Chapter 21: The Concerned Dead

Severus had kept his meeting with Dumbledore secret from everybody concerned, and whenever he saw him in the Great Hall at breakfast or dinnertime, he received a twinkling smile from the Headmaster. Fortunately, Lily and the others never noticed as they were either too keen to dig into their food, or were up to their noses in books, revising for the first-year exams.

Severus was not too keen on Dumbledore's newfound favouring of him. As discreet as it was, Severus felt that Dumbledore wasn't learning anything about himself from the memories he had seen. The Headmaster's favouritism of Gryffindors and almost instantaneous poor judgement of Slytherins was what led to James, Sirius and Peter Pettigrew continuously getting away with murder at Hogwarts in the past life, not to mention the injustice he suffered on the night James saved him from Remus. Hardly any punishment came to the Marauders, and Severus was chastised, despite being nearly killed. He decided to give Dumbledore some harsh words next time they met. At present, though, a couple of weeks had passed and no news from Dumbledore came.

On a brighter note, a week into the new term, on Severus' twelfth birthday, he, Lily and the others, including even James and Sirius were approached by Remus in the Great Hall.

"I'm sorry I've been so distant lately. Things at home have been, um, pretty bad. That's why I chose to stay here over the holidays. I only would have made things worse at home. Mum spent Christmas in St Mungo's. I would have gotten worse if I went home." he said quietly.

"Oh, Remus." said Lily affectionately. "I hope she's okay."

"Yeah, she's a bit better now. Not feeling too fantastic myself though." replied Remus.

Severus could see Remus hated having to lie to his friends, but at least he was willing to have friends again.

"Happy birthday, Severus." said Remus, handing Severus a book on potion-making for highly intellectual students.

Severus smiled, thanking his reconciled friend.

After a day, Remus managed to get Severus, James and Sirius alone.

"Thanks for not telling anyone." he said.

"No problem." said James earnestly.

"Besides, if we did, we'd be out of an education." teased Sirius.

Even Remus was able to chuckle slightly, though Severus frowned at how Sirius could find a joke in such a serious matter.

"Your secret's safe with us, anyway." said Severus.

Remus was grateful.

"And again, Remus, we're sorry." said James.

"Really." said Sirius with a more honest tone.

Remus nodded with a smile.

"Forgiven. This time." he added warningly.

James and Sirius smiled, and invited him to spend more time with them and Pettigrew in the common room.

Severus sighed in suppressed exasperation. It seemed that the Marauders would come to be after all.

Severus, Lily and Quincey were in the library revising for exams. They were not due to begin until May and June, and it was only Lily's birthday at the end of January. But Severus' insistence to keep ahead of things, and Lily and Quincey's keenness to learn a lot due to being neophytes to the world of magic still urged them to begin early.

"I don't understand half of this Transfiguration stuff!" complained Quincey.

"Huh!" scoffed Lily. "You think Transfiguration is difficult? Try reading up the Goblin Era in History of Magic. Binns has got to be the only one interested, and that's a Muggle-born talking! I don't think Tuney will enjoy this subject any more than we do, to be honest!"

Severus chuckled, unsure. Petunia was too obsessed with learning magic. She would likely be more willing than Lily to learn anything, especially as Lily would have more variety of magical education than Petunia ever would.

"I don't see many issues with Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts." he spoke up. "I bet you two can't pronounce this: Wugglaruggarara."

They both tried without reading from the book, to no avail, and it caused them to break into laughter. Madam Pince was none too pleased, and almost instantly threw them out of the library for that day.

"Aw, well, back here, same time tomorrow?" asked Quincey.

"Yep." replied Lily.

"Oh, um, Lily, my parents helped me buy you this over Christmas, for your birthday. Happy Birthday." He handed her a gift-wrapped package, and upon opening it, Lily found a romance novel with magic characters.

"Oh, well, thank you, Quincey!" she said, touched he had given her something that would appeal to her previous days before learning she was a witch. But then again, they were both Muggle-born.

Severus was suddenly worried. Did Quincey have a crush on Lily? Why else would he buy her that sort of book?

After promising to sit with Lily at dinner, to celebrate her birthday together, Severus and Quincey went to the Ravenclaw tower to put away the books they checked out of the library. Severus promptly burst into his worried interrogative.

"Um, Quincey, um, how can I put it? Um, do you have a thing…for…Lily?"

"No?" replied Quincey. "Why?"

"Well, um, just the romance book." mumbled Severus.

"Well, as Lily is a girl, and you two clearly like one another more than mere friends, I found a Muggle-written romance novel to be a safe bet." said Quincey with an innocent air.

Severus froze. Quincey saw through him already. He knew Severus cared for Lily damnably, but the only reason Severus was in love at so early an age, was due to the memories of his past life, and the fact that Lily was all he returned for. But what did Quincey mean by they clearly liked each other more than just mere friends? Did he believe Lily was in love with him too? Already would have been a suitable word, if not for the fact that to Severus, it took two lifetimes for the penny to finally drop for him.

