Chapter 16: Gainer Fall

If only things in the hospital had remained so calm and perfect. The next night after she regained consciousness, Sesshomaru went to the cafeteria to find something to eat. In all the fuss of caring for Rin he had forgotten to have anything more than snacks and was beginning to feel lightheaded from hunger. He ordered raw meat and a salad for himself and grabbed several pastries for Rin in the morning, because ordering breakfast would take an hour anyway.

As he approached her room, he was hit with her fear, the stink of rotten peppers, sakura petals melting in the hot sun, and her shrieking for help. The cardiac leads were blaring, and voices were raised. He ran into the room setting the food down on a counter to find Rin in the corner of the room with blood leaking down one of her wrists while two orderlies held her down.

A male nurse held a needle with something in it near her arm making Sesshomaru's blood boil. He had explained her anxiety to them, but this nurse wasn't the one that had been caring for her before and the female doctor standing in the corner trying to give directions was also new in her case. He pushed them out of the way, pulling the hands off her. "Let me go!" she cried over and over. "Please… don't hurt me!"

"Get off her!" he bellowed over the noise in the room. She climbed into his lap as if she were a child, hiding herself in his mane, curling around him, arms wrapping around his core for safety. He lifted her off the ground and sat down on the couch, putting pressure on her leaking arm. "Back off!" he warned, throwing his whip into the air for effect.

They shrunk back to his youkai building. "We need to sedate her. She hit a nurse," the doctor approached with arms folded. "And she pulled out her IV. She won't let us replace it."

"Take me home? Please? I don't want to be here anymore!" she sobbed into the hollow of his neck. "Don't let them hurt me! Please?"

"Shh," he soothed next to her ear. "You're safe. Follow my breathing."

"I can't," she whimpered. "My chest hurts." Her breathing came so quickly, she struggled for air. 135 bpm, 140 bpm, 150 bpm the monitor flared.

"She could be in cardiac arrest," the doctor tried to approach again.

"She's in the midst of an anxiety attack," he snarled at her. "Where is Dr. Okinawa?"

"He's off right now," the male nurse came closer holding the needle.

"I don't want it, please?" Rin cried.

Sesshomaru grit his teeth thinking of what to do. "Why Rin? The medicine will help you relax. Stay back," he held a hand up again. "She's scared. This is just anxiety." He cursed the staff change, before they had been rousing her to avoid this and usually only checking while he was in the room anyway.

"They'll hurt me in my sleep," Rin coughed, breathing so quickly she couldn't catch her breath. 160bpm.

"She's going to hyperventilate," the doctor said, coming forward. "If you really care about her, you'll let them administer the valium. It will help her sleep and she won't be awake when we put the line back in."

"Goddammit," he flopped his head against the back of the couch. "Rin, listen to me. You're safe." His palm ran circles around her shoulders and down her back. "Breathe with me."

"I don't want it." She held tighter to his chest. "Don't… I don't want it. Take me home. I want to go home, Sesshomaru."

"Rin," he brought his mouth to her ear. "It's just anxiety and it's just medicine to help calm you. I'm here, you know that. Nothing is going to happen to you." He stretched one of her arms out as she struggled against him.

"I don't need to be fixed," she tried to pry her arm loose.

"Rin, let them help you." He rested his forehead against hers and nuzzled her moist nose. Her hair was mousy and matted to her forehead and her eyes bloodshot. "I'll be with you. Breathe, in through your nose, out through your mouth." She finally acceded to his pleas. 150 bpm. "Again," he led her breathing. 145 bpm. "Keep going. Give it to her now." He kept her wrist extended, exposing her veins, even as she flexed against him.

The nurse finally approached, inserting the needle into her arm. Almost immediately she went limp in his arms, breathing peacefully. The monitor stopped blaring as her heart rate returned to normal. He lifted her off his lap and set her down in the bed. "What the hell happened?"

"We tried to take her vitals without waking her," the nurse said, guilt running across his face. "She swung a mean right hook and broke her nurse's nose."

"I told you not to do that while she is asleep!" he fumed at them.

"You aren't the patient and she is over eighteen," the Doctor motioned him to the side of the room. "I will apologize for overlooking her anxiety, but panic attacks like that are not normal. You behave as if you've seen this before."

He nodded, gritting his teeth. He had seen them many times before.

"Are you abusing her?"

"No! Why would I do that?" He would never hurt her, but had someone else? Has someone beat her? His mind raced through the many scenarios that could cause it to be this bad.

"Then why was she so scared of being put under? She said, 'they'll hurt me in my sleep.' Do you know what she was talking about?"

"No," he admitted, defeated. He never had gotten it out of her. The most he knew was that something happened to her that had caused them.

"I'm going to put a note in her file for the doctor to speak with her about anti-anxiety medication before she leaves and make a referral for the hospital social worker to speak with her. Was she abused by her parents?"

"No. At least not that she has mentioned."

"Sexually assaulted?"

"She's a virgin. We haven't… yet. She had a near death experience at eight. She was in a car crash that killed her family and she suffered severe burns as a result."

