Humanity's Strongest Woman

by xDollfie

In every empire, there is an epic era that defies the boundaries of time and immortalized itself in the history books. For mankind, an epic era they will never forget has finally emerged. The war between humanity and Titans has finally come to a head. Love cease to exist in a time like this, but they found it, and promised that it'll be worth it. Every stubborn inch of it [LEVIXOC]

39. A Soldier's Dream

Thank you guys for the feedback on the previous chapter! It helped me so much, I appreciate it! With this chapter, To Defy Destiny arc is completed. All chapter arcs are on my profile!

Since we are at RTS arc, there's a new cover art for HSW! It's drawn by apririnn! She did an amazing job!

Thank you 92 is half of 99 and blackbutler415 for giving me your opinion!

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Humanity's Strongest Woman by xDollfie

Chapter 35 — A Soldier's Dream

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Rousing from her slumber, Ida was first aware of the coolness of the air and its loamy fragrance. Then, she felt the warmth of someone's body against hers. For several seconds, she thought that she was dreaming. Blood rushed to her cheeks when the events of last night returned.

A quirk of a satisfied smile appeared upon her sleepy face when she tilted her head to gaze at Levi. He was fast asleep. Blissful warmth engulfed her. Ida wished that this precious moment would last forever, she was close to forgetting about the cruel world that they lived in.

The feeling of his slow rising chest. Her arms around his waist, his under her shoulders. It was such a simple thing to wake up to, what most couples expected to wake up to, yet this precious moment seemed to be a gift from God; a rare mercy that he'd granted.

It was a mercy that Ida knew she did not deserve, but she didn't care.

She wanted to dream anyway.

From the golden glow that trailed into the room, it was late into the morning, but Ida didn't feel any pressure to hurry. The world didn't seem so desolate and the memories of the tears that rocked the cabin yesterday had long disappeared. It was peaceful, blissful even.

Taking advantage of Levi's sleeping state, she moved her slender fingers up to his neck, to his shoulder, before migrating down to his biceps and further down his chest. Ida felt the butterflies quake in her stomach when she felt his muscles tighten at her every possessive touch.

She remembered Levi to be a fairly light sleeper, or at least she'd always assumed he was. Oluo had even told her that he had insomnia. But her memory never proved that to be true. Because whenever Levi slept around her, he always slept like the dead.

We're not at the headquarters and I'm not preparing for war, Ida thought stubbornly, forcing herself to relax. This is…

What was this, exactly?

A small voice in her head replied to her: a peaceful life that you dreamed about.

The corners of the lips lifted as a tranquil joy overwhelmed her. Yes surely, it was this.

It wasn't until she felt a hand grab her wrist and stop her fingers from roaming any further did she realize that Levi wasn't asleep as she thought he was. "Stop it, you damned brat. What do you think you're doing?"

Snapping her eyes opened, her frantic heart skipped. She was horrified to find that he was actually awake. Ida was set to instinctively propel out of the bed, until Levi held onto her wrist, grabbed her waist, and pinned her back to the bed.

His taut face peered down on her while the sun hovered into their bedroom, kissing the exposed area of his shoulder. Levi propped himself above her, his elbows on either side of her. Amused by her behavior, he smirked.

"A little too late to be acting shy, don't you think, Starke?"

"Shut up, Ackerman," Ida retaliated by shoving his shoulder, her combative side surging out of her. When Levi only raised a brow, she involuntarily shifted her gaze away. Her heart was pounding so hard she was sure it was about to pop out of her chest. "Why did you pretend that you were asleep?"

"Tch." Levi scoffed. "I wasn't pretending, you just assumed that I was."

She rolled her eyes at his weak retort. "Get off me, I'm hungry."

Levi seemed almost amused. "Why should I?"

Ida glared at him. The aftermath of a crazy night aside, she wasn't about to just lie down like a weakling and have him pick on her. "Unlike you, humanity's strongest, after last night a weak human like me will naturally be famished."

"Didn't seem that way a few seconds ago," Levi said simply in a monotone, dipping down, never kissing her yet attracting her lips like magnets. His warm breath lingered around her, enticing her further. Ida restrained herself when she saw that her lips were following his as his nose nipped hers. She could feel her lips yearning for his. No. It was burning for him.

Seconds passed by them staying that way. Ida had to wonder if Levi knew how much he drove her crazy.

"This has to be a dream…" she finally murmured, dazed. "This is torturous, Captain."

It was the first time where she felt her heartache when the words finally came out of her mouth. It felt like she had just fallen from cloud nine. Ida remembered why she was so hesitant about going on this road with him. How foolish it was for her to drown in her desires and completely forget the reality of the situation... to follow the commands of her body and her heart, instead of the rationale in her mind.

Levi and her… they would never work.

Everything was against them ever working out.

But even then, this situation was all she could ever ask for.

Could she be happy about this even though she knew all this?

"Torturous?" He scoffed. "You torture me," Levi deadpanned. He breathed in roughly. Now it was finally a courtship between a man and a woman. "Every day since we've met, you fucking torture me. I've never in my life held this little control."

Although there was need in his gaze, Ida saw that there was also annoyance. He didn't like that he was losing control. "You do know that any chance of us going back to the way things were pretty much shot to hell after last night, right?"

Levi grimaced. "You really know how to ruin the mood, don't you?" He eased himself away from her slightly. "Of course I knew that, brat."

"You do?" she asked dubiously.

Tempered anger dimmed in his narrowed eyes. "I thought I'd made my stance clear last night or was it too hard for you to comprehend?"

"Are you implying that I'm dumb?" she sassed, offended by this remark.

Levi hardened his face in defense. "I'm saying you're fretting over the stupidest of things."

Her anger escalated at his obliviousness. "Well forgive me sir, but you weren't the one who was heartlessly forsaken after begging some asshole to stay."

Even under the veil of thick sexual tension, Ida and Levi still managed to argue about the most ridiculous of things. Ida swallowed thickly. It was mixing with the irrefutable desire she had for Levi. Fire mixing with fire. But before she could get in a hot retort, Levi cut in.

"I made my choice, Ida," Levi said wearily, exasperation coating his every syllabus. Ida could tell that he wasn't enjoying the awkward position she was putting him in, but his expression also was laced with a twinge of vulnerability. "I don't know what else to do or how else to convince you otherwise, but I meant every damn thing I said last night."

Upon hearing that, Ida felt the blood from her intemperate fury still. In place of the anger, paranoid fear took hold instead, coiling in the pit of her stomach. Deciding that she would rather not discuss this sensitive topic now, Ida steered the conversation elsewhere. "We should go have breakfast."

She tried to get up, but Levi wasn't intending to let her go. He pushed her back down, and he dipped down, his breath gliding along her earlobe, leaving Ida much weaker in his hold than she wanted to be.

"You'd have to wait longer for breakfast."

So… Ida mentally scoffed. Levi could be this forward.

Ida had to admit that she liked it, and there was no possible way that she could resist him.

Blurred with nothing but need, Ida wrapped her arms firmly around his neck, pulled herself up, and then violently pushed his back against the headboard of their bed. A loud thud sounded when the back of Levi's head collided with their bed frame. Instead of screaming out in pain, Levi's countenance merely contorted in approval.

She leaned in and dove her lips for his and instantly felt a tsunami of pleasure overtake her. "I always did say that you were a certified slave-driver, Captain."

"I'll be sure to overwork you then, Starke," he rasped in between their ardor kisses.

Suddenly, the world was a kaleidoscope for Ida — a kaleidoscope of heat, desire, passion, and most importantly, pleasure.

If this was a dream, Ida never wanted to wake up. She'd think about the consequences later, for now, Ida wanted to dream irrationally. Their lips parted, and his kiss consumed her. She was completely and utterly lost in a world of ecstasy. Her heart was soaring. She forced herself to ignore the fear in her stomach, because if Levi was going to make compromises to be together, then so would she.

However foolish this looked, Ida loved it, and she knew Levi did too — they loved how love makes them crazy and irrational. They loved how love takes them out of the control seat and forces them to commit things their rational selves would never do.

They say that love was a wild journey, right from the start till the very end.

After all, why do people put themselves through the pain and reward themselves with satisfaction? As the world's favorite sentiment, love wanes as emotional clutter, mental baggage, and spiritual kernel, but was it to say that it wasn't worth it? Ida would argue then that love stories in its entirety and essences, gives people hope too. Love stories give hope to humans that there was a fraction of perfection in this cruel world.

And dreams were the echoes of hope.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

It was a strange sight.

His stale heart's greatest desire was right in front of him, happily tucking into a piece of bread, and yet all Levi could think about was whether he deserved to feel as happy as he was now. Happiness had never come easy to him, especially after all that he had been through.

And even now in the aftermath of their passion and their love, as Levi stared at Ida, he could not help but vision her cold and bloodied, her corpse wrapped up in a brown sheet. He had never thought of himself as a greedy person, but now — even after he was assaulted by the images of her death — he still wanted her by his side no matter the circumstances.

If this wasn't fucking greed, then Levi didn't know what was.

"Levi?" Ida peered up from her meal curiously, smiling. "Why are you not eating?"

He said nothing and continued with his meal. But this small piece of light that was her was worth the risk — it was worth everything. If she was by his side, he could protect her.

She was worth it all; the human embodiment of his dreams and hope.

And Levi knew innately that for anything worth it, it was never gained easily.

"Quickly finish your meal," he said flatly when he saw that she still wasn't done. "It's a few hours back to Trost, I have got a fuck ton of shitty work piled up. We should leave soon."

At this statement, Ida paused mid-chew. With deliberate slowness, she dropped her bread down to her plate and sipped her tea coolly. When she was done, she faced him, her expression now guarded.

"I don't want to go back just yet," she brought the matter up tepidly.

He frowned at the trepidation emanating from her. His eyes swirled with questions. "Winter solstice break is over today, all soldiers are required to report back in," he reminded her, a low growl following when she didn't bulge. "Stop being a shitty brat and pack up, we can't afford to be lazing around."

"And if I don't?" Ida rose from her seat, a calm challenge glinting in her stare. "Are you going to order me to? Or perhaps, you'll even force me back?"

Levi bristled inwardly, trying hard to suppress his irritation, but his features contorted into a scowl nevertheless. It was undeniable that Ida stirred something up inside him. It pissed him off to admit it, but that fact was, Ida always had a way to somehow get under his skin.

"Suit yourself," he said forcibly through gritted teeth. "I'll go ahead—"

"You're staying with me," Ida interjected, crossing her arms. "We deserve a break, more than anyone, we have more than enough off-days. We didn't even use up our annual leaves. I'm not saying we should leave the Survey Corps, just that we should stay for a few more days."

Few more days? This was worse than he imagined. Levi grimaced, already actively plotting a way to reason with her. But he knew it was futile. Ida was a stubborn and prideful individual. If she set her mind to something, there was no forcing her otherwise.

Levi felt rising incredulity creeping up on his visage and from her expression, he knew that Ida understood that he thought of her irresponsible proposition to be absolutely ridiculous. "You're suggesting we go AWOL? You know what an important time this is—"

"And?" Ida snapped. "We deserve this. A short break wouldn't hurt. Unless the Titans have invaded the Walls, I'm not going back yet."

Even though Levi saw it coming, he couldn't control the unscrupulous dread that formed in his chest. Accompanying it was a pit of fear in his stomach. He hated the word 'Titan', and he hated it more that Ida was the one mentioning it. Because it was a reminder of his duty.

A reminder of why he was so hesitant with moving forward with Ida in the first place.

Ida stepped away and walked to the bedroom, before she could slip inside, she stopped by the doorframe. "Levi, if only for a little while, we should think for ourselves. It has been a month and the Walls hasn't been invaded yet, and you know the enemy won't. I know it's impetuous of me to do something like this, but we're selfish humans before we are soldiers. We deserve to take a break too, after all this might be the last chance we have."

Without waiting for a reply, Ida angrily slammed the bedroom door behind her, leaving Levi to nurse with his sudden influx of emotions alone. He bitterly muttered a string of curses underneath his breath, the full weight of what had transpired suddenly seeming to materialize on his shoulders. It had been niggling at the back of his mind since he woke up, but he had managed to push it aside until now.

