Humanity's Strongest Woman

by xDollfie

In every empire, there is an epic era that defies the boundaries of time and immortalized itself in the history books. For mankind, an epic era they will never forget has finally emerged. The war between humanity and Titans has finally come to a head. Love cease to exist in a time like this, but they found it, and promised that it'll be worth it. Every stubborn inch of it [LEVIXOC]

35. The Fallen

Thank you 92 is half of 99 for beta reading this chapter! You've been a great help!

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Humanity's Strongest Woman by xDollfie

Chapter 31 — The Fallen

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Well, this is awkward, she thought despondently as she trailed the two male figures in front of her.

As their feet continued down the sidewalk to the Military Headquarters located in Wall Sina, Ida found it harder to maintain her apathetic ensemble. Just being around him was nerve-wracking, and with each hour that passed ever since she had learned Levi would be following on this trip, anxiousness was riding up nerves of her body.

"Do you have all the materials, Ida?" Erwin asked suddenly, breaking her out of her stupor. "Hanji gave you her reports, right?"

Reports? What reports?

Her world screeched to a halt as she frantically searched her memory.

Oh shit, she had left it back at Trost on the table in the mess hall.

"Uhm…" Ida blurted out weakly, digesting the implications.

The scheduled monthly meeting of the three military branches was today and Ida had come in place of Hanji who was too busy with the engineering team to attend. Trost was a few hours away and she'd heard Queen Historia would be in attendance, so being late was out of the question.

In simpler terms, there was absolutely no way she could go back and make it back in time.

"I've got it," Levi's smooth low voice reached her ears. "The reports are with me, Erwin."

"Oh," Erwin mumbled, nodding his head. "Alright, thank you, Levi."

Thank the heavens!

Ida let out a disbelieving exhale, saved from Erwin's lecture that would surely follow when he finds out she had screwed up again. How could she be so irresponsible? But Ida wasn't about to blame it entirely on her forgetfulness, it was Levi's fault — why did he have to come to this meeting?! Things were already as awkward as it was between them, she didn't need to brood over being stuck in a carriage with him for hours!

Her spine stiffens when she realized that Levi was glaring at her with slight reprove, his gaze rife with judgment. He was certainly not amused at her irresponsibility.

"The meeting will commence in an hour," voiced Erwin, squinting his eyes at the afternoon sun. "You two can go take a walk around first, I'll go see Nile. Don't be late for the meeting."

"Yeah." Levi waved him away.

Ida's feet instinctively took two steps back as her thumping heart accelerated with fear. Crap! In a quick heartbeat, she forged on with trying to think up alternatives to get Erwin to stay or an excuse to follow him — she didn't want to be left alone with Levi!

However, before she could conjure up a solution, Erwin — who was painfully oblivious to her plight — casually pivoted around, hurrying ahead after taking the stack of reports in a brown envelope from Levi.

Shit! Shit! Shit!

She should've shouted: 'Come back you stupid eyebrows! Don't leave me with him!'. Alas, at this point, her voice somehow became lodged in her throat. This was her karma for falling stupidly in love with someone she was working with, and now she had to pay the price. Left alone with Levi, her body stiffened again when their gazes met.

Their strained silence persisted under his scrutinizing stare.

This was just her luck; she had been so successful in hiding from him for the past few days and Hanji just had to be busy. Ida wondered miserably if Hanji or Erwin was doing this intentionally, and if they were, she concluded that they really did have a deadpan sense of humor.

A brooding sigh escaped Levi's lips before he attempted to break the silence, "Ida—"

"I understand there's no need to talk between us, but the fact is we still need to see each other for official reasons," Ida interjected caustically, afraid that he would again ask her to leave the Survey Corps. "So, with that said, I won't bother you with my presence for anything other than what's necessary, don't worry about it."

She wondered if this was her imagination, but somehow Levi's expression darkened with a tint of unease at her statement. Ida had chosen her words carefully, not wanting to trigger an argument, but even then, his reserved hostility was palpable.

When silence threatened to cascade upon them again, Ida hurriedly added for good measure, "I've gotten rid of it."

It didn't take much for Levi to understand what she was referring to. His dark grey eyes trailed down from her face to her empty wrist. His brows crumpled into a frown and his expression darkened further. Her bloodstream stuttered to a stop. In that frozen moment, Levi no longer appeared like the man she loved, but a lethal instrument of mass destruction.

A lethal instrument that completely dismantled her heart and sent her world into chaos.

And now, Ida wanted her world to return to normalcy more than anything.

There was only so much one could take, and Ida had taken a violent thrashing that left her broken and half dead. And yet she had risen from the grave again. After she had calmed down from the events of that awful night and after days of intense self-reflection, Ida had reached a conclusion that she would pursue him no more.

She had to be stronger.

She was better than this.

She could not allow him to fully define her life.

Because if there was one thing Ida feared more than spurned love, it was the fact that Levi had asked her to leave the Survey Corps. While she doubted his capabilities in getting her to retire seeing as Erwin saw her as an undeniable asset to the legion, Ida was terrified by the vision that she couldn't be by his side if she was forced to leave.

So terrified that she concluded that it was better to live like this.

She had lost the war between them, and the fallen could only beg for mercy from the victor.

Levi need not remind her about what type of person he was any longer; that he was altruistic, that he was unbreakable, and that he was cruel.

When his empty eyes finally moved back to her gaze, Ida had already braced her heart, and yet seeing the recognition inhibiting Levi's strong unyielding eyes still afflicted her with the same sort of misery she was well accustomed to.

Even now... Ida thought sadly. Even now, he would not break.

She appraised him with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "...From now on, it'll be just like you wanted."

"Captain and subordinate," Levi's voice was hoarse and strained and his eyes narrowed down suspiciously as though observing her for any traces of lies.

"Captain and subordinate," Ida reiterated, her forced smile still present. She courteously angled her head at him and added, "With that said sir, I'm now on my break, so excuse me. I'll see you at the meeting. Thank you for taking Hanji's reports, I must've forgotten, it will not happen again."

Without waiting for a reply, Ida simply pushed past him and scurried down the street, not even looking back once.

Levi's eyes darkened ominously as he watched her leave. Anger, need, and guilt suffused his expression and his strong shoulders felt unbearably heavy. Levi fought hard for the desperate need to chase after her — to tell her the truth that this wasn't what he wanted either, that if anything, he never wanted to hurt her. But what was the point? Ida hated apologies that didn't have any solutions and she hated senseless explanations more than anything.

Levi had wanted to have a proper talk with her, but now it was clear to him that there was no need for it.

Ida had finally taken the hints and had made up her mind.

And it was now time for him to do the same.

Even if it was slowly killing him.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Mikasa Ackerman expelled a sullen sigh.

She had spent all morning training and had just taken a shower to rinse off the sweat. Now, she had set out to find the number one person in her list of priorities. Concern inundated her eyes as she scanned the mess hall, only to be disappointed that the person that she was looking for wasn't there.

She frowned. Nowadays, Eren Yeager was preoccupied with hardening experiments with Hanji and she hardly ever got to see him except for night-time. But from her memory, today was his off-day, and Mikasa was never wrong about anything concerning him.

He is pushing himself too hard, she thought gloomily. I'll need to have a talk with him, he hardly has any time to rest.

"Mikasa." A chilly voice stopped her before she could rush out of the hall.

She raised a curious brow, knowing that the familiar voice belonged to. "You were looking for me?"

Ida Starke was seated at one of the available tables at the mess hall. She did not even look up when Mikasa approached her, too busy fixing a button on a uniform jacket.

Weird, Mikasa observed. Ida certainly didn't look like the type that would know how to sew — too much of a tomboy if she were to say so herself.

"There's a hole in your scarf," she said, her fingers expertly moving the needle and thread. "You should know by now how much the midget hates things like that. You should get a new one before he nags at you."

Mikasa touched her red scarf gingerly. She hadn't noticed. For such an important object to her, she could've taken better care of it. A wave of sadness washed over her as her fingers remain on her scarf — her lucky charm, her memento, her reason for living.

She could tell that Ida was perturbed by her lack of response from the way her emerald eyes were carefully assessing her features.

Ida exhaled deeply, looking as though she had concluded something. "If money is an issue...The next time I'm in town, I can get one—"

"N — No!" Mikasa quickly cut in, pulling the scarf closer to her face. She watched as Ida's brow raised at her jumpy reaction and she cleared her throat. "It's fine, really… Thank you..."

Mikasa could see the exasperation shadowing Ida's features when she shook her head. She outstretched her hand, "Hand it over then, I'll fix it."

"It's really okay." Mikasa tried to resist, she certainly didn't want anyone touching it — what if Ida ruined it?

She couldn't possibly risk destroying her precious red scarf. But Ida's proffered hand did not move, and her expression had morphed into that of insistence.

"Don't make me repeat myself, Mikasa," stated Ida. "I know it's important to you. Trust me, I won't ruin it."

At her insistence, Mikasa exhaled in resignation. Unraveling the scarf from her neck, she handed it to her. Ida's green eyes rippled with dry amusement as she peered up to her. As Ida set to her task, Mikasa supplanted her feet firmly on the ground.

"If you're so worried, take a seat," Ida offered when she noticed that Mikasa was staring at her intently. The perspective redhead had picked up on her anxiousness. "I'll be done in a while."

Mikasa compiled, taking a seat next to her. She watched in silence as Ida patch the hole with ease. The sight of it reminded her of her own mother. How she would sit beside her when she was just an innocent child, learning how to do the embroidery that had been passed down from her family through generations. Her heart expanded warmly at that memory.

"E — Eh!" Mikasa gasped when she felt something fuzzy prodding her leg. She looked down only to find that Ida's dog was there under the table. It sniffed her with its wet nose before it smiled and wagged its tail.

Ida chuckled softly, her chest rising. "Don't mind him, he seems to like you."

Mikasa patted the dog endearingly. Pets weren't allowed at the headquarters, but Ida always had a way of bending the rules. She smiled softly at it, enjoying its company.

Then she reverted her attention back to the fabric in Ida's hands. "...You seem quite good at sewing…"

"My mother always said a woman should at least know this much. She wanted to prepare me for when I have my own family," the redhead answered honestly. She paused mid-stitch and a certain solemnness settled in her eyes. "...Not that it matters now..."

Mikasa wondered gloomily why Ida could bring up her dead mother so easily. Her hand went to rub her bandaged wrist on its own accord — her bandaged wrist that she had never shown anyone apart from Eren for it contained a mark that her mother had told her to pass onto her children.

She remembered thinking as a child that she would continue her mother's practices with her own children as well. When she was younger, she had dreams about her future; a simpler future. A family, a warm home, peace, and contentment — a future that shattered the day those bandits killed her family.

Her intrusive gaze wandered to Ida and she wondered if it was the same for her as well.

"Having a family, settling down…" Ida said quietly as though reading her thoughts. Her visage portrayed the same calm neutrality. "It's not for women like us, I suppose..."

"Yeah..." Mikasa mumbled hoarsely, her mind in another place.

She hadn't really given much thought to it: her future. Mikasa had long decided that thoughts like these were unnecessary — all she wanted to do was to follow Eren to the depths of hell if that was where he wanted to go. He was her constant obsession; every breath, every heartbeat, every blade she had drawn…

It was all for him.

"You don't like me, do you?" came Ida's sudden question that caught her off-guard.

"It's not like that," she said, her fingers nervously fidgeting with one another. "Uhm…"

Ida offered a small knowing smile at her awkwardness, "Well… At least you don't hate me as much as you hate that irksome shortie."

Mikasa lifted her head and looked at her head-on. "He... did what he had to save him, and a part of me is grateful," she explained softly. "He even saved me, but it doesn't change the fact that I'd watch him beat Eren while he was helplessly chained."

It was one of the worst moments of her life and Mikasa Ackerman had plenty.

"...But I understand him..." Mikasa added swiftly, averting her eyes away. "I respect him now."

Ida bobbed her head as she digested her explanation. Her expression was cool and unmoving when she said, "...That last time we spoke in private you told me that Eren gave you this scarf."

Mikasa's almond eyes thinned considerably, as did the tight press of her rosebud lips. She didn't know why Ida was bringing it up now.

A small smile lifted the corners of Ida's lips. "Don't worry. I told you the same thing last time, I know what it's like to hold onto something… So, you're not the only sentimental fool here. I too... have some things that I could never throw away no matter what."

Mikasa's eyebrows furrowed upon hearing that, unable to fully comprehend the meaning behind her enigmatic message — Ida had always been a very hard person to read.

She was finally able to decipher Ida's message when she followed the redhead's line of vision and saw a candy charm bracelet on top of the table beside her. It was laid neatly on top of the napkin. Although it shone as if it was just polished, the bracelet had prominent scratches on it and some of the colors had faded.

"I know it's not my place to ask…" Ida's flat voice broke her out of her observation. "But why do you always follow Eren around?"

She bristled. Mikasa hadn't expected that question. "He's family," she stated easily. "...I… I just don't want to lose another family member again."

"He saved you, didn't he?" Ida said apathetically. "...Gave you a family and wrapped this scarf around you when you're alone… That's your will to live, isn't it? You want to protect him."

Mikasa was bewildered by the turn of conversation; she didn't know why the aloof uncaring redhead was suddenly bringing Eren up, nor could she understand how Ida understood her so well. It wasn't like Ida had paid any interest to the personal lives of her comrades.

It was rather awkward for Mikasa to hear those true statements out loud and she quickly looked away, her cheeks heating up.

Ida noticed that the girl in front of her had fallen silent and she looked up. She chuckled harmlessly at her innocent reaction.

"Blushing suits you," she teased softly.