"It might be that. Whatever it is, something happened to your girlfriend and if you want to help her, you won't interfere again. Just ask yourself what happens if you are not here to help her."

He closed his eyes leaning against the wall then texted Inuyasha, Start making a file on Rin. I want to know everything.

Did something happen? The text came back quickly.

No, just make me a file. He went back into her room. The nurse had just finished replacing her IV and hooking her up to another bag of antibiotics. He sat down on the bed stroking the hair from her face feeling a knot in her stomach. She had told him how to open her phone the night before so he could call her parents if something changed and she didn't wake up. He dialed their number and waited. The line clicked on, "Hello?"

"Mr. Campbell," Sesshomaru said, folding his arms.

"Did something happen?"

"No," he lied. "She's recovering well." For a moment he felt intimidated asking this question. "I wanted to ask about Rin's panic attacks…" he left the sentence hanging in the air between them like a deflating balloon.

"I was wondering if you had seen those yet." He exhaled heavily. "They started two years ago. She came home from doubling in a Jackie Chan movie and honestly she hasn't been the same girl. She's barely shot movies since then." So it wasn't from the accident.

"Did she say what happened?"

"She didn't tell you?"

She lied to me, he thought, rolling his eyes.

"There was an accident onset. One of her castmates was injured badly right in front of her. It shook her up very badly. Is she okay?"

"She's fine," he said quietly stroking her hair. "She should be released in a week. I'll call back later." He hung up abruptly. "What are you hiding from me?" he said as she slept. She hadn't even told her parents the truth.

He retrieved his meal from the counter, ate quickly, then joined Rin in bed, exhausted. "What are you hiding?" She was so strong, so powerful, and yet so fragile. She could leap from buildings, climb ropes, and spar with the best of them, but these anxiety attacks. He didn't understand them. He pressed his lips tensely against her forehead as if he could heal her mind with the heat of his breath.

The next morning he was excused from the room while the social worker sat with Rin. He leaned against the closed door straining to hear what they were saying. The social worker was getting a basic history while Rin told her that she was fine, there was nothing wrong. "She's lying," Dr. Okinawa said, catching Sesshomaru eavesdropping. "I can smell it from here."

"She won't open up to her," Sesshomaru followed him to a seat by the window. They sat down together, Sesshomaru hung his head. "I hate this. She won't tell me what causes them. They come out of nowhere and she often becomes incoherent."

"She needs medication, taken regularly, and therapy. Even if she won't talk to you, perhaps there is someone she will speak to."

"I've tried," Sesshomaru matched the doctor's tone.

"Mate or not, you are not equipped to help her with these. Not as severe as they are. Encourage her to find help."

The social worker left the room and approached Dr. Okinawa. She tilted her head to the side, calling him away as Sesshomaru stood up, and returned to Rin. "I don't want to talk about it," she said quietly, staring off in the distance. "Just hold me? Please?"

"Forever," he said softly to her, joining her in bed.

"I'm not broken."

"No one said you were."

"I don't need medicine."

He could argue with that, they were near debilitating, and exhausting for him to deal with alone. He wasn't trying to be callous but what would happen, if he weren't there to help her?

Five days later she was finally given a mostly clean bill of health. Sesshomaru's saliva curbed the infection within a few days and the antibiotics did the rest. Though a scar remained, she was grateful she still had her arm. The doctors tried to convince her to take something for her anxiety, but she was set against it. It was time to go back to the college and that was all she wanted, to get back to the dorms, and her regular routine.

After finally getting a shower without Sesshomaru's help, she tried to do her hair into a braid, but with no luck. Her wrist was still in pain, making plaiting her hair difficult. At least she could dress herself. She put on a tank top, sweater and sweatpants.

"Rin?" Sesshomaru knocked on the door.

"I'll be out in a minute," she called out. She packed up her toiletries in the medium sized bag Kagome and Izayoi brought her. They sent fancy body washes, conditioner, and shampoo for her which was so much better than the lame baby wash the hospital provided. Rin rechecked the bathroom one last time to make sure she didn't need anything else. She walked out, turning off the light to find Doctor Okinawa and his nurse in her room.

"Rin, I see you're ready to go. I have some things to go over with you before I discharge you." He had her discharge papers in her hand. Sesshomaru sat idly on the bed listening. "It's very important you rest for another week, no heavy lifting. Drink plenty of water. Here are your antibiotics to continue taking for another week. They may upset your stomach so make sure to take them with food. Are you sure you don't want anything for the panic attacks."

"I'll be fine," she said happily, ignoring the pit in her stomach. I don't want to be different from everyone. "I'll make sure to take it easy."

"I'm going to leave an open prescription for clonazepam, if you change your mind."

"I won't," she said firmly.

"Come back to us if you develop a fever, rash, or any other sign of infection on your wrist or you feel overly fatigued."

"I will doctor."

"Do you have any questions?" the Doctor asked.

"Not that I can think of. I'm just eager to get out of here. I have so much classwork and homework to catch up on and I'm not looking forward to it."