It didn't matter what occurred this morning or the night before, duty continued to prevail over his selfish needs, but it was different for Ida. She was willing to forsake it all for him, and this fact alone was enough for her to justify that they didn't belong together. He didn't deserve her.

This very moment proved it.

Levi knew that it was irresponsible to leave the Survey Corps at a moment like this — and yet, contrary to his firm beliefs, he couldn't help but... agree with what Ida said.

Who knows what might happen when the time comes for the Survey Corps to retake Wall Maria?

"Fucking woman," he grouched angrily, exercising his jaw.

He had foolishly forgotten about her powers over him — how she could effectively drive him crazy and yet make him burn with so much passion and longing a moment later. Levi detested how much hold she had over him. He hated how differing their beliefs were and he abhorred how much she challenged him, and yet, Levi knew innately that she was his soul in all.

And try as he might, he could not abandon his soul.

He would never admit it out loud but he was sure Ida knew, as she always did when it came to him; he had just gotten her back to his side — as frustrating as she was — he could not let her go.

Levi shook his head as a small 'tch' escaped him. It was all such a fucking mess. Why hadn't he known it wouldn't be as simple as taking her back to his side? When had anything in his life ever been straightforward? Even more so, when had he ever been granted even the smallest slice of pleasure without it being followed by a fuckload of pain...?

A plethora of annoyance skated through him as pondered over his dilemma. Levi shut his eyes in silent anger when he came to terms with his feelings.

His fingers curled shut. Ah damn it.

Maybe, if it was just once, it'd be fine if he chose her.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

She couldn't concentrate on her novel, aggravated by the thoughts of her previous argument.

Fuck this. Levi frustrated her more than anyone else in the world. Ida miserably realized how much she hated him with a burning passion. Granted, her hatred was minimized by the fact that she knew she was behaving immaturely.

She had always known that this duty was more important to Levi than anything else. It was just that, in the course of all that had happened between them, she thought his priorities might've changed. It was a silly hope on a silly girl's part, but Ida couldn't lie to herself that she didn't fear going back to the Survey Corps too.

Because what if… things changed between them? Ida could hardly believe the verity of the new status of their relationship, surely her fears weren't that unfounded. Was it too much to ask to just dream for just a while longer till she was ready to return to reality?

Ida exhaled audibly, angrily flipping another page. Maybe this relationship that they had was just as crazy as it looked.

It had been two hours since Ida had retreated to the bedroom. By now, she guessed that Levi had already left. She tipped her head back in misery. She had always known Levi could never prioritize her above humanity and yet the fact that he left was like a slap in the face to her.

And it stung.

Ida closed her book, tempering her anger. Damn it. She should've gotten used to this already. It was always like this with them, the same routine, the same patterns, the same arguments. But what right did she have to be angry about this now? She was well aware of this fact even before she fell in love with him.

"What are you doing?"

Ida hurled her best death glare at Levi by the door. She had not heard him come in. She was surprised to see him, but she wasn't about to show it.

"Cursing my jackass of a Captain," she scowled, flipping open her book again.

There was the barest flicker of a smirk on his lips before Levi sat on the bed in front of her. Ida jolted slightly but she kept her searing glare at him, hoping to perforate a few holes through him. "Why are you here then? I thought you left, what were you doing?"

Ida had thought Levi was here to ask her to return to the headquarters, but then he said something else that completely baffled her.

"Cleaning," he answered her coldly. Levi appraised her with a cold look, an eyebrow barely arched. "There's no way in hell I'm staying in this run-down cabin given the pathetic state it was in."

Her eyes expanded as she gaped at him.

Impossible, she thought incredulously. Was she dreaming? Did Levi actually agree with her irrational and irresponsible suggestion? Though it was impossibly absurd, Ida could've sworn this meant that he was staying here with her.

She would never in a million years think that Levi would agree to such an irresponsible thing, but she had to try. Truthfully, Ida had expected the rejection. She was close to packing up and following him back to the headquarters a moment ago when she determined he had already left.

Lost in a daze, it became clear to Ida that the impossible had occurred: Levi was truly there in front of her.

Did he choose her…?

She forced a scoff from her throat, feigning anger. Contrary to her physical expression, Ida was giddy with happiness.

"You should leave, Humanity's strongest," Ida growled sarcastically, going back to her book. "Humanity needs you and here you're cleaning out of all things."

Levi snatched the book off her and grabbed her wrist, tugging her roughly towards him. Her face was barely an inch away from him and she held his glare without flinching.

"And whose fault do you think that is, cadet?" Levi snarled, his eyes narrowing down fiercely.

Even though his expression was hostile, Ida could tell from his tone that he wasn't truly angry, just a little irritated perhaps and it only made her want to tease him more — she hated him, and it would do her some good to see him suffer.

"Cadet?" she repeated with humor. "Well… we can go back to the Captain-subordinate role now if that's what you want, sir."

"Tch." Levi scoffed indignantly, a vein throbbing in his forehead. He was just about to say something scathing when Ida moved forward and placed a finger on his lips.

Ida smirked, triumphant that she was right. As different as they were, he was the same as her when it came to each other, Levi was just as blinded. He was just a fool around her, just as how she was a fool around him. For two soldiers who were so respected and revered, they were foolishly blind when it came to each other.

As much as they infuriated each other to no end, they were the only ones capable of understanding one another. In front of each other, they were laid bare, stripped of their titles and uniform, as though they weren't capable of ripping monstrous beasts or possess such an immeasurable power.

This feeling was euphoric and addictive because when they were together, they were nothing more than a simple human being; darkly honest, startlingly alive, and frighteningly weak.

But this also meant that they had the power to destroy each other or grant the most insane pleasure. However, Ida decided that she wouldn't change anything in their relationship.

She loved it, and she knew that he did too.

"I love you," she whispered. Levi stiffened at her confession, shocked. "I love you, Levi — so when you're around me, there's no need to pretend. I'll accept all of you, every monstrous bit, every single weakness, every single sin, and I won't give up any of you for the world."

Levi scoffed quietly, edging away from her finger on his lips.

He pressed his fingertips into his eyes, before pinching the bridge of his nose as he looked away. His heart was suddenly pounding. She was fucking crazy. This was fucking crazy. Even he must have gone crazy to agree to go missing in action with her. Love? The tiny annoying voice at the back of his head was telling him this warm feeling in his chest was transient, soon their dream would come to an end.

But even then, why did it feel like it was all he wanted to hear?

I've fallen too hard, thought Levi. He was truly lost. It had never hit him this early, never this hard. There was no looking back down — he loved her too, and if it was greed to want her by his side even though he knew he didn't deserve it, then Levi would willingly shoulder the sin.

Ida peered curiously at him, seeing that his teeth were in a tight grit. Oh, this is a new side of him. How cute.

"Hey, you have a cute girl confessing to you here," she teased playfully. "Aren't you going to say something back?"

"What a stupid irrational thing to say," Levi remarked evenly, still not meeting her gaze. Ida saw him swallowed hard as an awkward frown graced his stiff features.

She observed him knowingly and his scowl softened when he saw her amused expression.

When it appeared as though Levi was about to say something, he instead lifted up a hand and slowly rested it on her cheek. Every part of her body — every fiber, every atom — her very essence, they were all waiting in intense anticipation as if they all knew what was to come. She couldn't deny it and she knew then that Levi felt everything she was feeling. There were no words, but they were unleashing everything they had hidden from one another.

All that was left in Ida's presence was the feel of Levi's fingers on her cheek — stroking her, caressing her skin as he gazed at her with the same spellbound look. He was unyieldingly mesmerized with the breathing temptation before him. His eyes were vulnerable, genuine, and mesmerizing. He, himself, had never appeared more alluring for Ida than that very moment in time.

For the very first time in their lives, both Levi and Ida were left without witty words. The very tactical weapon they used against one another was rendered useless as the walls to their fragility cracked and disappeared. It was all gone now; the walls were crumbling. Their fragility was now, slowly but surely, being unleashed.

Levi leaned forward, their lips touching. There was no hunger in this kiss, just softness. She could taste herself on him, and surely the reverse was true, but that didn't matter, nothing mattered but Levi and his gentle lips.

And it was through his own language of love that Ida knew that he loved her too. There was no need for him to say it and Ida didn't need to hear it. She could feel it as it traveled through his touches, the tremors of his undying love that he reserved only for her passing through his fingertips and into every cell of her body.

After all, the most beautiful things were not seen or heard but felt.

Indeed, as infuriating as it was between them, Ida wouldn't change anything, because they were perfectly imperfect like this.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

When Ida had insisted that to stay at the cabin, Levi had expected that she had some plans of some sort. Maybe somewhere she wanted to go to, or something she wanted to do. Imagine his incredulity and disbelief when Ida simply stated that she had no plans.

"Seriously?" Levi had asked, his expression clearly showing that he found her proposition utterly absurd. "You want to do absolutely nothing?"

"Why not?" Ida had replied, quirking a brow. "You don't know what it is to relax, don't you? Being a full-time bum is a skill too, you know."

Frankly, the thought of being so unproductive was completely ridiculous to him, but the full impact of their new relationship had not quite hit him yet. Levi couldn't deny that he was curious about her offer, and it wasn't like he could not say no to her.

And so, they dismissed Iris — the lady tending the farmland — and spent every waking minute together insolation. They ate simple meals and returned to bed, bodies writhing, breaths spent, and hearts utterly misplaced. Sometimes, they wandered out of the cabin, basking in the sun in the isolated farmland, and spoke about the most mundane of things. Things that didn't involve their usual conversation of saving mankind, strategies, or the shadowing pain they both felt. When night came, they would sit by the fireplace, in each other's arms with a cup of tea in silence, content with just the presence and heartbeats of each other.

It was such a simple lifestyle that it astounded Levi how easily they had adapted to it. It was as if there wasn't a vicious war raging just outside the cabin and they weren't two of the most valuable assets in humanity's fight for freedom. The four walls of the cabin were their safe harbor, their protection from the war. It felt so incredibly natural, almost as if they weren't running from their responsibility.

Each time the bleak reminder of his duties and responsibilities surfaced, Levi would only hammer it down. It was absolutely irrational on his part, but Ida's presence and promises had completely drained his rationale.

Because for once, in a very long time, he felt peaceful.

As the mundane days passed, Levi finally admitted to himself, what he had not allowed his thoughts to linger throughout all these years serving in the Survey Corps. That this was the life that he'd wanted for so long. The feeling of waking up in the morning unburdened both mentally and physically. A woman who loved him unconditionally sleeping in his arms. Content, peaceful, and…

Happy…?

Dare he think it? Someone like him, feeling happiness? But... when had he been granted happiness without pain?

Levi was miserably trailing behind an enthusiastic Ida, watching her walk towards a vendor with a bounce in her steps. But if this wasn't happiness, then what was?

He was far away from his god-forsaken stacks of paperwork, far away from the meetings and plans of the Survey Corps, and yet, Levi felt that he belonged here, right by her side. It was incredibly selfish, Erwin would've been looking for them by now, but even then…

Ida waved him over, snapping him out of his thoughts. "They have apples here, should we get some?"

At her call, Levi mentally sighed, throwing those thoughts in a deep dark corner of his subconscious before it could manifest further. He knew that this tranquility was temporary. Sooner or later, they would have to go back, but he didn't have quite the words to convince Ida to return yet.

"I'm fine with anything," Levi said evenly, watching as Ida picked through the produce. After depleting the farmland of whatever available rations they had, they realized they had no choice but to venture out to a nearby district for a restock.

"Mhm," Ida hummed thoughtfully. "Alright, I'll get some potatoes as well. How does stew sound? We need to get some tea leaves too."

She looks so happy, Levi thought sullenly, watching her. The image of Ida in a simple dress with a hooded cloak to hide the color of her hair, in the marketplace with a small basket grappled his thoughts.

