not bring herself to say that neither of them would die, for she herself was prepared to die for that responsibility — she would gladly die when it's expected of her. Just like Levi, she had long prepared herself to die, trusting that the living will continue to fight to find meaning in their deaths.

There was absolutely nothing that people like them wouldn't do to secure the victory of humanity. They were the monsters that were devoid of any emotions. They were the sinners. They had dehumanized themselves to a point that love was nothing but a joke to them. Dread was all she felt as reality came crashing down upon her It was pooling like slime in her stomach, festering in her bones like some unwanted poison she couldn't repel. It dripped ice-cold down her back and relentlessly etched itself into her skin. Ida didn't even need her gut instincts to tell her where this was heading.

Levi was right as always, he was always right.

Levi's pupils widen briefly at her figure that was paralyzed from terror before it contracted back to his usual narrowness. He let out a grunt of frustration upon seeing her tears — almost as if he was regretting his brutal anger.

"Look at me..." he said quietly.

Ida refused, her eyes finding everything except his gaze.

His right hand slinked to her jaw and firmly gripping it, tilted her face towards his. An audible hitch in-breath, the sound of shallow breathing. He studied her tears. Everything about her was so clear to him — from her green in her eyes to her faint sweet scent. Levi realized that in comparison to the strong dependent woman Ida disguised herself as, he preferred this Ida much more, the vulnerable, the tangible, the understood.

"Are we really… that?" she found herself asking in a shaky voice.

"What?"

"Are we star crossed lovers? Destined to forever wander in what might have never been?" she reiterated, clearer this time.

He felt his grip slacken under her chin and he retracted his hand back. Levi closes his eyes briefly, trying to conjure up a suitable reply. But Ida knew his silence was his affirmation.

It was a long shot, it was probably suicide, but Ida did what she could only think of. She leaned in before he could even react and kissed him right on the mouth. In desperation to make him stay, to make him understand, she kissed him. She felt him froze, but she kept her lips pressed to his until she had to come up for air.

Her shaking hands slid up his wrist to claps it. "...Don't leave me."

Even though the man in front of her had the same apathetic and cold expression he had always worn, she knew that he was fighting his nightmares. Ida clenched her grip on him to a point it hurt her, she desperately needed him to know how much she needed him. "Please, don't leave me… I can't… bear it… You are the only one in this world—the only one—who I cannot afford to lose."

She watched as Levi's grey pupils contract to pinpoints, dilate again rapidly, and then return to something resembling normalcy.

Please, please, show something else... Ida begged internally. Anything, just a small sign that you'll break.

"It'll be worth it..." she promised desperately. "Every stubborn inch of it. I'll follow you to the depths of hell… I'll never abandon you… I'll stay by your side, fighting till our last breaths… We'll fight this battle together… We'll fulfill our duty together… So please… Levi… Choose me..."

"...It's exactly because of that, that we can't, Ida…" Levi murmured, still deadpanning. "It's for the best."

For who? She wanted to ask but she couldn't find the strength to even speak. For mankind? For you? But not for me, it was never for me.

She felt her erratic heart stop instantly as more tears poured out her eyes. It hurt so much that she started shivering as she started to imagine her life without him; her constant pillar of support, her source of power, her wings.

"I can offer you nothing," Levi stated firmly without a trace of despair that she felt. She did not reply, but her gaze was fixated on his, her eyes drowning at the sight of her very last lifeline. "This will be the last and final time. When we leave here, I'm nothing more than your superior."

No, she wanted to scream, wanted to cry, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.

Ida knew that tone — it was a tone that Levi had always used when he serious. The warning was all too clear. Wordlessly, Levi placed his hand on top of her hand that was still desperately holding his wrist and pushed it away. Ida didn't stop him as he heartlessly turned his back on her and sauntered away, leaving her behind.

The tremors of shock still rested in her fingers minutes after he left. Her heart was contorting in all sorts of ways, torturing her very soul and threatening to wipe her existence. Another lone tear traced down her cheek, and just like that, the floodgates opened.

Her sharp knees dig onto the concrete as she hits the ground, her hands unsteady as they silently claw at her chest.

She cried as if her brain was being shredded from the inside. Emotional pain flowed out of her every pore. But Levi never came back. No matter how hard she cried, no matter how hard she begged. All she had to comfort her was the ghost of him and the memories they shared.

When she was finally done — when she finally opened her mouth but not a sound comes out — she began to piece back her reality and whatever was left of her pride.

"...I'm beginning to understand you a little…" she croaked out the hoarsely into the still air. With tear-stricken eyes, she looked up to the sky. "Mom…"

The stars twinkled almost in response and Ida laughed languidly — in overwhelming pain, despair and hatred — she laughed at the stars that were mocking her.

"...Is this how you felt when Erwin left you, again and again...?" She found herself asking the stars again, even though they would never reply. "You… couldn't get him to stay, right?"

Her fingernails dug into her palms of her hand as her fist clenched, drawing blood. She closed her eyes tightly, feeling the soft moonlight as another trial of tears left their marks on her cheeks. Her voice was soft, her every word coated in immense loathing.

"Hey… Mom… Why won't you answer...?"

Elsie Starke had once told her that the moon and sun were lovers — every day just about when the sun was about to leave, the moon would forever come into sight. One glance, one meeting, and exchange of sad smiles and promises.

But the sun would leave again, leaving the moon to forever mourn all night.

"Why?" A young Ida had asked her mother in childlike curiosity. "But that's so sad."

She recalled a soft sadness etching itself on her kind features before she said, "Because… It's what the stars of the night had determined."

She laughed languidly again as the memory assaulted her. The octaves of her sarcastic laughs grew louder and louder as the hot tears spilled out of her eyes. Her world was spinning. In her grief, Ida cursed the stars of the night. Destiny? Fate? She didn't believe it. So sick was Ida Starke of playing into someone's twisted idea of her destiny that she vowed never to be deterred by it again.

Elsie Starke who said it was her destiny to forever be condemned by this world because of their sins.

Jaron Starke who said it was her destiny to fight alongside him as a Starke.

Erwin Smith who said it was her destiny to be a human weapon for mankind.

And finally, Levi Ackerman, who said it was their destiny to forever be apart.

If this was her destiny, she would deny it. She would rebel. She would fight. For destiny and fate are of one's own making. If this twisted world refused to bend, she would force it to. If destiny had set out a path for her, she would rewrite one to her liking in blood. Even if it was the entire world that was in her way, she would it wreak havoc on it in a heartbeat, for she had nothing left to lose anyway.

Yes, Ida Starke was a helpless spiteful fool.

And yet, she was strong enough to even defy the stars.

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Thank you to all those who reviewed! I'm glad that none of you felt that the long-anticipated reunion was badly done, it was pretty hard to write it frankly, trying to keep Levi in character was so hard T-T. Levi's backstory was based on an unnamed doushijin on pinterest - PM me if you want the link!

Do follow and favourite if you like this story! Thank you for all your encouragement so far! Please review :) it keeps me going.

Also; Happy 2020 to everyone reading this! As the new year renews all the happiness and good tidings, hope the joyful spirit keeps glowing in your heart forever! May all your difficulties and hardship stay in 2019! I hope you all have a great holiday with your families!

Until next time!