"I — I'm not blushing…" Mikasa denied it instantly. Instinctually, she wanted to reach up to her scarf to cover her face, but then she realized it wasn't there.

An innocent smile adorned Ida's lip. "Relax, it's just us girls," she said. "Because of your intense devotion to Eren, I can see why many would suspect otherwise."

Thankfully, this time around Mikasa understood what she was talking about — oftentimes, the both were mistaken for lovers.

Frazzled that she had nowhere to hide her expression, she opted for a change in the focus of the conversation, "Isn't it the same with Captain and you?"

She watched as Ida paused mid-way through a stitch before she continued, unbothered. As usual, her face was annoyingly devoid of any emotions. Mikasa silently wished that she'll show something else.

"...Yes…" Ida admitted to her utmost surprise. The forced smile on her face abruptly evolved into an uneasy one as she continued, "...Which is why I will say this only once, Mikasa... Don't allow your obsession with him to define you. It's good to live and think for yourself sometimes. You're much more than your love for him — you should find another purpose other than standing by his side. You're young, beautiful, and you have your future ahead of you. It's not wrong to dream of something else other than protecting him in this stupid war."

Mikasa did not know how to respond to her. She admitted that Eren was her number one priority, and it was clear to anyone around her. But it disturbed her that Ida had called her out so openly, it left her feeling uneasy and vulnerable.

"...Eren saved me, he gave a purpose," Mikasa stated firmly after a lapsed silence. "He's my family and I will never abandon him no matter what."

"Tsk..." Ida made a sound underneath her nose, shaking her head and looking as though she was disappointed that Mikasa didn't get her main point. "...And here I thought that I can give you some advice, but it turns out… you're just as hopeless as me."

With a final stitch, Ida cut the thread and smoothed out the creases of the scarf before handing it back to its owner. "Here, it's done."

Mikasa took the scarf and immediately wrapped it around her neck. She just didn't feel right without it — she didn't feel safe. She smiled softly, grabbing the scarf and pulling it up higher to hide her expression.

Ida smiled as well, having caught Mikasa's contagious smile. "You Ackermans sure are a dull serious bunch, not chatty at all, always frowning, the loner type... but who knew that you'd look so alive when you smile," she commented. Ida paused hesitantly before she added, "...Just promise me something, Mikasa."

"Mhmm?" Mikasa hummed distractedly.

"Think for yourself," Ida said simply with a smile. "I'm only saying this because I care about you."

Again, Mikasa was at a loss for words. She didn't know how to reply. Often, Armin had reminded her to 'think for herself' but hearing it coming from someone like Ida—who was known to be reclusive type and never speaking unless necessary—she began to wonder just how obvious her actions were.

In silence, she re-evaluated her life. She remembered all those times; how she would cut her hair just because Eren said it was getting longer, how she wanted to die because he wasn't here, how she drew her blade time after time for him...

Every choice she made — it was all for him.

The only decision she had ever made for herself was to follow him relentlessly no matter what, to fulfill her promise to Carla Yeager that they should always 'help each other out when they're in trouble'. But then again, was it really for herself? Or was it for him as well?

Was there even a difference now?

But the glaring question was, why was Ida telling her this now? It wasn't like she was particularly close or warm towards her.

Realization dawned upon her and Mikasa was thrown back into reality. She stared at Ida — who had the same small knowing smile still displayed on her lips — and her eyes bloomed.

Because she knew deep in her heart, that despite their differences, they were the same.

Ida seemed to have understood what she was thinking, and her smile stretched.

"Good girl…" she said soothingly, standing up and she began to pack up her things. When Ida was done, she threw a definitive glance at her and added, "Another piece of advice from someone who knows what it's like to desperately want to stay by somebody's side. Men are pretty dumb creatures so don't get your hopes too high up. If he wants you in his life, he'll put you there. You shouldn't ever have to fight for a spot. Don't be like me."

Mikasa's eyes broadened further as she digested the meaning behind the contents of her words. She was in the process of contemplation when a familiar voice awakened every sense in her body and dispelled her current state of shock.

Eren Yeager came bustling into the hall with Armin Arlert. The two were caught up in an enthusiastic conversation about Jean. Ida regarded the girl in front of her carefully, watching as her eyes lit up at his appearance.

Ah truly, Mikasa was just as hopeless as her.

"Eren, come here," Ida beckoned him to come to where she was.

He looked surprised at her call, throwing a questioning glance at Armin who looked equally as confused as to why she was calling him.

Uneasily, he compiled and walked towards her. "Yes, Ida— OW!"

Upon his arrival at her table, Ida immediately smacked the back of his head.

Eren clutched onto the back of his assaulted head in pain. Ida always did have incredible strength. Her petite size surely did not do her justice. "Ouch! Ida-san why did you—"

"Listen you little brat, if you ever hurt Mikasa in the future or make her cry, I'll sew your little asshole shut so tight, you can't take another shit, you hear me?" Ida glowered superciliously at the frazzled boy who was having a hard time keeping up with the turn of events.

Eren was bewildered. "Huh?"

"Do you understand?"

"Y — Yes!" He squeaked when her tone grew dire.

"Good," Ida nodded approvingly. She gave a stunned Mikasa a quick comforting pat on her head before she gestured for the dog underneath the table to follow her. "Come on Heichou, let's go."

After she left the hall, Eren immediately launched into an indignant rant, "Hey, Mikasa! What's up with that?! Since when you got so cozy with that loony?"

Mikasa's eyes went wide for a moment before she smiled knowingly underneath the protection of her red scarf. She quickly darted her eyes away, "Nothing… It's just... Girls talk..."

"Jeez, that hurt!" Eren ignored her as he rubbed the back of his head to soothe the pain.

Mikasa remained quiet as she watched Armin try to calm him down.

Living for myself…? she thought sullenly. But how could she when all she ever wanted was to stay beside him?

What did 'living for yourself' mean anyway? Didn't it mean that you lived to achieve your heart's greatest desire? That you're in control of your own actions, your own will, and your own fate? Didn't it mean that you live the way you wanted and to die the way you wanted?

If that was the case, then Mikasa was sure that everything she had done was by her own will. She desired to protect Eren more than anything else in the world; to stay beside him, to never leave his side, to live for him. He was her heart's greatest desire in human form.

Mikasa found herself staring at the empty seat in front of her that Ida had occupied not too long ago, and she knew that it was exactly the same for her.

Living for herself, living for him… For people like them, there really was no difference, was there?

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

She sat by the bench of the training field. The morning sun basked down upon her soothingly. Trost was significantly hotter than the chilly Wall Sina and the day's warmth was a welcome relief from the cold winter air that had stubbornly hung around over the past week. Heichou ran freely around the empty training fields, barking as it chased after a butterfly, but Ida wasn't focused on her dog.

Instead, she was intently focused on the bracelet entwined around her slender fingers. She released a maddening breath as a wave of hopelessness overcame her. After that big show three days ago of telling Levi that she had gotten rid of the bracelet as a declaration that she had severed her ties with him, in the end, Ida still couldn't let it go.

How pathetic.

Just moments ago, she had given Mikasa some life-advice. After all, the best advice came from people that had walked the path you intend to walk. Seeing a much younger Mikasa walking the same path as her, as uncharacteristic as it was for her, Ida had thought that she should've said something for she knew of the pain and she could empathize with her. She knew innately that it was advice that it could have taken by herself, but enacting something was always so much harder than saying it.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to calm down, inhaling in the cool crisp air as she did so. She wondered why she never once took off the worn-down bracelet.

Ah, that's right, her conscience reminded her. It's because that's the only thing Levi ever gave to you, the only thing that he will ever give you — he said it himself, he could offer you nothing.

A despondent smile graced her lips as she played with the bracelet in her hands. A worn-out bracelet; that was all she had to remember their past relationship. Still, even as she came to terms with how pathetic she was for holding onto it and lying that she'd gotten rid of it, Ida wondered if she should bring it to a jeweler to have it patched up.

Perhaps it really is for the best, she thought miserably. This way... If I don't pursue him… At least he'll grant me this small mercy of staying by his side.

Her misery started to mark her face and she exhaled loudly again. It doesn't matter now, she assured herself inwardly. It'll get better because every time Levi had walked out on her, Ida was certain that she loved him less.

She had been through so much; betrayal and heartbreak were not uncommon to her. She had walked through hell and she didn't fall. Ida was too prideful to let something so insignificant such as love to destroy her; it had failed in the past and it will fail again this time.

Moving on was a gift to herself — a gift that only she could only grant. And it was this mantra that she repeated in her head as she forcibly entombed her memories of him in a thick wall of ice.

With each blow Levi had bequeathed her, her mind became clearer, more resolute... as if the growing physical distance between them had now become an emotional chasm. Ida steeled herself to only think of her future from here on out. A future she would mold, build, direct — she would be in command of her own body, mind, and soul.

She was a girl walking into her own destiny, a destiny that lay squarely in her own hands.

And yet, even as she knew it was torturous to stay beside him as she desperately attempted to forget him, Ida found that every vision of her future had him in it.

Levi was always there, as grey as ever in her visions of her future — sometimes it would be as simple as having a conversation with him in the mess hall, other times it was more chilling on the battlefield amidst a sea of bloodied corpses and roaring Titans. These visions never included a mundane ordinary life together and Ida knew that it was just her conscience telling her that it was impossible for people like them.

One thing was for certain, in every vision she had, Levi always had his uniform on, and he stood strong with hard muscular shoulders never slumping; the strongest and so catastrophically perfect...

...And she should've known that someone like him would never fall.

Indeed... Ida thought, clamping her eyes shut. Living for myself, living for him... There is no difference.

"Told ya," a suave voice suddenly echoed behind her. Ida jumped slightly at the sound of the voice, breaking out of her miserable thoughts. "You'll get nothing but heartbreak from men like him."

Seth Fischer came from behind her, putting his arms on the bench frame as he leaned forward. Ida saw that he was staring at the bracelet in her hands and she quickly hid it in her pocket, immediately gracing him with an icy glare.

"You seem to enjoy solitary confinement Fischer," Ida peeled her eyes away from him and she sat up straighter. "Care to visit and spend another night there again?"

"Whoa, chill, sweetheart," Seth chuckled light-heartedly. He took a seat next to her, lazily propping his arm against the bench frame. "Just here to talk."

Ida bristled. "If it's about another one of your stupid—"

"No, it's not." He cut her off. "I just wanna talk — believe it or not, I enjoy your company and you looked like you need someone to talk to."

Ida snorted sarcastically, folding her arms against her chest. "I wouldn't say I would enjoy the company of a child murderer, a liar, and a psychotic asshole."

Seth smirked playfully at her spiteful remarks, "You know, victimhood isn't your color."

"Neither is heroism yours." Ida spat back, emerald eyes ablaze, earning a laugh from him.

A strained silence followed his mocking laughs when it died out, but even after a long time, Seth remained wordless. Just as Ida was getting annoyed with his silence, he finally opened his lips to speak.

"I never got to truly apologize for what I did..." He began slowly as if it took him a lot of strength. "...Nor do I think that you should forgive me... But I just want to apologize for everything. I know you blame me, and I understand your hatred... But believe me, I never wanted to betray you as well… I had no other choice… I..."

His voice trailed off and she allowed the tense silence to percolate around them again.

Ida knew all this already, she knew that no matter what, she could not truly blame him especially when it was her — the harbinger of death — who was the root cause of all this tragedy. What was he to do then? Seth was an orphan and Jaron was his master who saved him, what else could he do other than serve him loyally? And in the end, he did all those repugnant things for her.

Ida felt her throat go dry and she couldn't find the strength to speak. Years had gone by with her hating him and he just walked up to her suddenly with an apology he must have mulled over for years.

"Can't we at least be cordial with one another?" Seth asked, his face expressionless as if it were chiseled out of marble. "And… I also want to apologize for what happened that day. I shouldn't even have asked you to leave. I know you're angry."

"Tch." She looked away, irritated by his presence, but more so by her emotions.

Forgiveness?

Ida could forgive and understand, but she was not so magnanimous as to forget — she would not allow her forgiveness to become foolishness. And just as she was beginning to feel herself soften, she forced herself to remember the deep-rooted resentment she had for him, the red visceral cloud that hung on every past memory of them.

No.

It was not acceptable to forgive him for anything, no matter how small it was — the fact remained that he had killed two children she cared about so that she could live — and Ida could not think of a fully appropriate way to atone for the blasphemy than to swear that she would never, ever forgive him.

"The world works in mysterious ways, one day or another, I'll pay for my sins," Seth said accompanied with a loud exhale. "...Ida, I'm not asking you to forgive me, I just want you to understand."

When Ida didn't respond again, he observed her with pressed lips, deciding to change the topic since she looked unwilling to discuss it. "...But in the meantime, … I'm the only one who knows the true you around here — so let's talk, what's bothering you?"

Ida rolled her eyes, but she humored him, silently grateful that he had not pressed the subject of forgiveness.

"Mhmm, let's see... I just found out my wretched family is a bunch of imbecile sinners who created the Titans, my mother just died for nothing again, the whole twisted world is crumbling down, humanity might not live to see another day, and I discovered that I descended from a freaky bloodline that not only gives me strength and power, but it seems that I can get these weird burst of knowledge that comes with nowhere accompanied by shitty headaches. So that's what's bothering me, Fischer — not that you can help with anything other than being a pesky fly."

Seth scoffed loudly at her sarcastic tone and dry amusement glinted in his eyes.

"Tsk. Well, I might not be able to help you with all…" He trailed off, gauging her reaction. "...But I might know something about the last bit."

"What?" she said, a deep frown embedded in her forehead.

He smirked triumphantly at her reaction, knowing that he had gotten her full attention.