She doesn't seem out of her fucking element, as if… she fits in…

Try as he might, the sour thoughts continued to manifest, and Levi felt conflicted. This was the life he was denying Ida if he brought her back to the Survey Corps. The idea of denying Ida this simple lifestyle she dreamed about was enough to make him want to wretch.

"Hurry up," he barked. "We should get back soon."

She pouted. "But I want to see the Ehrmich District a little more."

"You two are not from here, are you?" The vendor said, drawing both of their attention. She smiled kindly. "I haven't seen you here before, but you two look strangely familiar, have we met before perhaps?"

"Familiar?" Ida parroted, confused.

Then she gasped, holding onto his sleeve.

"What?" Levi frowned at her behavior. Ida looked shocked. He trailed their line of vision, only to see the two wanted posters of them pasted at the wall behind the vendor. Fuck. Levi had forgotten about those posters that the monarchy had distributed in Wall Sina during the coup.

"We're merchants! We settled down in farmland nearby recently!" Ida suddenly said, linking her arm with him. She grinned nervously. "This is my husband!"

Levi snapped his incredulous glare to her. His jaw slackened. Husband? Was Ida out of her fucking mind?

"Oi, what the hell are you saying, brat— shit!" Levi stopped talking when Ida pinched him, throwing him a quick glare that said: play along or you'll regret it.

Half-moon marks appeared on his forearm from the pinch of her nails. Levi mentally groaned. Great. He figured why Ida was doing this. Erwin had probably sent men to look for them by now, she didn't want to get caught.

"We recently got married so he's not used to it yet," Ida explained with a forced smile. She turned to him, the side of her lips twitching in a silent warning. "Isn't that right, honey?"

Levi had to forcibly hold in his grimace. If it wasn't for her silent warning, he was sure he would've gawked at her in pure bewilderment. This was absolutely ridiculous. Settling with a neutral explanation, he turned to the vendor. "Yeah."

The vendor clasped her mouth, nodding in understanding. He had thought his expression was quite stoic, but it mustn't have been the case, because the vendor looked uncomfortable when she met his eyes.

"Newlyweds, huh?" The vendor chuckled nervously. "You... two lovebirds suit each other."

Ida nodded, the plastered fake smile still on her face. "Could we get some potatoes and apples?"

"I'll go walk around," Levi stated coldly, removing Ida's arm from him. "Make it quick."

Before she could say anything, he walked off.

His head began to ache as long-buried feelings threatened to resurface, and suddenly it was as though a pair of lifeless emerald eyes were on him again, burning holes into his soul.

God damn it. Levi gritted his teeth as he remembered his curt words to her. He had thought he would relish in the silence of his own company, yet he found it difficult to drown out the earlier conversation with Ida.

What the fuck was he doing, playing pretend out of all things now? Marriage? Out of the question. Levi had never entertained the thoughts of settling down or marriage out of all things. He was a military man, and always would be.

But if by some rare chance, if both Ida and he survived right till the end of this war. What then? His subconscious went back to the time where Ida had stated that she would be content even if she was a farmer's wife, how she dreamt of having a simple life with children.

A grimace spread to his face. He had already claimed her as his and he had committed himself to her as a steady lover, shouldn't he at least owe it to her… to consider it? To consider an alternative future that wasn't bleak, bloodied, and brutal?

From his peripheral vision, Levi spotted their wanted portraits plastered on the walls again. Ida was right, he thought sourly, recalling how she had once complained about it. They did look terrible in it. Levi tucked his hands in his pockets and sighed.

Has it really been that long since the coup?

His heart wretched painfully when the sudden mental image of Ida's lying on the stone-cold floor of Reiss chapel materialized. The haze within the recesses of his chest was returning. Levi was about to turn around to find her, but the sudden appearance of two Military Police soldiers walking towards him caught his attention before he could.

Perfect shitty timing, he cursed. They would recognize him without a doubt.

"Levi," Ida called from behind him. "Are you okay? I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable—"

"Put your hood back on," Levi hissed, realizing that she had taken off her hood. "The MPs are approaching."

"Is that why you're putting your head down so much?" Ida raised a brow. "Don't worry, no one would recognize us."

"You're the one who wanted to go on leave without proper authorization," Levi reminded her, still taking glances at the approaching pair of Military Police. "Contrary to what you might think, the last thing I want is to get caught by those damn pigs, anyone would be better than those bastards."

Instead of getting angry like Levi had expected her to, Ida only chuckled with humor and grabbed his hand, dragging them towards the direction of the approaching Military Police. "Trust me. Just don't look at them directly and keep walking."

Levi wanted to ask her if she was insane. This would never work. His appearance was well-known throughout the military. Ida might've chosen to remain secluded, hardly ever attending meetings unless necessary, but Levi, on the other hand, had diligently attended every Military summit over his years in service. His title of Humanity's strongest had not only brought him prestige but curiosity and reverence from the other branches. Not to mention, their fucking wanted posters.

He was prepared to bolt into a dark alley, but then they crossed paths with the Military police soldiers and the most bizarre thing happened. To Levi's utter bewilderment, the officers simply continued walking, engrossed in a conversation with each other.

What the hell?

"See, I told you," Ida said with triumph after they were a good distance away. They stopped at the market square's fountain, and she turned to face him. "You know, I realized something ever since I talked to the vendor."

"Realized what?"

"That the Levi Ackerman and Ida Starke only exist in people's minds as something else." He could feel her hidden sadness as she said this. "In these peoples' minds, we only exist with our weapons, our uniforms, and our green cloaks with the wings of freedom on top of horses. People tend to see things only within their narrow range of possibilities. They'd never expect us to be in civilian wear, roaming down the marketplace buying potatoes out of all things."

She met his gaze, smiling so radiantly, Levi felt his heart stop. "But right now, we aren't the Levi Ackerman and Ida Starke of the Survey Corps, we aren't the reluctant heroes, we are just…"

"Human," Levi finished for her, frowning.

"Just a man," she supplied, raising her eyes to meet his. The grip on his hand grew tighter. "And just a woman."

Silence slipped between them as Levi took a moment to consider her words. His eyes scoured around the scene before them; civilians ambling the streets, a few Garrison soldiers to the corner, vendors shouting out their wares. It was a common sight for an ordinary person, a sight that he accustomed whenever he went out to town, but now it left him strangely breathless.

No one recognized him, and truth to be told, this feeling was strangely exhilarating.

Because right now, he wasn't the revered war hero, he didn't have any heavy responsibilities, he wasn't humanity's strongest… he was just an average man.

Levi's gaze traveled back to Ida's face which still had a genuine smile on it. She was watching the surroundings around her, their fingers still interlocked. The hard expression on Levi's face softened when he realized something disturbingly paramount.

There was something to be celebrated about living moment-to-moment, not knowing what to expect, and not having a solid plan. If Levi wasn't lying, he loved it. Living like this was a weak form of freedom, aimless with no life goals or security, but it was freedom nonetheless. Levi wasn't ordered to physically maim anyone. He wasn't forced to pay attention to the way he behaved. He wasn't living for the sole purpose of fulfilling his duty. He had a choice now. Ida had shown him the choice.

He could choose to show his bare face to the world without having a mask to suffocate him.

And right now he was just a man, dressed in a simple white shirt and pants. Not a soldier. A man that was beside the woman he loved. This was the alternative future that he was so afraid of. Perhaps in that sense, he had let his fears get to him again and ultimately forgotten that he was already living it in.

Ida blinked when she noticed he was staring at her. "Hey… I'm sorry about the whole marriage thing, I panicked when I realized that the vendor might find out who we were, so if I made you uncomfortable—"

He cut her off when Levi suddenly cupped her cheek and leaned in. It was all impulse, but he allowed his emotions to lead him instead. Levi kissed her deeply, hoping to convey all that he could not with his shitty words.

This momentary liberation was a high that he would be forced to give up eventually, but Levi had grown quite brazen to the notion of personal freedom.

When Levi pulled away, Ida's face was completely flushed. "What are you doing?" she whispered, wiping her lips and looking away shyly. "We're in public."

Levi could understand her reaction. Ida was well-aware that other than their bedtime endeavors, he was a private person, and he rarely showed any other signs of affections outside of it. But then again, Levi argued with himself; they were not at the headquarters at the moment, they were not soldiers, they were… just a simple human being.

Perhaps in this sense, this forwardness was an impulse.

"Kissing my damned wife, apparently," Levi grumbled sarcastically before he could stop himself, and walked off. "Idiot."

"What?" he heard her speak, utterly flabbergasted with his behavior. Truthfully, Levi was shocked by his own behavior as well. He could hardly believe what came out of his stupid mouth.

Ida hurried beside him, staring suspiciously at his face as if a strange entity had replaced him. "Who are you and what have you done with my grumpy Captain?"

"Fuck off," Levi grimaced, not meeting her gaze.

However sarcastic he was, he could tell that Ida still found joy in teasing him. "Are you seriously playing around with me?" she gasped playfully, astonished. "Seriously? You'll even carry on with this childish charade? You, the stone-faced strict Captain?"

Levi mentally rolled his eyes. "You're annoying, brat."

A layer of softness touched her features. Ida was staring at his profile in a new light. He was doing something out of character — something vulnerable — and she respected that immensely.

Upon seeing her knowing smile, Levi looked away as if it would end the conversation. Fuck, he brooded, he knew she had seen through his apathetic charade. How stupid. Levi was cursing himself when Ida's small hands suddenly interlocked with his.

"What are you doing?" Levi demanded. They were now holding hands as they walked down the streets.

Her hands went to her mouth as she tried to stifle her giggle. Ida shrugged, feigning cluelessness. "Holding hands with my husband apparently."

Levi's lips curled up slightly at her flippant remark, amused. "This is beyond lame, never thought you had it in you."

"Right?" Ida's musical voice rang with humor. "We should stop, it's getting so cheesy I might just puke."

Levi snorted in amusement but offered no words in reply. Instead, he took a moment to gaze at her silently. How lovely Ida looked. That familiar lump of emotion rose in his throat, always seeming to threaten to spill over, but never manifesting in words.

It just sat there, choking him, as he stared at her.

He squeezed his fingers around hers.

No, Levi didn't want it to stop. Not yet. He hadn't had enough of this yet. He wanted to feel alive. He wanted to dream.

Because currently, they were living in freedom's weakest and most irrelevant form.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

"This is absurd."

"We came here to have fun, Levi."

"Everyone is pissed off drunk and noisy as hell."

"This is the daily life of a civilian, so suck it up and stop being a wet blanket."

"Tch. Daily life? This damned filthy place is a den full of fucking thugs."

"Would you rather we mingle with the pigs in fancy clothes then? You speak as though you weren't a thug yourself in the past. Plus, there's no way anyone would recognize us here!"

Levi kept quiet after that, grumbling his discontent underneath his breath. Disbelief edged him. He could never understand why he allowed Ida to drag him around like this. Granted, he supposed that his affections for her were the reason why. Levi had never cursed his attachment for Ida as much as when she had suggested they go out to the bar out of all things.

And god damn, did Levi hate it here.

He abhorred noisy places like this more than anything.

Levi might be a dedicated soldier, but even he knew when to admit defeat. Ida was just as stubborn as he was when it came to getting what she wanted. Still, when Levi had relented he hadn't expected the damned brat to drag them to a bar at South Aachen Avenue, one of the shadiest areas in the Wall Sina located far away from the city patrol routes.

An annoyed hiss passed through his lips as he glared at the inhabitants of the bar for the night. Big burly men, black market merchants clearly involved in illegal trading, and lowlifes of fucking society. Levi migrated his death glare to Ida who was seated beside him, smiling breezily with her ale as if she wasn't in a dangerous place.

Fuck him, and his stupid emotions. Why could he never, ever reject Ida and her annoying shenanigans? That brat was always up to no good.

"Will you stop glaring at me?" Ida jerked her finger at him. "I told you, this type of place is the best area to earn some money!"

"Tch. Look at you," Levi scoffed, his resentment still very much intact. "You're one of the richest people within the Walls and you're resorting to demeaning ways of earning money. Ridiculous."