"Very good then. You're welcome to walk out when you are ready." He bowed and left.

Sesshomaru rose off the bed and said. "Homework is where I come in." He wrapped an arm around her waist and dipped his nose into the skin beneath her ear. "I planned on you staying in my room until you've healed completely."

"Shoot. I forgot to ask about school."

"He said no heavy lifting, so that takes you out of my class. But," he turned and pulled her into his chest, lacing her lips with his own. "I could think of a few ways to make up for your work."

"Private study sessions?" she giggled excited to finally be able to be in bed with him without the fear of someone coming into the room.

"Very private," he whispered against her lips.

"So classes yes, schoolwork yes. Make out sessions?"

"Definite yes."

The sun was setting when they arrived at the school. Rin had wanted fresh air after all the time she had spent cooped up in the hospital, so she flew on Sesshomaru's back, while he kept a firm grip on her backside and possibly squeezed her ass a few times making her squeal. They landed in the courtyard. She was about to put her bag over her good shoulder when Sesshomaru grabbed it from her.

"I don't mind carrying my bag. And it's not that heavy for me," she said as she tried to get the bag from him.

He ignored her. "Not a chance. Remember what the doctor said, you're supposed to be recovering," he reminded her. "Do you need anything from your dorm?"

"Are you going to allow me to at least carry my other stuff?"

"No. Now, do as the doctor said and relax for the next week. I'll take care of you."

When they arrived at her dorm, the door opened before she took out her key, and found Koharu on the other side. "Rin, you're back! How are you feeling?" Koharu asked.

"I'm doing okay. Still have to be on bed rest for another week. Koharu, thank you." Rin pulled Koharu into a hug, for getting her the help that she needed.

"You're welcome, Rin. You really scared me. I'm glad you're better." Koharu looked up to see sensei behind Rin. "I guess you're here to get a few things?"

"Yes, I have a lot of school work to catch up on. When I'm fully healed, we'll have to get the girls together, and have an outing."

"I agree. Heal first, then we'll discuss where to hang out with the girls." They hugged each other again and then Rin grabbed what she needed.

Once in his dorm Rin changed into comfy pajamas that her mother sent her while she was in the hospital. They were pink, soft, warm, and perfect for the fall weather. They were from her favorite lingerie store Victoria Secrets. "Can you braid my hair?" She flexed her bad arm for effect and sat down on the bed. "The muscles still feel tight and I can't get a good grip on my hair."

"Of course," he said, sitting on the bed behind her. He picked up her brush and started smoothing her hair. "Hungry?" He pulled his phone out to order for them.

"A little. Something tells me you're hungry for a kicking cow," she joked.

"Chicken sandwich, fries, salad, and a strawberry milkshake?"

She nodded.

"Yes, I am going to get myself a kicking cow. Now you relax and I'll order our dinner. Hold still," he held her head straight. He divided her hair into three even portions and began plaiting her hair.

"Why don't you let me order dinner? It will be my treat for staying with me the whole time in the hospital."

She was getting ready to pull out her phone and wallet when he interjected, "No! I'll take care of it." He finished tying her hair off.

She rolled her eyes and smiled. "Fine. I guess I should get started on my work. Could you pass me my bag, please?" She yawned covering her mouth, still feeling tired.

"Still tired?" He wrapped his arms around her from behind, kissing the curve of her neck.

"Yeah," she exhaled, leaning further into him. "I still need to do some homework though. I'll sleep afterwards."

"Which class would you like to get done first?" Sesshomaru asked while he grabbed the many envelopes with her class work.

She took the envelope, flipping through them, looking for the easiest work to do first. She chose Izayoi's because she liked writing.

"What does Izayoi need you to write?"

"A new hobby that I want to try. I'm not sure what that would be. I'm good at almost everything."

"Well, what is something you never got to learn?"

"Well I never really got a chance to learn to cook. I guess I can go with that. I'll go with cooking for my assignment." She took her computer out and started typing. "Can I talk you into translating it for me?"

"Mmmh," he became pensive and slid a hand up the front of her shirt toying with her stomach. "Five minutes."

She wiggled, feeling heat pooling between her legs. "You're not helping."

His mouth came down on her neck, lapping circles, scraping his teeth. "Five minutes." He pushed the computer aside, the envelopes got thrown on the floor. "Five minutes," he said again.

"Oh fine…" She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, while he pressed a knee between her legs, rocking it against her core. "I missed this."

"Me too… no one to walk in on us."

By the time they were finished rolling around in the bed, enjoying their make out session, Rin rested on her stomach with Sesshomaru next to her playing footsie. "Will you teach me the gainer fall?"

Rin turned her head in shock. "Really?"

"Yes."

"But you can fly?"

"Which is why doing a gainer will be interesting."

"Okay, but for now, I really have to work on this." They lay together on their stomachs with legs up. "Get your mouth off my shoulder." She giggled as he nipped on her. "I'm going to sleep in my room if you don't stop."

"If you could get out before I caught you." His nose ran up her lips, bumping into her lips, over her nose and their lips connected in a slow and lazy kiss. "What happened to Takahiro and company?"