"Jaron used to get a series of painful headaches you know, but he always seemed thrilled to get it — I thought he was a masochist or something," he answered, his expression of superficial satisfaction. "'The Will of Odina' is what he called it."

"Who is Odina?"

"Don't know," Seth replied lazily with a wry shrug. "Never deigned to ask."

"Tch," Ida grunted, displeased. "Just when I thought that you would be useful."

"Well, according to what you say..." Seth drawled, fabricating nonchalance. "I believe that's why he knows so much about Titans."

Her eyes rapidly bloomed at his statement. Why didn't she see the connection earlier? It made all sorts of sense, and she didn't know why she hadn't thought of this before. Elsie did say that Jaron had 'awakened' this mysterious power of theirs. The connection was so obvious, Ida couldn't believe she'd ever called herself brilliant.

If it was indeed as Seth had hypothesized, then perhaps the same applies to her too.

And if that was the case… She could harness this power. This knowledge… and further the cause of mankind. Information deficiency was the main reason for humanity's recent defeat, and it was information that the Survey Corps desperately needed now — information that could save lives. Ida made a mental note to discuss this with Erwin later.

"Do you know how to trigger it?" Ida inquired briskly. "This… Will of Odina?"

"If I'd known, I would've already told you." He shrugged wryly, earning a sharp glare from the silently seething redhead at his indifferent attitude. "Sadly, I never cared much for that lunatic Jaron and his antics."

"You never care for anything other than yourself," she retorted venomously.

"I care for you, does that count?"

"Spare me your flirting, Fischer," Ida told him critically, her agitation apparent. "I'm not in the mood for jest."

He arched a sardonic brow at the scowl that took over her face. "You never seem to be in a mood for anything nowadays if it isn't short, grumpy and wearing a stupid cravat."

A hateful expression played on her visage. "It's not like that."

"Says the love scorned woman." Seth countered with a mocking smile. "Do you want to know the secret in getting over someone?"

"What?" Ida demanded snappily.

He smirked handsomely. "You know what they say — the best way to get over someone is to get under someone."

Ida threw him a heated glare at that scandalous proposition. "Is this your pathetic way of trying to get me to sleep with you?"

"Maybe," Seth admitted, not at all abashed. "Why? Wanna take a trip down memory lane again—"

"I would rather fuck a Titan," Ida cut through his sentence. She ought to sock him in the face for proposing such a thing, but she thought it was wiser to be the mature one this time. There was no point getting angry, it would only amuse him. "And if you ever imply such a thing again, I won't be civil."

"How cold," Seth pouted, and he stood up, stretching his arms. "Get up, let's go."

Perplexity met her eyes before she peered up. "Where?"

"Out of this boring place, we can go to the candy shop, that'll cheer you up wouldn't it?" Seth suggested, looking spitefully relaxed even under her intimidating glare.

When Ida didn't bulge from her seat and gazed angrily in another direction — an action Seth was quite used to receiving now — he groaned.

"Oh, come on, Ida." Seth persisted. "Walking will do you some good. Everyone here is all about Titans — a boring bunch of lunatics. If I hear another word 'Titan' again, I'll probably start to lose my shit. It's bad enough I had spent all those years with that Titan-obsessed uncle of yours, the Survey Corps is far worse if you ask me. I don't know how you survive here."

Ida contemplated the idea for a while. Frankly, she didn't really want to be at the headquarters especially when she knew that Levi was somewhere here. But Seth's allegiance was a complicated issue that needed to be handled delicately; however, Ida did not need an interrogation to see that Seth was hellbent on being loyal to her — and she had to admit, ever since his release, Seth did nothing to warrant suspicion.

"You're not allowed out of the headquarters, you're still under investigation," she rejected the idea flatly, pursing her lips. "Did you forget that already?"

"Yes yes, spare me your superiority, Ida." Seth rolled his eyes mockingly. "I didn't know you were a stickler for rules. What's on your schedule today?"

"I am up to train the new Survey Corps recruits later this afternoon," she answered plainly, her countenance hard and apathetic.

"Perfect," Seth said enthusiastically. "We'll visit the candy shop and get back here before then. Come on, you need to get away from here for a while do you?"

His proposition was tempting, she had to admit. Ida wanted nothing more than to get out of here where she had to be on her toes for a grumpy Captain. She needed a breather, badly — that and some candy. Ida rationalized that since Seth was placed under her jurisdiction, it wouldn't hurt. Plus, in terms of combat skills, she could easily handle him if the need arises.

The real deal sealer though was the fact that Seth might have more information about this power of hers and Jaron Starke — and knowing him, Ida wouldn't think it was beneath him to purposefully exclude information from her just so she would talk to him and comply with his request.

"Tsk," Ida grumbled to herself, but she got off the bench. "Fine, it's not like I have anything to do anyway — but do not take two steps away from me. If you try to run, I'll hunt you down."

Seth smirked handsomely, looking dementedly satisfied. "Wouldn't think of being so far from you, dearest."

"And stop with that flirting or I'll sock that smirk off your face," Ida glared daggers him, growing incessantly irritated by his attempts to charm her. "I mean it."

"You're the boss, m'lady," Seth replied, shrugging noncommittally as he followed her.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Levi Ackerman watched the scene from Erwin's office window. His fingers curled tightly around the grates. It was just his luck that Erwin's view from his office provided a very scenic and clear view of the training grounds, and it was also by his shitty luck that he had to witness Ida having a pleasant conversation with that scarred face bastard before walking away with him.

Where the fuck is she going with him?

There was a growing discomfort in Levi's chest as he watched them together — a burning, painful ache that he couldn't forcibly dissipate by will no matter how much he tried. As Levi was still trying to piece together the fragments of this ridiculous puzzle that was his inner turmoil, he heard a sly chuckle erupt from behind him.

"If you glare any harder, the glass might break you know," the voice said evasively behind him, holding a twinkle of good-will and humor.

"Tch." Levi scoffed snidely at Commander Pixis' remark, turning around to meet the balding man who was peering curiously at him. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Pixis' cheeks were flushed as he took another long sip of his alcohol from his flask. He shook his head knowingly with a curious smirk in play, "Captain, I've lived way longer than you — I know a lovelorn man when I see one."

Levi clenched his jaw. Lovelorn? Hah, he supposed the alcohol had really messed with Pixis's brain. A dark scowl embedded itself on his countenance. His stare was rife with judgment, he was not amused.

"You can go to her if you like." Pixis offered with an amused smile, taking a seat by the couch. "I'm just here to give my report to Erwin. There's really no need for you to be here, Erwin would brief you later with the other Squad Leaders."

He frowned at his offer. If Levi didn't know better, he would've thought that the Pixis knew everything that had happened between Ida and him and that he knew precisely that he could not stand being around her for more than a few minutes without every buried part of his conscience being resurrected, and if he knew all this, then Pixis had a shitty sense of humor.

"Erwin will be here in a minute," he stated rigidly, ignoring his offer. He was growing rather uncomfortable with Pixis's scrutinizing eyes and he averted the topic sharply, "So what did those damned muckety mucks say? Did the people upstairs disagree?"

"It's up for further discussion but the sudden influx of recruits requesting for a branch transfer to the Survey Corps is rather good news for you, isn't it?" Pixis answered. "I'm predicting they will approve of the transfer."

"It is," Levi stated gravelly, his gray eyes darkening. "We need more men if we are going to retake Wall Maria."

"As for the other matter, I've looked into it as Erwin requested," Pixis told him, pausing for a swift drink from his flask before continuing. "According to the birth reports, there are no living Starkes alive, save Ida — she's the last remaining member of the Starke family."

Another theory of Erwin's squashed, Levi thought inwardly with a troubled frown.

According to Armin's statement, a red-haired woman was upon the quadrupedal Titan when it took Elsie Starke. Erwin had deduced that there might be another living Starke member seeing as red hair was a pretty uncommon trait, but perhaps the perceptive Erwin was overthinking it this time. Still, Levi understood that one can never be too uncareful, especially when they still don't know who their enemies are exactly.

"Which only means she is an important asset for humanity," said Levi frostily. "We still don't know what makes her bloodline so special as Elsie Starke had said. It would be best that she stays behind like Queen Historia in our upcoming expedition to retake Wall Maria. She's the last of her kind. Tell that to the people upstairs."

"Hmm… She doesn't seem like the type to hide behind Walls accompanied twenty-four-seven with Military Police guards though," Pixis replied, wrinkling his nose. "To be frank, I know it's not under my jurisdiction, but I feel Ida would be a much better asset on the battlefield."

"She's the last Starke," Levi reiterated unyieldingly. "She needs to remain safe, away from the battle. She needs to live. Humanity cannot afford to lose her."

Pixis raised his thin brow at his argument, pulling his flask away from his lips. He observed the prized soldier attentively.

"If I'm not mistaken, Captain..." Pixis paused midway as Levi shot a hideous glare at him. "...It seems to me that you're pressing this issue for more… Personal issues..."

Levi gnashed his teeth as a bout of irritation skimmed through his body, "I don't know what you're insinuating old man, but it's getting rather annoying."

"If you say so…" Pixis hummed not sounding the least bit convinced. "But tell me, is it true?"

"What?" He demanded snarkily, not bothering to hide his growing annoyance anymore.

The amused smile on Pixis' face only grew wider at his reaction. "...I heard some rumors about you and a very, very pretty redhead… Supposedly you're courting her."

"It was Yeager, wasn't it?" Levi spat hatefully, secretly wondering just how far the rumors had spread among the Military ranks. "Nosy gossiper, that stinking brat."

"You're not denying it," Pixis pointed out with a smirk.

"Tch." Levi scoffed nonchalantly, pausing to formulate an answer. "There's nothing going on, so there's nothing to deny."

A dry laugh issued from the Garrison Commander's lips. "Really? From the way you were glaring at the window, I would've almost suspected that Titans had appeared in Trost again... Who would've thought that same very, very pretty redhead was just outside the window… with another man. Jealousy doesn't look good on you, Captain."

"You're getting old, Pixis," Levi remarked edgily, a dark look flashing across his face. "You talk too damn much."

"So, they say…" Pixis took no offense to the obvious annoyance emitting from the shorter man. "Then allow this old man to give you some advice."

"Can I say no?" growled Levi indignantly.

"You can, but this nosy old man will still say it." Pixis countered smartly, giving him a look that said that he didn't mean any harm. "If you don't treasure what you have now when you regret it, you might just find her already in the arms of another man."

Levi scoffed in disbelief, crossing his arms as he leaned on the wall. "Tch. You make me sound like a lovesick fool."

"And you'll be continuing being that lovesick fool if you don't live in the present," retorted Pixis, shaking his head disapprovingly at his stubbornness.

He interlocked his hands and leaned forward, absorbing Levi's hard stoic visage. Levi might not know it but Pixis could see through his apathetic assemble; the underlying jealousy, the anger that he was right, and the annoyance that he was openly calling him out.

"I've seen it countless times over my years of service, Captain. Soldiers in love, afraid of what would happen if they took the plunge," he said critically after a stretch of contemplating silence.

"You've spent your life in the Garrison, not the Survey Corps. It's different here, far shitter." Levi replied with a sharp edge, silently wondering why he wasn't outright denying the nosy Commander insinuations.

"I understand… The mortality rate of the Survey Corps is what's stopping you," voiced Pixis with a sad wan smile. "I know what you're afraid of — I've witnessed it myself hundreds of times; a mother committing suicide after learning her only son had perished in the battle of Trost. A daughter orphaned after her father was trampled to death by the Female Titan at Wall Sina. A widow, grieving over her husband who died in battle… But there's more to life than duty... Honestly, Captain, can you honestly say that you won't regret it?"

Levi did not allow a single emotion to be present on his face as he listened. "...There's nothing to regret since there's nothing there in the beginning."

"Well… If those are your sentiments, I respect that." Pixis conceded with a loud sigh. "However, don't be shocked if you find that one day, she'll find happiness with someone else."

Silence flooded the room and Levi was thankful that Pixis didn't continue with his unnecessary drunken rambling.

He could never understand why Ida was tolerating that asshat around her, but whatever reason it was, it eluded his comprehension. And since striving to find the answer only led him feeling even more bitter, Levi mentally forced himself to drop the subject altogether.

However even as he forced himself repeatedly to not think about it, it seemed to have the opposite effect. His traitorous mind started mentally visualizing Ida and Seth together in his mind with smiles on their faces, and he decided that he hated the sight.

More than anything, he despised it.

The office doors swung open and Erwin Smith walked into the room, immediately picking up on the tension in the air. But before he could get a word in, Levi had peeled himself away from the wall and stormed his way towards the door.

"I'll leave you two to talk," he said, sounding very much annoyed and disturbed.

"Levi?" Erwin frowned at his mannerism, but the shorter man ignored him and stormed past him.

The blonde sighed, placing the stack of papers on his desk before addressing the other Commander in the room. "He seems to be in a far grumpier mood than usual…"

Pixis laughed heartily at his comment and Erwin could smell the alcohol from his breath. "You have your very pretty daughter to thank for that."

Erwin smiled softly at his long-time friend, "Heh, so you know about it too?"

"You would've to be a blind idiot to not see it, Erwin," Pixis remarked, shaking his head in disbelief that he would even ask that. "He looked as though he was gonna pounce at any man who goes three-feet near her. Possessive one, isn't he?"

Pixis took another swig of his flask and sighed, reminiscing on his youth. "...But he's a good man."

Erwin frowned at his statement, silently debating if Levi truly was a suitable work partner for his arrogant, impetuous and erratic daughter. "Stubborn. Violent. Unpredictable."

"And reliable, devoted, and responsible," Pixis countered with a carefree grin.

The blonde commander exhaled softly in defeat, taking a seat in front of him. "Yes, I suppose your right, Pixis."