Ida only appraised him with a sheepish smile which made his anger subside slightly. Levi was having a hard time absorbing the baffling situation. Over the last two weeks living in the cabin, they had almost depleted whatever money they had. Worse, Ida adamantly refused to go to the banks to withdraw, arguing that they might get spotted by someone in the Survey Corps, and instead opted for more unconventional means of earning money.

But that was the least of Levi's problems. For some reason beyond him, being here irked him. He didn't like how there were hardly any other females in the bar, and he had caught a few patrons eyeing at Ida like she was the rarest specimen they've seen.

Levi had felt the pangs of jealousy before. For foolish things really; Ida laughing and chatting with the other male soldiers in the mess hall; a lingering glance from Seth Fischer in her direction. He had never voiced it aloud openly, of course.

Somehow, though, this was different. The sickening knot of jealousy in the pit of his stomach was much more intense. The anger he felt wasn't for some shallow thing. It was the anger of losing the very idea of her, and what she represented to him now.

His Ida, and his to look at alone.

The question was, how was he going to get Ida out of this shitty place? Or should he just make it a point to ignore this sickening feeling, like he always did?

At this thought, he migrated his eyes back to her. Damn, she really was beautiful.

Levi sighed as he slumped back against the chair, pulling his hood lower over his features. Fuck emotional conflict.

"Remember Levi," Ida's low voice drew him away from his contemplative state. "We should just lay low, we can't afford to get into any big troubles that would alert the Military Police."

"Whatever," he dismissed tiredly, irritation lining his expression.

"Promise me that you'll keep your temper in check."

"What do you think I'll do?" Levi cocked a brow upon hearing the accusation in her voice. "Start a fucking brawl in a filthy dingy bar?"

Ida didn't answer, but her silence was confirmation enough. He scoffed. Contrary to Ida's apprehension, Levi had no plans in getting into a fight with the scum of society. From his peripheral view, he observed the rowdy inhabitants of the bars with a passive distaste — there seemed to be some sort of event going on by the other end of the rowdy bar.

Tch, how noisy.

"I'll go get some more drinks for us!" Ida chriped, getting off the table.

"Oops!" she exclaimed when she accidentally bumped into a patron. "Sorry, mister!"

"Whoa slow down there sweetcakes." The stranger gave her a once over. "What is a fine little woman like you doing at my run down bar?"

Ida smiled awkwardly. "You're the owner?"

Levi's nostrils flared. Annoyed with the wonder all the men found in Ida, he shot the man a glare that spoke of nothing but fury. Why the hell was she smiling like that?

The man gave her a sly grin. "Yeah, the name is Leon."

It seemed that Ida had finally noticed his grim expression when she cast a cautious glance at him. "I'm here with my husband," she introduced, clearly wanting to convey her status across.

So fuck off already, Levi spat sourly his head, damning the bastard to hell.

"Husband?" Leon repeated, folding his arms. He threw a swift disinterested glance at Levi's direction. "Ya married?"

Ida nodded. Though she was still smiling, Levi could now see the traces of anxiety that outlined her expression. At least the brat knew how to be afraid now.

The vile grin on Leon's face grew wider, and Levi thought he saw a touch of challenge in his eyes. "Well, it doesn't mean that you can't talk with others—"

It took Levi just a second to get off his seat when he saw Leon outstretched hand reaching towards Ida. "Who do you think you're touching—"

"N — No thank you!" Ida yelped, overpowering Levi's low warning. She edged away before Leon could touch her. "It's fine!"

She cast a quick glare at Levi's direction, and the message was clear as day: sit down and stop causing trouble.

Upon seeing this, a derisive scoff escaped him. That damned brat. Levi clenched his fists. Anger throbbed inside him. It wasn't right. That lowlife bastard was taunting him, and it made his blood simmer. His eyes flared. Levi was tempted to propel towards him and give that jackass a piece of his mind. However, knowing better, he kept his mouth shut and reluctantly settled back in his seat.

Having settled the silently seething Captain, Ida turned her attention back to the owner. "Anyways, do you know what's going on there?"

She pointed to the other side of the bar where a crowd of rowdy patrons gathered. Levi dragged his gaze there. The crowd of patrons were now cheering. A small part had form in the crowd, and Levi realized that it was an arm-wrestling competition. Shit. He didn't like where this was headed.

Don't fucking tell me...

"Oh, ya interested in things like that?" Leon laughed. "We are collecting bets."

"Next challenger!" The host shouted, his loud voice thundering into the bar. "Or are there no challengers left?!"

Leon pointed to the extremely muscular bald man in a tank top standing beside the host. His strong arms were crossed against his chest, which was puffed out in unbridled pride.

"That's Buffy, he was the winner of last year's strength competition," Leon shared. "If ya interested, ya could ask your midget-sized hubby over there to participate, though I'm guessing he won't go far."

For a tense second, silence occupied the table. Midget-sized, huh? Levi's lips curled into a bemused smirk. "Oh?"

The galls of this fool.

"So whatcha say, shortie?" Leon taunted, smirking. "Your wife here wants to see you participate."

Ida looked like she was about to say something, but Levi beat her to it.

"Tch." He scowled, folding his arms against his chest. Levi glared at him condescendingly. "No, I've better things to do than to dirty my damn hands touching someone."

Leon jutted his chin up. "Ya afraid, lil man?"

Ida stiffened, her expression turning anxious when she noticed how Levi was close to losing all shred of what little patience he had. "H — Hey—"

Levi only ignored Ida as his lips bent into an amused smirk. That fucking fool. "She will participate on my behalf instead."

In that instance, both Leon and Ida gaped at Levi when he said that, but they saw nothing but the same amused smirk layering his striking face.

"What?" Leon was befuddled at his suggestion.

Despite Ida's shocked stature, Levi knew better. Being the competitive hothead Ida was, this meant that Ida would never say no to a 'challenge'. Levi was certain that Ida knew exactly what was going on in his head without the need for a single word exchanged.

And it seemed that Levi was right with his predictions because soon enough, Ida's expression slowly morphed from shock to the same arrogant smirk that he was used to seeing in the past.

"Sure, bring it on," Ida agreed haughtily. Her face said it all: she was hyped about this idea.

Leon gawked at her with open-mouthed confusion. He slowly took in her petite form. "Hey lady, that is no sport for a chick like you, why don't you ask—"

"If big old Buffy over there can't defeat me, then he has no chance against him," Ida stated nonchalantly, already making her way over to the host.

It took awhile for Leon to snap out of his mystified state. "Hey lady—"

"Oi," Levi's voice vibrated with steel, causing the owner to flinch. He threw a heavy bag of coins on the table, and crossed his arms back with impatience, leaning back on his seat. "My bet."

The sight of money was enough to call on Leon's attention. He took it eagerly. "On Buffy?"

Levi smirked and stared at the owner with a supercilious air. "On my wife."

"We have a new contender!" The host declared loudly. "Please step forward!"

Taking a confident step towards the bar table where Buffy was, Ida could feel the disbelief stares that she was getting from the onlookers, but she paid it no mind. Her heart thumped in her chest with adrenaline when she had a good view of her competitor. He was huge, extremely muscular, and he was about two heads taller than her.

"Wait, it's a woman?"

"Buffy is going to wreck her."

"Look at how tiny she is."

Ida grinned, feigning coyness. Oh, this was going to be fun.

She could smell the foul stench of alcohol from his breath when Buffy leaned down to face her, glaring at her as if he was assessing her sanity. He scoffed when he saw that she wasn't fazed by his intimidating appearance.

Without another word, Buffy sat down on the table and placed his elbow on the table. His hand propped up. "Come on woman, best we get this over and down with."

She took a speculative glance back at Levi at their table with Leon. She gave him a devilish grin when he saw him staring at her. Pulling her sleeves up, she hopped into the seat and grabbed his hand, positioning herself. Ida could hear some of the onlookers laughing when they saw that Buffy's hand was almost twice the size of hers.

"Sure you don't wanna opt-out?" Buffy grated, his gruff voice sounding like sandpapers on her ears. "I won't go easy on a chick if that's what you're hoping for."

A confident smirk layered on her hard expression. "Give it your all, baldie. Don't you dare go easy on me."

"On my mark!" The host shouted, putting his hand up. "Go!"

BAM!

What happened next took every onlooker by utter surprise and disbelief. They didn't even have time to cheer when the match ended. It took just a split moment for Ida to completely overpower her opponent. The next thing everybody knew, the sounds of the back of Buffy's hand colliding violently onto the table reverberated before a loud male scream thundered into the bar.

"ARGGGH!"

The onlookers were still slowly absorbing the reality when Ida had calmly got off her seat. She flicked her red hair across her shoulders. Too easy. Sporting a satiated smile on her face, she peered back at Levi. Nothing but triumphant delight adorned her face.

Levi almost wanted to break out into a chuckle at her overly-satisfied proud appearance, but he held it in. He shook his head, amused by her childish hot-headed competitiveness. He knew she wasn't going to yield. It wasn't in her nature. It wasn't in Levi's either.

Another agonizing scream from Buffy cradling his wrist snapped the frozen onlookers out of their frozen state. The crowd stared at Buffy on the floor as if questioning the verity of the reality they were in. Their jaws slackened, flabbergasted.

"Buffy… lost…?"

"M — My bets!"

"She cheated!"

"That has to be it!"

Fury rushed through her. Ida gave the crowd the most venomous glare she could muster up. "I didn't cheat, he was just too weak!"

Leon was having a hard time processing the situation as well. He took a step back, and Levi could see the cogs churning in his mind about the large loss he would be making from the betting pool. "H — How…?"

"Oi," Levi knocked on the table, causing the owner to look at him. "My bet."

"You're a swindler!" Leon pointed an accusing finger at him. His angry eyes bulged out of his sockets. "Hiding behind your woman like a cowardly bastard!"

Levi's amused expression melted into agitation. He roused from his seat and started stalking towards him like a hunter would do to his prey. "I dare you to say that again, you shitting son of a bitch—"

"Shit!" Ida gasped and scrambled towards him. She held him back by the arm. "We shouldn't, no troubles, remember?"

"Ida—"

"Let's just go." Ida's unyielding eyes prohibited him from finishing his sentence. Her voice dipped into a warning whisper. "He's the owner, we shouldn't start a brawl."

Levi cast a cautious glance at the sudden audience in the bar, measuring up the situation. They were all staring at them. Realizing that any further retorts with Ida were futile, Levi scowled and tucked his hands in his pockets. It was enough for Ida to understand his leniency for this matter.

Ida was dragging Levi towards the exit when Leon spoke again.

"Yeah, listen to your midget-ass wife. Ya don't know who you're dealing with."

Her feet came to a resounding halt. Levi peered at her, wondering why she had stopped.

"Midget..." Ida repeated and she lifted her head up. "Levi…"

Oh shit.

It took one look at her enraged expression for Levi to know what she had planned to do. Before he could even process his next step, Ida untangled her arms. Like a gun signifying the start of a race, Ida rocketed toward Leon. She swung a punch right to his face and he fell to the ground from the impact.

BAM!

"B — Boss!" the inhabitants of the pub shrieked, rushing to him.

A deafening silence echoed through the pub but it was like the calm before the storm.

But what the inhabitants of the pub didn't know was that both Levi and Ida weren't a storm to be reckoned with.

Ida turned around, facing a befuddled Levi near the exit. She gave him a ghost of a grin and lifted her fist up. "On second thought, let's bury the bastard."

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o

Breathing harshly, they fled the uproar of the bar the moment the brawl got too heated, knowing that Military Police would show up soon. It was an absurd situation, one that Levi had never expected himself to get into after joining the Survey Corps, but going rogue with Ida meant experiencing unsheltered situations.

They ran blindly to the block's end before Ida finally stopped. She broke out into a roaring laughter, amused at the situation they had gotten themselves in. "Hahaha! Oh my god, that was fun! You should've seen the look at their faces when you body-slammed that big dude like a rag doll— OW!"

She stopped when Levi smacked the back of her head. Cradling her assaulted head, she glared at him. "Hey!"

