To see a Darkened Sun
End 2
Quick note: I recommend listening to Guts' theme while reading this
Moonlight flooded the room, filling his eyes in a refreshing, subtle glow. As always, it was gentle, cool, calm, like delicate waters, washing over him and breathing life anew into him. Gazing into the moon directly, the glow hurt his eyes, but not in the way the sun would burn them, it simply felt heavy.. large.
But he was used to that by now, and as his eyes adjusted, all weight seemed to lift from his body, freeing him from his tiresome duty for just a moment.
Arias breathed deep from the cold, crisp air, he felt it pass through his lungs, like a blizzard passing through scorched earth, bringing new life to a battered field. Breathing out, he closed his eyes again, and felt the warmth of Gwyndolin in his arms, then reality sunk back in, equipment weighing down on him once more. Though now, it wasn't as cumbersome, he felt he was able to move freely once more.
Now as his mind thought back to his duty, it didn't feel nearly as impossible, just like a stone in the road, that he may stumble on once or twice.
"Arias?" He heard Gwyndolin ask quietly, drawing his mind back to the present.
"Hm?" He hummed in response.
"Couldst thou tell me truthfully now. What happened? To cause thine fall? I suppose it sounds silly saying it aloud, but thou gave me quite the fright." Gwyndolin asked. Arias looked up, breathing in the icy air once more, he thought on what was ahead of him.
"I suppose..." He sighed.
"I'm not quite sure. I was tired, so tired. I don't even know why, I'd been given enough estus to heal the wounds of ten soldiers, and I was fine but, I just couldn't keep going. The bleakness of my future wasn't helping to keep me going I suppose, but there's hardly anything to be done about that."
"..."
"Thou speaketh as if thou no longer feels as such."
"You're right, I don't. For whatever reason, just being here with you, breathing in the air. I feel well rested, like I did after that week of resting here, with you."
"That's good. Thou deserveth more rest. For all thou does for me, for the world."
"Thank you."
"Hmm? What for?"
"For, well, for everything."
"Arias..."
"I love you Gwyndolin, and you have my deepest gratitude for being here for me. I'll never forget you, your love. Never, not even in death."
Gwyndolin felt that, deep in his heart, it reminded him of something he'd long tried to ignore, to forget about, but these tender words, brought it all back. How this started, his meddling, his inconsiderate manipulation. He was the cause of his, Arias' hollowing, and soon his death.
"Arias..." He began to tear up again. "There's something I must tell thee."
"Hm?" Arias hummed again.
"This is all, all because of..." He didn't want to say it, he wasn't even facing Arias, yet he could already see that look of betrayal painting itself across his face. But it was burning him on the inside, the immense weight of this guilt.
"It's... it's all mine fault... 'Tis all because of me." He choked out through his tight throat. Arias was shocked at first, but he wouldn't believe it, instead choosing to believe that it was his depression speaking, Gwyndolin had demonstrated a tendency to look down on himself only a day ago after all. That must be it. It was a loose connection but there was no other answer.
"Oh no don't say that. We both know that isn't the truth. It's just how fate is-"
"No Arias! That is mine point, what disgusts me no end. I mineself hast brought this fate to thee. In order to sustain the age of fire, I sought to create a tradition of linking the flame as mine father once had. I fabricated the legend of the chosen undead, the bells, in order to create the perfect champion as offering to the flame. Now here we are, my perfect champion, everything went perfectly, but I never accounted for how mine heart wouldst shift, nor did it occur to me the ramifications of mine meddling. Thine fate is all due to me. And I am so sorry."
Upon hearing this, Arias slowly let go of Gwyndolin and leaned away, trying to process what had just been said.
Gwyndolin held his eyes shut tight, he could see it clear as day now, the image of Arias' face, the betrayal in his eyes, there were even tears. He knew that if he opened his eyes, he'd still see the same thing. He was starting to regret this, maybe he should've just let Arias go on believing it was all fate, then he could die happily, without knowing he'd been betrayed. Now he would die with this burden, what has he done.
Arias had devoted himself to Gwyndolin in his last life, and stayed devoted to him in this life. Why was it, that he stayed so devoted, lacking memories, he didn't even know why he was so devoted in the first place.