He could not deny that Levi embodied all those traits as well, and furthermore, he could not deny that Levi had guided and supported her throughout her years in the Survey Corps.

"For a drunken old man who has seen better days, I can tell you this Erwin," Pixis pointed his flask to his friend whose expression was as stoic and calm as always. "Nothing is a better motivation for a man than jealousy."

Erwin eyed at him in disbelief. "Levi? Jealous?" He repeated incredulously. "Please, he has commendable self-control."

"You're still wet around the ears, Erwin." Pixis deadlocked his eyes with him, a look of knowing etching itself on his wrinkled features. "Come on, bet with me for old times' sake."

Erwin thought through it carefully. Truthfully, he didn't know if Levi sincerely loves Ida or if it was something less like an attachment or an obsession. He understood he cared for her and he was informed of the rumors swirling in the legion about them. But love? It was a strong word, but he couldn't deny that there was a possibility.

He had worked with Levi Ackerman for years and Erwin had never seen the man change so much as he did after he met Ida. What about Ida then? Did she love him? Erwin didn't think it was wise to openly ask her about it as well. However, his intuition informed him that there was something deeper going on between the pair — and his intuitions were hardly wrong.

If Pixis was right though — and Levi truly was jealous of the men around Ida, then he could only silently hope that he wouldn't be billed any enormous receipt for damages should Levi choose to go rampage in the headquarters. He shuddered inwardly at that thought — a jealous Levi was the last thing he wanted to see.

Erwin pressed his lips together, looking at Pixis who still had a cheesy drunken grin on his lips. "...Actually, I think I'll pass."

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

They made an odd pairing as they sat in pure silence, comfortably ensconced in the large carriage provided for their journey to town. It was safe to say that the atmosphere in the carriage was decidedly unpleasant. Ida leaned her head on the carriage window, staring out listlessly.

She was keenly aware of how Seth Fischer was observing her intently from the opposite seat, but she paid it no mind.

"Never thought I'd see the day we would walk among the towns so casually like this." Seth finally broke the silence and Ida threw a definitive glance at his direction. He smirked. "Two incorrigible criminals from the Underground…"

Ida scoffed softly, watching the lush greenery slowly turn into brick houses as they approach the central town of Trost. "Believe me, I never dreamt that this shitty day would come either."

"So, you do dream about me," came his suave reply with a cocky lift of a brow.

"On the unfortunate nights that I do…" said Ida wryly, shutting her eyes. "It always ends with me killing you."

"How tragic," Seth drawled sarcastically. "A nightmare."

"A pleasant dream." Ida corrected, her indignant eyes snagging on the smirk that never seemed to leave his handsome face.

She exhaled, deciding that she didn't want to continue with their snarky comments. Ida adjusted her posture and leaned back on the cushioned seats, pinning the man in front of her down with firm eyes. "So, tell me… about this Will of Odina…. What else do you know?"

The gravity in Ida's tone drew Seth's gaze to hers. "Is this why you accepted my proposition of leaving the headquarters? You just want more information from me."

"Why do you think you're still alive?" Ida countered, shrugging. "You need to be of some other use than succumbing to your fate as Titan feed."

With a weary sigh, Seth crossed his arms and glanced up through lidded eyes, leveling a serious gaze in Ida's direction. "You know, it's been bugging me lately… The first night I was in custody I was prepared for you to come charging into my cell with your swords brandished, ready to take my life… Days passed, and you never did. Instead, you even accepted my request to join the Survey Corps. Odd for someone who threatens to kill me every time she sees me, don't you think?"

"You sound suicidal, Fischer," she commented frostily. "Or did you forget about my warning already?"

He smirked handsomely. "You say that you're a monster, Ida, but I know you better than that."

Her green eyes narrowed, giving him a slow smirk that spelled nothing but trouble. "Oh, you do?"

"You can't kill me." He stated, shaking his head at her unctuous tone. "Because… if you were in my position, you would've done the very same thing. We're the same type of people you see — selfish, incorrigible, the type that would do anything and absolutely everything to protect those we hold dear."

Ida pressed her lips together and looked away. She knew what he was doing; he was manipulating her emotions as he always did. And yet, even as she tried to deny that she was not someone like that detestable Seth Fischer, it sounded half-hearted even to her.

'The moral foundations of a criminal are to have none' Seth had always said in the past whenever she was beginning to regret her choices of killing. 'It's either them or us'

And all the past evidence seemed to point out that she'd make an excellent criminal.

The silence reigned for a while longer before Seth broke it again with a contrite statement. "Ida, do know that I take no pleasure in being right, especially when I've been wrong about many other issues."

"And you say that I'm not a monster." Ida scoffed, showing just how laughable that statement was to her. "Contradiction at its finest, it seems."

She snapped her glare back to him, straightening her posture. "Tell me too, Fischer. I never understood, why do you want to keep me alive so badly? Even now… Even when you know I will never return a single ounce of your feelings; you still follow me. Why?"

"Because I owe you something, and it's a debt that can never be paid," Seth answered. "...It's the same for you, isn't it? The only reason why I'm alive is that you feel that you owe me for saving your life."

"My pitiful life exchanged for two young innocent souls," she intoned with a dark grimace. "I never asked to live."

"Yes, the one thing no amount of medicine can cure is the will to die," Seth said, his contrition apparent in the squeeze of his hand. "But Ida, know this. It hurt me too. It agonized me for years... haunted me, more than anything… To know that I robbed them of their future. Whether you want to believe it or not, I cared for them…"

"You cared for them?" Ida repeated incredulously. "But it was not enough, wasn't it? Not enough for you to spare them."

"It was all that I could offer..." Seth stated, his hazel eyes darkening. "...The rest of my heart was already given to you."

She held her tongue as she and Seth merely glared at each other. She knew she could've been the bigger person. She knew that Seth truly did prioritize her above anything else, and in some way, she should've been thankful. But being the bigger person was so, so hard… especially when Ida was the way she was, always failing to see the overall picture.

All she could think about was the blood of the two children she loved on his hands.

A nerve pulsed in her temple, but her impertinent smirk never wavered despite the steel edge of her jaw. "...Your heart isn't too big I see."

"You owe it to me to live, Ida." He stated firmly with a hardened edge. "I did not go through all of that misery — I did not go through staining their blood on my hands — for you to recklessly throw away your life."

Ida could feel her anger swelling in her chest and her fingers curled shut in a desperate attempt to retain her maturity. "You never cease to exceed my expectations, Fischer. What you just said is revolting, even for such a despicably selfish man such as yourself."

A knot dipped in his throat and Ida laughed humourlessly.

"Just because you did something for me once, you think you have control over my life; whether I live or die. That I owe you this. It's an obsession, isn't it? Because you're trying to justify it in your heart and soul… you're trying to justify your repulsive actions. How laughable. And you say you love me. But you do not know what love is..."

"I'm also trying to make Marcel and Lucas sacrifice meaningful." Seth snapped with slight underlying anger. "They told me to do it, you know. To kill them. They wanted you to live—"

"Stop." Ida cut through his sentence admonishingly. "Do not hold what they wanted against me. Do not go there."

She clamped her eyes shut to calm her anger and clear her destructive thoughts. Ida didn't want to listen any longer — what was the point of knowing all of this now? She'll only torture herself more. She knew that the cunning Seth only brought the kids up in the conversation to tug on her heartstrings, and Ida would not allow him to manipulate her.

"This is the debt you owe me and them; you need to live…." Seth continued his onslaught after a brief pause. He sighed wearily when she didn't reply, slight regret flooding his hazel eyes. "Ida… I only… want to protect you. And I will follow you, whichever path you choose…"

"You can protect me by telling me anything you know about this fucking Will of Odina." Ida snapped, refocusing the conversation. "Don't make me regret keeping you alive, Fischer."

Seth stared at her uneasily. Whether it's because he feared another violent outburst from her or that he was remorseful, Ida didn't know. Not that she cared really, all she wanted was information on Jaron Starke.

It was the only reason that she wasn't reaching for his neck.

"Jaron kept his secrets well-hidden. He was always too paranoid for his own good." Seth explained. "However, I do know that this trait is only available to an awakened Starke member. Through something called the 'paths', it connects you to every past ancestor who had awakened, and you'll be able to not only tap into their memories but also gain their battle experience."

Ida grit her teeth this revelation. "If you're lying—"

"I'm not." Seth interrupted. "Elsie Starke told me this herself."

All Ida could do was stare at him and allow the silence to stretch over him and torture him with its overbearing presence. Seth knew what she was doing, she was carefully discerning his expression for any traces of lies and he felt as though he had been shot through his chest. Ida didn't trust him.

But, how could she?

After a while, Ida breathed out heavily and exercised her jaw. She shut her eyes for a moment as if to calm herself before carefully asking, "...You talked to her?"

It was obvious to Seth that her mother was a subject that Ida rather not want to talk about.

"I was cordial with her during the past few years, believe it or not." Seth smiled sadly. "I visited her sometimes."

Ida looked back out the carriage window and silence flooded the carriage again before she finally parted her lips to speak. "...What was she like?"

"Huh?"

"Elsie, what was she like?" she reiterated monotonously.

"Kind," Seth answered, his tone despondent. "...But I'm sure you know that already."

She chuckled humourlessly, a twisted smile on her lips. "No… I never knew her, not ever. Otherwise, I'd had known what she had gone through; her sufferings, or the secret that she had kept all those years about her Titan shifting abilities, the history of my wretched family. The woman who raised me, loved me and fed me, was not my mother... She was nothing but a hollow doll living her life in pretense for my sake."

Seth looked affronted and it looked like he was thinking about the appropriate words to say when the carriage stopped.

"Ma'am, we have arrived." A voice called from outside the carriage.

"Let's go, I need to be back in a few hours," Ida said, her countenance indescribable. She made a movement to carriage doors and stopped midway, adding, "Meanwhile while we are here... Dig deep in that shitty head of yours — if there's anything else you know, it's best you say it."

A debt huh? Ida thought bitterly as she left the carriage, careful to not display anything on her countenance that could show the man trailing her that she was truly affected by their conversation. She was beginning to get tired of the men in her life that wanted to control her. First, it was Levi who told her to leave the Survey Corps, next it was Seth, who told her that she owed it to him to live.

I'll see that it's paid soon, Seth.

My life is mine to live and mine to command. I'm in control of my life.

And no one — not you or even Levi — can change that.

I'll live the way I want to, and die the way I want to.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Armed with a couple of candies in her pockets, Ida eyed sharply the line of new recruits who stood rigidly in front of her. Thanks to the increase in public approval in the Survey Corps, there was an influx of requests for branch transfers among the Military lately. The batch before her were seasoned soldiers, but to Ida, they were no more than new trainee recruits — they didn't know true hell yet.

"Before we begin, I'd just like to say that things work far differently here compared to the Garrison or the Military Police," she stated rigidly with a loud voice that commanded attention. "Here, we follow the chain of the command strictly — if you're asked to die for the greater good for humanity, you must die, no questions asked. Is that understood?"

"Yes, ma'am!" The soldiers saluted in a show of their determination.

Ida perceptively noted the tension among the recruits — their fears and anxiety palpable and stifling despite the strong front they were putting. She couldn't help but feel disturbed. It was the reason why she didn't like training new recruits. How could she when she knew that most of them wouldn't be alive soon when they commenced the operation to retake Wall Maria?

But while she was a true cynic, Ida was truly compassionate at heart. The soldiers in front of her were people with families, with feelings, with emotions, and this left her feeling wrecked internally. She steeled herself before she allowed her guilt to overtake her.

"I understand…" Ida said rather softly, but her next sentence commanded a strong presence. "That many of you are scared. But the fact that you were willing to join the Survey Corps proved your will and for that I commend you! The enemies out there are not merciful, but for our children, our families, for the people we love — we must fight!"

Hanji Zoe watched Ida's inspiring speech from the side-lines with a forlorn expression. She had been a silent spectator to Ida's previous training sessions in the past and she couldn't help but observe just how different she was compared to the past.

Back then Ida conducted lessons unwillingly as an obligation, now she was doing it willingly with a sense of duty.

"...She's beginning to talk like Erwin, isn't she?" Hanji commented softly to Mobilt beside her, there was a slight solemnness in her tone and Mobilt completely understood why.

Mobilt pressed his lips together and bobbed his head. "...She is his daughter after all."

Hanji nodded in agreement. The pair watched as Ida continued with her training session. Ida had started explaining the system of the Survey Corps to them. Then she explained that she wanted to begin a training session with the basics of getting re-familiarised with their gears first — it would be a good refresher lesson, especially for those Military Police soldiers who were more accustomed to their rifles than gears.

Ida was loudly calling for a recruit to bring her gears to her when Hanji heard a chilling voice stalking behind her.

"Where's the damned brat?"

Hanji jumped, startled. She spun around frantically, facing the shorter man. "L — Levi! Don't sneak up on me like that!"

Levi did not respond to her. She did a double-take at his dark expression, wondering what he was pissed about, but she thought it was wiser not to ask.

"Well, if you can't see already, she's conducting lessons now," Hanji informed him, pointing to the field where Ida was. She tilted her head, confused. "Is it urgent?"

Again, the Captain did not reply, instead, he immediately zoomed in on redhead on the field. He watched as Ida shrugged off her jacket and placed it on the ground. Clad in a tight black tank top and her military pants, Ida had set to work on equipping her 3DMG gears in front of them, demonstrating to them that every Survey Corps scout had to be able to equip their gears in a record timing.

Frowning, he analyzed through narrowed eyes the group of soldiers who were crowded around her, watching in utter distaste as the men eyed on her figure. It wasn't before long when a blonde male stepped forward to ask her a question and Ida said something with a smile, earning the laughter of the soldiers around her.