"Shut up," Levi growled, glaring daggers. "What the hell were you thinking? You're the one who started the damned brawl, so much for fucking laying low."

"But he called me a midget," Ida argued back childishly.

"Tch." Levi scoffed, flabbergasted at her argument. "So, it's not okay when they call you names, but I have to fucking suck it up when it's directed at me?"

"Exactly!" she declared with much enthusiasm. "You wanted to beat him up too, it wasn't just me!"

He rolled his eyes and stuffed his hands in his pockets. Reasoning with Ida was getting nowhere, he should've known that any logical reasoning was never going past spoiled stubbornness. Deciding that it was better to shut up, Levi started walking away.

"Are you angry at me?" Ida followed him. "You can't be angry at me."

Can't be angry? The cheek of her.

When Levi didn't reply, Ida ran in front of him and placed herself in front of his path. "You looked like you were about to murder that guy too!"

Levi glowered at her with a grave expression. "Tch. I wouldn't."

"I don't believe you."

"Believe whatever you like," Levi spat, pushing past her angrily. "We're not going anywhere like that shitty place again."

What the hell am I doing with my life, he brooded sourly, pissed at the situation. Seriously, getting into a brawl fight out of all damned things…

Frankly, Levi had expected that Ida would've suggested that they head back to the Survey Corps within a few days, but as the days passed, she seemed all the more eager to extend their impromptu vacation instead.

How the hell was he going to suggest such a thing when she seemed so happy?

What was it that Eld said when he requested for yet another leave back in the past? That he couldn't say 'no' to his fiancée? Back then, Levi could never understand why he would've scurried back home whenever his fiancee asked for him, but he got an inkling of why now.

He mentally sighed. Had he really expected that things wouldn't turn out to be quite so fucking complicated when he agreed to her idea?

Fool.

A small chuckle rang behind him. Speeding up, Ida caught up with him and linked their arms together. "Fine, stop scowling. I promise no more dingy bars. But on the bright side, look!"

Ida dangled a heavy pouch filled with coins in front of him with a victorious smirk. The mischief in her green eyes glinted with joy.

Levi's frown was immediate. "How did you get that?"

"I swiped it off the bastard!"

Of fucken course. Levi had to suppress a dismayed sigh. Ida was seriously one of those impetuous stubborn characters with no regard for self-control. Still, the tendency of getting her way was annoyingly persistent.

"Never do that again," he stated with finality, ignoring her eyebrows that came together at his dire tone.

Unlinking their arms, Levi continued walking down the desolate street. His mind was actively finding a way to get Ida back to the Survey Corps when he felt her stubbornly holding onto him again.

"Oh come on!" she whined. "It was rightfully our bet money!"

Levi's exercised his jaw, trying hard not to meet her gaze. "This is getting out of hand. We are soldiers, brat. Not some brainless idiots hanging with the scum of society and getting involved in fights with civilians. Where the hell is your dignity?"

She flinched at the sound of his tone. Ida shook her head, as if to dismiss the pessimistic thoughts.

"Fine, I get it, I get it, but you can't really be pissed off with me, could you?" she asked. "Like, are you really pissed off with me?"

Ida turned to face him full-on, un-linking their arms, and the gleam in her eyes already told him she'd won.

And it wasn't his subordinate looking at him then. The exaggerated smile was gone, only to be replaced by a shy tug to her mouth. Her green irises seemed to let the genuineness bleed through, seeping to his battered and bruised heart. No, it wasn't his subordinate looking at him. It was Ida. His Ida.

And he was powerless to resist.

Fuck.

"Tch." Levi feigned a derisive scoff, maintaining his composure. "If you don't stop talking I'll leave you here."

Ida's expression was one of superficial hurt. "You'd leave a helpless damsel in the middle of one of the shadiest streets in the Walls?"

He glared at her, incredulous she'd say something so shameless. Helpless damsel? It wasn't as if he didn't see her beat up three men charging at her at once just a few minutes ago. His lips pressed into a scowl, and he was sure that his expression told her that he found her absolutely ridiculous.

Ida only gave him a ghost of a grin. Levi realized then that she really was just like him, she came alive when it came to violence.

"Hmpf." Ida pouted, dismissing his cold reaction. She didn't let his grim expression bother her. "Fine, let's just go home!"

Levi could only sigh. He ruffled her hair. "Let's just go." There was a tint of approbation in his voice now.

As they walked back to their horses, Ida was examining his bemused but irritated expression, but she figured she shouldn't say anymore. Truth to be told, Ida felt liberated after the little fight down at the bar. But their impromptu battle of the egos was sobering.

Always so serious, she observed him. The sullen and unmovable man.

Regardless, Ida felt grateful that despite it all, Levi was surprisingly compromising. She had thought that he would've bolted back to the Survey Corps within a few days, but he never did. Truthfully, things hadn't changed much between them, but it wasn't like Ida could picture a lovey-dovey newly-wed life with the stone-faced Levi.

She swallowed the lump in her throat when Ida came to a startling realization that she wanted more.

Conflicted by this realization, she continued studying his profile carefully. Levi's haunting presence was steeled behind the signature calm and collected manner, but the concerning ambiance was suddenly palpable and it shot all the way to the heart. Ida was enjoying their idle days together. As the days passed, a small part of her had even hoped that it would never end. She had told herself that it would be enough for her to simply stay by his side, but she had become rather spoiled if she'd say so herself.

Because that wasn't what Levi would want. Because at this very moment, Ida was certain that he was thinking about the Survey Corps.

She shook her head stubbornly, adamant on dislodging the despondent thoughts. Ida already knew all of that, but the memory pervaded still.

She forced herself to find comfort that Levi was here with her now. That was all she could've ever asked for in the past. Ida smiled appreciatively at the thought. They had been through too much and they deserved this heavenly moment. Her heart grew warmer as happiness streamed through her.

Just as that comforting realization warmed her, it soon became the bane of her emotions. Her stomach churned inwards when the impact of that selfish statement purged through her. The unfortunate fact that this serenity would have to end soon was unnerving.

If she kept silent forever, then maybe… this peace could go on forever.

Ida wanted to do that, but as she felt the weight of Levi's presence beside her, she remembered all the pain they had gone through. The heartache came back, the sobs that filled her chest came back, and the dark future ahead came back to her mind. Titans, the Starkes, the hollow eyes of the anguished fallen, they all came back.

Humanity was counting on them.

She nodded inwardly, never more afraid until this very moment when she realized she had to be the one to put an end to the peaceful life she selfishly wanted.

"Levi," she started hesitantly. "Let's go somewhere else before we head back."

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

"I always knew you were a heartless jerk."

"Are we seriously going at this again?" Levi asked with frustration as he climbed up the hill with a furious Ida trailing right behind him.

Leave it to Levi and Ida to spend a 'lovely' day together at town and end it with a conversation on the way to a lake that erupted in a big argument. The conversation had started pleasant enough. They were preparing their horses, ready to leave the busy districts when Levi spotted a bunch of drunken civilians. It reminded him of the day he saved an intoxicated Ida from Heinrich. It took him no time at all to enlighten her about the facts of the night, intend on a lecture. But Ida had already figured out that much. Then, he informed her that he even had to carry her back to her room, where she further mistook him for a figment of a dream and made him promise to stay till she fell asleep.

At this realization of the full details of that embarrassing night, Ida nodded, blushed, and softly thanked him. The pleasantries ended when Levi made an off-handed comment about how 'sore' his arms were. That was when all hell broke loose.

"You started it when you insinuated that I was fat!" Ida argued, rushing to catch up after they descended down a slope of grassy hills. "You could've asked someone else to carry me back into the estate, no one asked you to do it!"

Turning around, Levi mindlessly reached his hand out to help Ida when he saw her struggling to race down the hills. She took his hand without a moment's hesitation.

"You know, you should be nicer to me, husband," she snarled sarcastically.

"Why don't you stop getting into trouble then?" He shot back at her. "I'm starting to think it's a damn good idea to crack open your head and look at what's inside."

Ida scoffed at his last comment, thinking it was another one of his insults.

"You seem really in shape by the way, all that shitty training you do must've paid off," he added, glancing down panting form before releasing her from his grip and walking away.

"Thanks," Ida replied automatically. She paused when she registered that his comment was actually sarcastic. Before she had a chance to yell at him for being rude, he had already begun to disappear from her sight.

She hurried after him. Her hands held up the long fabric of her dress. Ida struggled to keep up while the tips of her dress grazed on the grass and caught onto a sharp branch. God damn these dresses, she missed her uniform already. Pretty dresses and dense vegetation certainly didn't mix.

"Argh, that damn midget bastard," Ida muttered to herself, almost tripping over a rock. "Levi!" she shouted while panting. "Will you please slow down?"

A frustrated Levi stopped at the sound of her cry. He whirled around and approached her. Oh no. She stared at him, wide-eyed. Ida knew that look.

"Eh! What are you doing?!" she shouted, backing away when she realized that Levi was advancing with a look in his eyes that said: 'If you can't fucking hurry up, then…'

"No, no, no," she whispered, holding her hands out. "It's fine! I can walk fast, I'll just fix this stupid dress—"

Without uttering a word of warning, Levi's arms had already slipped behind Ida's back and underneath her knees. In an instant, he was carrying her again.

"This is fast becoming an annoying trend," Levi muttered darkly, his eyes forming into annoyed slits.

A red flush embellished her cheeks. "Put me down!"

"I'll drop you if you don't stop screeching," he deadpanned. "Fancy asking me to come to his filthy place. The sooner we leave the better."

Ida clamped her lips shut after that. She knew that was no idle threat. Levi held her closer to him when she stopped fidgeting. Ignoring the warm current that electrified her, Ida felt strangely uncomfortable. She didn't want to be catered to! She was a soldier! The second strongest!

She suddenly pushed at his chest and made an abrupt jump from his arms. As soon as her feet landed on the grass, Ida looked back at Levi and stuck her tongue out at him. "I don't need you to be my prince charming," she said, picking up her skirt again. "Hurry up, it should be just around here!"

Though it was hard to trudge through the vegetation, Ida refused to show it. Levi might have good intentions, but she was sick of being babied. She could take care of herself, he didn't need him coming to her rescue all the time.

Amused with her dramatic display of independence, Levi shook his head. A ghost of a smile layered on his lips. "Tch, that damned brat."

Ida smiled warmly at him when he caught up her and Levi knew that the hatchet on their stupid argument was being buried instantaneously. Side by side, they continued to walk until they reached the banks of the lake. In the distance, Ida could see the faint moonlight illuminating the lake. The stars twinkled in mystery, welcoming her. The evening wind gently gushed past them, rustling the leaves. It was a euphoric sound to her. Everything was so carefree. She felt at peace.

"Beautiful, right?" she said, keeping her back turned to him. "I found this place when I was little. From what I heard from my servants back then, it was popular among the nobles who used it as a lover's rendezvous spot."

"You're blocking the damn view," Levi noted bluntly.

"I'll block your view with my fists if you don't stop being an ass," Ida muttered threateningly. She was resentful that he couldn't say something nice. She could feel it in her knuckles: she was ready to punch something — Levi being the primary candidate.

"Tsk. That is if you can manage to land a hit," he responded coolly. Levi was already moving to a nearby tree. He settled down in front of it, and nonchalantly patted the space beside him, a gesture for her to stop arguing and settle beside him.

"Shall we spar soon? You seem to be losing your touch back at the bar, maybe you're getting old." She threw him a dirty look. "And why should I go to you?"

"You can continue yapping to yourself then," Levi grumbled, exercising his jaw. "Maybe you'll tire yourself from all the shit you say."

Acknowledging Levi was growing annoyed by their banter, Ida gave in before things turned sour. She wouldn't want to spend what little time they had left angry with him. Throwing up her white flag, a very bitter Ida carefully moved to the empty space beside Levi. She sat beside him, her hair ruffling slightly when a gentle wind flew past them.

In awe of the magic of nature before them, a companionable silence enveloped them as Levi and Ida relished in the serenity. It seemed at that moment, the whole world stopped to stare as well.

"Levi…" she found herself murmuring, her attention becoming lost in the tranquil scenery.