Yet he'd done so much for Gwyndolin, even going as to fall in love with the god he'd worshiped. Why. He hadn't even thought about this until now, now he was having second thoughts. He loved him, but after this, maybe it was time he really thought about why he'd fallen so deeply in love with him.
Deep down he always knew, that he was being lied to, ever since he appeared to him as a man after presenting himself as a woman. And though this was later confirmed, he still didn't question it, there were reasons behind the lies, and he was told in time, and they were all justifiable, understandable. But this was out there, even after all that.
Why was he so devoted to him. His oldest memory now, was of his last life, Oscar, resting on the roof of one of the buildings of Anor Londo, mind hazy, and then, he thought of Gwyndolin, then he was at ease, calmed by the mere thought of his god.
His oldest memory, and of course there was Gwyndolin. Now when Arias thought about it, Gwyndolin has been present his entire current life, he was something of an anchor, that proved he existed before, a tie to this world when he had no others.
And he was so kind.
But then with this new information, he had to remember that, he went hollow in the first place due to Gwyndolin, his plan had put him in this situation. The man he was before, died because of him. But that was the man he was. This new man, the one named Arias was saved by his god.
He felt conflicted. He took his last life, but gave him a new one in return. In all truth, he is who he is now because of Gwyndolin, and maybe he has some thanks to give for that.
Gwyndolin felt that the silence might kill him, that picture of Arias in his mind still lingered, haunting him, he'd done this, this torment, all of it, the fault lied with him and him alone. Because of his damned meddling, all for his selfish want, for the approval of a dead man who hated him.
"Gwyndolin" Arias spoke, his voice low. Gwyndolin was shocked out of the mental hole he'd thrown himself into, that picture of torment was flung out of his mind as he opened his eyes to be greeted by Arias' somber expression.
"I... I don't know if I forgive you." Gwyndolin felt his heart sink with those words.
"But, I don't know if I hold it against you either. The man you manipulated into this duty, he's gone. Oscar I mean, I don't know anything about him, I was never shaped by the pain, joy or dread he was. I never felt what he felt. Except for one brief moment back at the beginning. The man I was, may be gone thanks to your manipulation but... I wouldn't be who I am now if not for you. In a strange way I feel... thankful, or something of the sort."
"I don't know if I forgive you, but... I don't hold it against you." Arias once again breathed in the icy cold air as he finished, he waited a moment so as to let what he'd said sink in.
Gwyndolin was shocked. He'd tossed the words about in his mind, trying to decide how to feel about them. It was nothing like the response he was anticipating, but it still wasn't like the unwavering loyalty he would hear from him before. Now he wondered if he'd ever hear that again, or had he lost that privilege now.
He cursed himself for saying anything, he really should have just kept it in, not gambled their entire relationship at a time like this. At a time like this...
"What happens now?" Gwyndolin asked hesitantly.
"I don't know, I suppose I go off and throw myself into the flame. Fate or not, it's the way things have been ordained." Gwyndolin felt that right in his heart, it made him feel ill, though he supposed he deserved it.
"N-No." He was surprised to hear himself blurt out.
"What?" Arias was confused, this was all because of him, he'd gone to such lengths to put everything in place for this to happen. What did he mean 'no'?
"I- I cannot let thee." Why was he saying this? Whether he loved Arias or not that did not matter, this was all for the age of fire, his feelings were irrelevant, but despite this he continued.
"I cannot let thee sacrifice thyself because of me. After all the torment mine scheming hast put onto thee. Please, let me do at least this, to redeem mineself to thee." Gwyndolin couldn't believe he was saying this now, had his love for Arias really clouded his mind so much? Or maybe, having someone be so close had made everything clearer. Gwyndolin took Arias' hand in his, looking deep into his eyes as he spoke.
"I appreciate that, I really do, but it doesn't work like that. With every passing moment, I feel this, sense, pulling me towards the flame, and ignoring this sense, it's like blinding myself. I need to go there, even if I link the flame or die trying, I need to go." Arias explained, pulling his hand away from Gwyndolin, much to his despair.