What the hell was so funny? Levi silently wished that they spoke loud enough for him to hear their conversation. He felt his fingers curling into tight fists and before he knew it, he felt the floodgates open as a bolt of uncontrollable anger overcame him.

"Ida!" He shouted venomously across the field, earning a shocked stare from everyone present at the acidity found in his tone. He could feel the silence and confused stares rest upon him.

The redhead swirled around quickly, her expression a mixture of incredulity and confusion. Her ears weren't playing her right? Why was Levi calling her? Didn't they agree that they would avoid each other's presence unless it was for official matters?

Crap, she cursed inwardly.

Ida could recognize that murderous expression anywhere, he was pissed. Seriously pissed.

"H — Hey, Levi, you okay?" Hanji asked nervously, sensing that something was off with him. But Levi made no move to acknowledge her, too fixated on glaring at the redhead across the field.

She watched in confusion as he gestured with his finger for Ida to get over here.

Hanji quickly gave him a once-over, absorbing the murderous aura he was emitting, then she looked at the oblivious redhead with the new recruits. Realization struck her and she couldn't help but emit a snicker as she nudged her trusty assistant by the side by his ribs.

"Pfft, this is going to be hilarious."

Mobilt quirked a puzzling brow. "Squad leader?"

"Just watch," Hanji told him quickly, unable to hide her fanatical grin that seemed too big for her face.

Ida broke out of her stunned reverie and calmly mouthed a few words to the new recruits, undid her half-secured 3DMG gear before she stumped her way across the field to face-off her infuriated Captain.

"Yes?" Ida asked lifelessly. Her confusion was apparent despite her emotionless features. "I'm actually busy now, is it important, sir? Did Erwin call for me?"

Levi's visage twisted into a grimace at her cold formal treatment — he knew that after what happened between them, he should've expected her coldness. However, he was too angry at that moment to even think straight.

A nerve throbbed in his forehead. "Where the fuck did you go this morning?"

"I went to town," Ida told him simply, looking bewildered at his sudden willingness to talk to her and at his sudden questions that sounded more like an interrogation than anything else.

"With Seth Fischer." Levi pointed out through gritted teeth, hissing. "That scumbag is forbidden from leaving the headquarters."

She gaped at him in disbelief, her eyebrows furrowing. Was this what he was angry about? Honestly, from the urgency and anger present in his call Ida had thought something serious had happened.

"I was with him the entire time and he is under my jurisdiction," she explained in a bored tone. "We got back in one piece — nothing of note happened if that's what you're asking, sir."

"Our jurisdiction." Levi reminded her derisively, seething in silence at her indifference. "From now on, you're forbidden from going near him seeing as you can't handle a simple fucking task."

At his critical statement, Ida was beginning to feel a small semblance of her previous irate personality trickle back in as her lifeless eyes slowly morph into hard disdain. She was trying to be civilly formal with him, but Levi was making this so much harder for her.

"I'm responsible for him," Ida argued with equal strength. "Leave me alone, go bother someone else."

"It's an order, Ida Starke."

Ida's eyes flashed in vivid defiance. "And you don't control me, Levi Ackerman," she snapped. "If you have a problem, we can bring this up to Erwin later. For now, piss off, I'm busy training the new recruits."

"You call that a pathetic excuse of a gathering training?" Levi sarcastically jabbed back. He trailed his glare on her attire, his face contorting in a sign of irritation and anger. "And what the hell is up with your outfit? This isn't your damned playground Starke, wear your shitty uniform."

Ida looked stricken, while she knew that Levi was strict with decorum, cleanliness, and attire, but this? This was going overboard! She looked completely fine! Her mouth was slightly ajar in disbelief as her eyes connected with his with questionable emotion.

She thought wildly for the right words to express her incredulity. She could not hold it back — her annoyance, her irate personality that clamored to break free of her attempted maturity. Levi was being too unreasonable!

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Ida demanded hotly, dropping the courtesies. "There's nothing wrong with my attire!"

Levi stared into space with piercing hate-filled eyes as if to avoid her question. Then after a moment of contemplation, he moved his gaze to meet hers with an inexplicable look of frustration. Ida could tell he was growing increasingly annoyed with her sidestepping.

He crossed his arms with a supercilious air. "Tch. Just wear your shitty uniform jacket. I won't have you going around looking like a piss-poor brat."

"I was just showing the new recruits—"

"That's a fucking order, brat!" Levi broke off her explanation angrily.

"And you can piss off, midget!" Ida screeched back defiantly, spinning herself around to end the argument.

Just when Ida thought she could have another peaceful day, here Levi was trying to pick a stupid fight with her!

What's up with the stupid midget today?! She dreadfully wondered if someone pissed him off earlier today and he had come to take out his frustrations on her.

Though frankly, the most appalling part of this entire argument was the fact that Levi was willing to initiate a conversation with her.

Feeling riled up, Ida was about to storm away in a fit of anger back to her new recruits who were waiting for her, but then Levi grabbed onto her wrist, sensing her noncompliance.

Ida glared venomous daggers at him, "Let me go."

But Levi said nothing, his vice-like grip tightening. He glowered back with matching intensity. Ida tried to pull her hand away, but he was simply too strong — it was times like this that she cursed his Ackerman genes.

"I said let me go!" She struggled defiantly, trying to get out of his grasp.

In a blinding rage, Ida tried futilely to pry his grip off her wrist with her free hand. When it became clear to her that she couldn't get out of his hold on her, she demanded, "Are you going to let go or not?"

"Not till you heed fucking my orders, you damned shitty brat," Levi growled through gritted teeth.

Within seconds, her anger was hitting her like a backup reserve and before she could think it through, Ida impulsively moved her hand he was holding to on to her mouth and bit down hard on his hand responsible for keeping her prisoner.

Take that you damned scumbag!

"What the fuc—!" His words collapsed in his throat and Levi howled in pain, instinctually triggering the release of his vice-like grip on her hand. He took a few steps back, cradling his assaulted hand that Ida had sunk her teeth into.

Desperate to take advantage of his moment of weakness, Ida quickly supplemented the attack by lifting her leg and stomped on his boot mercilessly.

Thump!

"Bloody hell, woman!" Levi roared, immediately crouching down in pain.

Turning her nose indignantly, Ida had to admit that she was enjoying every bit of his misery as she calmly soaked up his death glare. Levi deserved it and so much more. Proud of her assault, she huffed her chest and turned her heel around snappily. She was just about to triumphantly march back to her recruits when she felt a strong calloused hand hold her back again.

"You'll fucking pay for that, you damned brat."

Fuck.

She was beginning to regret not kneeing his family jewels and Ida just about to turn around and vanquish her regret with a final attack that she knew would force him to the ground and keep him there when...

"What is your problem— AAHHH!"

It happened so fast. She was turning around, about to launch an attack that would've Levi doubling over in surrender when she felt a strong pair of arms snaking around her figure. Before she even had time to blink, Levi had already hoisted her up with a single movement that she didn't see coming and propped her on his shoulder with ease as though she was nothing more than a sack of potatoes.

Ida flushed in embarrassment, kicking and screaming and instantly losing all sense of dignity. "W — WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! PUT ME DOWN!"

"SHUT UP!"

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Hanji burst out into a series of uncontrollable laughter, her loud hilarious laughs drowning out Ida's obnoxious screeches as Levi literally carried her into the headquarters building.

Mobilt was stunned at the sudden turn of events. "S — Squad leader… What… just happened?"

Hanji wiped the tears that had accumulated in her eyes.

"What happened Mobilt, is that I think you have to take over the training session," she told him with a wide cat-like grin, pointing at the group of baffled recruits who had watched the scene unfold with open mouths. "Good luck!"

"H — Huh?" Mobilt whispered instinctively, stunned. "Wait… What?!"

Hanji ignored his state of stupor, happily skipping into the headquarters with a fanatical gleam in her eyes. Oh no, he knew that look — she was up to no good.

"Wait! Squad leader! Where are you going?!" Mobilt cried out after breaking out of his reverie, but Hanji had already slipped through the main entrance of the headquarters building.

He hissed out his collected frustration and threw a quick glance at the new recruits. With a resolute miserable sigh, he guessed he should clean up this mess first.

Inside the headquarters, Pixis had just concluded his meeting with Erwin and the blonde had insisted on escorting him out. They were engaged in small conversation before a screeching wail flooded into hallways.

"Levi what the fuck?! Put me— AHH! THAT HURT, YOU IDIOT!"

Pixis paused in his steps upon hearing the screams. He blinked in surprise and then looked curiously at the composed commander beside him. Erwin shrugged wryly, his expression saying that it was just another normal day in the Survey Corps before continuing with his walk.

"Don't underestimate an old man's wisdom, wouldn't you say?" Pixis chuckled heartily, following the other commander. "What did I tell you? He was jealous, indeed."

Erwin Smith grimaced; he didn't know how he should feel about this. One thing was for certain, there was something going on between the pair and Erwin was almost certain now that the two had feelings for each other.

Pixis clasped his hand on his shoulder and chuckled. "I think those two are quite suitable for each other, don't worry too much about it."

"They are partners before they are anything," Erwin reminded him flatly. "It is worrying, should things turn sour between the both of them — I don't know if they are able to put aside their hatred for each other and work together effectively."

"Don't let it bother you, they are more mature and devoted to the legion than you think," Pixis replied, continuing his walk to the exit.

Despite Pixi's assurance, Erwin was not convinced, and he could feel a headache threatening to erupt. However, before he could think further of it, Pixis opened his lips and directed the conversation elsewhere.

"By the way, Erwin, Anka will be here tomorrow to deliver a package to you."

Erwin raised a curious brow, intrigued. "What is it?"

"I don't know what 'it' is," Pixis replied honestly and the conversation took a serious turn as a dark shadow nestled in his eyes. "We found it during the excavation of Jaron Starke lab."

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

She wanted to die.

All Ida wanted to do was crawl into a Titan's stomach and hide from everyone.

Halfway through her incessant screaming and insistence to put down, Ida had realized that her cries were drawing the attention from every scout in the headquarters. Their incredulous stares and curious gasps were enough for her to stop squirming, clamp her mouth shut and instead opted to cover her face in livid embarrassment as she literally hung across Levi's shoulders.

Let me die! Ida screamed in her head, beyond mortified. So much for inspiring confidence among the new recruits — my reputation has just gone to shit! This is beyond embarrassing! Far more embarrassing when I rammed into that stupid tree months ago while using my gears!

"AH!" Ida cried out in shock as Levi unceremoniously threw her off her shoulders and her body landed on something soft. She finally opened her eyes, observing that she was at one of the cells in the stockades underneath the headquarters.

"Why the hell am I here for?" Ida demanded angrily, sitting up on the bed. Her cheeks were still flushed.

"Solitary confinement for insubordination," Levi answered simply with the same blasé attitude he always had.

Disbelief skipped through her and every nerve in her body froze — solitary confinement? She knew that this was one of the methods of punishment for disobedient soldiers in the Survey Corps, but Levi had never once enforced this on her, not even when she had put salt in his tea once as a spiteful prank!

"S — Seriously?" Ida gaped at him, stunned. "You can't do that!"

Levi's glare hardened vehemently, "Yes I can."

"I won't accept this; I did nothing wrong!" Ida retorted ferociously. Anger emanated from every word she uttered.

He quirked a challenging brow. "You assaulted your superior officer."

"You laid your hands on me first!" Ida screeched. "I was in the middle of training the new recruits — and you decided to hold me back, sir. No, I won't accept this! If you insist on locking me here, I'll fight you to get out. Explain to me why you got so angry when I didn't do anything wrong in the first place!"

He frowned deeply at the insistence of her innocence. Truly if Levi was being honest, Ida truly did nothing wrong that warranted a trip to the stockades. Sure, she might have bitten him and went against his direct orders, but this was Ida Starke — if he had truly wanted to put her in her place and enforce respect, he would've done it ages ago.

So, what was the difference now?

That stinking scumbag is the difference, his conscience reminded him. He and all of those shitty brats who were getting too close with her, eyeing on her, and laughing with her—

He felt himself pause in his contemplation as a realization struck him — was he jealous?

"Well?" Ida's insistent voice broke him out of his thoughts. His gaze trailed to her to see that she looked very upset. She frowned at his silence. "Hey! Are you listening to me?! This is an abuse of power, I did nothing—"

"If I say you did something wrong, then you did." Levi insisted stubbornly in a firm voice.

He couldn't possibly say that he was jealous, could he? Levi would rather lose an arm and a leg to a Titan than ever admit something like that.

The truth was, seeing her being so near to Seth and the other male recruits had invoked every speck of possessiveness he did not know he had deep within him. All he could feel was an uncomfortable feeling bubbling in his stomach and a sudden instinctual need to lock her up somewhere where no one else could see her.

At this point, Ida had settled on glaring hatefully at him now — but all Levi could focus on was her features.

Beauty and menace.

Doll-like green eyes framed with thick lashes, a face that would certainly turn heads of every new hot-blooded soldier within the legion, and her smile — if she deigned to smile — was so beautiful that Levi was sure that it could stop everyone in the room. Her figure, slender and muscular, taut from battles she had fought. Ida was ravishing, both in her menace and her beauty.

She got off the bed she was sitting on, her eyes still ablaze and approached him with a confrontational attitude.

"Listen you damned irksome shortie, if you think that I would just sit here and—"

Ida stopped midway her belligerent rant when the doors of the cells suddenly slammed shut. That instance, the two of them snapped their gazes to the cell door — they were too engrossed in each other and had failed to notice that they were not alone.

The sounds of keys clinking flowed through the cell.

Oh, hell no! Not again!