"Indefinite suspension. They aren't allowed back on campus and there is a warrant out from the demon courts."

"They don't know where they are?"

"Not yet."

"That doesn't make me feel any better."

"I'll be nearby, and when I'm not Inuyasha will be. We will find out why they are targeting you. Which reminds me," he rolled over and pulled a form from his desk laughing. "I think you know very well how to fill this out."

"Yeah," she said, putting it on top of her closed laptop. "Hopefully this will be the last incident report I have to fill out."

In the middle of the night, his phone pinged. Looking at the caller ID, he could tell that it was Inuyasha. I have the folder you asked for.

Sesshomaru texted him back, thank you and then looked at the attachment. There was nothing of any note that caused concern. She had been in China two years before filming, but there was no history of anything happening. As a child she had been sent to a few foster homes, but there was never any record of abuse. Once again, he was left conflicted. Should he approach her about her panic attacks or should he leave them alone? He didn't know what the right thing to do was. The one thing he knew was something was hurting her. Something dark, something wicked had happened to her, but he didn't know what.

A week passed and Rin was fully healed from the infection in her wrist and off restrictions. She hadn't faced another bout of panic in the week she had spent in Sesshomaru's room. She had spent the week attending classes as she was able to and as her energy came back, then cramming all afternoon long to finish her assignments.

Sesshomaru said she would take it slow when she was back in his class. Even she could feel that she was out of shape from the weeks off. They went running together that morning and she got winded, which was so unlike her. By the time she got to class, he had her paired against Kohaku to make it easier on her. They had planned to go to the pool finally.

They kept their distance from each other as they walked. Everyone once in a while she would bump her pinky against the palm of his hand to tease him. "Are you having fun teasing me?" he asked her.

"Yes," she giggled. "This is going to be fun."

"You're sure the pain is gone?"

"Yes. My wrist feels great, my stomach doesn't hurt, just give me a few weeks to get back in shape."

She nearly kissed him as they separated to change into their swimming clothes, but he rebuffed her. "Not in public."

"This is tormenting."

"There is one way to solve it," he leaned against the wall.

"Soon," and she meant it. Her previous reservations were beginning to fall by the wayside. He had spent an entire week non-stop at her side in the hospital. He had lapped at her wrist until his own mouth was dry and held her at night. She knew he was dedicated to her.

She grinned as she left him and entered the ladies locker room to change. She changed into her bikini by Apt 9 from Kohls. Putting her clothes and shoes away in the locker, she grabbed a towel and headed out to the pool where Sesshomaru was already waiting. She coughed, clearing her throat. No matter how many times she saw him bare from the waist up it made her breath catch. Her favorite was when he was balmy from the shower and his skin smooth and wet. She had been getting daring lately, nipping at his pecks during their make out sessions and a few times she kissed down his stomach circling his navel, making his muscles twitch. She suddenly felt very hot and red as she came up to him. His own golden eyes dilated seeing her in her skimpy bikini.

"Rin, you're making me feel very hard right now. And your smell," he said as they moved quickly to the diving board. "You really are making this difficult for me."

"Did you make sure to watch some of my YouTube videos for tricks?" Her own breathing was speeding up.

"I've only seen one video, though I prefer you to teach me. I can watch your body shift." And oh how he was watching her. She was gorgeous. Her hair was longer than when she first came, braided and hanging down by her bare back. "I'm going to enjoy watching you."

"Which part will you enjoy the most?" She held her wrists behind her back, teasing him with her question.

He came so close to her she could feel the heat of his chest against her back. "All of you. Show me." He motioned to the high board.

"Ready, sensei?" She took a step forward to escape his heat. "You're about to jump out of your pants."

He smirked back at her. "Yes." He wasn't going to say that she was right on both counts, if he got any harder he would come in his pants. His only recompense was that at least in the water he wouldn't have to clean himself afterwards. The navy blue bikini left very little to the imagination as she climbed up the ladder. It was a halter tied around her neck and another string tying around her back. The sides were also tied and a very big part of him, namely the part flagging the room in his pants, wanted those ties to come undone. She hadn't let him touch more than she did before the hospital. He ached to touch her, to devour her.

"Okay, wait on that side of the pool, and watch my moves very carefully!" She called down and yes he was watching her, very, very carefully. She was gorgeous when she was wet. She skipped to the end of the board, taking a few preparatory breaths.

"You are so beautiful," he whistled under his breath knowing she couldn't hear him.

It had been so long since she performed one of these moves. The gainer involved taking a bounding leap at the end of the board and flipping backwards towards the board without hitting it. She slammed her head into it once giving herself a concussion. Only she planned on diving afterwards. She took her running leap, lifting off the board she spun backwards then fell into a perfectly straight dive. She landed in the water to her surprise she found him in the water with her. He grabbed her around the waist and together they rose in the water, their mouths parting for each other as they swam for the surface. Just before they broke through, he parted from her completely. "What was that?" she asked him.

"I couldn't help it," he treaded water next to her, smiling.