"Oh..." Gwyndolin mumbled. Of all the responses he could've gotten, he wasn't expecting that.
"I'm sorry." Was all he said. Begrudgingly he stood up and bid him farewell. Walking out of the room and down the hall, Arias once again breathed deep, the crisp air filling his lungs and bestowing clarity. His thoughts lingered on Gwyndolin as he took hold of the last homeward bone in his pack.
He'd known he was to die from the start, though he only wished he didn't have to bear witness to this tragic turn of events right at the end of his life.
Gwyndolin remained silent. Had that just really happened? What had he done? He could've prevented this so long ago, if only he'd stopped him leaving after that night they spent together, or even better if he'd stopped him after he'd prevented his hollowing.
But did he really want that? To end the age of fire, which he'd given to much to prolong. No he didn't, he just wanted Arias to live, to be with him, he could've found another if he had the time. No he couldn't, that was a lie, Arias was their last chance.
There was no other options, end the age of fire, or kill Arias. Did he really want that? Did he really value Arias' life, over their glorious age of fire. Was he really that precious? One undead?
In all honesty he didn't want to imagine a world without him at all, even if that meant living in darkness.
Alone in an empty world embraced by flame, or in the company of one he loved in an era of darkness. After the linking of the flame, what would happen next? Gwyndolin would continue to run this city from the shadows, and another time would come, another undead would link the flame. It would all be the same, unending misery.
He already knew how that felt. Endlessly mourning family that hated him and manipulating people from the shadows for what? Not even his own gain, but for those long dead now.
In contrast, he'd at least have a chance to be happy if Arias was alive, age of dark or not. He felt like crying again, why did fate have to be this way.
No... he supposed it wasn't fate, it was his own doing. He winced at the thought, Arias would die because of him.
Though...
This was all his doing. What if he could undo it as well? Fate had no hand in this, therefore he might be able to change the outcome.
Did he really want to do that though? Doing so would result in an age of dark.
Looking at the bright full moon through the window, he knew his answer.
Arias wasted no time on his march to the kiln of the first flame, that sense felt like it might rip him off his feet and drag him there if he wasn't fast enough. So he hurried, straight past the black knights, running up the stairs, before he knew it he was dashing through a wall of fog.
As he passed through, he was met with the view of the old lord, Gwyn, wielding the flame itself, leaping straight at him. Caught by surprise, Arias only had enough time to unsheathe his greatsword and block the blow with it, resulting in the two getting into a bind.
Arias attempted to overpower the lord, but in turn Gwyn slipped his blade free and shattered Arias' greatsword with a heavy strike.
Arias instinctively backstepped away from the flaming lord but this proved to be a bad idea as he just ran at him and attempted to hit him with an overhead swing.
With no options left, backed up against the fog wall, Arias caught the blade in another bind, between the cracked blade and the hilt of his greatsword.
Seeing that the blade had stopped, Arias quickly slipped the hilt off of the blade and stabbed it into the hollowed eyes of the lord of cinder. It made a sound like falling rubble and the lord did not flinch, instead taking this chance to pick up Arias by the throat and let loose a surge of flame into his body.
Tossed to the ash, his insides were burning, it hurt so much he wanted to die. Gwyn, seeing him writhing on the floor, left him to do just that, letting the flame eat away at him from the inside. Arias desperately reached for his estus, taking deep gulps he forced himself back onto shaking feet.
He felt as though he'd collapse at any minute. He can't die now, he can't die now.
Gritting his teeth, Arias unsheathed his Moonlight greatsword and charged at the lord screaming. The blade glowed with the rays of the moon, and when he swung down, he heard the hit land. The blade shattered on impact, leaving him with another bladeless hilt in his hands.
Arias looked at the hilt, shocked that it had broken so quickly, only to look back and see a blade headed straight for him.
The force of the blow flung him halfway across the room, face buried in ash, sword broken, he was finished. He'd failed in his mission and he'd let all he'd done up until this point be for nothing.