"What?"

"Do you realize that our whole lives, every choice we've made, all the roads we've chosen, be it good or bad… everything has led us to this very moment in time?" Ida tended to get philosophical at times like this. The scenic world had that enlightening power over her. "Everything is… connected. Whatever choices, big or small, led us to today."

"What a crazy thought," Levi said sardonically, his eyes roaming the picturesque sky. He rested his head back on the bark of the tree. "You wanted to come here, just to see this?"

"Yeah…"

"I figured," Levi replied, his voice distant. His poignant gaze lost in a world of its own. "You always liked stupid, shitty stuff like this."

"Huh?"

"Stars."

Ida stared at him. She never anticipated that he would be aware of what she liked. In fact, despite all the accumulating dirt that they obtained while they trekked through the forest to get here, Levi never once suggested leaving either. Ida knew that he was going along with her to indulge her wishes, but she never thought about it so intently till now. Levi Ackerman, the strict, aloof, Captain of the Survey Corps, could actually be this accommodating.

Another thought invaded her mind. "Levi," she started. "If you weren't a Captain of the Survey Corps, what would you be doing right now?"

He paused to mull over the answer. It threw Ida off when he said, "What the hell do you mean?"

His slightly bewildered voice said it all: Levi had never been asked that question before. And based on the tightening of the muscles in his jaw, Ida was sure that he was very uncomfortable with the question.

"If you weren't Humanity's strongest..." she began carefully. Ida was reticent with bringing up his duty, but she was eager to know his answer since he hadn't dismissed her question yet. "Before you found yourself as a hero, what were you planning to do with your life?"

When Levi fell silent, Ida assumed that he dismissed her question. Just as the silence was about to eat away at them, his voice permeated the fresh, cool air.

"Nothing," Levi sat up straighter. "I'd probably continue being a damned thug. Just living and putting food on the table was hard enough."

Ida nodded, grateful that Levi at least contributed to the conversation. It may have been because he felt nostalgic in the lake they were in, the solitude they found themselves in. Or it could even be because of her company. Whatever the case, Levi seemed more at ease when he spoke to her.

Levi, relieved that she seemed to want to didn't venture further into that topic, turned his head forward, closed his eyes, and lounged under the cascades of the moonlight.

Content with his answer, Ida closed her eyes too and allowed her mind to wander. She imagined a younger Levi in the Underground City. But the thought of the wretched city brought up memories of her past. Images flashed in succession in her mind: the corpses, the impoverished civilians, the starving children...

Guilt suspended over her like a dark cloud. If they got Wall Maria back, then things would improve, right? Ida had to hope that it would. Her mind started venturing on to something else. Bracing herself, Ida stubbornly reminded herself what she had to do. It was her duty, her responsibility.

This dream had to end.

She drew in a deep, preparatory breath.

It was now or never. She was finally ready.

"Levi," she said hesitantly. He drew his concentration away from the view and locked his eyes with her. A lump lodged in her throat. She didn't understand why it was difficult for her to let the words out.

An unbearable silence threatened to plague them. Levi's eyes spoke of tempered concern, he could sense her anxiety.

Not looking away, Ida finally said, "We should return to the Survey Corps tomorrow."

The concern within Levi's gray eyes faded. He was clearly surprised. Soon, a light of understanding shined through. Though his eyes narrowed, the coolness in his voice remained. "Yeah, we should."

Ida nodded apprehensively, not quite sure of what to say after that. The sight of Levi taking his eyes off of her and returning his gaze to the lake didn't inspire much comfort. She studied his profile, distress materializing in her sympathetic eyes.

Desperate to break the progressive silence, Ida said the first thing that came to her mind. "I'm sorry, we shouldn't have left like that. It was irresponsible of me. I'll explain to Erwin when we get back."

"I agreed with it." His face was emotionless as his concentration on the lake appeared to become stronger. Levi seemed lost in contemplation. "Whatever the consequences, it was on me as well."

The gust of wind picked up so violently that Ida's hair flew in just one direction. The sudden change in the force of the wind did not distract her from Levi though. Her eyes stared aimlessly at the scene before them, yet her full attention was irrevocably on him.

A long moment passed through them before Ida felt it was safe to open her lips again.

"Since it's our last night," Ida pointed to the boat that was laid on the grass ahead of them, left by someone else. "Want to get on that? We'll get a better view of the lake."

Levi's brows creased. He was getting fed up with her endless requests. "You've got to be shitting me."

"Why not?" said Ida. "We'll never get a chance like this again."

Levi sighed at her words. She had thought that he would reject her again, but instead, he got off the ground. Ida smiled disbelievingly at him. He had already approached the boat. Picking it up, he pushed it to the lake. In the middle of doing this, Levi looked back at her and extended his hand out to a mystified Ida.

Ida grabbed onto his hand and hopped on. She took a glance at her surroundings. It was all so picturesque.

After she was settled, Levi pushed the rest of the boat off the sleeping grass and onto the calm lake. He hopped in before it drifted off. "Tch. Damn it, it's filthy here too. How disgusting."

"It's not too bad," she said encouragingly, but Ida was beyond touched that he would even step in such a filthy boat. "Wait, how do we get this moving?"

"Probably this shit," Levi muttered, extracting a wooden paddle. Ida had wanted to grab it from him, but he started dipping the lake with the paddle, alternating between sides and stirring the water.

Wonderment suspended over her. She never anticipated this too. Again, she was seeing a new side of Levi. As the small boat threaded further into the lake, Ida gazed at him in an awe-wonder.

At that moment, Levi could've never looked more perfect to her.

The world might've looked at him with fear, seeing him as a cold-hearted violent man, but instead of feeling angry when such thoughts unfold within her, this time a different kind of feeling also aroused — the happiness of being able to monopolize this rare gentle side of him. Ida felt a surge of possessiveness rise within her. Only her. Just her. He was like this only in front of her.

She felt better now. It'll be good enough just to stay by his side.

"Levi," she said, catching his full attention. "Thank you."

The corner of her lips lifted upwards. Ida tucked the strands of her hair behind her ear and stared at the calm lake. Thank you, for everything.

"For what, brat?" Levi snorted, putting away the paddle. They were a good distance away from the shores now. "For getting into a damn brawl with thugs because you couldn't control your shitty temper?'

Ida rolled her eyes at his snarky remark. It was just like him to ruin the moment. "Drop it already, you've been grumbling about it ever since," she gripped sourly.

"I should've just left you," he groused.

"You won't."

A derisive scowl grace his lips. "Why wouldn't I?"

Ida smirked broadly, suddenly feeling bold. "Because throughout the brawl, you weren't paying attention to your opponents. Instead, you were focused on me." Her smirk grew wider. "You won't leave me because you care about me."

She watched as the corners of Levi's mouth twitched ever so slightly. "Idiot," he sighed. "You are never going to regret that decision, are you?"

"Regret the decision to punch that jackass? Of course not!" Ida laughed. "But I will admit it's nice seeing you worried sometimes, and it's nice to be spoiled. I guess some things will always remain the same between us, huh? Even now, I still enjoy pissing you off from time to time."

As she said this, Levi found himself staring at her with interest. He found immense interest in the exquisite curves of her pout and the teasing suppleness of her parting lips. Under the stream of moonlight, the scenic backdrop, and the calm winds, Ida never looked more beautiful.

Oblivious to this, Ida turned her head back to him. "Lev—"

She cut herself off when Levi reached up to run his rough fingers through her hair. He moved them to the back of her neck, and she felt a light pressure pulling her towards him. His eyes flickered between Ida's emerald eyes and her slightly parted lips. He was close enough now that she could taste his breath on her tongue.

Leaning in, his lips brushed softly against hers, as he spoke against her mouth. "I'll make you pay for it later, watch."

She released a mew of approval at the threat of his words as he finally crashed his lips to hers. She felt, rather than heard, the soft groan low in his throat. Ida wanted him entirely. There and then, in the view of the lake and the stars above them. Her hands fisted in his shirt, desperate to somehow bring their bodies even tighter together as his tongue invaded her mouth forcefully.

Levi finally forced himself to break away from their kiss. As reluctant as he was to end their current situation, he was also very aware of where they were at. Not to mention, all the fucking dirt around.

What the actual fuck had happened to discipline?

Silence hung over them. They continued to gaze at each other as if trying to imprint this memory in their memories forever. Their chests heaved up and down in unison. Everything in the world slowed. The lake froze in a trance, the wind stopped howling, and the stars had dimmed. The world around them stopped as Levi and Ida gazed at one another.

Gods, she really did love this man. Ida smiled stupidly at him when she saw tender affection infused in his gaze. Though his expression was stoic, she knew that he was relishing in this magical moment too.

Her lips parted, Ida was just about to say something when something else arrested her attention.

"Huh?"

Feeling something cold and wet entangled itself around the ends of her dress and legs, Ida distractedly averted her eyes. Shock rammed into her when she saw lake water had seeped into the boat.

The bloody boat was leaking!

"Oh my God!" she cried, pushing Levi away from her. She had completely forgotten about the stupor they found themselves in. "The damned boat is leaking!"

"What?" Levi frowned, clearly disoriented. He looked at her incredulously before turning to see what the hell she was blabbing about. "What are you talking about—fucking hell!"

Panic descended upon them. With quick instincts, Levi hastily grabbed the paddle and began to paddle. His obvious goal was getting them back to the foundations of mother earth as quickly as possible. Meanwhile, Ida made herself useful by cupping her hands together and furiously throwing out the water that made its way into the boat. A swell of indignation gathered within her. It made sense that her life was this rotten that something terrible would happen to ruin her scenic bonding with Levi.

"I can't believe this!" Her irritation was rising through the roof. "I can't believe you didn't check the boat!" she complained, completely baffled at the situation. "This is your fault!"

"You were the one wanted to fucking to get on this shitty boat!" Levi argued hotly, scoffing as he paddled faster. Incredulity edged him beyond comprehension. "I should've known better than to fucking to listen to whatever a brat suggests!"

Ida flung him a dirty look. In the heat of her temper, she stood up. "It's obvious that any normal person would've checked—AH!"

"Ida!"

And at that exact moment, Ida lost her balance and was almost ready to fall into the lake. In a blind panic, Levi attempted to jump forward to save her, but this action only made the boat rock harder. That was all it took. Unfortunately for both of them, the leak in the boat was the least of their problems, especially when both lost their balance, plunging into the waiting water.

Splash!

Swarms of ripples and splashes of excess flying water surrounded the area where the lake swallowed them whole. Once they pulled their submerged heads out of the water, both began gasping for air as they coughed out lake water.

Blades of cold water attacked Ida's face while her lips quivered uncontrollably. The lake was amazingly cold at the end of winter. Levi and Ida glanced at one another to make sure the other was okay. When they were relieved to see that the other was alive and breathing, a dirty glare soon followed the relief. No doubt. They blamed each other for what took place.

Bitter with indignation, they swarm toward their leaky boat that now appeared like a chariot from heaven. They rested their hands over the sides of the boat and looked at each other in silence. Their dirty glares morphed into lethargic ones.

Frustrated, Ida took a look around and returned her uneasy gaze back to Levi.

It may have been the cold or the fact that Levi was considerate enough to jump after her, but Ida was suddenly consumed with guilt.

"You know," she began nervously, clearing her throat. Water dripped down her pale face. "This isn't the first time you chased after me and we both fell into the lake. Maybe… I just shouldn't be around water."

"You think?" Levi blinked lethargically, exhaling as his gesture of concurrence. Dimmed anger shrouded over his countenance. The look on his face said it all: he was certain she was going to be the death of him before the Titans could even claim his life.

"On the bright side…" she mumbled, trying to brighten the mood. "...you're clean now that you took a dip into the water. Haha..."

Levi didn't appreciate her sense of humor. His eyes narrowed into a deadly glare. He looked like he was about to scream at her. But just when she thought he was about to rupture, Levi only exhaled exasperatedly while pushing his wet hair back. "Idiot."

It was one thing when Levi lost his temper, but Ida could tell that he had given up on even getting angry. He was done with her.