"Your turn."

He bounded out of the water, flying up to the board and landed. She could watch him all day in his bright red swimming trunks. She licked her lips in anticipation watching him. "Show off." She held onto the edge of the pool waiting. "Go!" she shouted up.

He repeated her move, but not nearly as gracefully as she did, and then fell into a perfect dive, splashing into the water. She dove under too, wrapping her arms around his chest and sucking on his neck, while her hands explored the lumps of his chest. He propelled them out of the water and again they parted as they broke through the surface.

"So what's my score?" he asked, pulling himself out of the water and sitting on the edge of the pool.

"Mmh, for your first time… a 7.8. Keep practicing and you could compete."

"Diving competitions aren't my cup of tea."

"Why?" she questioned.

"I prefer karate competitions with those that can match my skill and power. I'll have to take you sometime and you'll see why."

"Oh! That does sound more fun. Have you won a lot of them?"

"Yes, quite a lot."

"Sesshomaru?" She inched a pinky to overlap with his. "How powerful are you?"

His gaze shifted to the water. "My father is known for being one of the most powerful youkai of the age. They say that I am next in line. But there is still farther for me to go. I haven't even manifested my own weapon yet."

"What does that mean?"

"Well, it's said that when we reach maturity, real maturity, we produce our own weapons from our bodies. My father has three, two were made from his fangs. Tenseiga can revive those that have passed on. Tetsusaiga, if you have the will to protect others, can fell a hundred demons in one blow. My own… I don't know. I'll know when it's time to retrieve it."

She smiled, proud of him. "I like being with you." Her cheeks bled crimson. Why did saying I love you seem so easy in the moment but when she tried to get it passed her lips she couldn't. "I really haven't ever… before…"

"I know. Your innocence wafts off you. As much as it aches to wait," he shifted closer to Rin. "I don't want you to feel pressured."

"What if we started… and I got nervous, or scared, and I wanted to stop?"

"We'll stop."

"It just seems, sometimes, like you lose control of yourself sexually."

He exhaled. "It is challenging for me, but it would be more important that you were made happy. I can control myself."

"Soon," she repeated herself. "I'm not on birth control."

"I have condoms."

"Where would we...?"

"Where do you want?"

"Anywhere… it can be anywhere?" Were they really talking about it?

"Anywhere I can enjoy you. It's likely once this starts between us, I will want you alone for several weeks."

"What about college?"

"Demon mating habits are part of our rights to attend college. The period of closeness that happens after a mating is considered as holy as any other establishment, marriage, childbirth. We will attend classes when I can stand to be parted from you."

She nodded thinking of when it would be a good time, but she had her own ache building and over the last week she had been cautious from pain. She was healed now. "Sesshomaru… I… I…" she started.

"You really need to cover your goddamn back up. No one wants to see that hideous scar you have," Akane shouted for the whole room to hear.

Rin and Sesshomaru jumped up to see the tanned girl from weeks ago. "Akane, you need to watch your mouth or you'll face a write up. This school does not tolerate bullying." How he wanted to hold Rin right here and right now. It was a battle scar, something to be proud of.

"What? I'm not allowed to speak my mind? That girl has hideous written all over her. Word around campus has it you two are dating, you must have gotten desperate since last year."

"GET OUT!" he shouted. Everyone jumped and turned to see what all the commotion was about. "You were warned, report to the main office, now!"

Akane turned around not before she had a few last words to say, "ugly ass bitch."

Rin closed her eyes, suddenly feeling very self conscious. She found her towel and hung it over her shoulders to hide the scar.

"Rin?"

She didn't even hear Sesshomaru walk up behind her.

"Why are you with me?" Tears peeked through the corners of her eyes. "Please say it's more than me being your mate? More than some primal need that calls to you."

"Do I have to answer that?" he spoke tenderly. "You are so brave and so strong, Rin. Your scars show the strength you have to come out here and not be afraid of your body. You have more courage than most people. It's one of the things I admire so much about you. It's not just the primal need within me, it's you."

His words fell on her like feathers, floating around her skin, embracing her and lifting her up. Turning around she saw that he was serious. "Thank you," she said, though the girl's words still hurt her.

"I want to ask you something in private after I go deal with her back at the main office. Just wait for me outside the dojo. I'll come for you." Their pinkies intertwined again for seconds, enough for electricity to pass between the two of them.

"Okay," She was feeling nervous about what she might be asked.

After Rin was changed she headed outside and sat on a bench outside the dojo. While she waited, she pulled out her phone, and called her mom. She wanted to give her an update after being back in classes.

"Hi Rin, how was your first day back in classes today?"

"It was good. Everyone was happy to have me back. How's the movie coming along?"

"Good, though you know who is being a show off like always."

"Eh, is he seeking attention again?" Rin had to ask.

"Yes, like always, but he broke his ankle this time, and we might have to shut down production soon. But I'm super excited and counting down the days till thanksgiving for when you come home and visit. We have so much planned for that day. All the family is coming and I already pre-ordered two big ass turkeys in advance."