Though for some reason, he felt himself pushing himself up again. Why? Oh right, it was that sense again. He hobbled towards the lord of cinder, fists held up, only to get flung back into the ash again, and again. Soon he could barely even stand, mangled arms and legs twisting in directions they shouldn't, large cuts and broken armor all over his body.
Yet he kept going. Until he could no longer stand. Then he dragged himself with his hands. Gwyn walked over to his beaten body and held his greatsword above his heart, intent on impaling him through it's length. Arias feebly scratched at his feet as he prepared to kill him, only stopping when he heard something pass through the wall of fog.
He couldn't see it, hell he couldn't see anything but blood red ash. He heard the drawing of a bow, then the release. And three arrows, one after the other, presumably hit their target.
Something collapsed to the floor, and all was silent, then he heard something approaching. It didn't sound like footsteps, more like something moving along the ground, slithering maybe. Could that be...?
He heard a feminine gasp, and then finally words.
"A-Arias, is that really... Art thou alive?" it asked. Arias attempted to say something but as the words came out, blood joined them and he promptly had a coughing fit on the floor, blood pouring out of his mouth and his wounds searing in pain.
"Ah! S-Stay still." the voice gasped, quickly leaning down and taking hold of him as to stop him writhing in pain. Soft gentle hands.
He couldn't believe this was him, the mangled, scorched flesh painted red from his own blood. It made him want to cry, but he refused to, he had to be strong for Arias.
Gwyndolin looked back at the flame, now it was sputtering out, dying in front of them.
No time for that, quickly he took out his catalyst and cast a healing sorcery, then another, then another, and finally a fourth. He'd only used one on Arias before, but this was much more urgent.
He watched closely as his wounds gradually disapeared, cuts and broken bones vanishing as his body returned to a healthy state of being. Though the blood remained, in the ash, and all over his body. And his armor had many holes, dents and slices through it, the surcoat in tatters. Why did he have to fight so recklessly.
Soon all his wounds were healed, but something was wrong. Arias was still groaning in pain, and soon he was convulsing on the floor. Gwyndolin panicked and held him down, he was so weak now that he couldn't resist even him, it hurt to see him like this.
Gwyndolin had no idea what was wrong with him, though he sensed something familiar residing within him, something that wasn't there before. Maybe that was it. Somehow he felt this familiar presence guiding him.
Breathing deep, Gwyndolin steeled himself and reached out to Arias' soul. Very few could manipulate the soul of a living being, only those who received lord souls or masters of sorcery. Luckily Gwyndolin was both of these, meaning he had no trouble reaching deep into his soul.
It was dark, but there was something bright in there, he knew humans and undead alike were of the dark, so it was clear that this light was likely the source of his plight.
Carefully he teased it out of him, with his hands he pulled a raging fire through his mouth. A part of the first flame. It had already been eating away at his insides. How on earth.
Now he held it in his hands, Gwyndolin felt it's tremendous power, and almost instinctively smothered it in the ash. Not long after, the entire flame went out. Somehow it felt right.
He looked back over to Arias who was unconscious now. His breathing was still labored. Worried, Gwyndolin looked back into his soul only to have his fears confirmed. His soul had been burnt, not only that but it looked like bits of it had been taken. He remembered that darkwraith using dark miracles on him. It must've happened then.
Though it seemed bad, Gwyndolin knew how to heal an undead's dark soul. Reaching into Arias' pack he found one in no time, a humanity sprite. Now with this he just had to... That's strange, pressing it onto his chest didn't do anything. Maybe putting it into his palm? On the forehead?
Nope, nothing worked. How did they... He remembered now, he'd seen his blades of the darkmoon crush them in their hands. But Arias couldn't do that, even if he wasn't unconscious, he'd be too weak to.
There was nothing to be done. Unless... If he crushed the humanity sprite and passed it through to Arias' soul, that could work. But, as a being of light, there was no telling what that could do to him. He looked at Arias' face again. He'd already sacrificed so much for him, just this bit more wouldn't be too much.