"Hanji! Wait! What do you think you're doing!"

Ida sprinted to the cell door in a panic, but it was too late, Hanji had already backed away from the metal grates and was holding the key in her hand while she grinned victoriously.

Levi stormed to the cell doors, pushing a stunned Ida away and he violently tugged on the gates. Alas, even with his strength, it was futile — they were locked in.

He worked the muscles in his jaw and snarled, "Hanji… What the fuck do you think you're doing locking me in this filthy cell?"

"Revenge!" Hanji stated simply with a mischievous smile that Ida wanted to smack off her face. "Revenge for making me go back and forth to get you both to attend the stupid ball! That, and because you two need to talk things out!"

Ida's fingers curled around the metal grates, glaring at the unfazed Titan Scientist who didn't even flinch under Levi's murderous expression. "Hanji if you don't let us out — so help me god, I'll burn every single one of your Titan research notes."

"You wouldn't do that!" Hanji grinned even harder at her empty threat. Her cheerful nature contrasted starkly with the pairs' murderous one. "It's too important for humanity!"

"Let me out, shitty four-eyes," Levi growled but Hanji was unyielding even at the tone of his icy voice. "I mean it."

"You two are frighteningly calm for two people locked unwillingly in a cell," Hanji commented idly, tapping the key in her hands on her cheeks in a ponder, fabricating coyness.

"Could it be…" Her grin grew even wider — too wide for her face as she paused. "...You two actually want to be trapped together?"

At her mocking statement, Ida lunged her hands out of the cell, trying to snatch the key from Hanji, but the Squad Leader had already backed away.

"Let me out!" she cried. "Or I will feed you to the damned Titans you love so much!"

Levi started to thrash at the cell door, trying to break it down. When he realized it was futile, he too began to issue threats, "I swear shitty-four eyes, I'll skin Mobilt alive in front of you."

"Hey!" Hanji puffed her cheeks, throwing an accusatory glare his way. "Don't take it out on him! I can't live without him!"

She dangled the key tauntingly in front of the pair who were shooting daggers out of their eyes, careful to not get too close. The message in their glare was clear: they were out for blood the moment they were released.

Laughing, she tossed the key up to the air and caught it back with ease. "You two enjoy some sweeeeeeet time alone tonight! I'll get Mobilt to fetch you tomorrow!"

Hanji waved goodbye to both languidly, turning away just as Levi started to thrash harder on the cell doors, hellbent on getting out of there.

"You will pay for this, you darned four-eyes! I swear!" Ida screeched through the filter of the cell metal grates, feeling it tremble at Levi's mighty strength as he attempted to break it down. "I'll kill you the first chance I get!"

Hanji simply ignored Ida's threats and happily skipped through the stockades, humming to herself. On cue, Mobilt ran to her the moment she resurfaced at the headquarters' ground floor, panting and sweating as though he had been running around.

"S — Squad leader! Where did you go?!"

She threw the key she was holding on to her trusty assistant who caught it. Mobilt observed the key in his hands in confusion. "What is this?"

"I locked them up!" Hanji declared easily with a toothy grin, proud of her quick work. "Keep the key safe for me."

Mobilt face-palmed, knowing who she was referring to. Great, more work for him to clean up... as if he didn't have his hands full.

"...You're acting too reckless, Squad Leader." He sighed. "They'll be seriously pissed the moment they get out."

"I know, I know." Hanji waved him away nonchalantly. "But those two are too pitiful. Even I can't help but want to see them happy."

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

This was the second time she was locked in with him.

How did this happen again? Ida thought with spiteful bitterness, a sense of Deja Vu overwhelming her.

She recalled the time in the past when Hanji and the rest of the brats had locked them in a closet as a childish prank. And just like that time, Ida couldn't wait to get out of here and give the ringleader a piece of her mind.

She sat by the wall of the cell on the ground, huddling her legs to her chest in a solemn defeat. Armin had come by earlier with their dinner on Hanji's orders, and awhile Ida and Levi had terrorized the poor boy into releasing them, the blonde was helpless.

"I — I don't have the key!" Armin had squeaked nervously, winching from the severity of their glares. "S — Sorry! I'm sorry! But I really don't have it!"

At that meek apology, Armin quickly slid the plate of dinner through the small opening of the cell and ran as fast as he could to Mikasa in fear for his safety. It was at that point that Ida decided she wanted to wither away in embarrassment at their unfortunate predicament, traumatized by the turns of events.

Both Levi and Ida had sent a good number of recruits to solitary confinement in the past — but never in her life would she expect both to them be trapped here!

She was beyond mortified that Armin knew about their situation. How embarrassing!

In the dark cell, Ida busied her mind for different malicious ways to make Hanji's life a living hell. Burning her Titans dolls, breaking her spectacles, reminding her of her precious Sawney and Bean to send her into a fit of hysterical tears — oh yes, Ida wanted nothing more than to throttle her.

But not even the malevolent mental image of her fingers curled around Hanji's neck as she chokes the life out of her could dissipate the uncomfortable feelings she was currently experiencing.

Ida was keenly aware that her eyes were trailing towards silent Levi who sat on the bed. He was leaning on the wall with his arms crossed and his eyes were closed.

She wondered if Levi felt the same disorientated emotions that she was feeling. And if that were the case, none of it showed in his expression or actions. His face appeared completely neutral, as it often did. She sighed audibly. For the past few hours, she had been jabbing with him accusatory venomous glares, hoping to perforate a few holes into him, but the Captain was indifferent as ever.

And so, they both sat at the opposite side of the cells in defeat about their unfortunate predicament — he on the bed, and her on the floor — and they both made no move to talk to each other.

Well fuck, she cursed inwardly.

This was the last thing she wanted — to be in a room with him, trapped awhile she suffocated in the palpable awkward tension. It was certainly the last thing Levi wanted as well, she supposed. Days had gone by perfectly without incident, in fact, they hardly even see each other.

Her body ached so badly from sitting on the hard surface of the floor too long and the temperature was getting colder as night came. She shuddered, rubbing her arms to generate heat. How she wished she had her jacket with her. Ida was growing frustrated as the hours tickled by — both at the situation and the fact that Levi looked determined to keep his silence till morning.

Damn this. I want to go back to my room.

Suddenly, she felt a piece of fabric thrown at her and her vision blacked out. Ida peeled the fabric off her face only to see that it was a blanket. Surprised, she looked at Levi who was now scowling.

"Stop with your piss-poor shivering," Levi spat coolly, looking highly unamused. She heard him grumbled underneath his breath next. "As if this day could get any shitter…"

"T — Thanks…" Ida said quietly, wrapping the only blanket available around her.

She pressed her lips together as she observed him sneakily, only to see that he had gone back to his usual position; arms crossed, eyes closed, leaning his back on the wall as he sat on the bed.

Truly, he really is the man of stone...

She bit her bottom lip in an urgent attempt to hold back her words. She didn't know if she could hold her silence any longer. Ida was becoming increasingly bothered by her thoughts and unsettled emotions. She felt like she was going insane from this infinite silence.

"If you have something to say, spit it out," she heard him say coldly. "You're bothering my rest."

She did not look at him, her anxiousness obvious. "I — It's nothing, sir."

Levi took a moment to consider her form. Ida acted so differently just now but he figured it her agitation that caused that reaction. Now hours later after she had time to cool off, she was back to the cold formal attitude, and Levi realized how much he hated it when she treated him that way.

But now that he was analyzing her, he also realized that there was something underneath that formal attitude. The nervous squeeze in her hand, how she wouldn't even look him in the eye when talking to him, how she cowered in the corner as far away as she could from him.

It was as though she feared to be near him or even to talk to him.

But why?

"I won't repeat my orders twice," he persisted. When Ida didn't reply he prompted again, "Ida."

It took a while for her to answer him.

"...What was the real reason you asked me to leave the Survey Corps?" Ida asked very, very quietly.

"Because you're an important asset to humanity," Levi stated flatly as if he had been rehearsing it for the past week. "Being the last surviving member of the bloodline that created the Titans, we still don't know what makes your bloodline so special. You should be protected like Historia."

Ida subtly watched him through his speech from her peripheral vision — there was nothing new she could discern from his carefully guarded expression.

"...Just because of that?" she asked meekly, hating how pathetic she sounded. "...Not because you..."

She trailed off. Levi sat up straighter, triggered by her hesitance to continue. He had an inkling of what she wanted to ask before she stopped herself.

"It's the duty of every superior to care for—"

"—the ones beneath him." Ida finished for him monotonously. The squeeze in her hand grew tighter. "I know that already."

Levi grimaced stiffly, looking highly unamused. "Then why the hell are you asking something you already know?"

Because it hurts, because I don't want to be just a subordinate to you and a small part of me still wants to believe I'm more than that to you and I cannot bear to leave you — but Ida couldn't say that could she? Not when Levi reacted in such a manner at the slightest indication that the conversation was steering towards the status of their relationship.

Crestfallen, Ida shifted closer to the corner and sighed. She made a mental note to refrain from asking such questions — what if he asked her to leave the Survey Corps again?

She couldn't risk that. Where would she go then? What purpose would she have?

A long stretch of awkward silence passed before she said, "...It's your fault that we are trapped in here."

"Are you blaming me for that, brat?" Levi demanded hotly, his trade-mark scowl in play.

"Well yes, because you got angry for no reason at all," Ida replied, pouting as she pondered over her situation. "We were avoiding each other, things were fine. Until you carried me like a sack of shitty potatoes here — what's up with that? It's unlike you."

There were a few times in Levi Ackerman's life where he was stumped. Unfortunately for him, this was one of those times. He did not have an explanation for her. All signs of evidence pointed to the fact that he was jealous — but Levi would never accept that as an explanation.

It was odd, really. Even when he was trapped in this filthy cell with the last person he wanted to be with, he didn't particularly feel annoyed or angry. It was almost as if he was thankful for the situation — at least this way no one else could stare at her.

She was his to look at and his alone.

What the hell, Levi thought, positively mortified at his train of traitorous thoughts.

He gnashed his teeth in aggravation. Levi didn't know what to feel at this point. Everything related to Ida was confusing, contradicting and incomprehensible to him now. This was the power that she had over him — to stir his non-existent emotions, challenge his firm beliefs, and change him to a point Levi could not even recognize himself.

In so many ways, she was catastrophically marvelous to him.

He felt a nerve throb in his temple when he caught her obvious grimace at the situation. Did she really find being beside him so detestable? It was obvious that Ida was putting all her effort into avoiding him the past week — and she was very successful in evading him — and Levi couldn't help but feel glad that this predicament gave him an opportunity to at least look at her.

They say that the worst lies in this world are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what we think — and today, Levi Ackerman was experiencing this first-hand.

Rising like a pillar from the middle of his being, a singular mast of confusion forms in his chest. He was keenly aware of the contradictions of his emotions — awhile he wanted to avoid her, he didn't want her to avoid him.

Was this his pride talking, or his inner hidden emotions that he had squashed screaming?

Levi kept his silence as he wondered bitterly, unable to form a definite conclusion. Ida was right, he really couldn't make up his mind about what he felt for her.

Unfortunately for him, Ida did not miss the deep frown of thought that crossed Levi's usually apathetic features. Aware that she would not be able to extract a straight-out answer from him, she pursed her lips in defeat, understanding that he was adamant about keeping his silence.

"Forget it, forget I even asked," she said with a slight harshness. "It's not like I can ever understand how that brain of yours works..."

Silence cloaked over them like a lingering shadow again and Levi allowed it to reign longer. He closed his eyes in deep contemplation — he needed to think.

For once, Commander Dot Pixis' words were more than just a drunken old man's gibberish for him to ignore. The words that were spoken then were — as much as Levi was reluctant to admit — the undeniable truth. And it is those very words that are more than likely fuelling his current state, causing him to take a moment and truly consider their gravity.

For once, instead of trying to fight this odd emotion that he had been afflicted ever since he saw Ida with Seth, he simply let it be and mull it over, allowing it to play within his ribs.

In a deep retrospect, Levi realized that he was starting to go insane ever since Seth Fischer had joined the Survey Corps. The indisputable signs of mental wear were obvious. He found himself muttering when he was alone—especially after he saw the pair together—muttering things unintelligible to even himself.

Back and forth he wavered—should he push Ida away to Seth—should he separate them—it was constant wavering that just infuriated him so deeply because it wasn't like him to waver. Yet Levi Ackerman had never been confronted with such dilemmas, and he had no idea what to do.

His genius could not help him — this was not a new weapon that Hanji had developed to learn, a Titan Shifter to take down, or a new battle strategy Erwin devised to remember.

It was something… deeper.

Much, much deeper.

He exhaled a long-exasperated breath. Coming to terms with how disgustingly selfish he was — he could not keep her by his side, and yet he could not let her go.

A hand of unfamiliar shame clutched him at this realization.

A soft sneeze rudely interrupted his mediation and Levi snapped his eyes open, narrowing down on the shivering redhead on the floor. She looked so uncomfortable on the filthy cell floor and she huddled in the corner with that thin blanket as far away from him as if she was afraid of going near him.

"If you're going to be shivering at the floor like that, get the hell up the shitty bed." He found himself speaking before he could reign the words in.

She looked up to him in disbelief and his scowl deepened before he added, "Hurry up, I can't rest with your constant piss-poor sneezing. I've another meeting to attend tomorrow."

Ida observed him suspiciously and her tense features relaxed when she found nothing out of the ordinary.

"I don't want to," she said after a while, looking away. "I won't make any noise so just go back to sleep."

"Tch." Levi sneered at her hesitance, a plethora of irritation came flying at him. "Don't make me repeat myself again."

"It's inappropriate, sir." Ida reminded him flatly. "You're my Captain and I'm your subordinate."