"I-I don't know…"

"What I'm talking about? Come off it, Severus." chuckled Quincey cheekily. "You're smitten. I've never seen an eleven-year-old look so fixated on a girl before."

Severus was pale. He never spoke of his love for Lily to anybody except Dumbledore and more recently, his mother. At least not whilst alive, anyway.

"Well…supposing I was…" he said in an attempt to sound theoretical, "what makes you think Lily feels that way toward me?" He paused before adding pitifully; "I'm no James Potter."

Quincey looked at his best friend as if he were asking what two plus two was.

"One: Lily will likely never be interested in Potter, especially after he treated you. Love isn't all looks, my dad isn't exactly a looker, but Mum loves him for who he is. Two: I feel she likes you too, because of how her eyes sparkle whenever you show up. She doesn't look that happy even around her girlfriends, even less Potter."

Severus tried and only just succeeded to suppress the smile of joy from crossing his lips.

"Well, on the bright side, at least I will likely never have to vomit at the sight of my best friend snogging my worst enemy." he said light-heartedly.

Quincey's smirk of knowing dropped.

"He isn't your worst enemy anymore. You said you'd give him a chance."

Severus felt ashamed to make his friend worry. Old habits died hard, and he was still struggling with the concept of calling James Potter a friend. Although, to his surprise, the first month of term had come to its end today, and James never tried to upset him once. Not so much as a tease, or a degrading smirk. And certainly, no hexes whilst his back was turned.

Sirius was trying to get him involved in their social group more often. James somehow had the tact to realize that it was too soon to try and initiate Severus into their close band of comradery, assuming there would ever be a suitable time.

Severus snapped out of his thoughts and quickly recovered himself.

"Sorry, Quincey. You're right. I just find it hard to believe that Potter could change his demeanour towards me."

"You still confuse me about that." said Quincey. "When you say that, you sound like he's tormented you for years, not a couple of months."

Severus sighed, hating to lie.

"No, I just…we came to hate each other almost instantly. I had such a foreboding that day that we would be enemies forever."

Quincey could understand that. He just wished Severus would fully bury the hatchet. Despite saving James and Sirius' lives, he still felt the need to bear a strong hatred for them. He didn't want Severus' hate to cause him any pain later.

Severus had already seen through this possibility, but as he earlier thought, old habits die hard. He honestly was unsure if he could ever forgive James and Sirius' original counterparts. As much as James showed remorse and care for him, even provided testimony that he deserved a second chance, Severus could not let go of the fact that he admitted that he still would have taken Lily away from him, and as much as she regretted hurting him, Lily never regretted her marriage to James. He would always be able to forgive Lily, but he just didn't have the same capacity towards James Potter and Sirius Black. This new friendship development would take time, and somehow, he needed to ensure that Lily and Quincey understood that.

In Heaven, James and Lily were watching over Severus' universe, and over Harry's. Harry's family life remained happy and cheerful, although Harry was growing concerned over Dark creatures and wizards being rather mysterious and suspicious as of late. But no threat was posed towards him, Ginny, their children, nor any of their friends and extended family.

But Lily and James were worried about Severus. His new life had to revisit his past one, when he was confronted by Dumbledore, and now they feared his ongoing hatred for James and Sirius, whom also looked in on him and Harry now and then, was growing too strong for him to maintain his secret from his friends.

"I wish he didn't still hate me." sighed James.

"Can't say I blame him." said Lily. "Albus told us after he died. When we asked if he believed Sev could change and move on after the War was over, he shook his head, then reiterated those words he said to Harry after Sirius died: 'Sometimes the wounds run too deep for the healing.' He clearly didn't believe that he could ever let go of his hatred for you after you won my heart in his place."

"But he didn't know of the chance that Severus could start over. I feel that Severus is letting the hate and pain of his old life affect his chances of gaining happiness in this new one." replied James with concern.

"You're absolutely right." said Lily affirmatively. "But Severus was never one to let things go. His wounds are still too deep. He had to endure the old you all over again too. If it hadn't been for the alterations of this universe, he would still be being bullied by this new version of you. It certainly made me gleeful to see the tables turned in that universe."

James noted Lily's ironic tone, and knew she still hadn't completely let go of James and Sirius keeping that particular secret from her for all those years.

As if on cue on the very thought of him, Sirius Black appeared in their home.

"Knock, knock." he said smugly.

"Will you ever learn to knock?" asked Lily exasperatedly.

She and Sirius never fully saw eye to eye after their deaths. She had not only learned of how Sirius tried to kill Severus after her death, but had also witnessed him continue to harass Severus after escaping Azkaban. Although Severus gave back as much as he received, there were some things that Sirius did to him that Lily abhorred, including banging his head repeatedly whilst levitating him out of the Shrieking Shack. Although Sirius appreciated Severus' true loyalties and the reasons why, he still never forgave him for 'getting him killed.' To Sirius' mind, if Severus hadn't have goaded him for being useless to the Order due to being in hiding, he might not have thrown caution to the wind and gone to save Harry and his friends, resulting in his death. James and Lily both knew Sirius would have taken the risk regardless, as he loved Harry like a son, but the rogue dog still maintained his coldness to Severus, keen to have a reason to always dislike him. It was clear to Lily since then that James matured much more than Sirius ever did, and that Sirius likely still didn't regret his actions against her best friend.