Breathing deep once again, Gwyndolin crushed the humanity sprite in his hand, and in an instant, pain surged throughout his very being. He screamed as he tried to reach into Arias' soul again to pass the humanity through, but the immense pain made it hard to focus. There, he'd reached into his soul, now he just had to-
He felt the darkness inside him slip out of his soul and into Arias. And then something unpredicted happened, he felt the light of his soul transferring over to him too. Lord knows what effect it'd have on him, out of panic he tried to withdraw it back, but instead he began to take not only his own soul back, but also Arias' dark soul.
This not only made him panic more, but it was also immensely painful. Trying his best to focus, he attempted to transfer the dark soul back to Arias, and once again he transferred both dark and light. Only now, he couldn't tell which was which. Taking both their souls into his own being seemed to mix them together.
Strangely he no longer felt any discomfort, even stranger he seemed to feel more comfortable. Peering at their souls, he saw they not only looked the exact same, but had conjoined during the process. This made them the first ever beings of both light and dark, and one of the few to fuse a soul.
Thankfully it seemed to have no unfortunate consequences. It even felt oddly appropriate.
Arias lifted his eyes slowly. The burning pain seemed to be gone now. Relieved, he also noted that he felt slightly warmer than usual. He felt like he'd slept for an eternity. Getting up, it was pitch black. Looked like he'd really lost. Though he wanted to know, how was it that he felt perfectly fine, he didn't feel like he'd died at all, rather, it was like he'd finally gotten to rest after everything. But was he really deserving of that rest, if he'd failed?
Rubbing his eyes, they soon adapted slightly to the darkness of the world, he recognized now that he was in fact in Firelink shrine, not the kiln. Beside him was a faded bonfire and... he struggled to make it out in such darkness but it looked like a broadsword.
Leaning down, he touched to confirm and indeed it was a broadsword. Not his preferred fighting style but it'd do for now. As his eyes adjusted more, he noticed something different with his armor. There were wrappings all over it, and surcoat was full of holes and tears. Of course, it'd taken quite the beating in that fight. But the question still remained, what happened in between then and his waking up now?
Looking around, he thought about what to do next. He could go back to the kiln to see if there were any clues of what happened to him, or maybe he could go search for Gwyndolin.
Gwyndolin... He missed him already.
He looked at his hand in regret. After all that he'd failed. Was it really worth leaving if this was the result? He should've just stayed with him, hell he was damn near blind as it was now with the flame faded.
He heard something crunch nearby and he turned in panic, quickly readying his broadsword. He was greeted by a figure wearing a white dress, with snakes for feet and a beautiful gold crown adorning it's head. He couldn't believe his eyes.
"Gwyndolin?"
"Arias! Thou'rt awake!"
Gwyndolin dropped something and rushed over to him, quickly taking him into a tight embrace. Arias was shocked, his mouth wide open, but as he processed what was happening, he eased up and hugged back.
"I was worried when thou wouldst not open thine eyes for so long. But I had confidence thou would'st wake again some day. Thou'st always been resilient." He chirped happily.
"H-How long have I been asleep?" Arias asked, slightly worried.
"I can not be sure, it seemed so long though it could very well have been only a week." Gwyndolin admitted, thinking that he may have perhaps been overdramatic about the wait.
"Oh, well that's good." Arias sighed, relieved he hadn't missed years.
"I'm just so happy thou'rt awake. I missed thee so much." Gwyndolin sounded as though he was almost on the verge of tears.
"I... I missed you too." Arias said, hugging him tighter, though much to his surprise Gwyndolin hugged him tighter than even he was after he said this.
"Please... don't leave me again." Gwyndolin whined. Arias was silent for a minute, he hadn't taken into consideration just how much his leaving would effect Gwyndolin.
"Never." He stated, like it was fact. They hugged in silence for another minute or two before Gwyndolin finally let him go.
"Sorry, I'st gotten ahead of mineself. There is quite a lot going through mine mind at the moment as I'm sure thou understands." Gwyndolin said, backing up and giving Arias a bit of breathing room.
"Of course." Arias replied. Gwyndolin smiled at him with a grin so wide it spread from ear to ear, and Arias couldn't help but smile back.
"Ah right, I found a scabbard for thy sword, give me a minute I shall go retrieve it. Go on and take a seat by the bonfire." Gwyndolin told him, slithering off to get what he'd dropped which was apparently a scabbard.