He felt as though Ida had slapped him across the face when she said that. "If you say that I'm your Captain then this is an order from your superior officer, or are you incapable of following orders now?"

"...It's nothing like that, sir. It's just a basic necessary distance between two different genders."

"Ida Starke," he snarled through clenched teeth. "It's not what you're thinking, I just very much prefer that I don't wake up to seeing a subordinate half dead."

Her words were cold and indifferent. "I'm more resilient than that, sir. Rest assured."

"Do not make me drag you here." Levi intoned lethally. "This is the last time I'm asking."

He did not know why he was so belligerent — but it annoyed him greatly, this indifference, this formality between them. And above all, he could not deny that traitorous constriction he felt when Ida clearly established this barrier between them.

Why was she resisting him so much? He only wanted her to be comfortable, Levi had no other intentions, but Ida was acting as though she feared to go near him — as though it was the last thing she'd do.

At his persistence, Ida sighed audibly and slowly got off the floor. She approached him carefully with her blanket bundled in her arms. She bit her lower lip and Levi could see that her hand was trembling slightly. Whether it was from the cold or that she was truly afraid of him, he didn't know.

"...Are you sure?"

He glared at her condescendingly as his response.

Getting the message, Ida finally sat down next to him, careful to leave a small space between them. She folded her legs and leaned against the wall.

Awkwardly, she proffered the blanket to him, "It will be cold tonight, do you want it back?"

"No," Levi answered flatly, closing his eyes as he tried to suppress his emotions.

Another silence — one more choking in nature — enveloped them as Ida reeled her hand back in and dejectedly looked at her leg. Levi desperately tried to calm himself down. What was he thinking? The mere presence of her beside him had calibrated unnecessary sparks within him. Perhaps this was why Ida was so insistent on not coming near him. He concluded that to be the case as Ida had taken the hint and kept quiet, and for that Levi was grateful.

Now that he had gotten her off the dirty floor, all he needed to do was to get whatever rest he could, not think unnecessarily, and go back to their awkward formal relationship when they were released from their imprisonment.

Yes, this night would pass through smoothly.

But just as Levi was beginning to relax, Ida suddenly broke the silence.

"...Do you hate me?"

"Tch." Levi frowned — this again? He wondered why she always thought he hated her, if there was anyone who detested her, it was the woman herself. "Why do you think I do?"

"Because I have the devil's blood in me, the blood of the devils that have turned humans into Titans."

He stared at the dirty ceiling. "I already told you, it doesn't matter."

"You're not answering my question," Ida said stiffly with underlying dread. "Do you hate me — no, do you blame me?"

"No." He responded instantly, sitting up straighter. "I'm starting to feel like your shitty brain isn't living up to that big forehead of yours. It's an idiotic thing to ask, even for a miserable brat like you."

Contradicting her arrogant persona Ida had always portrayed to the public, Levi realized that she was one of the most insecure persons he had ever met, and he hated that about her... her contradiction — strong yet weak; arrogant yet insecure; ruthless yet merciful.

Ida was a walking oxymoron and perhaps that's why she loathed herself more than anyone else in the world.

"...But when the world finally knows that my family is the one responsible for all this suffering, they will still blame and condemn me." She paused briefly as if waiting for him to reply. "...Right?"

"I don't know how people will react to it." He replied dully, silently pondering why Ida had always thought that he knew all the answers — frankly, Levi didn't.

He wasn't as dependable as she had thought. But while Levi was unclear of the reactions of others, he was astoundingly clear that he would do his best to protect her from the world if the need arises.

He would stay by her side even if the world rejects her.

Her eyes hollowed as if her soul had left her. "My mother warned me what would happen if the world knew — they'll forever condemn us she said," Ida told him honestly, her fingers curling around the blanket on her lap. "Back then, I thought that she was stupid… But now..." she trailed off again, pausing as though to formulate her feelings into words.

He frowned deeper. "Now what?"

"...I can't help but wish I don't know anything at all… Because deep down now… I wished that I was never born..."

Of course, arrogance was a sin and she should've known better. Ida should've known that Elsie's words would have left an impact on her — a silent demon in her heart just waiting to be awakened again. A sleeping demon that she had suppressed and kept asleep out of sheer willpower.

The lingering sleeping demon had left its mark all over her body and she found living in constant fear and anxiety of its presence. The marks were deep enough to change anyone's outlooks — to change her outlook.

She closed her eyes and leaned her head back to the wall. "...Remember what I said, about how I would be content even if I was just a farmer's wife — how I dreamt of having a family of my own?"

"Mhmm," Levi hummed, fabricating disinterest. Despite his apathetic countenance, he was rather wary of the way that the conversation was heading towards.

"After knowing everything about my family history, I realized something…" she said monotonously, her visage stoic. "I don't want any children, any family, or a simple life anymore… I don't want to pass on this sin to someone else. I just want… to fight — to continue fighting in the Survey Corps... because I want a… purpose in my life."

All her life, Ida had secretly wished for a simple life somewhere else far from the Survey Corps, with a family to call her own, children around her to dote upon and her loved ones beside her — it was a dream that she had shared with him once. And it was a dream that went crumbling to million pieces the moment she discovered the sins of her bloodline.

"Tch. Purpose?" Levi scoffed snidely, sounding highly displeased. "Repentance, you mean."

"You were the one who told me before — no one joins the Survey Corps to be protected, only to protect." Ida pointed out calmly, turning her eyes to observe the frown that had embedded deep into his forehead. "You said that we're all here to protect others for the sake of their survival… And I'm here to protect people, with all my strength, I want to protect people. And yes... it might be my own stupid way of repentance, and you might disapprove but…"

She trailed off again, falling silent. Ida knew that Levi was impatiently waiting for her to come to her point and she exhaled out a loud sigh, finally breaching the topic that she was so hesitant to bring up out of fear for his reaction.

"So please… Just don't ever ask me to leave the Survey Corps again. I won't bother you; I just want to stay here."

This was what she was so worried about?

Levi's eyebrows furrowed when realization flooded him. Was this the reason why she was so tense? Because she was afraid that he would ask her to leave the Survey Corps again? How odd, Levi had always thought that she regretted joining the military, and in his darkest time, he even regretted forcing her to join, for robbing the life she wanted away from her.

Ida Starke was not fit for a life like this.

But here she was… pleading to stay.

Why?

Because he was here?

And if that was the case, why did Levi feel… happy about that?

It was so, so wrong — he should've been angry, he should've forced her to leave, but before the rational side of him took control again, he heard himself agreeing before he could even stop himself.

"Fine."

"W — Wait, just like that?" She spluttered; eyes wide. Ida could not hide her surprise at how easy it was to convince him. "Seriously...?"

It was obvious to Levi now that past week she was plagued with the silent stalking fear that if she were to talk to him, he would ask her to leave once again. Finally, he understood why she looked so afraid of him.

"I don't care if what you're thinking is correct or not. You should carry it through, not even your superior has the right to deny or dictate your belief. Therefore, vent your feelings, criticize them, deny them — I won't stop you." Levi answered, keeping his impassive mask on. "...Just, come back alive, that's all."

Ida found herself smiling softly at his words — 'come back alive' was what he would tell her every time before an expedition. It was those three words that gave her the will to fight.

She felt a warmness surge through her veins, and out of a sudden, she didn't feel so cold anymore.

"...But if you say that no one has the right to dictate your belief, why did you ask me to join the Survey Corps back then?"

"...Because you had no purpose — a shitty brat who just wanted to die. You looked as though you have been through hell like there's unquenchable hate that you couldn't sate no matter what." Levi stated flatly, remembering her hatred that scorched everything around her. "...But even though you wanted nothing more to die, you cling onto life."

Ida took his explanation with a stoic expression and he couldn't read what she was feeling.

He exhaled, deepening his glare at the crack on the wall. "You weren't like those other brats, you knew the real threat of Titans," Levi explained sedately. "You... may be a little brat, but you're not that stupid. That's what I saw in you."

He felt her shift uncomfortably beside him. "...I heard Erwin personally recruited you."

Levi scoffed humourlessly at that memory — recruited was a nice way to put it, blackmailing was the cruder term. "Yeah, he did."

"Why?"

"Because I was the same as you," Levi replied, more honest than he had ever been in the past week. "Back in the shit-hole called underground, it was 'only me' and 'everyone else' — it was much easier to live that way, but he opened up my eyes and gave me a purpose."

'Only me' and 'everyone else' — Ida found the words resonating within her, it was words that she had told herself time and time again. She suddenly felt very stupid for feeling that Levi had detested and was disgusted with her for what happened back at the Underground City. She should've known better, that he was right, as he had always been. That he was an equally detestable monster like her — the only one capable of understanding her.

Her monsters had found a home with him too.

Ida had claimed that she loved him, and perhaps in her own twisted way, it was true. But he was a monster, only capable of a monster's love.

How fitting, she thought bitterly. Monsters loving monsters.

Loving him was like going to war, and she never came back the same.

Perhaps love was the most savage monster of all.

"Did you dream about living on the land above as well back then?"

"Not really," Levi answered monotonously. "Back in the underground, all we could do is to stay alive and I just lived plainly to do that. Fighting my way through that damned shithole. But… I realized that I was different."

"Different?"

"Stronger," he clarified.

"You mean your powers that came from the bloodline you descended from."

"Yes," Levi confirmed plainly. "And it was because of this… when I started to form relationships with people, I began to feel that I could do things for others, it was just my shitty arrogance, so I started thinking about living in the world above."

"Farlan and Isabel?"

"...Yes," he answered, wondering why he felt comfortable telling her this. "But when they died, I realized that whenever I went, it was the same shitty situation. Here above among the Walls, down below at the shitty rat hole, it was the same bullshit all over again. Because of my capabilities, I just felt that I should make the most of what I could do."

She nodded her head, a sad smile on her lips as she stared at the ceiling. "...And you emerged the strongest after awakening your sense of mission — your purpose."

Levi did not reply to her and Ida did not persist in extracting a reply from him. For a moment, the two of them just sat there on the bed in silence, each drowning in their own thoughts before Ida broke it after a deep inhalation.

"I wonder sometimes — that while we fight for this 'purpose' we have found, while we fight for humanity, whether we begin to lose our humanity as well," she said despondently, a feeling of sadness overcoming her. "Back then, even if I knew that I was stronger than most people, all I thought about was living a quiet life, to start my own family, to be… free… It was selfish of me, wasn't it? I did not have such honorable thoughts as you did."

Levi bristled at her statement and his expression twisted into a snarl, "It's not too late, you're not too far gone. If you want to leave, then just fucking do and stop whining about it. We have no time for stupid dreams such as this."

He couldn't understand why he was being so antagonistic, but her statement annoyed him as much as it did when he first heard her talk about it months back. He had known about it for ages — her secret desire to live a simple life — and this frustrated him in so many ways. Because he knew deep down, he could not give her the life she wanted to her and because… this meant that she would leave if she had the choice.

Even though she had promised that she would never leave him, Levi was not convinced. When push came to shove, when things got too hard, when her attachment to him finally fades… Ida would certainly leave, he was sure.

Strangely, Ida only smiled at his hostility.

"Sadly, it is too late to turn back Levi..." Ida replied softly, closing her eyes. "Because I finally found my purpose — you're my purpose. Keeping you alive, is my purpose. I want to protect you too. I told you before, didn't I? I won't ever leave you, and we will go to the depths of hell together. Whether you like it or not, I'm your partner and I want to protect you."

Levi's eyes widened significantly at her honest statement and his heart skipped a beat.

All his life, he had always been the protector, a sword that was ready to be unsheathed at a single command. Yet this weak woman who once couldn't even stomach the thought of sacrificing human lives, who was once so hesitant to draw her blade at humans, who was once so afraid of staining her hands again... had just told him so easily that keeping him alive was her purpose.

That she wanted to protect him.

And she would never leave this hell because of that.

It dawned upon him then that there was a glaring possibility that perhaps this sudden change and determination in her was due to her wanting to stay by his side regardless of whether he returned her feelings. It made perfect sense. Her emotions were always the thing that drove her to act.

Ida never wanted to fight, but she had to because the people she desired to protect were swallowed by never-ending war.

He felt a strange mixture of guilt and happiness percolate deep within his soul — happiness because he finally understood that Ida was so attached to him that she will never leave him, and guilt because she would never be safe beside him.

Yes, it was all his fucking fault.

His fault for allowing her to grow attached to him. His fault for selfishly forcing her to stay by her side to fight. His fault for even bringing someone so weak and humane to a battlefield that would surely tear her soul to shreds.

However just as he began to spiral down into a dark abyss of self-loathing, Levi found a strange omnipresent serenity caress him and its light began to chase away the darkness.

Truly, Levi could not comprehend this sudden influx of emotions.

'Humanity's strongest' they had called him, and he detested the title with a passion. In all its glory, fame and prestige, Levi hated it. For it only meant that he could only continue walking down a bloody path of loneliness.

For years he had tolerated it, that strict code of behavior. Levi did so not only because it's expected of him, but also because he refused to take the risk of breaking that boundary of unfamiliarity among everyone who treated him differently because of his title.

He was the protector, not the protected. The savior, not the saved. The hero, not the victim.

This was the role he had to play; wearing a mask and pretending to be something special. The man of stone, who had no conflicting inner battles, no paranoia, no weaknesses...

But underneath it all, he was nothing more than a beaten-down broken man with nothing more than superior strength and abilities. He was not special; he was just another nobody struggling in the middle of a war.

Suddenly he felt her move and her head landed right on his shoulder. Levi felt his body go rigid on his own accord and he heard her exhale out softly.