"Nice mom, I miss you guys so much. I'm also counting down the days for Thanksgiving and Christmas. The food here is great, but nothing beats your cooking. What day do you fly home again?"

"I will fly home that Sunday. You know I need a few days of rest before I slave in the kitchen, Haha."

"Oh nice, so one day before me. I'll be there to help you out too. I've been wanting to learn to cook for a long time."

"That's excellent baby. Yes, with your help we'll do great. We can even bake your favorite desserts. Okay, I need to get back to work. Your father and I will call you later tonight. Love you."

"Love you too." After hanging up she began to sniffle. She was very excited to see everyone one in a few weeks, but she missed them so much.

Time went by so quickly when Sesshomaru arrived to find her crying again. "Rin?" He hated seeing her crying.

"Oh! Shoot, I must look like a mess. I just got off the phone with my mother. God, I need to stop crying like this. I just miss them." He took a seat next to her, keeping himself just a few inches off. "You had something you wanted to tell me?"

Looking around to make sure they weren't being watched, he leaned his lips to her ear. "If you allow me, I can remove your scars."

Her eyes dilated, she could see his sincerity. "What?"

"I need your permission to allow me to rid you of the scars on your neck and back. But if you wish to keep them I'll help support you and encourage you."

"Will there still be remnants that will still show?"

"No, you'll be able to see clear skin on your back again."

She took a deep breath. "Sesshomaru, you can get rid of my scars? After hearing her... calling me ugly…"

"You are not ugly. It's just a mark. You're beautiful."

"You really think I'm beautiful?"

"Yes, the most beautiful woman I've ever met. You are mine."

She smiled so brightly. "If it weren't for the rules, I'd be kissing you right now."

"We'll leave that for when we go back to my dorm."

She followed him back to his dorm. She had spent so much time there in the last few weeks, Koharu even asked her if she was moving in with him. She had said yes to him healing her back, but as they came up to the door her heart started pounding in her ears. There had been varying degrees of intimacy between them over the last few weeks. Kisses, hugs, she had let him start to explore the skin under shirts, up to just below her bra, but not farther. He had tried multiple occasions to touch her breasts over her shirt, but she had stopped him, now she would need to be naked from the waist up.

He opened the door and asked her, "Do you need the bathroom?"

"No." She felt like she would explode from nerves.

"Take your top off and lay down on your stomach." He approached the window and stared out at the sun setting. The sky cast pink and purple glows on his white walls. "I can hear your heart racing from here." He kept his gaze averted.

She growled at him lightly and exhaled heavily while she removed her shirt and lay down on his bed with her bra still intact. "I'm ready," she said as she breathed deliberately. She turned her face to the side so she could watch his approach.

He seemed to glide over the floor until he climbed into the bed and crawled across the mattress to where she lay. "You don't need to be nervous."

"You're going to lick my back!" she protested.

"It won't hurt." He ran his palm over her skin, then hooked his index finger under her white bra-strap. "This is in the way." His fingers found the clasps and started undoing them. "Just relax. Kami you're gorgeous," he said as he let his hands run over her bare back.

That made her breath hitch as the bra fell to the sides of her body. Her hair was brushed over her shoulder and even she could hear him panting. Was this so hard for him? "You're just licking me," she teased.

He hovered over her, running his hand over the skin of her shoulders. "This must have hurt so much."

"You have no idea… and afterwards," she shuttered. "Skin grafts, surgeries."

He ran his nose up the dip in her back, around her shoulders, sniffing her skin. He circled back down to the small of her back, then came the first brush of his tongue. He opened his mouth against the scar, not just licking but sucking at her flesh.

It made her stomach tense, her breath catch. It was warm and there was something so erotic about the motion.

"You're my mate. You're beautiful and," he shook his head while beginning to lap trails around her back. "So beautiful." He lifted her hair over her shoulder again until her pale colored back was visible to him. He opened his mouth, licking, sucking, and kissing her skin.

For a brief second, she quaked beneath him, but as his tongue continued to lap along the skin that had been burned, she took deep, and even breaths. Heat bubbled in her stomach. It was so arousing, feeling his mouth tingle against her skin. She gripped the sheets tightly, to keep herself grounded while he moved further up. As his mouth moved along her sides, more heat built up her thighs, dipping into her groin, overwhelming her.

If she were alone she might reach down and rub the ache that was growing between her legs.

He stopped momentarily to drink a cup of water that was next to them before he bent over again and lapped at the skin near her sides. "Mmh," she began panting. "Oh," it came out as a whisper. She bit her lower lip to keep from saying anything else. His lips clamped down on the side of her breast, then brushed up to her shoulder before coming down and repeating the motion on the other side.

She exhaled heavily as he moved up and seemed to lap possessively over her right shoulder and neck. "Wow." The bedsheets weren't helping, her hands moved to the pillows.

"Your scent is intoxicating," he muttered, his lips brushing against her ears. He lapped around to her left shoulder, around the shoulder blades, and across the part of her back where her bra strap had closed. "Sit up."