Arias walked back over the the dead bonfire and took a seat by the cold coiled sword. Sighing, he looked at sword now in his hands, and the armor he wore. His surcoat was ripped up, barely even recognizable, though it still clung resiliently to his armor, wrapped in cloth and bandages.
Gwyndolin soon returned, carrying a blue and sliver scabbard, it looked to be a perfect fit. He handed it to him and took a seat beside him, letting him sheathe the sword before speaking.. It wasn't long before the question came up.
"What happened?"
Gwyndolin took a deep breath, it was painful to recall.
He told him how he'd travelled to the kiln soon after he left, how he fought past all the black knights himself, and how he traversed to fog to see Arias a few breaths away from death, a greatsword positioned above his heart to bring that death to him.
He recognized him, Gwyn, his father, though a mere husk of himself. Scars of their battle adorned him, a hilt sheathed in his right eye, and shards of moonlight buried in his flesh. He didn't want to do it, but if he stopped there, he'd lose everything, possibly even his own life. So he notched three arrows, and let them go. His aim was true and put a swift end to the lord of cinder.
Then he told him that he'd healed Arias as the flame faded, but didn't mention the flame inside of him.
"I'm so sorry." Arias said as he finished the story.
"Hmm?" Gwyndolin hummed, slightly confused.
"That you, had to kill your own father." He clarified.
"Oh... Yes of course... I... I do not know how I feel about it as of yet. Gwyn was mine father, and mine goal for so many years was his approval but.. now so much has changed, I do not know if I agree with father anymore, or want his approval. And of course in his state, it was mostly a mercy killing. Though I admit it still.. hurt." Gwyndolin spoke, his voice bleak. As he finished he looked to the coiled sword, and Arias saw tear roll down his cheek.
Arias opened his mouth to say some comforting words but was interrupted by Gwyndolin.
"But, I'st managed to make peace with it over this last week. I am ready to move on now, from mine old life, into a new one, with thee." He leaned back, wiping the tear from his face, and turning his gaze to Arias.
Gwyndolin seemed different now, more confident in his words, picking himself up when he was down. He smiled warmly and extended a hand to Arias.
"What of thee?"
Arias was silent for a moment. He couldn't forget what he'd done but, after everything that has happened, he found himself unable to turn him down.
"I think I'm ready too." He smiled back, taking Gwyndolin's hand. Without another word, Gwyndolin pulled him into a warm hug, the two finally embracing one another again after what felt so long.
Gwyndolin wouldn't tell him of what happened with their soul, not yet, it would be too overwhelming for him after just waking up. For now that would be hidden, but he wouldn't hide it forever, just until he was ready.
As their hug went on, Gwyndolin moved his right arm away from it, instead using it to take hold of Arias' left hand. Then leaned away for a minute, only to lean in and kiss him deeply, a kiss Arias was very willing to accept. As he did, he intertwined his fingers with Arias', and gently pushed him onto his back.
They laid like that all night, comforted by their sweet embrace.
The next day, they awoke to darkness again, though Arias was still having trouble seeing, Gwyndolin promised that he'd soon get used to it. Soon they would set out. Where to? They didn't know, but they had a feeling that they shouldn't stay stationary for too long, and besides, they would be fine to live an ever roving life if they were together.
Affixing the scabbard to his worn belt and sheathing his new sword, Arias could feel a freshness in the air, a true new beginning for the both of them.
A/N And with that, To see a Darkened Sun finally comes to a close, after a little over 7 months. It was a lot of work but I finally managed finish one of my fics lmao. I hope you enjoyed the multiple ending surprise. I already knew how the first one was going to go from the beginning, Dark souls is tragedy after all, but as I wrote it, I just couldn't bear to leave the two with such sad endings, so I started writing this ending and it ended up as the longest part yet, at around 5,200 words. Hope it wasn't too much. Feel free to pick and choose which one you want to be your headcanon ending, either the one that sticks closest to the actually in game lore or this one that deviates but has a nicer result. Also I might write more fics after this but who knows, I might not have any energy left over, I guess we'll just have to see.