"I missed those times…" Ida's voice was barely over a whisper. "...Back when we would just talk like this…"

"Tch." Levi scoffed softly, but his tone was gentler than usual and missing its usual deadpan. "You talk as if it had been years."

"It felt like years." Ida retorted flatly but her next statement hosted a bucketful of longing, "...Back when we were just flying around slaying Titans, bickering with each other, and driving each other insane… Back when we didn't know all that we know now… Back when things were… so much easier… I've forgotten what we were like back then..."

"Yeah…" he agreed flatly after a short silence, reminiscing about the distant past. "It felt like a damned long time ago."

Levi too had forgotten the special connection that he had shared with her — ever since she'd come back alive, all they've had were relentless arguments. Like oil and water, they did not mix. They were so different in their beliefs that he'd forgotten the reason why he was so attached to her in the first place.

Because he felt safe around her. Because he knew that his monsters had indeed found a home in her and that Ida, despite being so different from him, was the only one capable of fully understanding him and accepting him.

Levi knew that Ida was also lost in the memory of the past because when he turned slightly to look at her, her eyes had regained their clarity, revived by the memories.

"I remember the first time I got seriously pissed at you," she said lightly, chuckling. "I stepped all over your bed with my dirty boots and you made me scrub every stupid staircase at the headquarters with a tiny toothbrush. That was probably the worst thing I did, mm?"

"You forget the damned time you threw a half-eaten bun at your superior officer," he pointed out with a sharp edge, scoffing.

She laughed softly, a smile on her lips. "Right. And you made me sharpen all the blades in the legion."

"Tch." Levi snorted, amused that she found it funny. "You even fucking kicked me into a shitty mud pile once. You spiteful brat."

"It was an accident," she reminded him. "And I did apologize, though I wouldn't say I didn't enjoy seeing you covered in mud. Dirtying the clean freak was always on my resume."

He rolled his eyes at that memory, "Tch. If this was any other person, I wonder how many damned times their heads would have rolled."

"Yeah…" she said quietly, her smile still in play. "...It must have been torturous for you."

Levi scoffed lightly. "So, you did know how much of a painful brat you were."

He felt her body move as she chuckled again. "And you know how much of an unapproachable asshole you were," she retorted coolly, her tone bearing no harm. "You've to admit, you were a jerk."

Levi said nothing and companionable silence overtook them in the most basic of ways. It was the same companionable silence that the pair often held between them in the past. The increments of time became irrelevant; all that seemed to matter was reveling in one another's existence.

The ghost of the past danced around them and Levi felt strangely at peace. He truly did enjoy times like this that he shared with her, both past and present.

She was calming, like the light rain that washed away the ache in his soul. Ida could be maddening at times, but she was magic to him. There was not a trace of a lie in her fire. Ida was everything real in a world of make-believe.

A beautiful kind of madness that was a misunderstood truth.

"I hated you, you know," Ida whispered unexpectedly. "You were always so strict with everything and most importantly, you made me feel… uneasy…"

He scoffed in disbelief, amused. "And you still insisted on being a detestable shitty brat despite feeling that way?"

"Well... because I truly hated you, not because you have aggravating cleaning habits, but I really did truly hate you."

Levi fought hard to keep his surprise off his expression. "Why?"

"Because you're perfect, Levi, and I hate perfect people," Ida answered quietly. "...I hated that you were so strong despite being through so much. A man of stone… So perfect and unbreakable. You embodied everything I could never become. I was so spiteful. So jealous... So, I wanted to see you fall..."

"That's a shitty way of thinking." Levi scowled, a darkness resting his narrowed eyes. "You didn't even know anything about me back, I might be imperfect."

"But I did know something — that you were strong. And I could never be like you. Therefore, I hated you."

"What about now?"

"You'll always be perfect to me… because you are the strongest and you will never fall."

His eyebrows creased. "I'm not as strong as you think I am, nor as perfect."

"Maybe..." Ida conceded half-heartedly. "Don't you ever get tired of fighting?"

"...Perhaps."

"I know you." Ida smiled sadly; her eyes still closed. "You hate fighting more than anything else."

"What makes you say that?" he inquired, wondering what had given him away.

Many would say due to personality and mannerism of speech that Levi enjoyed fighting more than anything. But not Ida, of course, she was the only exception as she had always been in his life.

"Because, I know you care for people, that you were just as disturbed as me when Hanji theorized that Titans were originally humans, that you cared for every single one of our anguished fallen… and that despite it all, you were willing to care for a fucked up person like me..." Ida said, opening her eyes to stare blankly at the ceiling. "You… are like me… You hate bloodshed more than anything else. But the world is cruel, and it plays the biggest joke of all — it gives strength to people who detest fighting the most."

Levi looked as though he was contemplating on the right words to say. "...We have no choice," he stated flatly, imbedded with a twinge of frustration. "Someone has to exterminate the harmful brutes."

"I know." Ida agreed sadly and sighed comfortably as she shifted and made herself comfortable on his shoulder. She felt her eyelids grow heavier and she shut them again. "...I'm just glad that I don't have to do it alone."

Levi stayed still in an attempt not to disturb her comfortable position. "...You were never alone."

"Mhmm…" she hummed contently, relishing in the warmth from his body heat. "...And you are not alone anymore either, I'll stay beside you through hell, I won't… ever forsake you..."

Not alone anymore.

Her words were resonating deep within him, threatening to release every single buried emotion Levi had so painstakingly suppressed. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying desperately to reign everything back in.

But it was futile.

Somehow, in some inexplicable, unseen way, the unbreakable barrier that he had put around his heart has been penetrated again.

So many barriers he had placed around himself and time and time again, Ida had somehow managed to break them down. How she did it was beyond him. What makes her so different from the others was beyond his comprehension. All he knew was that all his work in retaining solitude amounted to nothing around her.

The world might have seen him as an unapproachable emotionless asshole, but Ida didn't. And he was thankful for that as at one point in time, he wasn't like this. Levi didn't enjoy being this stoic, heartless statue of a man in the eyes of most of his subordinates and comrades.

If he was truly honest, he understood and put up with Ida's incessant questions of him hating her because he didn't want people to think of him as a wretched monster either.

But they did… because this was the persona that he had to put up.

The intimidating glares, the aloof nature, the unfeeling Lance Corporal with the razor tongue — this was a result of the twisted, broken man that the Underground City and the Survey Corps had chewed and spit out. It was a natural act to protect himself from further torment and pain. He was determined never to repeat the same mistake again.

Deep down, he too had shared her selfish wishes of living a peaceful life with a family of his own and maybe even opening a tea shop. But Levi never knew a peaceful life — the only two things that come close to peace was the time he spent with his mother, a child still innocent to the horrors in the world, and the time that he had spent with Isabel and Farlan.

It was a mixture of friendship and family with those two, and while he wasn't truly 'happy', he was content. For once, after his mother died, he felt truly content. But they died because of him. Because he left them. They died because of a stupid mistake that he made while clouded by anger and ruthlessness. They followed him, trusted him, and he could not protect them. He had already failed once in protecting those he cared about, and that pain still cripples him to this day.

Attachments were unnecessary, he had determined then to cope.

He would never allow destiny that morbid chance to ruin everything again. And so, he forced himself to not care, to not feel. He forced himself to see his comrades who ate with him as necessary sacrifices. He forced himself to become a man of stone. He was determined to shoulder everything alone because they called him the strongest. Levi had been so successful in maintaining his solitude…

Until now.

Ida had once again broken his mold.

He watched her breathe, counting her every shallow and content breath. Levi had realized that she was fast asleep by now as she rested her head on his shoulder. He felt a wave of inexplicable frustration rush over him and he grit his teeth as he hurried to dissipate it.

How could this shitty brat just fall asleep after saying something like that? He cursed silently, bitter that he had to deal with this onslaught of emotions by himself.

His frustration disappeared as fast as it came when he saw how peaceful she looked.

His hands moved on its own accord, wanting to drape the blanket over her, but this movement caused Ida to slip down his shoulder. Hurriedly, he caught onto her before she could fall, and he guided her head onto his lap. Ida shifted to her side instinctively and curled up, snuggling her makeshift pillow. She sighed as she smacked her lips together.

Gingerly, he swept her bangs away from her face and his fingers trailed down her cheeks, caressing the smooth surface. Ida looked so peaceful and Levi just stared at her, relishing at how different she seemed.

He desperately wanted to imprint this image in his mind forever.

Levi wished she would forever stay this way — peaceful, content, and beside him. For when she looked like this and not with her hollow dead like eyes that she was prone to possess ever since she came back, he felt a sense of peace and contentment, or if he would be so bold to say, happiness.

The touch of her skin revived his soul, and when he was with her, the world around them did not exist anymore. Even among the chaos of war, Levi felt carefree as though the stars weren't bound to fallen comrades but to his feelings instead.

Only his eyes could tell how much her absence made his world go darker.

And only her presence could tell how much his happiness looked so much like her.

He frowned deeply, wondering why this emotion he was feeling was so difficult to decipher. He was comfortable beside her, he trusted her, he was inundated with morbid jealousy whenever he thought of her being with someone else, he wanted her to stay by his side for the sake of his own sanity and yet he wanted her to leave more than anything so she could be safe and happy.

A simple word that accurately described this emotion played upon the back of his mind, but Levi denied it the right to ever leave his lips.

Love.

But Levi Ackerman was not capable of love.

He was not capable of receiving love.

He was a criminal, born in the shithole of the Underground City. He had taken lives without a twinge of remorse. He had made mistakes that resulted in the deaths of his friends. He had abandoned comrades in the name of duty. He had walked over corpses and not shed a single tear. He was a despicable human being that was devoid of any emotions, a hardened shell of an empty man who couldn't even prioritize the life of someone he cared about when he left her to die.

He was not perfect as Ida had so declared.

And yet... he was named the strongest, and the strongest could never fall.

He was the man of stone, unbreakable and utterly incapable of love.

And yet… there he was, gaping in wonder over a warmth that he never knew could exist within him.

A warmth that only occurred solely whenever this stupid, humane, bratty, weak redhaired woman was beside him.

What that they had shared that night before she left for Jaron Starke on her own separate mission was nothing more than passion — Levi had convinced himself.

A passionate mistake made between two people who were beyond broken by this cruel world and needed a place to vent their feelings. It was momentary comfort; the pretense peace in the apparent chaos, nothing more than commiserating with each other.

It was a night fuelled by emotions — rage, lust, hatred, longing, loneliness, hope, and undying passion between two individuals who completely understood each other.

It was fuelled by anything other than love.

But tonight, as they shared the same room again for the first time since then, Levi could not lie to himself any longer.

He moved to grab the blanket that had fallen off her, but before he could drape it over her to shield her from her coldness of the night, he saw something protruding out from her pocket slightly. He paused mid-action, his eyes widening in shock.

Levi Ackerman could recognize the item anywhere.

It was the bracelet he had given her.

The same bracelet that Ida had declared she had gotten rid of a few days ago. It was at this influx of new information that Levi understood, Ida couldn't bear to forsake him. How wrong he was to think otherwise, he should've known that Ida, like him, still couldn't make up her mind.

His heartbeat elevated as he proceeded to cover her with the blanket.

Levi didn't know how long had passed as he watched her sleep, but before he knew it, his hand moved to touch her hand slightly. In a rare moment of vulnerability, he decided to take her hand into his. Her fingers curled instinctually even as she slept, grasping his hand tightly.

Their fingers interlocked, spreading the warmness throughout him.

Only then did Levi know that Ida was right, he wasn't alone anymore.

Ida would stay beside him throughout it all, because she was the only capable of understanding him, of loving him, of accepting him. Because he knew that her monsters had found a home within him as well. So even if he could not give her the life she wanted, Ida would truly stay beside him and grasp into the fire in a heartbeat.

Because she loved him.

Self-destructively, passionately, and obstinately, Ida loved him.

Levi tore his eyes off her sleeping figure and leaned his head on the wall he was resting on. He breathed deeply, closing his eyes as he tried to reign in his exploding emotions.

He squeezed her hand tighter.

And he loved her too — he could not deny this now.

Even though he had convinced himself repeatedly that he was incapable of it, Levi Ackerman knew that he loved her.

With every heartbeat, with every breath, with every fiber of his body, Levi loved her.

And just like how Ida could not let go of him, Levi knew now that he was the same.

She hated him because he was perfect, Ida had admitted just now. She wanted to see him fall.

And Ida Starke had finally gotten her wish.

For Levi Ackerman had finally truly fallen.

---

So finally he admits it :p! Now how will their relationship change now! I hope this chapter is more 'fluffier' than the previous depressing ones. There's really never a gray area between the Levi and Ida, when it's going good it's fantastic when it's bad it's horrendous. I guess it's just their dynamic. For the reviewer who requested for a jealous Levi, here's a full chapter on it! :3

I'm slowly building and adding small tidbits about the main plot. Frankly, I just want to focus on their relationship building for now. It's too much to juggle both at once since the plotline is just huge. I'm making good use of the 3-month timeskip before they return to Shiganshina. I do hope the pacing is okay.

Also sorry that the chapters are long, some of you seem to prefer them though from the reviews. I've always thought long chapters were bad ._.

[Additional A/N: I realized that some might not understand why Ida was so 'sweet' with their final talk in the end when she had declared she hated him in the last chapter. Well, yes, Ida hates Levi, but she equally loves him as much - she can not truly 'hate' him, and it's not as if she doesn't understand his reasonings, she does.

Love and hate lie on a very thin line. The two are very powerful emotions. Hate breeds passion, passion breeds love, and vice versa. A love-hate intrapersonal relationship is very common, especially when you are in a very unstable relationship. Love can quickly turn to hate, hate can quickly turn to love, especially when the feelings you are feeling are so, so strong. So I hope this explains it :3]