"Why?" she asked him, breathing hard. She pulled herself up, crossing her hands over her breasts. She hadn't noticed that he had taken off his shirt and was only in his pants. His chest was bare and made her whistle out air.

He touched her wrists lightly. "Put your hands down."

"Not happening," she said, shivering lightly. Her palms covered her breasts protectively.

"What are you afraid of?" He scooted closer to her, kissing her mouth, and cupping her chin, before wrapping one arm around her back.

"You'll want to have sex with me." She lifted her neck as his mouth found its way beneath her chin again.

"I already want to have sex with you. I'm so hard it hurts." He brought her hand down to the bulge in front of his pants. "Let me see. I can smell your arousal." He dipped the back of his hands between her legs and rubbed her lightly.

"No," she moved his hand away from her, letting one of her breasts fall from their hiding place.

His mouth was immediately over her right shoulder, nipping at the supple skin just over her breast. "Move your other hand. We don't have to have sex. Let me see," he said desperately again.

She set one hand on the sheets to help her stay upright, then the other came down and wrapped around his back as his mouth dipped down further. "Don't… please?"

He sat up and asked her, "What are you afraid of? May I touch them? It will feel good for both of us. Let me touch you." His hand came over her shoulder pulling it back to his mouth. His other hand dipped down her skin and cupped her left breast.

"Oh," she held his head as his mouth explored lower.

He squeezed it lightly, making her moan again. "I told you it felt good." His mouth flicked the tip of the nipple on the other breast with his sensuous tongue making her back arch. "You've never touched yourself?"

"It's never made me feel like this." She held on panting as his mouth worked lower, then covered her nipple. "Oh my god!" she moaned against him. His tongue swirled circles around her areola, making it hard.

"You haven't been doing it right." He took her hand and brought it down between her legs. "I already know you won't let me touch you here. Touch yourself."

"What?" She pushed him back trying to get her brain to stop feeling like jelly. Her nerves were on fire, her body was building heat.

"Touch yourself," he undid her belt and unzipped the front of her pants. He moved behind her pulling her onto his lap. "Spread your legs."

"I'm not doing this in front of you," she said half-heartedly. It was burning down below and she felt the need to anyway.

His palm covered the top of her hand and dipped into her pants, just over the heat of her slit, then slowly rubbed it back and forth against her lips. Instinctively her hips rocked into her own fingers as his other hand circled around her massaging her nipples. His lips ran circles over her exposed shoulder. She moaned at the contact as he put more pressure on her hand. She slid her fingers into her underwear and started rubbing her clit. "Not so quickly, like this," he guided her middle finger in slow circles over.

His fingers felt like fire against her breasts, and his mouth sucked firmly on her neck. "Wow," she arched against him. Her nether regions started flexing.

"Slide your middle finger inside," he pressed his palm against her fingers, urging the middle finger to find herself.

Her finger slid inside the wet heat. She felt his hand dip into her underwear with her hand. It held her fingers while his thumb took over stimulating her clit. "Oh my god," she breathed out again.

"Lift up," he pushed her middle finger in more firmly, while slowly running his thumb back and forth over her swollen nub. "That's it."

"It's so intense." She tried to close her legs.

He caught her by the knee. "Keep them open."

"I can't." She felt like she was burning. "Sesshomaru?"

"Harder," he hissed in her ear and pushed his hand in more firmly until she felt herself humping her fingers. "Come for me."

She couldn't hold back any longer. She touched herself in circles until she found a spot that had her biting her lips to keep from moaning any louder. Below she could feel his thumb circling, over and over and the more she tried to escape the heat and tension the worse the burning became. "Oh… uh… mmmh," she cried against his neck. "I can't."

His hand came down more firmly in her underwear. "Ride me." He whispered in her ear rolling onto his back bringing her with him.

His shaft dug into her crotch as he gyrated his hips into her unzipped pants. "Don't stop touching yourself."

Her breasts bounced as she rocked against him, fingering herself. She alternated between rubbing her clit with her middle finger until she was leaning over him while he suckled her breast. He released low, deep growls and groans of pleasure as he pressed against her crotch harder and harder. He pulled her down and lapped at her nipples. She felt herself tighten, then a pulse and another until she couldn't hold back the moan that reverberated around the walls. "It feels so good."

"Don't stop," he pulled her mouth to his and pushed her hand against her own clit. "Ride it out."

"Wow." She leaned into the next kiss. "What about you? I…"

He shook his head, rubbing the underside of her chin. "Did you think I could watch that and not come? Kami Rin." He rested his forehead against hers. "You're so beautiful, so perfect."

"I'm not..." if he only knew. She took her hand out of her underwear. Both her underwear and her hand were wet from her arousal. "I'm wet now."

"So am I," he chuckled. "I guess we both need a shower. Would you like to take one with me?"

"I don't know," she said quietly.

He nodded, sitting up and holding her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and nuzzled her nose. His eyes said something she could see dancing on his lips. He wanted more of her, and she wanted the same. "I haven't been so comfortable around anyone before," she whispered into his ear. "Sesshomaru?"

"What?" He smoothed the hair along. her face.