Mortified, Ida contemplated jumping back into the lake to purposely drown herself.

But in the bigger scheme of things, the whole 'falling in the lake' fiasco was going to imprint itself in her memories and Ida wouldn't allow herself to dwell on how shitty the situation was.

Because the fact of the matter was, with the inevitable hell that was awaiting them when they went back to the Survey Corps, stupid memories like these would be the only thing that would sustain her.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

The ride back to the cabin was uncomfortable and silent. The winter air was not merciful to her soak outfit. Thankfully, they had left their cloaks back at their horses and it provided some warmth for the journey. She might be overthinking, but Ida sensed something heavy was on Levi's mind. However when they arrived back at the cabin, Levi acted the same, and so Ida did not probe any further.

Tickles of pleasurable warmth replaced the coldness that once pricked her body. They were huddled together in front of the fireplace after a bath, their backs resting on the couch, his arm around the frame, and her head on his chest. Satisfied with her victory against the cold, Ida's sleepy mind wandered. A small, bemused smile waltzed across her lips at the recollection of what happened today.

Yet, she knew innately all of this was fabricated reality. The truth was… they were monsters undeserving of this peace. Monsters that humanity needed. Monsters that walked through the blood cloak battlefield without remorse, using the corpses of their friends as steps to reach their goal.

This dream will definitely come to an end tomorrow.

Her lips parted and Ida was finally ready to ask the question that has been weighing heavily on her mind since the conversation at the lake. "Levi, have you ever thought of your strength as a burden?"

With the way his arms muscles tensed up, Ida could guess the answer. Determined not to allow a tense air to fall upon them, she smiled weakly and nodded, accepting his wordless reply as her answer. She didn't want to push it. He was beginning to open up and she didn't want to scare him away.

Noting the cautious intrigue in his eyes, she said, "They say that with great power comes great responsibility."

"That's one stupid way to put it," Levi deadpanned. "But you're not entirely wrong either."

Ida focused on listening to the crackling of the fireplace while her mind roamed. If they had possessed no power, they would just be another couple without responsibilities. But the fact that they both possessed such a great amount of power meant that they carried an immense amount of responsibilities.

Power, Ida thought sullenly, was a double edge sword.

Levi's hand traveled to her cheek and Ida sighed blissfully. She had never once imagined that her Captain had such a gentle side to him.

But… if they went back to the Survey Corps, would all of this change?

"Sometimes," she heard herself saying. "I can't help but wish that we were born with no names. Ackerman, Starke... it's just another chain meant to tie us down."

If there had been music playing in the background, then it would have stopped when Ida said that. A muscle worked in Levi's jaw. Cautiously, he lifted his eyes to meet with hers, his left hand drawing away from her cheek.

"That bastard Kenny never told me his relationship with my mother. Right until he kicked the damned bucket, he decided to spill the beans." He leaned back and closed his eyes. A breath later, he opened his eyes and turned to Ida again. "Tch. I suppose it was because of this as well."

She peered at him, perturbed. Levi had never brought up Kenny. Not ever. It was a sensitive topic to him, one that he would rather not talk about. But this was his moment of vulnerability, Ida realized, and she would be a liar if she said she wasn't curious. She wanted to know more about him.

"What did you two talk about before he died?"

"I've told you before; some shit about how everyone was enslaved to something."

Ida was unable to hide her bittersweet smile while her chest tightened in anxiety. "Do you think that you're a slave to something then?"

There was a long hesitant pause, but Ida waited patiently for a reply, knowing that at times like this, Levi was actively pondering about something. "When he said that, I recognized something…"

"What?" she eagerly pressed.

"That he was right," Levi deadpanned. "I was tethered to my own strength, as well as to my duty. I could never run from it. Right till I kick the bucket, I'd always be enslaved to my strength."

She resented that she had hoped that he would've a different answer. It was completely irrational on Ida's part, but all Levi had to do was to show a bit of thought about her, that perhaps, his duty wasn't everything — not when she was here, not when she was beside him.

Levi's reply was all it took for Ida to annihilate any shred of hope that she had for their unattainable future. Maybe the time spent together for the past two weeks had erased her rational counterpart. Ida knew what she was signing up for when she fell in love with him, but she hated that she was reminded of it now and then.

Self-hatred coiled inside her like a snake. But didn't she convince herself that she was happy just by being beside him? What on earth was she thinking now? What was she hoping for?

"You have to be a hero," Ida couldn't help the bittersweet smile on her face. "Meanwhile, I am tethered to my own strength as well, and to my bloodline."

Silence followed after. It was only a brief moment, but she caught it — that flicker of light in his eyes. It was so minute, but in that split second, vulnerability within his eyes shined through.

"You remind me of him sometimes," he said emotionlessly, avoiding her gaze.

"Huh?"

"Of that asshat, Kenny." Levi clarified. "He always said that being the most important person in the world means that you're the most powerful person in it, back when you were a brat, you were always chasing power too. But you did it not because you wanted to become an important person, but because you believe that it'd protect the people you cared about."

Ida could tell he didn't like where the conversation was headed and was ready to put an end to it.

"He gave me the syringe and just pissed off, just like that." Levi shared as he retracted his arm back from her shoulders, sinking deeper in the couch. "At the very last moment, he had forsaken the shitty power he wanted — making his bloody teachings all go to shit."

"I've always wondered why I even have this power after I've awakened it," Ida said, his gaze on her uncomfortable. "Back then, everyone in the Underground called me a monster… it wasn't until I started fighting real monsters, Titans, that I've started to feel… human."

Levi did not reply, and she felt crestfallen that their conversation had to end so soon when it was actually making progress. Ida's breathing grew a bit unsteady when she allowed the next few words to flow out of her apprehensive mouth, "You know… I've always wanted to tell you this, but you deserve to be happy too."

A grimace spread to his face, struck by the severity of what she said.

"Tch. That's just it, isn't it though?" Levi growled, his focus on the fireplace became stronger as his contemplative mind sailed on. "That's not how it works. That's not how the damned world works. We can't all be fucking happy. We have a choice to make. Someone has to be willing to sacrifice for the end goal to be reached. And I've made my choice a long time ago."

Ida found herself strangely disheartened by what he said. She didn't know what she was hoping to hear, but that wasn't the answer she wanted from him. As silly as it was, she had hoped he realized she was now in his list of choices too.

"I made that choice too, Levi," Ida said, landing a soft touch on his arm. "The day we all enlisted, we made that choice and accepted that fate. But the path that we must walk… it's lonely." He looked like he was about to cut in, but Ida sharply looked away and went on. "And don't lie to me, because I'm just like you. We're at the tip of the pinnacle and we stare down at a mountain of corpses wondering why the hell we survived — this is our curse, but also our blessing, because..."

She felt his apprehension when she trailed off, and Ida took a deep breath, slowly meeting his eyes again.

"The truth is, there are times too that I'm happy that I'm a Starke," she finally continued, "because this power means that I get to stand beside you."

Levi's arms folded tightly over his chest, and he seemed to curl into himself, as though trying to stop the sentiments leaking from him. The moral contemplations were reveling in his gaze.

"Ida, I'll be fucking honest… I don't lie awake at night regretting our old squad's deaths, or any of the other good soldiers that we've lost over the damned years. Yes, I do fucking think of them. But I never, ever regret my choices, because I know putting my duty first was the right choice. They died so we could continue forward. They died for humanity's advancement. I don't regret my choices, Ida. But… when I think about how I left you at the Reiss Chapel… Hell, a part of me wished that instead of saving Historia and Eren—"

Levi got off the couch abruptly, startling her. Ida watched him anxiously as he raked his fingers through his hair. The silence had grown suffocating.

Ida's heart ached for him, and she understood his reluctance to share this with her. Because all of a sudden, he had become vulnerable. He had loved and lost, just like she did. But the difference was this brave, perfect figure of a Captain that she always looked up to; the beacon of hope for so many had been denied the luxury of making mistakes.

And it was exactly why he always had to reinforce this belief within himself. Levi couldn't show any signs of faltering in his resolve to do the right unselfish thing — not to anyone, not even to her.

Finally, a hiss escaped him. His teeth clashed into a fierce grit when he whirled around to face her. "I let you die because I chose my duty above everything, but even if I know that, even if I know that it'll fucking haunt me, I'll do it agai—"

"I know." Ida got off the couch, eager to put an end to this conversation before it got too serious. Her hands reached out to cup his cheeks and she forced herself to look at him directly. His eyes became so dark she could no longer decipher them. "I know, Levi."

Levi seemed to have understood her silent understanding and his scowl softened. It felt like an eternity had passed while the both of them just stared at each other.

Maybe it was then that Levi knew that he was wrong about one thing, that Ida had known for a long time that humanity's strongest was just a normal man beneath those wings.

"Ida," he said hoarsely, grabbing onto his wrist and guiding her hand away from his face. "I'm not fucking perfect."

"I know that you're not."

"You do realize that?"

A soft smile layered on her lips at the sarcastic disbelief in his voice.

"You're not perfect," she reiterated calmly. "You're human, and if it makes you feel any better, I've never held it against you because I understand you, Levi… and I'm just like you… I'd do the same if I was in your position."

"But even so," she whispered, garlanding her arms around his neck. Her lips hovered over his, just inches away. "It's better to have love and lost… than to never feel love at all..."

She didn't allow him to process her words, instead, Ida leaned in closer and kissed him. Time and motion dispelled. And though Levi didn't say anything, she knew that he agreed with her when he held her eagerly and kissed her back.

And Ida had hoped that everything she wanted to tell him could be conveyed with that kiss.

That for all the pain, all the heartache, all the agony that his haunted past had caused him, he would never be anything without them.

Ida pushed him to the couch and straddled him, planting warm kisses down his neck. He locked her in a tight, endearing embrace as he fell into that lustful moment.

As sad, hopeless, and morbid as it sounded, they could never be each other's foremost priority. Those were reserved for the love stories of a perfect world, where lovers would do anything to protect each other. But they were not in a perfect world. Even then, Ida thought that it was okay.

Because their love story would create a genre of its own. Their past, present, and future might be marred with dangerous violence and unpredictability, but they would continue without reservations.

After all, love stories were camouflaged under many pretenses, definitions, and notions. But love was never black or white; it ebbs and flows along the color spectrum, sometimes catching rays of the calm blue and releasing waves of the striking red.

It was an endless, torturous cycle, all the way to the climax and its aftermath. Ida might have secretly desired a different future like the ones she saw in her unattainable dreams, but she would follow him willingly, whatever path he might choose.

Because she knew innately that she wouldn't be anything without him either.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

Ida's eyes followed the trail of her fingers across the taught muscles of Levi's abdomen. Like her own, his skin was hot and slick with the efforts of their earlier endeavors. His eyes were closed, and his chest rose and fell evenly. She mused how even his sleeping face still had a slight scowl to it.

Gently, she shifted so that she could get a better look at him, leaning her face closer to his. She moved her hand upwards, enjoying the firm feel of his chest beneath her fingers. He really was very finely built. Her hand continued to rove over his naked form, finding one of his solid biceps.

How perfect, she thought, running one possessive finger through his abs, and he was all hers.

"You do know that I'm still awake, right?" Levi's deadpan voice suddenly came, startling her. "And I can sense you gawking at me like some pervert."

She blushed and quickly retracted her hands back. Ida laid her head on his chest, trying to hide her red face. "Would you prefer that I gawk at someone else like this then?"

Levi didn't reply, instead, his hand ghosted up and down Ida's spine, dancing across the surface of her pale skin and over her scars. Ida could tell that something was disturbing him, but she was too afraid to venture and explore it. The fear of how he reacted earlier was still fresh in her mind.

And so they stayed there, her body nestled against his, his calloused fingertips trailing up her naked back, the sheets entangled with their bodies as she listened to his heartbeat. The minutes passed, and Ida was beginning to feel her anxiety fade away with his body heat when suddenly Levi spoke in a distant voice.

"If you weren't Ida Starke of the Survey Corps… If you could live any life you wanted, what would it be?"