James could see that Lily still held some coldness for Sirius, and thought that she might have cheered Severus up if she had told him that though she still loved James, she was angry with him for all those lies, albeit now forgiven, and that she was by no means as close a friend to Sirius anymore. If anything, she only tolerated his presence for James' sake, and one day, Harry's. Although he hoped that she would forgive Sirius by the time Harry's death came.

"Why would I knock?" asked Sirius boisterously. "I'm always welcome in the home of my favourite couple!"

James could see that Sirius was being cheeky and was therefore on thin ice.

"Looking in on Harry?" asked Sirius.

"Just did." said Lily. "Currently looking in on Sev." She said that last sentence stiffly and firmly.

"What you wanna check on Snivy for?" asked Sirius. "He's got his second chance, if he plays his cards right with the other you, he may not want anything to do with you anymore."

"PADFOOT!" snapped James warningly.

Lily looked mutinous.

"Alright, alright!" said Sirius raising his hands in the air. "Merlin, what's the big deal? He gets his happy ending, you get to watch him and Harry be happy and you and James are still together in Paradise."

James knew Sirius was trying to relieve the tension he caused, but was clearly not succeeding.

"He's still my best friend! I won't forget him…even if he does one day forget me. I'll be sure to remind him when he dies again!" She said that with a hint of cheekiness. The same sort of cheekiness that the Marauders had rubbed off on her.

James guided Sirius away into the kitchen, which automatically conjured up some delicious looking sandwiches. Heaven was full of privileges.

Lily was left alone in peace, watching over Severus as he and his friends celebrated the new Lily's birthday in the Great Hall.

"I hope you and she become a couple, Sev." she said. "But please, don't let the past destroy your future all over again."

Lily was saddened at that possibility. Severus got his second chance, but that was all it was…a chance. There was no guarantee.

"I wish there was something I could do to help you succeed, Sev." she murmured. Then another thought struck her, which gave her more inclination for upset.

An hour later, Sirius bade farewell to James, as he was due back to help his heavenly wife, Marlene Black with…well, nothing. But she did want him back as they enjoyed each other's company.

As James waved off his best friend, agreeing to meet him at Remus and Tonks' house tomorrow, he returned to Lily, whom seemed to be deep in thought.

"You alright, my little Lily?" he asked affectionately, trying to restore the smile to her face.

"I've been thinking about Sev's tasks ahead." she said, but with a small smile at her husband's loving words.

"What about them?" asked James.

He didn't begrudge Lily for thinking about her best friend a lot of the time. Why shouldn't she? He spent many a day in the company of his two best friends and often spoke of them too. Lily didn't mind that, but still drew the line with Sirius. She was able to forgive Remus, but was still annoyed that he never divulged to her the lies that James told. It didn't surprise her though. Remus never did anything against his friends in life.

"I just wish that I could help him somehow." said Lily. "I want to remind him that the past needs to stay in the past, despite Albus' interference. And I want to make sure he doesn't drag Severus into the life of a spy again. And I want to make sure he does get his happy ending. And…I want to try and tell him the secrets of all those Horcruxes."

James understood. He and his wife had watched over Harry's quest in securing all the Horcruxes. They didn't know about the ring, as they didn't watch Dumbledore when he found it, but they knew that the diary had been entrusted to the Malfoys, the Hufflepuff cup with the Lestranges, albeit later in life. They didn't know where it was during the First Wizarding War. They knew that the Ravenclaw diadem was in the Room of Requirement, and they knew that one day, Voldemort would use Regulus Black and Kreacher to hide Slytherin's locket in the cave near his orphanage.

"I wish we could help him too, Lils." he said softly. "But I really don't see what we can do. The Higher Ones and Albus said already that he had no guarantee. We can only hope for the best."

Lily looked defiant.

"I will find a way to help him somehow. I may not have been the best friend he needed in life. But I will be the best friend I can be in death! I will do whatever I must to help Sev achieve the life he deserves! You'll see if I don't!"

James didn't argue the matter. Once Lily made up her mind, wild flying horses wouldn't stop her. He was cynical inside, but allowed his loyalty to be the best husband he could be to her in death, as he had failed to honestly be in life, to override his personal misgivings and doubts.

"I'm sure that if anyone can find a way, it's you, Lily." he said, pulling her to him in a loving embrace, in hopes of soothing her fiery spirit.

Lily melted into the hug, but deep down, she was not nearly as confident as she made herself out to be. And she wanted James' support.

But somehow, sometime, she would make up for all she did wrong to Severus. Just as he had done for her in his past life. She would help him achieve the life he had always wanted.

"I promise, Sev." she whispered after James released her from their embrace.

(And that's Chapter 21 finished. And I have to say, I HATE writing Jily scenes. But for the sake of the story, I'll persist. Hope you're all enjoying the story. More coming soon! Please review, any feedback is welcome, provided it's polite and not rude and cynical! Just some friendly advice will suffice! Thank you!)