"I… um thank you. For choosing me," she pressed her lips into his, making more sparks fly between them.

"I should thank you," he said softly. "For tolerating me."

For a time she snuggled against his chest, still bare from the waist up, and never feeling more at ease before. Truthfully, she had never done what she had with him, with anyone and she was enjoying the warmth of his skin against hers and the way it seemed to envelope her entire body.

After that, she had gotten up to use the bathroom and changed into a pair of his jogging pants and a t-shirt. She sat on his windowsill thinking about what they had done while the shower ran. It wasn't his fingers inside of her and she wasn't ready for anything like that yet, but how she wanted to feel that again. What he had made her feel, the heat, the orgasm. She buried her face in her palms. "He made me orgasm."

But then the sound of the shower reminded her that he was blissfully naked and water was probably dripping down his rippled stomach and before she knew it, she was off the window-seat and by the bathroom door. She didn't knock, she opened it nervously, feeling butterflies in her stomach. Turning the light out, she closed the door behind her, and then opened the curtain. The bathroom was nearly pitch black, but she knew that didn't matter for him. She wasn't ready for a full-on nude-show from him, but she wanted. "Rin?" he asked, turning around under the water of the shower head.

With a hole burning through her middle she pulled her bottoms off first, then tore her top slowly off her shoulders, and stepped into the water with him. His hands reached out and pulled her into his stomach, "What do you want from me?" he asked in a low, seductive tone. "How far do you want to go?"

"Make me feel like you did before?" Her lips quivered against his. She laced her arms around his neck, pulling his lips down on hers. The hot water slushed over their bare bodies as he pulled her under the water.

"Can I finger you?" he asked between licks to her neck and massaging her breasts while pressing himself against her. One hand slid down her body between her legs and gingerly pressed against her nub.

"I'm…" she tried to protest, despite opening for him.

"Then let me do something else," he whispered in her ear. "Trust me." His mouth worked in circles. First to her breast, drinking the water running down her skin. His mouth inhaled her nipple, swishing his tongue around the tip, while she moaned against his neck. The other hand cupped her sex, tenderly teasing it with caresses until his mouth fell like a waterfall, licking, and kissing his way onto his knees. "You're still shy," he said as he tickled her curls.

"What are you doing?"

"Put your leg over my shoulder."

"Sesshomaru?"

"If my fingers may not enter." He ran his hands up and down her sides. "Then let my tongue."

She closed her eyes gulping and slid her leg up over his shoulder, feeling his hot breath against her lips. This was new. She had definitely never done this with anyone. A nose dipped in first, lifting the flesh, and parting her slit. She felt his lips brush against where she opened and a powerful hand against her hip to stabilize her. She swallowed hard when the same puckered lips reached inside, tongue first, pulling her clit from its hiding place, and suction surrounded it. "Mmmh," she whimpered in pleasure. She reached out to the slippery wall for something to hold onto while the suction lessened and his tongue dipped lower into her opening. The soft flesh entered her, making her squirm in anticipation. He took his time licking her, penetrating her with his tongue until she felt herself burning. She panted trying to control the low moans. "Sesshomaru?"

"What?" he pulled his mouth away.

"I…" she struggled, "I want something inside."

"Turn around," he rose and pressed himself against her back. "Give me your hand." His cheek rested against hers while he led her hand down to her opening. "Use your middle finger again," he kissed her neck. "One day, you will let me touch you." He helped her slide her finger in, while his own slid under her palm, teasing and toying with her bud. The other arm held her upright as the pleasure increased. She felt the swelling at her entrance again and pushed against it until she felt so good she couldn't see. She moaned and he held in her place as the orgasm raced through her body. She smiled, turning around to face him in the water.

She grasped his shaft, tugging on it, quickly, the pace she had learned he liked. He leaned into her hands, thrusting his hips into her palm, while massaging her breasts. She felt the familiar flash of his liquid against her stomach, only seconds before the shower washed it away. "Why did you turn the light out?" he asked as he reached around her to turn the water off. "Are you still so shy?"

"I get nervous," she bit her bottom lip. "Can we," she said, hugging his back. Tears slid down the sides of her cheek. "I need to tell you something."

"Rin?" He pivoted, still holding her. "What is it?"

She hugged him crying, feeling a pain she hadn't felt in a long time. He ran his hand up her back and into her wet hair. He tugged her neck back and kissed her lips, tasting the salt inside her mouth. "You don't have to tell me now."

She swallowed, losing her resolve, and nodding. She wanted to tell him, she wanted him to know. She needed him to. "I need to go back to my room." She shivered as the air began to cool around them. "I have a lot of homework to do."

"Come to bed for a bit. I want to hold you. Whatever it is, you will tell me when you are ready."

The rush of cool air tingled against her skin. "I should get dressed."

He pulled on her hand to get her out of the bathroom. "Like this," he sat down on the bed, folding her into his lap. In the morning she would tell him… everything…

K4terMurr: Thank you! We also enjoyed the hospital scene and how it brought their relationship closer! Thank you for the review!