Ida looked up to him in surprise. Was this what was bothering him? The cautious curiosity in his expression told her that he was thinking about this ever since the conversation at the lake. She felt her throat go dry. Levi had never bothered with these 'what ifs' conversations, knowing that they could quickly spiral out of control. The rational Levi understood their situation better than her. These past days were nothing more than a transient dream, stolen from God's book of mercy.

"I…" she murmured, hesitating.

Ida knew they couldn't afford to be sentimental, so she didn't force these types of conversation either. She knew that there was a high chance that these 'what if' scenarios would never happen. But Ida was afraid because she had hopes, hopes so little yet so profound, that if she voiced them aloud, she was afraid that it would completely shatter her if they did not happen.

But still, she wanted to know. Ida wanted to know the dreams that Levi had, the dreams that he envisioned, and whether or not he too, had dreamt of a perfect life together with her, without the worry of death looming at the door or the war that raged on.

"We'll... probably be farmers," she said quietly, almost ashamed. "Or maybe merchants, I'm fine with either… I… don't really have plans..."

"Mhm," Levi murmured, his hands trailing to her hair, playing with it.

Ida felt a lump grow in her throat.

She was terrified of his reaction, but Levi's expression was neutral and unreadable. At least he didn't look pissed off and Ida argued with herself that he was the one who initiated this conversation.

So… was it okay? To dream one last time?

"What else?" he urged.

She leaned her forehead against his, and they gazed at each other, but while Levi was staring straight at Ida, she was looking somewhere far away, to a future that she had imagined. A future which she so desperately and selfishly desired with him. A future that only existed in her wildest dreams.

"We'll live in a small village, far away from the bustling districts," she continued in a small voice. "We won't travel to town unless it's to trade or purchase things… we'll grow and hunt our own food… enough to feed just our fa—"

Ida stopped herself. Family? Children? She must be mad. This was getting out of control. Ever since she found out about the Starkes, Ida had long decided that she would never have children. She would never continue this vicious cycle of sin. She belonged to the Survey Corps, fighting with her life on the line beside him. Her atonement. Her responsibility. Her duty.

Children with Levi out of all things? Impossible.

"Family," Levi finished for her, much to her surprise.

Was he thinking about what she had said in the past? Ida thought it was plausible. But that was different, and she was a different person at that time. Back then, all Ida wanted was a family of all her own. A place to belong to. But she didn't need it now, all Ida needed was him. Levi was her family and her world in all.

"You've always said you wanted one," Levi said, his tone calm and even. "Even back in the past."

"I don't need one," Ida reminded him, her voice suddenly taking a sharper turn. She pulled away, her eyes suddenly finding interest in the wall instead. "I don't need anything, Levi, I just need you. I'll follow you to the battlefield."

Levi seemed to understand by her stiff body language, it was clear that Ida had not expected this game to go so far. "Ida, it was just a damn question," he deadpanned, looking away as well. "Forget it, we should go to bed."

The silence that followed was uncomfortable. Ida felt a strange sensation overcame her. It wasn't easy for someone like Levi to open up. Knowing him, it was probably eating him up from within, churning in his mind a thousand times before he dared to ask that question.

But surely he knew that it wouldn't happen. Even a rash, impulsive, and emotional person like her knew that it wouldn't happen. Those were just her whims and dreams that would only happen in a gracious, peaceful world. They were so far from that. So terribly far.

"What about you?" she asked quietly. Levi shifted his head to look at her. "You were lying when you said you would be just a thug, don't you have any other dreams?"

Instead of replying, Levi pushed himself off the bed and leaned in, kissing her. Ida resisted initially, but then slowly, she melded into him as she kissed him back, her fingers curling in his hair as she dragged him down.

"A tea shop," he murmured in between kisses.

"What?" Ida stopped the kiss, perturbed. She hadn't expected an answer.

"A tea shop," Levi repeated. "I've always wanted to open one, it's a stupid dream that I had long forgotten."

"A tea shop…" Ida echoed breathlessly.

As Levi buried his face into her neck, Ida briefly thought that it was a possible dream. The Titans and the Survey Corps had long disappeared from the forefront of her mind, and instead, she saw herself and Levi in a peaceful world, fearless and young, at a beautiful teashop nestled among bustling districts, the resounding voices of their faceless customers far across the distance.

A drop of happiness poured into her as she mulled over the peaceful mental images materialized by her dreams she kept locked in her heart. Ida pushed against his chest, smiling. "Wouldn't a cafe be better?"

Levi gave her a wry smirk. "Why not?"

"I've always thought that if I wasn't a farmer, I should open a bakery," she shared, her lips against his collarbone. "A shop filled with sweets… you could serve tea, and I could bake the goods. It'll make a nice decent living."

"You'll probably smash some brat with a cake if he pisses you off," Levi muttered grimly, resting his chin on her head. He closed his eyes, feeling the place where she kissed him burn. "You have too much of a shit temper to work in the service line."

"The same goes for you, Captain," she said, green eyes hazy. "I still remember that one time you smashed that chocolate cake in my face."

At the mention of his formal title, the brief vision of their unattainable future disappeared, a fleeting dream, and Ida saw herself with Levi on the battlefield, blood on their faces, and their weapons in hand. They were on top of the Wall, their Wings of Freedom blazing on their backs, in a cruel world where humanity needed protection. But Ida found that she didn't fear those images anymore, because she realized every vision of her dreams — be it unattainable or not — had Levi in them.

She was not alone anymore.

"Levi," she stopped him. "When we go back… would anything change? About us, I mean. What if things go bad, would we..."

She felt him froze. Then, Levi looked up at her face with a darkened expression. He scoffed before he got off her and slid into the space beside her. "Tch. This is the worst pillow talk I've ever heard."

Ida bit her lip, knowing that she had said something wrong. "Sorry. It's just that... I'm terrified of going back... I… know what is waiting for us, and trust me, I know what is expected of us. I know that our personal feelings won't cloud our judgment. At the end of the day, we all must serve humanity above our own interests. So yes, we might die, but I want you to understand: your death would haunt me more than anything…"

Maybe Levi didn't know the specifics, but he seemed to register the importance of it. Slowly, his eyes widened a little, then settled again. "Ida, I would always be beside you."

"Even if things go badly between us?" she asked. "Even if—"

"Fucking hell, Ida," Levi grumbled, scowling. "Yes, of course. Now would you shut up? This is a shitty way to cap off the night."

Ida only smiled and closed her eyes. "Yeah, I should shut up."

"Next time you're going to fucking talk about shit like this, can you just wait until…" Ida heard him pause, and she opened just one emerald eye, studying his grim expression; gritted teeth, jaw clenched and eyebrows furrowed.

Levi made a noise with his teeth and rolled to his side, turning his back to her. "Just never talk like that."

At his reaction, Ida's lips curled upwards sadly, and she spooned up behind him, wrapping an arm around him, a hand flat against his muscular chest. She could feel it. She could feel his racing heartbeat. Strong, vibrant, and so very much alive.

Her throat tightened as she pressed her forehead on his back. "Levi?"

She heard him sigh. "What?"

"Make sure that this heart keeps beating."

There was a pause, then his hand covered hers, their fingers intertwining.

Ida did not want to continue the conversation. Instead, she closed her eyes and continued to fool herself with her selfish dreams. She wouldn't wait for the truth to come and blind her tomorrow. Tonight, Ida wanted to believe in the lies. Because no matter how much they tried to convince themselves, some choices simply did not exist, and they were just left with that — unkeepable promises, irrational indulgence, and unattainable dreams.

o o o —xπ{Ö}πx — o o o

When morning came, it was warmer than expected. In silence, Levi and Ida both packed their belongings in preparation for a long ride back to Trost. Perhaps it was the looming thought of the Survey Corps in their minds, but they hardly even spoke a word or looked at each other directly in the eye since they got out of bed.

Ida had abandoned the casual dresses and sported a casual white top and long black pants. She took her bag and went through her items one last time. It was then when she felt something in between the fabrics of her clothes. Curious, she extracted the item out.

It was the bracelet that Levi had gifted her. The color had faded, the silver was scratched, but it still looked as beautiful as when she first laid her eyes on it.

"Ida," Levi approached her. "Are you done?"

She felt his gaze on her, and then on the item that she was staring at.

If there was ever a moment in time that allotted Ida the opportunity to break the awkwardness, this was that moment. Slowly, she met his gaze and held the item out. "Wear it for me."

He stared at her, hesitant to move. Levi's expression was indescribable. But then, he took the bracelet from her hands and clasped it around her wrist.

"Seems like a long time ago since this was on my wrist again…" she whispered, smiling tenderly. "Everything feels like such a long time ago…"

Levi did not say anything when she voiced this. He merely stared at her, a million different emotions plaguing his features. There was unbridled regret in his gaze. Then, he lowered his head and stared at the ground, conflict enveloping the powerful aura that continued to radiate from him.

She knew what he was thinking then.

"Let's go home," she said with unbridled strength. "It's time for this dream to end."

At that moment, Ida could feel his frustration, his unsounded desperation, and worse of all — his heartache. Levi didn't want her to return with him — to return to a reality full of danger, where he had to fear for her life. But… what could he say now? Against his better judgment, she was now tied to him.

She moved and hugged him. There were no words, but she wanted to let him know it was okay. Every nerve in her body ached at the thought of him, the revered humanity's strongest, the chosen hero of this ruthless world, finally becoming a simple human for her.

All of a sudden, there was determination in his gray eyes.

She let out a small gasp of surprise when his rough fingertips found her jaw, and his lips were on hers. A multitude of emotions stampeded over her, yet the forerunners were the love and pain she felt while he kissed her. Ida found the tears prickling at her eyes before she could stop them. But then his kiss grew soft, and the way his lips moved against hers deliberately and slowly, as if to make the moment last as long as possible.

She could feel the lingering ache in his fading kisses, yet he continued to hold her close to him. It was as though he was savoring the sensation of loving her without reservations one last time.

Finally, he broke away from her, and for the first time that morning, Levi met her gaze in earnest. "I regret it."

His hands reached to cup her face, looking like he was considering his words carefully. "I never thought that I'll feel this way, I thought I had it all under control; that I was sparing us both the pain." He paused. "But then I realized that I truly lost you, I regretted it more than anything. I was a stubborn asshole. Hell, I knew it a long time ago. After all that we've been through, how the fuck could I not fall for you?"

Her heart swelled. Ida knew all about the violence, all the agony, all the deep-rooted pain he had within him, but she'd also seen the vulnerability when he dared to let his walls down for just a moment. The careful way he held her in his forever bloodstained hands. And she knew that now, this would be the last time Levi could ever be truly just a man to her.

"So, you love me?" she asked with teasing humor. "Who would've thought, the strict Captain falling in love with his disobedient subordinate."

Levi scoffed. "Tch. Don't make it sound like some cringey, shitty love story. It's not, we don't live in that sort of world."

"Yes, we don't," Ida agreed, her eyes softening. "But even then…"

"Even then..." Levi repeated mindlessly after her, still looking deeply into her soul.

Slowly, she felt all her fear, hesitation and pain fade away. That one look he gave her was enough.

Was it better to have loved and lost? Or would they be better off with only the knowledge of what could never have been?

Ida had the experience of both, and so did Levi.

And yet they were none the fucking wiser.

"Even then," she finally continued, smiling when their foreheads touched. "I'd love you still."

Their noses brushed gently as they remained silent and still.

Thoughts and memories were pacing around in her mind. It all felt like a dream from another world, but some dreams were never meant for reality. The last two weeks were enough. They had escaped the cruelties in the world and temporarily lived in a dream world. But Ida would go back to reality without any hesitation and fear. Because she knew she'd be content just by standing beside him through it all.

The dream had finally ended.

And now, it was time to return to their post as soldiers of the Survey Corps.

---

This is the first chapter with only Levi & Ida in it. I hope you enjoyed it! I wrote this while recovering from surgery so hopefully it's not too bad. I honestly miss them bantering like this.

As always, do leave your thoughts, it keeps me going! :D

Thank you for your kind feedback and support in the last chapter! Till the next!